How to Listen to Actually Hear Your Partners

How to Listen to Actually Hear Your Partners

by | Aug 17, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance

by Gladys Diaz 

Let’s talk about listening. 

It’s been said that listening is 50% of the communication process.

Well, we think differently! 

Listening is 100% of communication because, if you’re not actively listening, you’re not really having a conversation.

If you’re not listening you’re having a monologue, instead of a dialogue, and that isn’t really a conversation, now, is it?

We’re talking about not just listening, but really hearing what the other person is saying. 

Have you ever had this experience of listening vs. hearing? 

Think about a clock that ticks in your house. Probably, most of the time you don’t even notice the ticking, or you might hear it and it doesn’t really affect you. Now think about how you feel when you tune into it and all of the sudden the ticking becomes 10 times louder and drives you absolutely crazy! 

It’s maddening right?!

Kind of a silly example, but do you see the difference between listening and actually hearing? 

Hearing involves attention and presence, and is so very important in dating and relationships.  

If you’re dating, you’re aiming to get to know people well enough to know if you want to keep getting to know them. How do you do that if you’re not listening well? 

Really listening can help you catch key things you may otherwise have missed that can cause you to either want to get to know someone better, or save you lots of heartache and wasted time in the long run. 

If you’re in a relationship, one of the most loving things you can do for your partner is to simply listen without saying a word. 

How often do you do that?

We get it,.   It’s not always easy. As mothers and wives we get how easy it is to give in to the desire to say something from a desire to support and help the other person. 

However, when someone feels heard, they feel acknowledged, loved, cared for, seen, known and understood. 

And those are beautiful gifts to receive!

So, how do you listen so you actually hear the other person? 

It starts with being in control of the voice in your head. You know, the voice that is constantly thinking about, judging and placing opinions on everything you hear. 

That voice that just asked if you have one of those voices… Yep, that’s the one!

Acknowledge you have that voice so you can start turning the volume down on it and really listening when others are talking. 

The next step is to be an active listener. 

What does that mean? 

Engage with the conversation. Ask questions and seek to understand. Refrain from interrupting and interjecting your own thoughts and opinions, but let the other person know you’re listening by showing you’re invested in the conversation. 

You can also say periodically things like, “I want to make sure I’m hearing you….” or “What I’m hearing you say is…” so that you can make sure you are understanding what they are trying to communicate. 

The experience on the receiving end of these questions is one of “Wow! She really cares about me and wants to make sure she understands me!” 

If you want to show a lot of courage, you could also ask at the end of a conversation how the other person felt about your listening. And then listen for the feedback of what the other person’s experience was. 

You can become a better listener just by asking for feedback along the way!

In communication, the words you say, how you say them, and how you listen are the keys to making a difference for people in your life.
 These tools work across the board. How would your relationships in all walks of life — work, family, friendships —  benefit from better listening? 

If you’d like some support with recognizing the blocks in your own listening patterns, that’s what we’re here for! We know the tools of communication that work in relationships — AND the ones that don’t — so that you can experience greater levels of love, trust and intimacy with those you love and care about. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Think of the number of people in your life who are important to you and how communicating better would make a difference for them. Think about how this could transform the communication and connection in your relationships.

It’s a complete game changer when you know how to use the tools! We want you to go out in your life and have beautiful conversations that make a difference for you and the person you love!

Do You Believe Love Can Be Easy?

Do You Believe Love Can Be Easy?

by | Aug 13, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, Intimacy, Love, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

Believing you can have the love you desire is the key to creating the relationship of your dreams. 

Do you really  believe it’s possible for you? 

Your answer is probably yes. 

But, here’s the kicker.: Your brain is getting in the way. 

Whether it’s been years since your last relationship, or you’re in one right now,  if you’re struggling to know how to make it work the way you want it to, there’s a belief that’s getting in the way. 

Everything we believe is given by something that happened in our past. 

Things happen. Promises are broken, something unexpected happens, people change, partners die… and we start to wonder: Can I really have the love I want?

No matter what your relationship status, ask yourself this: What is getting in the way of me having the relationship I really want?

The first thing to pay attention to is what you’re thinking in the little moments. 

What’s the very first thing that comes to your mind when someone says you’re beautiful? 

When he doesn’t call after a date? 

When he’s 10 minutes late to pick you up? 

When your boss calls you in for a meeting?

The reason it’s important to pay attention to those thoughts is because those thoughts are the ones running the show. 

They’re creating your “reality.” 

Even if you say you know you can have the relationship you really want, but you don’t fully believe it, you won’t be able to create it. 

You will always listen to your beliefs over your thoughts or words. 

So, what’s running your show? 

What are your dominant thoughts focused on? 

Do you think you can’t trust him? That relationships never last? 

