by heartsdesireintl | Feb 3, 2015 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
This weekend Michelle and I participated in and spoke at the Desire to Rise event. It was an absolutely inspiring event focused on realizing our visions in 2015! We had the privilege of inspiring the audience to create and realize their visions for love by creating a Love Resolution for 2015!
Michelle and I are used to speaking to audiences made up predominantly of women, but, every once in a while, men will participate in our presentations, and we absolutely love it!
It’s always so heartwarming to see just how committed men are to creating loving relationships, too! In fact, the men in the room this time participated fully in our session, including holding hot pink paper links symbolizing the past fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that had been blocking love from entering their hearts right along with all of the women and they came up to us after the session to thank us and tell us how much they got out of it! It was awesome!
Another reason we love having men in the audience is because there is nothing quite as affirming as having the men nodding their heads in agreement when we talk about the three things that are most important to them in a relationship. We call these “The 3 P’s”: To Provide for, Protect, and Please the women they love.
These are a man’s greatest desires when it comes to being in a relationship.
Because each of them is so important, we’ll focus on just one of them today and I’ll write more about the other two in subsequent posts.
A man wants to know that he is capable of providing for and taking care of the woman he loves.
Now, this doesn’t always mean that he’s the primary bread winner. It means that he’s able to contribute to her well-being in some way. For some men, that will mean providing for his beloved financially – whether that means being the one who works in the home, making more money than she does, or contributing to the finances in some way. For others it could mean that he holds down the fort and provides support for her in pursuing her dreams. For others it means that he cares for her needs in other ways. And some of us are blessed enough to have a man who does all of the above!
The point is that a man needs to know and feel like he’s needed. If he doesn’t, he either withdraws to avoid feeling incompetent or rejected, or he begins to depend on the woman, which can then lead to resentment on both sides of the relationship.
If you’re in a relationship where you’re not feeling like you’re being cared and provided for, I invite you to look to see where you may be preventing that from happening.
Are you the one doing everything in the relationship – from earning the money, to taking care of the household, to basically doing anything and everything that requires decision making and action taking?
Are you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed because you feel like you are doing it ALL with very little help?
Are you beginning to feel resentful about this, and, rather than admitting you need help, you’re continuing to plow along, getting everything done and resenting your man for not offering to help?
If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, it’s time to take a step back and provide room for him to step up.
Now, allowing a man to provide and care for you does not mean that you are incapable of doing and caring for yourself. Of course you can! The thing is that, if doing everything is causing you to resent him and is creating distance in your relationship, you want to ask yourself what’s more important – doing everything yourself to prove that you can, or allowing for the possibility of not having to do everything yourself all of the time and feeling loved and cared for in the process?
Instead of running yourself ragged, denying him the pleasure of providing for you, and causing a rift in your relationship, follow these steps:
- Take a breath, step back, and simply admit that you could use some help. The words, “I need help” are like a flare in the sky for a man! They signal that there is something he can do for the women he loves! Men want to help. They want to know that there’s a purpose for them being there. I know you may be skeptical. I know I was. My biggest complaint was that my husband never helped me and I felt like “the single married mom.” However, when I started saying, “I need help,” I saw just how important it was to my husband to know that he was capable of providing for me! So, even if you’re skeptical right now, I challenge you: Just try it!
- When he asks what you need help with, share what it is without complaining or over-exaggerating the need. Once you say, “I need help,” most men will ask you what you need help with. When he does simply share what it is you need help with. At this point, avoid complaining (either verbally or in your mind) about his lack of help, your exhaustion, and the unfairness of it all when you express your need for help. That is just going to cause resistance on his part and will probably lead to yet another argument, so you want to avoid complaining and nagging at all costs.
Instead, you can say something like, “I need help moving these boxes,” “I need help organizing these receipts for the taxes,” “I need help putting away the dishes.” Keep it short and simple, and then stop talking.
