I remember just four years ago, how hopelessly stuck I felt in my job.
Yes, I was making great money, but I was miserable! I honestly felt like part of me was dying inside every time I sat at my computer.
See, I have been a coach, speaker, teacher, and trainer since I was 17 years old.
My heart beats to connect with and help people go from wherever they are to levels they can’t even begin to imagine.
But, due to downsizing and restructuring, my boss, in an effort to avoid letting me go, had put me in a department where all I did for 8-12 hours (or more) per day was type up questions for online courses.
As I said, I could feel my soul cringing and a little bit of life escaping me every time I was up until 2:00am, crying at my computer, wondering why the heck I was so afraid to let go of that paycheck!
It wasn’t until I received the call that my position was being eliminated that everything changed.
See, even though I was being told that I was being laid off, they offered me another job, making the same amount of money, but it would require me traveling 80% of the time. I thought about my husband and kids, and, as afraid as I was of losing 60% of our income in one full swoop, I refused to spend my life on a plane away from the three people I love most in this world.
So, I walked away.
And it was both the scariest and most liberating moment of my life, because, thanks to walking away from that position, I now have the opportunity to do what I love and was born to do as a relationship coach!
There is NOTHING more rewarding than knowing that I am living my purpose and helping women’s dreams come true! And now I also get to help relationship coaches build successful coaching practices so that they can help other women’s dreams come true, too! The love just keeps on spreading!
Oh! And I’m making more money than I ever did in my old job!
So, what does this have to do with you and your love life?
Are you in a relationship right now that you KNOW is not the right one for you?
Are you holding onto it because you are too afraid to let go and open your heart to loving and being loved again?
Or, are you in a relationship that you want to stay in, but you feel like it’s not going anywhere, like the love has stopped growing, and you feel stuck, frustrated and alone even though you’re “with” someone?
Whatever your version of “stuck” is, I want you to know that, as afraid as you are of letting go, that false sense of safety that continuing to hold on is giving you is robbing you of the opportunity to actually feel the love, joy, and fulfillment you can feel in a relationship that is loving, exciting, fulfilling, and fun!
But, just as when you were a kid playing on the monkey bars, in order to move forward, you’ve got to be willing to let go!
If you’re tired of feeling stuck and you want to know how to move forward, take a look at this quick video I shot for you.
In it, I explain the 3 steps you can take to begin moving forward in your relationship.
I know it can feel scary.
I know it feels “safer” to be stuck.
But the only thing that’s really happening is that you are cheating yourself out of the love and happiness that are waiting for you.
Is there a man in your life that you’ve been afraid to let go of – either because you won’t break up or leave him, or because you’re still holding onto the memory of him?
Do you know that the very act of not letting go is what is stopping you from welcoming the right man – the one who is ready to love you NOW – from coming into your life?
Don’t believe me?
Just ask my client, Osmara!
If you follow us on Facebook, you saw the picture I posted earlier this week of the 3 new engagement rings 3 of my clients are sporting!
Yes! That’s right! In the past 2 months, 3 beautiful women who once thought that they would never find the right man for them got engaged to the love of their lives! And we couldn’t be happier for them!
You see that beauty on the left? That one belongs to Osmara!
Osmara and I have been friends for a while and I’ve seen her go through both happy and painful times in her love life. After knowing each other for a few years, she began working with me as a client, and I was able to help her through a very difficult relationship and break up.
Well, rather than me telling you her story, here’s the comment she left in the FB post about her journey to love:
We first started working together when I was single in 2012 and ready to find love. Soon after, I manifested a man who would be my boyfriend for a year and a half. In this relationship (and the subsequent ending) I would be broken open and impelled to connect with myself on the deepest of levels.
When we broke up I was still holding on because I thought he was “the one” and I was scared he was “as good as it got.”
Talk about Lack Mentality!
You held my hand during very dark, scary times… And I will never forget that.
I could write a whole blog post on this story and maybe one day I will…
I was so infatuated with this relationship that I didn’t even realize, I actually met my fiance and future husband (I love saying that!) when I was with my ex! He was at a seminar we attended and I would have never guessed he’d be my true ONE then.
So I picked up the pieces of my shattered illusions and licked my wounds and came to love me and stand strong as just me. Single, in my solitude, I learned to come home to myself.
Then last September, Ash, my fiance, unexpectedly came into my life. Our first conversation was only
meant to be 45 min and it went on for over 4 hours. That was the first of many conversations that went on for hours and hours.
I’ve never felt more at home than w him. It’s not an effort or work, it flows. That’s not to say we don’t have to work on our s**t or that we don’t bump heads because, oh, boy, yes we do!
