Relationship - Heart's Desire Intl

How to Stop Rushing Relationships

by heartsdesireintl | Jan 22, 2021 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Question for you…

Do you tend to rush into relationships?

In our work with women all over the world, there is something that comes up frequently.

No matter where they’re from, how old they are, and what they’re life experience in love has been – they all say the same thing:

They have a tendency to rush into relationships.

Do you have this pattern, too?

Do you find yourself wondering, after just a date or two, when he’s going to make it official?

Do you rush to meet his close friends and family?

Do you stop dating other men the minute you start to like someone?

Do you rush to move in together?

Do you feel like you want to marry him before you’re even officially in a relationship?

We know that when you meet someone you’re attracted to and enjoy spending time with, that there’s a natural tendency to want to be with them… a lot, to dream about what could happen, and that this triggers the desire to want to move fast.

The thing is that there’s this beautiful phase in the beginning of a relationship, and when you rush, you cheat yourself out of those special feelings and experiences that only happen then.

The other, even more important thing, is that when you go too fast, you miss the opportunity to really get to know someone and can end up missing red flags.

While dating, you want to be aware and awake. You want to notice the things that he does, learn about him and who he is, and be curious about what being with him is like.

You want to take the time to really get to know someone before you jump into a relationship, because the physical chemistry can be there, but if the character of the man isn’t aligned with the kind of relationship you want to have, then it won’t work.

The fact is that after just one or two dates, you don’t know if this is the relationship of your dreams. Knowing that takes time.

So, what has women rush into relationships?

Fear.

You may be afraid that if it doesn’t work with him, it’s never going to happen.

You may be worried that if you wait too long, you won’t be able to have kids.

Or maybe you think that he’ll get bored and move on if you don’t “catch him” fast.

How do you shift out of this fear?

Turn the attention and focus back to you. Stop wondering so much about whether or not he likes you, and think about the experience you’re having with him and if it truly aligns with the kind of experience you want to have for the next 20, 40, 60 years..
Don’t get attached too quickly. Continue to date other people until you’re in a committed relationship. It’s heartbreaking when women invest too much of themselves too soon, only to find out that it’s not the right match. Give yourself the gift of getting to know multiple people at the same time so you don’t start feeling desperate or get too emotionally attached to someone too soon..
Think about what you’re learning about the men you’re dating. What is the quality of the conversations you have? Do you laugh and have fun together? Do you have common interests and enjoy being together? The more curious you get, the more motivated you are to let things play out and get to know him gradually.

Remember that feelings are fleeting. You need to give yourself (and him as well) time to really get clear and be sure that what you’re experiencing together is aligned with the relationship of your dreams.

If you tend to rush into relationships or get attached to a man too quickly and you’d like support with uncovering the fears driving these patterns, we’d love to talk to you! Click the link below to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

You get to keep standing for the love you want and not let fear or desperation have you slip into rushing into a relationship that isn’t what you really want.

Don’t let fear get in the way.

Take your time and know that the time you put into getting to truly know someone at the beginning will pay out in dividends later in the form of years of happiness in a relationship, as well as stop you from experiencing unnecessary heartbreak and disappointment.

Trust the process and know that the love you want is already looking for and coming to you!

How to Make Your Love Life a Priority

by heartsdesireintl | Jan 15, 2021 | Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz

Are you making your love life a priority?

Here we are at the beginning of a new year and, we’re willing to bet that you’ve listed your love life as one of your top priorities for 2021.

That’s great!

Now, what are you actually doing about it?

What actions are you taking to make sure that you start creating the love you want now?

The truth is that if you aren’t seeing the results you want to see in your love life, then your commitment is actually somewhere else.

Even if you’ve got a vision board created, you’ve set some goals, and your vision statement is written out; if you’re not taking committed action on this goal, it’s not going to happen.

And we get it. When you’re a highly driven woman, you have goals and you’re used to hitting them, it can be frustrating and tiring when you’re not seeing success in your love life.

So what do you usually do?

