by heartsdesireintl | Jul 7, 2014 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love, Sex, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
This morning, one of my first thoughts was about YOU! Why?
See, today is July 7th, and it’s sort of my Independence Day.
Three years ago today I received a phone call that I had been dreading for years. My boss called me with someone from the HR Department on the line to let me know that they were eliminating my position. I wish I could tell you that I was the picture of grace and ease on that phone all, and I’d be lying to you if I said that. I was a mess! I was crying, begging, and pleading. I was trying to explain to them how my family really relied on my income, and it didn’t make a difference. They were simply eliminating my position.
What does any of this have to do with YOU?
Watch the video below to see how YOU became part of turning what I thought was going to be a nightmare into a series of dreams-come-true!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxgw-7mEnN4
It wasn’t until several months later that I was able to see something that I hadn’t been able to see before. I was driving in my car, on my way to a woman’s business conference where I was speaking to women about how having a really great relationship requires us to be willing to take even bigger risks than the ones we take in our businesses, because we’re taking emotional risks. As I was practicing my talk, it was like one of those moments in a movie, where a ray of light comes and I was able to see what I couldn’t see before. That was that , on that conversation with my boss, where they had told me that they were eliminating my position, they actually had offered me another position. It was a position where I would be making the same amount of money that I had been making before, but I was going to be to traveling 80% of the time. I simply wasn’t willing to settle for that. I simply wasn’t willing to make that type of sacrifice.
Where all these months I had been saying that I’d “lost my job,” I saw in that moment that I had said, “No, thank you,” that I had walked away. I had claimed my independence from that job!
I also saw how it was in the weeks and months after that time, that I would share with people that I had lost my job, and they would say things like, “That’s Great! Now you can focus full-time on Heart’s Desire,” “Now you can do relationship coaching full-time,” “Now you can finish your book!”
And, every time somebody said that, I’d get so angry! (Even my kids were saying this!) But, you know, you’ve got to look at the signs in your life, and if enough people are saying the same thing, you might want to listen!
So I started to listen and I started to wonder, “What if I could really make this my career?” I had been saying for years that I wanted to do relationship coaching full-time but I couldn’t because of my job. I’d said it enough times, that God and the Universe heard me!
So I started to wonder, “What if I could do it?”
I started thinking of all of the women who I had worked with when I was doing this on the side, how they’d come to me hopeless, thinking that they were never going to be in a loving relationship or that they were going to be unhappy forever in their current relationships, and now they were living in the relationship of their dreams! If they were married, they weren’t just “happily married.” They were blissfully married to their husbands.
And I really started to believe that I could do this full-time.
And that’s where YOU came in! That’s why I thought of YOU this morning!
Because YOU – and, yes, I’m talking specifically to YOU – you’re part of my mission to have every single woman on this planet experience the joy of loving and being loved every single day of your life!
You’re what gets me up in the morning. You’re what I go to bed thinking about at night. It’s what I pray for. You’re what I work for when I don’t feel like going on anymore, because I’m tired! It’s knowing that this is my passion – that this my purpose – that keeps me going.
So, I just wanted to say, “Thank you!”
Thank you for being part of my purpose-filled life.
I also wanted to let you know that I have 3 spots left in my VIP Coaching Program. This is a high-intensity program, where you work with me 1-on-1, and the whole purpose of the program is to take you from wherever you are – whether you are single or in a relationship – to where you want to be in your love life!
We take a look at your goals. We look to see what is it that has been stopping you from experiencing that level of love? What is it that has been blocking love from either coming into your life or manifesting daily? Then we create a plan and we work on it together.
So, in just a few months, you can be telling people about how your dream became a reality.
If that’s something that interests you, go ahead and click on the link below, schedule a Ready for LoveSession with me. We’ll see if this program is a good fit for you, and, if it is, we’ll get started right away on taking you in the direction of your dreams and making your heart’s desires a reality!
Thanks again for being part of my life. Thanks for letting me make a difference in yours, and until our hearts meet again, always remember that you are loved!
P.S. I settled for a long time in my previous job, afraid that I wouldn’t be able to make my dreams a reality. Don’t settle for anything less than extraordinary love. You don’t have to. I’m here to help you manifest it!
