Today marks the end of the 21-day Self-Love Secret Challenge we’ve been sharing with some of the women in our community. I’m a mushball, so, any time a course comes to an end, I tend to get a little weepy. I used to hide that side of me – pretending I was tough. Now, what you see is what you get! I’m sentimental, I tear up at the slightest hint of happiness or love. And I love that about me!
It’s been an amazing 21 days shared with equally extraordinary women, and I have to admit that, while Michelle and I were leading the daily challenges, I learned several of my own lessons in self-love over the past few weeks!
For example, I noticed how…
…I sometimes speak negatively to myself when I make a mistake…
…when I’m really busy, there are times when I will sacrifice my self-care…
…when I’m not hitting all of my goals, I tend to compare myself to others…
…when I’m feeling down, I’ll want to hide away from others… especially those who love and want to help me me most…
Thankfully, over the 21 days, there was a Self-Love Challenge that dealt with each of these situations.
One day, we wrote love letters to ourselves…
We spoke words of love and affirmation when we caught ourselves thinking or speaking negatively of ourselves to ourselves or others.
We allowed ourselves to receive love, kindness, gifts, and compliments from those around us…
And each day, for 21 days, we focused on the qualities that make each of us unique, those qualities that bring love and beauty, and life to the world simply because we exist!
(By the way, when was the last time you gave yourself 21 days of pure love?)
Taking this journey along with the women who joined the Self-Love Secret Challenge affirmed for me even further that the self-love IS the secret to attracting and experiencing more love in your life!
When you love yourself fiercely and you acknowledge that who you are is already lovable and already worthy of all the happiness your heart desires, you radiate love and you teach others how to treat and love you!
It’s amazing and miraculous, and you deserve nothing less!
No matter how successful and confident you are, there may be times when you slip into negative self-talk, when a fear is triggered, or self-doubt is sparked. That doesn’t make you weak. It just makes you human. It’s in those moments when you want to give yourself and extra dose of self-love.
Do something special for yourself.
Think of a time when you felt a surge of confidence and pride in yourself.
Remind yourself that you are LOVE-ABLE: Able to love and be loved!
So, if today is one of those days when you’re feeling down, like you’re not at your best, or maybe you’re feeling downright unlovable, I invite you to do one of our Self-Love Secret Missions:
Set your timer for 1 minute.
Take a look in the mirror and look deeply into your own eyes.
As you look at yourself, simply say the words, “I love you” aloud, over and over again, until the minute is up.
Allow whatever feelings that begin to bubble up to come up.
Allow yourself to feel love from the person with whom you will have the longest love affair of your life: YOU!
Then let me know what the experience was like for you! How did you feel during the exercise. Did those feelings change as the time went by? Were any emotions triggered for you?
And, if you find that your heart is feeling so heavy that you can’t even bring yourself to do the exercise, hit “reply” anyway, and tell me what’s going on. Let me be there for you!
Allowing others to love you and allowing yourself to receive love is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself!!
Either way, I want to hear from you! I love seeing your name in my Inbox! 🙂
Comment below or send me an email: gladys@heartsdesireintl.com Oh! And, no matter what, always remember that YOU ARE LOVED!
This week, as I’ve been speaking to some of my clients, it’s been wonderful to hear how happy they are in their new relationships and how they’ve transformed their existing relationships.
Aside from feeling happy for them, the reason this fills my heart is because I remember where they were when we first started working together!
Some of them were so afraid they would never stop being single, others were in toxic relationships that were robbing them of their happiness, and others were in relationships that seemed to be slowly (or quickly) falling apart.
Their fear showed up as hopelessness. They were afraid to hope that things could get better, because… what if they didn’t?
Despite the fear they had that things might not change for them, these women did something that I have seen make one of the biggest differences in the love lives of women around the world!
In today’s video I share with you the simple steps to shifting from resignation to acceptance and how that one shift can be the first step to transforming the current – and, by the way, temporary– state of your love life!
See, creating a shift in your life does take work, but it doesn’t have to be complicated!
Do this quick exercise in the video, then let’s talk about how to create a REAL shift in your love life!
Don’t allow resignation and hopelessness to rob you of your heart’s desires! You CAN create a shift in your love life and begin experiencing the love you want! We’re here to guide you through it!
P.S. Our theme for February is :Falling In Love With YOU!
Another way to create a shift in your love life is to begin falling in love with YOU! There is still time to join The Self-Love Secret Challenge and start the best love affair of your life – The one you have with YOUrself!
It’s hard to believe that we’re already in February. If you’re like me, January went by in a blur. As I was meditating yesterday, I took a look at the goals and intentions I set for this year to hold myself accountable.
There are some goals I am right on-point with. I’ve stuck to my action plan and I feel very proud of myself for moving beyond my comfort zone and sticking to the promises I’ve made to myself.
There are a few, however, where I had to be real with myself.
How intentional have I been about taking an action step every day in the direction of meeting this goal?
Where did I allow my fears and doubts to get in the way?
Am I going to quit or recommit?
That last question is the most powerful one.
Why?
Because too often, the reason people do not hit their goals is because they quit – sometimes just centimeters from the finish line they can’t see because their fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs are so much bigger than the faith they have in themselves to actually have what they say they want.
Chances are that if you didn’t bother to set any goals or intentions for 2016, it’s because you have doubt.
You either doubt that you can have what you want, or you doubt that you can do what it takes to achieve it. More than likely, it’s a combination of both.
Self-doubt is what has you not put your heart out there.
You doubt your ability to be able to attract the kind of man you want.
You doubt that you can actually have the kind of relationship you want.
