Heart's Desire Intl | heartsdesireintl

Do You Feel Confident or Desperate?

by heartsdesireintl | Oct 25, 2019 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Do you know anyone– maybe a girlfriend – who seems desperate when it comes to dating?

Have you ever been on a date with someone and you could just feel the desperation coming off of them? (Yes, men can put of these vibes, too!)

Maybe you’re the one that feels like you get weird when you’re interested in someone, and maybe you feel like, no matter how hard you try, all you ever do is push men away?

Think about this for a minute… Are you operating out of Desperation or Desire?

The feeling of desperation comes from FEAR.

You feel like it’s not going to happen for you, or that it’s going to be hard.

You worry about what to say, what not to say, why he’s not texting, if you should text first.

The truth is that you’re in a scarcity mindset, which has you think that every guy HAS to be the one, so you MUST make it work.

Sound familiar?

When you’re operating out of desire you feel FREE.

You’re aligned with what turns your heart on and you know you can be yourself and be loved for just that.

You’re clear about what you want and your behavior, words, and being all align with creating that.

Operating out of desire is how you manifest what you want. It is the only way that works.

When you stop operating out of fear and desperation, everything in life changes. Everything.

The thing is, you might not even realize that FEAR is what is driving you.

You may think that because you’ve made your checklist for your perfect man that you know what you want and that desire is driving you, but listen up, because this may surprise you.

And, by the way, desperation isn’t a single’s-only phenomenon. Women in relationships act out of desperation, too!

Acting out of desperation looks like checking his things, dropping hints, being controlling or asking leading questions to manipulate your guy or get him to say or do something you want.

In dating, it might look like pursuing a man in dating – calling him, asking him on dates, suggesting you meet up, “coincidentally” showing up at a place he might be in hopes of running into him – all of this is pursuing.

Desperation can even look like sleeping with a man too soon, getting into a relationship before you know his character and his values or compromising your own values in order to get with him.

In a relationship, it can look like having to approve his every decision, trying to guilt him into doing things, and even trying to get him to talk when he prefers to go into his man cave.

When you’re coming from this place, you are in a state of scarcity. You’re afraid you’re not going to get what you want, so you WORK HARD to make sure that you do.

Desperation has a VERY STRONG energy associated with it, and men can feel it a mile away!

So how do you shift into the easy, breezy, flowy, energy that is so attractive to be around?

Recognize when you’re in fear. As humans, we’re always going to feel fear. Power comes from recognizing that fears are only thoughts and that it’s the fears that are causing you to do the things you don’t want to do.
Be CRYSTAL-CLEAR about what you want. When you know what you want, you can see right away when something (or someone) doesn’t align with that. Act out of intention and make adjustments to your behavior, communication, boundaries, etc., so that everything is in alignment with what you want to create.
BONUS Tip: It is not enough to desire to be “in a relationship.” Being crystal-clear means asking questions like: What type of relationship do you want? What do you want to experience inside that relationship? How do you want to feel? What types of things do you want to do together? The clearer you are, the more powerful the intention is.
Recognize where you are not aligned, and shift. What are you doing that’s not aligned with that you want? What are the ways of you being that you get to create inside yourself in order to be aligned with your desires? Do you want to be able to be yourself and not feel judged inside of a relationship? Then BE yourself and don’t judge others. BE the love you want to see!

Lots of love,

Gladys & Michelle

The Love Twins

If You Believe it, You WILL receive the Love You Want

by heartsdesireintl | Oct 10, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Uncategorized

by Gladys Diaz

What is it that’s running the show in your head?

Are you hearing, listening to and believing the annoying “elevator noise” that plays in the background 95% of the time? That noise that makes you question if you can really have the love you desire?

OR do you have a deep and knowing belief that you CAN and WILL have that love?

The first step in creating the relationship of your dreams – that deep, connected, epic friendship, partnership and companionship that you desire and deserve – is to BELIEVE you can have it!

We have a client and friend who is getting married tomorrow! We’re so excited for her, because we’vebeen along for the journey of her learning to believe she could have the relationship of her dreams.

