Heart's Desire Intl

Stop the Arguing and Start Thriving in Your Relationship!

by heartsdesireintl | May 8, 2020 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Do you feel like you and your partner can’t agree on anything?

Do you like to talk about things and he prefers to think it through first?

When disagreements arise, do tension and arguments rise, too?

Do you feel like you don’t know how your differences can work in your relationship?

Let me tell you this.

“It’s not disagreements that’s tearing your relationship apart. It’s the way you’re disagreeing.”

Ric and I are like the yin and yang. We are two complete opposite puzzle pieces that couldn’t be more different.

We feel differently about religion, about politics and lots of other things! We are extremely different! And there was a time when I wasn’t sure our relationship would survive.

When I look back on that time in our marriage, I am embarrassed because I had to be right about everything! I would correct everything he did. Even the smallest things he did and said If he did them differently than me, I would correct him.

Almost every conversation we had, whether we were talking about paint, our dinner, or work, would end up in an argument, and I would end up in another room crying because I was so upset about how such a simple conversation could end so badly.

Can you relate?

The thing is we all have an Ego – that part of our brain that wants to keep us safe and wants us to be right, no matter what the cost. And, as human beings with an Ego, sometimes we don’t realize that we are giving away our happiness in our effort to be right.

It is painful and exhausting to be in the experience of always fighting over things you don’t agree on.

Your fear that possibly you made the wrong choice when you picked your partner, or that, if you were right for each other it wouldn’t be so hard is often the thing that is triggering your need to be right.

Sometimes we think that if two people are meant to be together, they’ll like all the same things, think the same way, and make the same choices

That couldn’t be farther from the truth!

Again, remember the yin and yang? Your differences and individuality are the things that brought you together, and they are the things that will keep you together – IF you learn how to respect and appreciate them.

You first need awareness of the pattern – because, more than likely, it’s happening automatically.

So, ask yourself honestly:

Does this resonate with you?

Do you put your partner down?

Do you correct and try to get him to agree with you?

I guarantee that your intention is not to hurt each other – I know mine wasn’t!

But are you reacting to a subconscious fear or belief and, in the process, making him wrong?

Awareness is just the first step in the process. There are communication and relationship skills that will help you transform your differences from this recurring experience of disagreeing and fighting into something beautiful that actually brings you closer together.

Relationships require at least one person in the relationship being willing to show up at her strongest so that things work well, and if you desire a happy, healthy, connected and passionate relationship that will last a lifetime, then we have something special for you!

We’re so excited to be inviting you to the Reignite the Spark Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, May 9th at 12pm Eastern!

In three information-packed hours, you’ll learn exactly how to break through the patterns that have been sabotaging your relationship, inspire your partner’s love and desire, and deepen the love and intimacy in your relationship (yes, even during these stressful times), so that you can create the happy, loving relationship that will last well beyond this pandemic. In fact… It will last for a lifetime!

Grab your spot for the Reignite the Spark Masterclass here!

Just like two puzzle pieces that are shaped exactly the opposite of one another in order to complete the puzzle , two very different people can fit together perfectly, despite their differences, and create a beautiful masterpiece when they learn how to fit together.

We’re here to show you how!

How to Overcome Social Distancing Anxiety

by heartsdesireintl | May 1, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Even before the events of Covid-19 shook our world, women would come to us because they were triggered by the distance they felt in relationships.

Whether it was physical distance or perceived distance (like he starts texting/calling less than he did before), distance is something that causes a lot of women anxiety.

Because of the events of the last couple of months and the “social distancing” regulations that have been put on all of us, this anxiety may be amplified for you.

If anxiety in relationships isn’t something you had previously dealt with, it may be something that has been coming up for you now.

As these “social distancing” regulations begin to be lifted in different parts of the country, a whole new kind of anxiety might be setting in for you. The anxiety of whether it’s really safe to go out now? …to meet someone new? …to hug or kiss?

If you have been or are experiencing anxiety for any reason, you’re not alone, and the number one thing you can do for yourself under our current circumstances is to honor yourself. Get clarity around what’s true for you. Let go of social agreements and make a decision you can stand by.

One of the essential elements of being an Irresistible Woman is being connected to what you really feel and standing confidently in it.