And, if you’re 100% honest with yourself, you doubt this because you either think that what you want is “unrealistic” or “too good to be true.”
That’s just another way of hiding the fact that you doubt that you’re worth having that kind of love.
If you’re in a relationship, you pretend that everything is okay, even though your heart is breaking and things haven’t been remotely close to okay in a long time.
You keep holding onto a broken relationship, not doing anything to change it or yourself for fear that any changes you try to make won’t work.
It’s easier to ignore what’s not working, to keep wishing things (especially him) will change on their own.
Again, this goes back to doubting your ability to have the kind of relationship your heart truly desires.
Staying stuck in the same rut is only going to give you the same results.
Things only change when you make a change.
That’s it. There’s no magic bullet, no secret formula.
If you want to have a different experience and different results in your love life, you need to trust that there IS a way for you to have the love and happiness you want.
Now, I get that you may not know how to do that.
If you did, chances are you probably would have made the changes already, right?
Well, that’s when you need to choose: Do I quit or recommit?
If you’re ready to recommit to yourself and your desire to have a happy, loving, intimate relationship where you get to feel loved and cherished, accepted and adored for the amazing woman you are, then it’s time to recommit to YOU!
And if you’re unsure of how to do that, which steps to take first, and you’d like some support, click the link below to schedule time to talk.
Doing nothing is going to give you the same results you have right now.
Choosing to recommit to yourself, your relationship goals and the love your heart desires is how you can make sure that 2016 is the year of making your relationship dreams come true!
By the way… If the little voice of doubt in your head is saying things like, “Why bother?” or “What’s the point?” I want to challenge you to move beyond the safety of listening to that voice — the one that’s kept you stuck right where you are — and click the link below! This is the first step in your love breakthrough!
Everything seems to be going perfectly, and then, all of a sudden, it happens!
He says or does something that catches you completely off-guard, sends you in a tailspin, hits all of your triggers, and you have no idea how to respond!
You know you can’t say the first thing that comes to your mind, because that would be way too disrespectful and you don’t want to push him away.
You don’t want not say something because you don’t want to send the message that what he said/did is okay.
So, you sit there – staring back aimlessly – every second seeming like an hour – wondering what the heck to say or do!
What if you knew exactly how to respond to even the most uncomfortable questions, comments or situations?
What if you had all of the answers right at your fingertips?
What if you never had to deal with sticking your foot in your mouth again?
Well, we’ve got good news for you!
We are putting together an easy-to-read, easy-to-use book that is going to give you the words and actions you need to respond to practically any situation that may come up in a relationship!
Whether you are single and dating, in a committed relationship, or married, you will have real-life scripts and steps you can use to help you respond in a way that is empowering, dignified, and feminine to even the most awkward situations!
But to make sure that we are answering YOUR questions, we need your help!
I was talking to a client the other day and she was sharing with me how she has a trouble trusting men. When you hear her story, you can understand why she feels that way. A failed marriage, due to infidelity, a failed relationship due to him not fully being over his ex when they got together, and a few other unsuccessful relationships in between. All of this helped reinforce her belief that it was difficult for her to trust men.
As we began to dig deeper into what the patterns in all of these relationships were, we began to uncover the truth about why she was finding it difficult to trust and open her heart to a new man.
Yes, the men she loved gave her reason to not trust them, but the truth was deeper than that.
There was actually a reason she was attracting these men into her life in the first place.
In fact, the real reason she was attracting men who made it difficult for her to trust had very little to do with the men.
It had to do with her.
The person she is really having trouble trusting is herself.
Trusting yourself means that you listen to heart, instead of your head.
I know, I know. You feel that listening to your heart is what’s gotten you burned in the past.
I want to invite you to open your heart and mind and consider something different.
When you don’t trust yourself to make the right choices – the choices that are aligned with your values, your truth, and what you really want – then you will likely allow something else to choose for you: Your fears.
When you allow your fears to make your choices, you always end up disappointed.
Your fear of being alone will have you choose to be with someone who isn’t really right for you.
Your fear of not finding someone else who will love you will have you hold on to a relationship that is toxic and unfulfilling.
Your fear that your partner or husband won’t love you the way he used to will have you pretend that nothing is wrong, even though all of the signs are there that the relationship is slowly (or quickly) falling apart.
On the other hand, when you trust and honor yourself and your truth:
You choose from a place of power.
You make choices that honor who you are and what you value to be true.
You’re not afraid to make these choices and you don’t feel like you have to force or impose those truths on the other person. You realize that the right man will choose to honor what’s true for you because he values who you are.
Allowing your fears to run the show leads to nothing but one disappointing heartache after another.
Learning how to start choosing from a place of power leads to you experiencing the happiness, love, and intimacy your heart truly desires.
If you’re finding it difficult to trust when it comes to relationships, I want you to ask yourself the following questions:
Do I trust myself to make the choices that are best for me when it comes to relationships?
If not, what is it that has me doubt my ability to make the right choices for myself?
How is this lack of trust impacting my relationships?
How might learning to trust myself give me different results in my relationships?
Being real with yourself and looking at what is standing in your way is the only way to transform and do something about it. It’s like any roadblock: Unless you’re clear about what is standing in your way, there is no way to avoid it and you’ll just keep slamming into it… over and over again!
If you’re ready to shift this dynamic in your life, answer the questions truthfully and then let me know what begins to open up for you. I’d love to support you in creating a real breakthrough in your love life that leads to you having the love you want and deserve!
And, by the way, as you do all of this, be gentle with yourself. Blaming, faulting, and or beating yourself up about the decisions you’ve made in the past doesn’t serve you unless you are committed to making different choices! And when you’re ready for that, get ready for your life to transform!
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