This weekend, I did one of the scariest things I’ve ever done in my life, and I learned a lot about myself!
As many of you know, my older son has Asperger’s Syndrome – a mild form of autism. Recently, we told him about his diagnosis and we have taken on really empowering him to try new things, stretch outside of his comfort zone, and have confidence in himself.
Well, as they say: Be careful what you wish for!
This Saturday, I woke up at 4:30am to drop my son off at the church where his Boy Scouts troop was leaving for a full week of sleep-away summer camp!
I can’t tell you how incredibly nervous, unsure of myself, and terrified I was. This was the first time he’d be away from us for more than 48 hours – and in a completely different state!
I wish I could say that I was the picture of grace and ease.
I wasn’t.
As much as I tried, I simply could not hold back the tears. My baby was going far away and I would not be there if he got hurt, scared, or did not know how to do something. I had to trust that he would be able to communicate to those around him when he needed help. I had to believe that he would be able to problem solve and help himself.
I felt completely helpless and afraid. And it was written all over my face (in big, shiny tears)!
Thankfully, there are other mothers in the troop who have been through this and they gave me their phone numbers, have been reaching out, texting and emailing me to see how I’m doing.
Now, as a relationship coach, I’m usually the one who is helping and supporting other women through their own fears, pain, and insecurity. When it was my turn to be on the receiving end of that type of love and concern, and I have to admit that it wasn’t very comfortable for me!
I noticed how I was trying to play it cool at first, not completely open to receiving their genuine concern and affection. It made me feel so vulnerable to let them see how afraid I really was.
I also noticed how I kept thinking it was “worse” for me, because my son has special needs. I didn’t think they could understand what I was going through because they hadn’t been through my experience. How could they possibly know what it was like?
Then there was a moment where I stopped and thought about you – the women who trust me to guide you from some of the most heartbreaking and frightening moments of your lives to a place of hope and happiness.
I thought about how you open your heart in such a beautifully vulnerable way, sharing it with me and allowing me to see into the deepest parts of it because you trust that together we can find a way to the other side.
Realizing this gave me courage to allow these women who I don’t really know very well, but who I see want to offer comfort and reassurance, to be there for me. I’m allowing myself to be guided and taken care of, and to learn from their experiences. I’m still afraid and unsure, but I’m trusting, receiving, and releasing control and it feels great!
The best part is knowing that I’m not in this alone!
So, what about you?
Are you ready to open your heart and allow someone to help you break through your own fears, pain, and doubt?
Are you ready to talk to someone who’s been where you are and can show you how to get to the other side, where extraordinary love is already waiting for you?
If you are, go ahead and click here to schedule a Ready to Love Session. During this call, we’ll look to see where you are currently in your love life, what is standing in your way of having the love you want, and how to get to the other side of it so that you can experience the love and life your heart desires!
Remember: You’re not in this alone. There is hope. And I’m here to help!
Schedule your Ready to Love Session now!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
After working on ourselves, trying hard to make changes, and not seeing the results we thought we’d have, we begin to wondering whether we should just stop trying so hard, throw in the towel, and give up on our dreams.
I’ve been there myself, and I know how painful and disillusioning it can be to think that what my heart desires just “wasn’t meant to be.”
When you have a big dream – the type of dream that moves and inspires you, that fills you up with joy at the very thought of it, and that you know in your heart it’s what you want more than anything else in the world – and it doesn’t seem to be happening, it can be heartbreaking.
In those heart-wrenching times, it’s easy to let your fears and doubts get in the way of your vision. It can feel like it’s easier to just let your dream go and walk away from it, rather than continue taking the steps that will lead you in the direction of making those dreams come true.
Maybe your dream is that you’ll meet the man who’s perfect for you, but you’re tired of dating men who aren’t interested in being in a relationship or with whom you just don’t feel a real connection. This scares you, and the little voice in your head keeps telling you that maybe you’re just not meant to be in a relationship.
Maybe your dream is about reigniting the love and passion you and your man once shared. But it’s been such a long time since you’ve felt that closeness, and you wonder whether the relationship was ever meant to be and if it’s even worth saving.
Maybe your dream is to go back to school, start a new career, or launch that business you’ve always wanted to have, but you’ve been too afraid to step away from what you’re already doing and from the salary you’re already making to branch off into something new. So you try to convince yourself that maybe you’re already doing what you were meant to do, even though in your heart of hearts, you know that simply isn’t true.
No matter what your dream is, if you’re thinking about giving it up, I’m here to tell you: DON’T!
There is a reason that dream was placed in your heart in the first place, and you owe it to yourself to do everything you can to make it come true!
There were times in the beginning of my marriage where I wondered whether I’d made a mistake and married the wrong man. I’d tell myself it would be easier to just be single again so that I could find someone else that I could make things work with. The truth is I was terrified to make the changes I knew could help our relationship because I was afraid he wouldn’t want to make it work, and then I’d feel rejected.
There have been times in my business where I’ve wondered if maybe it would just be easier to go get a job or do something else. While I knew in my heart that relationship coaching is what I was born to do, I was afraid to do the work it would take to reach out to new clients, that I’d something in a blog post or email that would upset someone, and that I might not be able to actually make a living doing what I love.
