There are few things more painful than losing someone you love, whether that’s due to a breakup, divorce, death, or because the person you love does not feel the same way about you.
Experiencing a loss of any kind can trigger different emotions and beliefs that can leave you feeling hurt, insecure, disempowered, and as if you are unable to move forward in your love life.
Which of these ring true for you?
You meet and date men, but they never quite match up to “the one who got away”
You still think about what you could have done/could do to work things out with him
You constantly talk about and bring him up when speaking with friends
You cyber-stalk or try to find out information about him and his life via social media and/or friends and family
You make yourself available to see and/or talk to him in the hopes that you will reconcile
You’ve agreed to a “friends-with-benefits” relationship with him in the hopes that he will come back to you
If any of these scenarios ring true for you, consider that you are not over the man in your past.
Of course it takes time to get over a breakup. However, if it’s been more than a few months and you’re still pining over him, avoiding/resisting meeting someone else because you are still hoping and waiting that he’ll come back to you, or you find something wrong with every single man you meet, you’re actually stopping yourself from moving forward. If what you really want is a happy, loving relationship with a man who you love and who loves you back, holding onto a previous man or relationship actually blocks you from welcoming new love into your life.
There are many reasons you may be doing this, and one of the main reasons is that staying stuck in the past – as painful and unpleasant as it may feel at times – gives you a false sense of being “safe.” Safe from what?
Holding onto the past keeps you safe from –
being vulnerable and putting your heart back out there
admitting that perhaps he really wasn’t the right guy for you
risking more heartache
This false sense of safety is why we see so many women who months, years, and, yes, even decades, later, are still wondering why they can’t meet a good man, questioning what’s wrong with them, wondering whether they are meant to be happy in a relationship, and believing the lie that – for whatever reason – they are destined to not experience the joy of loving and being loved. Nothing could be further from the truth! However, as scary as it can feel, you have to be courageous enough to let go of the past so that you can open your hand and receive the love that is already waiting for you. How do you do that?
Realize that, while you may still love him, you need to love yourself even more.
Be willing to accept that the relationship is over.
Be committed to removing the love barriers that are blocking love from coming into your life so that you can experience the love, joy, and intimacy you truly desire.
If you’ve been holding onto a past relationship and you’re ready to take these steps – even if you’re scared or unsure of how to do it – click below to schedule time to talk with one of us. Click here to schedule time to talk!
We can help you identify what is standing in your way and outline some clear steps you can take to release the past and welcome in the love that you desire and deserve! You’re not alone! We’re here to help you get to the other side of heartache and experience the love that is already waiting there for you!
You deserve to be happy, to love and be loved, and to feel like the beautiful, lovable woman you are. And, while it may feel scary to let go, you don’t have to do it alone. We’re here to support you!
Like many holidays and celebrations, New Year’s Eve can trigger bitter-sweet feelings.
On one hand, it can be disheartening if you’ve gotten to the end of the year without having attained all of the goals you’d set for yourself 12 months ago. This can be particularly true if you are not in the happy, loving relationship you dream of.
On the other hand, it can be exciting and uplifting to know that you have a whole new year ahead of you filled with unlimited possibilities – with one of those real possibilities being to finally have the loving relationship your heart desires.
So, how do we reconcile the disheartening thoughts with the uplifting ones?
You can do it in 3 easy steps!
Breathe. If you’re like most women, you can be pretty hard on yourself. Many times, this is most evident in the things you tell yourself about yourself. If you’ve been putting yourself down, thinking that there must be something “wrong” with you because you haven’t manifested the love you want yet, take a deep breath and allow the love that surrounds you (and, yes, it’s always all around you and within you) to enter into your heart.
If you still don’t feel the love that surrounds you within you,
Breathe again…
Keep inhaling until you can fill your lungs anymore.
Hold it 3 seconds and envision the love filling every part of your being.
Allow love to fill you.
Do this as many times as you need to until you literally and physically feel love filling your being.
Once you are able to feel the love within you…
Release. As you exhale, release all of those negative thoughts, beliefs and toxic emotions that do not serve you. Breathe out all of the pain, sadness, and feelings of dissatisfaction. Release yourself from the hold that those disempowering thoughts create in your life. Those are the thoughts that keep you holding onto dead-end relationships, stop you from moving on, and keep you repeating dysfunctional patterns in relationships.
If you are having trouble releasing yourself from the negative thoughts, beliefs and emotions,
Go back to Step #1, Breathe, and do 2 or 3 more loving breaths.
On each exhale, envision yourself releasing all of the pain, sadness, and disempowering thoughts and emotions from your body.
With each exhalation, you are releasing what doesn’t work and allowing more love to enter you on the inhalation.
It’s okay if you feel like crying. As you do the exercise, the sad tears will turn to tears of gratitude as you allow love to enter, surround, and fill you up!
