Are You Ready to be Liberated from Anxiety?

Are You Ready to be Liberated from Anxiety?

by | Mar 6, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have a fear of abandonment?

If you’re dating, do you constantly fear that no man will stick around, causing you anxiety and stress through the process? 

If you’re in a relationship or married, do you torment yourself with thoughts that he’ll cheat or leave? 

Do you feel like it doesn’t matter how much they tell you that they’re going to stay, you still worry? 

If so, then you most likely have a fear of abandonment. 

And this doesn’t mean that you have a parent that left you… though it might. Any experience of feeling like someone left you, any experience as a child or teenager, can leave you with this fear. 

For me, our Dad died when we were 3 years old. My mom told us that he had “gone to live with the angels” but my little 3-year old brain didn’t understand what that meant. I just wondered what would make my dad leave me? That was the beginning of my abandonment fears. 

Then, when we were 15, we went to live with  other relatives because my mother, who had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and alcoholism (not a good combination!) left. I wondered why my mother didn’t love us? Did she love alcohol more? 

And that fear of separation and abandonment was reinforced. 

Because of those experiences a few behaviors were created. I became very needy. I constantly needed others to validate me and reassure me of their love. I had a need to prove how great I was and often found that in order to do that I had to pretend to be something I wasn’t. I was super jealous in relationships and would create unnecessary drama. 

In every relationship, I created one of two things. Either they would leave or I would leave before they could get the chance. 

I was never getting to experience true intimacy in a relationship because I wasn’t allowing myself to go there.

Can you relate?  

Here’s the thing. High-quality, integritous, confident men will not put up with this in a relationship. No matter how much they love you. If a man constantly feels like you don’t trust him or that he can’t make you happy, it affects his confidence and he will eventually withdraw or leave altogether.

Through your behavior you are actually creating the very thing you fear. 

So how do you overcome this fear before it destroys your relationship? 

  1. Ask yourself – Who am I being in my life and this relationship that has me think that it’s so easy to pick up and leave me?  – Asking yourself this question really opens up for you to explore the responsibility for your behavior. It also will help you to uncover what happened that had you make the decision that you were and will continue to be abandoned. 
  2. Resolve – completely accept the reality of what happened. – For me that was 1. My dad died and 2. My mom needed help and had to leave. Those are the facts. That is the truth without any of my meaning-making behind it. Once you can 100% accept the reality of what happened you can step into your power. 
  3. Dismantle the underlying beliefs. – Once you have uncovered the core belief, where it came from, and resolve it for yourself, you can uncover the other limiting beliefs about yourself. Once I accepted the reality I started to get that I am loveable. I will be okay. I am worth sticking around for. 

And that’s when relationships started to get good. 

Because the truth is… love is not enough. Relationships take love, respect, communication and trust to work. 

So… will you do the HeartWork? And if you need support will you schedule a call with us? Sometimes this is tough work that having  support could make all the difference for you! What if you could liberate yourself from fear and anxiety in your relationships? How much would that be worth to you? 

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Releasing Toxic Emotions and Feeling Whole Again

Releasing Toxic Emotions and Feeling Whole Again

by | Dec 13, 2019 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

Are you really happy?

I ask because, many times women say they are happy when really, underneath, there are other things going on. This is so often what’s blocking them from finding love!

Now, I’m not talking about pretending to be happy. And I’m not saying that you can never be sad. Experiencing happiness, as well as sadness, are both parts of being human. As are feeling disappointed, jealous, angry, joyful, and apathetic. 

These are all human emotions. 

What I am talking about is when these emotions become your “emotional landing place” or your natural state. When feeling sad, angry, disappointed or apathetic become the place you seem to come back to, even after brief moments of happiness or joy, that’s when they’ve become “toxic emotions.” 

An emotion becomes toxic when you allow it to “settle in” and take home in your heart. When you have these toxic emotions that haven’t been worked through, they show up, and usually in ways you don’t like and that push love away. 

Last weekend, at our incredible 2020 Love Vision Event, we coached several women who were dealing with unresolved toxic emotions . When they were triggered, some shut down, others got visibly angry, some allowed the toxic emotions to take over how they reacted and responded, and others were unable to feel anything.  

And we coached them to feel, process, and release the toxic emotions. 

See, when a toxic emotion comes up, it’s usually triggered by a memory or thought of something upsetting.  The thing to remember is that it’s not the current situation that is “causing” the emotions to come up.  Those emotions are already there, under the surface, , so you must feel them so that you can then do the work of releasing them. 

So how do you release toxic emotions? 