When we met her last year in a leadership course we were taking together, she did not believe. She was carrying around so much pain from the past. There were so many limiting beliefs she had about men always leaving her, that men couldn’t be trusted, that she’d never find the relationship she craved. At the core of it all, she believed she wasn’t lovable.

To look at her, you would not guess that was the case, but she truly believed that.

So what was she creating?

Men leaving her.

Men ghosting her after one date.

Men disappointing her everywhere she turned.

She had these limiting beliefs and she kept creating the situations that would make her right about them. And she was miserable.

But then things started to shift. She started to do the HeartWork that would allow her to shift those limiting beliefs, to let go of all of that pain from past choices and experiences, and allow herself to experience the love she was longing for.

She set a goal to be in a committed relationship by a certain date. She needed to be in that relationship by that date in order to graduate from the program we were in. As the date drew closer and closer, there were so many people (not us!) urging her to change her goal – to make it more “realistic” – so that she could graduate from the program.

But she didn’t want to.

She wasn’t being stubborn. She was being committed. The inner work she had done had shifted her into the place of REALLY BELIEVING she could have the relationship she desired. Why would she change her goal when she knew she would eventually have it?

She didn’t graduate from the program at that time. Her desire to have the relationship of her dreams was greater.

But… she’s graduated since!

As she continued to do the work to shift old belief and behavior patterns, she started experiencing something completely different in dating. She started enjoying it! She started meeting incredible men who were doing great things with their lives. She started trusting herself to make good decisions. And not too long after that, she he found her!

And he was so ready to be in a relationship with her that moved his entire life to be close to her.

He proposed.

And tomorrow they’re getting married!!!

All because she did the HeartWork and finally started to believe she could create and have the love she wanted.

What do you want?

What do you believe?

What are you doing about it?

You can create vision board, recite affirmations, and think positive all day long, but if you are affirming over a limiting belief that hasn’t been transformed yet, it just won’t work.

When you don’t truly believe – down to the subconscious level – that you can have what you want, that’s when you engage in self-sabotaging behaviors.

Your subconscious kicks in, and those automatic patterns that stem from your beliefs start running the show.

But guess what!?! You don’t have to do keep trying to figure this out on your own anymore. And, if you think you do, what is under the belief that makes you believing that you do?

Love it a birthright. It’s not something you have to deserve or earn. It’s already waiting for you .

When you believe it.

That’s the main thing that surprised our friend when she finally found the love of her dreams. She didn’t have to try. She didn’t have to prove anything to him. He just loved her. He loved her just for who she was.

In order to create the relationship you desire (or anything in your life for that matter!), you have to first see it, feel it, believe it, and then you will receive it.

Can you see it? Can you envision what it is that you want?

Can you feel it? Are you intimate with what it feels like to be in the relationship of your dreams?

Do you believe it? Have you transformed whatever doubt or limiting belief it is that’s getting in the way?

And are you ready to receive it?

If you’re readyand you know there is something getting in the way but you just can’t figure out what is, Book a Love Breakthrough Session here.

Your breakthrough can happen so fast! Then you can be on your way to creating the loving relationship your heart desires.

You don’t have to do this alone. You CAN have the love you deserve.
Let’s make it happen…together!

Are You Ready To Trust?

by heartsdesireintl | Oct 5, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Forgiveness, Intimacy, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Romance

by Gladys Diaz

Do you feel like your intuition is broken?

Do you feel like you don’t know what’s best, or how to make the right decisions?

Do you feel like you can’t trust men? Your friends? Yourself?

That last one’s important, because… if you can’t trust yourself, how are you ever going to be able to trust anyone else?

The other day I was talking to a woman, and, as we were talking, the issue of trust just kept coming up. Finally, I asked, “How many times have you experienced someone cheating on you?” Her answer shocked me for someone for her age. It was over 5 times! As we continued talking, we discovered that the issue of infidelity was something that had been in her family for years. – Of course she has a hard time trusting men!

As women, our biggest need is to feel safe. How can we feel safe with others when we feel we can’t trust the person we’re with?

