Have you ever really wanted to break a habit or pattern you see happening over and over again in your life, but, no matter how hard you try to stop doing it on your own, no matter how many books you read, videos you watch or teleclasses you attend, you still find yourself doing the same things you promised yourself you would not do?
The same thing was true for one of my clients when it came to dating and relationships. I’ll call her Sophia, to protect her privacy.
Sophia didn’t necessarily have trouble attracting men. She would get asked out on dates and, sometimes, on multiple dates by the same guy.
The problem was that it seemed like the men she was attracting weren’t really interested in having committed relationships. They wanted to go out, have fun, and be sexually intimate, but they were not looking to have a committed relationship with her.
While it felt good to be asked out by men, this pattern of attracting men who did not want to have a long-lasting relationship with her made Sophia feel confused, frustrated, and used – especially if the man had said up front that he was looking for someone to be in a relationship, and even more so if she had been sexually intimate with him.
What Sophia discovered while we worked together was that the reason she was continuously finding herself in the same situation was not necessarily because every single man she was dating was not interested in a having a committed relationship.
It was becauseshe had a hidden belief that, if she slept with a man who was showing interest in her, that having that physical connection would somehow ensure that he would want to have more of an emotional connection with her.
What would happen, however, is that she would feel overly attached to the man, begin acting as if they were in a relationship, and subconsciously begin demanding more time, attention, and affection from the man.
What was even more surprising to her was that she also had a hidden belief that the man would eventually disappoint and leave her.
So, subconsciously, she was attracting men who would confirm for her the hidden belief that she would not find a man who would love and accept her without her having to sleep with him, and that, even when she did, he would still leave her.
Now, it’s important to understand that Sophia did not want to continue repeating the same patterns.
In fact, if you asked her, she would tell you the exact opposite of that.
However, because these beliefs were in her subconscious, they were hidden from her – in her blind spot – and she was continuing to attract the same kind of man, take the same actions, and experience the same heartache time and time again.
As we worked together, Sophia began to uncover more of the Love Barriers that were blocking her from attracting and receiving the kind of love she really wanted. As we did the HeartWork to remove those barriers, she began experiencing more success in dating – having more fun, attracting really great men who were interested in possibly having a relationship with her, and finally meeting a wonderful man with whom she is living out the love and life of her dreams.
If you’re like Sophia, and you are tired of trying to stop repeating the same patterns, or, worse, you’ve pretty much given up on finding the kind of love you want, then I want to encourage you and let you know that you, too, can have the kind of loving relationship you want with a man who is going to truly and deeply love you for the rest of his life!
But here’s the deal: You have to be willing to take the steps to uncover the hidden barriers that are in your blind spot, blocking you from attracting and having the relationship of your dreams. Otherwise, the self-sabotage will continue.
Trust me, if you knew what they were and how to stop allowing them to keep you repeating the same painful patterns, you would have already done it.
Sometimes it takes working with someone who can lovingly guide you to see what you haven’t been able to see on your own. Then, once the barriers have been uncovered, we can get to the work of breaking and replacing them with new thought and behavior patterns that will allow you to easily and effortlessly attract the love you desire into your life!
If you’re ready to stop “trying” and you want to really get past this once and for all, I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar next week, and I’d be happy to help you have your love breakthrough!
Remember: You deserve to finally be happy and in love with a man who deserves and desires you! Isn’t that worth doing what it takes to removing whatever’s in the way?
No matter what’s happened in the past, you can break the patterns that have kept you stuck in heartache. Let’s talk and breakthrough those patterns together!
I don’t know if you’re anything like me, but, when I feel there is a problem, I like to do anything I can to resolve it as quickly as possible.
This problem-solving skill serves me well when it comes to helping my clients get through difficult situations in their love lives and relationships. It’s also served me well as a businesswoman.
It doesn’t, however, always serve me well when it comes to my relationship with my husband.
See, what many women don’t realize is that while women’s brains are wired to almost instantaneously think, feel, and say what we are thinking and feeling, men’s brains are not. In fact, the female brain has 7 areas that connect feelings, emotions and words, while the male brain has 2 areas that are wired in this manner.