As scared as I was in both of these situations, the one thing I refused to do was give up. Why?
Because my faith in my dream was bigger than any fear that might show it’s ugly face!
A huge part of loving yourself is being true to yourself and honoring your heart’s desires. When you sell out on yourself and your dreams, you’ll never really experience the fulfillment you long for!
So, how do you push past the fear and keep believing in your dreams, even when things are not flowing, you’re not getting the results you want, or you have other people telling that maybe you should just give up?
You recommit.
You recommit to yourself and your dream.
You remind yourself that this is your dream, this is your life, and that it’s up to you to make that dream come true!
You find people in your life who believe in you and your dream and are willing to help you make it come true!
You remember that the dream in your heart was placed there by something greater than you and that this means that there IS a way to make it happen!
So, right now, take a moment and think about your dream.
Have you been taking the steps to push past your fear and make it happen?
Have you reached out to people who believe in you and who can help you in making that dream come true?
Have you made your faith in yourself and your dream bigger than your fears?
If you answered “No” to any of the above questions, I have another question for you:
Are you ready to recommit to your dream?
If you are, I first want to congratulation you and let you know that I’d love to be one of those people who will stand for and encourage you in helping it come true!
I also want to invite you to post it in the comments section of the blog and declareyour re-commitment to your dreamand one step you are going to take within the next 7 days to make it come true!
Something powerful happens when you are courageous enough to declare your dream publicly. It invites others to stand with and for you in helping them become a reality!
And, as always, I want to encourage you to let us know if there is any way we can help support you in taking the steps that lead you in the direction of your dreams!
Here’s to living a life of dreams come true!
Remember to post below your re-commitment and one step you’re going to take in the direction of your dreams!
As 2013 comes to an end and we ring in 2014, Michelle and I want to wish you a very Happy New Year!
We know that the end of the year can fill you with a mixture of disappointment at not having accomplished everything you wanted to experience this year, along with excitement about what may be possible in the upcoming one.
identify and bring closure to the fears, resentments and regrets that have kept you from achieving your love and intimacy goals
create and declare what the relationship of your dreams will look like in 2014
identify the steps you need to take to make those dreams come true!
We’re excited about 2014 and all of the magic and miracles that we’re going to create, and we want the same for you!
Imagine what it will feel like on December 31, 2014, when you look back on the Love and Intimacy resolutions you set in January and the happiness you will feel at knowing that not only did keep them, but that the the life and love you’re experiencing are beyond your wildest dreams!
Join us on Thursday, January 9th, and begin making 2014 The Year of Love and Intimacy for YOU!
Date: Thursday, January 9, 2014
Time: 9:00pm ET
Cost: FREE
Call-in Details will be sent shortly after you submit your information here.
Now this you may find surprising! According to a Citi/LinkedIn survey that was published earlier this week:
When it comes to defining success, men place more emphasis on marriage and children: 79% of men equate “having it all” with being in a “strong, loving marriage” vs. only 66% of women who feel the same. And when it comes to kids, 86% of men factor children into their definition of success vs. 73% of women.
I have to say I was a bit surprised when I read those statistics! But not really…
I’ve spoken to women from all over the world and time and time again, I hear how they are not ready to start dating because they’re building their businesses, moving up in their careers, and, many times, afraid that men will feel too “intimidated” by their success to want to be in a relationship with them.
That’s where I have to stop them!
Of course, it’s your choice to focus on whatever you want to focus! It’s your life and you get to create it any which way you’d like. However, I want to make something crystal clear:
You do not have to choose between having an amazing, profitable career or an extraordinary lifelong romance. You can have it all!
An empowered choice is one in which you choose what you want, simply because you choose it. Not because you think it’s the way it has to be. Not because you are afraid that you can’t have everything your heart desires. And certainly not because you think you’d have to settle for anything less than what you want and deserve!
If one of the desires of your heart is to be in a happy, loving, fulfilling relationship that leads to marriage and perhaps a family, do not pretend that that’s not what you really want.
Don’t put it off. Don’t be “reasonable” or practical about it. But don’t be naïve and think it’s “just going to happen,” either!
Just as you are willing to do what it takes to move up in your career, build your business and live the lifestyle you want to live, know that it’s going to take some effort on your part to attract and meet a man who is going to love and accept you and who wants to share your life – not because your life is not already complete – but because he wants to enhance and make it even better with you!
So, if you want to improve your career or business, then join me this Wednesday and Thursday, November 13th and 14th at the Women’s Success Summit VIII, where the theme is “Show Me the Money,” and we will! (You can use the code HeartsDesire at checkout to save 20% and you’ll be helping me get a 5-minute on-stage commercial!).
And, if your definition of success alsoincludes being in a loving, passionate relationship, them make sure you connect with us so that we can talk about how you can begin to attract and create the love of your dreams!
Already in a relationship? Then let’s talk about how to take both your career and your marriage to the next level of amazing!
Here’s the deal, you were created to love, to succeed, and to be happy. Don’t settle for anything less!
