Few things can be more detrimental to relationships than dysfunctional patterns. Repeating the same painful experiences over and over again can be exhausting and can make you believe that perhaps there’s nothing you can do to change the results you keep producing!
Learning how to end dysfunctional patterns is one of the first things Michelle and I teach women because, until you address the underlying issues, thoughts, actions, and behaviors that have harmed your relationships in the past, you will continue to repeat them, no matter who your partner is!
So, ask yourself these questions:
Do you keep attracting the same type of man?
Do you keep having the same argument with your partner?
Do you keep having the same outcome, no matter who you are dating?
Do you keep experiencing heartache after heartache and wondering why the same thing keeps happening to you
In today’s video, I teach you the first step in “short-circuiting” a dysfunctional relationship pattern so that you can begin to experience fun, peace and LOVE in your relationships!
Click the image below to watch now!
This is just the first step in learning how break a dysfunctional behavior pattern once and for all. If you want to discuss your next steps, click below to schedule time to talk with me!
I’m keeping this post short and sweet because we are on vacation and my kids are waiting for me to go do something fun!
However, I just had to take a few minutes to write because I wanted to tell you about two things!
First, we just heard that we have another new bride! That’s right, another one of our clients just got married this past weekend! (It’s getting so that it’s hard to keep count!)
It’s so amazing to see her dreams coming true after all the years she questioned and wondered whether that day would ever come for her!
THIS is why Michelle and I do what we do. THIS is why we are so incredibly committed to you moving beyond all of your fears and excuses and just breaking through the BS that has you feeling like you are stuck where you are. Because THIS is what’s possible for YOU when you do!
I want you to get really honest with yourself as you ask yourself these questions:
Is itreallypossible that there are “no good men” out there?
Or is it more likely that you haven’t attracted the good man who is right for youyet?
Is itreally truethat you can’t get over your ex?
Or is it that you are so afraid of having your heart broken again that you’ll just stay stuck on him to avoid having to get out there, meet people, and open your heart to loving someone again?
Is itreallythat you are just so busy with your career or business, your travel schedule, going out with your friends, etc.?
Or is it that you are so terrified of failing at love that you’d rather tell yourself that you’re “okay,” your life is already great, and there’s no need or desire for you to share it with someone else?
Look, my job is not to make you feel badly about where you are in your life, because I do believe that you need to be happy on your own before you can attract someone who will add to that happiness.
But here’s the deal. It’s NOT that there aren’t any good guys, it’s NOT that you can’t get over your ex, and it’s NOT that your life is already so busy and fulfilled that you feel you don’t need a man with whom to share it.
All that stuff is NOT what is keeping you stuck!
What’s keeping you stuck where you are is all the stuff you keep telling yourself so that you don’t have to take the steps you need to take to have the love you really want.
I get it. I’m a successful woman, too, and I don’t like failing any more than you do.
However, I’d much rather take a risk than be a victim of my circumstances and cheat myself out of the possibility of having everything my heart desires.
Because failing sucks, but it doesn’t suck nearlyas much as regret, which is what you feel when you look back and see that the only thing that really stood in the way of having the love and life you wanted was YOU!
So, just in case one of your “reasons” for not having the love you want is that you can’t seem to move on from your past breakup, I wanted to share with you the recording of a radio show we did a few weeks ago with our very good friend, Simone Kelly, of Own Your Power Radio. The show was about “Starting Over When It’s Over,” and you’ll hear some great advice on the things you can do to move on after a breakup, divorce, or losing your partner.
Here’s my invitation:
Answer the questions above (be honest with yourself).
If you’re ready to start over, listen to our discussion and see which step you’re ready to take!
P.S. Michelle only has a few spots left on her calendar this week while I’m vacation!If you haven’t had the chance to be coached by Michelle, this is an opportunity you don’t want to miss!
She’s one of the most powerful coaches I’ve ever worked with and was MY coach when Ric and I were having issues in our marriage! Don’t miss out and sign up to speak with her now!
I had finally started getting to the place where I felt I could at least start going out to meet people. I didn’t feel ready to fall in love, but I did want to stop feeling the sadness and loneliness I’d felt since my husband had passed away.
There was one guy I knew who I’d been talking on the phone with. We’d gone out with a group once and then went out on a date, but he was very clear that he did not want to be in a relationship. I told him I felt the same way, but, as the weeks went on, I found myself calling him when he didn’t call me and leaving voicemail messages, texting him, and constantly trying to get on his radar (all the mistakes I now teach women to avoid making)!
We were supposed to go out one Friday night (I had asked him out!) and, when I hadn’t heard from him for several days, I decided on Friday morning that I’d been stood up.
All of my fears and insecurities around ever being able to love and be loved again came rushing to the surface. I cried until my eyes hurt and just kept repeating, “This is why it’s just better for me to be alone.”
Thankfully, my best friend was NOT going to leave me in that space, and she invited me to go out dancing that evening.
I decided that dancing with her was better than being in my small apartment alone, so we went out dancing.
Right before we walked in, I decided, “I’m just going to have FUN! I’m not going to think about him or about how hurt I feel. I really just want to have fun!”
