Heart's Desire Intl | heartsdesireintl

Not Feeling Attracted To Anyone??

by heartsdesireintl | Nov 22, 2019 | breakups, Coaching, Dating, Forgiveness, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Ready to Love Again, Romance

by Gladys Diaz

Do you have a relationship from the past that you haven’t fully let go of?

Is there someone that is still holding a piece of your heart?

Maybe it wasn’t even a recent break-up, maybe it’s been two years, three years or even ten years ago, and it’s still blocking you from moving forward in love.

If this is you, we hear you! It can be so frustrating when you want to run freely forward without anything from the past holding you back, but just seem to be stuck.

If this is you, we know that you want to get unstuck (otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this right now), but you just don’t know how.

The first step in letting someone from the past go is understanding how holding onto that person and relationship is impacting you now, in the present. Whenever there’s something from the past that’s still in your space, it won’t allow you to move forward.

And how else is it impacting you?

To uncover the impact the past is still having on you, first look at your results.

What are you currently experiencing?

Are you going on dates or are you holding back?

If you are going on dates, are you enjoying the process?

Look at your last couple of dates. Are there patterns that are presenting themselves?

Is there something wrong with every single person you go out with?

Are you not attracted to anyone?

Do you feel disconnected, and, immediately during or after every date,feel like he’s definitely not the one?

No, you’re not going to be attracted to or want to date every single person you meet. It’s natural to not be interested in every single man you go on a date with. But, if it seems you aren’t feeling it for anyone then you may be holding onto someone from the past.

Recently a client expressed frustration with this very thing. She said that while she’s dating, she finds herself comparing every single guy to her ex. She said he was the best boyfriend and that it was the best relationship she’d ever had. I lovingly pointed out to her that it couldn’t have been “the best,” because they’re not together anymore, and that there was a reason for that. There’s a reason that it didn’t work out, and as long as she keeps romanticizing this past relationship and putting that man on a pedestal, she will never have space for the right man — the one who really will be the best!

Sound familiar?

If you find yourself having this experience, it’s time to get curious.

Ask yourself,

What’s really going on here?

Why am I not feeling connection?

Why am I never attracted to anyone?

What’s really holding me back?

Get curious

You will start to discover your blind spots by saying, “I wonder…”

“I wonder if I’m still holding onto the past?”

“I wonder why I can’t let go?”

“I wonder what that person represents for me?”

“I wonder if I’m afraid to move on?”

When it comes to breakups, it would be weird if you didn’t miss someone that you once spent time with, and it’s normal to take time to grieve. However, sometimes we think that the longer we grieve or the more time we stay stuck, the more validation we give to the relationship. But, how much more time do you want to waste staying safe and alone?

It’s okay to love someone and let them go.

Letting someone go does not invalidate the love you shared with him, the memories you created together, who he is as a person, or the lessons the relationship taught you.

And, just because you shared an incredible love once, doesn’t mean you can never find it (or something even MORE incredible) again.

When I lost my first husband and then found Ric, I realized that there’s more than just one “The One.” There are multiple people on this planet that can make you happy and love you forever!

But only if you are open to it.

Only if you are willing to do the HeartWork to bring the past to a close, release it from your mind AND your heart, and open the door to welcome the new love that’s already waiting for you.

I promise you, there’s a love out there that’s even bigger and better than that person from the past. Someone even bigger and better than you can even imagine. And someone who wants to spend his life with you!

Because of this, Michelle and I would love for you to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening in just a few weeks!

Click here to say good-bye to the past and create a new and lasting love!

At this event, we’ll be helping you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for love that your heart deeply desires.

We’ll show you the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience that love right now!

The process we’ll be taking you through is hands-on, experiential, and transformative.

We’re going to help you create your Love Vision, teach you HOW to actually live into it so you can create it in real life in 2020!

The absolute truth is that in order to open up to a new chapter, you have to complete the past. You take what worked and what didn’t work about that past relationship, release your attachment to the person, take whatever serves you into the future, and let go of everything else.

It’s time for you to let go of the past and open up to the love that is already waiting for you.

Click here to create the love you want in 2020!

How To Be Absolutely Irresistible To A Man.

by heartsdesireintl | Nov 15, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Success

by Gladys Diaz

Do you know that girl that just seems to get all the guys?

You know… that girlfriend that always seems to get people’s attention… no matter where she is??

What is it about her?

What if we told you the secret to turning a man on?