- Avoid attaching any expectations to what the help “should” look like. Once he offers to help, step back and allow him to do it in his way and time frame. Don’t check up on, remind, or hint at what he should/could be doing. Just move right along to something else. Many times, we sabotage ourselves from being provided for by jumping in to “help” or make things easier for our men. That has to do with our own feelings of self-worth and thinking that we’re somehow“ burdening” them. Just step back and allow yourself to receive the help. It may feel weird at first, but I promise, you’ll grow used to it!
- Let him know you noticed and appreciate his help. Once he’s done whatever he’s done to help, let him know you noticed and appreciate his help! Many times women will withhold the appreciation because they don’t want to feel as if the man did them any favors. Well… first of all, he did do you a favor by helping, and, secondly, it’s important to keep in mind that his desire to feel like he can provide for you is closely followed by his need to feel appreciated. The more you let him know that you need and appreciate him and his help, the more likely he is to begin offering to provide for you! It’s a real win-win situation!
I know it may seem strange and out of character for you to admit that you could use some help, especially if you’re used to taking care of things on your own. I remember wondering if I was “dumbing down” or pretending that I wasn’t capable of doing something. I was afraid I would seem weak.
What I found out, however, is that allowing my husband to help and provide for me made me feel loved and cherished. Seeing how much he wanted to help me really did make me appreciate him even more. That inspired more gratitude and tenderness from me, which only ignited his desire to continue doing things for me that caused that reaction. As I said above, it truly is a real win-win combination.
So, go ahead and try it, and let me know what begins to open up for you in the comments below!
We’ll focus on a man’s desire to protect the woman he loves in the next post! See you then!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jan 22, 2015 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Success, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
I have been thinking about you non-stop for the past few days, so I took a few moments to shoot this quick video!
It includes an exciting announcement and a quick training on what you can do to be UNreasonable and stop letting your reasons stand you in your way of experiencing the life and love your heart desires!
This is powerful, life-changing information!
Just click the image below and create a breakthrough in your life TODAY!
If you want different results, need to break through your resistance, your reasons, and excuses!
Let the message of this video really speak to you and then take action today!
Then email me and let me know which action you are taking today!
ONLY 4 SEATS LEFT!
Join us for the 2015 Love Resolution Workshop and begin making 2015 The Year of Love and Dreams Come True for YOU!
There are only 4 seats left, so be UNreasonable and claim YOUR seat NOW!
by heartsdesireintl | Jan 6, 2015 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
If your inbox is anything like mine, you have been flooded with emails and videos over the past few days about how to make 2015 your year!
I don’t know how you’ve been receiving the messages, but each time I receive one of them, I affirm, “Yes, it is! My dreams are coming true!”
Did you notice how I stated those affirmations using positive words and in present tense?
Those are just two of the keys to anchoring a statement regarding a goal, dream, or resolution so that you are already living into making it come true!
Click on the image below to watch a video Michelle shot for you from one of her dreams come true and read on to learn more about the keys to making a goal or resolution a reality!
Key #1: State your goal, dream, or resolution using positive words.
Did you notice how Michelle said, “Someday I’m gonna’ come back”?
She didn’t say, “Someday I hope I can come back,” or “I wish I could come back someday.” She said, “I’m gonna’ come back!” And that’s exactly what she did!
When we state a goal, resolution or affirmation using positive words – words that focus on what we do want, rather than on what we don’t want or are afraid might happen or not happen, our mind grabs onto, or “anchors,” that statement and translates it into a command.
See, your brain believes what you tell it to believe. If you continuously feed it fears, doubts, limiting beliefs, resentments and regrets, that’s what it will grab onto and make happen. It’s why you may be wondering why it is that certain people and situations keep showing up and repeating themselves in your life.
Making a dream or a resolution a reality begins with believing that it can happen. And, sometimes, that means repeating the statement over and over again until you actually begin to believe what you keep telling yourself.
Key #2: State your goal, dream, or resolution in the present tense, as if it is already happening!
Rather than saying, “Maybe one day I will find someone and have a good relationship” declare what will happen: “Someday, I will have the relationship of my dreams!”
Want to make your statement even more powerful? State it as if it is already happening: I am creating the relationship of my dreams!
