I have to admit that this is my favorite time of year! Although it doesn’t feel like winter at all in Florida, there are signs of the holidays everywhere you look (including lit up snowflakes, which is the closest we’ll get to snow here)!
I feel love and hope and joy in the air, and that fills my heart up so much!
As happy as this season makes me, I know that it can be a bitter-sweet and not-so-happy time for others for a variety of reasons.
Maybe you’re feeling a little more lonely than usual.
Perhaps you’re wondering why this year isn’t very different from this time last year.
Or maybe you’ve had a big life change — whether it’s a change in your career, home, lifestyle, health, or relationship.
Whatever the reason, if you’re feeling less than cheerful this season, here are a few things you can do that can help you shift your heart-and-mindset so that you can welcome a little love and cheer in.
Focus on gratitude. I know it sounds “simple,” or perhaps it feels impossible when you’re not feeling very happy with the way things are. However, gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for shifting your perspective and attitude so that you can shift the way you are feeling. This is because gratitude automatically has you focusing on what you do have, rather than on what you don’t have or what is missing. It puts you in a state of abundance, and, if you allow yourself to truly feel the feelings of gratefulness, you can experience a complete shift in, not only your feelings, but in the solutions and possibilities that are available to you, but impossible to see when you are not focused on all of the people, things, and situations around for which you can feel and express gratitude.
Accept invitations, even if you don’t feel like going out.One of the tricky things about the way our subconscious works is that, if we don’t bring awareness to something, it’s impossible to change it! So, even though you may be feeling lonely during this time, if you don’t bring awareness to the fact that you are not alone, that there are people around you — family, friends, people at work, those in your place of worship, or even in social groups you may or may not belong to — you can actually perpetuate the feeling of being alone by not looking for opportunities to meet and be with other people, declining invitations, and isolating yourself from others. So, make it a point to accept as many invitations as possible so that you can enjoy talking, dancing, and laughing, meeting and getting to know people.
Make a difference in someone else’s life. When we put our attention and energy on what we don’t have, what we wish was different, and what others have that we don’t, it can add to feelings of sadness and loneliness. One of the most effective ways to shift that energy is to turn our attention outside of ourselves and make a difference for others. This time of year can be difficult for those who are sick, homeless, unable to get presents for their family, and people who have far less to be thankful for. Spend some time doing charity work, or choose to be a “Silent Angel” and make an anonymous donation or random act of kindness that benefits someone else. There really can be as much joy in giving as in receiving!
Practice self-care and self-love. You may be running around planning and hosting events, getting presents for others, and attending several social gatherings. While many of these activities can be fun, they can also be exhausting! Make sure you are taking time each day to do something nice for yourself. Whether it’s reading a book; taking a nice, long bath; talking to a girlfriend, getting extra sleep, buying yourself a special gift, or booking a massage, it’s important that you take time to replenish, nurture and restore your mind, body, and spirit. It’s impossible to feel truly happy, peaceful and irresistible when you’re walking around like a depleted ball of nerves, so do yourself a favor and put caring for and loving yourself at the top of your list of priorities.
If you’re in a romantic relationship, there can be additional stressors to add to the ones I mentioned above. Dealing with multiple family obligations, as well as family dynamics; having expectations regarding what should happen, and trying to make everyone happy can take a toll on your relationship. Here are some things you can do to avoid arguments before they start and enjoy the holidays with your love.
Remember that your partner has wants and needs, too. If both you and your partner want to (or are expected to) spend time with your families, determining whose family will be visited, how much time will be spent with each family, and when and where visits will take place can potentially trigger arguments. Keep in mind that there is another person in the relationship with you and that he has his own feelings and desires relating to his family and how he would like to spend the holidays with them. Seek to create a way to honor both of your desires so that neither one of you has to “sacrifice” or “settle for” anything. Instead, the two of you can come together and create a win-win-win situation for your partner, your families, and you.
If a “hot-button” topic comes up, commit to communicating respectfully, no matter what. 99% of all arguments result from miscommunication. This includes both the speaking and listening that takes place during a conversation. To avoid having a conversation turn into an argument, make sure that you are clearly understanding what your partners is saying. You can do this by ensuring that you are actually hearing your partner. For example, if your partners has shared something and you’re unclear about what he meant, you can say, “I hear you saying ______. Am I hearing you correctly?” By saying this, you let your partner know that you heard him (which has him feel heard) and you are clarifying whether that is what he said, which helps ensure that the two of you are having the same conversation and will help you come to a faster resolution.