So, what do you do if, because the restrictions are being lifted in your community, a guy asks you if you’d like to meet, and you still feel like it’s too soon?

You can say, “For me, it’s still too soon to meet in person, but I’d love to keep getting to know you.” From there he can decide whether or how he wants to make that happen.

It’s as easy as that.

What if you had anxiety before Covid-19? Did experiencing distance (either physical or perceived distance ) in a relationship trigger you before?

Did you find yourself sending memes that you found funny or articles you thought he’d be interested in because you’re feeling anxious that you haven’t heard from him in a few days (or hours!)

Do you find yourself doing these things just so you can get on his radar and get the hit that will deflate the anxiety when/if he responds?

If so, remember this: It’s not as helpful to pay attention to what he’s doing as it is to pay attention to how you’re reacting to it.

Your reaction is what’s causing the anxiety.

When the anxiety hits, ask yourself: “What is it that’s really bothering me?” “Why does not hearing from him worry me so much?”

And then be gentle with yourself.

It’s a fear that’s getting triggered, and it can feel all-consuming.

Take a breath and remind yourself that you’re safe and nothing bad is happening to you.

If you’re feeling this over a guy you’ve just started seeing, then remind yourself that you’re just getting to know each other and it’s okay that you haven’t heard from him. It doesn’t mean anything.

If it’s someone you’ve been seeing a little longer, then ask yourself if the anxiety you’re feeling is because you’re getting attached because he’s the only person you’re seeing. If you’re still not in a committed relationship with a man, maybe it’s time to open up to seeing others as well.

It is also powerful to notice if anxiety is a pattern you’ve created for yourself.

Not to downplay it in any way, as anxiety is a very real experience that has your nervous system go crazy and triggers irrational thoughts. But notice if being in a state of high anxiety is something you’ve trained yourself to feel.

We find with many women that they feel “alive” when they’re worrying about something and that, even when things are calm and going well, they still feel anxiety because they automatically (and subconsciously) start looking for something to worry about it.

Anxiety can also be triggered by wanting to control people, conditions, or circumstances that are outside of your control.

If you notice yourself in this pattern, start teaching yourself how to shift.

If you find yourself looking for something to worry about, notice and laugh about it. Then think of something you’re grateful for, or think of something else you can focus your attention on that you do have control over so that you can begin to retrain your mind out of the pattern of constant worrying.

There is so much more we could share on this topic, and so much of this really requires personal coaching to get to the root of what triggers the anxiety in the first place!

This is why we’re so excited to be inviting you to the second Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, May 2nd at 12pm Eastern!

Because we had such an incredible turn out last week, because so many of you asked if we could offer the training again – and because we had so much fun – we decided to do it one more time!

In this interactive masterclass you will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating skills, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams.

Grab your spot for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass here!

In the search for love, you don’t have to be worried!

You are in control of how you feel, react, and respond, and we’re here to show you how!

As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.

We’re here for you!

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

by heartsdesireintl | Apr 24, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz

Should I stay or should I go?

Have you ever asked yourself that question?

If you’re asking yourself that, maybe a better question is: “Why am I staying?”

Maybe he’s not showing up the way he used to.

Maybe you’re not comfortable in the relationship and can’t be yourself.

Maybe there’s a lot of drama in the relationship and it’s exhausting.

Maybe it’s been this way for a long time and you know your life is passing you by.

Why…?

And by the way… this conversation doesn’t just exist when talking about relationships.

This conversation about being unclear or feeling “stuck” is relevant to just about any area of your life.

Maybe you’re staying in a job you don’t like and that’s not fulfilling.

Maybe your house doesn’t light you up or create the feeling of home.

Maybe you feel stuck in your business or a friendship.

Where in your life are you just surviving?

Where are you settling for less than you desire?

People stay in situations that are less than what they want because of FEAR. Fear of not knowing what the alternative will be like, if it will work out, and if they can handle it.

Staying comfortable in something less than desirable feels better (or seems safer) than the risk of stepping outside of your comfort zone to create something different.

Can you relate?

I know it was that way for me. I was married for over 12 years and at least the last three or four years of that relationship were spent knowing it wasn’t going to get any better. Did you hear me… four years!! I had major doubt that I could do it on my own, that I had what it took to leave and create something better.

