15 years ago today, I had no idea just how drastically my life was about to change!
It had been just under a year since my first husband had passed away, and I was beginning to feel like myself again. I had lost weight, started a new job, cut my waist-length hair into a short, curly bob, and was about to release my first solo single – a song I had written for my late husband.
A few nights earlier, after having been stood up by an emotionally unavailable guy who I had been heavily pursuing (yuck!), my friend and I went out dancing. I had a blast that night, dancing reggae, flirting, and feeling, not like “a widow,” but like a woman – something I hadn’t felt in a long time.
A really cute guy I’d noticed when I walked into the club came up and started talking to me just as I was getting ready to leave. I almost blew him off because I thought he was too young for me, but my friend commanded me to walk back over and talk to him because she hadn’t seen me smiling that way in over a year (so glad she did!).
We danced, he asked me for my number and called me the next day, when he got off of work. We spoke on the phone for 7 hours that night and he asked me out for the following night.
I can honestly say that I didn’t have any expectations for that evening. I was just excited to be going out on a date, having fun, laughing and feeling alive again.
I believe whole-heartedly that it was this lack of expectation and just being open to having fun that led to me having one of the most romantic and unforgettable evenings of my life.
A few hours into the date, he asked me if he could kiss me. Why did he ask? Because I’d given him the run-down the night before of all of my “rules”: no kissing on the first date, no sex before marriage, what religion he’d have to be, etc. – something I now know could have completely ruined my chances of ever getting to know him, simply because I was so afraid of getting hurt. Honestly, it’s a miracle he even asked me out on a first date!
I don’t know why, but when he asked if he could kiss me, I said, “Yes,” and I’m so glad I did, because that kiss literally took my breath away (I actually had to sit down!), and, 15 years later, I’m still waiting to exhale! (Yes, I still get butterflies when he kisses me today!)
The spot where we shared our first kiss!
15 years of loving and being loved by the same person is a pretty big deal! We’ve been through a lot during these years – ups, downs, and everything in between – but thanks to the skills I practice and teach, we’re still here, and our love is stronger than ever!
On Monday we’ll be celebrating 14 years of marriage, and I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to know without a shadow of a doubt that you are loved – not because you did anything to earn or deserve it, but because the other person simply chooses to love and accept you for who you are, exactly the way you are!
This is the kind of love I know every woman on this planet can experience.
This is the kind of love I have dedicated my life to helping women attract, create, and nurture.
This is the kind of love YOU can have, too!
No matter where you are right now in your love life – single and hoping to attract the man of your dreams, a romance that is just getting started, or in relationship that feels like it’s falling apart – know that you can have and are worthy of experiencing love every day, for the rest of your life.
Does it take work to have this type of relationship? Yes, it does.
Does it take knowing the skills that help you create love, passion, and intimacy that lasts? Yes, it does.
Can I help you learn these skills? Yes, I can!
It’s my mission, my passion, and my obsession in life to teach women around the world how to begin experiencing the lifetime of love their hearts desired, and I’d love to do the same for you!
If you’re ready to begin doing the work, making the changes that need to be made, and finally experiencing the love of a lifetime, contact me to set up a Ready for Love Session, and let’s get started right away!
The clock’s ticking, life is happening, and your love-of-a-lifetime is waiting for you!
This morning, one of my first thoughts was about YOU! Why?
See, today is July 7th, and it’s sort of my Independence Day.
Three years ago today I received a phone call that I had been dreading for years. My boss called me with someone from the HR Department on the line to let me know that they were eliminating my position. I wish I could tell you that I was the picture of grace and ease on that phone all, and I’d be lying to you if I said that. I was a mess! I was crying, begging, and pleading. I was trying to explain to them how my family really relied on my income, and it didn’t make a difference. They were simply eliminating my position.
What does any of this have to do with YOU?
Watch the video below to see how YOU became part of turning what I thought was going to be a nightmare into a series of dreams-come-true! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxgw-7mEnN4
It wasn’t until several months later that I was able to see something that I hadn’t been able to see before. I was driving in my car, on my way to a woman’s business conference where I was speaking to women about how having a really great relationship requires us to be willing to take even bigger risks than the ones we take in our businesses, because we’re taking emotional risks. As I was practicing my talk, it was like one of those moments in a movie, where a ray of light comes and I was able to see what I couldn’t see before. That was that , on that conversation with my boss, where they had told me that they were eliminating my position, they actually had offered me another position. It was a position where I would be making the same amount of money that I had been making before, but I was going to be to traveling 80% of the time. I simply wasn’t willing to settle for that. I simply wasn’t willing to make that type of sacrifice.
Where all these months I had been saying that I’d “lost my job,” I saw in that moment that I had said, “No, thank you,” that I had walked away. I had claimed my independence from that job!
