Let Go of Your Checklist to Find the Love Your Heart Desires

Let Go of Your Checklist to Find the Love Your Heart Desires

by Gladys Diaz 

If you’re dating, do you have a checklist for what you’re looking for in man?

Whether it’s a physical list you’ve written down or a mental checklist you keep in your head, do you have one? 

If you do, you could absolutely miss the love that’s standing right in front of you. 

Don’t believe us? Read on. 🙂 

This week on Love Chat with the Love Twins, we had a powerful and fun conversation with one of our clients, Ellen, who’s story exemplifies this perfectly. (Did you miss it? Watch it HERE.)

Ellen is a teacher and single mom of a teenage daughter who had been divorced for 6 years. When she met us, she was dating again and had a very long, and specific, checklist of what she was looking for. 

She wanted a man who was older than her, who had grown kids, was Jewish like her, didn’t have a cat… and the list went on and on. She had all of this outlined on her dating profile and would get messages from men saying things like, “Well I made it to number 14!” 

This was not working for her!

So, she came to our event, New Love in the New Year, because she didn’t know how to attract the kind of man and relationship she was looking for. She wanted to be a good example for her daughter of how to approach dating and relationships in a healthy way and knew that she was most likely sabotaging her success altogether.

Through her experience at the event, she had some incredible breakthroughs! 

  • She gained awareness and started seeing her patterns in dating that weren’t working. 
  • She realized that her energy and negative thoughts around dating were influencing who she was attracting, and shifted from trying to “get” a man to “attracting” the man she wanted by being herself. 
  • She understood that she could be herself on dates and in budding relationships instead of always trying to fit into a mold of what the other person was looking for.

Through the coaching she did with us, she was able to let go of her checklist and realize that you have to actually fall in love with someone — the actual person, not just who they are on paper! 

She learned that her checklist was about trying to control the situation and who showed up in her life, which was all based in fear. 

As she recognized and released her fears, she was able to open up to what could be possible and started paying attention to what she wanted to experience in a relationship. 

She realized that letting go of the checklist is not about lowering your standards.

It was about breaking down the wall of fears so that she could experience what she wanted to experience in a relationship!

And that’s when Ross came into the picture. 

He sent her a thoughtful, kind message on the dating app, and it caught her attention. 

She looked at his profile and saw that he was a couple of years younger than her and he had younger kids. (Not what she was looking for!)

Normally, she would have looked the other way and not even messaged him back. 

But, because of what she’d learned in the program, she opened up and responded with love and curiosity. 

She’d shifted her perspective, and her experience was different. 

In her words, “I was no longer searching for my husband. I was just responding to someone and being kind. I wasn’t feeling so desperate to find it and that’s when it started coming to me.”

She got to know Ross, and she was attracted to his kindness, emotional intelligence and thoughtfulness.

 Their children got along beautifully, and he didn’t mind that she was still friends with her ex-husband.

 He stimulated her emotionally, mentally and physically, and now they are engaged to get married! 

When she looks back, she sees that, had she not shifted her mindset around her checklist, she would never have met him.

So many women worry that if they let go of their checklist they will have to settle for a bunch of things they don’t want. 

The truth is, if you stop focusing on what you don’t want, then you open up the space for what you do want to come in.

When you shift the focus to what you want to experience in a relationship, instead of what you want the man to be or have,  you open up the door to actually see him!

Ellen said, “A year ago, I would never have imagined that I’d be here. All of the things I didn’t know I could want again, I’m getting.”  

And you can have everything you want too.

If you already know you’re ready for and you want to hear what it’s like to be in this kind of relationship, we have an easy way for you to do this!

Join us this Sunday for a very special Fireside Chat with Us and Our Husbands! 

This is going to be a very special and intimate evening where the four of us will share with you exactly how we’ve created the love, connection, intimacy and joy we experience in our relationships, and how you can create the same. 

We’re going to be answering questions, sharing stories and opening up space in your heart for what you really desire to experience so  that you can have exactly what you desire! 

