by heartsdesireintl | Jul 30, 2013 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
A resounding theme keeps popping up in my Inbox, conversations with clients, and even on TV shows. The theme is courage.
Any time we want to create something new in our lives – whether it’s transitioning to a new career, moving to a new home, or taking on a new goal or lifestyle – there will be fears that come up. And the thought of starting a new relationship or restoring the intimacy in an existing relationship is no exception. In fact, contemplating the possibility of letting love into our lives and hearts can be one of the most terrifying experiences we can have.
Why?
Well, because of our past. Most of us have experienced some type of disappointment and heartache as a result of having allowed ourselves to love someone. Sometimes the pain is a result of a betrayal, of poor timing, having fallen for someone who simply wasn’t right for us, or not having had the knowledge or awareness of how to make things work.
One of the first things we do when we begin working with clients is to help them see how their fears are actually causing them to reject and block the possibility of experiencing love. We do a series of exercises where we help the person identify the fears, resentments, and regrets, and guide her through letting releasing and letting go of them so that she is able to create a space where love is able to flow freely to, through, and from her. If you were on the “Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams” Teleclass, you experienced the power of this exercise for yourself!
It’s only when we release the heaviness of all of disempowering thoughts and negative beliefs from the past that we can feel free to let love in, here and now.
Are you ready to let love in? If so, ask yourself:
- Am I willing to let go of resentment? Is there a person (or persons) in your life who hurt, disappointed and/or betrayed you toward whom you’ve been holding onto the anger, pain, and resentment? Are you willing to let that go?
- Am I willing to face my fears and not allow them to choose for me? Too often, we’re allowing the fear of getting hurt again choose whether or not we’re willing to open up our hearts. Unless we identify the fear as just a thought and not what’s actually happening right now, we will cheat ourselves out of the experience of loving and being loved.
- Am I willing to let go of regrets? Perhaps one of the hardest people to forgive is ourselves. We blame ourselves and make ourselves wrong for having said or done the wrong thing – or for not having said or done the right thing. We punish ourselves by replaying our mistakes over and over again. We create a story that we “deserve” to be alone or unhappy. And we do this to protect ourselves, because as uncomfortable and lonely as it may be, at least we’re not risking our hearts again.
Maybe we did make some mistakes along the way. Perhaps we could have said or done something differently. However, it’s also possible that lessons were learned and that we simply didn’t have the knowledge, skills, and awareness necessary to make different choices.
One of the best ways to gain new knowledge and skills and heighten your level of awareness is to work with a coach. Every time I’ve invested in working with a coach, I have been able to completely transform different areas of my life. Whether it’s been learning how to create a healthier lifestyle, causing breakthroughs in my personal and spiritual life, or creating growth in my business, I can trace the changes and results to my working directly with a coach to help make that happen.
This is why I believe so strongly in the power of coaching and why I’ve opened the doors to a new coaching and mentoring program that is going to provide you with the skills, insights, and practices that are going to help you create the type of relationship your heart desires. I’m not talking about a program where you learn a bunch of cute and fun “dating tips” and strategies for getting a man to fall in love with you.
I’m talking about a partnership where you and I work together to break down the walls that have been stopping you from attracting the love that you want and being to put into practice the skills that will help you create a meaningful, fulfilling, loving, and intimate relationship with a man that lasts for a lifetime.
If you are ready to make a commitment to yourself and do the work that it takes to create new love or restore the love and intimacy that has been lost in your relationship, the Create Your Love Story program will provide you with the support, mentorship, and results you have been searching for.
Don’t allow your fears to stop you from actually living in the relationship you wish, pray and dream of. That dream is in your heart for a reason. You were created to love and be loved.
Now it’s time to get out of your own way and begin to completely transform your life and your experience of dating and relationships.
If you’re ready to begin, I’m ready to work with you! Click here to begin creating your love story today!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 26, 2013 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship
by Gladys Diaz
We have such exciting news to share with you!
As you know, we’ve been sharing a lot about how you can create your own love story and make your dreams come true! (If you weren’t able to join us for the very special call we had on Wednesday, check out the information below regarding this Sunday’s encore call!)
