Making and Keeping Agreements Are Keys to Strengthening Your Relationship

by heartsdesireintl | Mar 30, 2015 | Communication, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Success

by Gladys Diaz

Monday was my first day back after a week off for vacation, and I’m excited!

It wasn’t always this way for me. I used to dread having to go back to work after being on vacation. I would think of reasons/excuses to give my boss for not having to go in that first day. I’d dread looking at my inbox and having to deal with everything that didn’t get done while I was away.

That was then…

Now, however, I absolutely love what I do and I love the women I work with, and, since it doesn’t seem like “work,” I have to be really aware of how I manage my time when I’m on vacation so that I can really take time off to relax, replenish, and renew my mind, body, and spirit before heading back to the office.

One of the concerns I get from professional women is that they fear their partner won’t understand and feel comfortable with their drive and determination when it comes to their careers. They worry that their partners will somehow feel “threatened” or intimidated by their success.

That’s why one of the ways I create harmony between my work and personal life is by making agreements – both with myself and my husband.

See, my husband knows how much my clients mean to me. He knows that, if they are in the middle of a crisis in their relationships, it wouldn’t sit right with me to just ignore them because I’m on vacation. He also knows that I’m in the middle of planning two huge projects, and, if something came up around them, I’d need to at least be aware of it in order to delegate the issue to someone else.

What my husband also knows beyond a shadow of a doubt is that he and the boys mean more to me than anything else, and that I consider the time I spend with them precious.

So, before going on vacation, we agreed on what our days would look like and what I would do to manage anything that might come up regarding work. This way, rather than being on the phone checking email all day long, I had had certain times designated when I would check in, look to see what I needed to respond to, and the rest of the time was 100% family fun time!

By creating and honoring an agreement about what I would do/not do while on vacation, I took 100% responsibility for my happiness and for the work that would/would not get done that week. I also sent the message to my husband and kids that they are my priority and that, after those few minutes when I did work during the day, they had my undivided attention.

Because of this agreement, I didn’t have to feel “guilty” about answering or not answering an email. I kept to my schedule and did everything I could to be present with and enjoy the time I spent with my in-loves (my term for “in-laws).

The even better part was that, because my intention was to be fully present with my family and I was willing to work a little harder and longer the 2 weeks prior to vacation, I actually had very little I had to attend to work-wise during the week! (It’s just like it says in one of the books I finished reading while on vacation, The Alchemist: “…when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”!)

In this case, the universe, my family, my team, and I conspired to make sure that I had a fun a restful vacation! But it didn’t “just happen.” Like everything else in life that it is important, it took setting a clear intention and planning!

A relationship is a partnership.

Creating agreements with your partner is one of the essential keys to making that partnership work. When making agreements, keep these things in mind:

1. Only promise what you fully intend to fulfill. It’s important that you determine what you are willing to do and that you fully intend to honor the agreement.

2. Keep the agreement. Even more important than making an agreement is keeping the agreement. In honoring the agreement, you send the message to your partner that he can trust you to honor your word (in this case, as well as in the rest of the relationship).
   

The truth is that the majority of the problems in relationships can be traced back to one or both of the partners not having kept a promise or agreement that was made.

Does this mean you’ll never break a promise or that you’ll keep every single agreement you ever make?

No.

The goal, of course, is to strive for that. But, if you fail to keep an agreement, follow these steps.

1. Acknowledge that the agreement wasn’t kept. Don’t ignore the broken agreement or pretend as if nothing happened. Honor yourself and your partner by acknowledging how the agreement was broken.
2. Apologize for whatever you did on your end to break the agreement.
3. Make a new agreement (keeping in mind that you fully intend to honor it this time).
4. Do everything in your power to honor the agreement.

Your relationship is the most important partnership you’ll ever have.  

While this doesn’t mean you won’t have other partnerships or projects that are important to you, it does mean that striving to make that partnership work needs to be a daily priority.  Making and keeping agreements is one way to make sure your partnership works!

Questions?  Comments?  Let us know below!  We love hearing from you!