Heart's Desire Intl | heartsdesireintl

The Key to True Love

by heartsdesireintl | Aug 21, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Ready to Love Again, Self-Love, Successful Women

by Gladys Diaz

What is the key to true love?

Many women think it lies in finding the right person or having a perfected list of qualities you’re looking for in a partner.

Some think it’s about where or how you meet the person, while others think the key is in “divine timing.”

What we’ve found from working with women of every age, from many countries, and all backgrounds is that there is one thing that truly separates the women that create the loving, intimate, long term relationship they desire and those that don’t.

The key to creating true love with another person is creating true love within yourself first.

Now, we’re not talking about self-care, though we do encourage doing all the things that fill you up and nourish your soul.

Self-love is deeper.

Self-love is about the relationship you have with yourself.

It’s the things you say about and to yourself.

It’s feeling comfortable with the most intimate parts of who you are.

It’s the beliefs you hold about yourself.

It’s the way you trust who you are and how you feel.

It’s loving and accepting every part of you, even the parts of you you’re afraid others may not like.

It’s bringing forgiveness and acceptance to your past.

True self-love creates confidence, trust and the ability to create the things you most deeply desire.

This is important whether you are single, in a relationship, or in a relationship that isn’t everything you hoped it would be, because the relationship you have with yourself will be reflected in the relationships you create with other people.

Do you have any resistance coming up around this?
Do you doubt that this could really be what’s missing from creating what you want in your life?

If so, you’re not the only one. It’s easier to point outside of yourself for why things aren’t working the way you’d like to in your life. It’s much harder to look inward and be responsible for what you’re experiencing and creating in your relationships and in your life.

And, if you don’t have the skills to know how to turn things around it can be a terrifying and frustrating place to be. We get that.

We also know that knowing exactly what to do and how to do it brings incredible amounts of confidence, joy, and empowerment, because the relationship you have with yourself is the ONE thing you have total control over.

Everything starts with you.
And that’s GREAT news!

When I was in the midst of my own self-love mission, everything in my life looked perfect on the outside. I had the job, I had great kids, I traveled with my girlfriends, and I was dating a lot — though none of those dating experiences ever went very far.

Men would always tell me that I had an amazing life and was an amazing woman, but that they knew they just couldn’t give me what I wanted.

I felt so confused and wondered why.If my life was so awesome, how could I still come home at night and feel so miserable and lonely and alone?

Once I did the HeartWork I realized that all I wanted was someone to validate that I was lovable, when what I really needed was to create that love inside myself first.

Recognizing that belief, uncovering where it came from, and creating something different within myself was such a transformative experience that it’s literally why we started doing the work that we do.

We want every single woman to create the love and relationship that she deserves and desires, and, like we’ve said, we know it starts with you.

That’s why we’d love to invite you to the Self-Love Secret Mission, a free 5-day challenge happening next week!

Imagine five days where you can break-though and create the type of love and relationship with yourself that you want to create with others.

Throughout the week, you will experience falling in love with yourself and start seeing the miracles that follow.

Out of this experience we’ve seen women obtain new jobs, receive promotions, manifest new homes, and create the relationship of their dreams — all through the healing and transformation that comes through doing this HeartWork.

If you’re ready to create a deeply loving, profound, and powerful relationship with yourself that will have you create the life and love you really want, then make sure you join us for the Self-Love Secret Mission!

Click here to join us for the Self-Love Secret Mission!

When you dive into self-love and develop a deep and intimate relationship with yourself, you tap into and unleash your Irresistible Essence, which is the key to creating everything your heart desires!

We can’t wait to see you there!

How to Listen to Actually Hear Your Partners

by heartsdesireintl | Aug 17, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance

by Gladys Diaz

Let’s talk about listening.

It’s been said that listening is 50% of the communication process.

Well, we think differently!

Listening is 100% of communication because, if you’re not actively listening, you’re not really having a conversation.

If you’re not listening you’re having a monologue, instead of a dialogue, and that isn’t really a conversation, now, is it?

We’re talking about not just listening, but really hearing what the other person is saying.

Have you ever had this experience of listening vs. hearing?

Think about a clock that ticks in your house. Probably, most of the time you don’t even notice the ticking, or you might hear it and it doesn’t really affect you. Now think about how you feel when you tune into it and all of the sudden the ticking becomes 10 times louder and drives you absolutely crazy!

It’s maddening right?!

Kind of a silly example, but do you see the difference between listening and actually hearing?

Hearing involves attention and presence, and is so very important in dating and relationships.

If you’re dating, you’re aiming to get to know people well enough to know if you want to keep getting to know them. How do you do that if you’re not listening well?

Really listening can help you catch key things you may otherwise have missed that can cause you to either want to get to know someone better, or save you lots of heartache and wasted time in the long run.

If you’re in a relationship, one of the most loving things you can do for your partner is to simply listen without saying a word.

How often do you do that?

We get it,. It’s not always easy. As mothers and wives we get how easy it is to give in to the desire to say something from a desire to support and help the other person.

However, when someone feels heard, they feel acknowledged, loved, cared for, seen, known and understood.