And, my goodness, did I have fun!
I danced with everyone who asked me to. I probably danced with at least 12 different guys.
All except the one guy who kept staring at me from the DJ booth.
He was so cute and just kept bobbing his head to the music while holding his Corona.
We kept catching one another’s eyes, smile, and then I’d go back to dancing.
Long story short, right as I was getting ready to leave the bar, our eyes locked and he nodded his head for me to come over.
I was not about to walk across a dance floor to talk to some guy (!), so I mocked him and made the same gesture to him with my head. And he came over!
We talked for several hours and he asked me for my number (I was too scared to give him my cell phone number, so I gave him the number to my work pager number! Oy!)
I gave him a hug as he left and could not stop smiling.
I didn’t know that evening that he would call me the next day one minute after getting out of work.
I didn’t know that evening that we’d go out on our first date a couple of days later.
And I surely didn’t know that night that we’d be married a year later!
All I knew was that I was grateful that I hadn’t let the unhappiness of one moment stop me from allowing myself to experience a fun evening that, had I stayed home, could have resulted in me never having met him!
I don’t know what painful situation you’ve been through or are going through.
I don’t know why you’ve held on to a dead-end relationship or a broken heart for so long.
I don’t know why you won’t do what it takes to break through that pain and fear so that you can experience love again.
What I do know is that, unless something changes, nothing will change! You’ll keep feeling sad, hurt, and hopeless, and, meanwhile, be missing out on the opportunity to experience the love of a lifetime.
I also know that we can help you get to the other side of pain and suffering so that you can begin feeling the love and happiness you desire and deserve.
So, what can you do about it?
Be real with yourself about the fact that, right now, you are the one standing in your own way. Whatever happened in the past has already happened. It is not happening right now. The only thing happening right now is whatever choices you are making that are stopping you from releasing yourself from the past so that you can experience love NOW!
Write down a description of what it is you want to experience in a romantic relationship. And as you write it, believe it! For example: “I want a, fun, loving, passionate relationship where I feel completely loved and accepted for who I am!” Include the words that matter most to you in your description (love, trust, acceptance, honesty, etc.) and be really detailed in describing how you want to feel!
Write down three steps you can take to begin moving in the direction of creating this type of relationship.
Do you need to create and post an online profile?
Do you need to get out of your house and actually start meeting people?
Do you need to apologize to your boyfriend or husband for something you’ve been doing that has been negatively impacting your relationship so that you can begin experiencing love and intimacy again?
Be clear in the action steps you are going to take and then give yourself a deadline on your calendar by when you will take each step.
Now, I get that it’s not always easy to do this kind of work yourself. You may feel like you’re not sure what to write or what’s standing in your way. You also may need someone to help hold you accountable so that you will actually do what you say you’re going to do.
That’s where we come in!
Now, this is my anniversary weekend, so I’m taking the weekend off, but I do have some spots open on my calendar for Monday and Tuesday of next week.
If you’d like to schedule time to talk on either of those days, go ahead and click the link below and schedule a time to talk. (Act fast, my calendar fills up quickly!)
And, since you have to wait a few of days before you can speak to me, I’ll send you a little something you can use between now and our call!
I had no way of knowing 16 years ago that my life was going to change forever! There was no way I could have known that I was about to enter into my own love story of a lifetime!
I want the same for you! If you’re ready to take the first step toward your love story of a lifetime, click below, and let’s talk!
This past week has been one of those lesson-learning not-so-comfortable weeks
You know… the kind of week that pretty much changes
Not only was my oldest son was a way at summer camp, several states away from me, for a whole week, but I also could not communicate with him to make sure that he was
As I’ve mentioned before, my son has Autism, so I really had to surrender and have faith that he would be able to deal all of the things that were so far outside of his comfort zone (and mine!), like not knowing what was going to be served for meals, sleeping in a tent during the thunderstorms that came through at night, and facing his fear of spiders and
When I saw my son step out of the bus on Saturday night, it took everything in the world for me not to lose it! I felt so much joy and relief! He was in one piece, smiling, looked like he’d matured 5 years, and all he wanted to do was hug
Yes, there were “horror stories” of spiders and bugs and rain and mud, but, overall, he had a good time, he asked for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when he didn’t like the food being served, tried to keep the bugs away from him with repellent, and he said he was so tired he slept through the
As uncomfortable and unfamiliar as it all felt for him, he got through it (and so did
What this week taught me is that, even though things may be scary and uncomfortable – and way out of your comfort zone – it’s only when you step outside of our comfort zone that you can
Think about it.
The results that you have today are the results you’ve been able to produce from inside of your comfort zone.
The relationships you’ve had (or not had) the experiences you’ve created, and the current state of your love life were all produced inside of your comfort zone.
The comfort zone keeps you feeling “safe.” It has you make predictable choices. It doesn’t ask you to risk too much, because that would feel uncomfortable.
The truth is, however that the results you really want can’t be produced inside of your comfort zone.
If you want to change your current situation, you’re going to have to be willing to step beyond what feels safe and comfortable and take a risk.
You’re going to have to be willing to let go of the familiar patterns and behaviors that have been keeping you stuck and feeling hopeless and alone.
