How to Break Through the Patterns Sabotaging You

How to Break Through the Patterns Sabotaging You

by | Mar 2, 2021 | breakups, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you feel like you keep experiencing the same disappointing results in your love life?

Do you feel like you’re trying new things and doing all the :right things,” but the same sabotaging behaviors show up?

Does it seem like, no matter what you do, you just keep repeating the patterns and getting the same results? 

First, you’re not alone.

We all have patterns, or habitual thoughts and behaviors, that hold us back from creating the results we want in our lives. These patterns are subconscious and they stem from fears and limiting beliefs that you don’t even realize are there!

The only way to stop these fears and beliefs from sabotaging your life and happiness is to break through and replace them so that they are no longer running the show. 

And here’s  what we want you to know: Repeating these patterns is not a reflection of how much you want to change them or whether you’re able to break through them. 

You can have all the desire in the world for things to change in your love life, and if you’re not doing the internal Heart Work to truly through these barriers, nothing will change.

The hard truth is, if you’re still not experiencing the relationship of your dreams and creating the results you want in your love life, there’s still some Heart Work to be done.

There are still sabotaging thoughts and behaviors to get to the bottom of and break up. There are still wounds that need to be healed.

You get to do the full Heart Work so that you can create everything you dream of. 

And if you’re in the place of thinking “Well, what about the years of therapy (or courses, workshops and retreats) I’ve already done” or “I’ve already done everything…” if you don’t have the results, there’s still a little work to do.

Consider that all of the work you’ve done already has led you to this place and moment you’re in right now, and that  because of that work, you’re ready to bust through the final beliefs NOW! Consider that this is your time for real change.

The first step in breaking through these sabotaging patterns that are holding you back, is to be willing to look at what’s not working. 

Ask yourself, “What might be having me do the same thing over and over again?”

Then recognize that it’s not anything outside of you!

I promise you that 99.99999% of the time, it’s not the app, or the man, or your ex, or your past., It’s something internal. 

If you have these thoughts on repeat… “I can’t trust people” or “Everyone lets me down” (along with a thousand other possible thoughts!), those are the fears and beliefs that are running the show of your life and stopping you from experiencing the fun, joy, and love you really want. 

After years of hearing those thoughts replaying incessantly over and over in your head, you stop realizing that you’re hearing them,  and there comes a point where those thoughts become your “truth.” …And you relate to them as the truth.

They become what we call a “Love Barrier” which blocks your ability to give and receive love freely. These Love Barriers are usually blind spots that you can’t see for yourself.But when you receive the guidance and support you need to recognize and break them down, you are able to get past them and create a flow in your love life. 

Once there’s  flow, you’re able to CHOOSE who you want to trust, spend time with, and love because the limiting beliefs and sabotaging patterns are no longer listening, speaking, or choosing for you..

So what about you? 

Are you willing to recognize that what you’ve been doing simply isn’t working to bring you the happiness, love, and relationship you want, and that you could use some support in recognizing what your blind spots that are creating the patterns that are sabotaging your dreams? 

We hoped you’d say Yes!” which is why we’re inviting you to join us at the Extraordinary Love Intensive on March 12-14th! 

This 3-day event intensive is designed to have you break through those Love Barriers, transform your love life, and attract and create the extraordinary, loving relationship of your dreams!

You will come out of this immersive weekend experience having more clarity about who you are and the patterns that are holding you back.  

You’ll do some of the deep and transformational Heartwork that’s necessary to break these patterns, and you’ll be so much closer to creating the relationship of your dreams.  

The powerful thing about these events is that when you’re there with us LIVE, you remember the work that you do. These patterns can be broken up once and for all, because what you’re experiencing it  LIVE at the event is that powerful. 

Claim your ticket to the Extraordinary Love Intensive

Don’t wait. Don’t keep putting your happiness on hold. I probably don’t need to tell you that waiting is another self-sabotaging behavior pattern that you can break free from now!

Claim Your Ticket Now!

Vulnerability is the KEY to Connection!

Vulnerability is the KEY to Connection!

by | Feb 22, 2021 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz 

Did you know that vulnerability is your superpower? 

Why?

Because vulnerability is the key to creating the loving, passionate, connected relationship you want.

