I’ve been preparing and practicing my presentations for The Irresistible Woman Seminar today and I’ve been thinking of you non-stop! So I decided to cut a quick video for you and then right back to my work!
I can’t help that you keep coming to mind! Every time that I read a really powerful point or one of the heart-shifting exercises we are going to be doing this weekend, it makes me sad to think that may not be there!
I don’t know what has had you not sign up until now, but I do know one thing about you. The fact that you took the time to open the email and even read this far means that you know how committed Michelle and I are to providing you with the information that we know is going to make a difference in your love life and relationships!
How do I know that? Because you wouldn’t be a part of this community if you weren’t!
So, whatever has been stopping you from attending, I just want you to ask yourself if it really is something insurmountable, “unfixable,” or life-threatening.
If it’s not, then I’m going to ask you to do something I consistently invite my clients to do.
I invite you to be UN-reasonable!
That means I’m inviting you to stop letting your “reasons” stand in the way of having what you want!
Here’s the thing, when you really want something – a nice car or outfit, a vacation, or to reach a goal, you figure out a way to make it happen.
Family members might tell you not to do it.
Your friends may tell you you’re crazy to do it.
You may even question your own sanity.
But you do it. Because it matters to you.
If your love life matters to you, if you truly want to be in a relationship where you feel adored, and you know that you know that you are love, then I’m inviting you to put those reasons that are stopping you aside and join us for The Irresistible Woman Seminar.
It’s going to be at least a year until we have this event again.
Do you really want to keep putting your happiness, your dreams, and the love that you want on hold?
I hope not!
So, push past your excuses, be UN-reasonable and join us for a weekend that is going to have you put an end to the loneliness, frustration, and “suffering” you’ve been experiencing in love and relationships.
Time to bust another myth about why successful women can’t succeed in love!
If you read the previous blog post, you know that I touched upon another very common myth about how, in order to have a relationship, a successful woman will have to settle.
There is a pervasive belief that a successful woman will either have to settle for someone who is not as successful, someone she’s not that crazy about, or someone who’s not intimidated by her success.
All of these beliefs come from the fear of not being able to have it all – everything your heart desires. If you believe that what you want is “too much,” “too good to be true,” or “unrealistic,” then you’ll do one of two things: You’ll either try to minimize your desires, or you’ll make your expectations so insurmountable that there’s little chance of sharing your life with someone who is able to meet all of them.
Let me address minimizing your desires first.
One desire that successful women often deny is the desire to be in a loving relationship. They will say that they are perfectly happy alone – that they don’t need a man in their lives.
If they are single, they will put dating at the bottom of their very busy to-do list.
If they are in relationships, they begin to think that it’s better to move on alone than to try to make the relationship work.
First, it is important that you are happy with yourself and your life, whether or not you have a man to share it with. You’re 100% responsible for your own happiness, and a woman who is content with her life is confident and attractive.
However, if you do want to share your life with someone and you’re saying that you don’t because you’re afraid that you won’t find the right guy, it feels safer for you to be alone than to risk opening your heart to someone or to put effort into making the relationship work, then you’re not being real with yourself and that has a profound impact on how you experience life and love.
See, anytime you deny one of your heart’s desires, you are selling out on yourself – you’re denying what’s true for you.
When you do that, even if you have tons of success in other areas of your life, you will feel unfulfilled, because you won’t have what you really want. You are, in essence, being inauthentic with yourself. And, if you’re not being real with yourself, you won’t be able to be real with someone else and you will likely attract to yourself someone who is not authentic with you, either. (Prepare yourself for heartache.)
The second way you could sabotage your love life is by setting unrealistic expectations.
These expectations will either be about what the “perfect man” has to be like, do, or have, or what the “perfect relationship” must be like.
I often say, “Perfectionism is poison.” Expecting a person, situation or relationship to be perfect is setting yourself up to be disappointed.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you settle for just anyone. That would be another way of selling out on yourself and your desires. What it means is that you open yourself up to the possibility that you can have a happy, loving relationship with a man who doesn’t meet every point on your “Quality Assurance List” — a perfectly imperfect man.
