Stop the Drama and Start Thriving!

Stop the Drama and Start Thriving!

by | Aug 31, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you feel like you’re constantly “surviving” in your life? 

Are you stuck in a pattern of drama?

Do you feel like love is “too hard,” or that it “takes too much effort”? 

Do you seem to always attract men that have a lot of baggage, don’t want to commit, or just aren’t good for you? 

The pattern of drama is an easy one to fall into, but it’s life-changing when you choose to shift it. 

Let me tell you my story. 

After my divorce and before I met Arnie, I realized I had a pattern of drama. One day I was telling a friend about the latest guy I was going after, how he was back and forth between me and another relationship that wasn’t working out, and how it was taking so much time and energy! 

After listening to me patiently this friend looked at me and he said, “Gosh Michelle, you have so much drama in your love life.” 

I was a little taken aback by that comment and he continued by saying, “I’m not saying that what you’re saying isn’t happening, but I’m saying that you’re creating it.” 

Wow. 

That was a wake-up call for me and I got to get really honest with myself. 

Was I creating it? 

I realized that I was. I realized that, from a very young age, I had learned that love is chaotic.

I had always had poor examples of relationships in my life. Both of my mother’s relationships included arguing, fighting, bickering, screaming, name-calling, and threatening. I had also watched my mom be “a martyr” and constantly give up what she wanted, not in a mutually compromising kind of way, but rather to “keep the peace.” 

I then recognized that I had always created, and was continuing to create, the same thing in my own life. 

My previous marriage had been filled with drama, constantly breaking up and then getting back together, and arguing about everything! 

When I got divorced, I thought I could start a clean page and do things differently. 

What I didn’t realize is that nothing inside of me had actually changed, so I continued to create the same thing in my new relationships. 

I always attracted men that had lots of baggage, had many failed relationships in their past, and were just as good at arguing as I was. My dramatic energy was attracting more drama and chaos.

And I was over it. 

When I realized I had this pattern and where it came from, everything began to change.  I broke the pattern, changed my beliefs about what love and relationships look like, met Arnie, and, together, we are creating the relationship of our dreams. 

If I can do it, you can too! 

So, how do you break the pattern of drama?

 

1. Recognize It.  Today is the day to get honest with yourself. Nothing is ever going to change if you don’t take a good hard look at what is happening in your life and see it for what it is. 

2. Own It.  Admit that if drama is showing up in your life, then you’re playing a part in creating it. When you do this, you stop being a victim to it. Take responsibility for it. You can choose to either keep going this way or create something new. And that’s where the power lies.

3. Accept It.  This means not judging yourself because of it. By recognizing that it’s there and owning your piece in creating it, you’re not blaming yourself for it, rather, you’re taking ownership in creating it so that you can change it. 

Ask yourself: What need am I trying to fill by keeping this pattern of drama in my life? 

Maybe you feel important when you’re giving everything away for love. 

Maybe you feel significant when you’re experiencing drama in your life. 

Maybe you’re just so used to the feelings of drama – worry, anxiety, loss, frustration – that you stay in that surviving state because it’s your “normal.”

If you broke that pattern, what could be created? 

If it doesn’t have to be that way, what’s a new possible belief?

4. Change it. Create a new definition of love and create new patterns. Decide what you want love to look like. And every time the old pattern shows up (because it will), recognize it, tell yourself that you’re not doing that anymore, and make a different choice. 

Choose to be love-able and worthy, because you are! 

When I changed this pattern, I decided that love got to be fun and easy. Love looked like communicating calmly and rationally. Love looked like being able to be 100% myself and still be loved. 

When I deepened the relationship with myself and decided I was love-able and worthy, only then did I begin to attract the high-quality men that I deserved and wanted to spend time getting to know. 

What do you want? 

Are you willing to do the work to break this pattern and create something better in your life? 

Are you ready to stop merely surviving, and start thriving?! 

If you are, we have GREAT news for you!

One of the fastest and most effective ways to break a pattern  and transform your life is to join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE!

In this 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want SUCCESS in love, we will be uncovering what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

If you’re tired of the drama, the frustration, and the dissatisfaction of dating and being in relationships that are NOT the peaceful, happy, and mutually supportive, then you need to join us!

We’re making it SUPER easy for you by taking 80% off the regular ticket price!

Why?

Because we don’t want there to be ANY reason or excuse for you to not be there!

You’ll even get a special “swag box” with cool stuff we’ll be using during the event IFyou are one of the first 100 people to grab your ticket.  

Once the swag boxes are gone, they’re GONE, so don’t miss out on getting yours mailed to you before the event!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

You can thrive. You can have the relationship of your dreams. 

You just have to choose it.

The Key to True Love

The Key to True Love

by | Aug 21, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Ready to Love Again, Self-Love, Successful Women

by Gladys Diaz 

What is the key to true love? 

