This morning, one of my first thoughts was about YOU! Why?
See, today is July 7th, and it’s sort of my Independence Day.
Three years ago today I received a phone call that I had been dreading for years. My boss called me with someone from the HR Department on the line to let me know that they were eliminating my position. I wish I could tell you that I was the picture of grace and ease on that phone all, and I’d be lying to you if I said that. I was a mess! I was crying, begging, and pleading. I was trying to explain to them how my family really relied on my income, and it didn’t make a difference. They were simply eliminating my position.
What does any of this have to do with YOU?
Watch the video below to see how YOU became part of turning what I thought was going to be a nightmare into a series of dreams-come-true! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxgw-7mEnN4
It wasn’t until several months later that I was able to see something that I hadn’t been able to see before. I was driving in my car, on my way to a woman’s business conference where I was speaking to women about how having a really great relationship requires us to be willing to take even bigger risks than the ones we take in our businesses, because we’re taking emotional risks. As I was practicing my talk, it was like one of those moments in a movie, where a ray of light comes and I was able to see what I couldn’t see before. That was that , on that conversation with my boss, where they had told me that they were eliminating my position, they actually had offered me another position. It was a position where I would be making the same amount of money that I had been making before, but I was going to be to traveling 80% of the time. I simply wasn’t willing to settle for that. I simply wasn’t willing to make that type of sacrifice.
Where all these months I had been saying that I’d “lost my job,” I saw in that moment that I had said, “No, thank you,” that I had walked away. I had claimed my independence from that job!
I also saw how it was in the weeks and months after that time, that I would share with people that I had lost my job, and they would say things like, “That’s Great! Now you can focus full-time on Heart’s Desire,” “Now you can do relationship coaching full-time,” “Now you can finish your book!”
And, every time somebody said that, I’d get so angry! (Even my kids were saying this!) But, you know, you’ve got to look at the signs in your life, and if enough people are saying the same thing, you might want to listen!
So I started to listen and I started to wonder, “What if I could really make this my career?” I had been saying for years that I wanted to do relationship coaching full-time but I couldn’tbecause of my job. I’d said it enough times, that God and the Universe heard me!
So I started to wonder, “What if I could do it?”
I started thinking of all of the women who I had worked with when I was doing this on the side, how they’d come to me hopeless, thinking that they were never going to be in a loving relationship or that they were going to be unhappy forever in their current relationships, and now they were living in the relationship of their dreams! If they were married, they weren’t just “happily married.” They were blissfully married to their husbands.
And I really started to believe that I could do this full-time.
And that’s where YOU came in! That’s why I thought of YOU this morning!
Because YOU – and, yes, I’m talking specifically to YOU – you’re part of my mission to have every single woman on this planet experience the joy of loving and being loved every single day of your life!
You’re what gets me up in the morning. You’re what I go to bed thinking about at night. It’s what I pray for. You’re what I work for when I don’t feel like going on anymore, because I’m tired! It’s knowing that this is my passion – that this my purpose – that keeps me going.
So, I just wanted to say, “Thank you!”
Thank you for being part of my purpose-filled life.
I also wanted to let you know that I have3 spots left in my VIP Coaching Program. This is a high-intensity program, where you work with me 1-on-1, and the whole purpose of the program is to take you from wherever you are – whether you are single or in a relationship – to where you want to be in your love life!
We take a look at your goals. We look to see what is it that has been stopping you from experiencing that level of love? What is it that has been blocking love from either coming into your life or manifesting daily? Then we create a plan and we work on it together.
So, in just a few months, you can be telling people about how your dream became a reality.
If that’s something that interests you, go ahead and click on the link below, schedule a Ready for LoveSession with me. We’ll see if this program is a good fit for you, and, if it is, we’ll get started right away on taking you in the direction of your dreams and making your heart’s desires a reality!
Thanks again for being part of my life. Thanks for letting me make a difference in yours, and until our hearts meet again, always remember that you are loved!
P.S. I settled for a long time in my previous job, afraid that I wouldn’t be able to make my dreams a reality. Don’t settle for anything less than extraordinary love. You don’t have to. I’m here to help you manifest it!
Just contact me to schedule a Ready for Love session, and we’ll get you started on the path to making your relationship dreams a reality!
This weekend we celebrated Independence Day in the United States. While I’m always grateful to live in this country, on July 4th in particular I am present to how incredibly blessed I am to have the freedom and opportunities available to me!
One of the truths about freedom is that it’s never “free.” Freedom comes with a price. There are millions of men throughout history who have fought for, stood for, and given their lives so that I could enjoy the freedom I have today to create the life my heart desires.
The same holds true when it comes to you and your life. Whether or not you live in the U.S., you actually have the power to break free from the past and create a new future where you are able to experience the love and joy your heart desires! But that freedom also comes with a price.