What if we gave you the tools that would have men not just BE attracted to you, but STAY attracted to you.

What if we told you exactly how to have men ask you out on the spot?

Keep reading, because what we’re about to share with you has had men turn around their cars around and PARK, or leave their seat in a restaurant to ask a girl out in the parking lot! (True stories!).

See, there’s a limiting belief many women have that men only want one thing. (I’m sure you can guess what that one thing is.)

But, guess what?! It’s not true!

Research shows that there is something that men want, something they notice right away in a woman, before they ever speak to her, and that is if she looks like she feels happy and confident.

Men notice and are attracted to a woman’s eyes and her smile before anything else..

Why?

A woman’s’ eyes reveal whether or not she feels confident.

Are you able to see a man you find attractive and make eye contact with him?

Are you able to then hold that contact?

If so, a man knows you are confident.

A woman’s smile let’s a man know how she feels. Is she happy? Does she look like she can create her own happiness, and is she enjoying her life?

Those two things are what turns a man on and makes him not only notice you, but want to do something about it.

And, for those of you already in relationships, trust us when we tell you that your eyes and your smile STILL turn your boyfriend or husband on.

Doubt us? Try it! Smile at him and hold eye contact for 3-5 seconds as you do. Then let us know how he responds! 😉

So what are the ways of BEing you can cultivate inside yourself so that your eyes shine with confidence and your smile radiates happiness?

We call them the Irresistible Essences — your innate power to create that magical spark that naturally draws men (and everyone else, for that matter) to you.

We use the word MAGICAL to help you remember what they are:

M – Mesmerizing

A – Authentic

G – Gracious

I – Inspiring

C – Confident

A – Alluring

L – Love-able

Let’s dive in a bit deeper, shall we?

BEing Mesmerizing looks like captivating a man’s attention and drawing him into you through your Way of BEing. It’s like casting a spell that has men notice and be drawn to you.

BEing Authentic means being YOURSELF. It’s knowing that you’re more than enough and showing up that way. Remember: He can’t fall (or stay) in love with you if you’re not even there!

BEing Gracious is allowing yourself to receive and giving him the gift of being able to give to you. Some women really struggle with this one, because they’re so used to doing for themselves. It’s important to point out that receiving is NOT about being entitled or not being able to take care of yourself. It’s about graciously accepting that he’s invited you out and receiving that with grace and gratitude..

So, allow him to pay. Accept his compliments. And offer gratitude in return. Let him know how much you appreciated the dinner, his company, and the date.

BEing Inspiring means being a breath of happiness, love and fun. No one wants to swim in a pool of upset. So instead of making him feel obligated to be with you or required to do anything, inspire him to show up for you by the way you are when you’re around him.

BEing Confident looks like doing your own thing and creating your own happiness. It’s knowing that you’re enough without feeling as if you have to “prove” it. Remember: This is the #1 most attractive thing to a man.

BEing Alluring is also a Way of BEing. It means being radiant, authentic, drawing people to you simply by being the amazing woman you are.

BEing Love-Able means knowing deep down, for real, that you are both able to love and be loved by another. It looks like knowing you don’t have to withhold love or be afraid to receive it.

So there you have it! The 7 ways of BEing, the Irresistible Essences, that turn a man on and attract him to want to get to know you and then want to stay with you!

If you want to dive into this even further so that you can create the relationship of your dreams NOW, then you will want to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening in just a few weeks!

Click here to learn more.

At this event, we’ll be helping you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for love that your heart desires deeply and the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience it in 2020! There are limited spots at this event and they are already filling up, so make sure to claim your spot now.

Remember: It’s not just about getting a man to ask you out. It’s about BEing the irresistible woman that he decides he can’t live without. That’s when all your dreams will become a reality!

Are You Ready To Get Over It And Move On?

by heartsdesireintl | Nov 8, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Forgiveness, heartache, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz

Is your past keeping you from having the future you desire?

Are you unable to get over an ex, no matter what you do?

Are you so afraid of getting your heart broken like you did last time, that you’re stopping yourself from being available?

Are you scared that you’ll choose the wrong man yet AGAIN and end up brokenhearted and?

Do you see how these are all fears that are being triggered by something you experienced in the past?

If you don’t overcome your past, your past will be present in your present and impact your future. Which is a shame, because your past is not a predictor, it’s an informer.

What does that mean?

