I had finally started getting to the place where I felt I could at least start going out to meet people. I didn’t feel ready to fall in love, but I did want to stop feeling the sadness and loneliness I’d felt since my husband had passed away.
There was one guy I knew who I’d been talking on the phone with. We’d gone out with a group once and then went out on a date, but he was very clear that he did not want to be in a relationship. I told him I felt the same way, but, as the weeks went on, I found myself calling him when he didn’t call me and leaving voicemail messages, texting him, and constantly trying to get on his radar (all the mistakes I now teach women to avoid making)!
We were supposed to go out one Friday night (I had asked him out!) and, when I hadn’t heard from him for several days, I decided on Friday morning that I’d been stood up.
All of my fears and insecurities around ever being able to love and be loved again came rushing to the surface. I cried until my eyes hurt and just kept repeating, “This is why it’s just better for me to be alone.”
Thankfully, my best friend was NOT going to leave me in that space, and she invited me to go out dancing that evening.
I decided that dancing with her was better than being in my small apartment alone, so we went out dancing.
Right before we walked in, I decided, “I’m just going to have FUN! I’m not going to think about him or about how hurt I feel. I really just want to have fun!”
And, my goodness, did I have fun!
I danced with everyone who asked me to. I probably danced with at least 12 different guys.
All except the one guy who kept staring at me from the DJ booth.
He was so cute and just kept bobbing his head to the music while holding his Corona.
We kept catching one another’s eyes, smile, and then I’d go back to dancing.
Long story short, right as I was getting ready to leave the bar, our eyes locked and he nodded his head for me to come over.
I was not about to walk across a dance floor to talk to some guy (!), so I mocked him and made the same gesture to him with my head. And he came over!
We talked for several hours and he asked me for my number (I was too scared to give him my cell phone number, so I gave him the number to my work pager number! Oy!)
I gave him a hug as he left and could not stop smiling.
I didn’t know that evening that he would call me the next day one minute after getting out of work.
I didn’t know that evening that we’d go out on our first date a couple of days later.
And I surely didn’t know that night that we’d be married a year later!
All I knew was that I was grateful that I hadn’t let the unhappiness of one moment stop me from allowing myself to experience a fun evening that, had I stayed home, could have resulted in me never having met him!
I don’t know what painful situation you’ve been through or are going through.
I don’t know why you’ve held on to a dead-end relationship or a broken heart for so long.
I don’t know why you won’t do what it takes to break through that pain and fear so that you can experience love again.
What I do know is that, unless something changes, nothing will change! You’ll keep feeling sad, hurt, and hopeless, and, meanwhile, be missing out on the opportunity to experience the love of a lifetime.
I also know that we can help you get to the other side of pain and suffering so that you can begin feeling the love and happiness you desire and deserve.
So, what can you do about it?
Be real with yourself about the fact that, right now, you are the one standing in your own way. Whatever happened in the past has already happened. It is not happening right now. The only thing happening right now is whatever choices you are making that are stopping you from releasing yourself from the past so that you can experience love NOW!
Write down a description of what it is you want to experience in a romantic relationship. And as you write it, believe it! For example: “I want a, fun, loving, passionate relationship where I feel completely loved and accepted for who I am!” Include the words that matter most to you in your description (love, trust, acceptance, honesty, etc.) and be really detailed in describing how you want to feel!
Write down three steps you can take to begin moving in the direction of creating this type of relationship.
Do you need to create and post an online profile?
Do you need to get out of your house and actually start meeting people?
Do you need to apologize to your boyfriend or husband for something you’ve been doing that has been negatively impacting your relationship so that you can begin experiencing love and intimacy again?
Be clear in the action steps you are going to take and then give yourself a deadline on your calendar by when you will take each step.
Now, I get that it’s not always easy to do this kind of work yourself. You may feel like you’re not sure what to write or what’s standing in your way. You also may need someone to help hold you accountable so that you will actually do what you say you’re going to do.
That’s where we come in!
Now, this is my anniversary weekend, so I’m taking the weekend off, but I do have some spots open on my calendar for Monday and Tuesday of next week.
If you’d like to schedule time to talk on either of those days, go ahead and click the link below and schedule a time to talk. (Act fast, my calendar fills up quickly!)
And, since you have to wait a few of days before you can speak to me, I’ll send you a little something you can use between now and our call!
I had no way of knowing 16 years ago that my life was going to change forever! There was no way I could have known that I was about to enter into my own love story of a lifetime!
I want the same for you! If you’re ready to take the first step toward your love story of a lifetime, click below, and let’s talk!