Register Here

You see, having the love you want is not just about finding a man. It’s about finding yourself, building trust, and knowing that you can create the relationship of your dreams! 

Join us and open up to what’s possible for you and your love life as you go  into the new year!

How to Create More Intimacy With Your Man

How to Create More Intimacy With Your Man

by Gladys Diaz 

Let me ask you a couple of questions:

  1. How much connection and intimacy do you feel in your relationship?
  2. How effective is your communication? 

Did you know that communication and intimacy are 100% linked in a relationship?

Communication is key! You can have all the love in the world, and if you don’t know how to communicate effectively, then the relationship simply will not work. 

98% of the coaching we do is around communication. 

Why? Because it’s one of the most important aspects of any relationship (and it begins when you’re dating!). 

99% of divorces and break-ups happen because root issues in a relationship never get resolved because the couple doesn’t know how to communicate clearly, effectively, and in a way that BOTH partners feel heard and understood. 

Let me paint the picture for you of how this happens. I’m sure you’re going to be able to relate.

Do you ever have the experience when you’re talking to your partner that you’re not even sure  whether you’re having the same conversation? 

I remember before Ric and I learned the tools we teach now — sometimes it would feel like we were so far from being on the same page that it was like we weren’t even in the same room!

We were both so committed to being right that we weren’t even listening to each other. 

We would be talking about something completely innocent, like what bread we like to buy, and then I would say something, Ric would say something different, which made me feel like he didn’t hear or understand what I said. 

So, I’d say it again, but  louder this time, and he still wouldn’t understand,  and, before we knew it, we were yelling at each other, saying things we didn’t mean, being disrespectful, and hurting each other. 

And then we wouldn’t talk for two or three days. 

Well, we would talk a little, but it would be what I like to call the “caveman’s grunt.” I would ask Ric a question and he would give me a one-syllable or one-word answer under his breath, to let me know that he didn’t want to talk to me. (Ugh!)

Sound familiar? 

That’s how break-ups and divorce happen. 

Arguments start over silly (or sometimes important) things, the communication breaks down, and soon you’re arguing about something completely unrelated. 

Then the silent treatment begins, and the real problem never gets resolved. 

So,  do you want some real communication tools?

Do you want to stop getting frustrated with your spouse, getting angry and then reacting instead of responding thoughtfully and intentionally? 

Do you want to know what to say so that when your spouse says, “What did you say?” instead of repeating the same words louder, you can respond in a way that will make you feel understood and heard (and loved)? 

Do you want to know how to utilize your intention, tone and body language in your communication to increase love and intimacy? 

These are just a few of the things you’ll learn inside our Black Friday Special, the New Year New Love Bundle! 

Grab the New Year, New Love Bundle Now!

We are passionate about supporting women to communicate effectively because we know personally the painful consequences poor communication can have on a relationship. 

We want you to have all the tools that will have you communicate in a way that has you create the love, connection and intimacy you desire with your partner! . 

Click here to amp up the intimacy in your relationship!

Tip: This offer goes away TODAY, so act now.

Let Go of the Wrong Man So You Can Attract the Right One

Let Go of the Wrong Man So You Can Attract the Right One

rby Gladys Diaz 

Are you with the wrong guy? 

Are you in a relationship that feels like settling? 

Are you still hung up on a relationship that’s long been over, but you can’t seem to move on?

Are you frustrated feeling like you’re never going to be able to find the right person to bring into your life? 

The answers to these questions  are so important, because there is no way to create the relationship of your dreams if you’re stuck in something that’s not it. It can get tricky, because sometimes you may be open to seeing the red flags, and sometimes you’re not. 

So how do you know if you’re with the wrong guy? 

If you have clarity and know what you want to be experiencing in the relationship of your dreams, then you know when you’re not in it.

You must get crystal-clear on what it is that you want to feel and experience when you’re with the right guy in order to know when you’re with the wrong one.

