by heartsdesireintl | May 2, 2015 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
Time to bust another myth about why successful women can’t succeed in love!
If you read the previous blog post, you know that I touched upon another very common myth about how, in order to have a relationship, a successful woman will have to settle.
There is a pervasive belief that a successful woman will either have to settle for someone who is not as successful, someone she’s not that crazy about, or someone who’s not intimidated by her success.
All of these beliefs come from the fear of not being able to have it all – everything your heart desires. If you believe that what you want is “too much,” “too good to be true,” or “unrealistic,” then you’ll do one of two things: You’ll either try to minimize your desires, or you’ll make your expectations so insurmountable that there’s little chance of sharing your life with someone who is able to meet all of them.
Let me address minimizing your desires first.
One desire that successful women often deny is the desire to be in a loving relationship. They will say that they are perfectly happy alone – that they don’t need a man in their lives.
If they are single, they will put dating at the bottom of their very busy to-do list.
If they are in relationships, they begin to think that it’s better to move on alone than to try to make the relationship work.
First, it is important that you are happy with yourself and your life, whether or not you have a man to share it with. You’re 100% responsible for your own happiness, and a woman who is content with her life is confident and attractive.
However, if you do want to share your life with someone and you’re saying that you don’t because you’re afraid that you won’t find the right guy, it feels safer for you to be alone than to risk opening your heart to someone or to put effort into making the relationship work, then you’re not being real with yourself and that has a profound impact on how you experience life and love.
See, anytime you deny one of your heart’s desires, you are selling out on yourself – you’re denying what’s true for you.
When you do that, even if you have tons of success in other areas of your life, you will feel unfulfilled, because you won’t have what you really want. You are, in essence, being inauthentic with yourself. And, if you’re not being real with yourself, you won’t be able to be real with someone else and you will likely attract to yourself someone who is not authentic with you, either. (Prepare yourself for heartache.)
The second way you could sabotage your love life is by setting unrealistic expectations.
These expectations will either be about what the “perfect man” has to be like, do, or have, or what the “perfect relationship” must be like.
I often say, “Perfectionism is poison.” Expecting a person, situation or relationship to be perfect is setting yourself up to be disappointed.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you settle for just anyone. That would be another way of selling out on yourself and your desires. What it means is that you open yourself up to the possibility that you can have a happy, loving relationship with a man who doesn’t meet every point on your “Quality Assurance List” — a perfectly imperfect man.
Rather than focusing on all of the external characteristics a man must meet – height, weight, salary, car, home, etc. – focus on what you want to experience in the relationship, instead. Put your thoughts and intentions into how you want to feel in the relationship. This way, when you are out with a man, you are focused on you, instead of him. This also allows you to be open to meeting and getting to know more men, so that you increase your chances of meeting the right one.
If you are in a relationship, you can begin to let go of all of the expectations that are having you complain about, criticize, and trying to change your man. Instead, you can shift your focus from feeling disappointed to getting present to and appreciating the man he is and the qualities about him that had you fall in love with him in the first place! It also means learning the feminine skill of saying what would make you happy, rather than pointing out all of the things that don’t!
Many of these skills and practices don’t come easily to an independent woman, because it requires letting go of being in complete control and managing everything on your own. It means being okay with uncertainty and imperfection. It means acknowledging just how much you really do want to share your life with a man who will love and adore you, celebrate and share your success.
But these skills are necessary if you want to create a loving, intimate, passionate relationship where you get to be authentic with yourself and experience the love you truly want!
That’s why Michelle and I created The Irresistible Woman LIVE Event. We are committed to equipping successful women with the skills that will empower you to have the loving relationship you want.
You don’t have to settle for less than you truly want and deserve. You really CAN have it ALL! And we want to show you how!
During this 3-day immersive-learning event, you will discover:
- The behaviors and skills that help propel you at work but repel love, connection, and partnership in a relationship
- The steps you can take to create shift in yourself so that you can experience success in love
- The keys to having the type of relationship you want and deserve
And so much more!
This is our way of saying thank you and honoring you for the commitment you are making to yourself and your love life!