And those are beautiful gifts to receive!

So, how do you listen so you actually hear the other person?

It starts with being in control of the voice in your head. You know, the voice that is constantly thinking about, judging and placing opinions on everything you hear.

That voice that just asked if you have one of those voices… Yep, that’s the one!

Acknowledge you have that voice so you can start turning the volume down on it and really listening when others are talking.

The next step is to be an active listener.

What does that mean?

Engage with the conversation. Ask questions and seek to understand. Refrain from interrupting and interjecting your own thoughts and opinions, but let the other person know you’re listening by showing you’re invested in the conversation.

You can also say periodically things like, “I want to make sure I’m hearing you….” or “What I’m hearing you say is…” so that you can make sure you are understanding what they are trying to communicate.

The experience on the receiving end of these questions is one of “Wow! She really cares about me and wants to make sure she understands me!”

If you want to show a lot of courage, you could also ask at the end of a conversation how the other person felt about your listening. And then listen for the feedback of what the other person’s experience was.

You can become a better listener just by asking for feedback along the way!

In communication, the words you say, how you say them, and how you listen are the keys to making a difference for people in your life.
These tools work across the board. How would your relationships in all walks of life — work, family, friendships — benefit from better listening?

If you’d like some support with recognizing the blocks in your own listening patterns, that’s what we’re here for! We know the tools of communication that work in relationships — AND the ones that don’t — so that you can experience greater levels of love, trust and intimacy with those you love and care about.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Think of the number of people in your life who are important to you and how communicating better would make a difference for them. Think about how this could transform the communication and connection in your relationships.

It’s a complete game changer when you know how to use the tools! We want you to go out in your life and have beautiful conversations that make a difference for you and the person you love!

Do You Believe Love Can Be Easy?

by heartsdesireintl | Aug 13, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, Intimacy, Love, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz

Believing you can have the love you desire is the key to creating the relationship of your dreams.

Do you really believe it’s possible for you?

Your answer is probably yes.

But, here’s the kicker.: Your brain is getting in the way.

Whether it’s been years since your last relationship, or you’re in one right now, if you’re struggling to know how to make it work the way you want it to, there’s a belief that’s getting in the way.

Everything we believe is given by something that happened in our past.

Things happen. Promises are broken, something unexpected happens, people change, partners die… and we start to wonder: Can I really have the love I want?

No matter what your relationship status, ask yourself this: What is getting in the way of me having the relationship I really want?

The first thing to pay attention to is what you’re thinking in the little moments.

What’s the very first thing that comes to your mind when someone says you’re beautiful?

When he doesn’t call after a date?

When he’s 10 minutes late to pick you up?

When your boss calls you in for a meeting?

The reason it’s important to pay attention to those thoughts is because those thoughts are the ones running the show.

They’re creating your “reality.”

Even if you say you know you can have the relationship you really want, but you don’t fully believe it, you won’t be able to create it.

You will always listen to your beliefs over your thoughts or words.

So, what’s running your show?

What are your dominant thoughts focused on?

Do you think you can’t trust him? That relationships never last?

Do you feel like relationships are too hard, or that a great relationship is never going to happen for you?

These thoughts were created before you had your first kiss or your first crush.

And that’s why it’s important to get to the root beliefs under those thoughts, so that you can dig them up and replace them with beliefs that will serve you.

It’s like when I’m pulling those pesky weeds out of my yard. If I don’t pull them all the way out, including the roots, they will just grow back! But if I pull them out, roots and all, they will be gone for good.

It’s the same with our beliefs.

When you get to the root of the belief that’s tainting your reality, then, and only then, can you replace it by planting new experiences which create new beliefs that are just as strong and deeply rooted as the old belief.

Those pesky beliefs that cause you to run the same patterns in your life cause disappointing experiences. Enough disappointment leads to apathy and more disempowering beliefs, and the tug-of-war in your life goes on and on!

The conversation you’re having in your head is what’s keeping you stuck exactly where you are.

If you’re done suffering and are tired of having a hard time in relationships, let us help you!

Relationships are joyful, fun, exciting, adventurous, intimate and happy! Let us help you uncover what’s making it seem so hard. Because it doesn’t have to be.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

If what you really, truly believe isn’t giving you what you want, let’s talk. It can be easy!

How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

by heartsdesireintl | Jul 17, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

How deep is your connection with the people you’re in relationship with?

Do you feel like you can be open, intimate and close with others, or do you feel like your relationships are superficial and shallow?

As human beings, we long for connection with other people, but not just any connection. We crave deep intimacy. Relationships where we can speak freely and share our souls.

The thing is, the depth you’ll be able to go with someone else can only be as deep as the depth you’re able to go with yourself.

If you’re able to connect with yourself on a deep level, you’ll be able to connect deeply with others and create the fulfilling, connected, deep relationship you desire.

So what if you can’t? What if you feel stuck in a pattern that’s not working?

A client of ours was feeling frustrated because, for the third time in a row she’d created a committed relationship with a man, only to then find out something about his character that she wasn’t okay with.

She was frustrated because she was wondering why she wasn’t seeing the things she needed to see in a man before allowing herself to fall in love and become attached to him.