You focus on something else. Something you think you have more control over and feel more confident in.

Or you pretend that you don’t want to be in a relationship, that it’s not important to you, or that you’re 100% okay being single.

But here’s the thing…

There’s never going to be a better time to get committed to your love life.

If you’re waiting until that big project is complete, until you finish school, until your kids grow up, until you lose the weight,until you’re 100% healthy and have everything figured out…

it’s never going to happen.

One of the saddest things for us to hear from women who say they’ve been waiting 15, 20, 48 years to create the love they want. They never thought they’d be waiting that long, and can’t believe how much time has passed.

We want you to have the relationship of your dreams NOW!

We know that creating an extraordinary love and life requires making it a priority!

So how do you do that?

How do you make creating the love you want a priority in your already full, busy, and beautiful life?

Distinguish what’s most important to you.

What are the top five priorities in your life? Community? Friends? Family? Work? Home? Yoga? Health? Is your love life one of those top 5?

Ask yourself why those things matter to you.

Getting clear on why something is important to you, helps motivate you to put the time and energy into creating what you want to see.

Ask yourself why creating an incredible relationship is important to – and why is that important to you – and why is that important?
Keep going deep with yourself and getting to the heart of what you really want and why you really want it is critical to making sure you realize your goals!

Decide what actions you will commit to taking to move the needle forward.

What actions will you take daily, weekly and monthly to create progress in your love life? Aligning your actions with your priorities is the key to creating what you desire.

Once you have these things laid out – you should start feeling more aligned with yourself and your goals. You’ll start to see shifts in what you’re creating and what you’re attracting into your life.

If you’re still having a hard time – get curious about what’s getting in the way?
What’s in the gap between being clear with yourself about what you want?

If you’d like support with getting clear on what you really want, what’s stopping you from having that, and you want guidance in determining the actions that will help you most in creating the relationship of your dreams, then we want to talk to you!

Book a Love Breakthrough session with one of our coaches. They can’t wait to talk to you and help you start to put your priorities in order and begin creating the life and love your heart desires!.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

How to Create More Intimacy With Your Man

by heartsdesireintl | Nov 30, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

Let me ask you a couple of questions:

How much connection and intimacy do you feel in your relationship?
How effective is your communication?

Did you know that communication and intimacy are 100% linked in a relationship?

Communication is key! You can have all the love in the world, and if you don’t know how to communicate effectively, then the relationship simply will not work.

98% of the coaching we do is around communication.

Why? Because it’s one of the most important aspects of any relationship (and it begins when you’re dating!).

99% of divorces and break-ups happen because root issues in a relationship never get resolved because the couple doesn’t know how to communicate clearly, effectively, and in a way that BOTH partners feel heard and understood.

Let me paint the picture for you of how this happens. I’m sure you’re going to be able to relate.

Do you ever have the experience when you’re talking to your partner that you’re not even sure whether you’re having the same conversation?

I remember before Ric and I learned the tools we teach now — sometimes it would feel like we were so far from being on the same page that it was like we weren’t even in the same room!

We were both so committed to being right that we weren’t even listening to each other.

We would be talking about something completely innocent, like what bread we like to buy, and then I would say something, Ric would say something different, which made me feel like he didn’t hear or understand what I said.

So, I’d say it again, but louder this time, and he still wouldn’t understand, and, before we knew it, we were yelling at each other, saying things we didn’t mean, being disrespectful, and hurting each other.

And then we wouldn’t talk for two or three days.

Well, we would talk a little, but it would be what I like to call the “caveman’s grunt.” I would ask Ric a question and he would give me a one-syllable or one-word answer under his breath, to let me know that he didn’t want to talk to me. (Ugh!)

Sound familiar?

That’s how break-ups and divorce happen.

Arguments start over silly (or sometimes important) things, the communication breaks down, and soon you’re arguing about something completely unrelated.

Then the silent treatment begins, and the real problem never gets resolved.

So, do you want some real communication tools?

