by heartsdesireintl | May 31, 2018 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
This past weekend I took my kids ice-skating. I know… It was supposed to be the first weekend of summer, but the nonstop rain in Florida totally washed out any plans to spend a long weekend at the beach, so we went for Plan B.
It’s always interesting to me how those first few seconds on the ice can feel so vulnerable. While I have been ice skating before, I’m no pro. As I stepped out onto the slippery ice, I felt as if my feet had minds of their own. Even though I wanted to stand still, my feet were slipping back and forth under me. While I wanted to glide carefree on the ice, I was grabbing onto the barrier wall for dear life.
The loud little voice in my head kept repeating:
“Don’t fall! Whatever you do, don’t fall!”
I kept looking at the kids who were racing around the rink — seemingly fearlessly — and all I was focusing on was “Don’t fall!”
Every muscle in my body was committed to not slipping, falling, and hurting myself on that ice. It was hard to relax and enjoy myself when all my attention was on making sure I stayed upright!
Even when I eventually did move away from the wall and started skating a little faster, the thought of not falling and getting hurt remained my top priority.
And that’s how it can be when it comes to love and relationships once you’ve been hurt.
You try to go through the motions, doing what you think you’re supposed to do, pretending you and your heart are open to welcoming and receiving love, but through it all, your mind is focused on: “Don’t get hurt!”
So, you try to relax. You try to enjoy the date or the time with your partner, but, in the background, every fiber of your being is looking for signs of danger — signs that you might get hurt again.
Now, of course it’s natural not to want to get hurt. But when your main focus is on not getting hurt, few things happen:
- You cheat yourself out of truly being present and enjoying what is happening in the moment
- You’re consistently looking for “warning signs” and red flags, rather than allowing yourself to get to really see what is happening
- You protect yourself to the point that you are always guarded, which does not allow the other person to truly connect with you
Worst of all, you are subconsciously sabotaging yourself from truly opening up, having fun, and enjoying the experience of being with someone who probably has no intention of hurting you, but, because you are hyper-focused on protecting yourself, you never really get to relax and enjoy the experience.
You don’t have to be a moving target for pain, but you also don’t have to have your guard up and guard and prevent yourself from actually opening up to loving and being loved!
If you’re ready to explore how to bring down your guard so that you can attract and experience the love you want, click the link below and schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.
CLICK HERE to break through to the love you want!
On this call, we will look at what your ultimate goal when it comes to love and relationships is, what it is that is having you guard and protect your heart, and what some conscious and safe ways to bring down those barriers are WITHOUT putting yourself at risk for imminent heartbreak!
Love doesn’t have to be hard or painful. It can be easy, fulfilling, and fun.
Step away from the wall and let go. We’ve got your hand and we’re not going to let you fall!
by heartsdesireintl | May 14, 2018 | Communication, Dating, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationship, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
I had a deep wave of emotion hit me yesterday that I couldn’t explain… until later…
As you know, yesterday was Mother’s Day, and, as I sat there having a delicious Chinese meal with my mom, husband and children, I had a wave of emotion flood over me, and I couldn’t explain why until I thought about it later that night.
See, we weren’t wealthy growing up. As a matter of fact, there were times when we really struggled, and I remember overhearing arguments about money, how there wasn’t any, and what my parents were going to do to make ends meet, pay the rent and put food on the table.
Fights were not uncommon growing up, and I remember many nights praying in my bed at night, quiet tears streaming out the side of my eyes and onto my pillow, silently begging God to please make things better, to have my parents get along, and to please make the yelling stop. I just wanted to feel safe!
When things weren’t so bad, we could splurge a little. That often meant ordering Chinese food for dinner, and it was such a treat!
I remember the smell of the special fried rice filling our dining room, the taste of the salty soy sauce I would always put too much of on my rice, and the feeling that we were going to be okay as we ate and smiled at one another across the dinner table, silently hoping that moment would never end — not just the delicious food, but the peace — the fact that, for this moment, there was no fighting, only joy.
Fast forward 40-something years, and here I was, sitting at a table with my mom, husband, and my two boys. We were laughing and enjoying some tasty special fried rice, and an unexpected wave of emotion created a ball in my throat and tears in my eyes that caught me by surprise.