Now, “crystal-clarity” isn’t the laundry list of what you want your guy to look like or have. It’s about the experience you have when you’re with him.

Do you feel at peace when you’re with him?
Can you be yourself?
Is the relationship aligned with your values and what’s important to you? 

When you know what you want – it becomes crystal clear if you’re in it or not.  It becomes less about looking for “red flags” and more about looking at what you’re actually experiencing when you’re around him, and then deciding if it’s aligned with what you really want. 

Why is this important? 

It’s important because, if you’re not having the experience you want to have in the relationship of your dreams, then the truth is:  You’re settling. 

We know why you stay. 

You think maybe he’ll come around.
You think maybe he’ll change.
Maybe… if you wait a little longer… love him a little more… give more of yourself to him…

If you find yourself in this pattern, listen up. Stop falling in love with “the potential” of what you think you see in a man, and start looking at what is actually there. Not from a judgmental place, but from a place of who he really is right now

We also know that if you’re willing to settle in a relationship, then you’re struggling with your self-worth and self-esteem. You’re not getting that you really do deserve to have exactly what you want in a loving relationship. 

When I was dating, this was me.

At one point, I was dating a man who was not only married, but was seeing three other women at the same time as me!

When I look back on that experience, I am dumbfounded as to what I was thinking, because, at the time, it didn’t even occur to me that maybe this wasn’t a good situation for me to be in. 

Years later, I know what I was thinking. I was continuing in my pattern of thinking if I could just be enough or do something right, that he’d choose me. I had fun with him, but the experience of being in what I thought was a relationship with him was super stressful. I was always wondering who he was with and whether he was going to call! It was not fun at all! 

It was not what I wanted, and this was blocking me from creating what I did want. 

The even bigger risk is that staying in a wrong relationship like the one I was in can have long-term effects on your psyche and your self-esteem, and the time it can take to heal from that can be devastating. 

Another aspect of being with the wrong guy is staying energetically connected to him, even after the relationship has ended. 

 The longest I’ve heard of a woman not being able to let go of a relationship is 17 years (that’s a teenager!)! 17 years of holding on to something that no longer existed and stopping herself from moving forward and creating the relationship she desired. 

 That’s heartbreaking! 

 So, what does it look like to let go? 

 First, you must bring acceptance to what is. You must realize that this relationship is not what you’re committed to creating and having, and accept that it needs to end.  If it already ended, you need to accept that it’s over, once and for all.

 Second, bring gratitude to the experience. Recognize the good memories, the lessons learned, and the people that may have come into your life through this person that are a blessing to you. When you feel gratitude for what was, it brings an empowerment to the choice you’re making to move on. 

 Third, you’ve got to realign yourself with your values. Your values are the compass you can use to guide your life. Though your boundaries and standards may change as the circumstances of your life change, your values – the things that matter to you most – will never change. Be true to and honor them, and you will always know you’re making the best choice for you.

 Fourth, do the Heartwork to understand how you got there in the first place. What are the core issues that drive the pattern of attracting the wrong man? Behind every dysfunctional pattern there’s a need you’re filling. Get clear on what that is so that you can shift it. 

 Fifth, begin taking committed action in the direction you’re now going. If you’re having a hard time letting go, make the choice to “lock the door” and move on! Take a stand, set boundaries and choose to move forward. 

 We know that a lot of this is “easier said than done” when you don’t know exactly how to do it on your own.  Think about it… If you knew what to do and how to do it, you would have moved on from this relationship a long time ago. 

If any or all of this sounds all too familiar,  we’d love to support you in finally letting go of the past, the wrong relationships, and anything that is holding you back from having the relationship of your dreams.

One of the fastest and most life-changing ways to do this is to join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want SUCCESS in love is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

 In these three days, you are going to get connected to who you truly are, experience transformations and breakthroughs in your relationship with yourself, break free from the past, and create the access for creating the relationship of your dreams!

 Whether you’re deeply desiring to attract the man or you want to create your dream relationship with the man you’re already with – this event is for you!

 Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

You’ll even get a special “LOVE  box” filled with cool swag and materials we’ll be using during the event IF you’re one of the first 100 people to grab your ticket.  

 Once the swag boxes are gone, they’re GONE, so don’t miss out on getting yours mailed to you before the event!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Are You Ready to Call It Quits? Read This First!!

Are You Ready to Call It Quits? Read This First!!

by Gladys Diaz 

The last couple of weeks have brought to our attention something we’ve been preparing you for since March. 

Since the moment quarantine began, we’ve been anticipating a trend of more divorces to sweep the nation — and, actually, the world — in the months to follow. Unfortunately, it seems we were right. 

Just within this past week, multiple high-profile relationships have announced their plans to split up, all citing circumstances that just could no longer be ignored during quarantine. 

We’ve spoken with many women over the past several weeks who are feeling the exact same way in their relationship.

Here’s the thing).

Any issue that has come up in a relationship during this time was there before the pandemic. It’s simply been amplified because you can no longer escape it or distract yourself from facing it. 

The financial stress, fear of the unknown, health complications, overwhelm and anxiety that we’ve faced over these last several months, coupled with underlying problems in a relationship, are enough to push anyone over the edge. 

Quarantine has been the last straw in the proverbial bucket.

That being said, calling it quits is not the only option! 

It’s heartbreaking, because no one gets married expecting to get divorced, and we know that divorce comes with a lot of financial and emotional expenses, on top of everything else. 

Ending a long-term relationship is a big deal, sometimes costing upwards of $20,000-$30,000 in legal expenses, not to mention the work of splitting your assets, selling your home, and the strain it puts on the family unit and kids.

Now, we’re not saying that divorce or breaking up isn’t sometimes the best option, but it’s usually not, and it’s definitely not the only option.

On the spectrum between the most passionate, loving relationship and ending it altogether, there’s something in the middle – and that’s the opportunity to transform the relationship.  

So, if there is another option, why not try doing the Heartwork

When you do, everything transforms. 

And, when we say “everything,” we mean that the relationship transforms, as well as the family dynamics, work relationships, and  opportunities that open up.

Because you don’t just work on the relationship – you transform yourself in the process!

Last week, one of our clients said, “I’m so grateful I’m going through this program right now because I’m hearing what my friends are going through who aren’t getting support.” 

When you choose to get support, when you choose to see that it may be you that’s getting in the way of your own happiness, you allow yourself to recreate your marriage or relationship in a way that didn’t exist before. 

I remember one day, back when Ric and I were struggling in our relationship. I had lost my temper, thrown food in his car and he’d left. (Wow, we’ve come a long way from that!)

I remember thinking, “It’s got to be easier to be by myself!

I also remember knowing that if I was going to make the decision to call it quits, then I was going to need to do everything I could do to make it work. And I knew I hadn’t done that  yet.

Sixteen years later, I’m soooooo glad I chose to figure out what wasn’t working and to do what I needed to do to transform myself from the inside out, which completely transformed my relationship! 

So, what about you? 

On a scale of 1 to 10 where is your relationship?

Has the pressure of the last few months brought up those underlying issues that it’s time to address? 

Have you caught yourself wondering if it would be easier to just throw in the towel?

Do you feel like you’ve done everything you can to make it work?

If you haven’t talked to us, you haven’t done everything

If you’ve found yourself wondering, “Are they talking to me?”, yes we are, and this is for you. 

If, as you’ve been reading, you’ve been thinking, “I wonder if this would work for me?” or maybe even, “I wonder if it still wouldn’t work,” we invite you to book a call.

Let’s have a conversation about what’s going on for you and your relationship, what your options are, and how you can turn things around.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Here’s what we know: We are experts in relationships, and our mission is for every woman — including YOU — to be in the passionate, loving, relationship of her dreams. 

We also know that if you do nothing, nothing changes.

Let us be there for you. 

Book a call now. 

It could save your relationship.

