Today is Halloween and I’m getting ready to decorate our front yard and start putting together my costume so that I can take my little one out trick-or-treating tonight. I love seeing all the little kids in their costumes, getting a chance to pretend that they are their favorite heroes and characters. I remember how exciting it used to be as a kid, myself (almost as exciting as looking forward to eating all of the candy once I got home!)
Coincidentally, this week I participated in a course on relationships, and one of the things we discussed was how people in relationships hide behind their masks. The instructor explained how in life, we are usually wearing either one of two masks:
When you are wearing your first mask, you show the world only who you want them to see. This is the mask that says:
“I’ve got it all together!”
I’m smart, capable, and just fine on my own! Thank you!”
The other mask is the one that hides what you don’t want others to see. It’s the one that says:
“I’m afraid.”
“I don’t know…”
“I don’t want to face this on my own.”
Wearing the first mask gives you a false sense of confidence. It’s the mask you use to seek approval, to look good and avoid looking bad. And, while it probably helps you accomplish many of your goals, it can also be the one that has you pretending to be pretty much perfect. And people – including men – simply can’t connect with perfection. It doesn’t allow others to get close to you and possibly contribute to you because, well, you’ve already got it all together!
Wearing the second mask can feel scary. It’s the one you try avoiding wearing at all costs. It keeps you from being vulnerable, has you praying no one sees your insecurities or imperfections. So, again, this mask can also push people away. When you’re that afraid of being seen, it’s difficult for the other person to get to know you – thereal you.
And, as Michelle and I always say:
He can’t fall in love with YOU, if YOU are not there.
So, for today, I invite you to ask yourself:
Where in my relationships am I wearing a mask?
What am I pretending?
What am I hiding?
What is it that you’re afraid others will see?
Remember, being authentic and vulnerable are essential to creating love and intimacy in a relationship.
Consider removing your masks and looking at who the real you is. Who you are is enough. You are already loveable. There’s no need to pretend, shut out, or push away the people who can and want to give you the love you deserve – including the man who wants nothing more than to let you know that he loves and accepts you just as you are!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
I was talking to a client the other day and she was sharing with me how she has a trouble trusting men. When you hear her story, you can understand why she feels that way. A failed marriage, due to infidelity, a failed relationship due to him not fully being over his ex when they got together, and a few other unsuccessful relationships in between. All of this helped reinforce her belief that it was difficult for her to trust men.
As we began to dig deeper into what the patterns in all of these relationships were, we began to uncover the truth about why she was finding it difficult to trust and open her heart to a new man.
Yes, the men she loved gave her reason to not trust them, but the truth was deeper than that.
There was actually a reason she was attracting these men into her life in the first place.
In fact, the real reason she was attracting men who made it difficult for her to trust had very little to do with the men.
It had to do with her.
The person she is really having trouble trusting is herself.
Trusting yourself means that you listen to heart, instead of your head.
I know, I know. You feel that listening to your heart is what’s gotten you burned in the past.
I want to invite you to open your heart and mind and consider something different.
When you don’t trust yourself to make the right choices – the choices that are aligned with your values, your truth, and what you really want – then you will likely allow something else to choose for you: Your fears.
When you allow your fears to make your choices, you always end up disappointed.
Your fear of being alone will have you choose to be with someone who isn’t really right for you.
Your fear of not finding someone else who will love you will have you hold on to a relationship that is toxic and unfulfilling.
Your fear that your partner or husband won’t love you the way he used to will have you pretend that nothing is wrong, even though all of the signs are there that the relationship is slowly (or quickly) falling apart.
On the other hand, when you trust and honor yourself and your truth:
You choose from a place of power.
You make choices that honor who you are and what you value to be true.
You’re not afraid to make these choices and you don’t feel like you have to force or impose those truths on the other person. You realize that the right man will choose to honor what’s true for you because he values who you are.
Allowing your fears to run the show leads to nothing but one disappointing heartache after another.
Learning how to start choosing from a place of power leads to you experiencing the happiness, love, and intimacy your heart truly desires.
If you’re finding it difficult to trust when it comes to relationships, I want you to ask yourself the following questions:
Do I trust myself to make the choices that are best for me when it comes to relationships?
If not, what is it that has me doubt my ability to make the right choices for myself?
How is this lack of trust impacting my relationships?