It means that, just because you chose an abusive man in the past, doesn’t mean you will do it again.

It means that just because your last boyfriend cheated on you and the relationship ended in massive heartache for you, doesn’t mean the next man will do this, too.

Your past experiences don’t determine what you will continue to experience IF you do the HeartWork to replace the fears that created them.

We all have fears. We are all humans walking around afraid of what someone else might do to us, worrying we may mess up, or that something might go wrong. Fear is part of the human condition. We can’t eliminate it, but we can learn to overpower it.

The trick is learning how to break through any patterns of fear and anxiety that are stopping you from living the life and creating the future you desire.

The crazy thing about fear is that the energy of fear is magnetic. When you are living in a space of fear around anything, you are energetically and subconsciously attracting that to you. This means that until you do the work to release the fear, you WILL continue to experience it.

So how do you release fear?

You can learn to release fear by going through our “In-the-Moment Fear Exercise. Trust us, making this exercise a practice you do all the time will change your life.

Moment of Fear Exercise

1. Recognize what got triggered inside of you.

Realize this: When you experience a fear, it isn’t you that got t triggered, something inside of you got triggered — a past experience, a fear, an anxiety that’s been developed over time. When that thing gets triggered, you can do 1 of 2 things.

You can…

a) Go into your automatic response of either blowing up or shutting down (it’s called fight or flight. We’re sure you’ve heard of it.)

b) STOP and recognize that something has been triggered and then move on to step 2 in the exercise.

Note: This acknowledgement happens in a split-second, so it does take some practice to gain the awareness to recognize the trigger in the moment.

2. Ask yourself: What just happened?

It’s important that you answer this question with only the facts about what actually happened, with no interpretation or analysis of the event(s) that just took place. It usually can be answered with as few as 3-10 words. Anything longer is a clue that you making what happened mean something.

3. Ask yourself: What did I make it mean?

What did you decide it meant when that guy you just went out with didn’t call the next day?

What did you make it mean when you saw your date going to the bathroom with his phone?

Did you create the idea that because he didn’t call you it means you’re not dateable?

Did you decide that because your date took his phone into the bathroom it meant he was texting another girl?

The majority of the time, whatever is upsetting you, robbing you of your peace, and/or causing you fear is not what actually happened. What’s upsetting you is whatever you made what mean — about him, you, them, it… everything!

4. Ask yourself: Is that what really happened?

Because our brain cannot tell the difference between what is actually happening and what we’re afraid might or might not be happening, this is the life-altering part of this exercise.

When you take what you made an experience mean and compare it to what actually happened, you start to see reality and the fear disappears.

Michelle was talking to a client the other day, and walking her through this exercise. A man had asked her what was wrong with her that she is in her 40’s and has never been in a long-term relationship. She made that experience mean that she is a failure in everything in her life, and that it’s never going to work for her.

As Michelle walked her through this exercise, she did what we all do: find ways to justify what we’ve made it mean. “But I haven’t been in a relationship, so I am a failure!” “My business isn’t working right now, and it never will!.

Michelle asked her, “Is ‘never’ happening right now?” “Does because it hasn’t’ worked mean it never will?”

Of course, the answer to these questions is “no,” and once she saw that, she started laughing and her desire to continue the journey in her business and dating was renewed.

What about you?

What do you want to experience in your life? What if you took this exercise and put it into action, practicing it over and over until you shifted what you are currently experiencing?

Overcoming your fears gives you POWER. It gives you absolute power to create anything you desire, in love and beyond.

Because we desire this for you, PLUS so much more, we have put together an incredible Pre-Black Friday offer that you can grab now! This Love Power Pack includes tickets to our 2020 Love Vision Live Event happening in December, as well as some swag to help you always remember that you are a fierce, feminine, and fabulous and that you have the power to create your love vision NOW.

Click here to learn more.

Have this be the last Christmas and New Years you spend alone? Come to this event and you may not even be alone this Christmas! How would that feel?

Don’t let your fears and your past stop you from creating the future you want, including the loving, passionate, extraordinary relationship your heart desires!

Are You Missing Your Opportunity For Love?

by heartsdesireintl | Nov 6, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Gratitude, heartache, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

Do you have “high standards” or “unrealistic expectations?”

Just think about that for a minute….

This is a HOT topic that we get asked questions about all the time because it can be confusing. We can trick ourselves into thinking we have high standards, when what we really have are unrealistic expectations that are leading to missed opportunities, heartache in relationships, and unnecessary drama.