Now, that doesn’t mean that woman are any better or smarter than men. Our brains are wired differently for a reason.
Think about it… Men, at their origin, were hunters. If they did not kill the prey, the entire tribe would go hungry and die. They had to have laser-like focus. Feelings and emotions could not cloud their judgment. They had to think about one thing and one thing alone: getting food for the tribe.
The reason it’s important to know and understand this is because, if you’re like many women, when there is an issue concerning your relationship, you want to “talk” about it, and you want him to want to talk about them NOW!
Your man, on the other hand, may not want or be able to talk about it right at this moment, and, again, if you’re like many women, you may find yourself making this mean something about him and how he feels about the relationship.
For example, you may think to yourself:
If he really cared about me or us, he’d want to resolve this as soon as possible.
He obviously cares more about his work (or whatever he is doing) than me.
This relationship is clearly not a priority for him. Otherwise he would drop what he was doing and deal with this NOW.
Sound familiar?
I know it does to me!
In the past, when there was a problem in our relationship, I would want to discuss it, right here, right now, and then be shocked when my husband would say, “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
Then things would go something like this:
Me: (In my head) What? Doesn’t he see how important this is? Clearly he doesn’t see how important this is!
Me: (Out of my mouth) But we need to discuss this. It’s important.
Him: I get that it’s important, but I don’t want to talk about it right now.
Me: (In my head) I can’t believe he doesn’t care about us!
Then I would proceed to keep emphasizing how important this was and how we needed to talk and how it couldn’t wait, and (you get the picture)… until, finally, he would blow up at me and storm out of the room, and then I’d really feel as if he didn’t care!
And that would lead to hours (and, sometimes, days) of stone-cold silence, anger, and unnecessary pain – for both of us.
The truth is that he did care. He does care. (And so does your guy!)
What happens, is that men need a little more time to process the information, especially when a slew of emotionally-charged information is being thrown at them.
What’s happening when your guy is not ready to talk about something is that he is processing the information he’s been given, or he is focused on something else that is important (not necessarily “more important” than you, which is what you may be making it mean), and he needs some time to process and get his thoughts together so that he can focus on the issue at hand before he can talk about it.
So, what do you do when there is something you want to discuss and your guy isn’t ready to talk right now?
1. Respect his preference.
I know it’s hard. This one can still be hard for me. Even this past weekend, my husband had to repeat to me that he didn’t want to talk about something before I could hear him. In the past, I would get upset because I felt ignored and uncared for. Now, I get that when he’s saying he doesn’t want to talk and I keep pressuring him to talk, he’s also feeling ignored and unheard, and this means that any conversation that takes place right then and there is probably not going to lead to a resolution.
2. Remind yourself that “not now” does not mean “never.”
One of the reasons I would panic and keep insisting on getting my husband to talk was because I feared that we would “never” discuss it, and that worried me. That fear and anxiety triggered my need to try to control the conversation (and him), which just led to him resisting the conversation (and me) even more. Now I remind myself that “not now” actually means “later,” not never, which helps me to calm down, step back, and allow both of us space to calm down and gather our thoughts so that, when we do talk, it leads to a win-win for us.
I will also say something like, “I understand that you don’t want to talk right now, and I respect that. Please know that I’m here when you’re ready to talk.” Sometimes we’ll even set a time to talk (after the kids go to bed, for example) so that we know that the conversation will, indeed happen.
3. Focus on something else.
I’ve found that focusing on something else – like going for a run, reading a book, playing a “mind-numbing” game on my phone, listening to something inspirational, or drawing – help me busy my mind so that I’m not hyper-focused on when the conversation will happen or what it will be like. By taking care of myself and my needs, I can control the only side of things that is ever mine to control: me. This allows me to relax, feel empowered, and not come from an emotionally-charged place when we finally do have the conversation.
4. Talk to someoneelse.
Talking to someone else – a girlfriend, sister, or your relationship coach – is also a great way to sort and work through your thoughts and feelings before speaking with your guy. Now, I will add a caveat here. It’s important that you be very selective when you choose who you are going to talk to about your relationship. Make sure that it is someone who is standing for your relationship to work, not someone who is going to bash your guy, take your side, or give you relationship or communication advice that is not for your highest good. If your friend is not in a happy, loving relationship, she may not be the best person to turn to. You want to share with someone who is going to love and support you and have you show up in your best light. This is where having a good relationship coach can make all the difference.