To create the type relationship your heart truly desires, you have to be willing to let go of a few things.
You have to let go of the stories you have been telling yourself about you not being worthy or deserving enough to experience that type of love.
You have to let go of the resentment, regrets, and anger that you’ve been holding onto and have kept you bound to your past.
You have to let go of fearand be courageous enough to trust and open your heart to love once again.
Once you let go of those things that have been holding you back, keeping you stuck, and blocking you from attracting and experiencing the type of love you want,there is FREEDOM on the other side!
Freedom from pain.
Freedom from fear.
Freedom from a past that no longer serves you!
So, if you are in a place in your life right now where you feel held back, held down, and unable to move forward, I invite you to LET GO and embrace the love, happiness, and freedom that are already waiting for you!
And we’ll be there to welcome you on the other side!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
This is a completely different subject but still in the line of ultimatums. My boyfriend watched porn before we got together but we agreed he’d stop for us to be together, so he threw his CDs away. 7 months later, I found one of the “thrown away” CDs out after I came home from visiting family in a different state. He broke it and promised not to do it again. But since then, I’ve found out he’s still watching it because it was on the history (and we only have an 18mo old and one on the way, so no other adults in the house). He started deleting the history and promised once again he would not watch it because he wants us to stay together and he loves his family. Finally, today I found out he watched another one and deleted it (it had a time stamp on the computer) the other day when I went to get my haircut and our son was taking a nap.
So how do I let him know that I’m finished with his porn addiction? He needs to stop or we are gone. I love him and I know he loves us…but I can’t keep putting negative thoughts into my head when it’s not about me.
*Confused*
I know that this can be a very sensitive topic, so I appreciate you reaching out to write about it. I can hear that you are feeling very frustrated and unsure about what to do.
People have different opinions regarding porn, and it’s clear that yours is that you don’t like it, agree with it, or want anything to do with it. Apparently, your boyfriend feels differently. He enjoys watching porn, and was doing so before getting together with you, so it’s important that you realize that his choice has nothing to do with you.
You continue looking for evidence, catching him, and telling him he has to stop. He continues to promise you that he won’t watch it anymore because he loves you, and, therefore, doesn’t want you to be upset and he wants to try to make you happy. This cycle will probably continue for as long as you continue to try to get him to stop.
The fact is that he is a grown man, and, whether or not this is a true addiction or simply something that he enjoys, telling him what he can or cannot do is something that may be okay when it comes to your 18-month-old, but not for an adult man.
In fact, the more you try to control him by telling him what he can and cannot do, the more likely he is to want to do it.
As you read in the other article, ultimatums rarely work, especially when it comes to relationships. So threatening him to leave and take your children with you may get him to stop — perhaps temporarily — but it will most likely impact the love and intimacy in your relationship because (1) you’re threatening to take your children away, and (2) you’re treating him like a child, rather than the man who is the father of your child.
Telling him what to do hasn’t worked, and threatening him hasn’t and probably won’t work. The only way he is going to stop watching porn is if he chooses to stop of his own free will.
True change only ever “sticks” when it comes from within.
So, what are your options?
Well, you say that you love him and you know he loves you. The fact that you know this tells me that he’s probably a good man and father. It also tells me that you probably don’t want to leave him. So, before you threaten to leave and take your children with you, you want to make sure that you are willing to go through with it, should he choose to continue watching porn.
Another option is letting him know that you do not want pornography in the house. By expressing your desire in this manner, you are making it about you and what you want – or, in this case what you don’t want – rather than what you want him to do or not do. This doesn’t mean that he will stop, but at least you will have expressed yourself in a respectful manner.
You can also accept that this is something that he enjoys watching, acknowledge that it has nothing to do with you or how he feels about you, and let it go. I know it probably won’t be easy, given your feelings about it. However, it is possible to respect him and his choices without agreeing with them.
If you do choose to leave and take your children with you, it’s important that you not make your choice to leave about him not wanting to stop watching porn. Instead, own your choice and make it about you not being willing or able to accept it. That way, you can be empowered in making your choice, rather than seeing yourself as a victim of his.
As I said, I know this is a sensitive topic, and you may have additional questions, so, if you’d like to talk about it some more, feel free to contact me and we’ll schedule a time to talk so that I can offer further support!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
If you’re tired of attracting unavailable, unfaithful, and non-committing men into your life, then you’ll want to click below and listen to today’s Coaching Clip!
One of the common complaints Michelle and I hear from women is that they keep seeing a pattern emerging in their love life and relationships. For some women, it’s that they keep attracting unavailable or unfaithful men. For others, it’s that men often disappear after they have been physically intimate with them. And others complain that they just can’t seem to find someone with whom they feel any real attraction or connection.
