by heartsdesireintl | Jan 30, 2015 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
This week I’ve been thinking a lot about change.
Many of our clients are experiencing the growing pains that come with making real changes in their lives. The kinds of changes that lead to true transformation.
It’s easy to forget that change – even when it’s “good change” – can feel uncomfortable. In fact, at times, it can feel downright painful.
Transformation is a process.
It requires letting go of what’s become familiar – what we’re used to – and taking on new beliefs, behaviors and ways of being.
It involves being willing to try something new – something that brings with it the promise of new – or renewed – love.
Transformation requires courage.
It involves having the courage to hope that things can improve and turn out differently, without knowing exactly what that final outcome will be or look like.
My favorite symbol of transformation is the butterfly.
A butterfly is so beautiful and delicate. She flutters from one place to another with such grace and ease.
To see her in all of her splendor, it’s easy to forget that that she wasn’t always that beautiful, graceful being.
At one point she was a small, fuzzy, worm-like thing. Not necessarily something that inspired awe or wonder.
To get to this beautiful stage, the butterfly had to be willing to transform herself from the inside out.
She had to be willing to be uncomfortable. She had to be willing to go through the pain and then release herself from what had been keeping her captive!
It’s the same with you, my beautiful butterfly-in-the-making.
To make changes so that you can experience the happy, loving, passionate relationship you have always wanted, you’re going to have to go through some changes.
You’re going to have to be willing to be courageous.
You’re going to have to be willing to let go of and release yourself from the beliefs, fears, and behaviors which do not serve you and are not giving you the results that you want.
It won’t always be easy.
There will be times when you’ll wonder if it’s just easier to stay inside of your cocoon of fear, doubt, pain and resentment.
And it might seem like it for a while, but staying there will not allow you to break free, spread your wings and experience and enjoy the love and happiness that are waiting for you on the other side!
I invite you to break through the resistance and resignation and embrace the life and love that are your birthright.
It’s time to break free and spread your wings so that you can discover the love that is already waiting for you!
If you’re ready, we’re here to help guide you in becoming the beautiful butterfly you were created to be!
Comments? Question? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Dec 15, 2014 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
The other day, I had a meltdown… and not a little one, either! I had a full-blown meltdown at the bottom of the stairs in my home like I haven’t had in years!
I’d had a pretty busy day scheduled, and I ended up having to add two additional activities to my list – including having some materials printed that I’d stayed up all night creating, picking them up, and then braving a 3-hour round trip in rush hour traffic with my two kids to deliver the materials in time for an event.
As tired as I was, I was also feeling pretty proud of myself for having accomplished even the unexpected events with grace and ease. I proudly showed my husband the materials I’d had printed and, in less than 2 seconds, he noticed that I’d left out a critical piece of information! That was it – the proverbial last drop in my overflowing bucket! I crumpled into a puddle of tears at the bottom of my staircase, completely frustrated, and just sobbed.
Immediately, my husband rushed over to console me. He held me and, as he often does, began giving me solutions, offering ways in which I could “fix” the problem. Years ago, I would have gotten angry at him for trying to fix things. This time, all I could do was keep crying because none of the ideas he was offering sounded viable at that moment.
A few minutes later, my older son came over and held me in his arms. He reminded me that it wasn’t so bad and that I was a great mother. He said he was sorry I was so sad and that he wished he could fix the problem for me.
Once he went up the stairs, my little one came with tears in his eyes. Bravely, he said, “Mama, just think about all of the good things in your life and you’ll feel better.” Then he hugged me tightly and left the room.
As I sat there, still in tears, a smile made its way across my face.
See, my three guys aren’t used to seeing me in that state. Usually, I’m pretty positive, find ways to problem-solve, and am the one encouraging them.
On that day, however, they were there for me. Each of them, in his own way, gave me exactly what I needed – love and the belief that everything would be okay!
In the midst of my vulnerability, what was sparked in them was the desire to protect me and let me know that they were there for me.