At that time in my life I was doing the same exact thing in my professional life. I was in a job that I hated. But I had a false sense of safety and wasn’t doing anything about it out of fear.

Sound familiar?

So… should you stay or should you go?

First of all, if you are in a situation where you are in danger, where you experience moments of being afraid in your relationship, then there’s no question. You should go.

No woman should ever be in a situation where she feels afraid. If that’s you, please reach out for support.

Secondly, if you’re waiting for someone else to do something, or if you feel like you just can’t take the way things are for one more day, then it’s time to ask yourself, ”Why am I staying?”

The thing is this, most of the time, love is not what’s in question.

We hear stories from so many women and the first answer is always “Because I love him” or “Because we love each other.”

You can 100% feel that you love someone and not be in a relationship that is healthy, going somewhere, or what you really desire.

What’s really in question is whether you love yourself.

Do you love yourself enough to have what you desire?

And if you’re not clear on what you desire, do you love yourself enough to get crystal-clear about it so that you can find the courage to step out of what you’re settling for and open up the space for what you really want?

After my divorce, and after I finally did the Heartwork to learn how to love myself, I was clear that I didn’t ever again want to be with someone that wasn’t 100% sure they wanted to be with me. When I finally created that clarity for myself, everything changed.

Now for the question of whether you should stay.

You should stay if you feel safe and if you have a desire to make things work. Even if right now, you’re the only one saying she wants it to work, there needs to be a desire to change things.

We’ve worked with women who have completely redesigned their relationships. They have done the work on themselves in order to experience the relationship differently and create the relationship of their dreams inside the relationship they are already in.

So, if you find yourself in the question of whether you should stay or go, then the time is now to take action. No amount of complaining, talking about it, or hoping that it’s going to change on its own is going to change anything. You have to take committed action!

This is why we’re so excited to be inviting you to the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, April 25th at 12pm Eastern!

You will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating leadership coaching, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams.

Grab your spot for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass here!

In the search for love, YOU get to choose!

As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.

We’re here for you!

How to “COVID-19 Proof” Your Relationship

by heartsdesireintl | Apr 13, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Is his breathing starting to drive you crazy?

Do you feel like you’re not getting any alone time?

Are you arguing about every little thing?

We ask these questions a little lightheartedly because we know feeling these things right now doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner. It’s simply that the stress in your relationship may be rising as you’re being forced to spend more time together than usual in what is probably starting to feel like a very confined space.

Also, with extra time and less distractions, the things you’ve been too busy or too distracted to address in your relationship are coming up.

The pressure may be starting to rise, and you may be feeling like you’re about to burst! (Remember those old pressure-cookers? The way they would whistle louder and louder meaning it was getting closer to the exploding point? Are you beginning to feel like that?!?)

You know, just the other day Arnie and I were having a conversation and I was starting to feel frustrated. It just didn’t feel like he was understanding my point of view and I was beginning to feel the pressure rising!

The conversation was starting to get a little heated, but then I remembered… “What if he just sees it differently?”

Remembering that people process information differently (especially men and women!) has the power to change everything. In those heated moments, it can be difficult to remember that , but it is so important!

So, what can you do to bring the stress level down a notch?

The different circumstances that we are all currently experiencing are magnifying the need to have good communication skills in place in your relationship, because, when you don’t have the skills you’ll either 1) withdraw from your partner, or 2) explode and word-vomit all over him!

Neither of these things will lead to the loving, connected, supportive relationship you want to have with your partner.

When it comes to communication there are three very important things to remember.

What you say.
How you say it.
The energy behind what you’re saying.

Let’s focus on that third one.

A large part of communicating effectively is thinking about how the message is going to be received. Now, you can’t control how the other person is going to hear what you’re saying, but you can be responsible for the intention and energy behind your words.

Before you speak, ask yourself, “What do I want to create in the space between us?”

Setting the intention of creating love, connection, and understanding before a heated conversation begins changes what happens during the conversation and the outcome drastically.

The second thing you can do if you’ve found yourself having a stressful conversation with your partner is take a step back and talk about what isn’t working from a neutral state by using nouns and verbs.

