Stop the Arguing and Start Thriving in Your Relationship!

Stop the Arguing and Start Thriving in Your Relationship!

by | May 8, 2020 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you feel like you and your partner can’t agree on anything? 

Do you like to talk about things and he prefers to think it through first?

When disagreements arise, do tension and arguments rise, too? 

Do you feel like you don’t know how your differences can work in your relationship? 

Let me tell you this.

“It’s not disagreements that’s tearing your relationship apart. It’s the way you’re disagreeing.”  

Ric and I are like the yin and yang. We are two complete opposite puzzle pieces that couldn’t be more different. 

We feel differently about religion, about politics and lots of other things! We are extremely different! And there was a time when I wasn’t sure our relationship would survive.

When I look back on that time in our marriage, I am embarrassed because I had to be right about everything! I would correct everything he did. Even the smallest things he did and said If he did them differently than me, I would correct him. 

Almost every conversation we had, whether we were talking about paint, our dinner, or work, would end up in an argument, and I would end up in another room crying because I was so upset about how such a simple conversation could end so badly.

Can you relate? 

The thing is we all have an Ego – that part of our brain that wants to keep us safe and wants us to be right, no matter what the cost. And, as human beings with an Ego, sometimes we don’t realize that we are giving away our happiness in our effort to be right. 

It is painful and exhausting to be in the experience of always fighting over things you don’t agree on. 

Your fear that possibly you made the wrong choice when you picked your partner, or that, if you were right for each other it wouldn’t be so hard is often the thing that is triggering your need to be right. 

Sometimes we think that if two people are meant to be together, they’ll like all the same things, think the same way, and make the same choices

That couldn’t be farther from the truth!

Again, remember the yin and yang? Your differences and individuality are the things that brought you together, and they are the things that will keep you together – IF you learn how to respect and appreciate them. 

You first need awareness of the pattern – because, more than likely, it’s happening automatically. 

So, ask yourself honestly: 

Does this resonate with you? 

Do you put your partner down?

Do you correct and try to get him to agree with you?

I guarantee that your intention is not to hurt each other – I know mine wasn’t!

But are you reacting to a subconscious fear or belief and, in the process, making him wrong? 

Awareness is just the first step in the process. There are communication and relationship skills that will help you transform your differences from this recurring experience of disagreeing and fighting into something beautiful that actually brings you closer together.  

Relationships require at least one person in the relationship being willing to show up at her strongest so that things work well, and if you desire a happy, healthy, connected and passionate relationship that will last a lifetime, then we have something special for you! 

We’re  so excited to be inviting you to the Reignite the Spark Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, May 9th at 12pm Eastern! 

In three information-packed hours, you’ll learn exactly how to break through the patterns that have been sabotaging your relationship, inspire your partner’s love and desire, and deepen the love and intimacy in your relationship (yes, even during these stressful times), so that you can create the happy, loving relationship that will last well beyond this pandemic. In fact… It will last for a lifetime!

Grab your spot for the Reignite the Spark Masterclass here!

Just like two puzzle pieces that are shaped exactly the opposite of one another in order to complete the puzzle , two very different people can fit together perfectly, despite their differences, and create a beautiful masterpiece when they learn how to fit together.

We’re here to show you how! 

If You’re Not Growing, You’re Choosing To Stay Stuck

If You’re Not Growing, You’re Choosing To Stay Stuck

by | Mar 27, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Love, Ready to Love Again, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

“I’m having a hard time sleeping at night.” 

“Focusing during the day feels nearly impossible.” 

“I feel unsettled.” 

“I feel helpless and powerless.” 

These are some of the things we’ve been hearing from women this week. 

Have you been feeling at all similar? 

With what feels like our whole world turned upside down over the last couple of weeks, we want you to know that we are right there with you. We’re living in the same world as you, experiencing the same situations and circumstances that the rest of the world and country are dealing with at this time. 

You truly are not alone.

And, although we may not have much control over our situation or circumstance right now, the thing we do have control over is how we choose to deal with it. 

There is no better time than right now to master your mindset! 

What does that look like? 

  1. Feel what you need to feel. Mastering your mindset doesn’t look like brushing things under the rug or pretending you don’t feel the way you feel. Acknowledge where you’re at and allow yourself to be there for a minute… Just don’t stay there.
  2. Shift. Ask yourself “What I do so that  I can deal with this in an empowered way?”