But the work I did with you, Gladys, helped prep me to be able to accept this love that is everything I’ve been dreaming of. It helped me to see where I was holding on to the old because of fear. And I’m so glad I let go, because right as I did, in a matter of days, mi amor (my love) came right into my reality.
Eternally grateful, humbled, and inspired. xx
Isn’t that amazing?
The man of her dreams was standing right in front of her all along, but she couldn’t see him because she was too afraid to let go of a relationship that was causing her more pain and heartache than she ever needed to feel.
It was only when she had the courage to let go and love herself more than she loved him that she was able to come to the place where she was ready to love and be loved again!
Maybe you can relate to this story…
Maybe you are so afraid to let go of the man who is not right for you, isn’t committing to you, or is not loving you the way you want and deserve to be loved because you are so afraid of being alone.
Maybe you’re afraid that you won’t ever find someone you connect with or love as much as him.
Or maybe you’re afraid that there isn’t anyone out there who can love you the way you dream of being loved.
Whatever your reason for not letting go, you need to realize that, in holding onto him, those clenched hands aren’t able to open up and receive the love that’s already there for you!
I’m not saying it’s “easy” to do. But, with the right support and guidance, you can do the Heart Work release yourself from a painful relationship and open your heart to give and receive the love your heart most desires.
Remember: You can still love him and choose to love yourself enough to let him go.
Today’s a bit of a sentimental one for me. My older son – my first baby – turned 13 today!
I keep looking at his baby pictures, remembering thousands of magical moments, and keep asking myself, “How in the world did 13 years go by this fast?!?”
This got me thinking about how easy it is to put things off for later, to fool ourselves into thinking that there are things that can wait until tomorrow, and leaving things undone and unsaid until another day.
I’ll admit it. I fall into this trap, too. And I should know better!
I know that tomorrow isn’t promised. I’ve lost people I love, like my dad, my first husband, and my best friend just four months ago. I also know someone who just lost her daughter last week, and my heart breaks for her.
The truth is that there are things in our lives – unimportant, insignificant things like painting a room or cleaning out a closet – that can wait until the next day, next month, or next year to get done or taken care of.
Your love life or relationship, however, is NOT one of them!
If one of the deepest desires of your heart is to share your life with a man who loves, supports, and adores you, and not having that loving, happy relationship you’ve always wanted and dreamed of is not present in your life right now, then it’s not something you want to ignore or pretend that it isn’t important to you.
And doing nothing about it is definitely not going to bring that love you want into your life!
So, what do you do?
The first step is to acknowledge the desires of your heart.
Wanting to share your life with a man is not a sign of “neediness,” weakness, or that you aren’t happy with yourself.
Wanting to transform and renew the relationship with the man you love is not a waste of time, or senseless.
It’s simply acknowledging what your heart already knows to be true!
The next step is to look to see what it is that is standing in the way of you having what you want.
It’s important to look within on this one. Saying that something or someone outside of you is what’s standing in the way of you having your heart’s desires has you feel powerless because, well, you are.
There isn’t anything outside of you that is 100% in your realm of control. So, while there may be some outside factors that may be contributing to you not having your heart’s desires, you want to focus your energy on the thought and behavior patterns that keep being repeated over and over again in your relationship.
For the next 3 days, really notice your thoughts and behaviors, particularly when it comes to dating or your relationship. Notice what the most recurring thoughts and actions are – especially the ones that lead to disappointment or frustration. Jot them down in a notebook or in your phone. This is going to give you some truly eye-opening information you can use for the next step
The third step is to take intentional and inspired action to transform those thoughts and behaviors that keep sabotaging your chances of having the love you want.
Once you’ve noticed the thought and behavior patterns that are blocking you from experiencing the love and happiness you want in your relationship, choose one you want to stop. I recommend beginning with the one that is causing you the most pain. However, since all of them are sabotaging your happiness, choose any one of them and focus on transforming that thought or behavior.
Some of the best ways to transform thought and behavior patterns are to make a list of affirmations and inspired actions you will take the next time you feel triggered or fall into the pattern.
Now, it takes a high level of awareness to (1) catch yourself before you fall into the pattern, (2) interrupt the pattern, (3) and replace it with a new, effective, and empowering pattern. It’s always most effective when you have a coach or mentor who can help you create your action plan and provides accountability so that you don’t slip back into the old, familiar, dysfunctional patterns.
If you’re truly serious about having today be the day you begin transforming your love life and relationship, I invite you to try this for the next 24 days:
Acknowledge the desires of your heart when it comes to love.
Truly make a concerted effort over the course of 3 days to notice the thought and behavior patterns that sabotage you having what you most want.
Choose one of those dysfunctional patterns that you would like to transform.