1. Feel it. 

As I said, in order to begin the process of releasing toxic emotions, you must feel them. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re angry, punch your pillow. Allow the emotion to be present for a moment, so you can feel it. The problem comes when you bury it.

2. Process it. 

Ask yourself… “What’s causing this? What are the triggers? How is it showing up in other areas of my life? life? What impact is it having? 

Is it causing you to lash out? 

Are you relating to yourself a victim because of it? 

Is it causing you anxiety or depression or nervousness? 

Is it making it difficult for you to connect with people? 

Are people being able to notice the energy of the emotion that’s constantly around you? 

Another place to look to how toxic emotions  may be impacting you is in your body. As Louise Hayes taught in her book You Can Heal Your Body, our emotions have a way of showing up in our bodies. 

Have you suddenly gained or lost weight? Are you having unexplained aches and pains anywhere in your body? Are you having a hard time sleeping?  What is your body telling you? 

Also, look around you. Your life and your space are a reflection of what’s really going on inside you. Is your house a mess? Are you having a hard time keeping your desk organized? Do things seem to keep breaking around you? 

If you’re feeling like something’s off, do a personal inventory and ask yourself:  Where, energetically, am I in breakdown?  “What in my life is out of integrity?

These questions will help you take a self-inventory to see what’s actually going on beneath the surface.

3. Release it. 

Once you’ve  done the work to uncover and discover what is causing the toxic emotion and how it’s impacting you, you can then choose to let it go. You can release the emotion by seeing that you no longer need to experience this emotion.  Whatever triggered the emotion is usually no longer happening,  and you can choose to release it, rather than holding onto it and allowing it to consume you.

Happiness and lightness are what are attractive to others and what makes your body and soul feel good! We have emotions for a reason, and experiencing them is a human condition. 

The key is not being scared of them, wrapping yourself up in them, or indulging in them for too long.  Instead, allow yourself  to feel  them appropriately, process them, and release them so they don’t get stuck, become toxic, and stop you from having and experiencing the happiness and love your heart desires. 

If you’re dealing with toxic emotions and having trouble working through and releasing them, let us help you do the HeartWork to work and break through them.  You don’t have to let the toxic emotions rob you of the life and love you want.  And you don’t have to do this alone. Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

Yes, I want to break free from my toxic emotions!

You Get To Be Cherished.

You Get To Be Cherished.

by | Dec 6, 2019 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love

by Michelle Roza

 

Do you want to be cherished?
 

I don’t know about you, but that word just brings all the feels! 

To be cherished. What does that really mean? 

Literally, the word cherish means to hold dear, to show affection for, to cultivate care, and to harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely. 

Being cherished looks like being absolutely loved, cared for, and protected. 

So how do you attract the man that will not only cherish you, but cherish you forever? 

#1 – Believe You’re Worth It. 

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it forever, because it really is that important. 

The reason why we say it over and over is because I don’t think any of us walk around consciously thinking that we aren’t worth it. But, when you stop and honestly look at what’s underneath, do you really know that you deserve to be cherished? 

I know, for me, I remember when I didn’t believe.

On the surface, everything looked great, but, underneath, it wasn’t great at. Because I didn’t believe that I was worth it.

I never allowed myself to be seen by the men who I thought were really great. The high-quality, good character men, I just didn’t show up for. I always went one step below. 

Because that’s what I felt like I deserved. 

I felt so much shame about my divorce, about dating not working for me, and about being alone. I felt like my time was just about up to find love, and I was so desperate for love!

Can you relate? 

It wasn’t until I did the HeartWork – the internal work to release, heal, and let go of the layers of fear, shame and heartache – that things started to shift.

I started to feel better FOR REAL, so that’s what started being reflected out in the world, and that’s what I began attracting. 

I stopped attracting “not good”men and “not-good-for-me” men and started attracting those good guys that had the qualities that I desired

And I soon found Arnie. 

The #1 thing you MUST do in order to find the partner that will cherish you forever is to believe that you are worth it.

#2  – Make Yourself a Priority

You must make yourself a priority if you expect anyone else to. And it’s not just about doing your nails and your hair and looking physically attractive. It’s also not about buying yourself more “stuff.” 

Making yourself a priority is about spending time with yourself. Filling yourself up so that you aren’t looking to be filled by someone else. 

We all have big lives and sometimes we can end up putting ourselves at the bottom of the pile – and that doesn’t help anyone. 

Your way of being is the most attractive thing to a man (and everyone else). So make yourself a priority, so that you have light to give. 

#3 – Honor Your Word

If you want a man that will cherish, respect, and love you, then YOU must cherish you and respect you and love you. 

Honor your word. 

If you say you will go to bed at 10:00, go to bed at 10:00. 