If You’re Not Growing, You’re Choosing To Stay Stuck

If You’re Not Growing, You’re Choosing To Stay Stuck

by Gladys Diaz 

“I’m having a hard time sleeping at night.” 

“Focusing during the day feels nearly impossible.” 

“I feel unsettled.” 

“I feel helpless and powerless.” 

These are some of the things we’ve been hearing from women this week. 

Have you been feeling at all similar? 

With what feels like our whole world turned upside down over the last couple of weeks, we want you to know that we are right there with you. We’re living in the same world as you, experiencing the same situations and circumstances that the rest of the world and country are dealing with at this time. 

You truly are not alone.

And, although we may not have much control over our situation or circumstance right now, the thing we do have control over is how we choose to deal with it. 

There is no better time than right now to master your mindset

What does that look like? 

  1. Feel what you need to feel. Mastering your mindset doesn’t look like brushing things under the rug or pretending you don’t feel the way you feel. Acknowledge where you’re at and allow yourself to be there for a minute… Just don’t stay there.
  2. Shift. Ask yourself “What I do so that  I can deal with this in an empowered way?”

For example, maybe you’re feeling like dating is out the window right now. Maybe you’re using COVID-19 as a distraction to stop you from moving forward. Or maybe you’re feeling depressed that you’re finally ready to date, and now you can’t leave your house. 

Did you know that, while 25% of Americans are staying inside their homes right now, Bumble has seen a 23% increase in Seattle and New York (two of the cities that have been hit the hardest and that are being ordered to stay inside).  And those numbers aren’t just reflecting swiping. These are people engaged in conversations. 

Men are saying that they have had such a hard time making the shift to online dating, because they were so afraid of not getting a response, and now it’s all there is, so they are being bolder! We are hearing the most fun stories from our clients who are getting creative with dating — having Facetime dates, grocery store dates, and picnics where they are keeping the 6-foot recommended distance — and moving forward with it anyways. 

Life is still happening. 

Even though we may be stuck inside and getting used to our new normal, life is still happening around us and we can choose to create the things we’ve always wanted now. 

The world is coming together right now. This is the most worldwide impactful event since WWII. 

Yes, there is uncertainty, and, where there is uncertainty, fear will be triggered. 

The thing is…. Humans are resilient.

There’s a reason why we’re still on this earth and dinosaurs aren’t! 

The human spirit has a natural instinct to adapt and keep moving forward, even under the hardest of circumstances. We feel a pull to keep growing and moving forward, no matter what. 

So, what are some things you can do to shift? 

For example, earlier this week, I was having a hard time focusing, so I went outside with my beach chair, a small table, my laptop, my Bible, and my books, and felt an immediate shift

I’ve been taking daily walks that I time precisely so that I can see the sunset.  It’s amazing how such simple things can make such a difference!

And, I’m immersing myself in books, videos, and audios that are focused on empowerment, prosperity, and faith!

Here are some ideas we’ve gotten  from women we’ve been speaking with: 

  • Go for a walk and pick some wildflowers from your neighborhood. 
  • Take extra time to practice self-care – do your own nails, give yourself a facial, light some candles and relax. 
  • Read all the books you never made time to read before! 
  • Pray and meditate. 
  • Listen to positive podcasts. 
  • Cook your favorite foods. 
  • Purge clothes and organize your house. 
  • Dance to your favorite music. 
  • Create a cozy space in your home you can escape to when you need some space. 

Many things may be cancelled, but life is not! 

Another thing that’s not cancelled is having meaningful conversations and connecting with others in creative ways. 

Neither are your dreams. You still get to have the life and love you’ve always wanted.  Don’t let fear or social distancing try to cheat you out of believing that!

If you’d like to talk about how this time can be an opportunity for you, instead of a block, let’s hop on a call and have a conversation about what you can do for yourself and for your dreams right now, regardless of what’s going on around you!

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Our prayers for peace are with you. 

Not Feeling Attracted To Anyone??

Not Feeling Attracted To Anyone??