How might learning to trust myself give me different results in my relationships?
Being real with yourself and looking at what is standing in your way is the only way to transform and do something about it. It’s like any roadblock: Unless you’re clear about what is standing in your way, there is no way to avoid it and you’ll just keep slamming into it… over and over again!
If you’re ready to shift this dynamic in your life, answer the questions truthfully and then let me know what begins to open up for you. I’d love to support you in creating a real breakthrough in your love life that leads to you having the love you want and deserve!
And, by the way, as you do all of this, be gentle with yourself. Blaming, faulting, and or beating yourself up about the decisions you’ve made in the past doesn’t serve you unless you are committed to making different choices! And when you’re ready for that, get ready for your life to transform!
That’s probably of the most heartbreaking things to hear from my clients. This usually comes after a bad date, a break-up, or after not having the kind of success they want in dating and relationships.
The sad part is that they don’t say they are giving up on dating or on meeting the right guy… They say,“I’m giving up on having the love I want.”
If you’ve been in that place, you know just how painful it can be.
The disappointment and disillusion become just too much to bear and the thought of being alone for the rest of your life begins to seem less painful than believing that you can have the love you want and not seeing it happen yet.
This is why, when a client makes a comment like and still trusts us to help her do the work to get to the other side of her pain and resignation, and then reaches out to let us know she just got engaged, we just have to share it with the rest of the world!
So, today, we get to celebrate Kristin’s engagement!
Kristin worked with us as both private client and the Ready to Love Again program. She experienced the pain of heartache and the empowerment that came with removing the love barriers that were standing in her way so that she could welcome new and extraordinary love into her life!
She met a great guy who loves her as much as she loves him and who wants to spend the rest of his life showing her just that!
When I received the picture of her beautiful ring, all I could do was cry! There I was, in the middle of my son’s Boy Scouts Car Wash, laughing and crying at the same time! And I didn’t care!
I remembered just how hurt she had been and how she truly believed that she would not meet the man who would make her dreams come true! But, thankfully, Kristin was courageous enough to trust her coaches who believed in her and in her dream and weren’t ready to let her give up! She trusted us, did the work, and attracted the man of her dreams!
In her own words:
During the program, I was able to make a list of what I wanted to experience during courtship with a man. I will tell you this: I have seen every one of those things I listed with this man!”
I don’t know what comes up for you when you read and hear me say over and over again that you CAN have the love your heart desires.
I don’t know if that makes you shrug your shoulders and roll your eyes in resignation or if it inspires you to believe and step forward in faith.
Here’s what I do know. It IS absolutely true and it IS possible for YOU. It really is.
You just have to be willing to break through your fears, doubts, and resignation and begin learning and practicing the skills that are going to have you attract and create the relationship your heart truly desires.
And the best part is: You don’t have to do it alone.
As we announced last week, the Ready to Love Again Program is sold out and the doors are closed. It doesn’t matter why you didn’t choose to join us then. Whatever fears and doubts got in the way are just the ones that are used to winning out over your faith.
Today is a new day, and today you get to choose your dreams over your fears!
If you want to learn more about the Ready to Love Again Program and/or private coaching, just click the link below and set up a time to talk. During our conversation we’ll listen to what your individual goals are and let you know what we feel is the best next step for you to go in the direction of making your dream a reality!
No matter what, promise me and yourself that you won’t give up on your dream of having the loving, passionate, intimate relationship your heart desires.
There’s a reason that dream and desire is in your heart, and there is a way to make it come true!
It came true for Kristin. It came true for Michelle and me. And it CAN come true for you, too!
I know you’re hurt and unsure. I know you wonder if this is really possible for you. It is. Kristin is just one of the hundreds of women we have helped to create the loving relationships of their dreams. We didn’t let them give up on themselves or their dreams and we won’t give up on you or your dreams either!
I have to tell you that you have been on my mind constantly lately.
I keep thinking about how important your love life is for you and how much you want to feel the love, happiness, and intimacy your heart desires.
If you’ve been reading some of our emails lately – which you probably have, if you’re reading this one – then you know that we are about to close the doors to our Ready to Love Again Program.