Nothing would make us happier than to see you experiencing the success in love we KNOW you can have, so that we can celebrate it with you!
Join us and let’s start celebrating your success in love!
Click here to grab your Early Bird seat!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Feb 6, 2015 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
The other day I shared with you one of “The 3 P’s” most important to a man: Providing for the woman he loves.
Today I’d like to focus on the second “P”: Protecting the woman he loves.
It may seem a little old-fashioned to think that a man feels that he needs to “protect” the woman he loves. After all, we women have become very independent and self-sufficient, and we can take care of ourselves – physically, emotionally, and financially.
However, when you think back to the beginning of time, men were the providers and protectors. If they didn’t protect the tribe, people died. It was just that simple.
That need to feel like he’s capable of protecting you from harm is inherent in a man. When he has the experience that he’s not able to prevent something bad from happening to you, he may very well react with what appears to be anger. And, in the moment, it may seem like that anger is directed at you.
I remember one day I was sharing with my husband about a business deal. I had shared an idea and made a verbal agreement with someone about a program that we were going to partner together to create and launch. Eventually, it turned out that the person went ahead with the idea without me and offered me a role in the project, but not a full partnership. I, of course, was disappointed and hurt, and shared these feelings with my husband. I shared that I still wanted to be part of the project, because I believed in it, but I was very hurt that I had been informed about the change in plans after the fact.
All of a sudden, I felt like I was being “attacked.” Instead of comforting and encouraging me, he began yelling and telling me that I would be a fool to continue working with this person who obviously took an idea we had brainstormed together and ran with it on her own, without discussing anything with me. He kept getting louder and angrier, and I was completely confused and felt as if he was rubbing salt in my wounds.
Rather than say something I would regret, I went upstairs and laid in my chaise lounge chair, crying. On top of being hurt, I was angry! Why was he taking this out on me?
Then I asked myself a question that has helped me to move from anger to understanding in the past.
What would have him say something like that to me?
See, my husband loves me, and I know that he wants to protect me from harm, not cause me harm. As soon as I asked myself that question (What would have him say something like that to me?”), I was able to see it as clear as day: He was trying to protect me!
See, in my husband’s eyes, someone had let me down, hurt me, cost me what could have been a great financial opportunity, and left me out of a partnership I had been so excited about being a part of.
However, worse than all of that, there was nothing he could do to prevent or “fix” it for me.
He felt helpless because he didn’t and couldn’t protect me!
After I moved from anger to compassion, I then moved into a space of gratitude!
I was so grateful that my husband was so loving and protective – even if he didn’t express it the way I would express it.
I walked downstairs, stood behind the couch he was sitting on, leaned down, and whispered in his ear, “I get it. You’re upset because you want to protect me from being hurt or taken advantage of. Thank you for your love.”
He turned around and looked me in the eye. I don’t know if it was shock and awe at the fact that I’d figured it out, or just plain and simple relief that I got what he’d been trying to express, but I’ll never forget the look in his eyes. He just said, “I am upset. I love you and don’t like seeing you sad or hurt.”
I walked around the couch, sat next to him, and nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck and cried a little bit more.
Nothing had been resolved, but I felt loved, protected and at peace, no matter what ended up happening with the business project! I had my hero next to me, and, right then and there, that was all that really mattered!
Think about it:
Has there been a time when you felt like your husband or boyfriend wasn’t being supportive of your dream or idea?
Consider that he wants more than anything to see you realize your dream and be happy, and is afraid you’ll be disappointed if your idea fails. And, because there’s nothing he can do to stop that from happening, he tries to discourage you from getting your hopes too high.
Has there been a time when he’s gotten angry at you for being friends with or associating with someone who has hurt or disappointed you in the past?
Consider that he hates seeing you sad and upset, so he gets angry, and directs that anger at you, because he’s afraid you’ll get hurt and disappointed again. And, because there isn’t much he can do to prevent that from happening, he tries pointing out how foolish it is to trust someone who was capable of hurting or lying to you in the first place.
Regardless of what your specific situation is, if you can try to listen for the love behind the words of anger, it’s very possible that you will also hear his his desire to keep you safe.