Whether you are single, in a relationship, or married, the fact is that you get to be the author of the love story that is your life! The first, and most important step, however is believing that you can experience the relationship of your dreams.
That’s why we’re so excited about a new project that we’ve been invited to participate in by a very talented photographer and visionary who has experienced the power of the Law of Attraction in her own life!
During a course she took earlier this year, Melisa Caprio learned how powerful Positive Affirmations can be in making goals and dreams a reality.
She wrote her dreams as Affirmations…
…and they started coming true!
Being the generous person she is, she didn’t want to be the only one experiencing these miracles in her life, so she began thinking of a way to help others manifest their own dreams. She came up with the idea of using her love of photography to help people visualize what they wanted to manifest in their lives by creating Postcards that they could then “send” to the Universe!
And this is where YOU come in!
A friend and client of ours shared with Melisa the work Heart’s Desire does and how it helped her to manifest her relationship. Melisa was inspired and has invited us (that means you, too!) to create Postcards from the Universe that affirm what you want to experience in the relationship of your dreams!
If you participated in one of the “Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams” teleclasses, you created some powerful affirmations about the relationship you would like to experience. What better way to declare your intention for having the relationship you’ve always dreamed of than to shout it out to the Universe?!?
Melisa is going to collect your postcards and create an original piece she will be showcasing at an upcoming art gallery opening! The piece will be titled “Heart’s Desires” and will be made up of all of our Postcards to the Universe! Your postcard may even be selected to be included in her upcoming book!
Isn’t this a creative and inspiring idea? Just imagine…all of our affirmations and dreams coming together to create a beautiful and original masterpiece that is all about LOVE!
All you need to do is head over to Melisa’s website and either select an image from her Postcard Gallery or make your own original Postcard using a photograph, drawing, painting (be creative) that depicts your dream relationship! Then, on the back, write a Positive Affirmation that really captures what you want to experience in your relationship, like:
“We are loving, passionate, and generous with one another.”
“We communicate openly and honestly, and trust one another completely.
“We share our lives, our bodies, and our spirits with one another.”
“We celebrate one another’s victories and encourage one another during difficult times.”
These are examples of Gladys’ Positive Affirmations for continuing creating the relationship of her dreams with her husband! Now you want to search within your heart to discover what it is that you want to experience in your dream relationship and put that on the back of your Postcard!
If you were on Wednesday’s “Creating the Relationship of Your Dreams” Teleclass and created a statement affirming what you want to experience in the relationship of your dreams, go to the Postcards to the Universe page and create your postcard now!
If you weren’t on the teleclass, make sure you listen to the encore calls that are being offered this weekend, do the exercises, and write a beautiful Postcard to the Universe.
The directions and additional information about this project can be found on Melisa’s website.
Now, here’s the deal, if you want your Postcard to the Universe to be considered as part of the Heart’s Desire masterpiece, you must submit your Postcard via post mail by Thursday, August 7th! So, don’t wait!
Create the relationship of your dreams, send your Postcard to the Universe…Then, simply enjoy the process of watching it manifest in your life!
Join this life-changing call and begin living the life and love of your dreams!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Photo courtesy of Melisa Caprio, Postcards to the Universe
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 1, 2013 | Dating, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Yesterday I attended Social Media Day Miami, an amazing event organized by a group of community volunteers who believe in the power of social media for connecting, sharing your message, making a difference, and building your business. Many of the organizers belong to the Social Media Club of South Florida, the group that the set the 30-Day Blogging Challenge in which I’ve been participating.
I attended the event to learn how I can continue to use social media to connect with women from around the world who are interested in not only attracting a good man into their lives, but building an extraordinary relationship that lasts for a lifetime. Surprisingly, however, some of the best lessons I learned had nothing to do with social media.
They didn’t even take place during the sessions. They happened spontaneously in the hallways talking with some of the men who attended the event.
They were lessons about how men feel about being married; how they see their roles as fathers; and how, when a man is really interested in a woman, there is nothing that he’ll let get in the way of being with her.