Rather than focusing on all of the external characteristics a man must meet – height, weight, salary, car, home, etc. – focus on what you want to experience in the relationship, instead. Put your thoughts and intentions into how you want to feel in the relationship. This way, when you are out with a man, you are focused on you, instead of him. This also allows you to be open to meeting and getting to know more men, so that you increase your chances of meeting the right one.
If you are in a relationship, you can begin to let go of all of the expectations that are having you complain about, criticize, and trying to change your man. Instead, you can shift your focus from feeling disappointed to getting present to and appreciating the man he is and the qualities about him that had you fall in love with him in the first place! It also means learning the feminine skill of saying what would make you happy, rather than pointing out all of the things that don’t!
Many of these skills and practices don’t come easily to an independent woman, because it requires letting go of being in complete control and managing everything on your own. It means being okay with uncertainty and imperfection. It means acknowledging just how much you really do want to share your life with a man who will love and adore you, celebrate and share your success.
But these skills are necessary if you want to create a loving, intimate, passionate relationship where you get to be authentic with yourself and experience the love you truly want!
That’s why Michelle and I created The Irresistible Woman LIVE Event. We are committed to equipping successful women with the skills that will empower you to have the loving relationship you want.
You don’t have to settle for less than you truly want and deserve. You really CAN have it ALL! And we want to show you how!
During this 3-day immersive-learning event, you will discover:
The behaviors and skills that help propel you at work but repel love, connection, and partnership in a relationship
The steps you can take to create shift in yourself so that you can experience success in love
The keys to having the type of relationship you want and deserve
And so much more!
This is our way of saying thank you and honoring you for the commitment you are making to yourself and your love life!
Nothing would make us happier than to see you experiencing the success in love we KNOW you can have, so that we can celebrate it with you!
Join us and let’s start celebrating your success in love!
One of the biggest fears women I speak to have is that they are going to have to “settle” for less than they want or deserve.
The fear of having to settle for something or someone stems from a scarcity mindset that has you believe you can’t really have it all,that you want “too much,” and that “at least something is better than nothing.”
This fear of settling will impact the way you view and listen to people and situations, the way you approach dating and relationships, and the way you go about making your dreams come true.
Think about it.
If you’re feeling stuck in your love life, and there’s an underlying belief that you really can’thave the life, career, and the loving relationship that you want, how committedare you going to be to going after your dreams?
How willing will you be to push and break through the resignation, sadness and frustration that can show up when you’re not seeing the results that you want right away?
How is all of this fear and resignation showing up in your life today?
Are you in the relationship that you want?
If you are in a relationship, is it the happy, loving, and passionate you dreamed it would be?
Do you reallybelieve you can have the kind of relationship your heart desires?
If you’ve been living life inside of the fear that you’ll have to settle because you’re not going to get what you want anyway, it’s time to turn that thinking pattern around and start attracting into your life what youreally want!
What if youdidn’thave to settle? What if you really could haveeverythingyour heart desires?
Well, last week, our friend, Melissa Binkley and I hosted a teleclass where I shared how you can do just that!
If you didn’t join us on the call, I’m going to invite you to listen to the teleclass today and begin to shift that scarcity-based fear into an empowering and abundant-based reality!
And to prove how committed we are to you living from a space of abundance, we shared an incredible (CRAZY) offer with you that is only being made available to the women in our communities!
That’show committed we are to you having the success, health, happiness, and LOVE your heart desires!
So, listen to the teleclass, because the offer is about to expire (you’ll hear why on the call)!
De-Mythifying Common Myths About Why Successful Women Can’t Succeed in Love
I don’t usually like to rant or curse, but I absolutely have to call BS on this!
I am so tired of reading articles and hearing people talk about how successful, intelligent, strong women can’t find or keep love. Honestly, it’s like nails on a chalkboard to me!
Aside from the fact that it is a complete insult to women who are successful, strong, accomplished and in happy loving relationships, I don’t know if people realize just how damaging continuing to repeat that type of nonsense to yourself—and others— is!
Repeating limiting phrases like, “Men are intimidated by powerful women,”“Smart women have a hard time finding a man who won’t be threatened by them,” and “Successful women are better off being alone than being with a man who is’ beneath’ them,” perpetuates the very thing that successful women don’t want, which is to find themselves frustrated, lonely, and with no one with whom to share their success.