For example, maybe you’re feeling like dating is out the window right now. Maybe you’re using COVID-19 as a distraction to stop you from moving forward. Or maybe you’re feeling depressed that you’re finally ready to date, and now you can’t leave your house. 

Did you know that, while 25% of Americans are staying inside their homes right now, Bumble has seen a 23% increase in Seattle and New York (two of the cities that have been hit the hardest and that are being ordered to stay inside).  And those numbers aren’t just reflecting swiping. These are people engaged in conversations. 

Men are saying that they have had such a hard time making the shift to online dating, because they were so afraid of not getting a response, and now it’s all there is, so they are being bolder! We are hearing the most fun stories from our clients who are getting creative with dating — having Facetime dates, grocery store dates, and picnics where they are keeping the 6-foot recommended distance — and moving forward with it anyways. 

Life is still happening. 

Even though we may be stuck inside and getting used to our new normal, life is still happening around us and we can choose to create the things we’ve always wanted now. 

The world is coming together right now. This is the most worldwide impactful event since WWII. 

Yes, there is uncertainty, and, where there is uncertainty, fear will be triggered. 

The thing is…. Humans are resilient.

There’s a reason why we’re still on this earth and dinosaurs aren’t! 

The human spirit has a natural instinct to adapt and keep moving forward, even under the hardest of circumstances. We feel a pull to keep growing and moving forward, no matter what. 

So, what are some things you can do to shift? 

For example, earlier this week, I was having a hard time focusing, so I went outside with my beach chair, a small table, my laptop, my Bible, and my books, and felt an immediate shift. 

I’ve been taking daily walks that I time precisely so that I can see the sunset.  It’s amazing how such simple things can make such a difference!

And, I’m immersing myself in books, videos, and audios that are focused on empowerment, prosperity, and faith!

Here are some ideas we’ve gotten  from women we’ve been speaking with: 

  • Go for a walk and pick some wildflowers from your neighborhood. 
  • Take extra time to practice self-care – do your own nails, give yourself a facial, light some candles and relax. 
  • Read all the books you never made time to read before! 
  • Pray and meditate. 
  • Listen to positive podcasts. 
  • Cook your favorite foods. 
  • Purge clothes and organize your house. 
  • Dance to your favorite music. 
  • Create a cozy space in your home you can escape to when you need some space. 

Many things may be cancelled, but life is not! 

Another thing that’s not cancelled is having meaningful conversations and connecting with others in creative ways. 

Neither are your dreams. You still get to have the life and love you’ve always wanted.  Don’t let fear or social distancing try to cheat you out of believing that!

If you’d like to talk about how this time can be an opportunity for you, instead of a block, let’s hop on a call and have a conversation about what you can do for yourself and for your dreams right now, regardless of what’s going on around you!

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Our prayers for peace are with you. 

Are You Being Used?

Are You Being Used?

by | Jan 11, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz 

Are you afraid of being taken advantage of by men? 

Do you seem to consistently attract men that “need” something”?

Do you feel like men only want sex from you and that once they have gotten it, they disappear? 

Is your experience that men always need your “fixing”? 

If this seems to be your experience in dating and relationships, know that you are not alone. In our work with thousands of women, this is the #1 limiting belief that women have about men and relationships. 

And the thing is, for those with this fear, it is 100% real to them.

That’s why we wanted to share this message first thing in this new year!

If this is what you are experiencing or feel like you are experiencing — basically if this is your paradigm for relationships — it’s because you’ve had an experience in the past that created this belief. 

Warning signs that you have this belief are that:

  • you have the experience of over-giving and not receiving back a relationship
  • you feel as if you’re being used for sex
  • you’re helping a man “gets back on his feet,” or being used financially
  • you feel like you must be “needed” in order for someone to love you, and that if they don’t “need” you, then they will leave you

Think about your last 3-4 relationships? Was this showing up? 

If these signs have shown up in three or more of your past relationships, then there’s a pattern that needs shifting!

This pattern comes from a belief that you created because of a past experience. 

And that belief was most likely created years before your first date. 

One example of something you may have experienced as a child is having something happen that led you to believe you had to DO something EXTRA in order to be loved.

When you have this belief, you will attract men who need you, need help, need support, and you feel like you are always the one doing the helping or “fixing.” 

So ask yourself – 

Are you noticing these patterns in your relationships?

Are you having painful experiences in dating? 

OR are you holding yourself back and not having experiences with men because of this fear? 