While you may not understand his approach, if you can listen for and hear his love and concern and his desire to protect you, you, too, will be able to move from upset, to compassion, to gratitude that you have a man at your side who wants nothing more than to be your hero!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jan 6, 2015 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
If your inbox is anything like mine, you have been flooded with emails and videos over the past few days about how to make 2015 your year!
I don’t know how you’ve been receiving the messages, but each time I receive one of them, I affirm, “Yes, it is! My dreams are coming true!”
Did you notice how I stated those affirmations using positive words and in present tense?
Those are just two of the keys to anchoring a statement regarding a goal, dream, or resolution so that you are already living into making it come true!
Click on the image below to watch a video Michelle shot for you from one of her dreams come true and read on to learn more about the keys to making a goal or resolution a reality!
Key #1: State your goal, dream, or resolution using positive words.
Did you notice how Michelle said, “Someday I’m gonna’ come back”?
She didn’t say, “Someday I hope I can come back,” or “I wish I could come back someday.” She said, “I’m gonna’ come back!” And that’s exactly what she did!
When we state a goal, resolution or affirmation using positive words – words that focus on what we do want, rather than on what we don’t want or are afraid might happen or not happen, our mind grabs onto, or “anchors,” that statement and translates it into a command.
See, your brain believes what you tell it to believe. If you continuously feed it fears, doubts, limiting beliefs, resentments and regrets, that’s what it will grab onto and make happen. It’s why you may be wondering why it is that certain people and situations keep showing up and repeating themselves in your life.
Making a dream or a resolution a reality begins with believing that it can happen. And, sometimes, that means repeating the statement over and over again until you actually begin to believe what you keep telling yourself.
Key #2: State your goal, dream, or resolution in the present tense, as if it is already happening!
Rather than saying, “Maybe one day I will find someone and have a good relationship” declare what will happen: “Someday, I will have the relationship of my dreams!”
Want to make your statement even more powerful? State it as if it is already happening: I am creating the relationship of my dreams!
This may seem “woo-woo,” like wishful thinking, or as if you are lying to yourself…
Let me be clear.
When you are telling yourself things like, “There is something wrong with me,” or “Maybe I’m just not meant to be in a happy relationship,” or “There’s no way this relationship will ever get better,” you are lying to yourself!
And, what’s worse, not only are you affirming what you don’t want, but you are believing it!
Retraining your brain to create, declare, and manifest what you want takes some “rewiring,” but it’s not that difficult to do, once you know the steps to take.
These are just 2 of the keys you’ll learn about on how to manifest your goals and resolutions during the 2015 Love Resolution Workshop we’ll be hosting on January 24, 2015, and it’s why we want you to join us!
You’ll also learn other keys, such as how to create a vision of what you want your love life to be like and how to plan for success, so that you are living your resolution every day of 2015!
This will be a wonderful, life-changing experience, and we can’t wait to share it with you!
Just click here to register now!
We are close to being sold out and we don’t want you to miss out, so register now and then check your email for important information regarding the event!
One of our goals for 2015 is:
We are helping thousands of women around the world attract, create, and experience the life and love their hearts desire!
And we want you to be part of us making that resolution a reality!
Register now and let us know that you’re going to be part of us realizing our resolution!
Can’t wait to see you there!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Dec 31, 2014 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
First, I want to point out that there is a good reason why I look like a wet duck in the video below!
This morning, I was committed to going for a run, even though it’s New Year’s Eve and I would have much more preferred to have slept in a lot longer! However, I made a New Year’s Resolution a few weeks ago (Yes, I know I was a bit early, but why wait?), so I held myself accountable and went out for a run.
Not .25 miles into the 4-mile run, it began to rain… hard.
Immediately, fears, doubts, and excuses started going CRAZY in my head.
It’s raining too hard…
I should go back home…
I’m going to get sick…
It was amazing to me just how quickly I was ready to find a reason to justify not honoring my commitment when something unexpected happened!
And it got me thinking about how today and in the next few days you and millions of people will be making New Year’s Resolutions that probably (sadly) won’t last beyond a month — or even a week, simply because they haven’t planned on what to do when stuff (a.k.a. life) happens!