This past week has been one of those lesson-learning not-so-comfortable weeks
You know… the kind of week that pretty much changes
Not only was my oldest son was a way at summer camp, several states away from me, for a whole week, but I also could not communicate with him to make sure that he was
As I’ve mentioned before, my son has Autism, so I really had to surrender and have faith that he would be able to deal all of the things that were so far outside of his comfort zone (and mine!), like not knowing what was going to be served for meals, sleeping in a tent during the thunderstorms that came through at night, and facing his fear of spiders and
When I saw my son step out of the bus on Saturday night, it took everything in the world for me not to lose it! I felt so much joy and relief! He was in one piece, smiling, looked like he’d matured 5 years, and all he wanted to do was hug
Yes, there were “horror stories” of spiders and bugs and rain and mud, but, overall, he had a good time, he asked for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when he didn’t like the food being served, tried to keep the bugs away from him with repellent, and he said he was so tired he slept through the
As uncomfortable and unfamiliar as it all felt for him, he got through it (and so did
What this week taught me is that, even though things may be scary and uncomfortable – and way out of your comfort zone – it’s only when you step outside of our comfort zone that you can
Think about it.
The results that you have today are the results you’ve been able to produce from inside of your comfort zone.
The relationships you’ve had (or not had) the experiences you’ve created, and the current state of your love life were all produced inside of your comfort zone.
The comfort zone keeps you feeling “safe.” It has you make predictable choices. It doesn’t ask you to risk too much, because that would feel uncomfortable.
The truth is, however that the results you really want can’t be produced inside of your comfort zone.
If you want to change your current situation, you’re going to have to be willing to step beyond what feels safe and comfortable and take a risk.
You’re going to have to be willing to let go of the familiar patterns and behaviors that have been keeping you stuck and feeling hopeless and alone.
You’re going to need to make a change.
And, yes, it’s going to feel scary.
And, no, there are no guarantees.
On the other hand, the only guarantee inside of your comfort zone is that you’ll continue making the same choices, getting the same results, and having the same painful experiences you’ve been having.
Imagine for a second what you’d be able to do if you stepped outside of your comfort?
What would be possible for you?
If you’re really readyto step outside of your comfort zone, but you’re not sure how, go ahead and click on the link below to set up a time to talk. I’ve got just a few spots available for next week, so make sure you click below and schedule time now!
On this call I promise to help you create a plan for stepping outside of this comfort zone so that you can begin to move past whatever has been stopping you in having the kind of loving relationship you want!
No more “being comfortable,” but not getting what you want.
No more pretending you’re okay with the status quo when you know you want more!
It’s time to step outside your comfort zone and get the love you want!
No matter where you are right now, if it’s not where you want to be in terms of being in the loving relationship your heart desires, then I’m going to encourage you to take a step outside of your comfort zone, and click on the link below!
Are you tired of feeling lonely, frustrated, and hopeless about love and relationships?
What if you could learn the skills to attracting and creating the kind of love and romance your heart truly desires?
If you are ready to break through your love barriers and finally experience the happiness and love you have always dreamed of, click below to listen to how you can end the struggle and suffering around dating and relationships and get ready to love again!
How can I break through my love barriers and attract new and extraordinary love? (Very Special Offer!)
Are there patterns that keep showing up in your relationships?
Dating unfaithful or unavailable men?
Short-lived romances that end after a few dates?
Getting emotionally attached too quickly to a man?
Having sex too early in a relationship?
Knowing that there is a pattern is only the first step in possibly breaking through it. To truly break through a pattern, you need to know how to distinguish and dismantle the pattern!
In the recording below, you can go through an exercise to identify one of your patterns and listen in on a live coaching session with a participant on our “Love Breakthrough” Live Q&A Call. You’ll also learn the steps you can take to break through your own self-sabotaging patterns once and for all!
How can I break the patterns that keep sabotaging my relationships? (Exercise and Live Coaching Session)
You know he’s a great match for you, but he’s lost interest and you want to know how to “get him back”!
This can lead you to put yourself in the position of pursuing a man, rather than being pursued by him. And why is it that you want to be with a man who is not interested in you in the first place?
In the clip below listen to us answer the question from a woman who wanted to know how to get a man who was previously interested in her to be attracted to her again.
Dating more than one man at a time is a great way to avoid getting too quickly attached to a man. It’s also a great way to determine if the man you are choosing to spend more time with is the right one for you. Click below to hear how we answered a reader’s question about how to know which guy to pick when you’re dating more than one man at a time.
How do I know which man to choose if I’m dating more than one at a time?
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