So what does vulnerability look like? 

Vulnerability is…

  • Trusting yourself to know who to trust
  • Sharing authentically and honestly, yet appropriately
  • Being vulnerable and honest with yourself
  • Having clarity with yourself and living in an alignment with your values and who you really are.
  • The ability to be yourself without beating yourself up.

So what stops you from being vulnerable? 

Fear.

If you aren’t being 100% vulnerable with others then there is a fear at play behind the scenes.

Fear of disappointment.

Fear of what others might think. 

Fear that if you do _____ then ______ will (or wont’) happen. 

Fear that if you say ________ then they will think _______.

Fear that if you show up as yourself, people won’t like or approve.

Do any of these fears show up for you? 

If you’re afraid of being vulnerable, there is some pain you’re trying to avoid or something you’re trying to force/make happen.

These fears lead us to either pretend, hide, or resist. 

They lead us to try to control how everyone around us thinks and feels. 

They lead us to think that we must show up one way in order to get a certain reaction from people. 

How exhausting!

What’s worse is that people can usually pick up on the inauthenticity.Most people are be able to feel the insecurity behind everything you’re trying to cover up, and, eventually, it will all come out. 

Imagine going on a date with you and all of the things you’re trying to control…
It’s you, him, and a pile of fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs sitting across from each other.

Doesn’t sound very fun, right? Or very real.

So how do you overcome these fears and show up with vulnerability in order to create genuine connection? 

You do the Heartwork to uncover and heal those fears. 

You learn how to express yourself with intention so that your authentic and honest shares come out in a way where they can be received and respected. 

You practice. The more you practice vulnerability, the more confident  you will feel in simply being yourself.

Now, we know that it’s usually easier said than done.  (If you knew how to do all of this, you’d probably already be doing it, right?)

Doing the HeartWork to tear down the walls of pretense and stepping into your authentic and Irresistible Essence takes knowing what to do, what not to do, and what to do differently.


That’s where we come in, and that’s why we’re inviting you to join  us at the Extraordinary Love Intensive on March 12-14th! This 3-day event intensive is designed to have you break through your Love Barriers, transform your love life, and attract and create the extraordinary, loving relationship of your dreams!

You will come out of this incredible weekend having more clarity about who you are and the patterns that are holding you back.  You’ll do some of the deep and transformational Heartwork that’s necessary to break these patterns and you’ll be so much closer to creating the relationship of your dreams.  This is the work we usually only do with our clients, but we want to share it with YOU so that you can stop pretending and start BEing the authentic, vulnerable irresistible version of yourself that is going to have you attract an amazing man with whom you get to create Extraordinary Love!

Life doesn’t stop. Time is going to keep going by, no matter what choices you make.
Why not make a choice that’s going to lead to more joy, love, happiness and freedom in your life…And the kind of love you’ve always wanted?!

Claim Your Ticket Now!
Hurry! Before the 2-pay option goes away!

Vulnerability is the only way to create true love.

Let us guide you toward the life and love your heart desires!

How to Make Your Love Life a Priority

How to Make Your Love Life a Priority

by | Jan 15, 2021 | Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz 

Are you making your love life a priority? 

Here we are at the beginning of a new year and, we’re willing to bet that you’ve listed your love life as one of your top priorities for 2021.

That’s great! 

Now, what are you actually doing about it? 

What actions are you taking to make sure that you start creating the love you want now? 

The truth is that if you aren’t seeing the results you want to see in your love life, then your commitment is actually somewhere else. 

Even if you’ve got a vision board created, you’ve set some goals, and your vision statement is written out; if you’re not taking committed action on this goal, it’s not going to happen.

And we get it. When you’re a highly driven woman, you have goals and you’re used to hitting them, it can be frustrating and tiring when you’re not seeing success in your love life. 

So what do you usually do? 

You focus on something else. Something you think you have more control over and feel more confident in. 

Or you pretend that you don’t want to be in a relationship, that it’s not important to you, or that you’re 100% okay being single.

But here’s the thing…

There’s never going to be a better time to get committed to your love life. 

If you’re waiting until that big project is complete, until you finish school, until your kids grow up, until you lose the weight,until you’re 100% healthy and have everything figured out… 

it’s never going to happen. 