So, at mile 3, when it finally stopped raining, I sat down on a soaking wet bench and shot a quick video message just for you on 3 steps you can take to make sure you realize your resolution, even when something unexpected happens!
Click below to watch this short video!
Michelle and I will be taking you through these 3 steps at the Love Resolution Workshop we are hosting on January 24th in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.
In this workshop you will:
- Break through any hidden barriers that are standing in the way of you either attracting or manifesting even more love in your life and relationships
- Create a clear and solid vision of what you want to experience in your love life and relationships in 2015
- Develop an action plan that will have you living into and experiencing that vision throughout 2015!
- Plus, a few surprises!
Remember that today is the last day you and your friends can register at the current Early Bird price, so…
>>Click here to register for the Love Resolution Workshop!<<
Wishing you lots of love and an amazing and Happy New Year!
Gladys
P.S. You really do have the power to make 2015 the most extraordinary year yet! Join us for the Love Resolution Workshop and let’s get started on making 2015 The Year of Love and Dreams Come True for YOU!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 28, 2014 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever had an experience that completely changes the way you see and experience life, even if nothing in your life changes?
That’s what I experienced this weekend!
Thanks to my amazing sister, Michelle, who gave me one of my best birthday presents ever, I was able to attend Oprah Winfrey’s “Live the Life You Want Weekend”!
Beyond the thrill of having the opportunity to see Oprah, Deepak Chopra, and Iyanla Vanzant – three of my favorite thought leaders, along with three new favorites: Elizabeth Gilbert, Rob Bell, and Amy Purdy – in person, it was the messages they shared that most touched and moved me!
The entire weekend was about embracing and living your life’s purpose and becoming who you were created to be so that you can have the life you want: The Life Your Heart Desires!
One powerful, heart-shaking quote after another filled me with more love, joy, and hopeful anticipation than I could have ever imagined! And, with each one, Michelle and I thought of you, and how we could use what we were learning and reaffirming to inspire and guide you to have the life and love your heart desires!
Why did we think of you?
Because our life’s purposes is completely intertwined with yours!
See, it is our life’s mission to ensure that each and every woman on the planet has the experience of loving and being loved each and every day of her life and is living the life of her dreams!
One of the most powerful quotes of weekend was spoken during a benediction Rev. Rob Bell said at the end of his talk. In the blessing, he prayed that by embracing the life we already have, may we come to see that we are already living the life we want.
How powerful is that?!?
What it made me see is that everything in my life – every sad moment and every happy one, every struggle and every celebration, every breakdown and every breakthrough, and every single choice I’ve ever made – has led me to the moment I am living right now.
And, if I embrace all of it with arms wide open, rather than resisting and pushing away the events and circumstances I don’t like, if I stop pretending that I don’t feel the pain and sadness when things don’t go the way I hoped they would, and if I take the time to just see and listen to the lesson I’m being taught in that moment, then I can trust that I am exactly where I need to be on the path leading me to where I want to go!
The same is true for you.
I know that not everything in your life looks the way you’d like it to.
I know that you have challenges and situations that feel like immovable barriers right now.
I know that you’ve experienced heartache and that even the thought of ever experiencing something like that again keeps you stuck and not wanting to take the steps you know can lead you in the direction of your hopes and dreams.
I also know that you have within you all of the power, beauty and grace to move forward and break through those barriers with strength, grace, and ease.
I know that you have the strength to face the choices you have made, to forgive yourself, and to break free from all of that unnecessary pain you’ve been carrying with you.
And, most of all, I know that you don’t have to do it alone. That’s why we’re here. That is our life’s purpose.
So, wherever you are on your journey – whether you are on the precipice of a huge breakthrough, or in a dark valley – know that there is a light within you just waiting to be ignited and unleashed!
Know that, if you allow it to, everything around you is pulling you toward the life and love your heart desires. You just have to let go of the past, the fear, and the heartache, so that you can let loose and set yourself free!
Nothing would make us happier than to see you living your every dream come true, except knowing that we, in some small way, played a part in helping that happen for you!