Do you want to stop getting frustrated with your spouse, getting angry and then reacting instead of responding thoughtfully and intentionally?

Do you want to know what to say so that when your spouse says, “What did you say?” instead of repeating the same words louder, you can respond in a way that will make you feel understood and heard (and loved)?

Do you want to know how to utilize your intention, tone and body language in your communication to increase love and intimacy?

These are just a few of the things you’ll learn inside our Black Friday Special, the New Year New Love Bundle!

Grab the New Year, New Love Bundle Now!

We are passionate about supporting women to communicate effectively because we know personally the painful consequences poor communication can have on a relationship.

We want you to have all the tools that will have you communicate in a way that has you create the love, connection and intimacy you desire with your partner! .

Click here to amp up the intimacy in your relationship!

Tip: This offer goes away TODAY, so act now.

How to Stop Meeting Mr. Wrong and Meet Mr. Right, Instead!

by heartsdesireintl | Nov 20, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Are you ready to meet the right man?

The man who’s not only good for you and to you, but also someone who you feel magic with?

One thing we hear from women consistently is that they find themselves in one of two scenarios… Let’s see if you can relate.

Scenario One: You keep attracting men into your life who aren’t good for you. They’re the “bad guys” who don’t show up, only want sex, aren’t looking for commitment, or ghost you after the first date (if you even make it to a date!).

There’s chemistry and connection, but, obviously, these interactions aren’t going anywhere.

The problem with this scenario is that these women start to believe that all men are like this, and they lose faith in dating and their ability to attract a different kind of man.

Can you relate?

What about this one.

Scenario Two: You attract good men into your life – men of integrity and honor. Men who are seeking out the same loving, passionate, committed relationship they are and are ready to create that now.

Sounds great right?

The problem with scenario two is that you often don’t feel a connection with these men. There’s no chemistry, and even though you’re glad that you’re attracting the good men, you still can’t seem to attract the right one… The man you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with.

Do you see yourself in either of those scenarios?

Are you tired of meeting man after man, but never having it turn into the loving, passionate, committed relationship you really want?

If so, you want to ask yourself – “Why am I attracting this into my life?”

Get curious. Is it a pattern?

What are the common denominators?

How do you get to shift?

After I got divorced, I was dating lots of men who all had the same problems. They were either addicted to something, in a relationship with another woman, and/or had some kind of drama constantly surrounding them.

I was getting so frustrated, because I felt like I was dating the same man over and over again in a different body!

One day I was telling a coach and mentor about my frustration, and, after he listened patiently, he asked me, “What do all of these men have in common?”

Without even thinking, I responded with, “They’re all liars cheaters, and they don’t know what they want!”

He asked, “Okay, what else?”

After a few more minutes of trying to answer his questions and getting more and more frustrated by the minute, I finally exclaimed, “Just tell me what you’re seeing, because I’m not seeing it!”

He said, “The only thing these five strangers have in common is you. You are the common denominator.”

Well, of course that isn’t what I wanted to hear. But once I let it sink in, I knew he was right. I knew that there was that was having me be attracted to and attracting this kind of man into my life.

I’d had enough of this. I was ready to make a change.

That’s when I really began my journey of doing the Heartwork and getting underneath this pattern to see what it was that I needed to heal and shift within myself.

Once I did that, everything shifted.

We often say that “happy enough is not good enough”!

We’re committed to extraordinary love.

The type of love that feels magical and takes your breath away.

The type of love that has you feeling on top of the world and like you can do anything.

The type of love that is just that – extraordinary.

It starts with attracting the right man. And that starts with you.

Please join us tomorrow, Saturday, November 21st for the Attract the Right Man Webinar, where we’ll be diving into how to break this painful pattern once and for all!

In this 3-hour masterclass, you will:

Learn what to STOP doing so that you can stop being attracted to and attracting the wrong man into your life
Discover what to START doing instead, so that you start attracting the kind of man who wants to create a happy, loving, committed relationship with you
Apply the steps and practices that will have you experience dating and relationships differently because you will be attracting and getting to know a completely different kind of man!