The first step to shifting fears is to recognize that they are present, so be honest with yourself here. 

If this sounds like you, then start to pay attention to these things when you are dating… 

  1. Are you over-giving? Are you giving to another person to the point that you are not honoring yourself? 
  2. Are you taking time to really get to know someone? Are you holding back in a healthy way so you don’t give too much too soon? Are you giving yourself the opportunity of time to get to know someone so you know that can trust the other person and his intentions? 
  3. Are you looking for consistency in words and actions in the men you are dating?
  4. Are you feeling safe to be generous and give love freely because you are receiving in return? 

Sometimes you need help recognizing these patterns in your life. We want you to know that so much of the pain you experience in love, dating, and relationships is unnecessary and avoidable!  

If you feel like this is a belief you have, and you’re having a hard time recognizing or shifting the pattern, let us help you do the HeartWork to break past it. 

You get to be loved freely, and to be loved freely  in return. 

And you don’t have to do it alone. 

Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Are You Ready To Set Your Dreams On Fire?

Are You Ready To Set Your Dreams On Fire?

by | Dec 20, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Love, Ready to Love Again, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

 

Here we are at the closing of another year, and this year it’s a little bit of a bigger  deal. It’s also the closing of a decade! 

 As you look forward to ringing in this new year (and new decade!) let me ask you a question.

 And be honest with yourself here. 

 Are you where you thought you would be when it comes to love? 

 While talking to a woman the other day, she realized that it had been 11 years since she’d been in a relationship. It’s been an entire decade since she experienced love! 

 When we think about it in terms of years, it really puts it into perspective doesn’t it?!

 Now, I don’t tell you this or ask you the question to depress you or make you feel bad.

 I simply know that if the topic of love is important to you (and I know it is, because you’re reading this), then it’s probably something you gave some thought to as you entered into 2019. 

 And if you’re not where you thought you would be by now, it’s probably on your mind for 2020.

 There is a powerful opportunity for you here to have an honest conversation with yourself about where you are and where you want to go. It matters to you and it gets to happen this decade and even this year!!

 I invite you to go through the following exercise, RIGHT NOW! 

 Take out a piece of paper and take just a few minutes to answer the questions and think about what you yearn to create. Be crystal-clear about how you feel about what you want. 

 I heard recently, “Our actions are our prayers to heaven.” What are your actions saying about what you really truly want? 

 New Year, New Decade Personal Inventory Exercise 

1. Look at where you thought you’d be. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, where did you think you’d be in December 2019? 

Write it down. Be very clear and as descriptive as possible. 

Did you think you’d be in a committed, loving relationship? 

Did you think you’d be spending Christmas with someone you love? 

Did you think you’d be traveling with this person? 

Did you think your relationship would be more passionate by this time this year? 

Be very honest with yourself here. And remember: Our brains are designed to look for what’s going to protect you, not what will actually make you happy. So there’s no right or wrong answer here, just make sure you are being very honest with yourself. 

2. Where are you now, compared to where you thought you’d be? 

Is it the same? Better? Worse than you thought? 

Have you even thought about it this year? 

Have you distracted yourself with other things because it hurts too much to try? 

Do you feel like you’re okay, but really you’re just surviving because you don’t have what you really yearn for? 

Again, be really honest here. If you continue to make it “okay,” even if it’s not what you really want, nothing will ever change. 

3. Now that you’ve compared, honesty, where you thought you’d be to where you actually are… what’s missing? What’s in the gap? 

Get honest with yourself. Admit that you’re tired of it being this way. 

And look at yourself. What needs to shift? 

Get curious about what is in the way.

Note: It’s not that the guy is the thing that’s missing…. What gets to shift inside you so that you can create what you want to create in love?

4. The last step is to write your vision about where you want to be. 

Where do you want to be in December 2020? A year from now, what will you have created? 

What does it look like?

How does it feel to be in that kind of relationship?

How will you know that  you’re exactly in the place you want to be?

Write it down. 

Maybe what you write now is different from what you thought you wanted last year. That’s okay.

You’ve had experiences this year, you’ve grown, you’ve learned. 

Or maybe you haven’t and you feel stagnant. 

Either way, honor where you’ve come over the last year,  and based on where you are today, write what it is that you want to create now.

How did that feel? How was that exercise for you? 

We really hope you took the time to do it, because it’s powerful. It’s only in knowing what we want and seeing what’s in our way that we can overcome the blocks and create it! 