At times it can seem as if these things just “keep happening” to you. The truth, however, is that, this pattern is something that you are creating in your life.
Now, I know what you’re thinking:
“Why in the world would I continue to create something I don’t want?”
I understand. It seems crazy to think that you would do something that would have you continue experiencing pain, frustration and sadness. However, the truth is that most of the time, you are doing this subconsciously. You’re not even aware that you’re doing it!
So, why does this happen?
Many times, the harmful patterns you create in your life are triggered by a fear, doubt, or limiting belief that you are subconsciously trying to prove correct and keep alive. There was something that happened in your past, and you made a decision that it would never happen again. In trying to avoid having that pattern reappear, you continue creating and gathering evidence to support the beliefs you made up (“I’m not good enough,” “I don’t deserve to be happy,””I’m just not good at relationships.”).
In today’s Coaching Clip, you’ll hear how Michelle guides Melisa to discover a truth she had been unable to see for herself before that has led to her attract unavailable and unfaithful men. The truth she discovers in this clip is something many people had told her about in the past. While she wasn’t ready to hear it then, she was ready during the Live Group Coaching Call we hosted a few weeks ago.
Listen in and see how Michelle guides Melisa and helps her identify the belief about herself that has had her repeatedly attract unavailable men into her life. Notice Melisa’s courage and her unwillingness to stay stuck anymore! It’s truly inspiring!
One of the powerful aspects of group coaching is that, even if you’re not the person being coached, you get to listen to, receive the coaching, and apply it in your own life.
As you listen to this Coaching Clip, I invite you to put yourself in Melisa’s place.
What is the limiting belief you keep proving over and over again in your life and relationships?
What is the pattern that keeps showing up because of this?
And, most importantly, are you ready to finally put an end to it?
If you are, after you listen to the coaching clip, reply to this send us an email letting us know what the pattern you want to stop is, and Michelle and I will be happy to help you break through it once and for all!
Click Below to Listen to Today’s Coaching Clip!
P.S. Melisa was courageous enough to be willing to look within, listen to the coaching she was getting , and then make the decision to sign up for the “Ready to Love Again” 6-Week Course. If you’re ready to change your life, get unstuck, and have the love you want, sign up for now!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
I recently split from my man after a three year relationship. It has been very difficult for me to move on, even though he was cheating on line with a woman from his past. Over twenty years ago he had relations with this woman and a child that passed away. He had told me that she was responsible for the death and he would gain her trust to avenge the death of his daughter. I was amazed that he would tell me this and then pursue a legitimate relationship with this woman, even though she lives across the country from him.
I know this was an unhealthy relationship for me and I need to move on, but I’m guessing, that because of the rejection, I feel the need for a different ending for closure. Please give me advice on how to move on for me. No man should be the motivation for a brighter future.
I know that ending a long-term relationship is never something that is easy to do, even when all of the signs are clear that this was not a healthy relationship. I can hear that you are hurt by the betrayal, which is completely understandable. I’m also concerned that you stayed in a relationship with him, even after he mentioned that he was planning to gain this woman’s trust so that he could avenge his daughter’s death. The first thing I thought when I read that sentence was that that type of comment would have set off red flags, whistles and sirens for me regarding whether or not he was someone I could trust. He was practically letting you know that he’s someone who couldn’t be trusted.
Now, perhaps he said that in a moment of pain or distress over the loss of his daughter. I don’t know, nor do I want to begin trying to analyze the authenticity of his statement. My main concern lies with you and helping you move past this so that you can experience the healthy, happy relationship you deserve!
There is a really powerful statement you made that is at the heart of the pain you are experiencing. You wrote:
I feel the need for a different ending for closure.
The problem with this is that you want something different from what actually happened to happen, which is impossible. The fact is he was communicating with the woman he told you he was angry and blamed for the death of his daughter. Unless they were seeing each other, there wasn’t an actual affair taking place. That being said, I can still see where it would hurt you to find out that he may have been emotionally connecting with someone else. For all you know, this was part of his plan to gain her trust (based on what he said to you earlier). But the fact is that you found out about their communication and this is why the relationship ended.
Most of the time, when we are upset about something, it’s not so much that we’re upset about what happened or what is happening. The upset comes from wanting the situation to be different from what it is. And, because that is impossible – things are the way they are and they are not the way they’re not – we cause ourselves unnecessary worry, anxiety, and frustration. We keep replaying all the other ways it could have been or should have been. However, the situation remains what it is, and no amount of wanting or wishing that it were different is going to change that.
Another thing that causes us to feel pain and regret is that, while it seems that we are angry and upset at the other person for what he or she did, we’re actually upset with ourselves. We’re upset that we didn’t see or chose not to see the signs. We regret having invested so much time in a relationship that didn’t turn out the way we’d hoped. And we hold on to that upset and regret so that we don’t have to be responsible for moving forward, because there’s a risk that we might get hurt again.
