One of our favorite parts of being relationship coaches is being able to help women through some of the difficult situations in their love lives.Many times, we are able to help a woman turn a difficult situation around in just a few minutes by helping her get clear about what is happening, help her set up some action steps, and then hold her accountable for completing those steps!
That’s why we are hosting a LIVE Love Q&A Call on Tuesday, June 23rd at 9:00pm ET!
On this call, we will be answering YOUR questions about love, dating, and relationships.
What’s causing you the biggest amount of pain right now in your love life?
Where do you feel “stuck” and unable to move forward in your love life?
What one question do you have that, if you had it answered, would help you move forward?
It takes courage to allow someone into your heart to help you break through the fear and pain that has been holding you back. Michelle and I promise to give you real steps that you can take to bust through those barriers and move forward, toward the life and love your heart desires!
To have your question answered on the call, please follow these simple steps:
Type your question in the “Question” box. Please be clear about the one thing you would like us to answer.
Set a reminder on your phone for Tuesday, June 23, 2015 at 9:00pm ET.
Be on the call ready to have a breakthrough!
Don’t have a question, but want to join us and hear the answers anyway? Click here to reserve your seat!
Whether you have a question or not, being on this call will be a powerful experience! You will learn relationship skills that will help you have a breakthrough in love!
Feel free to share this post with your friends so that they can join us, too!
P.S. What if one answer is all you need to leave the past behind and move toward the future and the love that are waiting there for you? Send us your question and register now!
This week my heart has been heavy. I’ve heard from three different women who have reached out to tell me that their marriages are ending. It’s heartbreaking for me to hear news like this. Marriage is such a sacred, precious union. When two people choose to join their lives because they love each other, they do it fully expecting the love that they feel for one another to grow stronger over the years. They do not get married hoping to hurt, disrespect, and kill the love they once felt for one another. I’m the first one to admit that having a wonderful marriage takes work. It’s a daily commitment to being my best self so that I can have the love, happiness, and peace in my marriage that envisioned when we first got married. It wasn’t always like this for us. We went through rough patches, just like every other couple. There were times when I wondered if we’d make it. I remember noticing that things were changing between us. I remember asking myself where the love, passion and fun we used to share had gone. We were arguing more often, rarely having fun together, and I carried my resentment like a badge of honor. We were not hugging, kissing, or sleeping together as often and there were many nights when I cried myself to sleep. Our marriage didn’t get to that point over night. There were signs along the way. Things had been getting bad for a while. And I silently prayed and hoped that things would change. One day I decided I couldn’t ignore what was happening any longer. I couldn’t just keep hoping and praying that things would get better. I knew I had to do something in order to transform who I was being so that I could help turn my marriage around. I began doing my inner work, sought out mentors and coaches who would help and hold me accountable, and began experiencing the inner shift that began having a very real effect on my marriage. It took some work and it didn’t happen overnight, but soon the constant arguing stopped. We were holding hands and smiling at each other again. We began laughing and kissing and making love again. My transformation helped transform my relationship and I began to see the man I’d fallen in love with in a whole new light! If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage (or you know someone who is), don’t ignore the signs. Don’t pretend you don’t see them, and certainly don’t think that things are just magically going to get better on their own. They won’t.
In today’s video I do something I rarely do because of how protective I am of the time I have with my family on the weekends. However, I’m really committed to making a difference, so I’m offering to talk with a few of you who are ready to begin turning your marriage around this weekend.
Now, here’s the deal.
There are thousands of women reading this email right now and I’m only opening a few spots, because I still want to spend time with my husband and kids. I also only have two spots available in my private coaching program. So, I’m asking that you reach out to me only if you are serious about investing in and doing the work you’ll need to do to turn your marriage around before it’s too late.
I’m not giving you the link to my calendar. If you want to speak with me this weekend, send me an email. It will be a first-come-first serve basis and I will let you know the times I have available, which will be mid-morning/early afternoon Eastern time.
I know in my heart that you don’t have to suffer and that by applying certain skills and practices you can transform your marriage. I’ve helped hundreds of women do this and I want to help you, too.
The signs are there and the time is now. If you’re ready to turn things around, hit reply and let’s talk!
I’ve been preparing and practicing my presentations for The Irresistible Woman Seminar today and I’ve been thinking of you non-stop! So I decided to cut a quick video for you and then right back to my work!
I can’t help that you keep coming to mind! Every time that I read a really powerful point or one of the heart-shifting exercises we are going to be doing this weekend, it makes me sad to think that may not be there!
I don’t know what has had you not sign up until now, but I do know one thing about you. The fact that you took the time to open the email and even read this far means that you know how committed Michelle and I are to providing you with the information that we know is going to make a difference in your love life and relationships!
How do I know that? Because you wouldn’t be a part of this community if you weren’t!
So, whatever has been stopping you from attending, I just want you to ask yourself if it really is something insurmountable, “unfixable,” or life-threatening.
If it’s not, then I’m going to ask you to do something I consistently invite my clients to do.
I invite you to be UN-reasonable!