This may seem “woo-woo,” like wishful thinking, or as if you are lying to yourself…
Let me be clear.
When you are telling yourself things like, “There is something wrong with me,” or “Maybe I’m just not meant to be in a happy relationship,” or “There’s no way this relationship will ever get better,” you are lying to yourself!
And, what’s worse, not only are you affirming what you don’t want, but you are believing it!
Retraining your brain to create, declare, and manifest what you want takes some “rewiring,” but it’s not that difficult to do, once you know the steps to take.
These are just 2 of the keys you’ll learn about on how to manifest your goals and resolutions during the 2015 Love Resolution Workshop we’ll be hosting on January 24, 2015, and it’s why we want you to join us!
You’ll also learn other keys, such as how to create a vision of what you want your love life to be like and how to plan for success, so that you are living your resolution every day of 2015!
This will be a wonderful, life-changing experience, and we can’t wait to share it with you!
Just click here to register now!
We are close to being sold out and we don’t want you to miss out, so register now and then check your email for important information regarding the event!
One of our goals for 2015 is:
We are helping thousands of women around the world attract, create, and experience the life and love their hearts desire!
And we want you to be part of us making that resolution a reality!
Register now and let us know that you’re going to be part of us realizing our resolution!
Can’t wait to see you there!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Dec 18, 2014 | Dating, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
During the next few weeks, many of us will be celebrating a variety of different holidays. This time of the year can be very stressful if we are not intentional about handling all of the events, tasks, and celebrations with love. grace, and ease!
Since I don’t want to add too much more to your “Holiday To-Do List,” I came up with a short-but-sweet list of things you can do to get through the holidays feeling love, peace, and joy! Whether you are single or in a relationship, you’ll want to have this list handy during the next few weeks!
If You’re Single During the Holidays…
The holidays can feel especially lonely, if you don’t have someone special to share them with. It can seem like everyone else has someone to cuddle and laugh with. You may be attending parties and events where there are couples and not too many (if any) singles present, and you may hear that ever-dreaded question about when you plan to settle down, get married, and start a family!
If you’re single during the holidays, here are some things that can help you get through them with hope and a smile!
- Accept as many invitations as possible for dates, holiday parties and social events. While what you really want is to share these days with that someone special, it’s helpful to surround yourself with family and friends who make you smile and bring out the best in you. Plus, you never know who you are going to meet at your cousin’s tacky sweater party or the last-minute holiday work party you were invited to. Resist the urge to want to be alone (unless you need to take a break), and accept as many invitations as possible. This goes for dates, too! Some people are “selective” about who they will see and spend time with during the holidays. While you may not want to bring someone you don’t know very well to your family gathering, going to a party or put to dinner is a great way to have fun and get to know someone new! (Plus, as I said before… you never know!)
- Plan some girls’ nights out with your friends. Aside from attending events solo or with a date, be intentional about spending time with your girlfriends. Whether they are single or in relationships, I promise you that everyone wants to disconnect and just have fun for the sake of having fun! Don’t wait until the last minute, since it may take some creative thinking to have everyone arrange their schedules. Also, let your friends know that this is your way of creating a new holiday tradition that is stress-free, feminine, and fun!
If You’re in a Relationship During the Holidays…
Sharing the holidays with someone is nice, but it can also bring about feelings of stress, especially if you’re trying to create time to spend with two families! It can be even more stressful if you are not close to or don’t have a great relationship with your partner’s family.
If you are married or in a relationship during the holidays, here are some things that can help you get through them feeling closer to your partner!
- Remember that your partner may want to be with his family just as much as you’d like to be with yours. It can be tricky to fit in time to be with both families over a short amount of time, especially if one or both families don’t live in your city or the same city. Create a plan together, but, rather than telling him what you “should do,” let him know what you would like to do and then ask him what he’d like to do. See if there is a way to create a win-win situation. If in-person visiting isn’t possible, then plan a video chat family reunion, where you can all share some treats as you speak over Skype or Facetime. Block out enough time so that no one feels rushed and you can really connect with one another. If you’ve sent and received gifts from distant family members, plan to open them when you’re on camera so that you can enjoy the moment together!