If you say you’ll go to the gym at 7am, then get up and go to the gym at 7am. 

If you tell your kids that bedtime is 9pm, then put them to bed at 9pm. 

When you don’t honor your word, then others don’t know what they can count on your for. Worse than that, even YOU don’t know what you can count on yourself for. That breeds self-doubt,  and it’s all downhill from there. 

You will learn to not trust yourself, and you can’t trust a man if can’t trust yourself to choose the right man. 

Stop living your life based on your feelings, because your feelings change! Start living your life by your commitments, saying “this WILL be” and then making sure it is so. Do that, and see what changes!

You see, it really does begin with you. 

We may sound like a broken record, but it’s the absolute truth. 

I was talking to a client the other day who just got married!!! I was remembering one of our first conversations when we uncovered her belief that there was something wrong with her because she was in her 50’s and had never been married. She believed that it would have been better to have been divorced 3 times than to be her age and have never been in a long-term relationship. 

What a limiting belief! But can you relate? 

Once we uncovered that limiting belief and she did her HeartWork, she started showing up in the world differently. She was smiling again. She felt good! And she was no longer on a timeline. She knew that she deserved it and that it was on it’s way to her. 

She ended up attracting a man that she’d met decades before who came back into her life, and now they are happily married. 

It is possible if you just believe. 

So, if you really want to learn how you can start cherishing yourself and then attract the man that will cherish you forever then act NOW to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening this weekend!

Click here to grab your spot (only 2 left!)!

At this event, we’ll help you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for the love that your heart desires deeply,  and the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience it in 2020! 

There are only 2 spots left at this event, and we’d love one of them to be yours!

Remember:  It’s not just about getting a man to ask you out. It’s about BEing the irresistible woman that he decides he can’t live without. That’s when all your dreams will become a reality!

It’s Possible For You Too.

It’s Possible For You Too.

by | Dec 4, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, heartache, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

One of the pillars of what we teach –  something that’s absolutely fundamental to creating the passionate, intimate, connected, loving relationship that you desire – is having a crystal-clear vision of what you want. 

And we mean crystal-clear. Not just kinda-sorta knowing what you want. Not just having a list of expectations of what your man must have. And not just having it written it down, but still not really believing that you can have it. 

We’re talking about being able to see it, feel it, taste it, smell it, AND believe that it will happen. 

Without that level of clarity, you will settle for what you think you can get. 

We hear it from clients all the time, 

“What if this is the best I can do?” 

“What if I let this one go and have to wait another 10 years?!” 

“What if what I want is unrealistic?”

“What if it’s just not possible for me?”

I was talking with a client the other day who was telling me about the beautiful vision she has for love. It was a vision of fun and laughter and connection and joy. hen, in the middle of describing it to me, she stopped, and said, “I know, it sounds crazy. There’s no way this is possible. It’s too much” 

Was she asking for a man with 5 hands? No. 

Was she asking for a man that owned 5 islands? No. 

Was she asking for a man with 17 eyes. No.

Now, that is unrealistic (and a little absurd)! 

As we dug deeper, we discovered that a childhood (and lifetime) of feeling like there was never enough and that she was always asking for “too “was the reason she had this limiting belief. She realized what it was costing her to continue holding onto the belief that what she wanted was too much and not possible for her, and she decided that it was time to break through it NOW!

Desiring to have a relationship that is full of fun and laughter and connection and wonderful sex — none of that is too much. Everything about that is possible, AND it’s possible for you. 

Creating that vision and the reality of creating it comes from clarity.

Clarity asks the questions:

“What do I want to experience in the relationship of my dreams?” 

“What am I going to bring to the relationship so that I can experience that?”

“How can I BE the love that I want to see?” 

Clarity is not about knowing what qualities you want your man to have. It’s about knowing what you want to experience in the relationship of your dreams, and then BEing those things. 

BEing the respect you want to experience. 

BEing the love you want to receive. 

BEing the fun. 

BEing the passion. 

And what does BEing look like? 

Taking action. But not just any kind of action.

It means taking the kind of action that is aligned with your vision.

Having all the faith and clarity in the world will get you absolutely nowhere without taking action. 

A vision without action is nothing but a wish. And wishing is not a real strategy for getting what you want.

Which is why we want to invite you to our 2020 Love Vision  Workshop, happening in just a few days. We’l lbe walking you through a deep process to help you actually physically experience the clarity you are seeking. 

But it won’t stop there. 

You will walk away from the event, not just with a crystal-clear vision, but with a PLAN to carry it out. With the actual steps to make it a reality. 

Because it IS possible for you to create the love that you want in 2020. 