I also saw how it was in the weeks and months after that time, that I would share with people that I had lost my job, and they would say things like, “That’s Great! Now you can focus full-time on Heart’s Desire,” “Now you can do relationship coaching full-time,” “Now you can finish your book!”
And, every time somebody said that, I’d get so angry! (Even my kids were saying this!) But, you know, you’ve got to look at the signs in your life, and if enough people are saying the same thing, you might want to listen!
So I started to listen and I started to wonder, “What if I could really make this my career?” I had been saying for years that I wanted to do relationship coaching full-time but I couldn’tbecause of my job. I’d said it enough times, that God and the Universe heard me!
So I started to wonder, “What if I could do it?”
I started thinking of all of the women who I had worked with when I was doing this on the side, how they’d come to me hopeless, thinking that they were never going to be in a loving relationship or that they were going to be unhappy forever in their current relationships, and now they were living in the relationship of their dreams! If they were married, they weren’t just “happily married.” They were blissfully married to their husbands.
And I really started to believe that I could do this full-time.
And that’s where YOU came in! That’s why I thought of YOU this morning!
Because YOU – and, yes, I’m talking specifically to YOU – you’re part of my mission to have every single woman on this planet experience the joy of loving and being loved every single day of your life!
You’re what gets me up in the morning. You’re what I go to bed thinking about at night. It’s what I pray for. You’re what I work for when I don’t feel like going on anymore, because I’m tired! It’s knowing that this is my passion – that this my purpose – that keeps me going.
So, I just wanted to say, “Thank you!”
Thank you for being part of my purpose-filled life.
I also wanted to let you know that I have3 spots left in my VIP Coaching Program. This is a high-intensity program, where you work with me 1-on-1, and the whole purpose of the program is to take you from wherever you are – whether you are single or in a relationship – to where you want to be in your love life!
We take a look at your goals. We look to see what is it that has been stopping you from experiencing that level of love? What is it that has been blocking love from either coming into your life or manifesting daily? Then we create a plan and we work on it together.
So, in just a few months, you can be telling people about how your dream became a reality.
If that’s something that interests you, go ahead and click on the link below, schedule a Ready for LoveSession with me. We’ll see if this program is a good fit for you, and, if it is, we’ll get started right away on taking you in the direction of your dreams and making your heart’s desires a reality!
Thanks again for being part of my life. Thanks for letting me make a difference in yours, and until our hearts meet again, always remember that you are loved!
P.S. I settled for a long time in my previous job, afraid that I wouldn’t be able to make my dreams a reality. Don’t settle for anything less than extraordinary love. You don’t have to. I’m here to help you manifest it!
Just contact me to schedule a Ready for Love session, and we’ll get you started on the path to making your relationship dreams a reality!
This weekend we celebrated Independence Day in the United States. While I’m always grateful to live in this country, on July 4th in particular I am present to how incredibly blessed I am to have the freedom and opportunities available to me!
One of the truths about freedom is that it’s never “free.” Freedom comes with a price. There are millions of men throughout history who have fought for, stood for, and given their lives so that I could enjoy the freedom I have today to create the life my heart desires.
The same holds true when it comes to you and your life. Whether or not you live in the U.S., you actually have the power to break free from the past and create a new future where you are able to experience the love and joy your heart desires! But that freedom also comes with a price.
To create the type relationship your heart truly desires, you have to be willing to let go of a few things.
You have to let go of the stories you have been telling yourself about you not being worthy or deserving enough to experience that type of love.
You have to let go of the resentment, regrets, and anger that you’ve been holding onto and have kept you bound to your past.
You have to let go of fearand be courageous enough to trust and open your heart to love once again.
Once you let go of those things that have been holding you back, keeping you stuck, and blocking you from attracting and experiencing the type of love you want,there is FREEDOM on the other side!
Freedom from pain.
Freedom from fear.
Freedom from a past that no longer serves you!
So, if you are in a place in your life right now where you feel held back, held down, and unable to move forward, I invite you to LET GO and embrace the love, happiness, and freedom that are already waiting for you!
And we’ll be there to welcome you on the other side!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
This is a completely different subject but still in the line of ultimatums. My boyfriend watched porn before we got together but we agreed he’d stop for us to be together, so he threw his CDs away. 7 months later, I found one of the “thrown away” CDs out after I came home from visiting family in a different state. He broke it and promised not to do it again. But since then, I’ve found out he’s still watching it because it was on the history (and we only have an 18mo old and one on the way, so no other adults in the house). He started deleting the history and promised once again he would not watch it because he wants us to stay together and he loves his family. Finally, today I found out he watched another one and deleted it (it had a time stamp on the computer) the other day when I went to get my haircut and our son was taking a nap.
So how do I let him know that I’m finished with his porn addiction? He needs to stop or we are gone. I love him and I know he loves us…but I can’t keep putting negative thoughts into my head when it’s not about me.
