by Gladys Diaz

During the next few weeks, many of us will be celebrating a variety of different holidays. This time of the year can be very stressful if we are not intentional about handling all of the events, tasks, and celebrations with love. grace, and ease!

Since I don’t want to add too much more to your “Holiday To-Do List,” I came up with a short-but-sweet list of things you can do to get through the holidays feeling love, peace, and joy! Whether you are single or in a relationship, you’ll want to have this list handy during the next few weeks!

If You’re Single During the Holidays…

The holidays can feel especially lonely, if you don’t have someone special to share them with. It can seem like everyone else has someone to cuddle and laugh with. You may be attending parties and events where there are couples and not too many (if any) singles present, and you may hear that ever-dreaded question about when you plan to settle down, get married, and start a family!

If you’re single during the holidays, here are some things that can help you get through them with hope and a smile!

• Accept as many invitations as possible for dates, holiday parties and social events. While what you really want is to share these days with that someone special, it’s helpful to surround yourself with family and friends who make you smile and bring out the best in you. Plus, you never know who you are going to meet at your cousin’s tacky sweater party or the last-minute holiday work party you were invited to. Resist the urge to want to be alone (unless you need to take a break), and accept as many invitations as possible. This goes for dates, too! Some people are “selective” about who they will see and spend time with during the holidays. While you may not want to bring someone you don’t know very well to your family gathering, going to a party or put to dinner is a great way to have fun and get to know someone new! (Plus, as I said before… you never know!)

• Plan some girls’ nights out with your friends. Aside from attending events solo or with a date, be intentional about spending time with your girlfriends. Whether they are single or in relationships, I promise you that everyone wants to disconnect and just have fun for the sake of having fun! Don’t wait until the last minute, since it may take some creative thinking to have everyone arrange their schedules. Also, let your friends know that this is your way of creating a new holiday tradition that is stress-free, feminine, and fun!

If You’re in a Relationship During the Holidays…

Sharing the holidays with someone is nice, but it can also bring about feelings of stress, especially if you’re trying to create time to spend with two families! It can be even more stressful if you are not close to or don’t have a great relationship with your partner’s family.

If you are married or in a relationship during the holidays, here are some things that can help you get through them feeling closer to your partner!

• Remember that your partner may want to be with his family just as much as you’d like to be with yours. It can be tricky to fit in time to be with both families over a short amount of time, especially if one or both families don’t live in your city or the same city. Create a plan together, but, rather than telling him what you “should do,” let him know what you would like to do and then ask him what he’d like to do. See if there is a way to create a win-win situation. If in-person visiting isn’t possible, then plan a video chat family reunion, where you can all share some treats as you speak over Skype or Facetime. Block out enough time so that no one feels rushed and you can really connect with one another. If you’ve sent and received gifts from distant family members, plan to open them when you’re on camera so that you can enjoy the moment together!

• Remember to share some “couple time.” Let’s be honest. Being with family and in-laws can be really stressful. Make some time to disconnect from the crowd and just share some alone time with your partner. If you’re visiting with or having family visit you, consider that you may have some readily available babysitters to watch the kids or pets so that the two of you can sneak away for a romantic walk or dinner! Plan your time for when the kids will be sleeping so that you don’t have rush back and you can stay out as long as you like with your honey!

Whether You Are Single or In a Relationship.

• Remember to put yourself at the top of your holiday list. Take time to practice self-care by scheduling time to relax and replenish your mind, body, and soul. Yes, it’s the season for giving, but you need to give to yourself, too. If you are going to be traveling to visit family members, bring some of your favorite books and music with you, and see if there is a gym nearby where you can exercise to get some of those endorphins moving! This also gives you a reason to spend some time alone, especially if being with family is becoming a bit too much to handle (Don’t feel guilty… We all have that one – or two, or three – family member we need a time out from!)  Also remember to ask for help if you need it. This will help you feel more grateful and less exhausted (and resentful), and gives others a chance to do something for you, too!
  

• Be Present. Getting caught up in all of the activities, visits, and shopping can actually rob you of actually BEing with your loved ones. If you’re hosting the holiday get-together, don’t worry about planning out every single moment of the day. Allow for everyone (including yourself) to have some downtime. As you’re sitting around the table, take a moment to really look at and appreciate each person in the room. If you find yourself getting irritable or feeling exhausted, take a time out so that you can recharge (see the tip above) and so that you can really BE with the people you love!

• Begin thinking about what you’d like your love life and relationship to look like in 2015. As we begin to close out this year and move into next year, take a moment to take inventory of your love life.

If you’re single, ask yourself –

• What do I want my experience of dating to be like?
• What do I want the experience of being in a relationship to be like?
• What kind of girlfriend do I want to be?
• When I take a moment to stop and reflect on December 31^st next year, how will I describe myself and my love life/relationship?

If you’re married or in a relationship, ask yourself –

• What do I want the experience of being in a relationship to be like?
• What do I want to see more/less of in my relationship?
• When I take a moment to stop and reflect December 31^st next year, how will I describe myself and my relationship?