What does that look like?

Saying “When you did ____________ it made me ___________” doesn’t work, because it immediately sets your partner up to defend himself..

Instead, when you say, “What doesn’t work is yelling” or “What doesn’t work is blaming,” it changes the conversation. Instead of getting defensive, you are both able to identify what isn’t working and shift it.

And lastly, if things are getting heated and you’re not seeing a loving and productive way out of an impending blow-up, then call a time-out.

Take a 5-10 minute break to think about what the other person is saying and feeling. Stay awake in your relationship and allow time to process your own thoughts and feelings before continuing the conversation, if needed.

It’s also important to allow for disagreements.

Like I shared in the example above, sometimes we are just going to see things differently. You are two completely different human beings with your own thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. Remember that many of those differences are the things that attracted you to one another, so allow for the disagreements, making respect a top priority in your communication, even when you don’t see eye-to-eye on something.

All of these communication skills work really well in romantic relationships, and you can also practice them with everyone in your life.

It is not enough just to know what to do. As Tony Robbins says: Knowledge is only potential power., you get to do it.

Knowledge only has the power to transform and make a difference when it is used effectively. So, use these skills with your partner, with your kids, with your co-workers.

We are all under pressure right now, and that doesn’t mean our relationships have to break down.

If you have a specific issue you’d like to discuss with your partner, and you’re not sure how to do it in a way that leads to more love and partnership, we’re opening up extra spots on our calendar to help you prepare for and have the conversation in a way that will lead to more love, connection, and partnership with the man you love.

Simply click below and schedule a Love Breakthrough Session, and we’ll walk you through exactly what to say and do so that you can communicate and connect with your partner now.

Click here to schedule a Communication Love Breakthrough Session.

We are going to get through this, and we’re going to get through it together.

Are You Being Used?

by heartsdesireintl | Jan 11, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz

Are you afraid of being taken advantage of by men?

Do you seem to consistently attract men that “need” something”?

Do you feel like men only want sex from you and that once they have gotten it, they disappear?

Is your experience that men always need your “fixing”?

If this seems to be your experience in dating and relationships, know that you are not alone. In our work with thousands of women, this is the #1 limiting belief that women have about men and relationships.

And the thing is, for those with this fear, it is 100% real to them.

That’s why we wanted to share this message first thing in this new year!

If this is what you are experiencing or feel like you are experiencing — basically if this is your paradigm for relationships — it’s because you’ve had an experience in the past that created this belief.

Warning signs that you have this belief are that:

you have the experience of over-giving and not receiving back a relationship
you feel as if you’re being used for sex
you’re helping a man “gets back on his feet,” or being used financially
you feel like you must be “needed” in order for someone to love you, and that if they don’t “need” you, then they will leave you

Think about your last 3-4 relationships? Was this showing up?

If these signs have shown up in three or more of your past relationships, then there’s a pattern that needs shifting!

This pattern comes from a belief that you created because of a past experience.

And that belief was most likely created years before your first date.

One example of something you may have experienced as a child is having something happen that led you to believe you had to DO something EXTRA in order to be loved.

When you have this belief, you will attract men who need you, need help, need support, and you feel like you are always the one doing the helping or “fixing.”

So ask yourself –

Are you noticing these patterns in your relationships?

Are you having painful experiences in dating?

OR are you holding yourself back and not having experiences with men because of this fear?

The first step to shifting fears is to recognize that they are present, so be honest with yourself here.

If this sounds like you, then start to pay attention to these things when you are dating…

Are you over-giving? Are you giving to another person to the point that you are not honoring yourself?
Are you taking time to really get to know someone? Are you holding back in a healthy way so you don’t give too much too soon? Are you giving yourself the opportunity of time to get to know someone so you know that can trust the other person and his intentions?
Are you looking for consistency in words and actions in the men you are dating?
Are you feeling safe to be generous and give love freely because you are receiving in return?

Sometimes you need help recognizing these patterns in your life. We want you to know that so much of the pain you experience in love, dating, and relationships is unnecessary and avoidable!

If you feel like this is a belief you have, and you’re having a hard time recognizing or shifting the pattern, let us help you do the HeartWork to break past it.