I know that this can be a very sensitive topic, so I appreciate you reaching out to write about it. I can hear that you are feeling very frustrated and unsure about what to do.
People have different opinions regarding porn, and it’s clear that yours is that you don’t like it, agree with it, or want anything to do with it. Apparently, your boyfriend feels differently. He enjoys watching porn, and was doing so before getting together with you, so it’s important that you realize that his choice has nothing to do with you.
You continue looking for evidence, catching him, and telling him he has to stop. He continues to promise you that he won’t watch it anymore because he loves you, and, therefore, doesn’t want you to be upset and he wants to try to make you happy. This cycle will probably continue for as long as you continue to try to get him to stop.
The fact is that he is a grown man, and, whether or not this is a true addiction or simply something that he enjoys, telling him what he can or cannot do is something that may be okay when it comes to your 18-month-old, but not for an adult man.
In fact, the more you try to control him by telling him what he can and cannot do, the more likely he is to want to do it.
As you read in the other article, ultimatums rarely work, especially when it comes to relationships. So threatening him to leave and take your children with you may get him to stop — perhaps temporarily — but it will most likely impact the love and intimacy in your relationship because (1) you’re threatening to take your children away, and (2) you’re treating him like a child, rather than the man who is the father of your child.
Telling him what to do hasn’t worked, and threatening him hasn’t and probably won’t work. The only way he is going to stop watching porn is if he chooses to stop of his own free will.
True change only ever “sticks” when it comes from within.
So, what are your options?
Well, you say that you love him and you know he loves you. The fact that you know this tells me that he’s probably a good man and father. It also tells me that you probably don’t want to leave him. So, before you threaten to leave and take your children with you, you want to make sure that you are willing to go through with it, should he choose to continue watching porn.
Another option is letting him know that you do not want pornography in the house. By expressing your desire in this manner, you are making it about you and what you want – or, in this case what you don’t want – rather than what you want him to do or not do. This doesn’t mean that he will stop, but at least you will have expressed yourself in a respectful manner.
You can also accept that this is something that he enjoys watching, acknowledge that it has nothing to do with you or how he feels about you, and let it go. I know it probably won’t be easy, given your feelings about it. However, it is possible to respect him and his choices without agreeing with them.
If you do choose to leave and take your children with you, it’s important that you not make your choice to leave about him not wanting to stop watching porn. Instead, own your choice and make it about you not being willing or able to accept it. That way, you can be empowered in making your choice, rather than seeing yourself as a victim of his.
As I said, I know this is a sensitive topic, and you may have additional questions, so, if you’d like to talk about it some more, feel free to contact me and we’ll schedule a time to talk so that I can offer further support!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
If you’ve ever had your heart broken, you know how difficult it can be to find the courage to move on. One of the things that can make moving forward difficult is when you still have feelings for the other person. Memories can be tricky beasts, especially when you’re feeling lonely. Memories can remind you of all of the great moments and make you forget the reasons why the relationship ended in the first place. And loneliness can make you think that being in that relationship is better than being alone.
These thoughts and feelings can make you believe that maybe you’re not ready to move on.
How could you possibly open your heart to someone else if you still have feelings for your previous love?
Shouldn’t you wait until you no longer have any feelings for that person before beginning to date someone else?
When I lost my first husband, I honestly did not believe I would be able to love anyone ever again. I just could not imagine ever being “over” him. There wasn’t any reason for me to stop loving him, and, what’s more, I didn’t want to have to stop loving him!
When I met Ric, there was a moment where I wondered if it would be fair to him for me to continue dating him, knowing that I still loved and missed my late husband very much. Would I be leading him on? Would it be fair to him or myself to even explore the possibility of dating and getting to know one another?
When my sister, Michelle, ended the on-again-off-again dating pattern she had with Arnie, she knew she wasn’t willing to wait for him to make up his mind about whether or not he wanted to be in a relationship. She asked herself the same questions: Should I wait until I’m over him before dating someone else?
Thankfully, neither one of us chose to stop loving the man we loved before opening our hearts to someone else. In my case, it lead to experiencing 15 years of more love and happiness than I ever dreamed was possible!
For Michelle, it led to her meeting and dating another wonderful man. And when Arnie came back to her, asking her to give him another chance, she then had a choice regarding who she was going to choose to love, and she’s now married to Arnie and living in the relationship of her dreams!
Even if you still love someone else, putting your life on hold until you feel you’re over him only serves to keep you stuck right where you are.
Now, do I believe you should take some time to grieve the loss of the relationship? Yes, of course. You want to acknowledge your feelings for that person and grieve the loss of the relationship. But what you don’t want to do is keep putting your life on hold until you are completely over him!
