Heart's Desire Intl | Communication

How to Create More Intimacy With Your Man

by heartsdesireintl | Nov 30, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

Let me ask you a couple of questions:

How much connection and intimacy do you feel in your relationship?
How effective is your communication?

Did you know that communication and intimacy are 100% linked in a relationship?

Communication is key! You can have all the love in the world, and if you don’t know how to communicate effectively, then the relationship simply will not work.

98% of the coaching we do is around communication.

Why? Because it’s one of the most important aspects of any relationship (and it begins when you’re dating!).

99% of divorces and break-ups happen because root issues in a relationship never get resolved because the couple doesn’t know how to communicate clearly, effectively, and in a way that BOTH partners feel heard and understood.

Let me paint the picture for you of how this happens. I’m sure you’re going to be able to relate.

Do you ever have the experience when you’re talking to your partner that you’re not even sure whether you’re having the same conversation?

I remember before Ric and I learned the tools we teach now — sometimes it would feel like we were so far from being on the same page that it was like we weren’t even in the same room!

We were both so committed to being right that we weren’t even listening to each other.

We would be talking about something completely innocent, like what bread we like to buy, and then I would say something, Ric would say something different, which made me feel like he didn’t hear or understand what I said.

So, I’d say it again, but louder this time, and he still wouldn’t understand, and, before we knew it, we were yelling at each other, saying things we didn’t mean, being disrespectful, and hurting each other.

And then we wouldn’t talk for two or three days.

Well, we would talk a little, but it would be what I like to call the “caveman’s grunt.” I would ask Ric a question and he would give me a one-syllable or one-word answer under his breath, to let me know that he didn’t want to talk to me. (Ugh!)

Sound familiar?

That’s how break-ups and divorce happen.

Arguments start over silly (or sometimes important) things, the communication breaks down, and soon you’re arguing about something completely unrelated.

Then the silent treatment begins, and the real problem never gets resolved.

So, do you want some real communication tools?

Do you want to stop getting frustrated with your spouse, getting angry and then reacting instead of responding thoughtfully and intentionally?

Do you want to know what to say so that when your spouse says, “What did you say?” instead of repeating the same words louder, you can respond in a way that will make you feel understood and heard (and loved)?

Do you want to know how to utilize your intention, tone and body language in your communication to increase love and intimacy?

These are just a few of the things you’ll learn inside our Black Friday Special, the New Year New Love Bundle!

Grab the New Year, New Love Bundle Now!

We are passionate about supporting women to communicate effectively because we know personally the painful consequences poor communication can have on a relationship.

We want you to have all the tools that will have you communicate in a way that has you create the love, connection and intimacy you desire with your partner! .

Click here to amp up the intimacy in your relationship!

Tip: This offer goes away TODAY, so act now.

Extraordinary Success AND Extraordinary Love!

by heartsdesireintl | Oct 15, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Getting engaged, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship Advice, Success, Successful Women

4by Gladys Diaz

There are many women who believe they have to choose between having a successful business or a great relationship. They truly don’t believe it’s possible to have both.

What do you believe?

Here’s the deal: if you believe that you can’t have both, you are living in a scarcity conversation, and you’re actually blocking the success you could be experiencing in BOTH!

This week on Love Chat with the Love Twins, we featured some incredible women, colleagues and dear friends of ours, who are rocking it in their business as well as their love lives. Through these conversations, we really highlighted how not only is it possible for you to have both – but it actually makes all of it even better!

In one of the interviews, we got to hear from Amy Yamada’s partner, Ken, who shared his experience as a man being in partnership with such an incredible and successful woman!

High-quality men want to support, be in contribution to, and pour into a high-quality woman. Ken shared how much more attracted he was to Amy knowing that she was an entrepreneur and motivational speaker.

For her, at first, she felt uneasy sharing about her business with him for fear of being in here “masculine” energy. But when she decided to lean into being her authentic self, which includes being an entrepreneur , it allowed him to really see her, and it ended up being one of the things that most attracted him to her.

He said he simply wouldn’t have been attracted to her if she had not led with that.

NOT the fact that she was a business woman, but that she was AUTHENTIC.

What more proof do you need, ladies?!

Men want to support us.