You get to be loved freely, and to be loved freely in return.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

You Get To Be Cherished.

by heartsdesireintl | Dec 6, 2019 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love

by Michelle Roza

Do you want to be cherished?

I don’t know about you, but that word just brings all the feels!

To be cherished. What does that really mean?

Literally, the word cherish means to hold dear, to show affection for, to cultivate care, and to harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely.

Being cherished looks like being absolutely loved, cared for, and protected.

So how do you attract the man that will not only cherish you, but cherish you forever?

#1 – Believe You’re Worth It.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it forever, because it really is that important.

The reason why we say it over and over is because I don’t think any of us walk around consciously thinking that we aren’t worth it. But, when you stop and honestly look at what’s underneath, do you really know that you deserve to be cherished?

I know, for me, I remember when I didn’t believe.

On the surface, everything looked great, but, underneath, it wasn’t great at. Because I didn’t believe that I was worth it.

I never allowed myself to be seen by the men who I thought were really great. The high-quality, good character men, I just didn’t show up for. I always went one step below.

Because that’s what I felt like I deserved.

I felt so much shame about my divorce, about dating not working for me, and about being alone. I felt like my time was just about up to find love, and I was so desperate for love!

Can you relate?

It wasn’t until I did the HeartWork – the internal work to release, heal, and let go of the layers of fear, shame and heartache – that things started to shift.

I started to feel better FOR REAL, so that’s what started being reflected out in the world, and that’s what I began attracting.

I stopped attracting “not good”men and “not-good-for-me” men and started attracting those good guys that had the qualities that I desired

And I soon found Arnie.

The #1 thing you MUST do in order to find the partner that will cherish you forever is to believe that you are worth it.

#2 – Make Yourself a Priority

You must make yourself a priority if you expect anyone else to. And it’s not just about doing your nails and your hair and looking physically attractive. It’s also not about buying yourself more “stuff.”

Making yourself a priority is about spending time with yourself. Filling yourself up so that you aren’t looking to be filled by someone else.

We all have big lives and sometimes we can end up putting ourselves at the bottom of the pile – and that doesn’t help anyone.

Your way of being is the most attractive thing to a man (and everyone else). So make yourself a priority, so that you have light to give.

#3 – Honor Your Word

If you want a man that will cherish, respect, and love you, then YOU must cherish you and respect you and love you.

Honor your word.

If you say you will go to bed at 10:00, go to bed at 10:00.

If you say you’ll go to the gym at 7am, then get up and go to the gym at 7am.

If you tell your kids that bedtime is 9pm, then put them to bed at 9pm.

When you don’t honor your word, then others don’t know what they can count on your for. Worse than that, even YOU don’t know what you can count on yourself for. That breeds self-doubt, and it’s all downhill from there.

You will learn to not trust yourself, and you can’t trust a man if can’t trust yourself to choose the right man.

Stop living your life based on your feelings, because your feelings change! Start living your life by your commitments, saying “this WILL be” and then making sure it is so. Do that, and see what changes!

You see, it really does begin with you.

We may sound like a broken record, but it’s the absolute truth.

I was talking to a client the other day who just got married!!! I was remembering one of our first conversations when we uncovered her belief that there was something wrong with her because she was in her 50’s and had never been married. She believed that it would have been better to have been divorced 3 times than to be her age and have never been in a long-term relationship.

What a limiting belief! But can you relate?

Once we uncovered that limiting belief and she did her HeartWork, she started showing up in the world differently. She was smiling again. She felt good! And she was no longer on a timeline. She knew that she deserved it and that it was on it’s way to her.

She ended up attracting a man that she’d met decades before who came back into her life, and now they are happily married.

It is possible if you just believe.

So, if you really want to learn how you can start cherishing yourself and then attract the man that will cherish you forever then act NOW to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening this weekend!

Click here to grab your spot (only 2 left!)!

At this event, we’ll help you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for the love that your heart desires deeply, and the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience it in 2020!

There are only 2 spots left at this event, and we’d love one of them to be yours!

Remember: It’s not just about getting a man to ask you out. It’s about BEing the irresistible woman that he decides he can’t live without. That’s when all your dreams will become a reality!

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