Lesson #1: Men Love Being Happily Married
The first teachable moment occurred as I was on my way to a session. I happened to stop to say hello to a very good friend of mine who just happened to be talking about me to two young men and a lady. She was telling them about how the coaching she’d received from me and Heart’s Desire International had helped her get in touch with her feminine energy and attract an incredibly wonderful man into her life!
I was so surprised to see how excited the two guys were about the work that I do. They wanted to know more about it, and then Lesson #1 came. One of the men said, “You know what I didn’t know. That when you get married (pointing at his wedding ring), it just gets better!”
This is why, when I introduce myself as a dating and relationship coach, and a woman quickly (and, sometimes nervously) says, “Oh, I’m happily married!” – as in: “I don’t need your business card. Nothing’s wrong here! Thank you!”) – I tell her “That’s great! Here’s my card! I also specialize in teaching women how to keep the love and passion alive in their relationships so that they can stay happily married for a lifetime!”
It was great to hear a man speak so excitedly about love and relationships, and even more heartwarming to hear him speak about being married as the best thing that ever happened to him. That, ladies, is one of the best compliments a woman can ever get!
Lesson #2: Men Take Their Roles as Fathers Seriously
As another friend and I were talking to two other men later in the day, the conversation turned to marriage and parenting (I can’t help it! I’m a magnet for these conversations!)
It was absolutely inspiring when the men began talking about their children and how they see their roles as fathers. One of the men shared how, he’s not so concerned about his kids getting a good job and succeeding. He said that those things will fall in place. Instead, he said he wants them to become “good people.” He wants them to honor God and just be good people. And the passion with which he spoke let you know just how committed he was to being the role model for them to follow.
The other man shared how for him it’s important that his kids be open to all different types of people. He and his wife come from completely different cultural backgrounds, and he wants his children to be exposed to as many cultures, foods, and experiences as possible. He told us how every weekend he and his family spend time with other families from different backgrounds, eating cultural foods, and just learning about one another. He, too, was passionate as he spoke, and it was so great to see a man taking on that role of leader and teacher in his family. And, for the second time that day, I heard a man say that being married and having a family were the best things that had ever happened to him!
Both these men left me inspired. Not because this is something that is rare. There are billions of other dads out there who are just as loving, committed to their families, and who take their responsibility as fathers seriously. What inspired me was how willing they were to be so open and vulnerable and the pride with which they spoke of their children at a business event. I was really moved and said a prayer of thanks for my own husband who had stayed home with our kids so that I could attend the event!
Lesson #3: When a Man is Really Interested in You, He Won’t Let Anything Stand in His Way
One of the two men who was sharing about his role as a father, also shared the story of how he and his wife met and got together. (I told you – I’m a magnet for these types of stories!)
He told us how, after feeling some attraction to her, he organized a business event halfway across the country, just so that he could see her. Then, when she mentioned she’d be bringing a male friend to their first lunch, he assumed it was her boyfriend, and begged his business partner to go with him so that it wouldn’t be too awkward. She never did bring the other man to the lunch (and he ended up being just a friend), but he’d already made up a story in his head that she wasn’t interested. He shared how he felt so foolish for having thought that there would be anything between them and how he came home feeling like the trip had been a waste of time.
A few weeks later, when she was flown in to his city by her company, he told us how he felt he had to rent a car because his was so beaten up and he didn’t want her to see it. (He also told the hilarious story of how he tried to get the rental car key chain off to no avail and how he had to drive while trying to hide it!).
He took a lot of heat from his business partner for planning a business event in another city, taking someone with him on that trip, and now wanting to spend more company money on a rental car – all for a woman! But this man had a feeling. Not a guarantee. Not a solid sign from the universe. He just had a feeling that this woman was worth his efforts. And he was willing to do what he could to see if maybe there was something there for her, too.
The sweetest part of the story was when he told about the moment where he knew there was something between them. She reached out for his hand to let him smell the body lotion she was trying on her hand, and he that when she touched his hand, he felt something and he just knew. (How romantic is that!?!)