Once you feel you have released the disempowering thoughts and emotions…
Renew. In this new space, where love is what you are present to, renew your commitment to yourself to create the loving, happy, fulfilling relationship your heart desires. Commit to doing whatever it takes to transform the thoughts, words, and behaviors that have stopped you from experiencing the love you desire and deserve.
Commitment without action is nothing but wishful thinking. This is why so many people get to the end of a year without having reached the goals and dreams they declared at the beginning of the year. It’s only when you are taking consistent action in the direction of your goals and dreams that you are able to manifest them! So, to ensure that 2016 is actually different for you and you are experiencing the love your heart truly desires, follow these steps:
Identify the person/people who can teach and help you to create and experience the loving romantic relationship you want. A happily married relationship coach who can teach you the skills that will have you attract, create, and nurture a healthy romantic relationship is the best option. And, with us, you get two coaches for the price of one! 🙂
With your coach, identify 1-3 action steps you will take to create renewal in your love life.
Commit to fulfilling on those actions steps no matter what.
The reason most people do not reach their goals and manifest their dreams is because they quit. They quit on their dreams, in doing so, they give up on themselves.
This is why working with a coach is so important. You have built-in accountability.
Why?
Because, left to your own devices, you will do what you you’ve always done. You’ll do what’s comfortable, what you’re familiar with, and those are the same things that have given you the results you have now.
I’m not being negative here. This is what we all do. The results we have are consistent with the actions we’ve taken and those actions are consistent with what we’ve been committed to.
So, if you’re ready to make 2016 THE YEAR of love, intimacy, and romance for yourself, first BREATH, RELEASE, and RENEW.
Then make a real commitment to yourself to do whatever it takesto manifest the love you want.
Have your first action step be to schedule a call with one of us to help you identify your 1-3 action steps that will lead you in the direction of the relationship of your dreams!
We promise we’ll do whatever it takes to support and guide you in making your relationship dream come true.
We will stand for you, hold you accountable, and be there when you need someone to remind you just how worthy you are of having the love your heart desires!
Creating the love you want does not have to be “hard.” It can be easy when you have the right guidance and know exactly which steps to take to create the loving, happy, fulfilling relationship you desire and deserve.
Everything seems to be going perfectly, and then, all of a sudden, it happens!
He says or does something that catches you completely off-guard, sends you in a tailspin, hits all of your triggers, and you have no idea how to respond!
You know you can’t say the first thing that comes to your mind, because that would be way too disrespectful and you don’t want to push him away.
You don’t want not say something because you don’t want to send the message that what he said/did is okay.
So, you sit there – staring back aimlessly – every second seeming like an hour – wondering what the heck to say or do!
What if you knew exactly how to respond to even the most uncomfortable questions, comments or situations?
What if you had all of the answers right at your fingertips?
What if you never had to deal with sticking your foot in your mouth again?
Well, we’ve got good news for you!
We are putting together an easy-to-read, easy-to-use book that is going to give you the words and actions you need to respond to practically any situation that may come up in a relationship!
Whether you are single and dating, in a committed relationship, or married, you will have real-life scripts and steps you can use to help you respond in a way that is empowering, dignified, and feminine to even the most awkward situations!
But to make sure that we are answering YOUR questions, we need your help!
I was talking to a client the other day and she was sharing with me how she has a trouble trusting men. When you hear her story, you can understand why she feels that way. A failed marriage, due to infidelity, a failed relationship due to him not fully being over his ex when they got together, and a few other unsuccessful relationships in between. All of this helped reinforce her belief that it was difficult for her to trust men.
As we began to dig deeper into what the patterns in all of these relationships were, we began to uncover the truth about why she was finding it difficult to trust and open her heart to a new man.
Yes, the men she loved gave her reason to not trust them, but the truth was deeper than that.
There was actually a reason she was attracting these men into her life in the first place.
In fact, the real reason she was attracting men who made it difficult for her to trust had very little to do with the men.
It had to do with her.
The person she is really having trouble trusting is herself.
Trusting yourself means that you listen to heart, instead of your head.
I know, I know. You feel that listening to your heart is what’s gotten you burned in the past.
I want to invite you to open your heart and mind and consider something different.
When you don’t trust yourself to make the right choices – the choices that are aligned with your values, your truth, and what you really want – then you will likely allow something else to choose for you: Your fears.
When you allow your fears to make your choices, you always end up disappointed.
Your fear of being alone will have you choose to be with someone who isn’t really right for you.
Your fear of not finding someone else who will love you will have you hold on to a relationship that is toxic and unfulfilling.
Your fear that your partner or husband won’t love you the way he used to will have you pretend that nothing is wrong, even though all of the signs are there that the relationship is slowly (or quickly) falling apart.
On the other hand, when you trust and honor yourself and your truth:
You choose from a place of power.
You make choices that honor who you are and what you value to be true.
You’re not afraid to make these choices and you don’t feel like you have to force or impose those truths on the other person. You realize that the right man will choose to honor what’s true for you because he values who you are.