Do you feel like relationships are too hard, or that a great relationship is never going to happen for you? 

These thoughts were created before you had your first kiss or your first crush. 

And that’s why it’s important to get to the root beliefs under those thoughts, so that you can dig them up and replace them with beliefs that will serve you. 

It’s like when I’m pulling those pesky weeds out of my yard. If I don’t pull them all the way out, including the roots, they will just grow back! But if I pull them  out,  roots and all, they will be gone for good. 

It’s the same with our beliefs. 

When you get to the root of the belief that’s tainting your reality, then, and only then, can you replace it by planting new experiences which create new beliefs that are just as strong and deeply rooted as the old belief. 

Those pesky beliefs that cause you to run the same patterns in your life cause disappointing experiences. Enough disappointment leads to apathy and more disempowering beliefs, and the tug-of-war in your life goes on and on! 

The conversation you’re having in your head is what’s keeping you stuck exactly where you are. 

If you’re done suffering and are tired of having a hard time in relationships, let us help you! 

Relationships are joyful, fun, exciting, adventurous, intimate and happy! Let us help you uncover what’s making it seem so hard. Because it doesn’t have to be. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

If what you really, truly believe isn’t giving you what you want, let’s talk. It can be easy!

How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

by | Jul 17, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

How deep is your connection with the people you’re in relationship with? 

Do you feel like you can be open, intimate and close with others, or do you feel like your relationships are superficial and shallow? 

As human beings, we long for connection with other people, but not just any connection. We crave deep intimacy. Relationships where we can speak freely and share our souls. 

The thing is, the depth you’ll be able to go with someone else can only be as deep as the depth you’re able to go with yourself.

If you’re able to connect with yourself on a deep level, you’ll be able to connect deeply with others and create the fulfilling, connected, deep relationship you desire. 

So what if you can’t? What if you feel stuck in a pattern that’s not working? 

A client of ours was feeling frustrated because, for the third time in a row she’d created a committed relationship with a man, only to then find out something about his character that she wasn’t okay with.

She was frustrated because she was wondering why she wasn’t seeing the things she needed to see in a man before allowing herself to fall in love and become attached to him. 

She wanted to heal whatever was underneath this pattern so she could 1) stop having to deal with the heartbreak of walking away from men she loved who weren’t what she wanted, and 2) so she could finally create a deep relationship with the right man. 

She was experiencing this because there was something within her that needed healing and she was attracting that in those she was dating. 

So how do you heal what’s getting in the way of the love you want? 

First, you must get some insight. Look into your experience of you. 

Now is the time to get real with yourself. Answer these questions, honestly: 

Are your actions out of alignment with your beliefs and values? 

Do you have a hard time setting healthy boundaries?

Do you waver on your word or struggle having integrity with what you say?

Do you avoid certain people, situations or conversations? 

Do you try to change who you are to appease others? 

Do you have a hard time trusting others?

Do you walk around in a state of protection? Always feeling that you’re unsafe?

Do you push people away before they can get close?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you most likely are disconnected in some area of your life, which will cause you to feel disconnected in areas of your relationships.

Look closely at your answers. 

Why do you behave the way you do? Where does it come from? 

If you’re in a relationship with someone right now and it feels like something is missing, look at it. Where is the connection missing? Get curious about it.

Open up in new ways to your partner. Look at what’s missing where you are and see what you can do to transform that barrier within yourself that will inspire change in the relationship. 

Once you’ve looked inward and seen where the breakdown is coming, from then you can heal it. 

You don’t overcome barriers. You heal them. 

You get to the source of where they came from — the moment you decided you couldn’t trust yourself, or whatever it is for you — and you do the Heartwork to heal it.

Now hear this:  You are not broken. Your heart may be broken, but you are not.
There may be a piece of you that is broken off, and that’s what you want to heal. 

Doing the Heartwork is about healing and bringing that piece back. 

Would you like support in healing the wounds you have?

Do you want to restore trust in yourself and others, have faith in love, let go of fears from the past and step into the relationship you desire – with yourself and others?

If so, we’d love to talk to you! Sometimes it takes someone else’s insight to see where we;re  blocked, and to learn how to do the work to heal it. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

When you heal, then you can be brave in life and love, because you’re open and ready to connect deeply and authentically within yourself and with others in relationship.

How to Communicate so He Can Actually Hear You

How to Communicate so He Can Actually Hear You

by | Jul 10, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

What do your conversations with your partner look and feel like? 

When you share what you want or feel with your partner, do you think you’re communicating effectively, but he n gets defensive or doesn’t understand what you’re really trying to say? 

Do you want to know how to communicate what you want and feel in a way that your partner can receive and hear it? 