He shared how they went through the challenges of a long-distance relationship, had their ups and downs, and even broke up during the course of their relationship. But today, they are together and happily married with four children!
What was fascinating to me and my friend was how this man, who knew there were no guarantees about actually getting together with this woman was willing to do what he could to be with her. And the best part was that the woman in this love story didn’t have to do anything. She was just being herself. She didn’t have to say or do anything to get him to like her. He was attracted to her and who she was, and he figured out a way to be with her.
That’s why being your most natural, feminine self is one of the best ways to attract really great men into your life. Smile, flirt, and let who you are shine through. That’s how the man who is already looking for you will be able to recognize you so that he can walk across the room (or fly across the country) to come speak to you! That’s also why, if you are single and you haven’t already signed up for the “Meet Mr. Right-for-You” Video Training Series, I invite you to do that now! In this 3-part video series, you’ll learn more about how to meet more great men, have more fun while dating, and move past the excuses that are stopping you from having the love story your heart desires!
And, if you’re married or in a relationship, stay tuned, because your video series on how to create a love that lasts for a lifetime is coming soon! Make sure you’re subscribed to our newsletter list so that you can hear about when that series is released!
The Social Media Day Miami event was a huge success, both in and outside of the sessions! From the presenters, I left with some really great ideas on how to use social media to build my brand, reach more hearts, and make a bigger difference in the world. I was able to connect with new people and reconnect with friends I’ve grown to love (many of which our friendships began or have grown thanks to social media). And, in the hallways, I got a peek into the hearts of three men who were more than happy to share the love they have for their wives and families.
Yep! To me, that made for an incredibly successful day!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 27, 2013 | Dating, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Infidelity, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
How do we know what we are looking for in a relationship? Especially me, who had short lived relationship of 3 ½ months, how do I change? I know everyone tells me that it’s not me but it’s hard to believe it’s not me. They tell me I shouldn’t change for someone but I would think I would have to, because if I couldn’t make this short relationship work for only 3.5 months how will I ever have a lasting long term one?
The last serious relationship I had before this short one was over ten years ago and I caught him cheating and after that I just concentrated on my son getting him through high school and college so now I need to figure how to live and find someone I can offer something to God willing?
I can hear that you are frustrated and that you really do want to be in a relationship. I also hear that you’re not exactly sure what it is that you want to experience in a relationship.
I agree with your friends that you shouldn’t have to change who you are in order for someone to love you, because you – the essence of who you are – is who you want someone to fall in love with.
There are, however, thoughts, behaviors, and patterns that don’t serve us or stop us from having what it is that we want to experience, that we may need to change. The first step, however, is to address the question at the beginning of your email: How do we know what we are looking for in a relationship?
You mention having had your heart broken twice – once as a result of a betrayal, and the other after your last relationship. Having your heart broken is never easy, and it can seem even more painful when the heartache is due to someone betraying the trust we placed in them. I’ve also found that it’s not uncommon for women to focus on other things – their children, their careers, their hobbies and interests – as a way to avoid the possibility of having to experience that sort of heartache again.
The problem is that, if what your heart truly desires is to be in a relationship, even if you find pleasure and satisfaction in the other things you are focusing on, part of you may always feel unfulfilled, because you are not honoring that desire. The only way to truly feel fulfilled is to honor our truth and to be willing to take a risk – yes, even one that involves potential heartache – in order to experience what we truly want.
You ask how you can truly know what you want in a relationship. Many times, women will begin to list what it is they want to find in a man or the type of man with whom they want to be in a relationship. However, the love and happiness we seek will never be found in another person. That’s way too much responsibility and pressure to put on another human being who is already dealing with being responsible for his own happiness. Instead, what you want to focus on is how you want to feel within that relationship. What is the type of experience you’d like to have?
When you think about or envision yourself being in a “happy relationship,” what does that mean?
What does it feel like? What are the emotions you feel that let you know that you know that you know that this is it?