I really don’t want you to miss out on the opportunity to release yourself from the past and all of the Love Barriers that have been blocking love from your life so that you can finally have the love you want and deserve,
Since I haven’t had an opportunity to speak personally with everyone who is interested in creating a radical shift in their love life, I thought that I would shoot a video asking some of the most common questions I’ve been getting during my conversations with women who are wondering, “What do I need to move beyond heartache and get ready to love again?
In this video, I answer questions like:
How can I really let go of the past so that I can move forward in my life?
How do I stop repeating the same patterns in relationships?
How do I know if the Ready to Love Again Program will work for me?
I’ve done a lot of other programs. How is this program different?
What if I still love my ex?
Now, you may have a question that is not answered in this video, so, if you want to ask me a question, you can either send me an emailand ask me your question, or you can set up a time for us to talk.
But don’t wait, because the program closes at midnight on Monday and I have a few special bonuses for the next 3 women who jump in now!
Watch the video now and I look forward to hearing from you!
Because time is running out and there are so many people wanting to get in before the doors close, there may not be that many sessions available. If you don’t find a time that works for you, send me and email and we’ll figure something out! You and your love life are way too important to put this off, soclick here to schedule time to talk now!
This morning I had one of those “a-ha!” insight moments while I was running that I just had to share with you!
I saw something for myself that I believe will make a difference for you when it comes to love and relationships, so I shot a really quick video right before going on a lunch date with my hubby (hence the outfit) and I wanted to get it to you before the end of the day!
I even included an exercise that you can do to walk yourself to the other side of a disempowering thought around yourself, love, and relationships!
Plus, I give you some “work” to do!
I’d love to hear your thoughts, so make sure you leave your comments below the video and “Do the work!” (You’ll get what that means when you watch the video!)
Today is the first day of school for my kids and I’m really missing them! The house seems so quiet, and I find myself counting down the hours to when I can go pick them up!
As much as I would have liked summer to have lasted a little longer, I’m also excited for them! They have no idea how many new and exciting lessons they are going to learn, all of the amazing things they are not even aware that they don’t know! It’s like a whole new world is waiting just to be discovered!
I’m also excited for the ladies who are just getting started our Ready to Love Again program! They, too, are beginning a new journey filled with thrilling lessons, awesome discoveries, and breakthroughs too big for them to even imagine!
Already, we are hearing wonderful feedback from what is opening up for them after just one call!
Here are some of the comments we’ve received!
“I actually feel different, just from one call…That can’t be?!?
I feel somehow empowered. Yes, I am still chicken on many things, but today I’m somehow standing taller, like a have a back up team or something… My love twins!”
~ Dalia
“The other day I had an a-ha moment after a meditation that was life changing! Out of nowhere I recognized that the past 15 years was what it took of me to grow, evolve and accept myself without shame or judgments and have the courage to step up to the Love Twins and say, “Help me break my patterns that have kept me prisoner to my own denial.”
I thanked the 17 years, to be exact, as if they were a friend, and, in that moment, I felt like years just lifted off my shoulders. I no longer feel it’s too late for me to find my partner!
Thanks to your advice, Gladys, the other day I was open, friendly and smiled with a man in the grocery store. He said, “I hope to see you then soon now that you maybe shopping here again.”
I felt like it was a dress rehearsal or practice for opening up to love. I won’t tell myself that I am too old to find a loving relationship anymore! Thanks, Love Twins and sisters on this journey!”
~ Y.E.
Another participant who was struggling with attracting men into her life that were either (1) unavailable, or (2) she was not interested in has already met a guy who is (1) available and (2) as interested in her as she is in him!
While these results are fast, they are not entirely surprising to us, because we know the difference it makes to work with coaches in a program that is completely centered around YOU attracting the love and happiness your heart desires!
So, if you’re ready to take your heart back to school and learn the skills that lead to you creating the love that you want, take a moment right now to schedule a call to speak with one of us!
We are only keeping registration open for another week or two, or until the last of the remaining 5 seats are taken – whichever comes first!
The last thing you want is for another year (or 2, or 17) to go by with you wondering why it is that you haven’t been able to attract the love you desire and deserve.
No one can do this work for you – it’s entirely up to you – but we are here to do the work with you and give you the support that you need to break free from your love barriers and break through to the love and happiness that are waiting for you on the other side!
No matter what you’ve been through, there is nothing standing in the way of you having the loving relationship you want except the stuff you’re holding onto from your past. Release the past and open your heart to new and extraordinary love!
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