- Remember to share some “couple time.” Let’s be honest. Being with family and in-laws can be really stressful. Make some time to disconnect from the crowd and just share some alone time with your partner. If you’re visiting with or having family visit you, consider that you may have some readily available babysitters to watch the kids or pets so that the two of you can sneak away for a romantic walk or dinner! Plan your time for when the kids will be sleeping so that you don’t have rush back and you can stay out as long as you like with your honey!
Whether You Are Single or In a Relationship.
- Remember to put yourself at the top of your holiday list. Take time to practice self-care by scheduling time to relax and replenish your mind, body, and soul. Yes, it’s the season for giving, but you need to give to yourself, too. If you are going to be traveling to visit family members, bring some of your favorite books and music with you, and see if there is a gym nearby where you can exercise to get some of those endorphins moving! This also gives you a reason to spend some time alone, especially if being with family is becoming a bit too much to handle (Don’t feel guilty… We all have that one – or two, or three – family member we need a time out from!) Also remember to ask for help if you need it. This will help you feel more grateful and less exhausted (and resentful), and gives others a chance to do something for you, too!
- Be Present. Getting caught up in all of the activities, visits, and shopping can actually rob you of actually BEing with your loved ones. If you’re hosting the holiday get-together, don’t worry about planning out every single moment of the day. Allow for everyone (including yourself) to have some downtime. As you’re sitting around the table, take a moment to really look at and appreciate each person in the room. If you find yourself getting irritable or feeling exhausted, take a time out so that you can recharge (see the tip above) and so that you can really BE with the people you love!
- Begin thinking about what you’d like your love life and relationship to look like in 2015. As we begin to close out this year and move into next year, take a moment to take inventory of your love life.
If you’re single, ask yourself –
- What do I want my experience of dating to be like?
- What do I want the experience of being in a relationship to be like?
- What kind of girlfriend do I want to be?
- When I take a moment to stop and reflect on December 31st next year, how will I describe myself and my love life/relationship?
If you’re married or in a relationship, ask yourself –
- What do I want the experience of being in a relationship to be like?
- What do I want to see more/less of in my relationship?
- When I take a moment to stop and reflect December 31st next year, how will I describe myself and my relationship?
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 17, 2014 | Dating, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever had one of those moments when you feel like you are exactly where you were meant to be?
Last week was like that for me!
I spent the first part of the week in California with one of my mentors and her coaches, and then spent the last part of the week attending a very intensive 3-day business workshop where I had incredible personal breakthroughs.
I just love transformation, don’t you?
During both events, I had the opportunity to listen to amazing women share about their personal journeys of how they came to where they are now in their lives, relationships, and businesses. With each interaction, I was able to connect with them on very personal level and share some of my heart with them, as well.
Some of the stories I heard this week were heart-breaking.
I met women who had lost everything due to natural disasters and unforeseen circumstances and had to rebuild their lives.
I spoke to women who had hit a wall in their love lives and, with coaching, were able to turn their relationships completely around.
I met women who are still experiencing the dark part of their journeys, but who were committed to working on transforming those areas of their lives.
I saw women break through their fears right in front of my very eyes!
All of these women – from different parts of the world, economic situations, and life circumstances – shared one thing in common: The unwillingness to stay stuck where they were.
Some may call that perseverance, tenacity, or determination. I call it the Essence of who we are as women.
There is something that lies within the core of our Selves – some refer to it as our spirit, or soul – that we are equipped with, which makes us able to experience pain and resolve to move forward with grace and strength.
If you are in one of those dark moments in your life –
If your relationship is falling apart and you don’t know where or how to begin to turn it around…
If you are frustrated with dating and are close to wanting to give up (or you already have)…
If you are feeling lost, lonely, and afraid all the time and long to love and be loved…
I want you to know that you are not alone.
No matter what it is you are going through, there is love, peace, and freedom on the other side of this! It may not seem like it now, but I promise you – because I have been through my own dark valleys when it comes to love – that you can experience more love, joy, and fulfillment than you can imagine!