Otherwise, you’ll just be getting “advice,” and advice is usually shared from the other person’s own fears and doubts, as well as her patterns. Coaching, on the other hand provides you with the exact steps you can take to speak with love, be fully in your power, and seeking a win-win solution.That way, when you finally do have the conversation, you are not just talking about something that happened or needs to be resolved, but you are talking for something (resolution, peace, and the highest good for both of you in the relationship).
I know it’s not always easy to hit the “pause” button and not resolve something that is on your heart and mind.Uncertainty can trigger fear and sometimes fear gets the best of us and begin trying to push to try to get something to happen, rather than stepping back and allowing things to come together peacefully and naturally.
However, I promise you that if you follow these 4 steps, not only will that eventual conversation be a lot more peaceful, but you will also feel so much more empowered and connected to your guy when you know that you are coming together at the right time as partners seeking the best outcome, versus “enemies” seeking to prove their own point or get their own “win.” Because, by default, when only one person “wins” in a conversation or argument, the other person must “lose.” And, where there is true partnership, a win-win is always the best outcome.
So…
Take a deep breath…
Take a step back…
Follow these steps…
And reach out to me if you have any questions or want some support regarding having more loving, peaceful, and connected communication with your partner. You can eithersend me an emailorclick here to schedule time to talk.
It’s a little bit since you heard from me, and I have to say, I’ve missed you!
I love connecting with you and the other women in our community so much, and it’s been especially hard being away after meeting many of you at The Irresistible Woman LIVE (Check out the pics below!)
Some of the ladies who attended The Irresistible Woman LIVE! (Yes, there were more! These are the ladies who joined us for the pic at the end of Day 1!)
To say that The Irresistible Woman LIVE was amazing is nothing short of an understatement.
It was three full days of guiding and watching courageous, beautiful, and extraordinary women release themselves from their past fears and beliefs, create new and powerful truths for themselves and manifest real-life miracles! From restored relationships, new-found self-love, and actual physical healings, it was one miraculous moment after another, and I wanted to share just a few of them with you so that you can begin to think about what miracles you want to manifest in your own life!
Top left to bottom right – clockwise: (1) Our amazing husbands joined us to speak to the VIP Attendees and answered questions from the male perspective; (2) Michelle and I coaching a participant; (3) The extraordinary women who joined the Ready to Love Again and Keeping the Love Alive programs; (4) Getting in touch with our Irresistible Feminine Essence with Michelle Alva!
One of my favorite miracles of weekend was Phyliss’ story. She shared with us that the relationship between her and her husband was – in her own words – terrible. From constant fighting and disrespect, to feeling disconnected and as if the love and friendship between them had died, Phyliss admitted that she really didn’t have much hope that things would get better.
I could see the pain in her eyes. And, behind the pain, I could sense the hope that she was so afraid to have because she didn’t want to be disappointed… again.
Introducing Phyliss as she was ready to share the loving messages she received from her husband after saying just four simple words to him the night before!
I gave Phyliss a very easy mission to take on that evening.
All she had to do – if she chose to – was to let her husband know that she had missed him during the day.
She looked at me a little incredulously (she wasn’t the only one), as if to say “I know him. That’s not going to work.” I get it. It seemed too “easy.” However, I asked her to just say those words and let go of any expectations regarding what he might (or might not) say or do in response, and, instead, to just come from a place of love and vulnerability.
She admitted that she could hardly concentrate at work that evening and could not wait to get home to complete her mission. As soon as she got home, she walked up to her husband, looked him in the eyes and simply said, “I missed you today.”
Her husband didn’t say a word then, nor as they lay next to each other that night. Because she really took on the coaching and did not have any expectations regarding what he would say or do in response to her words, Phyliss felt nothing but peace at his lack of response, and she didn’t say or do anything to try to get a response from him, either. All she did was rub his arm as they fell asleep.