The truth is that there are men out there who are looking for, excited by, and attracted to women who are confident and successful! In fact, studies show that the thing men are most attracted to in a woman (besides her smile) is her confidence.
Now, are there men out there who might feel a little insecure about dating a woman is more successful than them?
Yes.
However, it’s also true that there are many men out there who would rather be with a woman who is ambitious, passionate, secure in herself and her abilities, and who also allows him the opportunity to contribute, love, and add to her happiness.
In the next few articles, I’ll be sharing five common misconceptions about successful women when it comes to love relationships, and what you can do to turn your limiting beliefs into powerful affirmations that will have you attract the type of love that you want into your life and continue to strengthen the love you already have in your relationship.
Myth #1: Men are intimidated by powerful women.
Truth: Men are intimidated by intimidating women.
As I mentioned before, confidence is very appealing to men. Few things are more attractive or alluring than a woman who is loves and accepts herself and acknowledges her value! When a confident woman steps into the room, there is a sense of self-assurance and fulfillment that draws people to her – not away from her.
What is intimidating, on the other hand, is arrogance. There is a very fine line between feeling confident about yourself and believing that who you are and the things you have achieved somehow make you better than someone else. This is repelling to both men and women alike.
Of course it’s fine to talk about the things you are proud of and the goals you have for the future. However, when sharing your accomplishments and accolades, be wary of coming across as arrogant and condescending.
Now, before you get upset about what I just said, hear me out.
There’s nothing wrong with letting a man know what your successes are, what you’ve accomplished, and what you’re up to in life, because ultimately, what you want is to share those successes with him.
What you don’t want to do, whether it’s on a date or with your romantic partner, is to have your message come across as “I’ve got this all handled by myself and don’t need or want anyone or anything else – including you – to add to the success and happiness in my life.”
The bottom line is that men want to feel needed. They want to know that even if you’ve got an amazing life, there’s something they can add to it to make it even better.
This doesn’t make men “needy” or “insecure,” any more than wanting to be loved and desired make us women “needy” or “insecure.” Men and women are simply wired differently, and part of making a relationship work means understanding and accepting those differences and doing what we can to give one another what each wants and needs.
So, the next time you’re sharing with a man your goals, accomplishments, and the things you love about yourself, remember to share in such a way that you are also extending an invitation to share those successes with him, should he be interested in being part of your extraordinary life!
Even better… If you’re a successful, professional woman who wants to experience success in both your love life and your career, grab your ticket forThe Irresistible Woman LIVE Event while you can still get them for the Early Bird price!
In the next article, I’ll be de-mythifying Myth #2: Successful women have to settle for someone less successful than them.
Monday was my first day back after a week off for vacation, and I’m excited!
It wasn’t always this way for me. I used to dread having to go back to work after being on vacation. I would think of reasons/excuses to give my boss for not having to go in that first day. I’d dread looking at my inbox and having to deal with everything that didn’t get done while I was away.
That was then…
Now, however, I absolutely love what I do and I love the women I work with, and, since it doesn’t seem like “work,” I have to be really aware of how I manage my time when I’m on vacation so that I can really take time off to relax, replenish, and renew my mind, body, and spirit before heading back to the office.
One of the concerns I get from professional women is that they fear their partner won’t understand and feel comfortable with their drive and determination when it comes to their careers. They worry that their partners will somehow feel “threatened” or intimidated by their success.
That’s why one of the ways I create harmony between my work and personal life is by making agreements – both with myself and my husband.
See, my husband knows how much my clients mean to me. He knows that, if they are in the middle of a crisis in their relationships, it wouldn’t sit right with me to just ignore them because I’m on vacation. He also knows that I’m in the middle of planning two huge projects, and, if something came up around them, I’d need to at least be aware of it in order to delegate the issue to someone else.
What my husband also knows beyond a shadow of a doubt is that he and the boysmean more to me than anything else, and that I consider the time I spend with them precious.
So, before going on vacation, we agreed on what our days would look like and what I would do to manage anything that might come up regarding work. This way, rather than being on the phone checking email all day long, I had had certain times designated when I would check in, look to see what I needed to respond to, and the rest of the time was 100% family fun time!