Create an inspired action plan that has you being intentional about replacing and transforming that thought and/or behavior pattern.
Carry out the plan for 21 days. It takes a minimum of 21 days to create a new pattern or habit, so this will allow you to practice daily replacing the dysfunctional thoughts and behaviors with new ones that give you the results you want.
If you’d like support or feedback regarding your inspired plan of action, especially steps 4 and 5, simply schedule a complimentary Love Breakthrough Session with me and we’ll talk about the best way to interrupt your old patterns of sabotage and replace them with new patterns that lead you to the love your heart desires!
Tomorrow isn’t promised, and today – right now – is the perfect time for you to stop putting your happiness off for another day. You have the power within you to create the love you want. You were created to love and be loved. Don’t let anything stand in the way of you having the love you desire and deserve! Schedule your Love Breakthrough Session now!
Yesterday was the first day of school for my kids, and I took the opportunity to pamper myself and get a deep-tissue Swedish massage, courtesy of my wonderful hubby!
As I was lying on the table, enjoying the soft meditation music, the candles, and looking forward to a nice, relaxing massage, all of a sudden, all I could feel was PAIN! And lots of it!
I actually found myself holding my breath a few times because of the pain I could feel under the masseuse’s expert hands!
At one point, I thought I would tell her to stop, and then I noticed something…
I began to notice how my muscles were responding to her touch.
I became aware of how, while I wasn’t stressed out or feeling pain when I first laid down on the table, there were parts of my body that were obviously story pain and stress, based on the “knots” she was finding and deeply massaging.
And, I noticed how she would dig really deep into a muscle, work there for a while, go somewhere else, and then come back to it and work on it some more.
That’s when I thought of you! (Yes, even while getting a massage, you are on my mind! Can’t help it!)
Here’s why:
I started thinking about how, sometimes, we have some “deep-tissue” pain stored in our memories, our hearts, and our bodies that are related to the past.
Maybe it has to do with a relationship that ended painfully.
Maybe you’re in a relationship right now, where you’re feeling some pain.
Or perhaps you’re feeling stuck in your life and you keep wondering, “I’ve prayed, meditated, read all these books, watched videos, attended courses, and worked with different coaches! When am I finally going to break through this?”
I get it! I’ve been there myself! And, here’s the deal:
Sometimes, you just need to go back and dig a little deeper to truly release the pain so that you can move forward with joy, peace, and the love you desire and deserve!
It’s during those times of release that you are able to put the past back in the past where it belongs so that you can move toward the present and future that are waiting for you!
Well, I was so inspired by all of the thoughts and insights I had during that massage, that, when I finished, I went to Facebook and shot a live video (Well, two, actually, because I lost connection during the first one, but I just had to share this with you!)
I know it can be tempting to feel like the “deep-tissue” inner work you’ve done isn’t working, but… what if…?
What if you’re just inches away from your next breakthrough?
What if you can dig a little deeper and finally have the happiness and love you want?
What would that make possible for you?
Check out the video and let me know what opens up for you!
Don’t forget to comment below! We love hearing from you!
Today Ric and I are celebrating our 16th Wedding Anniversary, and we’re about to leave for a 4-day getaway, but I wanted to share a short message of hope and love with you first, because, as usual, you are on my mind.
I know that you may be feeling afraid and hopeless when it comes to your love life. You might be wondering if you will ever have the loving, happy, passionate relationship you want with a man who is loving, faithful, supportive, and whose mission in life is to see you happy.
While it’s been 17 years since I felt that way, I don’t ever for a moment forget that pain and it’s why I’ve dedicated my life to helping women move past that pain and toward the love that I know is waiting for them.
I got a little emotional in the video below. I won’t apologize for it. I feel your pain and I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that you CAN have the love and happiness your heart desires.
So receive this message of hope and love and know that, if you’re willing to be courageous enough to move past your pain and fear, there is more love, happiness, and peace than you can begin to imagine waiting for you on the other side!
I just want to warn yo right off the bat that you might not like what you’re about to hear, but I have to say it anyway because I care entirely way too much about you to not tell you what I see is happening!
I actually had an entirely different message and video ready to send to you today, but I did some heart-and-soul searching, and I decided I needed to send this message instead.
And, like I said, you may not like it. It may upset you. And I’m aware that you may even choose to unsubscribe.
However, I’m practicing what I teach and I’m not going to allow my fear of not being liked or of you getting upset to stop me, because I know that everything I’m saying is coming from a place of pure love!
So, please watch this video and, whatever your reaction is, go ahead and send me an email. I’m a big girl and I’ll be okay! 🙂
Most of all, if it speaks to you and you are highly committed and ready to take action, I want to make sure that you’re at the top of my list!
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