One of the saddest things for us to hear from women who say they’ve been waiting 15, 20, 48 years to create the love they want. They never thought they’d be waiting that long, and can’t believe how much time has passed. 

We want you to have the relationship of your dreams NOW! 

We know that creating an extraordinary love and life requires making it a priority! 

So how do you do that? 

How do you make creating the love you want a priority in your already full, busy, and beautiful life?

  • Distinguish what’s most important to you. 

What are the top five priorities in your life? Community? Friends? Family? Work? Home? Yoga? Health? Is your love life one of those top 5? 

  •  Ask yourself why those things matter to you.

Getting clear on why something is important to you, helps motivate you to put the time and energy into creating what you want to see. 

Ask yourself why creating an incredible relationship is important to – and why is that important to you – and why is that important?
Keep going deep with yourself and getting to the heart of what you really want and why you really want it is critical to making sure you realize your goals!

  • Decide what actions you will commit to taking to move the needle forward. 

What actions will you take daily, weekly and monthly to create progress in your love life? Aligning your actions with your priorities is the key to creating what you desire. 

Once you have these things laid out – you should start feeling more aligned with yourself and your goals. You’ll start to see shifts in what you’re creating and what you’re attracting into your life. 

If you’re still having a hard time – get curious about what’s getting in the way?
What’s in the gap between being clear with yourself about what you want?

If you’d like support with getting clear on what you really want, what’s stopping you from having that, and you want guidance in determining the actions that will help you most in creating the relationship of your dreams, then we want to talk to you! 

Book a Love Breakthrough session with one of our coaches. They can’t wait to talk to you and help you start to put your priorities in order and begin creating the life and love your heart desires!.

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Let Go of Your Checklist to Find the Love Your Heart Desires

Let Go of Your Checklist to Find the Love Your Heart Desires

by | Dec 11, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Getting engaged, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Ready to Love Again

by Gladys Diaz 

If you’re dating, do you have a checklist for what you’re looking for in man?

Whether it’s a physical list you’ve written down or a mental checklist you keep in your head, do you have one? 

If you do, you could absolutely miss the love that’s standing right in front of you. 

Don’t believe us? Read on. 🙂 

This week on Love Chat with the Love Twins, we had a powerful and fun conversation with one of our clients, Ellen, who’s story exemplifies this perfectly. (Did you miss it? Watch it HERE.)

Ellen is a teacher and single mom of a teenage daughter who had been divorced for 6 years. When she met us, she was dating again and had a very long, and specific, checklist of what she was looking for. 

She wanted a man who was older than her, who had grown kids, was Jewish like her, didn’t have a cat… and the list went on and on. She had all of this outlined on her dating profile and would get messages from men saying things like, “Well I made it to number 14!” 

This was not working for her!

So, she came to our event, New Love in the New Year, because she didn’t know how to attract the kind of man and relationship she was looking for. She wanted to be a good example for her daughter of how to approach dating and relationships in a healthy way and knew that she was most likely sabotaging her success altogether.

Through her experience at the event, she had some incredible breakthroughs! 

  • She gained awareness and started seeing her patterns in dating that weren’t working. 
  • She realized that her energy and negative thoughts around dating were influencing who she was attracting, and shifted from trying to “get” a man to “attracting” the man she wanted by being herself. 
  • She understood that she could be herself on dates and in budding relationships instead of always trying to fit into a mold of what the other person was looking for.

Through the coaching she did with us, she was able to let go of her checklist and realize that you have to actually fall in love with someone — the actual person, not just who they are on paper! 

She learned that her checklist was about trying to control the situation and who showed up in her life, which was all based in fear. 

As she recognized and released her fears, she was able to open up to what could be possible and started paying attention to what she wanted to experience in a relationship. 

She realized that letting go of the checklist is not about lowering your standards.

It was about breaking down the wall of fears so that she could experience what she wanted to experience in a relationship!

And that’s when Ross came into the picture. 

He sent her a thoughtful, kind message on the dating app, and it caught her attention. 

She looked at his profile and saw that he was a couple of years younger than her and he had younger kids. (Not what she was looking for!)

Normally, she would have looked the other way and not even messaged him back. 