Create and live a life you absolutely love!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Yesterday was a real exercise for me in being willing to step outside of my comfort zone.
On Wednesday night, I worked into the wee hours of the morning on a big project, and quite frankly did not feel very perky or pretty on Thursday! I was tired and knew I had a long day ahead of me of phone calls, research, and a webinar I was presenting that night.
At about 3:30 in the afternoon I received a call from someone who works at a local TV station saying he needed to speak with me ASAP. I called him back and he wanted to know if I could come to the studio for a segment they were doing about the benefits of online dating. Immediately I said, “Yes, of course.” That’s when he told me I needed to be there in four hours! I thought it was an upcoming interview… Not one happening that night!
I tried to get out of it. I told him I was tired and that I could pack clothes in the bags under my eyes. I also told him I had to lead a webinar at 9:00 and the segment was not airing until 8:30, and that I was sorry, but I couldn’t see how it was going to work.
That’s when he said he’d send a car to pick me up and drop me off so that I would not have drive, that he’d have a makeup artist ready to greet me when I got there, and that he’d arrange for me to have a private conference room with Internet connection so that I could go upstairs after the interview and conduct my webinar.
I thought about cancelling my webinar, but I didn’t want to do that. If this was going to work for me, I needed to be able to have it all!
At that moment, I chose to do what wasn’t comfortable.
I hurried up and finished my work; got ready, dressed and out the door, and let the ladies who’d be attending the webinar know that we might start a few minutes late.
After the webinar, I rushed upstairs, sat in an office that wasn’t my comfy home office, battled with technology to get connected to the Internet, and started the webinar 20 minutes late. Not what I like or what I’m used to.
The webinar, however, went great. The ladies waited patiently for me to get set up and were so understanding about all of the glitches that took place. Everyone participated actively, and the insights they shared at the end of the night reminded me that everything I’d done that day was worth it!
When I got up to put my things away, I looked up and saw the frame that you see as the image on this page. It read:
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
~ Neal Diamond Walsh
So, what about you? Have you been willing to step out of your comfort zone?
Have you set up that online dating profile you’ve been putting off because you feel that online dating is “unnatural” or not your cup of tea, even though it might actually be fun and you might end up meeting the man of your dreams?
Have you started smiling and flirting whenever you’re out, even though it feels “weird” or you’re afraid of being rejected?
Have you chosen to forgive your husband or boyfriend? To let go of any resentments or judgments regarding what he “should” do to make things right between you?
Have you been willing to be open, vulnerable, and allow love to flow in, to, and through you?
If you have, great! I’m excited for you and would love to hear about how you’ve been able to break out of your comfort zone and create some amazing results!
If you haven’t, would you consider stepping out in faith?
Life happens right outside of our comfort zone, and there are miracles just waiting to be manifested and experienced by you!
So, go ahead! I dareyou to be happy!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
This weekend, I had the privilege of being invited to speak on a panel at the 2013 Niche Parent Conference. While I was very honored by the invitation, I was also terrified! See, the topic on which I was asked to speak was not dating or relationships – well, at least not the romantic relationships I’m used to speaking about. I was invited to talk about how we’ve used Heart’s Desire International’s Facebook page to connect with our community, establish relationships with our readers and clients, and build our business and our brand.
To say that I felt like I was stepping outside of my comfort zone is a huge understatement! First of all, I’m not a Facebook expert, we don’t have thousands of followers on our page, and I was speaking to an audience of experienced bloggers who may have already known some of the things I was going to share. I was so terrified that two days before the conference I was ready to let the person who invited me know that I just couldn’t do it.
Thankfully, a good friend of mine got me to see (ironically, via a Facebook chat) that I wasn’t invited to speak as a Facebook expert or because of the number of “Likes” on my page. She helped me realize that, while we may not have a ton of “Likes” on our page, we use our page to touch Lives, and that lives are heck of a lot more important than “Likes”!
It was at that moment that I saw clearly how I’d been letting my fear keep me from stepping out and doing something that felt uncomfortable for me. So, what did I do? I thought of YOU! I thought of my readers and my clients and how I’m constantly inviting you to step outside of your comfort zone and not allow your fears to stop you from having the loving, intimate relationship your heart desires. I thought about how I invite and challenge you to take steps that are aligned with your goals and dreams, because it’s what you deserve! And I thought about the types of results you have when you choose to trust me and yourselves and take those risks! So… I chose to follow my own advice!
Here’s a quick video message I shot for you on the terrace of the hotel, sharing what I did to move past my fears, step outside of my own comfort zone, and take a risk that was aligned with my goals!
Thanks again for the inspiration and for being a part of my journey!
P.S. If you haven’t done so yet, please stop by and “Like” our Facebook page! We share inspirational quotes and messages daily, as well as articles, resources, and advice about love, hope and relationships!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
A very special thanks to Nadia Jones (TheNicheMommy.com) and Parker Lake (Certatim) for the invitation to speak on the panel, Caroline Murphy (SmartyPantsMama.com) for her session on v-logging, which inspired me to get out of another comfort zone and make this on-the-spot video, and all of the mommy bloggers and speakers who inspired me during this amazing conference!
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