Today’s a bit of a sentimental one for me. My older son – my first baby – turned 13 today!
I keep looking at his baby pictures, remembering thousands of magical moments, and keep asking myself, “How in the world did 13 years go by this fast?!?”
This got me thinking about how easy it is to put things off for later, to fool ourselves into thinking that there are things that can wait until tomorrow, and leaving things undone and unsaid until another day.
I’ll admit it. I fall into this trap, too. And I should know better!
I know that tomorrow isn’t promised. I’ve lost people I love, like my dad, my first husband, and my best friend just four months ago. I also know someone who just lost her daughter last week, and my heart breaks for her.
The truth is that there are things in our lives – unimportant, insignificant things like painting a room or cleaning out a closet – that can wait until the next day, next month, or next year to get done or taken care of.
Your love life or relationship, however, is NOT one of them!
If one of the deepest desires of your heart is to share your life with a man who loves, supports, and adores you, and not having that loving, happy relationship you’ve always wanted and dreamed of is not present in your life right now, then it’s not something you want to ignore or pretend that it isn’t important to you.
And doing nothing about it is definitely not going to bring that love you want into your life!
So, what do you do?
The first step is to acknowledge the desires of your heart.
Wanting to share your life with a man is not a sign of “neediness,” weakness, or that you aren’t happy with yourself.
Wanting to transform and renew the relationship with the man you love is not a waste of time, or senseless.
It’s simply acknowledging what your heart already knows to be true!
The next step is to look to see what it is that is standing in the way of you having what you want.
It’s important to look within on this one. Saying that something or someone outside of you is what’s standing in the way of you having your heart’s desires has you feel powerless because, well, you are.
There isn’t anything outside of you that is 100% in your realm of control. So, while there may be some outside factors that may be contributing to you not having your heart’s desires, you want to focus your energy on the thought and behavior patterns that keep being repeated over and over again in your relationship.
For the next 3 days, really notice your thoughts and behaviors, particularly when it comes to dating or your relationship. Notice what the most recurring thoughts and actions are – especially the ones that lead to disappointment or frustration. Jot them down in a notebook or in your phone. This is going to give you some truly eye-opening information you can use for the next step
The third step is to take intentional and inspired action to transform those thoughts and behaviors that keep sabotaging your chances of having the love you want.
Once you’ve noticed the thought and behavior patterns that are blocking you from experiencing the love and happiness you want in your relationship, choose one you want to stop. I recommend beginning with the one that is causing you the most pain. However, since all of them are sabotaging your happiness, choose any one of them and focus on transforming that thought or behavior.
Some of the best ways to transform thought and behavior patterns are to make a list of affirmations and inspired actions you will take the next time you feel triggered or fall into the pattern.
Now, it takes a high level of awareness to (1) catch yourself before you fall into the pattern, (2) interrupt the pattern, (3) and replace it with a new, effective, and empowering pattern. It’s always most effective when you have a coach or mentor who can help you create your action plan and provides accountability so that you don’t slip back into the old, familiar, dysfunctional patterns.
If you’re truly serious about having today be the day you begin transforming your love life and relationship, I invite you to try this for the next 24 days:
- Acknowledge the desires of your heart when it comes to love.
- Truly make a concerted effort over the course of 3 days to notice the thought and behavior patterns that sabotage you having what you most want.
- Choose one of those dysfunctional patterns that you would like to transform.
- Create an inspired action plan that has you being intentional about replacing and transforming that thought and/or behavior pattern.
- Carry out the plan for 21 days. It takes a minimum of 21 days to create a new pattern or habit, so this will allow you to practice daily replacing the dysfunctional thoughts and behaviors with new ones that give you the results you want.
If you’d like support or feedback regarding your inspired plan of action, especially steps 4 and 5, simply schedule a complimentary Love Breakthrough Session with me and we’ll talk about the best way to interrupt your old patterns of sabotage and replace them with new patterns that lead you to the love your heart desires!
Tomorrow isn’t promised, and today – right now – is the perfect time for you to stop putting your happiness off for another day. You have the power within you to create the love you want. You were created to love and be loved. Don’t let anything stand in the way of you having the love you desire and deserve! Schedule your Love Breakthrough Session now!