You may believe, as many people do, that vulnerability is a sign weakness. You may see it as something that opens you up to being hurt by another. While that may be true in some instances, what vulnerability does is that it opens the doorway to intimacy. It allows others to connect with you in a way that simply isn’t possible when you’re being guarded and holding people at arms’ length.
For men, vulnerability ignites in them the desire to protect us. It has them step up and be our heroes. It allows them to connect with us on a real level – a gut level.
To be clear, vulnerability doesn’t mean you have to be in tears, like I was. It just means letting your guard down long enough to let someone in and be there for you. It means allowing him to see who you really are so that he can connect with you, because, without vulnerability, there is no room for intimacy.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget that day – not because of all of the things that got accomplished or the things that went wrong. I think what I’ll always remember is how incredibly loved and cherished I felt on that day; how safe I felt knowing that my three guys were there for me; and how happy I felt knowing that, not only am I not doing so badly at this wife-and-mom-thing, but that my boys have an amazing example of how to be a loving man in their father.
And, when I think about all of these good things, as my little one suggested I do, all I feel is blessed!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 17, 2014 | Dating, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever had one of those moments when you feel like you are exactly where you were meant to be?
Last week was like that for me!
I spent the first part of the week in California with one of my mentors and her coaches, and then spent the last part of the week attending a very intensive 3-day business workshop where I had incredible personal breakthroughs.
I just love transformation, don’t you?
During both events, I had the opportunity to listen to amazing women share about their personal journeys of how they came to where they are now in their lives, relationships, and businesses. With each interaction, I was able to connect with them on very personal level and share some of my heart with them, as well.
Some of the stories I heard this week were heart-breaking.
I met women who had lost everything due to natural disasters and unforeseen circumstances and had to rebuild their lives.
I spoke to women who had hit a wall in their love lives and, with coaching, were able to turn their relationships completely around.
I met women who are still experiencing the dark part of their journeys, but who were committed to working on transforming those areas of their lives.
I saw women break through their fears right in front of my very eyes!
All of these women – from different parts of the world, economic situations, and life circumstances – shared one thing in common: The unwillingness to stay stuck where they were.
Some may call that perseverance, tenacity, or determination. I call it the Essence of who we are as women.
There is something that lies within the core of our Selves – some refer to it as our spirit, or soul – that we are equipped with, which makes us able to experience pain and resolve to move forward with grace and strength.
If you are in one of those dark moments in your life –
If your relationship is falling apart and you don’t know where or how to begin to turn it around…
If you are frustrated with dating and are close to wanting to give up (or you already have)…
If you are feeling lost, lonely, and afraid all the time and long to love and be loved…
I want you to know that you are not alone.
No matter what it is you are going through, there is love, peace, and freedom on the other side of this! It may not seem like it now, but I promise you – because I have been through my own dark valleys when it comes to love – that you can experience more love, joy, and fulfillment than you can imagine!
It will take some work to get there, and some of it won’t be “easy,” but, as I said, you won’t be alone.
As we approach the end of 2014, take an inventory of your love life. Ask yourself:
- Is my love life everything I want it to be?
- Even if things are “good” or “okay,” is there another level of love and intimacy I’d like to discover?
- If my love life is not what I want it to be, am I willing to take a courageous step forward and do the inner and outer Heart Work to shift that and begin seeing my heart’s desires fulfilled?
These are questions only you can answer. Only you know what’s really going on in your heart.
Whatever your answers to these questions, I’m happy to help you walk through any of them, if you’re ready. I truly am here to serve and support you, and my commitment is that you actually begin to see your heart’s desires fulfilled. Just click here to set up a time to talk.
by heartsdesireintl | Sep 19, 2014 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
This month I have had the privilege of attending two informative and inspiring business conferences especially for women. Usually, at these events, the majority of the speakers are women who have reached high levels of success, so I was pleasantly surprised and excited to hear from five multimillionaire men who were sharing their secrets to success with us
But it’s what they shared that really caught me by surprise!