Make peace a priority. When it comes to holidays, one of the most stressful aspects of it can be dealing with, not only one, but two families. Unfortunately, family gatherings can be a breeding ground for conflict if there are unresolved issues from the past lingering in the space that is supposed to be filled with laughter and love. Unfortunately, these arguments can affect and spill over into your relationship if you’re not careful to avoid that. This is why it’s so important to make peace — with yourself, you partner, and those around you a priority. If people begin to argue or you feel yourself getting upset, remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible. There is no need to make a dramatic exit. Simply and respectfully excuse yourself as a way to create some distance between you and the drama so that you don’t get wrapped up in it. If, after some time it seems as if things aren’t getting any better, it’s probably best to leave, if possible, so that you are not drawn into the arguing, or worse, have an argument with your partner about it. You don’t have to “suffer” through the holidays to prove your love for your partner, his family or your own.
While the holidays cause sadness and stress, implement these simple and practical steps so that you can ensure that you avoid sadness, upset and regret and give yourself the gifts of love, peace, joy, and hope!
Wishing you a holiday season overflowing with all of these gifts and everything your heart desires!
Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who live in the U.S. and celebrate this wonderful holiday!
Today, my heart is overflowing with thanks!
For the past two weeks, I have been in Hawaii, enjoying more natural beauty than I even knew existed! From beautiful beaches, to majestic mountains, and breathtaking sunsets, it has been one miraculous moment after the other.
If you would have told me a few years ago that I would be spending Thanksgiving with my husband and kids on this amazing island, I probably would not have thought it would be possible.
Yet, here we are! And every moment of this trip has been a dream come true!
While some people may say that I should have come alone with my husband for a romantic getaway, I’ll tell you what I know to be true! Love and romance are a creation! We get to create as much love, passion, and romance as our hearts desire. And, while, yes, perhaps it may have been a bit more romantic to be here without the kids, that hasn’t stopped us from creating some truly romantic moments while we’ve been here.
The first one happened at the Pearl Harbor Memorial, I mentioned to my husband that I would love to have a unique souvenir that I would see and use often and that would remind me of our trip. Before we left Pearl Harbor, we saw a small kiosk selling Hawaiian pearls. As soon as I saw the pendant of “The Tree of Life,” I gasped! It was so beautiful and original, and the monument had moved me to tears. Plus, knowing that the tree symbolizes rebirth, renewal, and a reminder that we are all interconnected made it all the more special!
I kept going between wanting the ring or the pendant, because they were both so beautiful! Then, my husband surprised me by telling the saleslady, “She’ll take both of them!” I squealed with delight as my eyes watered up and I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a sweet, long kiss!
The saleslady’s eyes watered, too, and she said, “How cute! How long have you two been together?”
“17 years,” I
answered.
“Wow! And he is still like that with you? You are lucky!”
“Yes. I’m blessed,” I said, and gave him another hug!
Then the next day, after driving all over the island to find the perfect spot to watch the sunset, because I mentioned that I wanted to see the sun set the previous day,” there was a Hawaiian man with a dreamy voice who began to sing, “What a Wonderful World.”
That happens to be one of my favorite songs, and with the sun setting, my husband and my kids there with me, the words took on a whole new meaning, and, again, my eyes watered as I looked over at my husband and smiled.
He stood up, came around to my side of the table, and drew me into his arms so that I could dance with him! No one else was dancing, and it didn’t matter. We just stared into each other’s eyes and danced! Another moment I will never forget!
So, why am I telling you all of this?
Because THIS is the kind of love you can have!
I’m not “lucky” and this relationship didn’t “just happen.” I have spent over two decades learning about what makes love last, I practice what I teach in my marriage ever single day, and making sure that you experience the joy of KNOWING that you are loved every single day of your life is why I do the work I do!
No matter where you are in your love life, whether you are single and ready to attract the man of your dreams, or you are in a relationship and you want to continue making the love grow deeper, stronger, and more passionate with time, YOU can have the loving relationship your heart desires!
You can learn the secrets to BEing a Simply Irresistible Woman — the kind of woman a man can’t help but love, and adore, and desire!
That’s why you want to make sure you keep your eyes open for our Black Friday special. We have NEVER offered such a generous sale before, and, honestly, we don’t plan on doing it again.
If you’re ready to start turning your love life around and you want to be the kind of woman who can attract and create a forever kind of love, then make sure you mark your calendar for midnight (12:00am ET) Friday, because this is an once-in-a-lifetime simply irresistible offer that can help you experience and have love for a lifetime!