The next morning, her husband asked her if she would like him to walk her to the car and she agreed. Again, nothing was mentioned about what she had said the night before. Even still, Phyliss could not wait to get to Day 2 of the event to share that she had accomplished her mission and how peaceful she felt about it. She’d even put on her wedding ring for the first time in years to celebrate her new hope!
About an hour or so into the event, Phyliss came up to Michelle and me to show us her phone.
What was on it?
The sweetestmemes, pictures and text messages between the two of them! He had sent her a romantic meme about unconditional love. She had sent him the picture of the wedding ring on her finger. He responded “You’re melting my heart,” and sent her a picture of hiswedding ring on his finger. And so they went back and forth the rest of the day!
It honestly was the most romantic thing, and they had not experienced anything like this in years!
But what happened after the event?
Well, there hasn’t been a single fight, AND they just celebrated their 23rd Wedding Anniversary this past weekend – a HAPPY Anniversary because Phyliss has continued practicing what she learned at the event and she also chose to step intor brand-new Keeping the Love Alive Program for Girlfriends and Wives!
Phyllis, Michelle and Gladys at the Members Luncheon, where all of our new members were welcomed into the Ready to Love Again and Keeping the Love Alive Programs! (The physical transformation as well as the emotional transformation are so evident in this photo!)
And Phyliss was just one of so many women who came to the microphone and have posted in our private Facebook group to share the real-life miracles that were created that weekend.
There are women who shed the shame, regret, and sadness of the past and stepped confidently into a new future full of hope and the promise of attracting and creating extraordinary love!
There are women who have shared about the amazing and fun first dates and romantic moments they’ve had with their partners during and since the event!
We’ve had women sharing money miracles where they have manifested more income and received money gifts in a life where scarcity and fear of not having (or being) enough reigned.
And there have been physical miracles, too!
One woman shared how after the event she was finally pain-free for the first time in 2 years, after seeing numerous doctors and practitioners – none of which were able to diagnose or help her relieve the pain! She sat for 6-8 hours a day at our event and took an 18-hour plane ride right after the event and felt NO PAIN!
And the list goes on and on!
Top left to bottom right – clockwise: (1) Michelle leading the group in a clearing and releasing meditation; (2) Our amazing Success Panel shares their testimonials as a result of participating in our programs; (3) Michelle coaches a participant to move beyond her fears and step into her power; (4) Our inspirational Dream Team! We could not have done this without you!
Miracles are real, Gladys!
When you remove your Love Barriers – those fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs that block love from coming to and from you and stop you from experiencing the happiness that comes with knowing that you know that you are loved – that’s when anything and everything your heart desires becomes possible for you!
So, now I want to hear from you, Gladys.
What is a miracle that, if we could help you create it, would make all the difference for you, especially in your love life?
What is that secret wish or prayer that you long for but are afraid to believe in because you’re so scared it might not happen for you?
Comment below and share it with me.
I promise it’s safe.
All I want is to see how we can help you manifest your miracle.
I’ll listen to what it is you want and together we will figure out what’s been getting in the way of you manifesting that miracle in your life and what the next best steps would be for you to take so that you can experience the happiness and love your heart truly desires!
We’re more than twin sisters, business partners, best friends or”The Love Twins.” We are YOUR Love Twins!
We are here to serve, support, and champion YOU in making your dream of attracting, creating, and living the life and love your heart truly desires a reality!
Remember, all it took for Phyliss was saying 4 simple words and her entire world changed!
This doesn’t have to be hard. It can be easy once you know exactly what it is you need to do.
We’re here to serve and support you. We promise to listen and guide you with love and understanding every step of the way.
I don’t know if you’re aware of it, because these things are usually going on in the subconscious, as blind spots, but there are things that you are telling yourself that are actually stopping you from having the love you want.
The frustrating part about it is that, because you’re not aware that they are lies, you actually believe them. To you, they are the truth! And, unfortunately, these are the very thoughts and words that are keeping you stuck in your love life!
I shot a really quick raw-and-real, tough love video, and I hope you’ll give yourself a few minutes to watch it because this could actually transform your life as you know it!
Most people in your life won’t tell you what I’m telling you in this video. In fact, many of them are agreeing with you and helping you to continue believing the lies. So, it’s with an incredible amount of love that I want to share this with you, because I see you bigger than any thought or fear or excuse you may have! To me you are amazing and you deserve everything your heart desires!