So, if you are ready to begin experience the life, happiness, and love that is waiting for you, know that we are only a phone call away!
Just click here to schedule a Ready for Love Breakthrough Session!
Know and believe that you truly can have the life and love your heart desires, and that we’re here to serve you!
Until our hearts meet again, always remember that you are loved!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 21, 2014 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Relationship Advice, Success, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
This weekend, I had an amazing breakthrough! I’ve gone back and forth about whether or not to share this, because it has to do with money, and I know that some people have “an issue” with that. But my breakthrough had so much more to do with things other than money, that I feel I need to share it with you, because it would be selfish not to!
Over the past two months I have invested more time and money in receiving coaching and training on running my business than ever before.
At every conference, meeting, and on every training call, I listened and took notes as if my life depended on it (because, in the big scheme of things, it does!). I made sure to spend time with the people who were shining most brightly, to connect with the leaders of the events (leaders by example – ALL of them), and to invest in further growth and development.
As I did this, a feeling of excitement began to brew in me. You know, like when you begin getting butterflies in your stomach at just the thought of something wonderful that is about to happen? Well, I began approaching life as if something wonderful was about to happen at any moment!
All of this Hopeful Anticipation came to a head this weekend at a Speaking Bootcamp, when I stood in front of a group of fellow entrepreneurs – many of them strangers – and gave a 5-minute talk about “Being The Invincible Woman in Your Work Life and The Absolutely Irresistible Woman in Your Love Life!”
As part of the talk, I extended the invitation for the ladies in the room to attend an upcoming event we are having for professional and entrepreneurial women who want to experience new levels of success in both their professional lives AND their love lives.
I spoke from my heart and with passion, because I knew what it cost me to not leave the office and “Vice-President Gladys” at the office, and bring a lot of the masculine energy I had to embody at work into my home. It was absolutely killing the romance and intimacy in my relationship.
I spoke with authority and conviction, because I knew what I did to turn that around and bring love, intimacy, and passion back into my marriage.
And yes, even though I was shaking a little, I spoke directly to every woman who in there with confidence and courage, because, my faith in what I was saying and the opportunity I was extending were bigger than my fear!
The result? An amazing breakthrough!
When I looked up, before I’d even finished speaking, there were four women standing in the back of the room, waiting to sign up for The Irresistible Woman Seminar that will be held in February!
So, why do I share this with you?
I share this so that you will know that whatever is stopping you from having and experiencing the kind of loving relationship your heart desires, your faith that you can have it needs to be bigger than your fear!
I share this because what made the difference for me was surrounding myself with like-minded women and inspirational thought leaders who are living what they teach. And that’s important to me, because that is what I commit to doing every single day in my marriage!
I share this because I am going to be extending several opportunities with you over the next few weeks and months that are going to guide you in being invincible in the workplace and absolutely irresistible in your love life!
And, finally, I share this because we have about two and half months left in the year, and, if you think that it’s too late to make a real change that will result in you meeting your love goals for 2014, I’m going to flat-out tell you that you are wrong. It’s not too late!
On the first day of the Speaking Bootcamp, we were asked to share our goal regarding what we wanted to get out of the weekend. I wrote down that I wanted to speak in such a way that women were moved to take immediate and decisive action to purchase the products and services that would allow them to achieve their hearts’ desires.” I also shared that I wanted to be able to inspire 20%-30% of the women in the room to work with me.
Guess what? Both of those goals were met that day!
So the question to ask yourself is not whether it’s too late to achieve your love goals. What there is for you to decide is whether or not you are ready to do whatever it takes to start taking action that will lead you toward achieving those goals.
If you are – and, please, only if you are truly ready – to begin working toward your love goals, click here to schedule an appointment for a Ready for Love Breakthrough Session, and let’s create an action plan that will help you begin taking decisive action toward achieving those goals.
Nothing is sweeter than experiencing a breakthrough that you know is going to change your life forever. That’s what I experienced this weekend, and that’s what I would love to guide you in experiencing, too!
Here’s to creating and living a life of all of your heart’s desires fulfilled!
Click here to schedule your Ready for Love Breakthrough Session!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