Why am I crying? Everything is okay… more than okay…
It wasn’t until later that night, on the drive home, that it hit me why I felt so emotional.
See, I made a decision 30 years ago that I was going to have a different life than the one I grew up seeing. I would live a life of love and peace. If I chose to marry and have children, they would never know what it was like to cry themselves to sleep over problems that weren’t theirs to solve or praying for the fighting to stop.
Moving forward, the history of of broken homes and hearts would come to an end, and I would write a new story — one where my past and the past of my ancestors would not determine my future or the future of my children and their children.
I did a lot of spiritual and personal development work to heal, transform, and recreate myself over the years. And, now, as I ate at this table, I was seeing the evidence of that promise I made to myself having been kept. And it was beautiful!
My kids don’t have to cover their ears to not hear yelling.
They don’t have to worry if they are safe and if they’re going to be okay.
They get to live in a house where love and peace are present every day and their needs — physical and emotional — are abundantly met.
They know their parents love one another and them.
My kids are safe and they feel safe.
There is no greater gift I could give them or receive for Mother’s Day. This is the life I always dreamed of for myself and them!
I don’t know if you experienced fighting, violence, addiction or any other kind of traumatic experiences growing up. I don’t know if you are seeing history being repeated in your home, or if the life you are living is not the one you set out to create for yourself.
What I do know is that one of the BEST gifts we can give ourselves and our families is that of breaking the chains of the past; leaving the past behind, where it belongs; and creating a life worth living! One overflowing with peace, and happiness, and love!
If you are not living the story you want for yourself and your children (whether you have them now or you hope to have them in the future), then I’m inviting you to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.
CLICK HERE to schedule your Love Breakthrough Session.
On this call, we will take a look at what your ultimate goals are when it comes to love and relationships, what some of the barriers to having that kind of love are, and I will give you some concrete steps you can begin to follow now so that you can create the loving relationship you want.
You can’t rewrite history, but you CAN create a new future for yourself that is completely free from the past or anything else that may be stopping you from experiencing the love, happiness, and fulfillment you want.
No matter what happened in your past, if you aren’t living in the happy, loving relationship of your dreams, something is in the way! Let’s find out what it is and remove it so that you can finally have and live in the relationship you have always wanted!
CLICK HERE to schedule your Love Breakthrough Session and rewrite your love story!
by heartsdesireintl | Mar 30, 2018 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Today, for those of us who are Christians, is Good Friday.
As a young girl, I always wondered why it was called “Good” Friday, when it marked such a sad day. I honestly could not see how remembering a brutal death of someone we loved and followed was supposed to be something “good.”
It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that, without the death of Jesus, there would not and could not have been a resurrection.
Resurrection can only come after death.
Much like healing can only come after injury or illness…
… rebuilding can only come after destruction…
… renewed hope can only come after a period of doubt or hopelessness.
And, many times, true love comes after heartache.
I know that was the truth for me, for Michelle, and for so many of the women who we have helped around the world to find the love they desire and deserve.
It’s also what’s true if you want to create a true breakthrough and transformation in your love life.
See, there is a letting go — a “dying,” of sorts — that has to happen if you are going to truly open your heart to a new and extraordinary kind of love.
You have to be willing to let go of the past, of your fears and your heartache.
You need to let go of your limiting beliefs and doubts, your judgments and expectations in order to create something completely new and different from what you have had and experienced in the past.
So, here’s my question to you:
What are you willing to let go of, once and for all, so that you can begin to welcome in the love that is waiting for you on the other side of your past?
What fear, doubt, belief or pattern are you ready to release so that new and extraordinary love can find its way to you?
What resentment, regret, or disempowering story are you finally willing to let go of so that you can create a new story — one that has you living the life and love your heart desires?
I know that letting go can feel scary, but it’s not quite so frightening when you don’t have to figure out how to do it on your own. Remember, we’re here for you!
Remember: The past has no power over you, except for the power you grant it in the present. Sometimes, letting go of just one fear or limiting belief can open the floodgates to letting new love in!