So, what can you do move past this relationship so that you can open your heart to one that fulfills and honors you?
Accept what’s happened. The first step to moving forward is going to need to be to accept that what happened, happened. Accepting what’s happened does not mean that you agree with, condone, or celebrate it. It simply means that you acknowledge that it is what happened and that wanting and wishing it to be any other way does not change what actually happened, nor does is serve you.
Let go of regret. Are there things that you have been replaying in your mind? Things you should or shouldn’t have said or done? Mistakes or decisions you wish you’d made or hadn’t made? Actions you wish you’d said or not said? Are you regretting having spent 3 years with someone, only to have things not work out? Let go of anything that has been keeping you stuck in the wishing that things were different than the way they are.
Forgive. While your ex may be someone you want to consider forgiving, just so that you can experience peace from anger, upset and regret, I invite you to begin by forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself for anything for which you have been blaming or making yourself wrong. If there are any regrets you didn’t let go of in the second step, or if some anger or resentment happens to come up again, accept, let go, and forgive yourself (or him) for it. Bringing love and compassion to yourself will make it much easier for you to begin to open your heart so that you can receive it from another.
And you’re right. No man should be a motivation for a brighter future. The only thing that truly results in transforming ourselves and our lives is actually inspiration, because it’s motivation that comes from within. Bring acceptance to this situation; let go of all of the pain and suffering you’ve been holding on to; and bring love and compassion to yourself. Once you’ve done that, you’ll be on the path to having the love and the life that your heart truly desires!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
How do we know what we are looking for in a relationship? Especially me, who had short lived relationship of 3 ½ months, how do I change? I know everyone tells me that it’s not me but it’s hard to believe it’s not me. They tell me I shouldn’t change for someone but I would think I would have to, because if I couldn’t make this short relationship work for only 3.5 months how will I ever have a lasting long term one?
The last serious relationship I had before this short one was over ten years ago and I caught him cheating and after that I just concentrated on my son getting him through high school and college so now I need to figure how to live and find someone I can offer something to God willing?
I can hear that you are frustrated and that you really do want to be in a relationship. I also hear that you’re not exactly sure what it is that you want to experience in a relationship.
I agree with your friends that you shouldn’t have to change who you are in order for someone to love you, because you – the essence of who you are – is who you want someone to fall in love with.
There are, however, thoughts, behaviors, and patterns that don’t serve us or stop us from having what it is that we want to experience, that we may need to change. The first step, however, is to address the question at the beginning of your email: How do we know what we are looking for in a relationship?
You mention having had your heart broken twice – once as a result of a betrayal, and the other after your last relationship. Having your heart broken is never easy, and it can seem even more painful when the heartache is due to someone betraying the trust we placed in them. I’ve also found that it’s not uncommon for women to focus on other things – their children, their careers, their hobbies and interests – as a way to avoid the possibility of having to experience that sort of heartache again.
The problem is that, if what your heart truly desires is to be in a relationship, even if you find pleasure and satisfaction in the other things you are focusing on, part of you may always feel unfulfilled, because you are not honoring that desire. The only way to truly feel fulfilled is to honor our truth and to be willing to take a risk – yes, even one that involves potential heartache – in order to experience what we truly want.
You ask how you can truly know what you want in a relationship. Many times, women will begin to list what it is they want to find in a man or the type of man with whom they want to be in a relationship. However, the love and happiness we seek will never be found in another person. That’s way too much responsibility and pressure to put on another human being who is already dealing with being responsible for his own happiness. Instead, what you want to focus on is how you want to feel within that relationship. What is the type of experience you’d like to have?
When you think about or envision yourself being in a “happy relationship,” what does that mean?
What does it feel like? What are the emotions you feel that let you know that you know that you know that this is it?
What does it look like? How do you relate to one another? What are the things you do that let both of you know that you are exactly where you’ve always dreamed you’d be inside of a relationship?
What does it sound like? What are the words that you speak and say to one another? How do you speak to one another? What’s the experience of speaking and being heard by one another like?
Really try to envision yourself in the type of relationship you dream of being in.
If you’re still not sure of what that dream relationship would be like, picture couples who you consider to be happy together. What do you notice when you observe them? What makes it seem like theirs is a good relationship?
Don’t rush to answer. Give it some thought. Many of us have not asked ourselves these types of questions, because we’re so focused on meeting him and on how he needs to look, be, and act that we don’t always think about what it is we’d like to create with him – whoever he is – once we attract him into our lives.
So, take your time, allow yourself to dream big, and then begin to live and be the qualities you’d like to see in your dream relationship so that you can attract someone who also wants to create that with you!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.AcceptRead More
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