I’ll never forget, years back, when I was crying – sitting in a restaurant with tears flowing down my face because I’d just been on off the phone with my business coach. I was feeling so defeated that I didn’t know what all of the tech terms meant or what all of this software I needed was, and didn’t know how I was ever going to be successful in my business.

Ric saw the opportunity, and he literally learned how to create funnels, build websites and do all-things-tech related to our business, simply as a result of wanting to support me and my dream. All these years later and I can’t even imagine where I, or Hearts Desire International for that matter, would be without him. (And now he has a great business of his own doing this for other people, too! Talk about a win-win!)

The other reason why men love being with high-quality, successful, driven women is because it inspires them to be more.

I’ll also never forget the day when I heard Ric, my very soft-spoken husband, stand on one of our stages at an event and said, “Seeing how committed Gladys is to her own transformation inspires me to become a better man.”

Definitely another tearful moment for me!

Until then I knew he admired the things I did, my career, and professional accomplishments But that day, he was talking about what he admired about ME and the woman I am! No award,degree, or certificate can hold a candle to that!

The absolutely beautiful thing about creating a partnership with someone who loves and admires you for your determination and commitment in the world is what you can create together.

It also gives you the opportunity to lean on one another and lift each other up when you have days where you’re having a hard time seeing it in yourself.

Supportive partners see you, experience you and hear you in a way that you sometimes fail to see, and they can share your life, your success, and all of the ordinary-extraordinary moments with you as you continue to strive for success in business and love.

If you have a limiting belief that you need to choose between business and love then we have something very important to share with you.

In just two weeks we’ll be hostingThe Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event, and you won’t want to miss it!!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want to stop wasting time and want to start having SUCCESS in love!

This is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

The event is happening on October 23rd-25th, and we can’t wait to have you there!

In fact, we’re so committed to having you there, that, for Birthday Week, we’re lowering the price of the ticket to just $47!!! (It’s our birthday, and will give you gifts if we want to!!!)

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

When you know that you are a loveable woman, then you can attract someone who believes that, too.

When you’re honest and authentic about who you are, business success and all, that’s when you’ll find the man who will love you completely.

When you trust yourself, love yourself, and know that you’re capable of creating an amazing relationship in your life, you WILL!

Join us to discover this for yourself!

This is what I know was true for me and, it is true for you, too.

Are You Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop?

by heartsdesireintl | Oct 2, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Forgiveness, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

How do you keep the love growing?

How do you keep the relationship from going stale?

How do you keep your marriage from getting complacent, too comfortable, or boring?

There is something we hear a lot from women. A very common concern is “Things are great now, but what happens when _________ (you fill in the blank).”

How do you not just create a relationship, but a long-lasting relationship that gets better and better with time?

We find that women who have this concern are waiting for the other shoe to drop — even when things are going well. They have a fear – whether it’s that they’re afraid he’s not trustworthy, that they’ll eventually fall into old habits and ruin things, or they’re sure there’s something wrong with him that they just haven’t seen yet – and it’s causing them to sabotage their relationships over and over again.

The problem when you are in this cycle of waiting for something to go wrong is that your focus is on what isn’t going to work, versus what’s right and going well in the present .

See if this sounds familiar…

One of our past clients found herself in this pattern. After years and years of dating, she finally found herself in the relationship of her dreams. She had met a wonderful man, and they had an incredible time together. He would fly to see her and pay to fly her out to visit him. Things were going wonderfully, and he was starting to initiate conversations about where they wanted to take the relationship next. EEEEE – exciting!

One weekend, he flew out to see her and she found herself acting strange. She could feel herself pulling away and trying to withdraw, and when he would ask what was wrong, she would respond like most women do by saying, “Nothing!”

Well, he was persistent with asking her what was going on, and eventually she told him that she could feel herself pulling away because she was waiting for something to go wrong. – How could things actually be this good?

Instead of being overjoyed and in the moment about how wonderful things were for her then, she was worried about what might happen to ruin things in the future.

Have you ever experienced yourself doing something similar?

This pattern of behavior is so detrimental and destructive to relationships, because when men are having to constantly defend themselves against things they aren’t doing, or feel like they’re paying the price for men who came before them, they get exhausted by it, and the love and intimacy starts to chip away.