Click here to learn how to manifest the relationship you want.

And, in case you’re thinking that 2 days can’t make a difference in what’s possible for you for 2020, I want to share this with you:

Let’s go back to Christmas of 1998. I had just lost my husband in September, and I felt like I was walking through a fog. The holidays seemed so empty without him. I felt alone, and it was hard. 

Just one year later, Christmas 1999, I was in New York City but I wasn’t alone.  I was celebrating Christmas with Ric and both of our mothers. I’ll never forget when he brought out my gift (a beautiful purse) and was fussing about how he hoped I would like it. When I opened it up, I found a beautiful, custom-made engagement ring inside! We’d talked about getting married, so that part wasn’t a surprise. But to have it happen then, on Christmas Eve, with our moms there with us, I was elated!!

SO much can change in just one year. The difference between Christmas 1998 and Christmas 1999 was just one year, but it was day and night for me! 

Trust me when I say, everything you think can’t happen, but you dream might happen, CAN happen in just one year!

And it will, once you have the clarity and the action steps to create it. 

Click here to manifest the love you want in 2020!

How To Be Absolutely Irresistible To A Man.

How To Be Absolutely Irresistible To A Man.

by | Nov 15, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you know that girl that just seems to get all the guys? 

You know… that girlfriend that always seems to get people’s attention… no matter where she is?? 

What is it about her? 

What if we told you the secret to turning a man on? 

What if we gave you the tools that would have men not just BE attracted to you, but STAY attracted to you. 

What if we told you exactly how to have men ask you out on the spot? 

Keep reading, because what we’re about to share with you has had men turn around their cars around and PARK, or leave their seat in a restaurant  to ask a girl out in the parking lot! (True stories!).

See, there’s a limiting belief many women have that men only want one thing. (I’m sure you can guess what that one thing is.) 

But, guess what?! It’s not true!

Research shows that there is something that men want, something they notice right away in a woman, before they ever speak to her, and that is if she looks like she feels happy and confident. 

Men notice and are attracted to a woman’s eyes and her smile before anything else.. 

Why?

A woman’s’ eyes reveal whether or not she feels confident. 

Are you able to see a man you find attractive and make eye contact with him? 

Are you able to then hold that contact? 

If so, a man knows you are confident. 

A woman’s smile let’s a man know how she feels. Is she happy? Does she look like she can create her own happiness, and is she enjoying her life? 

Those two things are what turns a man on and makes him not only notice you, but want to do something about it. 

And, for those of you already in relationships, trust us when we tell you that your eyes and your smile STILL turn your boyfriend or husband on.

Doubt us? Try it! Smile at him and hold eye contact for 3-5 seconds as you do.  Then let us know how he responds! 😉

So what are the ways of BEing you can cultivate inside yourself so that your eyes shine with confidence and your smile radiates happiness? 

We call them the Irresistible Essences — your innate power to create that magical spark that naturally draws men (and everyone else, for that matter) to you. 

We use the word MAGICAL to help you remember what they are:

M – Mesmerizing

A – Authentic

G – Gracious

I – Inspiring

C – Confident 

A – Alluring

L – Love-able

Let’s dive in a bit deeper, shall we? 

BEing Mesmerizing looks like captivating a man’s attention and drawing him into you through your Way of BEing. It’s like casting a spell that has men notice and be  drawn to you. 

BEing Authentic means being YOURSELF. It’s knowing that you’re more than enough and showing up that way. Remember: He can’t fall (or stay) in love with you if you’re not even there! 

BEing Gracious is allowing yourself to receive and giving him the gift of being able to give to you. Some women really struggle with this one, because they’re so used to doing for themselves. It’s important to point out that receiving is NOT about being entitled or not being able to take care of yourself. It’s about graciously accepting that he’s invited you out and receiving that with grace and gratitude.. 

So, allow him to pay. Accept his compliments. And offer gratitude in return.  Let him know how much you appreciated the dinner, his company, and the date. 

BEing Inspiring means being a breath of happiness, love and fun. No one wants to swim in a pool of upset. So instead of making him feel obligated to be with you or required to do anything, inspire him to show up for you by the way you are when you’re around him.

BEing Confident looks like doing your own thing and creating your own happiness. It’s knowing that you’re enough without feeling as if you have to “prove” it. Remember: This is the #1 most attractive thing to a man. 

BEing Alluring is also a Way of BEing. It means being radiant, authentic, drawing people to you simply by being the amazing woman you are. 

BEing Love-Able means knowing deep down, for real, that you are both able to love and be loved by another. It looks like knowing you don’t have to withhold love or be afraid to receive it. 