I was there, too. Because of the alcohol abuse, abandonment, and pretending that I engaged in during in my childhood to hide what was going on in our home from everyone around me, I had trouble trusting people. My thought was, “If I can’t trust my own mother, how am I ever going to trust anyone else, or even myself.

Because of that limiting belief, I wasn’t making the best decisions about who I was allowing into my life, and I kept attracting the wrong guys. I was dating terrible men – mean men who didn’t love, honor, or respect me.

When I started to do my HeartWork, I forgave my mom, my ex-boyfriends, and myself for the choices we had all made. Not long after that, I met Ric. He was so authentic! His honesty was something I found super-attractive. I took my time getting to know him, saw that I could trust myself to choose a good man, and the rest is history! How grateful I am that I learned how to trust??? Very!

Here’s the thing… if you’re feeling like you don’t trust others – especially men – then y consider that you don’t trust yourself.

So…How do you shift that?

Here’s the formula that Michelle and I use with our clients to help them know whether it’s their intuition that’s guiding them or if it’s their fears, limiting beliefs, and superstitions doing the talking.

It’s simple.

If it’s your intuition, then there is evidence of it around you.

If it’s your fears, limiting beliefs, and superstitions then you’re making up the evidence.

What if you can’t tell the difference?

Give yourself some space. Detach from the situation a little bit so that you can see what’s actually happening and what’s not happening.

Take a look and see if maybe you’re making something up that’s not actually happening in reality?

Is a memory being triggered?

Are you choosing to ignore something that is happening?

Are you crossing and not honoring your own boundaries for someone else?

When you take a step back and look at it with new eyes, I promise you you’ll be able to hear what your intuition is telling you!

And then you get to trust it and yourself to make the choice that’s right for you!

If you’re having a lot of trouble trusting others and don’t know where to start, start by forgiving yourself for the choices you’ve made in the past and give yourself permission to move on! Because the time is now.

There are 88 days left in 2019.

Eighty-eight!

Are you living the Love Resolution you made at the beginning of the year?

Are you where you want to be on December 31^st, or is there a gap?

If you’re not there yet, the good news is that THERE ARE STILL 88 days to create a real shift!

We have a client who just got a promise ring from her man, and another that is getting married next week! There is still time for YOU to create the love of your dreams in 2019.

If you’re not sure where to start, click here to schedule a complimentary call with us about The Ready to Love Again Program, a 12-month coaching program for single women who want to attract the right man and create the relationship of their dreams (enrollment closes October 8^th, so don’t wait!):

Trust yourself and book a Love Breakthrough Session here!

Just a quick note: the only way to reserve a spot in the program is to chat with us, so that together, we can determine whether it’s a good fit for you, right now.

You get to create that love for yourself and what better time than right now?

Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life?

by heartsdesireintl | Sep 26, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, heartache, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz

The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.

Think about that for a minute.

What small choices have you made today at work that are impacting your love life?

What are the reasons and excuses you use to put things off, not go after what you really want, and things that you tell yourself about your health, career, or finances to make yourself feel better about not having the loving, passionate lifelong relationship you really want?

There’s a “BIG TRAP” that way too many women fall into that actually sabotages them from having the highest levels of love, success and happiness that are available to them.

What’s “The BIG TRAP”?: It’s the “either/or” conversation.

It sounds something like:

I need to focus on my business/career right now.

I have to put my kids first.

I need to get my finances in order before I start dating.

I need to _____ (lose weight, finish school, start my business… you can fill in your own blank) before I can make my love life a priority.

What you’re really saying is:

I can either be a great mom OR have a thriving career.

I can either focus on losing weight OR dating.

I can either focus on school OR on building my relationship.

The fact is, NONE OF THAT IS TRUE!!

Anytime you are in an “Either/O” conversation, you are in a full-blown scarcity conversation and you’re letting your fears choose for you.

Whenever you’re thinking that you can’t have everything you desire, you’re actually stopping yourself from making your dreams come true. You’re not letting your commitment choose for you, heck, you’re not even letting your reality choose for you. You’re allowing your fear run you and your life.