When you have a history of bad relationships or trauma from your childhood, you often spend time and energy in your current relationship looking for that same history to repeat itself as a way to prepare yourself for what may happen.

The thing is, if you go into a relationship, even with the perfect man, doing this, you will sabotage it.

So, how does this show up for you?

Does it show up like it did for this client, where you pull away when things are going well?

Do you always feel like you have to do something to either “fix” the situation or the person you’re dating?

Do you create drama in your relationship so that you can feel the dips of things going badly in order to feel the high that comes with things being good again?

Here’s how you can recognize when you’re in the pattern of drama or looking for things to go wrong in our relationship:

You’re telling someone about something that isn’t working in your life and they give you a solution, and you respond with a “Yeah, but…!”

Someone presents a solution to you, and you follow-up with yet another problem that needs to be solved..

No matter how well things are going, you don’t allow yourself to enjoy the good times because you are preparing yourself for the impending doom that is on its way.

Recognizing this pattern is one of the first steps in the Heartwork that we teach, so that you can start training yourself to experience happiness and joy. Getting to a place where you understand that “peace” does not equal “boring” is a great place to begin.

Here’s the truth: Life comes with enough challenges that you don’t want or need to u create more of them.

We often hear the phrase, “Hard times are part of being in a relationship,,” and that makes us cringe! Yes, hard times come sometimes. That’s part of life. But hard times are not a requirement in a relationship.

Our goal is for every one of our clients to experience joy, love, and excitement in a relationship and to know that those can come on an ordinary day simply because you’re together.

If you’re looking for more ways to break this pattern of drama and expecting bad things to happen in your relationship, please join us tomorrow for our Reignite the Spark Masterclass !

This 3-hour event is for every woman who is looking to make her relationship, partnership, or marriage the best that it’s ever been. We want to help you take things to the next level to experience even more love, excitement and joy in your life and relationship than ever before.

Click HERE to register NOW!

Marriage doesn’t have to be hard or get boring., Feeling peaceful and comfortable with your partner is a good thing. And just because you’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean the passion has to fade.

When I’m sitting on my couch and I look over at Ric and my boys, I think “This is it! This is what joy feels like! This is what I was waiting for!”

That’s what we want for you, too, NAME!!

Join us tomorrow for Reignite the Spark!

How to Overcome the Fear of Getting Hurt

by heartsdesireintl | Sep 29, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Infidelity, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

Do you have a fear that you will be hurt or rejected?

If you don’t, you must be superhuman, because as human beings, we all deal with this!

The real question is: Is that fear running the show?
Is that fear causing you to hold back in relationships or keeping you from creating one altogether?

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, this message is for you!

It’s a common misconception that, once you get into a relationship, that fear of rejection or of getting hurt goes away, but that’s just not true. The fear of hurt or rejection can be holding you back from creating deep, intimate connection, either way.

Here’s how it works.

You have fears that something will or won’t happen in the future because of something that did or didn’t happen in the past.

Fear is running the show if it causes you to react in a certain way that is a coping mechanism for not getting hurt.

This may look like withdrawing from your partner or pulling back.

It may look like being paralyzed and feeling like you can’t do or say anything because of your fear that it will go badly.

It may look like pretending, acting as if everything is fine, when, actually, you’re feeling scared inside.

Here’s how it looks for me.

My previous marriage was not a happy marriage. The relationship brought out the worst in me and I was often critical, loud, snappy and impatient.

I remember how I would feel every time I’d come home and put the key up to the door to open it. Each time, I would stop and feel my chest tighten as I wondered what I was about to encounter on the other side of the door. I’d just hope that today might be a good day.

My fear of being alone caused me to stay in that unhappy relationship. I would stay quiet and pretend that everything was fine, and then I couldn’t really understand what was real and what I really wanted.

Fast forward to now.

I’m in an extremely happy and fulfilling relationship, but I’m still human. So during times when I may be sleep deprived or extra busy, those qualities of being critical, snappy or impatient can come out and my fear rears its ugly head.

My fear is that if I allow those qualities that I don’t like in myself to come out – and sometimes they do – then I won’t be loved or I’ll begin to recreate the relationship I had with my ex.