Sometimes, learning how to communicate effectively in relationships can feel like you’re learning a whole new language. This is because we’ve been conditioned that “being honest” or “sharing how we feel” means we have to complain or say what we want in an ineffective way. 

For example, let’s say you feel like your partner doesn’t do enough around the house. You say things like, “It’d be nice if I could get some help around here!” or “I never get any help!” or “I always have to do everything myself.” 

And then… he doesn’t do anything different. 

You’re confused, because you think you expressed your needs and hoping your partner will feel motivated and inspired to help. 

But he isn’t.

This was going on in my relationship with Ric years ago, and it was frustrating! 

I felt like I was asking for help, but nothing was changing in his behavior. 

Why wasn’t he responding the way I wanted him to?!

The answer is because I wasn’t communicating effectively.  

One day I said distinctly, “I need help.” 

What was his response? 

“What do you need help with?” 

I honestly didn’t know what to say, because it never occurred to me that it could be that easy. 

No nagging… no complaining… just “I need help!”

And then he offered  to take on a few of the things I didn’t feel I could do alone. 

Wow! 

I got the result I wanted simply from changing the way I was communicating and being distinct and clear about what I wanted.

He wanted to help me, he just needed to be able to hear what I was saying without the “static” of complaints, reasons, and justifications for it. . 

When communicating what you want with your partner, make sure you use short, distinct comments that clearly state what you want. 

“I want to go for a walk.” 

“I’m disappointed because I was looking forward to seeing you.” 

“I don’t want to do these dishes right now.” 

Clearly stating what you want allows the other person to hear you. 

It really is that simple. 

Another important part of communicating effectively in a relationship is making sure your intention for the conversation is clear and that you let go of any attachment to how the other person may respond. 

Intention is the umbrella under which the conversation happens, and it’s the compass that guides it. 

Your reason for communicating can’t be about trying to get the other person to do or say something. It has to be 100% about saying what you want to say in order to stay in alignment with what is true for you, regardless of how he may react.

Be very careful with this ,because your ego will try and get in the way. 

Be honest with yourself and make sure your emotions are in a place where your pure intention is  to create what you want — love, peace and connection vs being right or getting an apology. 

If you’re not clear about what you want to say and why, postpone the conversation until you are. 

Ineffective communication is the #1 breakdown in relationships, and mastering how you can create the kind of relationship you want to create is the key to success. If you’d like support in seeing how you can create more clarity and impact through your communication, book a call with us now!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Having clarity of intention, making sure your emotions are clear prior to the conversation, knowing what you want and don’t want, and letting go of attachment are the keys to having meaningful conversations that create deeper intimacy, connection and love in a relationship. 

Let us support you!

Is He Lacking Integrity? Are You?

Is He Lacking Integrity? Are You?

by | Jul 7, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

What is your definition of integrity? 

The universal answers that probably come to mind are,”Being honest,” or “Doing the right thing when nobody’s watching.”

Here’s our definition:“Honoring your word to the same level that you honor yourself.” 

This looks like following through with the things you say you’ll do – both to yourself and to others. 

This looks like honoring your personal thoughts and beliefs. 

This looks like knowing what you want and not settling for less. 

There was a time in my life when I didn’t really think about integrity. It just wasn’t something that mattered to me. I thought that being ten minutes late was still being on time. I justified my behavior and figured that if I didn’t follow through on things, people would understand. 

The thing is, I had no idea what I was doing to myself subconsciously.

The fact is, I was destroying my confidence regarding what I deserved. I was destroying the level of belief I had in myself about what I could create and accomplish.

Every time I took a job that paid less than what I wanted, I was diminishing  my personal integrity. 

Every time I called a guy I liked after I’d promised myself I’d wait to hear from him. I was showing that I didn’t believe I was worth being honest to. 

Every time I didn’t stick to a diet or exercise plan ,I was lowering my ability to trust myself.

I didn’t see that what I said mattered. 

The problem with this is that you can’t create a powerful life if you can’t trust yourself.

Every time I lowered my integrity, my life got more chaotic. 

And, finally I had a powerful wake-up call. 

“What if I started living my life by what I say matters?”

Guess what happened?

Well, when it comes to dating,I stopped tolerating certain things. If a guy said he’d call at a certain time and he didn’t, I noticed. If he did it time and time again I would choose to let him go. 

I stopped dating men that were separated, but still married. 

I raised my standards and stopped dating men who lied, did marijuana, and had lower standards than me. 

By raising my standards, I raised my awareness.

I realized that I could choose, and I started to choose differently. 

I started dating men who cared about integrity, too, and that made all the difference.

What if you were living your life like what you say matters? What might change?  

The #1 thing that improves self confidence is following through with the things you say you’ll do – both to others AND to yourself. 

Even the little things!

You can’t attract what you don’t create. You must start with yourself and have a look at your own level of integrity. 