What if YOU could choose what you want, instead?

What if you believed that YOU were powerful enough to create and have EVERYTHING you desire right NOW?

I know you think you’re choosing when you’ve convinced yourself that you’re simply being responsible or honorable, or that it’s what you should do when you’re choosing to put your dreams to the side.

But, honestly, who’s really telling you that?

The #1, most important, longest-lasting and most intimate relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. And, just how is that relationship every going to be a loving, fulfilling one if you’re constantly telling yourself that you can’t have what you want?

Think about it this way:

Do you want to be with a partner that’s constantly telling you what you can and can’t do, that you shouldn’t go for what you really want, that what you want isn’t possible, , that it’s not the right time for you to make your dreams come true, and that you’re being “irresponsible” when you are simply following the desires of your heart

I don’t think so!

I doubt it!

So, if you don’t want to be with a partner who’s always telling you that, then it’s time to stop telling yourself that.

You can be responsible AND invest in your love life.

You can be responsible AND follow your dreams.

You can create a permanent state of abundance AND love AND success.

But you can’t do it alone.

Why are we such a stand for this, and why can we say this so confidently? Because we are living it!!

This isn’t hoping, wishing, “theory” or positive thinking.

This is OUR LIFE. And it’s the life of the thousands of women who we help create the lasting loving relationships AND the abundant, successful lives their hearts desires.

It’s sooooo important that you are selective about who you allow to whisper in your ear and tell you what is possible and how to create the life and love you want.

Let someone who’s got the mindset, the leadership, the skills AND the results that you want to be the one whispering (and, sometimes, yelling) in your ear.

Start living your life from a place of COMMITMENT to creating and living the life and love you want right now!

We know this kind of straight-forward truth isn’t for everyone.

Some people who started reading this email having gotten this far. They either closed the email, hit “reply” to tell us off, or are judging us in some way.

We. Don’t. Care.

Our commitment to women finally getting themselves out of this “Either/Or Trap” and creating the kind of loving relationships they have always dreamed of is BIGGER than our fear that you may be getting triggered because you don’t like what we’re saying.

But, if you’re the kind of woman who is willing to feel uncomfortable and do what it takes to break through whatever it is that has been standing in the way of you having the love you want, then we invite you to book a call with us.

See, the doors to our programs are closing. After that you’ll have to wait another year – a whole other year of not having the love, romance, passion, and happiness you deserve and say you want. You simply need to know what to stop doing and what to start doing differently so that you can create that relationship with ease and SPEED.

Our programs are by invitation-only. You can’t find out about them online.

It’s only by having a conversation with one of our team members that we can decide whether working with us is your next best step.

If it is, we’ll make an invitation and tell you about it. If it’s not, we’ll be honest and make some recommendations we feel will help you get the results you want.

So, if you’re still reading and you want to finally stop wasting time, energy, and hope on relationships that just don’t work, book a call and see if working with us a good fit. Tell your fears to shut up and tell your dreams that they’re worth it.

Because, remember how we said that how you do one thing is how you do everything?

If you’re not booking a call to see if we can support you with your relationship goals, then notice you are honoring your fears (and how this isn’t the only place in your life where they are running the show). It’s just that simple.

Where do you want to go? What’s getting in the way? Why are you having the same conversations over and over and nothing changes?

Be resourceful. Pull yourself forward. Honor yourself. Book a call.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session here

This is your life. This is your dream. Fight for it!

Are You Repelling Men?

by heartsdesireintl | Sep 19, 2019 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Did you know there are specific behaviors that turn a man off – specific things you may be doing (maybe even unknowingly!) that cause men to shut down or turn away from you?

If so, listen up! Because this is important for EVERY WOMAN, whether you’re dating, in a relationship, or married. Don’t get trapped in the thought that now that you’ve “got him.” A high-quality man wants a high-quality woman, so always remember how important it is to BE the woman he fell in love with in the first place.

There are three behaviors that are like mosquito repellent to a man – they just shut him right down. So, lean in, listen up, and even if you’ve heard these things before, open up to what you might be able to hear or understand differently that might just change your love life.