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have a relationship from the past that you haven’t fully let go of? 

Is there someone that is still holding a piece of your heart?  

Maybe it wasn’t even a recent break-up, maybe it’s been two years, three years or even ten years ago, and it’s still blocking you from moving forward in love. 

If this is you, we hear you! It can be so frustrating when you want to run freely forward without anything from the past holding you back,  but just seem to be stuck. 

If this is you, we know that you want to get unstuck (otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this right now), but you just don’t know how. 

The first step in letting someone from the past go is understanding how holding onto that person and relationship is impacting you now, in the present. Whenever there’s something from the past that’s still in your space, it won’t  allow you to move forward. 

And how else is it impacting you?

To uncover the impact the past is still having on you, first look at your results. 

What are you currently experiencing? 

Are you going on dates or are you holding back? 

If you are going on dates, are you enjoying the process? 

Look at your last couple of dates. Are there patterns that are presenting themselves? 

Is there something wrong with every single person you  go  out with? 

Are you not attracted to anyone

Do you feel disconnected, and, immediately during or after every date,feel like he’s definitely not the one?

No,  you’re not going to be attracted to or want to date  every single person you meet. It’s natural to not be interested in every single man you go on a date with. But, if it seems you aren’t feeling it for anyone then  you may be holding onto someone from the past.

Recently a client expressed frustration with this very thing. She said that while she’s dating, she finds herself comparing every single guy  to her ex. She said he was the best boyfriend and that it was the best relationship she’d ever had. I lovingly pointed out to her that it couldn’t have been “the best,” because they’re not together anymore, and that there was a reason for that. There’s a reason that it didn’t work out, and as long as she keeps romanticizing this past relationship and putting that man on a pedestal, she will never have space for the right man — the one who really will be the best!

Sound familiar? 

If you find yourself having this experience, it’s time to get curious

Ask yourself, 

What’s really going on here? 

Why am I not feeling connection? 

Why am I never attracted to anyone? 

What’s really holding me back?

Get curious  

You will start to discover your blind spots by saying, “I wonder…” 

“I wonder if I’m still holding onto the past?” 

“I wonder why I can’t let go?” 

“I wonder what that person represents for me?” 

“I wonder if I’m afraid to move on?”

When it comes to breakups, it  would be weird if you didn’t miss someone that you once spent time with, and it’s normal to take time to grieve. However, sometimes we think that the longer we grieve or the more time we stay stuck, the more validation we give to the relationship. But, how much more time do you want to waste staying safe and alone? 

It’s okay to love someone and let them go.

Letting someone go does not invalidate the love you shared with him, the memories you created together, who he is  as a person, or the lessons the relationship taught you.  

And, just because you shared an incredible love once, doesn’t mean you can never find it (or something even MORE incredible) again.

When I lost my first husband and then found Ric, I realized that there’s more than just one “The One.” There are multiple people on this planet that can make you happy and love you forever! 

But only if you are open to it. 

Only if you are willing to do the HeartWork to bring the past to a close, release it from your mind AND your heart, and open the door to welcome the new love that’s already waiting for you. 

I promise you, there’s a love out there that’s even bigger and better than that person from the past. Someone even bigger and better than you can even imagine. And someone who wants to spend his life with you!

Because of this, Michelle and I would love for you to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening in just a few weeks!

Click here to say good-bye to the past and create a new and lasting love!

At this event, we’ll be helping you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for love that your heart deeply desires.

We’ll show you the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience that love  right now! 

The process we’ll be taking you through is hands-on, experiential, and transformative. 

We’re going to help you create your Love  Vision, teach you HOW to actually live into it so you can create it in real life in 2020! 

The absolute truth is that in order to open up to a new chapter, you have to complete the past. You take what worked and what didn’t work about that past relationship, release your attachment to the person, take whatever serves you into the future, and let go of everything else.  

It’s time for you to let go of the past and open up to the love that is already waiting for you.

Click here to create the love you want in 2020!