Watch the video and tell me what you think!
P.S. You really can get unstuck and it doesn’t have to be hard. Simply stop believing the lies I talk about in this video and trust me! We can get to the other side of this together!
If you are a smart, successful woman who is READY to have success in your love life, then this is the one article you want to read all the way through today, because it is your LUCKY day!
While having a successful relationship has nothing to do with luck, we do believe in Divine Timing and in the power you have to manifest your dreams, and in rewarding bold and courageous actions, so we are about to help you make your dreams come true!
If you are a woman who feels like you have “The Midas Touch” in every area of your life exceptyour love life and you are ready to prove just how committed you are to creating and living in the relationship of your dreams, give us three days and we will show you exactlyhow to have success in BOTH life and love!
Does any of this sound familiar?
You’ve read books, attended workshops and webinars, bought infoproducts, listened to teleclasses, and even spoken to a few coaches, but you’restillnot in the loving, intimate relationship your heart desires, which leaves you feeling frustrated, lonely, and wondering whether or not you’ll ever have the relationship of your dreams.
You know there are thought and behavior patterns that keep getting in the way of either attracting the right man or having a relationship work, but you can’t figure out how to stop repeating the same self-sabotaging behaviors, no matter who it is you’re dating or in a relationship with. And this has you wondering if there’s something wrong with you, men, or relationships in general.
You know that dating and relationships shouldn’t feel “hard,” but you dread going on yet another unsuccessful date or having another relationship end, and the thought of having your heart broken again has you either holding onto a relationship that isn’t working or avoiding opening your heart to new love.
You’re at the point where you are ready and willing to make the changes that will finally give you the successful results you want in your love life and you just want to know howto do it.
If you resonated with any or all of the points above, don’t worry. You’re not alone.
Most smart successful women are in a similar place.
Why?
Because what most people don’t know is that there is a very unique set of challenges that successful women face when it comes to relationships.
The main reason is because many of the skills that propel us in our careers and businesses actually repellove and intimacy in romantic relationships! But, because they work at work, we mistakenly believe that those same skills and behaviors will work when it comes to love.
Unfortunately, they don’t work, and we are unconsciously self-sabotaging ourselves out of the very happiness we want more than anything else in the world!
Now, I know that you don’tneeda man to make you happy. Your happiness is 100% your responsibility.
However, if what your heart truly desires is to be in a loving, intimate, passionate relationship with a man who is absolutely right for you; who’s not threatened, but is inspired, by your success; and who is ready to spend the rest of his life letting you know just how much he loves you, then doesn’t it make sense for you to work toward that goal as diligently – if not even more passionately – as you would any one of your professional or career goals?
As a successful, powerful woman myself, I know what it almost cost me to not know the skills that led to creating a loving, peaceful, passionate relationship. In fact, it almost cost me my marriage!
It wasn’t until I learned what barriers were in the way of me having love and intimacy flow easily and abundantly; how to tap into my Irresistible, Feminine Essence; and how to use effective communication and relationship skills to connect deeply with my man that I was able to turn my relationship around.
Now, after 18 years together, I can tell you that there is nothingI have accomplished in my career – not any award, achievement, or recognition – that holds a candle to what it feels like when my husband says that the woman I am inspires him to be the best man he can be!
If you want to learn the secrets to creating a successful, happy, loving relationship that stands the test of time with the right man for you, then join us for three days transformational heart-and-life-changing days atThe Irresistible Woman LIVE!
The Irresistible Woman LIVEwas specifically designed for the successful woman who wants to have success in her love life, too!
The Irresistible Woman LIVEis especially designedfor the successful, powerful professional woman like you who wants to experience as much – if not even more– success in her love life and relationships as she does in her career!
If you are tired, frustrated, and feeling hopeless about your ability to havebotha successful and fulfilling careerandan extraordinary romantic relationship, then you need to be at this event!
As we said , this event is specifically for successful women – women who are used to going above and beyond to get what they want – so it’s going to be a no-holds-barred-tough-love seminar!