Click here to say “YES!” to Attracting the RIGHT Man into Your Life!

Whether you find that you keep attracting and dating “good guys” who are nice enough, but you simply don’t feel a connection with, OR you keep bringing in the same “bad guy” in a different body, we’re going to show you how to break this pattern and bring in the RIGHT man — the one who will honor you, cherish you, and love you for the rest of your life!

It’s time for you to attract the RIGHT man now!

Are You Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop?

by heartsdesireintl | Oct 2, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Forgiveness, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

How do you keep the love growing?

How do you keep the relationship from going stale?

How do you keep your marriage from getting complacent, too comfortable, or boring?

There is something we hear a lot from women. A very common concern is “Things are great now, but what happens when _________ (you fill in the blank).”

How do you not just create a relationship, but a long-lasting relationship that gets better and better with time?

We find that women who have this concern are waiting for the other shoe to drop — even when things are going well. They have a fear – whether it’s that they’re afraid he’s not trustworthy, that they’ll eventually fall into old habits and ruin things, or they’re sure there’s something wrong with him that they just haven’t seen yet – and it’s causing them to sabotage their relationships over and over again.

The problem when you are in this cycle of waiting for something to go wrong is that your focus is on what isn’t going to work, versus what’s right and going well in the present .

See if this sounds familiar…

One of our past clients found herself in this pattern. After years and years of dating, she finally found herself in the relationship of her dreams. She had met a wonderful man, and they had an incredible time together. He would fly to see her and pay to fly her out to visit him. Things were going wonderfully, and he was starting to initiate conversations about where they wanted to take the relationship next. EEEEE – exciting!

One weekend, he flew out to see her and she found herself acting strange. She could feel herself pulling away and trying to withdraw, and when he would ask what was wrong, she would respond like most women do by saying, “Nothing!”

Well, he was persistent with asking her what was going on, and eventually she told him that she could feel herself pulling away because she was waiting for something to go wrong. – How could things actually be this good?

Instead of being overjoyed and in the moment about how wonderful things were for her then, she was worried about what might happen to ruin things in the future.

Have you ever experienced yourself doing something similar?

This pattern of behavior is so detrimental and destructive to relationships, because when men are having to constantly defend themselves against things they aren’t doing, or feel like they’re paying the price for men who came before them, they get exhausted by it, and the love and intimacy starts to chip away.

When you have a history of bad relationships or trauma from your childhood, you often spend time and energy in your current relationship looking for that same history to repeat itself as a way to prepare yourself for what may happen.

The thing is, if you go into a relationship, even with the perfect man, doing this, you will sabotage it.

So, how does this show up for you?

Does it show up like it did for this client, where you pull away when things are going well?

Do you always feel like you have to do something to either “fix” the situation or the person you’re dating?

Do you create drama in your relationship so that you can feel the dips of things going badly in order to feel the high that comes with things being good again?

Here’s how you can recognize when you’re in the pattern of drama or looking for things to go wrong in our relationship:

You’re telling someone about something that isn’t working in your life and they give you a solution, and you respond with a “Yeah, but…!”

Someone presents a solution to you, and you follow-up with yet another problem that needs to be solved..

No matter how well things are going, you don’t allow yourself to enjoy the good times because you are preparing yourself for the impending doom that is on its way.

Recognizing this pattern is one of the first steps in the Heartwork that we teach, so that you can start training yourself to experience happiness and joy. Getting to a place where you understand that “peace” does not equal “boring” is a great place to begin.

Here’s the truth: Life comes with enough challenges that you don’t want or need to u create more of them.

We often hear the phrase, “Hard times are part of being in a relationship,,” and that makes us cringe! Yes, hard times come sometimes. That’s part of life. But hard times are not a requirement in a relationship.

Our goal is for every one of our clients to experience joy, love, and excitement in a relationship and to know that those can come on an ordinary day simply because you’re together.