Many women think it lies in finding the right person or having a perfected list of qualities you’re looking for in a partner. 

Some think it’s about where or how you meet the person,  while others think the key is in “divine timing.” 

What we’ve found from working with women of every age, from many countries, and all backgrounds is that there is one thing that truly separates the women that create the loving, intimate, long term relationship they desire and those that don’t. 

The key to creating true love with another person is creating true love within yourself first. 

Now, we’re not talking about self-care, though we do encourage doing all the things that fill you up and nourish your soul.

Self-love is deeper. 

Self-love is about the relationship you have with yourself. 

It’s the things you say about and to yourself.

It’s feeling comfortable with the most intimate parts of who you are. 

It’s the beliefs you hold about yourself. 

It’s the way you trust who you are and how you feel. 

It’s loving and accepting every part of you, even the parts of you you’re afraid others may not like. 

It’s bringing forgiveness and acceptance to your past. 

True self-love creates confidence, trust and the ability to create the things you most deeply desire.  

This is important whether you are single, in a relationship, or in a relationship that isn’t everything you hoped it would be,  because the relationship you have with yourself will be reflected in the relationships you create with other people. 

Do you have any resistance coming up around this?
Do you doubt that this could really be what’s missing from creating what you want in your life? 

If so, you’re not the only one. It’s easier to point outside of yourself for why things aren’t working the way you’d like to in your life. It’s much harder to look inward and be responsible for what you’re experiencing and creating in your relationships and in your life. 

And, if you don’t have the skills to know how to turn things around it can be a terrifying and frustrating place to be. We get that. 

We also know that knowing exactly what to do and how to do it  brings incredible amounts of confidence,  joy, and empowerment, because the relationship you have with yourself is the ONE thing you have total control over. 

Everything starts with you.
And that’s GREAT news!

When I was in the midst of my own self-love mission, everything in my life looked perfect on the outside. I had the job, I had great kids, I traveled with my girlfriends, and I was dating a lot — though none of those dating experiences ever went very far. 

Men would always tell me that I had an amazing life and was an amazing woman, but that they knew they just couldn’t give me what I wanted. 

I felt so confused and wondered why.If my life was so awesome, how could I still come home at night and feel so miserable and lonely and alone? 

Once I did the HeartWork I realized that all I wanted was someone to validate that I was lovable, when what I really needed was to create that love inside myself first. 

Recognizing that belief, uncovering where it came from, and creating something different within myself was such a transformative experience that it’s literally why we started doing the work that we do. 

We want every single woman to create the love and relationship that she deserves and desires, and, like we’ve said, we know it starts with you. 

That’s why we’d love to invite you to the Self-Love Secret Mission, a free 5-day challenge happening next week! 

Imagine five days where you can break-though and create the type of love and relationship with yourself that you want to create with others. 

Throughout the week, you will experience falling in love with yourself  and start seeing the miracles that follow. 

Out of this experience we’ve seen women obtain new jobs, receive promotions, manifest new homes, and create the relationship of their dreams — all through the healing and transformation  that comes through doing this HeartWork. 

If you’re ready to create a deeply loving, profound, and powerful relationship with yourself that will have you create the life and love you really want, then make sure you join us for the Self-Love Secret Mission!

Click here to join us for the Self-Love Secret Mission! 

When you dive into self-love and develop a deep and intimate relationship with yourself, you tap into and unleash your Irresistible Essence,  which is the key to creating everything your heart desires!

We can’t wait to see you there!

Do You Believe Love Can Be Easy?

Do You Believe Love Can Be Easy?

by | Aug 13, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, Intimacy, Love, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

Believing you can have the love you desire is the key to creating the relationship of your dreams. 

Do you really  believe it’s possible for you? 

Your answer is probably yes. 

But, here’s the kicker.: Your brain is getting in the way. 

Whether it’s been years since your last relationship, or you’re in one right now,  if you’re struggling to know how to make it work the way you want it to, there’s a belief that’s getting in the way. 

Everything we believe is given by something that happened in our past. 

Things happen. Promises are broken, something unexpected happens, people change, partners die… and we start to wonder: Can I really have the love I want?

No matter what your relationship status, ask yourself this: What is getting in the way of me having the relationship I really want?

The first thing to pay attention to is what you’re thinking in the little moments. 

What’s the very first thing that comes to your mind when someone says you’re beautiful? 

When he doesn’t call after a date? 

When he’s 10 minutes late to pick you up? 

When your boss calls you in for a meeting?

The reason it’s important to pay attention to those thoughts is because those thoughts are the ones running the show. 

They’re creating your “reality.” 

Even if you say you know you can have the relationship you really want, but you don’t fully believe it, you won’t be able to create it. 

You will always listen to your beliefs over your thoughts or words. 

So, what’s running your show? 

What are your dominant thoughts focused on? 