When it comes to dating, you get to choose what you tolerate in a relationship – you get to decide!

We get it, sometimes emotions and attraction take over and we make concessions and accept behavior we don’t like. 

That’s why you need to be aware and awake.

Does he show up late or cancel 50% of the time? 

Does he treat you well both publicly and privately? 

Are you tolerating something you don’t want to have in a relationship?

These are just the beginning of the questions you can ask yourself to make sure you are creating or in the kind of  relationship you’d like to be in. 

And, if it appears that you’re in a relationship that lacks respect and integrity – look at yourself first. Be honest with yourself about whether or not you are respecting and being in integrity with yourself.

Don’t waste time and energy on things that don’t matter. Let him go.

Choose what you’ll tolerate.

Believe that you’re available to men who have and demonstrate integrity. 

There’s power in that.

If you’d like support diving into the questions that will bring you what you really desire in a relationship and what you may be tolerating to light, we’d love to speak with you!

Let us be the powerful wake-up call that supports you in creating the love and mutually respectful relationship you really want!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Creating the life and relationship you want is always an internal job. If you’re attracting or in relationship with men that lie, don’t follow-through, or lack integrity in some other way – it’s time to take a look inward. We’re here to help you course-correct that so that you can experience the love and happiness your heart desires.

We’ve got you.

Do You Work On Your Relationship Every Day?

Do You Work On Your Relationship Every Day?

by | Jun 26, 2020 | breakups, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

Is your relationship or relationship status something you think about every day? 
Not from a place of “desperation,” but from a place of commitment to having what you want?

Are your daily actions and choices aligned with creating the relationship of your dreams? 

Being in committed action about the things that are important to you creates confidence and is the path to manifesting what you want. 

So what choices can you make every day that will get you closer to creating the relationship your heart desires?  

Here are five choices you can make everyday to get you closer to creating the passionate, loving, fun relationship you really want.

  1. Be Crystal-Clear About What You Want. 

Without crystal-clarity, you get blurriness. In relationships, this looks like having bits and pieces of the kind of relationship you want to experience, but not quite having it ALL.  Each and every day, declare what the relationship of your dreams looks like and feels like. Don’t focus on  the qualities the man will possess or what he needs to have but what the two of you will create and experience together. 

If you want to experience happiness in the relationship, what does that look and feel like for you?

Do you want to laugh and smile together?

Are you going to be spontaneous and adventure together?

Get clear on what you truly  want and declare it daily.

2. Set Your Intention. 

Everyday, set an intention of what you are going to create and who you are going to be that day. Maybe you declare you’re going to “have fun and learn something new. Then, throughout the day make sure your actions align with that intention. 

BE and bring the fun! BE interested and interesting. 

Whether you’re going on a date, spending time with your partner, or just going about your normal day, you have the power to create and BE the experience you want to have. 

3. Start Smiling and Stop Complaining

This one isn’t just about smiling and not complaining. It’s about focusing your energy and attention on what you DO want to see and experience so that you are finding evidence of that all around you.  It’s about BEing the things you would like to see in a partner and attracting them to you. 

You attract who you are, so BE the love you want to see!. 

Everything we see is a projection of how we see ourselves. The more we become what we want, the more we will find it outside of ourselves. 

When you stand in this power you step into the power of creating, attracting and manifesting, instead of hoping, waiting or forcing things to happen. 

And that’s irresistible!

4. Experience and Express Gratitude.

In each moment that you see something beautiful or experience something you feel gratitude for, stop for a moment. 

Give yourself a few seconds to really feel the gratitude and love you’re experiencing. 

This is one of the most transformational practices you can begin implementing in your life!

Simply try it and see if you don’t start calling more goodness into your life! 

5. Choose your words wisely.

The words you say, both out loud and in your head, are very important, because your subconscious becomes a detective for the words you think and say. 

As soon as you say the words, “Dating is hard” or “I’m really trying in my relationship, but it’s just not working” your brain starts to look for evidence that you’re right. 

So… what do you want to be right about?

Change those words to “Dating is fun!” and “My relationship is growing stronger everyday,” and see how you and your love life begin to transform!

If you’d like some support in raising your self-awareness so that you can really start to understand how you can stop patterns that aren’t working for you and choose thoughts, words and actions that are aligned with your love vision, we’d love to talk to you!  Just click on the link below and schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

This call will help you see what’s in the way, how to get it out of the way, and what your next best steps are for moving in the direction of life and love your heart desires.

It’s so easy to become apathetic in your life when things aren’t working out the way you would like, or if they are taking longer to become reality then you’d like them to. 

When you choose to take daily actions that are aligned with what you want, then God and the universe can’t help but start to deliver it to you! 

So, who are you going to BE today? What are you going to CHOOSE?