Being Insecure or Needy

No one likes a needy person, right? But how do you know if you’re being needy?

“Needy” and “insecure” look like being DEPENDENT on the other person for your happiness, for your safety, your security, your confidence. It looks like NEEDING validation from your partner.

For example, are you waiting for him to call you before you can start your day? Are you waiting for him to compliment you in order to feel good about yourself? Are you constantly in a state of worry about how he feels about you?

When you show up this way, you start to feel like a burden or an obligation to a man. It’s repelling. Men (just like you!) want to feel inspired to do something, not required to do it.

So, what can you do instead?

First, you must be secure enough in yourself to know that your worth comes from within you. Without that, you will almost always show up as needy and insecure. If you recognize that you are someone that shows up this way in relationships, do the HeartWork and ask yourself, “Where is that coming from?” and “Why is it that I show up that way?” As you do, you’ll be able to uncover your limiting beliefs and begin to shift them.

Secondly, step back and provide opportunities for him to step in. Men like to feel needed and that they have a purpose. So, it’s not just about allowing him to help you or be there for you. It’s also about giving the space for him to choose to do so.

Being Dramatic

If you were at our event last weekend, you heard it straight out of our husbands’ mouths: Men hate it when women are dramatic!

Let’s fill you in on what being dramatic can look like, because, while being insecure and needy is pretty obvious, this one can disguise itself in many ways.

Maybe you’re not dramatic per say, but perhaps you look for things to go wrong. Or, when things are going well, you get bored and begin looking for things that are going wrong as a way to (dysfunctionally) create excitement in the relationship. Maybe you are always worrying that something is going to go wrong, or you overthink everything your partner says and does.

All of these behaviors create drama and impact the peace and flow of the relationship.

By engaging in this behavior, you don’t allow yourself to experience joy. So, what can you do instead?

Look for the things to be grateful for. Look for the things that are going right. Whatever you look for, you will find, so why not look for what’s going well? And, if you start to feel the pull for worry or drama, recognize it, feel where it’s coming from in your body, and make a conscious choice to shift into a higher vibration.

Being Controlling

The third behavior that turns a man off is being controlling. Have you felt your partner pull away? Has he stopped sharing things with you? Have you stopped talking about the important things in your lives?

If this feels like what is happening for you, take a look at how you may be showing up as controlling because, like being dramatic, it can show up in ways you may not even realize!

Being controlling looks like saying, “How come you…?”, “Why do you…?”, “Why can’t you…?”, or “You should…” It might even sound like, “What I would have done is…” or “I really wish you would have…” When you’re constantly second-guessing your partner, you are actually questioning his ability to think for himself. And you can imagine how unpleasant that feels, especially when it’s happening all the time!

A more subtle way of being controlling is complaining. When you complain, you do two things:

1) you show up as dramatic (and we already went over that one!), and

2) you emasculate your partner by making him feel like he’s not capable of pleasing you.

So, what can you do instead?

Bite Your Tongue. Does this mean you lose your voice in the relationship? Absolutely not! It means that you choose the words you say wisely. When you feel like questioning his decision, instead say, “I see you’ve given this a lot of thought.” If he asks what you think he should do about something, instead of jumping in and telling him what to do, say “Well, what were you thinking?”

Men want to know that you support them and trust them. Show them that through your actions and words, and your relationship will be golden!

You get to choose to take information and either have it make a difference in your relationships or not. Remember: Information doesn’t make the difference. It’s in the application or practice of the information that the transformation takes place.

So, if you have a specific pattern or behavior that you’re beginning to recognize is sabotaging your dating or your relationship, let us know so we can help you dismantle and replace it!

We want you and every woman to have a happy, loving healthy relationship so that you are having the experience of loving and being loved every day of your life.

So, if anything is standing in the way of that, hit reply to this email and tell us which of the 3 repelling behaviors is most impacting your relationships, and we’ll give you some next steps you can take to create a shift in your love life RIGHT NOW.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session here!

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