She wanted to heal whatever was underneath this pattern so she could 1) stop having to deal with the heartbreak of walking away from men she loved who weren’t what she wanted, and 2) so she could finally create a deep relationship with the right man.

She was experiencing this because there was something within her that needed healing and she was attracting that in those she was dating.

So how do you heal what’s getting in the way of the love you want?

First, you must get some insight. Look into your experience of you.

Now is the time to get real with yourself. Answer these questions, honestly:

Are your actions out of alignment with your beliefs and values?

Do you have a hard time setting healthy boundaries?

Do you waver on your word or struggle having integrity with what you say?

Do you avoid certain people, situations or conversations?

Do you try to change who you are to appease others?

Do you have a hard time trusting others?

Do you walk around in a state of protection? Always feeling that you’re unsafe?

Do you push people away before they can get close?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you most likely are disconnected in some area of your life, which will cause you to feel disconnected in areas of your relationships.

Look closely at your answers.

Why do you behave the way you do? Where does it come from?

If you’re in a relationship with someone right now and it feels like something is missing, look at it. Where is the connection missing? Get curious about it.

Open up in new ways to your partner. Look at what’s missing where you are and see what you can do to transform that barrier within yourself that will inspire change in the relationship.

Once you’ve looked inward and seen where the breakdown is coming, from then you can heal it.

You don’t overcome barriers. You heal them.

You get to the source of where they came from — the moment you decided you couldn’t trust yourself, or whatever it is for you — and you do the Heartwork to heal it.

Now hear this: You are not broken. Your heart may be broken, but you are not.
There may be a piece of you that is broken off, and that’s what you want to heal.

Doing the Heartwork is about healing and bringing that piece back.

Would you like support in healing the wounds you have?

Do you want to restore trust in yourself and others, have faith in love, let go of fears from the past and step into the relationship you desire – with yourself and others?

If so, we’d love to talk to you! Sometimes it takes someone else’s insight to see where we;re blocked, and to learn how to do the work to heal it.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

When you heal, then you can be brave in life and love, because you’re open and ready to connect deeply and authentically within yourself and with others in relationship.

How to Communicate so He Can Actually Hear You

by heartsdesireintl | Jul 10, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

What do your conversations with your partner look and feel like?

When you share what you want or feel with your partner, do you think you’re communicating effectively, but he n gets defensive or doesn’t understand what you’re really trying to say?

Do you want to know how to communicate what you want and feel in a way that your partner can receive and hear it?

Sometimes, learning how to communicate effectively in relationships can feel like you’re learning a whole new language. This is because we’ve been conditioned that “being honest” or “sharing how we feel” means we have to complain or say what we want in an ineffective way.

For example, let’s say you feel like your partner doesn’t do enough around the house. You say things like, “It’d be nice if I could get some help around here!” or “I never get any help!” or “I always have to do everything myself.”

And then… he doesn’t do anything different.

You’re confused, because you think you expressed your needs and hoping your partner will feel motivated and inspired to help.

But he isn’t.

This was going on in my relationship with Ric years ago, and it was frustrating!

I felt like I was asking for help, but nothing was changing in his behavior.

Why wasn’t he responding the way I wanted him to?!

The answer is because I wasn’t communicating effectively.

One day I said distinctly, “I need help.”

What was his response?

“What do you need help with?”

I honestly didn’t know what to say, because it never occurred to me that it could be that easy.

No nagging… no complaining… just “I need help!”

And then he offered to take on a few of the things I didn’t feel I could do alone.

Wow!

I got the result I wanted simply from changing the way I was communicating and being distinct and clear about what I wanted.

He wanted to help me, he just needed to be able to hear what I was saying without the “static” of complaints, reasons, and justifications for it. .

When communicating what you want with your partner, make sure you use short, distinct comments that clearly state what you want.

“I want to go for a walk.”

“I’m disappointed because I was looking forward to seeing you.”

“I don’t want to do these dishes right now.”

Clearly stating what you want allows the other person to hear you.

It really is that simple.

Another important part of communicating effectively in a relationship is making sure your intention for the conversation is clear and that you let go of any attachment to how the other person may respond.

Intention is the umbrella under which the conversation happens, and it’s the compass that guides it.

Your reason for communicating can’t be about trying to get the other person to do or say something. It has to be 100% about saying what you want to say in order to stay in alignment with what is true for you, regardless of how he may react.

Be very careful with this ,because your ego will try and get in the way.

Be honest with yourself and make sure your emotions are in a place where your pure intention is to create what you want — love, peace and connection vs being right or getting an apology.

If you’re not clear about what you want to say and why, postpone the conversation until you are.

Ineffective communication is the #1 breakdown in relationships, and mastering how you can create the kind of relationship you want to create is the key to success. If you’d like support in seeing how you can create more clarity and impact through your communication, book a call with us now!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Having clarity of intention, making sure your emotions are clear prior to the conversation, knowing what you want and don’t want, and letting go of attachment are the keys to having meaningful conversations that create deeper intimacy, connection and love in a relationship.

Let us support you!

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