In this 3-day event, you will:
Take a deep dive into whyyou are not attracting or experiencing the kind of love that you wantin your relationships (and learn how to stop the self-sabotage)
Uncover the specific thoughts, actions, and behaviors you are using toblocklovefrom coming into your life so that you can begin to experience love, happiness, and abundance in your romantic relationships
Identify the skills that propel you in the workplace but completelykilllove and intimacy in romantic relationships(and learn the skills that magnify love and romance)
Create new thought patterns and behaviors that will allow you to shed the masculine energyyou carry around at work so that you can embrace the feminine energy that will make you Simply Irresistible to the right man
Design a plan for implementing what you have learned into your life on adaily basisso that you are continuously experiencing more success in your love life!
And soooo much more!
If you are seriously committed to having the lifeandlove your heart desires, there is absolutely NO reason for you not to be there!
To make sure you know how committed WE are to helping get the loving relationship you want, we’re making this an irresistible, no-brainer decision for you!
As a successful woman, you know that a huge part of your success is takingdecisive actionsthat arealignedwith the goals you want to accomplish.
That’s why we are only making this special offer for the next seven days. And, once it goes away, we will NOT be making it again.
And, for the first 10 women who register today, we willautomaticallyupgrade you to VIP status!
That’s right, as a VIP you will receive:
Preferred seating all 3 days so that you are up front, don’t have to worry about finding a seat, and can get up close and personal with us!
A special VIP-only luncheon on Day 2where you will be able to mix and mingle with The Love Twins and the other VIPs
An intimate VIP-only evening reception with Michelle, Gladys, and their husbands where you will be able to get ALL of your questions about
And many moreVIP-only perksand surprises!
The VIP ticket is normally $600, and you get it for the Super Early Bird Price of a General Admission ticket simply for being one of the first 10 to grab your spot!
So, don’t make up excuses, don’t put this off, and don’t suffer from FOMO!
Our events sell out quickly and you WILL miss your opportunity to learn the exact stepsyou can take to effortlessly begin attracting the loving relationship your desire and deserve at a simply irresistible price!
Seneca said, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
We’re giving you the opportunity to create your own luck and learn the skills you need to have the success that you want and deserve in the lasting, loving, and fulfilling relationship your heart truly desires!
This event only happens once a year, this is a one-time offer, and you simply don’t want to miss this amazing, transformational event!
If you’ve been feeling like it’s harder for you to have love than other women, you may actually be RIGHT!
See, if you’re a powerful, successful woman who wants to have success in love, but you’ve found that it’s difficult for you to attract the right kind of man or to have the loving connection with the man you’re currently with, it’s probably because there are some things you’re unconsciously doing that are sabotaging your chances of having the kind of relationship you truly want.
This is because, as a successful woman, you’ve discovered the kinds of skills and strategies that have propelled you in your career. You are strong, powerful, and a go-getter. You know how to manage and direct others, and you’re probably often selected to be the leader in almost every job or project. These are great characteristics to have in you professional life because they are the kinds of behaviors that can propel your rise to success.
The problem is that these same characteristics (and others) actually repel love, intimacy and success in romantic relationships. Your man wants to love you, not be managed by you. He wants to provide for and please you, not be directed, corrected, or led by you.
So, what are the skills and ways of being that inspire a man to be with you, rather than push him away?
This is exactly what my friend and mentor, Nancy Matthews, co-founder of Women’s Prosperity Network, and I spoke about this week on a truly powerful and information-packed interview. During our conversation, I revealed some of the secrets to BEing the Unstoppable Woman at work and the Irresistible Woman in your love life!
Check out the interview below and let me know what your biggest takeaway or question is by replying to this email.
[Note: You will hear an announcement I made during this interview that was specifically for members of WPN and the special coupon I offered has already expired and you will not be able to access it. If you’d like to access the special, reply to this email and I’ll send you a different coupon code! Why? Because I love you!]
While you may have been unintentionally doing things to self-sabotage your success in love and relationships, the great news is that you can learn the skills and ways of being that DO work to create love and intimacy in relationships! Listen to this interview (take good notes) and let me know what your biggest takeaway from the interview is!
P.S. If you want access to the same special offer I announced on the interview, all you have to do is send an email to gladys@heartsdesireintl.com, and i will send you a special coupon code!
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