It will take some work to get there, and some of it won’t be “easy,” but, as I said, you won’t be alone.
As we approach the end of 2014, take an inventory of your love life. Ask yourself:
- Is my love life everything I want it to be?
- Even if things are “good” or “okay,” is there another level of love and intimacy I’d like to discover?
- If my love life is not what I want it to be, am I willing to take a courageous step forward and do the inner and outer Heart Work to shift that and begin seeing my heart’s desires fulfilled?
These are questions only you can answer. Only you know what’s really going on in your heart.
Whatever your answers to these questions, I’m happy to help you walk through any of them, if you’re ready. I truly am here to serve and support you, and my commitment is that you actually begin to see your heart’s desires fulfilled. Just click here to set up a time to talk.
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 28, 2014 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever had an experience that completely changes the way you see and experience life, even if nothing in your life changes?
That’s what I experienced this weekend!
Thanks to my amazing sister, Michelle, who gave me one of my best birthday presents ever, I was able to attend Oprah Winfrey’s “Live the Life You Want Weekend”!
Beyond the thrill of having the opportunity to see Oprah, Deepak Chopra, and Iyanla Vanzant – three of my favorite thought leaders, along with three new favorites: Elizabeth Gilbert, Rob Bell, and Amy Purdy – in person, it was the messages they shared that most touched and moved me!
The entire weekend was about embracing and living your life’s purpose and becoming who you were created to be so that you can have the life you want: The Life Your Heart Desires!
One powerful, heart-shaking quote after another filled me with more love, joy, and hopeful anticipation than I could have ever imagined! And, with each one, Michelle and I thought of you, and how we could use what we were learning and reaffirming to inspire and guide you to have the life and love your heart desires!
Why did we think of you?
Because our life’s purposes is completely intertwined with yours!
See, it is our life’s mission to ensure that each and every woman on the planet has the experience of loving and being loved each and every day of her life and is living the life of her dreams!
One of the most powerful quotes of weekend was spoken during a benediction Rev. Rob Bell said at the end of his talk. In the blessing, he prayed that by embracing the life we already have, may we come to see that we are already living the life we want.
How powerful is that?!?
What it made me see is that everything in my life – every sad moment and every happy one, every struggle and every celebration, every breakdown and every breakthrough, and every single choice I’ve ever made – has led me to the moment I am living right now.
And, if I embrace all of it with arms wide open, rather than resisting and pushing away the events and circumstances I don’t like, if I stop pretending that I don’t feel the pain and sadness when things don’t go the way I hoped they would, and if I take the time to just see and listen to the lesson I’m being taught in that moment, then I can trust that I am exactly where I need to be on the path leading me to where I want to go!
The same is true for you.
I know that not everything in your life looks the way you’d like it to.
I know that you have challenges and situations that feel like immovable barriers right now.
I know that you’ve experienced heartache and that even the thought of ever experiencing something like that again keeps you stuck and not wanting to take the steps you know can lead you in the direction of your hopes and dreams.
I also know that you have within you all of the power, beauty and grace to move forward and break through those barriers with strength, grace, and ease.
I know that you have the strength to face the choices you have made, to forgive yourself, and to break free from all of that unnecessary pain you’ve been carrying with you.
And, most of all, I know that you don’t have to do it alone. That’s why we’re here. That is our life’s purpose.
So, wherever you are on your journey – whether you are on the precipice of a huge breakthrough, or in a dark valley – know that there is a light within you just waiting to be ignited and unleashed!
Know that, if you allow it to, everything around you is pulling you toward the life and love your heart desires. You just have to let go of the past, the fear, and the heartache, so that you can let loose and set yourself free!
Nothing would make us happier than to see you living your every dream come true, except knowing that we, in some small way, played a part in helping that happen for you!
So, if you are ready to begin experience the life, happiness, and love that is waiting for you, know that we are only a phone call away!
Just click here to schedule a Ready for Love Breakthrough Session!
Know and believe that you truly can have the life and love your heart desires, and that we’re here to serve you!
Until our hearts meet again, always remember that you are loved!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