Just contact me to schedule a Ready for Love session, and we’ll get you started on the path to making your relationship dreams a reality!
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 7, 2014 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love, Sex, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
This weekend we celebrated Independence Day in the United States. While I’m always grateful to live in this country, on July 4th in particular I am present to how incredibly blessed I am to have the freedom and opportunities available to me!
One of the truths about freedom is that it’s never “free.” Freedom comes with a price. There are millions of men throughout history who have fought for, stood for, and given their lives so that I could enjoy the freedom I have today to create the life my heart desires.
The same holds true when it comes to you and your life. Whether or not you live in the U.S., you actually have the power to break free from the past and create a new future where you are able to experience the love and joy your heart desires! But that freedom also comes with a price.
To create the type relationship your heart truly desires, you have to be willing to let go of a few things.
You have to let go of the stories you have been telling yourself about you not being worthy or deserving enough to experience that type of love.
You have to let go of the resentment, regrets, and anger that you’ve been holding onto and have kept you bound to your past.
You have to let go of fear and be courageous enough to trust and open your heart to love once again.
Once you let go of those things that have been holding you back, keeping you stuck, and blocking you from attracting and experiencing the type of love you want, there is FREEDOM on the other side!
Freedom from pain.
Freedom from fear.
Freedom from a past that no longer serves you!
So, if you are in a place in your life right now where you feel held back, held down, and unable to move forward, I invite you to LET GO and embrace the love, happiness, and freedom that are already waiting for you!
And we’ll be there to welcome you on the other side!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 2, 2014 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love, Sex, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
I received the following question from a reader in response to the article “Why Ultimatums Don’t Work in Relationships.”
Hi Gladys!
This is a completely different subject but still in the line of ultimatums. My boyfriend watched porn before we got together but we agreed he’d stop for us to be together, so he threw his CDs away. 7 months later, I found one of the “thrown away” CDs out after I came home from visiting family in a different state. He broke it and promised not to do it again. But since then, I’ve found out he’s still watching it because it was on the history (and we only have an 18mo old and one on the way, so no other adults in the house). He started deleting the history and promised once again he would not watch it because he wants us to stay together and he loves his family. Finally, today I found out he watched another one and deleted it (it had a time stamp on the computer) the other day when I went to get my haircut and our son was taking a nap.
So how do I let him know that I’m finished with his porn addiction? He needs to stop or we are gone. I love him and I know he loves us…but I can’t keep putting negative thoughts into my head when it’s not about me.
*Confused*
****************************************************************************
Dear, Confused,
I know that this can be a very sensitive topic, so I appreciate you reaching out to write about it. I can hear that you are feeling very frustrated and unsure about what to do.
People have different opinions regarding porn, and it’s clear that yours is that you don’t like it, agree with it, or want anything to do with it. Apparently, your boyfriend feels differently. He enjoys watching porn, and was doing so before getting together with you, so it’s important that you realize that his choice has nothing to do with you.
You continue looking for evidence, catching him, and telling him he has to stop. He continues to promise you that he won’t watch it anymore because he loves you, and, therefore, doesn’t want you to be upset and he wants to try to make you happy. This cycle will probably continue for as long as you continue to try to get him to stop.
The fact is that he is a grown man, and, whether or not this is a true addiction or simply something that he enjoys, telling him what he can or cannot do is something that may be okay when it comes to your 18-month-old, but not for an adult man.
In fact, the more you try to control him by telling him what he can and cannot do, the more likely he is to want to do it.
As you read in the other article, ultimatums rarely work, especially when it comes to relationships. So threatening him to leave and take your children with you may get him to stop — perhaps temporarily — but it will most likely impact the love and intimacy in your relationship because (1) you’re threatening to take your children away, and (2) you’re treating him like a child, rather than the man who is the father of your child.
Telling him what to do hasn’t worked, and threatening him hasn’t and probably won’t work. The only way he is going to stop watching porn is if he chooses to stop of his own free will.
True change only ever “sticks” when it comes from within.
So, what are your options?
Well, you say that you love him and you know he loves you. The fact that you know this tells me that he’s probably a good man and father. It also tells me that you probably don’t want to leave him. So, before you threaten to leave and take your children with you, you want to make sure that you are willing to go through with it, should he choose to continue watching porn.