But, because of what she’d learned in the program, she opened up and responded with love and curiosity. 

She’d shifted her perspective, and her experience was different. 

In her words, “I was no longer searching for my husband. I was just responding to someone and being kind. I wasn’t feeling so desperate to find it and that’s when it started coming to me.”

She got to know Ross, and she was attracted to his kindness, emotional intelligence and thoughtfulness.

 Their children got along beautifully, and he didn’t mind that she was still friends with her ex-husband.

 He stimulated her emotionally, mentally and physically, and now they are engaged to get married! 

When she looks back, she sees that, had she not shifted her mindset around her checklist, she would never have met him.

So many women worry that if they let go of their checklist they will have to settle for a bunch of things they don’t want. 

The truth is, if you stop focusing on what you don’t want, then you open up the space for what you do want to come in.

When you shift the focus to what you want to experience in a relationship, instead of what you want the man to be or have,  you open up the door to actually see him!

Ellen said, “A year ago, I would never have imagined that I’d be here. All of the things I didn’t know I could want again, I’m getting.”  

And you can have everything you want too.

If you already know you’re ready for and you want to hear what it’s like to be in this kind of relationship, we have an easy way for you to do this!

Join us this Sunday for a very special Fireside Chat with Us and Our Husbands! 

This is going to be a very special and intimate evening where the four of us will share with you exactly how we’ve created the love, connection, intimacy and joy we experience in our relationships, and how you can create the same. 

We’re going to be answering questions, sharing stories and opening up space in your heart for what you really desire to experience so  that you can have exactly what you desire! 

Register Here

You see, having the love you want is not just about finding a man. It’s about finding yourself, building trust, and knowing that you can create the relationship of your dreams! 

Join us and open up to what’s possible for you and your love life as you go  into the new year!

How to Create More Intimacy With Your Man

How to Create More Intimacy With Your Man

by | Nov 30, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz 

Let me ask you a couple of questions:

  1. How much connection and intimacy do you feel in your relationship?
  2. How effective is your communication? 

Did you know that communication and intimacy are 100% linked in a relationship?

Communication is key! You can have all the love in the world, and if you don’t know how to communicate effectively, then the relationship simply will not work. 

98% of the coaching we do is around communication. 

Why? Because it’s one of the most important aspects of any relationship (and it begins when you’re dating!). 

99% of divorces and break-ups happen because root issues in a relationship never get resolved because the couple doesn’t know how to communicate clearly, effectively, and in a way that BOTH partners feel heard and understood. 

Let me paint the picture for you of how this happens. I’m sure you’re going to be able to relate.

Do you ever have the experience when you’re talking to your partner that you’re not even sure  whether you’re having the same conversation? 

I remember before Ric and I learned the tools we teach now — sometimes it would feel like we were so far from being on the same page that it was like we weren’t even in the same room!

We were both so committed to being right that we weren’t even listening to each other. 

We would be talking about something completely innocent, like what bread we like to buy, and then I would say something, Ric would say something different, which made me feel like he didn’t hear or understand what I said. 

So, I’d say it again, but  louder this time, and he still wouldn’t understand,  and, before we knew it, we were yelling at each other, saying things we didn’t mean, being disrespectful, and hurting each other. 

And then we wouldn’t talk for two or three days. 

Well, we would talk a little, but it would be what I like to call the “caveman’s grunt.” I would ask Ric a question and he would give me a one-syllable or one-word answer under his breath, to let me know that he didn’t want to talk to me. (Ugh!)

Sound familiar? 

That’s how break-ups and divorce happen. 

Arguments start over silly (or sometimes important) things, the communication breaks down, and soon you’re arguing about something completely unrelated. 

Then the silent treatment begins, and the real problem never gets resolved. 

So,  do you want some real communication tools?

Do you want to stop getting frustrated with your spouse, getting angry and then reacting instead of responding thoughtfully and intentionally? 

Do you want to know what to say so that when your spouse says, “What did you say?” instead of repeating the same words louder, you can respond in a way that will make you feel understood and heard (and loved)? 

Do you want to know how to utilize your intention, tone and body language in your communication to increase love and intimacy? 

These are just a few of the things you’ll learn inside our Black Friday Special, the New Year New Love Bundle! 