So there you have it! The 7 ways of BEing, the Irresistible Essences, that turn a man on and attract him to want to get to know you and then want to stay with you!

If you want to dive into this even further so that you can create the relationship of your dreams NOW, then you will want to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening in just a few weeks!

Click here to learn more.

At this event, we’ll be helping you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for love that your heart desires deeply and the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience it in 2020! There are limited spots at this event and they are already filling up, so make sure to claim your spot now. 

Remember:  It’s not just about getting a man to ask you out. It’s about BEing the irresistible woman that he decides he can’t live without. That’s when all your dreams will become a reality!

Are You Missing Your Opportunity For Love?

Are You Missing Your Opportunity For Love?

by | Nov 6, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Gratitude, heartache, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have “high standards” or “unrealistic expectations?”

Just think about that for a minute…. 

This is a HOT topic that we get asked questions about all the time because it can be confusing. We can trick ourselves into thinking we have high standards, when what we really have are unrealistic expectations that are leading to missed opportunities, heartache in relationships, and unnecessary drama. 

And men don’t like drama! 😉 

So… what’s the difference?

And how can you be sure you know where you are coming from? 

Standards

Standards are aligned with your values. They are based on your beliefs, they are good for your life, and protect you from unnecessary harm and heartache. 

Having standards in dating looks like not dating someone that does drugs or is addicted to alcohol. It also looks like dating someone who has integrity and does what he says he’ll do.

Standards come from inside of you. 

Expectations

Expectations are things that you are “requiring” from someone else and are usually based on a “list” of criteria that you think a person should meet. They are preferences. 

Expectations in dating looks like not dating someone who hasn’t gotten a college education or who doesn’t happen to be an entrepreneur. It looks like not dating someone who has/hasn’t been married before or who does/doesn’t already have kids. It also looks like not dating someone who’s an introvert or who isn’t over 6 feet tall. 

In relationships, it looks like not appreciating the things your man does for you or always making him feel like he has to be a certain way. It looks like expecting your man to love you no matter how you behave, even when you’. 

Expectations are something you’re looking for out there. They have nothing to do with who a person actually is, and everything to do with what you’ve made up about what certain things mean about them. 

Expectations come from fear.

They come from what we saw as a child, what we’ve experienced in other relationships, or from an irrational or imagined fear. 

So, think about it again… in your relationships, and dating are you coming from a set of standards or are you coming from a set of expectations?

How is that affecting your experience of love and relationships?

What is it costing you to have those unrealistic expectations of others?

What are you afraid is/isn’t going to happen if you don’t stick to your expectations? 

We get it. We have both experienced this on both sides of the equation. 

When Michelle was dating after her divorce, she was desperately trying to prove that there was nothing wrong with her. She’d experienced a lot of hurt in her past relationship and wasn’t going to go there again. So, she set expectations. He had to be older, he had to be established in his career, and he also had to be divorced with kids so he’d understand how she felt. 

She set these expectations thinking she was just doing what was best for herself, but she was protecting and not allowing herself to actually  be and get to know the men she was with, which led to a terrible dating experience! 

If she’d stayed committed to those preferences, she would have missed out on being married to the amazing man she’s married to today, because he – who was younger, was in transition between careers, had never been married, or had kids – wouldn’t have even shown up on her radar, because he didn’t meet all of those requirements.  

For me, I remember experiencing this in my marriage. By thinking that my way was the right way, I was constantly making my husband feel like he wasn’t enough. And, while the words, “You’re not enough” NEVER came out of my mouth and I truly thought I was communicating well and just trying to make him better,  it left him feeling unhappy, unsure of himself, and disrespected. 

It makes me emotional just thinking about how I made the man that I love more than anything, and who  I promised to love no matter what, feel any of those things. 

Now, what about you?

What are you currently experiencing in dating and in your relationships? And what do you WANT to experience?

If through reading, you’ve realized that maybe you’re coming more from expectations, it’s okay! You just need to look at that and ask yourself what’s the fear underneath it all that is stopping you from having the experience you want in relationships.

Because once you get to the bottom of the fear, you can start to build up from there. 

During our Love Chat with the Love Twins this week, one of our past clients said this :

“Please listen to the Love Twins! Once I got rid of the superficial requirements for a man…like height, hair and even education!! I concentrated on how do i feel… and I found a man who treats me like a Queen. Thank you Gladys and Michelle your HeartWork… it works!”

We want you to experience the relationship of your dreams. To wake up every morning next to the person you love and who loves you in return.

Don’t let your expectations keep you from having that. Because the person you end up with might surprise you and that surprise will be the best gift you give yourself, IF you allow it to be!

(photo credit: https://onlineforlove.com/)