Allowing your fears to run the show leads to nothing but one disappointing heartache after another.
Learning how to start choosing from a place of power leads to you experiencing the happiness, love, and intimacy your heart truly desires.
If you’re finding it difficult to trust when it comes to relationships, I want you to ask yourself the following questions:
Do I trust myself to make the choices that are best for me when it comes to relationships?
If not, what is it that has me doubt my ability to make the right choices for myself?
How is this lack of trust impacting my relationships?
How might learning to trust myself give me different results in my relationships?
Being real with yourself and looking at what is standing in your way is the only way to transform and do something about it. It’s like any roadblock: Unless you’re clear about what is standing in your way, there is no way to avoid it and you’ll just keep slamming into it… over and over again!
If you’re ready to shift this dynamic in your life, answer the questions truthfully and then let me know what begins to open up for you. I’d love to support you in creating a real breakthrough in your love life that leads to you having the love you want and deserve!
And, by the way, as you do all of this, be gentle with yourself. Blaming, faulting, and or beating yourself up about the decisions you’ve made in the past doesn’t serve you unless you are committed to making different choices! And when you’re ready for that, get ready for your life to transform!
That’s probably of the most heartbreaking things to hear from my clients. This usually comes after a bad date, a break-up, or after not having the kind of success they want in dating and relationships.
The sad part is that they don’t say they are giving up on dating or on meeting the right guy… They say,“I’m giving up on having the love I want.”
If you’ve been in that place, you know just how painful it can be.
The disappointment and disillusion become just too much to bear and the thought of being alone for the rest of your life begins to seem less painful than believing that you can have the love you want and not seeing it happen yet.
This is why, when a client makes a comment like and still trusts us to help her do the work to get to the other side of her pain and resignation, and then reaches out to let us know she just got engaged, we just have to share it with the rest of the world!
So, today, we get to celebrate Kristin’s engagement!
Kristin worked with us as both private client and the Ready to Love Again program. She experienced the pain of heartache and the empowerment that came with removing the love barriers that were standing in her way so that she could welcome new and extraordinary love into her life!
She met a great guy who loves her as much as she loves him and who wants to spend the rest of his life showing her just that!
When I received the picture of her beautiful ring, all I could do was cry! There I was, in the middle of my son’s Boy Scouts Car Wash, laughing and crying at the same time! And I didn’t care!
I remembered just how hurt she had been and how she truly believed that she would not meet the man who would make her dreams come true! But, thankfully, Kristin was courageous enough to trust her coaches who believed in her and in her dream and weren’t ready to let her give up! She trusted us, did the work, and attracted the man of her dreams!
In her own words:
During the program, I was able to make a list of what I wanted to experience during courtship with a man. I will tell you this: I have seen every one of those things I listed with this man!”
I don’t know what comes up for you when you read and hear me say over and over again that you CAN have the love your heart desires.
I don’t know if that makes you shrug your shoulders and roll your eyes in resignation or if it inspires you to believe and step forward in faith.
Here’s what I do know. It IS absolutely true and it IS possible for YOU. It really is.
You just have to be willing to break through your fears, doubts, and resignation and begin learning and practicing the skills that are going to have you attract and create the relationship your heart truly desires.
And the best part is: You don’t have to do it alone.
As we announced last week, the Ready to Love Again Program is sold out and the doors are closed. It doesn’t matter why you didn’t choose to join us then. Whatever fears and doubts got in the way are just the ones that are used to winning out over your faith.
Today is a new day, and today you get to choose your dreams over your fears!
If you want to learn more about the Ready to Love Again Program and/or private coaching, just click the link below and set up a time to talk. During our conversation we’ll listen to what your individual goals are and let you know what we feel is the best next step for you to go in the direction of making your dream a reality!
No matter what, promise me and yourself that you won’t give up on your dream of having the loving, passionate, intimate relationship your heart desires.
There’s a reason that dream and desire is in your heart, and there is a way to make it come true!
It came true for Kristin. It came true for Michelle and me. And it CAN come true for you, too!
I know you’re hurt and unsure. I know you wonder if this is really possible for you. It is. Kristin is just one of the hundreds of women we have helped to create the loving relationships of their dreams. We didn’t let them give up on themselves or their dreams and we won’t give up on you or your dreams either!
I’ve been fighting off a bad cold this week, but I wanted to shoot a follow-up video to the one I sent you last week, because we got such great responses from it!
This week, we’re taking a look at how the thoughts that are stopping you from creating the amazing loving relationships you want are the same thoughts that are stopping you from moving forward in the other areas of your life, particularly your career!
Why is that? Watch the video and see!
The truth is that you have an amazing ability to create what it is you want in your life and, once you get to the work of transforming the doubts and limiting beliefs standing in your way, you CAN experience all of the love, happiness, and success your heart desires!
Watch the video and let me know what opens up for you!
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