See, I was thinking they were going to tell us all about the steps they took to start a business, market themselves, and catapult their businesses into the millions. Instead, every single one of them told us the story of how difficult it was for them at the beginning, how they failed over and over again, and how one thing kept them going and believing in themselves through the darkest times: The support and trust of the women they loved!
Without fail, each of the men shared how, right when he was about to give up on himself and his dreams, his wife said the one thing that made the difference and had him make the decision to do whatever it took to succeed:
“I trust and believe in you.”
Now, granted, saying those words is a lot easier when the man you love is doing well, achieving success, and getting results.
But how do you find the strength and courage to authentically say that, even when all signs are pointing to failed attempts, one disappointment after another, and a lack of results?
- You remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. It can be easy to forget just how much you admired him and the greatness you saw in him when you first fell in love. It’s easier to allow your fears, doubts and disappointments to cloud the vision of who the man you love really is. However, if you can bring yourself back to remember what it was that had you decide that this man is the man who, at one time in your life, you were 100% certain you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, it makes it a whole lot easier to believe in him, because his courage, determination, and whatever other characteristics that drew you to him are still there! You just have to look more closely to see them.
- You stand next to him with unwavering trust. Our fears are sneaky things. They will convince us beyond a shadow of a doubt that things can’t change, that the worst-case scenario is inevitable and that we must protect ourselves and survive danger at all costs. Whether the fear you are experiencing during the difficult times is based in a fear of scarcity (not having your needs met), fear of abandonment, or a fear of being taken advantage of (especially if you’re having to work a little harder during those difficult times), feeling afraid and uncertain about the future can trigger that “fight-or-flight” response that can have you either complaining, criticizing, or chipping away at your man’s spirit, or wanting to run away and leave everything (including him) behind. It takes courage to trust him. It takes courage to trust that things will get better. And, most of all, it takes courage to trust in yourself and know that you made the right choice when you chose to love him!
- You speak words that lift him up, rather than tear him down. There may be times when your fear, sadness, and disappointment feel like they are getting the best of you. You may think that telling him and reminding him about what he needs to do will get him to do it. You may think that criticizing, questioning, or correcting his decisions will make him want to change. You may think that pointing out everything you feel he is doing wrong or should be doing differently will lead to different results. The truth, however, is that, if you want him to rise above the circumstances, you need to raise him up with your words.
True, your man is completely responsible for his own happiness and for the choices he makes. However, never underestimate the influence you have on him and how he comes to see and know himself. He sees himself and what he’s capable of through your eyes, and way you see him can either tear him down or lift him up. It can either discourage and deter or encourage and inspire him to new heights!
So, what does your man see when he looks into your eyes?
Does he see cynicism, doubt, and shame, or does he see trust, faith, and love?
If you have been tearing your man down out of your own fears and frustrations, the good news is that every moment gives us an opportunity to choose differently.
So, what will you choose to do and say today to help inspire your man to greatness?
Because, when it’s all said and done and he’s finally made it to the top, guess who he’s going to make sure is up there with him?
Let us know what you’re going to do today to inspire your man to greatness in the comments below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 31, 2014 | Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love, Sex
by Gladys Diaz
The other day, Michelle and I had a very powerful interview with Bill Weil for his “Conscious Couples Conversation” program.
In this interview, we dove deep and talking about some of the most common questions we get asked when it comes to relationships, including:
- The higher purpose of relationships
- The difference between how men and women define and experience love and respect
- The natural power women have to create and transform relationships
- The most common mistakes women make in relationships
- The essential ingredients for having a loving, intimate relationships
- The 3 R’s for keeping the love alive in your relationship
- How to have win-win arguments
And a lot more, including:
- An interesting story about the “twin connection” Michelle and I share
- How Michelle and I work together to coach women
- A beautiful excerpt from Michelle and Arnie’s wedding vows (so moving!)
Whether you are single or in a relationship, you will walk away from listening to this interview with a HUGE amount of information and inspiration for creating a loving, intimate, relationship!
Click the image below to listen to this POWER-FULL conversation!
Comment? Question about the interview? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