Grab the New Year, New Love Bundle Now!

We are passionate about supporting women to communicate effectively because we know personally the painful consequences poor communication can have on a relationship. 

We want you to have all the tools that will have you communicate in a way that has you create the love, connection and intimacy you desire with your partner! . 

Click here to amp up the intimacy in your relationship!

Tip: This offer goes away TODAY, so act now.

How to Stop Meeting Mr. Wrong and Meet Mr. Right, Instead!

How to Stop Meeting Mr. Wrong and Meet Mr. Right, Instead!

by | Nov 20, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

Are you ready to meet the right man? 

The man who’s not only good for you and to you, but also someone who you feel magic with? 

One thing we hear from women consistently is that they find themselves in one of two scenarios… Let’s  see if you can relate. 

  • Scenario One: You keep attracting men into your life who aren’t good for you. They’re the “bad guys” who don’t  show up, only want sex, aren’t  looking for commitment, or ghost you after the first date (if you even make it to a date!).

There’s chemistry and connection, but, obviously, these interactions  aren’t going anywhere.

The problem with this scenario is that these women start to believe that all men are like this, and they lose faith in dating and their ability to attract a different kind of man.

Can you relate? 

What about this one.

  • Scenario Two: You attract good men into your  life – men of integrity and honor. Men who are seeking out the same loving, passionate, committed relationship they are and are ready to create that now.

Sounds great right? 

The problem with scenario two is that you often  don’t feel a connection with these men. There’s no chemistry, and even though you’re glad that   you’re attracting the good  men, you  still can’t seem to attract the right one… The man you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with.

Do you see yourself in either of those scenarios? 

Are you tired of meeting man after man, but never having it  turn into the loving, passionate, committed relationship you really want? 

If so, you want to ask yourself – “Why am I attracting this into my life?”

Get curious. Is it a pattern? 

What are the common denominators? 

How do you get to shift? 

After I got divorced, I was dating lots of men who all had the same problems. They were either addicted to something, in a relationship with another woman, and/or had some kind of drama constantly surrounding them. 

I was getting so frustrated, because I felt like I was dating the same man over and over again in a different body! 

One day I was telling a coach and mentor about my frustration, and, after he listened patiently, he asked me, “What do all of these men have in common?” 

Without even thinking, I responded with, “They’re  all liars cheaters, and they don’t know what they want!” 

He asked, “Okay, what else?” 

After a few more minutes of trying to answer his questions and getting more and more frustrated by the minute, I finally exclaimed, “Just tell me what you’re seeing, because I’m not seeing it!” 

He said, “The only thing these five strangers have in common is you. You are the common denominator.” 

Well, of course that isn’t what I wanted to hear. But once I let it sink in, I knew he was right. I knew that there was that was having me be attracted to and attracting this kind of man  into my life. 

I’d had enough of this. I was ready to make a change.

That’s when I really began my journey of doing the Heartwork and getting underneath this pattern to see what it was that I needed to heal and shift within myself. 

Once I did that, everything shifted. 

We often say that “happy enough is not good enough”! 

We’re committed to extraordinary love. 

The type of love that feels magical and takes your breath away. 

The type of love that has you feeling on top of the world and like you can do anything. 

The type of love that is just that – extraordinary. 

It starts with attracting the right man. And that starts with you. 

Please join us tomorrow, Saturday, November 21st for the Attract  the Right Man Webinar, where we’ll be diving into how to break this painful pattern once and for all! 

In this 3-hour masterclass, you will:

  • Learn what to STOP doing so that you can stop being attracted to and attracting the wrong man into your life
  • Discover what to START doing instead, so that you start attracting the kind of man who wants to create a happy, loving, committed relationship with you
  • Apply the steps and practices that will have you experience dating and relationships differently because you will be attracting and getting to know a completely different kind of man!

Click here to say “YES!” to Attracting the RIGHT Man into Your Life!

Whether you find that you keep attracting and dating “good guys” who are nice enough, but you simply don’t feel a connection with, OR you keep bringing in the same “bad guy” in a different body,  we’re going to show you how to break this pattern and bring in the RIGHT man — the one who will honor you, cherish you, and love you for the rest of your life! 

It’s time for you to attract  the RIGHT  man now!