Do you think you can’t trust him? That relationships never last? 

Do you feel like relationships are too hard, or that a great relationship is never going to happen for you? 

These thoughts were created before you had your first kiss or your first crush. 

And that’s why it’s important to get to the root beliefs under those thoughts, so that you can dig them up and replace them with beliefs that will serve you. 

It’s like when I’m pulling those pesky weeds out of my yard. If I don’t pull them all the way out, including the roots, they will just grow back! But if I pull them  out,  roots and all, they will be gone for good. 

It’s the same with our beliefs. 

When you get to the root of the belief that’s tainting your reality, then, and only then, can you replace it by planting new experiences which create new beliefs that are just as strong and deeply rooted as the old belief. 

Those pesky beliefs that cause you to run the same patterns in your life cause disappointing experiences. Enough disappointment leads to apathy and more disempowering beliefs, and the tug-of-war in your life goes on and on! 

The conversation you’re having in your head is what’s keeping you stuck exactly where you are. 

If you’re done suffering and are tired of having a hard time in relationships, let us help you! 

Relationships are joyful, fun, exciting, adventurous, intimate and happy! Let us help you uncover what’s making it seem so hard. Because it doesn’t have to be. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

If what you really, truly believe isn’t giving you what you want, let’s talk. It can be easy!

How to Be Someone to Be Admired

How to Be Someone to Be Admired

by | Jun 12, 2020 | Dating, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, Love, Self-Love, Success, Successful Women

by Gladys Diaz 

Who’s someone you really admire? 

Someone you look up to? Someone who’s made a difference for you?

Who would you  like to be more like? 

What characteristics do they have that you admire? 

Do they show integrity? Are they authentic and real?
Maybe they have high energy that’s contagious.
Are they loving and generous?
Are they dignified and show grace under fire? 

Take Oprah, for example. There is just such an amazing way that she exemplifies grace under fire. She is compassionate while being rigorous. She is kind while being strong. She speaks up and takes a stand without being reactive. She is dignified.

Those are just a few of the things that we look up to in women. 

How about you? 

Oftentimes, we recognize things in others that we’d like to develop more of in ourselves. 

Whether you’re in a relationship or dating, it’s essential to be self-aware. To be able to recognize the places within yourself that are your opportunities for growth.  

We say, “opportunities for growth,” because it’s not that you’re doing anything wrong or that you’re trying to be something you’re not. One of the biggest sources of stress in dating and relationships comes from being inauthentic or trying to be someone you’re not. 

We say “opportunities for growth,” because recognizing the areas in which you’d like to develop are opportunities for higher levels of self-esteem, confidence and more desired experiences. 

And all of those things are highly attractive, right?

It’s like that awesome quote by Sophia Bush says:

“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.” 

You can strive to develop yourself while also exercising self-love and grace and always striving to be your authentic best. 

So what are the ways of being you’d like to embody ?

Here are some ideas from our community: 

Confident

Real

Authentic

Good Listener

Forgiving

Genuine

Considerate

Respectful

Loving

Physically Fit

Graceful

Honest

Gentle

Integrity

A finisher

Committed

Disciplined

Focused

Owning a State of Ease

Sense of Humor

Smart

Generous

Grit

Humble

Solution Oriented

And those are just a start! 

What is it for you? 

Choose two ways of being that would make the biggest difference for you and for those around you that you can focus on embodying this week. 

And remember to make it fun!

There is a natural human desire to grow. There’s so much fulfillment and satisfaction that comes from recognizing your growth opportunities and doing something about them!

If you’d like help recognizing what some of those opportunities are for you, book a Love Breakthrough Call. That’s what we’re here for!

Sometimes, the thing holding us back is in our blind spot, and all it takes is someone to lovingly point it out, help us remove it and replace it with something else that makes all the difference.  

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

We look forward to hearing the ways in which you’re stretching yourself this week!

YOU can be the woman you most admire when you BE the love you want to see!

How to Be Part of the Solution

How to Be Part of the Solution

by | Jun 8, 2020 | Coaching, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Love, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz 

Today our message is a unique one. 

The past week has brought much heartache to our country and around the world. 

Massive amounts of fear are circulating – mixed with the emotions of frustration, anger and sadness. And all are understandable.

We aren’t pretending to know exactly what our People of Color (POC) brothers and sisters are experiencing. However, we do know that our hearts are feeling compassion, empathy and heartbreak for what is happening around us. 

You know our stand is love, and we want nothing more than to be part of the solution at this time. Our intention is to create connection, to listen, and to extend compassion and empathy to all. 

I read a quote from Elie Wiesel this week that deeply touched me. He says:

“We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must – at that moment – become the center of the universe.” 

This is why now is not the time to say, “All lives matter.” 

Do all lives matter? Absolutely! But in this moment, RIGHT NOW, it’s the time to take a stand for the injustice against black people that has gone on long enough in our country. 