This past weekend Michelle and I had the honor of speaking at the Women’s Prosperity
Network’s UNConference and sharing with the ladies in the audience the secrets to being an Unstoppable Woman in business and a Simply Irresistible Woman in your love life!
One of the parts of the talk that most resonated with the women was where we give them “The CPA’s of Love.” No, we’re not accountants, but we can tell you about the things that will either make deposits or withdrawals to the levels of love and intimacy you feel in your relationship and will either INSPIRE your man or push him away!
Well, we got so much positive feedback that I decided to shoot a short video so that you can have that information, too!
Just watch the video below and share in the comments what you’re biggest “a-ha” or take-away is and which action step you are going to take!
Having a wonderful relationship doesn’t have to be “hard.” Follow these simple steps and experience the magic of being a Simply Irresistible Woman!
If you’ve ever had a great glass of wine – you know… the kind that you just have to close your eyes and savor as you sip it – then you know what an amazing experience it can be!
And, if you know anything about wine, you know that great wine doesn’t “just happen.” An amazing glass of wine begins with selecting premium grapes and a very intricate process of aging the wine that results in a succulent, savory experience that you hope won’t end with just one glass!
In today’s video, Michelle comes to you from a vineyard in wine country as she celebrates 10 years of LOVE with her honey, Arnie, and she shares the top 3 ingredients for extraordinary love!
So… Grab a glass of your favorite wine or beverage, sip away, and let’s raise our glasses to creating the kind of love that lasts forever!
Please join me in congratulating Michelle and Arnie on celebrating their 10 years of extraordinary love by going to our Facebook page, so that we can surprise her with the happy wishes! 🙂
I remember just four years ago, how hopelessly stuck I felt in my job.
Yes, I was making great money, but I was miserable! I honestly felt like part of me was dying inside every time I sat at my computer.
See, I have been a coach, speaker, teacher, and trainer since I was 17 years old.
My heart beats to connect with and help people go from wherever they are to levels they can’t even begin to imagine.
But, due to downsizing and restructuring, my boss, in an effort to avoid letting me go, had put me in a department where all I did for 8-12 hours (or more) per day was type up questions for online courses.
As I said, I could feel my soul cringing and a little bit of life escaping me every time I was up until 2:00am, crying at my computer, wondering why the heck I was so afraid to let go of that paycheck!
It wasn’t until I received the call that my position was being eliminated that everything changed.
See, even though I was being told that I was being laid off, they offered me another job, making the same amount of money, but it would require me traveling 80% of the time. I thought about my husband and kids, and, as afraid as I was of losing 60% of our income in one full swoop, I refused to spend my life on a plane away from the three people I love most in this world.
So, I walked away.
And it was both the scariest and most liberating moment of my life, because, thanks to walking away from that position, I now have the opportunity to do what I love and was born to do as a relationship coach!
There is NOTHING more rewarding than knowing that I am living my purpose and helping women’s dreams come true! And now I also get to help relationship coaches build successful coaching practices so that they can help other women’s dreams come true, too! The love just keeps on spreading!
Oh! And I’m making more money than I ever did in my old job!
So, what does this have to do with you and your love life?
Are you in a relationship right now that you KNOW is not the right one for you?
Are you holding onto it because you are too afraid to let go and open your heart to loving and being loved again?
Or, are you in a relationship that you want to stay in, but you feel like it’s not going anywhere, like the love has stopped growing, and you feel stuck, frustrated and alone even though you’re “with” someone?
Whatever your version of “stuck” is, I want you to know that, as afraid as you are of letting go, that false sense of safety that continuing to hold on is giving you is robbing you of the opportunity to actually feel the love, joy, and fulfillment you can feel in a relationship that is loving, exciting, fulfilling, and fun!
But, just as when you were a kid playing on the monkey bars, in order to move forward, you’ve got to be willing to let go!
If you’re tired of feeling stuck and you want to know how to move forward, take a look at this quick video I shot for you.
In it, I explain the 3 steps you can take to begin moving forward in your relationship.
I know it can feel scary.
I know it feels “safer” to be stuck.
But the only thing that’s really happening is that you are cheating yourself out of the love and happiness that are waiting for you.
Is there a man in your life that you’ve been afraid to let go of – either because you won’t break up or leave him, or because you’re still holding onto the memory of him?
Do you know that the very act of not letting go is what is stopping you from welcoming the right man – the one who is ready to love you NOW – from coming into your life?
Don’t believe me?
Just ask my client, Osmara!