So let us know, what is one thing you are committed of letting go of so that you can have the love and happiness you desire and deserve?
by heartsdesireintl | Mar 5, 2018 | Communication, Dating, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
Quick question:
Do you find yourself thinking about how your man isn’t giving you the time and attention you want – whether it’s someone you’re dating, your boyfriend, or your husband?
Even worse… Do you allow those thoughts to pop out of your mouth in the form of statements like:
“We never spend any quality time together?”
“You have time for everyone and everything else, except me!”
“Why don’t you want to spend time with me anymore?”
While it may seem as if you are simply “being honest” or “sharing your feelings,” the truth is that there are a few words that describe those kinds of statements: nagging, complaining, and criticizing.
Now, before you scroll down to write a comment to tell me off or give me all the reasons why this IS how you feel, hear me out.
I get that you want to spend more time with him. Chances are that, when you see him spending less time with you, it triggers some fears and doubts in you about how he really feels about you. In fact, you may even have asked him how he feels about you (something I’ll cover in another post!).
I really do hear you.
However, consider that those statements, while they may be said with underlying valid feelings and desires, they don’t communicate the real feelings and thoughts underneath the complaints. Instead, they communicate:
“You’re wrong.”
“I’m needy.”
“It’s your responsibility to make me happy.”
So, how can you say what you feel WITHOUT nagging, complaining, or pushing your guy away?
Say some simple and clear messages such as:
“I miss you.”
“I feel lonely.”
“I love spending time with you.”
I know… Those are pretty vulnerable statements and it’s scary to be vulnerable, especially if you’re questioning how he feels about you.
However, if you close your eyes, take a deep breath, and breathe deep into your heart for just a minute, you’ll see the truth in them: This is how you really feel.
What’s even better, if you share your feelings with him this way, he’ll actually be able to hear you!
And that’s what you really want, right?
See, the truth is that there isn’t a man on this planet who has EVER been inspired by nagging, criticism, or complaining.
These statements are simply not inspiring or motivating. In fact, you’ve probably noticed that they have the opposite effect, making him pull further away from you, and they don’t really do much to change the situations… Which has you bring it up again, and again, and again, with NO different results.
If this has been your experience, we’d like to invite you to try something different!
The next time you’re feeling as if your guy isn’t spending enough time with you, and you’re tempted to complain about it, I invite you to say something like:
“I miss you.”
“I’d love to spend time together.”
“I can’t wait to have some time alone.”
These statements are A LOT more inspiring, they let him know how you are feeling, and they will allow him to hear you.
Oh! And don’t be surprised if he begins spending more time with you!
If you’re feeling like you’re not getting the time and attention you want from your man and you’d like support and guidance on how to turn things around, we’ve opened up some time in our calendars for you to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session with one of us.
On this call, we’ll help you see what is getting in the way of you having the kind of experience you want to have in dating or your relationship, and we’ll create a step-by-step plan for you to follow so that you being to experience the love and happiness your heart desires!
CLICK HERE to schedule your Love Breakthrough Session!
Love, dating, and relationships do NOT have to be hard. They are easy when you know exactly what to do and say to get the results you want without having to force, nag, or “get him” to do what you want! Let us help you!
Schedule a Love Breakthrough Session and get the love you want!
by heartsdesireintl | Oct 3, 2017 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Success, Successful Women, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
This makes us sooooo angry!
Michelle and I are usually pretty level-headed and open-minded, but there are some things that set us OFF, especially when it comes to the LIES that are being told to women who are looking to attract and keep a great man.
We started talking about this yesterday, particularly to how it relates to some of the best-known reality TV shows, and, as we started talking about the lies and misinformation being “taught” to women by supposed “experts” and “gurus,” we got a little heated.
See, we know what works when it comes to helping successful, professional women find the kind of lasting love they want with a wonderful man. And it doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with ANY of the garbage that is being taught out there, especially when it comes to one show in particular.
Well, rather than go on another rant, I think I’ll just share the one Michelle and I recorded in a Facebook Live session.
Watch our rant below!
Warning: It’s a bit controversial. Not everyone may like it. And, frankly, we don’t care, because the work we do is way too important to let stuff like this go unaddressed!
P.S. Feel free to comment, whether you agree with us or not. We’re open to having a conversation with you about this. And make sure you SHARE it. We’ve got to get the word out!