Another option is letting him know that you do not want pornography in the house. By expressing your desire in this manner, you are making it about you and what you want – or, in this case what you don’t want – rather than what you want him to do or not do. This doesn’t mean that he will stop, but at least you will have expressed yourself in a respectful manner.
You can also accept that this is something that he enjoys watching, acknowledge that it has nothing to do with you or how he feels about you, and let it go. I know it probably won’t be easy, given your feelings about it. However, it is possible to respect him and his choices without agreeing with them.
If you do choose to leave and take your children with you, it’s important that you not make your choice to leave about him not wanting to stop watching porn. Instead, own your choice and make it about you not being willing or able to accept it. That way, you can be empowered in making your choice, rather than seeing yourself as a victim of his.
As I said, I know this is a sensitive topic, and you may have additional questions, so, if you’d like to talk about it some more, feel free to contact me and we’ll schedule a time to talk so that I can offer further support!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
by heartsdesireintl | Jan 17, 2014 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Relationship Advice, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
I admire my husband for thousands of reasons, but one of them is his level of commitment. When he commits to doing something – whether it has to do with work, a project, or working out– he follows through until he’s done. Even when he doesn’t feel like it. It’s what has him get the results that he gets at work, life, and with his health.
Many times, what has relationships not work is that we tend to let ourselves be guided by our feelings and emotions. Now, I know that love has a lot to do with feelings and emotions, but if just feelings were enough to make relationships work, there would be no breakups and no divorces. Having a relationship that really works and stands the test of time requires something else: a high level of commitment – even when you don’t feel like it.
See, you may not feel like responding in a respectful manner when your husband or boyfriend snaps at you. However, if you strike back with sarcasm or a venomous response, you can guarantee that the conversation is not going anywhere, except south. On the other hand, if you choose to respond respectfully, or not at all (to avoid saying that nasty thing that is sitting on the tip of your tongue, just dying to pop out of your mouth), then there’s a good chance you’ll nip that potential argument in the bud so that you can have a conversation later that actually leads to a resolution.
You may not feel like saying “Thank you,” when he does something nice for you, especially if you’re upset with him, or if you think it’s something he should have done, anyway. If you choose not to say “Thank you,” you forfeit an opportunity to point out something to him that you’d like to see happen more often. However, if you do express your thanks, you send him the message that, even though you’re upset or it was something small or that he’d already said he’d do, you care enough about him to notice when he’s done something you like and let him know you appreciate it.
You also may not feel like saying, “I’m sorry” after an argument. Maybe you’re not sorry for thinking and feeling the way you do. That’s okay. You don’t have to apologize for having your own thoughts and feelings. However, consider that apologizing for how you said what you said to him sends the message that respect him and value the intimacy in your relationship more than you do being “right.”
Having a happy, fulfilling relationship takes work. It takes the willingness to go beyond our feelings and stand inside of a commitment to have the kind of relationship we really desire: a relationship that is built on respect, gratitude, appreciation, and love, and nothing less!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 27, 2012 | Dating, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
Many women don’t realize that they are living in an “either/or world.” For some reason, they believe that they can either have a great career or business, where they experience success, fulfillment, and satisfaction… or they can be in a loving, passionate relationship, where they experience the joy of loving and being loved beyond their wildest dreams… But not both.
In this short video, I have you ask yourself some questions and help you get real with yourself about whether or not you’ve been living life from an “either/or” frame of mind!
Sign up here: http://heartsdesireintl.wordpress.com/events-workshops/
Join us Wednesday, November 28th at 9:oo p.m. to uncover some of the hidden fears, limiting beliefs, and self-sabotaging behaviors that may be stopping you from having the love your heart desires! Just sign up here to receive call-in details!
Comments? Questions? Let us know! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 20, 2012 | Dating, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
Today’s post is short and sweet, but powerful. Before you can freely love and be loved, you must love and accept yourself exactly the way you are and exactly the way you are not. You are the doorway through which love flows!
Is there something you’ve been resisting, rejecting, or resenting about yourself? Bring acceptance to it and see what begins to open up for you!
Photo credit: Jim Blob Blann via photopin.com cc