If you’re looking for more ways to break this pattern of drama and expecting bad things to happen in your relationship, please join us tomorrow for our Reignite the Spark Masterclass !

This 3-hour event is for every woman who is looking to make her relationship, partnership, or marriage the best that it’s ever been. We want to help you take things to the next level to experience even more love, excitement and joy in your life and relationship than ever before.

Click HERE to register NOW!

Marriage doesn’t have to be hard or get boring., Feeling peaceful and comfortable with your partner is a good thing. And just because you’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean the passion has to fade.

When I’m sitting on my couch and I look over at Ric and my boys, I think “This is it! This is what joy feels like! This is what I was waiting for!”

That’s what we want for you, too, NAME!!

Join us tomorrow for Reignite the Spark!

How to Overcome the Fear of Getting Hurt

by heartsdesireintl | Sep 29, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Infidelity, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

Do you have a fear that you will be hurt or rejected?

If you don’t, you must be superhuman, because as human beings, we all deal with this!

The real question is: Is that fear running the show?
Is that fear causing you to hold back in relationships or keeping you from creating one altogether?

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, this message is for you!

It’s a common misconception that, once you get into a relationship, that fear of rejection or of getting hurt goes away, but that’s just not true. The fear of hurt or rejection can be holding you back from creating deep, intimate connection, either way.

Here’s how it works.

You have fears that something will or won’t happen in the future because of something that did or didn’t happen in the past.

Fear is running the show if it causes you to react in a certain way that is a coping mechanism for not getting hurt.

This may look like withdrawing from your partner or pulling back.

It may look like being paralyzed and feeling like you can’t do or say anything because of your fear that it will go badly.

It may look like pretending, acting as if everything is fine, when, actually, you’re feeling scared inside.

Here’s how it looks for me.

My previous marriage was not a happy marriage. The relationship brought out the worst in me and I was often critical, loud, snappy and impatient.

I remember how I would feel every time I’d come home and put the key up to the door to open it. Each time, I would stop and feel my chest tighten as I wondered what I was about to encounter on the other side of the door. I’d just hope that today might be a good day.

My fear of being alone caused me to stay in that unhappy relationship. I would stay quiet and pretend that everything was fine, and then I couldn’t really understand what was real and what I really wanted.

Fast forward to now.

I’m in an extremely happy and fulfilling relationship, but I’m still human. So during times when I may be sleep deprived or extra busy, those qualities of being critical, snappy or impatient can come out and my fear rears its ugly head.

My fear is that if I allow those qualities that I don’t like in myself to come out – and sometimes they do – then I won’t be loved or I’ll begin to recreate the relationship I had with my ex.

Your fear may be feeling like your feelings won’t be validated, fearing you’ll be used or get hurt.

When fear is running the show you feel powerless, and that’s not the way we want you to feel!!

So how do you overcome these fears?

First, you need to recognize it and acknowledge it.

What is it that you’re afraid of that’s stopping you from having the relationship you want to have?

Your fear is impacting you whether you acknowledge it or not, so you might as well bring it to light.

Then ask yourself:- If I was standing outside this fear and standing in my power, who would I be that would allow me to make a different choice?

When I recognize myself in the space where those undesirable qualities come out and I feel the fear coming to the surface, I ask myself that question.

I acknowledge the fear and step forward to own it. I take responsibility for anything I may have said to Arnie that I didn’t really mean, and I apologize so that I don’t go back to allowing that old fear running the show and hurt my relationship.

I know that I’m a powerful woman, and that I get to choose how I feel and behave. When I apologize, I open up the space in our relationship for intimacy and love to be present again.

The truth is: You can either be run by your fears or run by your ability to choose a different experience. You get to choose.

It can take a little bit of effort to get to the bottom of these fears, which is why we’re so excited to invite you to the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want to overcome their fears in love once and for all is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

We’ve changed the dates to October 23rd-25th, and this year, it’s going to be better than ever!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Once you transform something, you don’t go back to it. Take this opportunity for yourself to overcome the fears that are holding you back in love and relationships!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

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