That’s why we’ve opened up just a few more Love Breakthrough Sessions on our calendars before the end of the year.  Because what’s in the way isn’t always something you can see on your own. Sharing your vision and your gaps with someone who can guide and give you the exact steps you can take to overcome the obstacles and truly create what you want can make all the difference between staying where you are now or actually being in the relationship you dream of at this time next year.. 

Make sense? 

That’s why we’re here. 

1) To be another set of eyes, eyes experienced in love, to really help you to see what’s in your gap. 

2) we’re here to help you get to where you want to be without having to experience some of the pain that we have experienced or that we’ve seen others experience. We get to coach you to create the love you desire and create it NOW. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Make 2020 the year you set your dreams on fire!

You Get To Be Cherished.

You Get To Be Cherished.

by | Dec 6, 2019 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love

by Michelle Roza

 

Do you want to be cherished?
 

I don’t know about you, but that word just brings all the feels! 

To be cherished. What does that really mean? 

Literally, the word cherish means to hold dear, to show affection for, to cultivate care, and to harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely. 

Being cherished looks like being absolutely loved, cared for, and protected. 

So how do you attract the man that will not only cherish you, but cherish you forever? 

#1 – Believe You’re Worth It. 

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it forever, because it really is that important. 

The reason why we say it over and over is because I don’t think any of us walk around consciously thinking that we aren’t worth it. But, when you stop and honestly look at what’s underneath, do you really know that you deserve to be cherished? 

I know, for me, I remember when I didn’t believe.

On the surface, everything looked great, but, underneath, it wasn’t great at. Because I didn’t believe that I was worth it.

I never allowed myself to be seen by the men who I thought were really great. The high-quality, good character men, I just didn’t show up for. I always went one step below. 

Because that’s what I felt like I deserved. 

I felt so much shame about my divorce, about dating not working for me, and about being alone. I felt like my time was just about up to find love, and I was so desperate for love!

Can you relate? 

It wasn’t until I did the HeartWork – the internal work to release, heal, and let go of the layers of fear, shame and heartache – that things started to shift.

I started to feel better FOR REAL, so that’s what started being reflected out in the world, and that’s what I began attracting. 

I stopped attracting “not good”men and “not-good-for-me” men and started attracting those good guys that had the qualities that I desired

And I soon found Arnie. 

The #1 thing you MUST do in order to find the partner that will cherish you forever is to believe that you are worth it.

#2  – Make Yourself a Priority

You must make yourself a priority if you expect anyone else to. And it’s not just about doing your nails and your hair and looking physically attractive. It’s also not about buying yourself more “stuff.” 

Making yourself a priority is about spending time with yourself. Filling yourself up so that you aren’t looking to be filled by someone else. 

We all have big lives and sometimes we can end up putting ourselves at the bottom of the pile – and that doesn’t help anyone. 

Your way of being is the most attractive thing to a man (and everyone else). So make yourself a priority, so that you have light to give. 

#3 – Honor Your Word

If you want a man that will cherish, respect, and love you, then YOU must cherish you and respect you and love you. 

Honor your word. 

If you say you will go to bed at 10:00, go to bed at 10:00. 

If you say you’ll go to the gym at 7am, then get up and go to the gym at 7am. 

If you tell your kids that bedtime is 9pm, then put them to bed at 9pm. 

When you don’t honor your word, then others don’t know what they can count on your for. Worse than that, even YOU don’t know what you can count on yourself for. That breeds self-doubt,  and it’s all downhill from there. 

You will learn to not trust yourself, and you can’t trust a man if can’t trust yourself to choose the right man. 

Stop living your life based on your feelings, because your feelings change! Start living your life by your commitments, saying “this WILL be” and then making sure it is so. Do that, and see what changes!

You see, it really does begin with you. 

We may sound like a broken record, but it’s the absolute truth. 

I was talking to a client the other day who just got married!!! I was remembering one of our first conversations when we uncovered her belief that there was something wrong with her because she was in her 50’s and had never been married. She believed that it would have been better to have been divorced 3 times than to be her age and have never been in a long-term relationship. 

What a limiting belief! But can you relate? 

Once we uncovered that limiting belief and she did her HeartWork, she started showing up in the world differently. She was smiling again. She felt good! And she was no longer on a timeline. She knew that she deserved it and that it was on it’s way to her. 

She ended up attracting a man that she’d met decades before who came back into her life, and now they are happily married. 