Your fear may be feeling like your feelings won’t be validated, fearing you’ll be used or get hurt.

When fear is running the show you feel powerless, and that’s not the way we want you to feel!!

So how do you overcome these fears?

First, you need to recognize it and acknowledge it.

What is it that you’re afraid of that’s stopping you from having the relationship you want to have?

Your fear is impacting you whether you acknowledge it or not, so you might as well bring it to light.

Then ask yourself:- If I was standing outside this fear and standing in my power, who would I be that would allow me to make a different choice?

When I recognize myself in the space where those undesirable qualities come out and I feel the fear coming to the surface, I ask myself that question.

I acknowledge the fear and step forward to own it. I take responsibility for anything I may have said to Arnie that I didn’t really mean, and I apologize so that I don’t go back to allowing that old fear running the show and hurt my relationship.

I know that I’m a powerful woman, and that I get to choose how I feel and behave. When I apologize, I open up the space in our relationship for intimacy and love to be present again.

The truth is: You can either be run by your fears or run by your ability to choose a different experience. You get to choose.

It can take a little bit of effort to get to the bottom of these fears, which is why we’re so excited to invite you to the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want to overcome their fears in love once and for all is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

We’ve changed the dates to October 23rd-25th, and this year, it’s going to be better than ever!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Once you transform something, you don’t go back to it. Take this opportunity for yourself to overcome the fears that are holding you back in love and relationships!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

True or False? Men are Intimidated by Strong and Successful Women

by heartsdesireintl | Sep 11, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Success, Successful Women

by Gladys Diaz

True or False?

Men are intimidated and turned off by strong and successful women.

False!

It is a myth and limiting belief that men are intimidated by strong women.

The truth that we have discovered through working with hundreds of women is that you can be a strong, powerful and successful woman and create the loving, connected passionate relationship that you desire.

The key is creating an interdependent relationship and developing the Irresistible Essences in yourself that are attractive to a man.

A man admires and appreciates confidence and happiness in a woman. He loves knowing that the woman he’s with doesn’t depend on him for her happiness, but that he gets to come to the relationship and bring even more happiness into her life.

What a confident, high-quality man doesn’t like is being with a woman who tries to control him, change him, or show and tell him how he should do things. What he doesn’t like is when the woman constantly tries to take the lead.

That’s a total turn off.

There’s a big difference between the woman who is strong, successful, and capable and a woman who is intimidating, forceful, demanding or overbearing.

If you have a tendency to show up in the more forceful ways of being, you may have a pattern of control that you get to look at.

Ask yourself:
What’s going has me switch into “control mode??
Why is that showing up for me?
What am I afraid will or won’t happen if I’m not in control of a person or situation?

Fear wears many masks, and control is a big one.

Do you fear he’ll leave?

Do you fear you won’t be enough and, therefore, you’re always trying to prove something to yourself, him, and others?

Do you fear things won’t go the way you want them to if you don’t control the situation?

Let me tell you as a former control freak: It’s exhausting to try to be in control of everyone and everything!
It’s absolutely draining to be constantly trying to control your man, or the whole universe, for that matter!

Life is so much better when you let go and learn to allow and go with the flow.

I can tell you from my experience as a love coach that the best and most fulfilling way to have the most wonderful experience in a relationship is to do less.

That’s right!

Now… If the thought of not controlling anything scares you to your core, not to worry. There are still several thing you have 100% control over:

You get to be in control of your thoughts.

You get to be in control of your words.

You get to be in control of your behavior.

Everything else? Just let it go!

High-quality men, the kind I know you’re looking for, want to be with a woman who’s passionate, is up to big things in her life, and is the kind of woman who makes amazing things happen.

High-quality men have passions of their own and are up to big things, too.

The only men who aren’t turned off by a woman that tries to control everything are men who aren’t doing things with their own lives and want someone who will tell them what to do.

And we know you aren’t looking for a man like that!

It’s a practice of learning how to let go showing your partner that you trust him, and then letting things be.

It’s a practice because it takes effort – but it’s so worth it!

If you’re wanting to experience even more trust, openness and joy in dating and relationships, then you absolutely want to make sure that you join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE Virtual Live Event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event is for strong, successful, powerful women who want SUCCESS in love now! This event is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

The regular ticket price is $497 – but right now it’s only $97 and that price ends TONIGHT at Midnight EST!