If you’re feeling anger by what others are saying or doing – feel your feelings. They are not bad or wrong and are completely understandable. Your feelings are your right and it’s important that you process them! 

After the feelings are processed is when you can then communicate powerfully and clearly so that people can hear what you’re saying. 

And, to be clear, we realize that rioting is happening, and we want to distinguish between “protests” and “riots,” and know that some people are collapsing the two.

Protests give people an opportunity to take a stand and join with others so that they have one voice. Riots, on the other hand, involve damaging people and property.

Now is the time to ask yourself: How can I be part of the solution? 

 

    • Listen to what is being shared. Just listen.
    • Ask questions, don’t assume. Seek to understand what is needed.
    • Educate yourself so that you gain more confidence in your ability to move forward in this. 
    • Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, take a step back and ask: “What would have someone be/react that way?”  
    • Write your Legislators!
    • Call and let your local Police Department know your stance. 
    • Take a stand for something.

What we can’t do is ignore what’s happening or wait for someone else to provide the solution. 

This is only going to get resolved when everyone comes together! 

This is our world, our community, and we get to take a stand for what we believe in. 

Our stand is unity and love. 

We may not get it right, but we are not going to stay silent. 

How about you? 

You can watch the Love Chat with the Love Twins covering this topic HERE. Click to watch!

Below you will find some of the resources we have been reading and using to help us create a better understanding of how we can be part of the solution.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

by | Apr 24, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz 

Should I stay or should I go?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? 

If you’re asking yourself that, maybe a better question is: “Why am I staying?” 

Maybe he’s not showing up the way he used to. 

Maybe you’re not comfortable in the relationship and can’t be yourself. 

Maybe there’s a lot of drama in the relationship and it’s exhausting. 

Maybe it’s been this way for a long time and you know your life is passing you by. 

Why…? 

And by the way… this conversation doesn’t just exist when talking about relationships.

This conversation about being unclear or feeling “stuck” is relevant to just about any area of your life. 

Maybe you’re staying in a job you don’t like and that’s not fulfilling. 

Maybe your house doesn’t light you up or create the feeling of home. 

Maybe you feel stuck in your business or a friendship.

Where in your life are you just surviving? 

Where are you settling for less than you desire?

People stay in situations that are less than what they want because of FEAR. Fear of not knowing what the alternative will be like, if it will work out, and if they can handle it. 

Staying comfortable in something less than desirable feels better (or seems safer) than the risk of stepping outside of your comfort zone to create something different.

Can you relate? 

I know it was that way for me. I was married for over 12 years and at least the last three or four years of that relationship were spent knowing it wasn’t going to get any better. Did you hear me… four years!! I had major doubt that I could do it on my own, that I had what it took to leave and create something better. 

At that time in my life I was doing the same exact thing in my professional life. I was in a job that I hated. But I had a false sense of safety and wasn’t doing anything about it out of fear. 

Sound familiar? 

So… should you stay or should you go? 

First of all, if you are in a situation where you are in danger, where you experience moments of being afraid in your relationship, then there’s no question. You should go. 

No woman should ever be in a situation where she feels afraid. If that’s you, please reach out for support. 

Secondly, if you’re waiting for someone else to do something, or if you feel like you just can’t take the way things are for one more day, then it’s time to ask yourself, ”Why am I staying?”

The thing is this, most of the time, love is not what’s in question. 

We hear stories from so many women and the first answer is always “Because I love him” or “Because we love each other.” 

You can 100% feel that you love someone and not be in a relationship that is healthy, going somewhere, or what you really desire. 

What’s really in question is whether you love yourself.

Do you love yourself enough to have what you desire? 

And if you’re not clear on what you desire, do you love yourself enough to get crystal-clear about it so that you can find the courage to step out of what you’re settling for and open up the space for what you really want? 

After my divorce, and after I finally did the Heartwork to learn how to love myself, I was clear that I didn’t ever again want to be with someone that wasn’t 100% sure they wanted to be with me. When I finally created that clarity for myself, everything changed. 

Now for the question of whether you should stay. 

You should stay if you feel safe and if you have a desire to make things work. Even if right now, you’re the only one saying she wants it to work, there needs to be a desire to change things.

We’ve worked with women  who have completely redesigned their relationships. They have done the work on themselves in order to experience the relationship differently and create the relationship of their dreams inside the relationship they are already in.  

So, if you find yourself in the question of whether you should stay or go, then the time is now to take action. No amount of complaining, talking about it, or hoping that it’s going to change on its own is going to change anything. You have to take committed action! 

This is why we’re  so excited to be inviting you to the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, April 25th at 12pm Eastern! 

You will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating leadership coaching, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams. 

Grab your spot for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass here!

In the search for love, YOU get to choose! 

As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.  

We’re here for you!