By creating and honoring an agreement about what I would do/not do while on vacation, I took 100% responsibility for my happiness and for the work that would/would not get done that week. I also sent the message to my husband and kids that they are my priority and that, after those few minutes when I did work during the day, they had my undivided attention.
Because of this agreement, I didn’t have to feel “guilty” about answering or not answering an email. I kept to my schedule and did everything I could to be present with and enjoy the time I spent with my in-loves (my term for “in-laws).
The even better part was that, because my intention was to be fully present with my family and I was willing to work a little harder and longer the 2 weeks prior to vacation, I actually had very little I had to attend to work-wise during the week! (It’s just like it says in one of the books I finished reading while on vacation, The Alchemist: “…when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”!)
In this case, the universe, my family, my team, and I conspired to make sure that I had a fun a restful vacation! But it didn’t “just happen.” Like everything else in life that it is important, it took setting a clear intention and planning!
A relationship is a partnership.
Creating agreements with your partner is one of the essential keys to making that partnership work. When making agreements, keep these things in mind:
Only promise what you fully intend to fulfill. It’s important that you determine what you are willing to do and that you fully intend to honor the agreement.
Keep the agreement. Even more important than making an agreement is keeping the agreement. In honoring the agreement, you send the message to your partner that he can trust you to honor your word (in this case, as well as in the rest of the relationship).
The truth is that the majority of the problems in relationships can be traced back to one or both of the partners not having kept a promise or agreement that was made.
Does this mean you’ll never break a promise or that you’ll keep every single agreement you ever make?
No.
The goal, of course, is to strive for that. But, if you fail to keep an agreement, follow these steps.
Acknowledge that the agreement wasn’t kept. Don’t ignore the broken agreement or pretend as if nothing happened. Honor yourself and your partner by acknowledging how the agreement was broken.
Apologize for whatever you did on your end to break the agreement.
Make a new agreement (keeping in mind that you fully intend to honor it this time).
Do everything in your power to honor the agreement.
Your relationship is the most important partnership you’ll ever have.
While this doesn’t mean you won’t have other partnerships or projects that are important to you, it does mean that striving to make that partnership work needs to be a daily priority. Making and keeping agreements is one way to make sure your partnership works!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
You may have noticed that I’ve been a little “quieter” than usual over the past couple of weeks. There is a very GOOD reason for that!
See, Michelle and I are working on some really great and yummy things for you, all while I was also planning a week-long vacation with my family and family-in-love (my hubby’s brother, sister-in-love, and my mother-in-love)!
As a wife, mother, and entrepreneur, it’s important to me that I build my business around my family.
Do I want to succeed? YES!
Do I want to make a difference in the world? YES!
Do I want to be the best wife and mother I can be? YES!
Now, some people might say that it’s “humanly impossible” to do and succeed in all of these areas at the same time.
I call BS on that!
It IS possible to have BOTH a thriving and successful business/career and a loving, passionate relationship, if that’s your true intention.
Now, is it always “easy” to have it all? NO.
To take this week off and spend as much time playing, laughing, and relaxing with my family, it took some pre-planning, putting things in motion, and being willing to work a little longer than I usually do.
It took reaching out to my coaches and mastermind sisters to get the support and encouragement I needed to believe that I COULD complete my projects AND have time to play with my family.
It took letting my family know that I would be putting in longer hours and be more focused on my work for one week so that I could have fun with them for another.
It took asking for help and support from my team – both Team Diaz and Team Heart’s Desire – and letting go of the things I could not control.
And you know what? It worked!
Everything that needed to get done prior to leaving on vacation got completed, Michelle and I had a WONDERFUL time speaking at the Jazz in the Gardens Women’s Impact Conference and Luncheon, where many women registered to attend The Irresistible Woman Seminar, and our virtual assistant handled all of the behind-the-scenes work for our upcoming virtual event!
When your intention is to have everything your heart desires and you’re willing to do the work to have it be so, you really CAN have it ALL!
Whether you are single and trying to figure out how to continue having a thriving career while also finding time to attract and date the man with whom you will spend your life, or you’re a woman who is married or in a relationship and you want to continue growing your business or career while also growing closer to the man you love, there are steps you can take to ensure that you are experiencing all of the love, success, and happiness you desire.