That means I’m inviting you to stop letting your “reasons” stand in the way of having what you want!
Here’s the thing, when you really want something – a nice car or outfit, a vacation, or to reach a goal, you figure out a way to make it happen.
Family members might tell you not to do it.
Your friends may tell you you’re crazy to do it.
You may even question your own sanity.
But you do it. Because it matters to you.
If your love life matters to you, if you truly want to be in a relationship where you feel adored, and you know that you know that you are love, then I’m inviting you to put those reasons that are stopping you aside and join us for The Irresistible Woman Seminar.
It’s going to be at least a year until we have this event again.
Do you really want to keep putting your happiness, your dreams, and the love that you want on hold?
I hope not!
So, push past your excuses, be UN-reasonable and join us for a weekend that is going to have you put an end to the loneliness, frustration, and “suffering” you’ve been experiencing in love and relationships.
Time to bust another myth about why successful women can’t succeed in love!
If you read the previous blog post, you know that I touched upon another very common myth about how, in order to have a relationship, a successful woman will have to settle.
There is a pervasive belief that a successful woman will either have to settle for someone who is not as successful, someone she’s not that crazy about, or someone who’s not intimidated by her success.
All of these beliefs come from the fear of not being able to have it all – everything your heart desires. If you believe that what you want is “too much,” “too good to be true,” or “unrealistic,” then you’ll do one of two things: You’ll either try to minimize your desires, or you’ll make your expectations so insurmountable that there’s little chance of sharing your life with someone who is able to meet all of them.
Let me address minimizing your desires first.
One desire that successful women often deny is the desire to be in a loving relationship. They will say that they are perfectly happy alone – that they don’t need a man in their lives.
If they are single, they will put dating at the bottom of their very busy to-do list.
If they are in relationships, they begin to think that it’s better to move on alone than to try to make the relationship work.
First, it is important that you are happy with yourself and your life, whether or not you have a man to share it with. You’re 100% responsible for your own happiness, and a woman who is content with her life is confident and attractive.
However, if you do want to share your life with someone and you’re saying that you don’t because you’re afraid that you won’t find the right guy, it feels safer for you to be alone than to risk opening your heart to someone or to put effort into making the relationship work, then you’re not being real with yourself and that has a profound impact on how you experience life and love.
See, anytime you deny one of your heart’s desires, you are selling out on yourself – you’re denying what’s true for you.
When you do that, even if you have tons of success in other areas of your life, you will feel unfulfilled, because you won’t have what you really want. You are, in essence, being inauthentic with yourself. And, if you’re not being real with yourself, you won’t be able to be real with someone else and you will likely attract to yourself someone who is not authentic with you, either. (Prepare yourself for heartache.)
The second way you could sabotage your love life is by setting unrealistic expectations.
These expectations will either be about what the “perfect man” has to be like, do, or have, or what the “perfect relationship” must be like.
I often say, “Perfectionism is poison.” Expecting a person, situation or relationship to be perfect is setting yourself up to be disappointed.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you settle for just anyone. That would be another way of selling out on yourself and your desires. What it means is that you open yourself up to the possibility that you can have a happy, loving relationship with a man who doesn’t meet every point on your “Quality Assurance List” — a perfectly imperfect man.
Rather than focusing on all of the external characteristics a man must meet – height, weight, salary, car, home, etc. – focus on what you want to experience in the relationship, instead. Put your thoughts and intentions into how you want to feel in the relationship. This way, when you are out with a man, you are focused on you, instead of him. This also allows you to be open to meeting and getting to know more men, so that you increase your chances of meeting the right one.
If you are in a relationship, you can begin to let go of all of the expectations that are having you complain about, criticize, and trying to change your man. Instead, you can shift your focus from feeling disappointed to getting present to and appreciating the man he is and the qualities about him that had you fall in love with him in the first place! It also means learning the feminine skill of saying what would make you happy, rather than pointing out all of the things that don’t!
Many of these skills and practices don’t come easily to an independent woman, because it requires letting go of being in complete control and managing everything on your own. It means being okay with uncertainty and imperfection. It means acknowledging just how much you really do want to share your life with a man who will love and adore you, celebrate and share your success.
But these skills are necessary if you want to create a loving, intimate, passionate relationship where you get to be authentic with yourself and experience the love you truly want!
That’s why Michelle and I created The Irresistible Woman LIVE Event. We are committed to equipping successful women with the skills that will empower you to have the loving relationship you want.
You don’t have to settle for less than you truly want and deserve. You really CAN have it ALL! And we want to show you how!
During this 3-day immersive-learning event, you will discover:
The behaviors and skills that help propel you at work but repel love, connection, and partnership in a relationship
The steps you can take to create shift in yourself so that you can experience success in love
The keys to having the type of relationship you want and deserve
And so much more!
This is our way of saying thank you and honoring you for the commitment you are making to yourself and your love life!
Nothing would make us happier than to see you experiencing the success in love we KNOW you can have, so that we can celebrate it with you!
Join us and let’s start celebrating your success in love!
One of the biggest fears women I speak to have is that they are going to have to “settle” for less than they want or deserve.