What does it look like? How do you relate to one another? What are the things you do that let both of you know that you are exactly where you’ve always dreamed you’d be inside of a relationship?
What does it sound like? What are the words that you speak and say to one another? How do you speak to one another? What’s the experience of speaking and being heard by one another like?
Really try to envision yourself in the type of relationship you dream of being in.
If you’re still not sure of what that dream relationship would be like, picture couples who you consider to be happy together. What do you notice when you observe them? What makes it seem like theirs is a good relationship?
Don’t rush to answer. Give it some thought. Many of us have not asked ourselves these types of questions, because we’re so focused on meeting him and on how he needs to look, be, and act that we don’t always think about what it is we’d like to create with him – whoever he is – once we attract him into our lives.
So, take your time, allow yourself to dream big, and then begin to live and be the qualities you’d like to see in your dream relationship so that you can attract someone who also wants to create that with you!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 21, 2013 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Relationship Advice, Romance, Sex
by Gladys Diaz
Gladys – How can I raise my self-esteem and so my future relationships are healthier and my standards are higher? I tend to start relationships and fall in love/care/get attached so quickly (although I hate to admit that) and it doesn’t matter whether the man is an appropriate mate or not. Most times I even know that he isn’t right or appropriate and think it’s ok because it’s just a “fling.” But, I always end up feeling very empty and rejected because it doesn’t pan out.
I would like to be brave enough to have high standards and also raise my self-esteem so all my relationships in life are improved upon. People don’t understand why I am single (I’m good looking, smart, nice, etc.), but I am weak when it comes to men and can let people take advantage because I am a pleaser. Any suggestions?
Becoming too attached to a man is not very uncommon when it comes to dating, particularly if we feel very attracted to him. Many times, that initial attraction or “chemistry” can lead us to want to make something that is just “a fling” or just “a date” into a relationship. Trying to force something to be what it is not can be exhausting and disappointing in the end.
There are several things that you can do to help raise your self-esteem and begin to create more healthy and fulfilling relationships:
- Be clear about what you want to experience in a relationship. Too often, women are so focused on simply being in a relationship that they forget about what they really want to experience in one. They focus on who or what the man needs to be like – the criteria he must meet physically, financially, and educationally – that, when they find a man who meets that checklist, they’ll do everything they can to try to make him “The One.” Rather than focusing on him and what he needs to do or be, focus on what you want to experience – how you want to feel when you’re in a relationship. When you focus on making the experience your priority, it will be crystal-clear to you when it’s time to walk away from a man that is not helping you create that experience.
- Avoid getting physically intimate before there is a commitment. This is especially important if what you desire is something more than just a fling. When you rush into sleeping with someone before you’re sure that he’s someone with whom you’d like to have that type of emotional and physical bond, you always risk getting hurt. Once those hormones kick in before, during, and after having sex, a bond is created and it’s almost impossible to see things clearly and as they actually are, rather than how we wish they would or could be. This bond will have you stay with a man much longer than you would if you had waited to see if he was someone in whom you felt safe and comfortable making that type of physical and emotional investment.
- Put your happiness first. No one is going to love you more than you love yourself. It’s important that you make yourself a priority even once you are in a relationship. This means that you take responsibility for your own happiness, rather than expecting a man to make you happy. It means that you are clear about what you want and deserve – which is to love and be loved fully and completely – so that you don’t settle for less. Stop referring to yourself as “weak” when it comes to men and remind yourself that you are fully at choice regarding what happens when it comes to men and relationship. You get to choose who to go out with. You get to choose how you allow yourself to be treated. And you get to make choices that honor what you want to experience in a relationship. No one can take advantage of you without you allowing it. So, remember that it’s okay to say that something doesn’t work for you and to move on if the other person isn’t willing to honor that.
We have a lot more power than we give ourselves credit for when it comes to dating and relationships. Take some time to look within yourself and see what it is that you want to experience in a relationship, what you are willing or not willing to compromise on regarding that experience, and begin putting yourself and your happiness first. That will boost your confidence and you will begin to attract men to you who are willing and ready to honor and create that experience with you!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