Set a clear intention. Saying, “I want to be successful,” or “I want to be in a relationship” is not clear enough. You need to clearly define what “successful” and “a relationship” looks and feels like for you.
Career intention: Does “successful” mean having a certain title or income level? Does it mean having an organization of a certain size? How many hours do you want to work? What type of lifestyle (home, vacation time and places, location) do you want to have?
Relationship Intention: What does a successful relationship look like to you? When you close your eyes and envision yourself in the relationship of your dreams, how do you feel? What is the experience of loving and being loved that you want to have every day, for the rest of your life?
Create a plan of action. A dream without a plan is nothing more than a wish. Once you have your clear intention begin planning from the end and work your way back.
Career Plan: If you want to achieve a certain title at work in a year, what where would you need to be 2 months prior? To reach that level, at which level would you need to be 2 months prior to that, and so on. What are the steps you would need to take at each level to reach the next level? Who would you need to help support you? Have your action plan steps be as clear as the intention you set and as closely aligned to your intention as possible.
Relationship Plan for Singles: If you want to be married in a year, and you’re not out there dating, consider that, a year from now you will probably find yourself in the same exact place you find yourself in now. So, if you want to be married in a year, where would you need to be in your relationship 2 months prior to getting engaged? How well would you need to know each other before you’d be willing to commit your life to someone? How long would you like to date him? How often would you like to see and spend time with him? Make your plan clear, allowing for joy of being pleasantly surprised, but get into action, or don’t be surprised if there’s no guy, no relationship, and no proposal a year from now!
Relationship Plan for Girlfriends and Wives: If you’re in a relationship and you’d like to experience more support for your career goals and dreams, as well as more romance and passion in your relationship, what are the things standing in the way of experiencing that now? Are you holding onto resentment, or are you ready to forgive? Are you communicating openly and authentically with your husband or boyfriend? Are you complaining about him not being supportive or inviting him to be part of your dreams? Whatever it is you want to experience in your relationship, be honest with yourself and be willing to take the action steps that will lead you in the direction of your dream!
Get committed. One of the most critical aspects of having it ALL is your level of committed. Saying you want something and being willing to do the work it takes to have it are two completely different things! Remind yourself that this is YOUR life, YOUR dream, and WHY this is important to you.
Career Commitment: Keep in mind that there are probably at least 10 other people in your company or line of work who want to achieve a high level of success. The only thing that separates the people who achieve their goals from the ones who don’t is their level of commitment, which includes persistence and resolve. Anticipate that not everything will go according to your plan, but use each setback as an opportunity to learn and catapult you in the right direction. The only reason you will have for not reaching your goal is if you quit!
Relationship Commitment: Having a loving, passionate, intimate relationship doesn’t have to be hard work, but it does take work. Joining two separate individuals – with all of their past, history, and habits – to create one solid and successful partnership takes patience, understanding, and commitment. Everything won’t always run smoothly. You won’t always see eye-to-eye. There may be times when you wonder whether leaving is a more viable option than staying and doing the work to make your relationship work. However, the only thing that distinguishes relationships that last from those that don’t is the willingness to commit to finding a way to make things work. Assuming the man you are with is good and right for you, don’t be afraid of investing your time and heart in building a solid foundation for a love that will stand the test of time!
Having the time to relax and play with my family without worrying about having to work, check email, and wonder if my projects would get completed in time was a big enough “WHY” for me to set a clear intention about what I wanted to accomplish the past two weeks, to create a plan and put in the extra hours I needed to in order to ensure the work got done, and to commit to following the plan, even when I was tired, even when I thought I was crazy for thinking I could really make this work!
The results?
Having a blast with my husband and kids, romantic moments with my husband, getting to hold my baby nephew for the first time and smother him with love and kisses, and having fun time with my family-in-love!
Yeah… I’d say it was all well-worth being able to have it ALL!
P.S. If you’re a successful, professional woman who wants to create a life where you can experience success in your career AND a loving, passionate relationship, make sure you join us for The Irresistible Woman Seminar while Early Bird prices and the 2-payment option is still available!
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