The fear of having to settle for something or someone stems from a scarcity mindset that has you believe you can’t really have it all,that you want “too much,” and that “at least something is better than nothing.”
This fear of settling will impact the way you view and listen to people and situations, the way you approach dating and relationships, and the way you go about making your dreams come true.
Think about it.
If you’re feeling stuck in your love life, and there’s an underlying belief that you really can’thave the life, career, and the loving relationship that you want, how committedare you going to be to going after your dreams?
How willing will you be to push and break through the resignation, sadness and frustration that can show up when you’re not seeing the results that you want right away?
How is all of this fear and resignation showing up in your life today?
Are you in the relationship that you want?
If you are in a relationship, is it the happy, loving, and passionate you dreamed it would be?
Do you reallybelieve you can have the kind of relationship your heart desires?
If you’ve been living life inside of the fear that you’ll have to settle because you’re not going to get what you want anyway, it’s time to turn that thinking pattern around and start attracting into your life what youreally want!
What if youdidn’thave to settle? What if you really could haveeverythingyour heart desires?
Well, last week, our friend, Melissa Binkley and I hosted a teleclass where I shared how you can do just that!
If you didn’t join us on the call, I’m going to invite you to listen to the teleclass today and begin to shift that scarcity-based fear into an empowering and abundant-based reality!
And to prove how committed we are to you living from a space of abundance, we shared an incredible (CRAZY) offer with you that is only being made available to the women in our communities!
That’show committed we are to you having the success, health, happiness, and LOVE your heart desires!
So, listen to the teleclass, because the offer is about to expire (you’ll hear why on the call)!
De-Mythifying Common Myths About Why Successful Women Can’t Succeed in Love
I don’t usually like to rant or curse, but I absolutely have to call BS on this!
I am so tired of reading articles and hearing people talk about how successful, intelligent, strong women can’t find or keep love. Honestly, it’s like nails on a chalkboard to me!
Aside from the fact that it is a complete insult to women who are successful, strong, accomplished and in happy loving relationships, I don’t know if people realize just how damaging continuing to repeat that type of nonsense to yourself—and others— is!
Repeating limiting phrases like, “Men are intimidated by powerful women,”“Smart women have a hard time finding a man who won’t be threatened by them,” and “Successful women are better off being alone than being with a man who is’ beneath’ them,” perpetuates the very thing that successful women don’t want, which is to find themselves frustrated, lonely, and with no one with whom to share their success.
The truth is that there are men out there who are looking for, excited by, and attracted to women who are confident and successful! In fact, studies show that the thing men are most attracted to in a woman (besides her smile) is her confidence.
Now, are there men out there who might feel a little insecure about dating a woman is more successful than them?
Yes.
However, it’s also true that there are many men out there who would rather be with a woman who is ambitious, passionate, secure in herself and her abilities, and who also allows him the opportunity to contribute, love, and add to her happiness.
In the next few articles, I’ll be sharing five common misconceptions about successful women when it comes to love relationships, and what you can do to turn your limiting beliefs into powerful affirmations that will have you attract the type of love that you want into your life and continue to strengthen the love you already have in your relationship.
Myth #1: Men are intimidated by powerful women.
Truth: Men are intimidated by intimidating women.
As I mentioned before, confidence is very appealing to men. Few things are more attractive or alluring than a woman who is loves and accepts herself and acknowledges her value! When a confident woman steps into the room, there is a sense of self-assurance and fulfillment that draws people to her – not away from her.
What is intimidating, on the other hand, is arrogance. There is a very fine line between feeling confident about yourself and believing that who you are and the things you have achieved somehow make you better than someone else. This is repelling to both men and women alike.
Of course it’s fine to talk about the things you are proud of and the goals you have for the future. However, when sharing your accomplishments and accolades, be wary of coming across as arrogant and condescending.
Now, before you get upset about what I just said, hear me out.
There’s nothing wrong with letting a man know what your successes are, what you’ve accomplished, and what you’re up to in life, because ultimately, what you want is to share those successes with him.
What you don’t want to do, whether it’s on a date or with your romantic partner, is to have your message come across as “I’ve got this all handled by myself and don’t need or want anyone or anything else – including you – to add to the success and happiness in my life.”
The bottom line is that men want to feel needed. They want to know that even if you’ve got an amazing life, there’s something they can add to it to make it even better.
This doesn’t make men “needy” or “insecure,” any more than wanting to be loved and desired make us women “needy” or “insecure.” Men and women are simply wired differently, and part of making a relationship work means understanding and accepting those differences and doing what we can to give one another what each wants and needs.
So, the next time you’re sharing with a man your goals, accomplishments, and the things you love about yourself, remember to share in such a way that you are also extending an invitation to share those successes with him, should he be interested in being part of your extraordinary life!
Even better… If you’re a successful, professional woman who wants to experience success in both your love life and your career, grab your ticket forThe Irresistible Woman LIVE Event while you can still get them for the Early Bird price!
In the next article, I’ll be de-mythifying Myth #2: Successful women have to settle for someone less successful than them.
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