So if you know you want to attend and grab a seat for this super-low price, grab your ticket now!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

The other reason you don’t want to wait is because this year we’ll be sending you a special “LOVE Box” filled with gifts and materials you’ll be using during the event, and we only ordered a certain number of them. Once they’re gone, they’re GONE

So again, if you already know you want to attend and have a life-changing experience where you and your love life will never be the same, grab your ticket and your LOVE Box now!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Whether you’ve come to the Irresistible Woman Live event in the past or not, this year is going to be very special, because there are things we can virtually that we couldn’t do before.

PLUS, there are people who would not normally be able to fly across the country, or across the world, who can come this year – so we know it’s going to be extra amazing!

This is a really special opportunity to share a powerful weekend together and have the transformation of a lifetime, and we can’t wait to see you there!

How to Listen to Actually Hear Your Partners

by heartsdesireintl | Aug 17, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance

by Gladys Diaz

Let’s talk about listening.

It’s been said that listening is 50% of the communication process.

Well, we think differently!

Listening is 100% of communication because, if you’re not actively listening, you’re not really having a conversation.

If you’re not listening you’re having a monologue, instead of a dialogue, and that isn’t really a conversation, now, is it?

We’re talking about not just listening, but really hearing what the other person is saying.

Have you ever had this experience of listening vs. hearing?

Think about a clock that ticks in your house. Probably, most of the time you don’t even notice the ticking, or you might hear it and it doesn’t really affect you. Now think about how you feel when you tune into it and all of the sudden the ticking becomes 10 times louder and drives you absolutely crazy!

It’s maddening right?!

Kind of a silly example, but do you see the difference between listening and actually hearing?

Hearing involves attention and presence, and is so very important in dating and relationships.

If you’re dating, you’re aiming to get to know people well enough to know if you want to keep getting to know them. How do you do that if you’re not listening well?

Really listening can help you catch key things you may otherwise have missed that can cause you to either want to get to know someone better, or save you lots of heartache and wasted time in the long run.

If you’re in a relationship, one of the most loving things you can do for your partner is to simply listen without saying a word.

How often do you do that?

We get it,. It’s not always easy. As mothers and wives we get how easy it is to give in to the desire to say something from a desire to support and help the other person.

However, when someone feels heard, they feel acknowledged, loved, cared for, seen, known and understood.

And those are beautiful gifts to receive!

So, how do you listen so you actually hear the other person?

It starts with being in control of the voice in your head. You know, the voice that is constantly thinking about, judging and placing opinions on everything you hear.

That voice that just asked if you have one of those voices… Yep, that’s the one!

Acknowledge you have that voice so you can start turning the volume down on it and really listening when others are talking.

The next step is to be an active listener.

What does that mean?

Engage with the conversation. Ask questions and seek to understand. Refrain from interrupting and interjecting your own thoughts and opinions, but let the other person know you’re listening by showing you’re invested in the conversation.

You can also say periodically things like, “I want to make sure I’m hearing you….” or “What I’m hearing you say is…” so that you can make sure you are understanding what they are trying to communicate.

The experience on the receiving end of these questions is one of “Wow! She really cares about me and wants to make sure she understands me!”

If you want to show a lot of courage, you could also ask at the end of a conversation how the other person felt about your listening. And then listen for the feedback of what the other person’s experience was.

You can become a better listener just by asking for feedback along the way!

In communication, the words you say, how you say them, and how you listen are the keys to making a difference for people in your life.
These tools work across the board. How would your relationships in all walks of life — work, family, friendships — benefit from better listening?

If you’d like some support with recognizing the blocks in your own listening patterns, that’s what we’re here for! We know the tools of communication that work in relationships — AND the ones that don’t — so that you can experience greater levels of love, trust and intimacy with those you love and care about.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Think of the number of people in your life who are important to you and how communicating better would make a difference for them. Think about how this could transform the communication and connection in your relationships.

It’s a complete game changer when you know how to use the tools! We want you to go out in your life and have beautiful conversations that make a difference for you and the person you love!

« Older Entries

Next Entries »