You’re going to need to make a change.
And, yes, it’s going to feel scary.
And, no, there are no guarantees.
On the other hand, the only guarantee inside of your comfort zone is that you’ll continue making the same choices, getting the same results, and having the same painful experiences you’ve been having.
Imagine for a second what you’d be able to do if you stepped outside of your comfort?
What would be possible for you?
If you’re really readyto step outside of your comfort zone, but you’re not sure how, go ahead and click on the link below to set up a time to talk. I’ve got just a few spots available for next week, so make sure you click below and schedule time now!
On this call I promise to help you create a plan for stepping outside of this comfort zone so that you can begin to move past whatever has been stopping you in having the kind of loving relationship you want!
No more “being comfortable,” but not getting what you want.
No more pretending you’re okay with the status quo when you know you want more!
It’s time to step outside your comfort zone and get the love you want!
No matter where you are right now, if it’s not where you want to be in terms of being in the loving relationship your heart desires, then I’m going to encourage you to take a step outside of your comfort zone, and click on the link below!
When Jeanie first came to work with us, she was an incredibly successful woman in a high-powered, high-paying job that allowed her to live a life of luxury – traveling and vacationing wherever she wanted, dining in fine restaurants, living in her dream apartment.
She was “living the dream.”
Except for one thing. She didn’t have someone to share this wonderful amazing life with, and she wanted that, too!
Jeanie took the steps to figure out what was standing in the way of her attracting and experiencing the love her heart desired! She worked with us in our programs, received and applied the coaching, and believed that it could and would happen for her!
Fast forward to last month…
We received the great news that she was getting married to an amazing, wonderful man who, in her own words, makes her feel loved and adored in ways she’s never known before!
Then, a few weeks ago, we received a beautiful invitation to their engagement party, and just yesterday we learned that she and her fiancé are having a baby boy!
Talk about a year of dreams coming true!
When she spoke on our Success Panel last month, at The Irresistible Woman Seminar, Jeanie shared how it was the coaching that she received through working with us that had her attract such an amazing man into her life. She learned the keys to loving and honoring herself so that she could attract a man who lives for doing the same for her!
We know that this love and happiness is possible for you, too! That’s why we are excited to be able to connect with and answer your questions tomorrow night on our “Love Breakthrough” Live Q&A Call! On this call we’ll be sharing with you the same coaching we’ve given to women like Jeanie and the hundreds of other women around the world who are making their relationship dreams come true!
Last night was rough. We dropped my older son off at Church and I watched him leave on a big white bus without me – for a week!
Now, I know that there are millions of parents out there doing the same thing this summer. And I know he’ll have fun. And I know that it’s normal to miss him.
Knowing all of that simply didn’t lessen the pain and sadness of missing him last night. It also didn’t lessen the fear I felt.
See, the truth is that, aside from missing him, I’m afraid.
My son has Asperger’s Syndrome – a mild form of autism that affects his social skills – so it takes a lot of courage and faith for me to be able to let go and trust that he will be okay when I’m not there at his side.I’m afraid of not being there with him while he’s thousands of miles away. I don’t like knowing that I won’t be there to protect and reassure him if something goes wrong or he makes a mistake. I won’t be there to buy him something I may have forgotten to pack. I won’t be there if he needs or misses me.So, I cried myself to sleep last night, and I prayed a lot.
As I prayed, I reminded myself that I trust myself enough to know that I made a good choice in letting him go on the trip.
I reminded myself to trust the leaders who reassured me time and again that they would be looking out for him, would make sure he’s okay, and would keep me posted as to how he’s doing.
I reminded myself that this kid is extraordinary and never ceases to amaze me in how he does not let autism stop him – ever!
His courage and willingness to try and move beyond his fears inspire me every day to trust myself and break through my own fears!
I reminded myself that I want my son to have these experiences because I want him to learn to trust himself, too. I want him to see that he is able to get through difficult times, that he’s capable of solving problems and making good choices, and that he can have fun, even if everything does not go exactly according to plan.
So, in the end, I chose to trust!
So, what about you?
Where are you not trusting yourself or others?
Where are you allowing your fears to stop you and get in the way of experiencing the love and happiness you want and deserve?
Where are you not letting go and allowing yourself to take a risk when it comes to love?
I want to invite you to trust yourself. You may have made mistakes before, and maybe you made some choices that didn’t turn out exactly the way you thought they would, but you can learn to trust yourself again.
If you want to learn to trust yourself again but have questions about how to do that, I want to invite you to join us for a very special “Love Breakthrough” Live Q&A Call Michelle and I are hosting on Tuesday night at 9:00pm Eastern!
On this call we will be answering your questions about love, dating, and relationships.
No questions are off the table and we have a special gift for those who attend the call, so make sure you are there!
Listen, I know you’re scared. I know that it can be scary to trust yourself enough to open your heart to someone enough to let them in.
I also know you deserve to love and be loved, and Michelle and I want to be there for you and help you break through your fears so that can begin to experience life and love on a whole new level!
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yesterday we learned that she and her fiancé are having a baby boy!