It is possible if you just believe. 

So, if you really want to learn how you can start cherishing yourself and then attract the man that will cherish you forever then act NOW to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening this weekend!

Click here to grab your spot (only 2 left!)!

At this event, we’ll help you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for the love that your heart desires deeply,  and the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience it in 2020! 

There are only 2 spots left at this event, and we’d love one of them to be yours!

Remember:  It’s not just about getting a man to ask you out. It’s about BEing the irresistible woman that he decides he can’t live without. That’s when all your dreams will become a reality!

It’s Possible For You Too.

It’s Possible For You Too.

by | Dec 4, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, heartache, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

One of the pillars of what we teach –  something that’s absolutely fundamental to creating the passionate, intimate, connected, loving relationship that you desire – is having a crystal-clear vision of what you want. 

And we mean crystal-clear. Not just kinda-sorta knowing what you want. Not just having a list of expectations of what your man must have. And not just having it written it down, but still not really believing that you can have it. 

We’re talking about being able to see it, feel it, taste it, smell it, AND believe that it will happen. 

Without that level of clarity, you will settle for what you think you can get. 

We hear it from clients all the time, 

“What if this is the best I can do?” 

“What if I let this one go and have to wait another 10 years?!” 

“What if what I want is unrealistic?”

“What if it’s just not possible for me?”

I was talking with a client the other day who was telling me about the beautiful vision she has for love. It was a vision of fun and laughter and connection and joy. hen, in the middle of describing it to me, she stopped, and said, “I know, it sounds crazy. There’s no way this is possible. It’s too much” 

Was she asking for a man with 5 hands? No. 

Was she asking for a man that owned 5 islands? No. 

Was she asking for a man with 17 eyes. No.

Now, that is unrealistic (and a little absurd)! 

As we dug deeper, we discovered that a childhood (and lifetime) of feeling like there was never enough and that she was always asking for “too “was the reason she had this limiting belief. She realized what it was costing her to continue holding onto the belief that what she wanted was too much and not possible for her, and she decided that it was time to break through it NOW!

Desiring to have a relationship that is full of fun and laughter and connection and wonderful sex — none of that is too much. Everything about that is possible, AND it’s possible for you. 

Creating that vision and the reality of creating it comes from clarity.

Clarity asks the questions:

“What do I want to experience in the relationship of my dreams?” 

“What am I going to bring to the relationship so that I can experience that?”

“How can I BE the love that I want to see?” 

Clarity is not about knowing what qualities you want your man to have. It’s about knowing what you want to experience in the relationship of your dreams, and then BEing those things. 

BEing the respect you want to experience. 

BEing the love you want to receive. 

BEing the fun. 

BEing the passion. 

And what does BEing look like? 

Taking action. But not just any kind of action.

It means taking the kind of action that is aligned with your vision.

Having all the faith and clarity in the world will get you absolutely nowhere without taking action. 

A vision without action is nothing but a wish. And wishing is not a real strategy for getting what you want.

Which is why we want to invite you to our 2020 Love Vision  Workshop, happening in just a few days. We’l lbe walking you through a deep process to help you actually physically experience the clarity you are seeking. 

But it won’t stop there. 

You will walk away from the event, not just with a crystal-clear vision, but with a PLAN to carry it out. With the actual steps to make it a reality. 

Because it IS possible for you to create the love that you want in 2020. 

Click here to learn how to manifest the relationship you want.

And, in case you’re thinking that 2 days can’t make a difference in what’s possible for you for 2020, I want to share this with you:

Let’s go back to Christmas of 1998. I had just lost my husband in September, and I felt like I was walking through a fog. The holidays seemed so empty without him. I felt alone, and it was hard. 

Just one year later, Christmas 1999, I was in New York City but I wasn’t alone.  I was celebrating Christmas with Ric and both of our mothers. I’ll never forget when he brought out my gift (a beautiful purse) and was fussing about how he hoped I would like it. When I opened it up, I found a beautiful, custom-made engagement ring inside! We’d talked about getting married, so that part wasn’t a surprise. But to have it happen then, on Christmas Eve, with our moms there with us, I was elated!!

SO much can change in just one year. The difference between Christmas 1998 and Christmas 1999 was just one year, but it was day and night for me! 

Trust me when I say, everything you think can’t happen, but you dream might happen, CAN happen in just one year!

And it will, once you have the clarity and the action steps to create it. 

Click here to manifest the love you want in 2020!