Because, even though you may still love him, you need to love yourself even more!
Loving yourself more means that you can give yourself permission to continue loving and missing him while also giving yourself permission to open your heart to new love!
Trying to resist or ignore your feelings is only going to intensify them. Hence, the saying: What you resist persists.
So, rather than pretending you don’t love and miss him, you can acknowledge that you do and that you also love yourself enough to know that you deserve to be in a happy and fulfilling relationship with someone who loves you, too!
Once you allow yourself to feel what is there, then you can begin opening up to the possibility of meeting that someone new who will reciprocate your love and create a the type of loving relationship your heart truly desires.
And you can do it guilt-free because you’re not hiding your feelings from yourself.
As you meet and get to know new men, you’ll have new experiences, new moments of joy, new moments of feeling loved and cherished, and you may find that the feelings for your previous love getting less intense. And, while they may not disappear completely, it’s okay.
Your heart has an unlimited capacity to love. The more you expand it, the more love you are able to feel, experience, give, and receive.
So, if you’ve been putting your life and happiness on hold, waiting for your feelings for a previous love to disappear, grant yourself permission to continue loving him, and then choose to love yourself even more so that you can graciously welcome new and extraordinary love into your life!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
We’re sure that by this time today, your Inbox, Facebook, and Twitter feeds are overflowing with “Happy Valentine’s Day” messages! Well, here’s one more!
For those of us in happy, loving relationships, today is a special day! We get to celebrate the love we share with the man we’ve chosen to share our lives and hearts with!
For those who are not in a loving relationship, however, it can be a pretty rotten day. All weekend long (and, here in the U.S., it’s a long weekend), you’re sure to be surrounded by hearts, balloons, proposal announcements, and reminders of everyone else’s love and happiness.
If you were on last night’s “Ready to Love Again” webinar (make sure you check out the replay below!), you heard Michelle and me share our personal stories of heartache. Spending any holiday alone can be painful, but this one’s especially difficult.
I remember the first Valentine’s Day after my husband died. All I wanted to do was crawl under a rock and just block out all of the reminders of love and joy that were around me. Everything I saw was a reminder of the love I’d lost and how broken my heart felt. I felt a little guilty about it, but I couldn’t help it. I was alone. I was devastated. And it sucked!
So, if you are feeling angry, sad, or resentful today, we want you to know that it’s understandable. This doesn’t make you a “bad” person. It just means you’re feeling sad and lonely. It’s okay.
Now, this doesn’t mean we want you wrap yourself up in a bitter, depressed Snuggy blanket! The feelings you’re feeling are real and valid. But we also want you to know that you don’t have to stay in that space. You don’t have to stay alone. You can choose to heal your heart and invite love back into your life!
On last night’s webinar, women from all over the world learned why heartache feelsreal, why it can be difficult to let go of it, and what they could do to begin to move on. There was healing, love, and transformation present on that call, and we are so excited for the women who accepted the invitation we gave at the end of the presentation and are now on their path to healing andfreedom from the past! We’re excited because we know about the miracles they are about to experience. We know, because we’ve experienced them first-hand in our own lives and in the lives of the women who we’ve coached and worked with over the years.
All we can say is this:Expect miracles, ladies! Your life, as you know it, will never be the same!
For those of you who were unable to join us on the call, we want you to have an opportunity to experience the same type of healing as these ladies, so we’re giving you access to the webinar replay and a chance at receiving the special “Valentine’s Days” prize we offered last night.
Now, here’s the deal:
If you want something to change, then something has to change. And right now, that something is YOU!
Too many times we allow opportunities to slip right through our hands because we’re too proud, too scared, or too committed to staying stuck in the muck of our lives to draw a line in the sand and say, “This is it! The pain, sadness and loneliness end here and now!”
We’re giving you that opportunity to do that today – to listen to the webinar and make this Valentine’s Day the LAST ONE you spend single and alone!
If you’re not single, but you still feel alone inside of your marriage or relationship, contact us now! I’m not kidding. What in the world are you waiting for?
It’s not going to get better on its own. Things didn’t “just happen” to get bad in your relationship. It happened over time. The love, passion, and romance you once shared were slowly replaced by resentment, regret, and resignation.
But you can turn your relationship around!
And, yes, it is going to take some time, commitment, and the willingness to make changes if you want to transform your relationship back into a loving, peaceful, intimate romance!
This is your life. It’s your choice. And we’re here to offer you the support, tools, and encouragement you need to finally be happy and have the love your heart desires! And while we know we can help, we can’t want it more than you do. You’ve got to want it more!
So, if you’re single, click below to listen to the “Ready to Love Again” webinar and take the first step toward inviting love back into your life.
And if you’re not single, but you are feeling lonely inside of your relationship,contact us and take the first step toward restoring the love and intimacy in your relationship TODAY!
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