If you follow us on Facebook, you saw the picture I posted earlier this week of the 3 new engagement rings 3 of my clients are sporting!
Yes! That’s right! In the past 2 months, 3 beautiful women who once thought that they would never find the right man for them got engaged to the love of their lives! And we couldn’t be happier for them!
You see that beauty on the left? That one belongs to Osmara!
Osmara and I have been friends for a while and I’ve seen her go through both happy and painful times in her love life. After knowing each other for a few years, she began working with me as a client, and I was able to help her through a very difficult relationship and break up.
Well, rather than me telling you her story, here’s the comment she left in the FB post about her journey to love:
We first started working together when I was single in 2012 and ready to find love. Soon after, I manifested a man who would be my boyfriend for a year and a half. In this relationship (and the subsequent ending) I would be broken open and impelled to connect with myself on the deepest of levels.
When we broke up I was still holding on because I thought he was “the one” and I was scared he was “as good as it got.”
Talk about Lack Mentality!
You held my hand during very dark, scary times… And I will never forget that.
I could write a whole blog post on this story and maybe one day I will…
I was so infatuated with this relationship that I didn’t even realize, I actually met my fiance and future husband (I love saying that!) when I was with my ex! He was at a seminar we attended and I would have never guessed he’d be my true ONE then.
So I picked up the pieces of my shattered illusions and licked my wounds and came to love me and stand strong as just me. Single, in my solitude, I learned to come home to myself.
Then last September, Ash, my fiance, unexpectedly came into my life. Our first conversation was only
meant to be 45 min and it went on for over 4 hours. That was the first of many conversations that went on for hours and hours.
I’ve never felt more at home than w him. It’s not an effort or work, it flows. That’s not to say we don’t have to work on our s**t or that we don’t bump heads because, oh, boy, yes we do!
But the work I did with you, Gladys, helped prep me to be able to accept this love that is everything I’ve been dreaming of. It helped me to see where I was holding on to the old because of fear. And I’m so glad I let go, because right as I did, in a matter of days, mi amor (my love) came right into my reality.
Eternally grateful, humbled, and inspired. xx
Isn’t that amazing?
The man of her dreams was standing right in front of her all along, but she couldn’t see him because she was too afraid to let go of a relationship that was causing her more pain and heartache than she ever needed to feel.
It was only when she had the courage to let go and love herself more than she loved him that she was able to come to the place where she was ready to love and be loved again!
Maybe you can relate to this story…
Maybe you are so afraid to let go of the man who is not right for you, isn’t committing to you, or is not loving you the way you want and deserve to be loved because you are so afraid of being alone.
Maybe you’re afraid that you won’t ever find someone you connect with or love as much as him.
Or maybe you’re afraid that there isn’t anyone out there who can love you the way you dream of being loved.
Whatever your reason for not letting go, you need to realize that, in holding onto him, those clenched hands aren’t able to open up and receive the love that’s already there for you!
I’m not saying it’s “easy” to do. But, with the right support and guidance, you can do the Heart Work release yourself from a painful relationship and open your heart to give and receive the love your heart most desires.
Remember: You can still love him and choose to love yourself enough to let him go.
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One of the tricky things about the way our subconscious works is that, if we don’t bring awareness to something, it’s impossible to change it! So, even though you may be feeling lonely during this time, if you don’t bring awareness to the fact that you are not alone, that there are people around you — family, friends, people at work, those in your place of worship, or even in social groups you may or may not belong to — you can actually perpetuate the feeling of being alone by not looking for opportunities to meet and be with other people, declining invitations, and isolating yourself from others. So, make it a point to accept as many invitations as possible so that you can enjoy talking, dancing, and laughing, meeting and getting to know people.
Make peace a priority. When it comes to holidays, one of the most stressful aspects of it can be dealing with, not only one, but two families. Unfortunately, family gatherings can be a breeding ground for conflict if there are unresolved issues from the past lingering in the space that is supposed to be filled with laughter and love. Unfortunately, these arguments can affect and spill over into your relationship if you’re not careful to avoid that. This is why it’s so important to make peace — with yourself, you partner, and those around you a priority. If people begin to argue or you feel yourself getting upset, remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible. There is no need to make a dramatic exit. Simply and respectfully excuse yourself as a way to create some distance between you and the drama so that you don’t get wrapped up in it. If, after some time it seems as if things aren’t getting any better, it’s probably best to leave, if possible, so that you are not drawn into the arguing, or worse, have an argument with your partner about it. You don’t have to “suffer” through the holidays to prove your love for your partner, his family or your own. 