And men don’t like drama! 😉

So… what’s the difference?

And how can you be sure you know where you are coming from?

Standards

Standards are aligned with your values. They are based on your beliefs, they are good for your life, and protect you from unnecessary harm and heartache.

Having standards in dating looks like not dating someone that does drugs or is addicted to alcohol. It also looks like dating someone who has integrity and does what he says he’ll do.

Standards come from inside of you.

Expectations

Expectations are things that you are “requiring” from someone else and are usually based on a “list” of criteria that you think a person should meet. They are preferences.

Expectations in dating looks like not dating someone who hasn’t gotten a college education or who doesn’t happen to be an entrepreneur. It looks like not dating someone who has/hasn’t been married before or who does/doesn’t already have kids. It also looks like not dating someone who’s an introvert or who isn’t over 6 feet tall.

In relationships, it looks like not appreciating the things your man does for you or always making him feel like he has to be a certain way. It looks like expecting your man to love you no matter how you behave, even when you’.

Expectations are something you’re looking for out there. They have nothing to do with who a person actually is, and everything to do with what you’ve made up about what certain things mean about them.

Expectations come from fear.

They come from what we saw as a child, what we’ve experienced in other relationships, or from an irrational or imagined fear.

So, think about it again… in your relationships, and dating are you coming from a set of standards or are you coming from a set of expectations?

How is that affecting your experience of love and relationships?

What is it costing you to have those unrealistic expectations of others?

What are you afraid is/isn’t going to happen if you don’t stick to your expectations?

We get it. We have both experienced this on both sides of the equation.

When Michelle was dating after her divorce, she was desperately trying to prove that there was nothing wrong with her. She’d experienced a lot of hurt in her past relationship and wasn’t going to go there again. So, she set expectations. He had to be older, he had to be established in his career, and he also had to be divorced with kids so he’d understand how she felt.

She set these expectations thinking she was just doing what was best for herself, but she was protecting and not allowing herself to actually be and get to know the men she was with, which led to a terrible dating experience!

If she’d stayed committed to those preferences, she would have missed out on being married to the amazing man she’s married to today, because he – who was younger, was in transition between careers, had never been married, or had kids – wouldn’t have even shown up on her radar, because he didn’t meet all of those requirements.

For me, I remember experiencing this in my marriage. By thinking that my way was the right way, I was constantly making my husband feel like he wasn’t enough. And, while the words, “You’re not enough” NEVER came out of my mouth and I truly thought I was communicating well and just trying to make him better, it left him feeling unhappy, unsure of himself, and disrespected.

It makes me emotional just thinking about how I made the man that I love more than anything, and who I promised to love no matter what, feel any of those things.

Now, what about you?

What are you currently experiencing in dating and in your relationships? And what do you WANT to experience?

If through reading, you’ve realized that maybe you’re coming more from expectations, it’s okay! You just need to look at that and ask yourself what’s the fear underneath it all that is stopping you from having the experience you want in relationships.

Because once you get to the bottom of the fear, you can start to build up from there.

During our Love Chat with the Love Twins this week, one of our past clients said this :

“Please listen to the Love Twins! Once I got rid of the superficial requirements for a man…like height, hair and even education!! I concentrated on how do i feel… and I found a man who treats me like a Queen. Thank you Gladys and Michelle your HeartWork… it works!”

We want you to experience the relationship of your dreams. To wake up every morning next to the person you love and who loves you in return.

Don’t let your expectations keep you from having that. Because the person you end up with might surprise you and that surprise will be the best gift you give yourself, IF you allow it to be!

(photo credit: https://onlineforlove.com/)

Do You Feel Confident or Desperate?

by heartsdesireintl | Nov 1, 2019 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Do you know anyone– maybe a girlfriend – who seems desperate when it comes to dating?

Have you ever been on a date with someone and you could just feel the desperation coming off of them? (Yes, men can put of these vibes, too!)

Maybe you’re the one that feels like you get weird when you’re interested in someone, and maybe you feel like, no matter how hard you try, all you ever do is push men away?

Think about this for a minute… Are you operating out of Desperation or Desire?

The feeling of desperation comes from FEAR.

You feel like it’s not going to happen for you, or that it’s going to be hard.

You worry about what to say, what not to say, why he’s not texting, if you should text first.

The truth is that you’re in a scarcity mindset, which has you think that every guy HAS to be the one, so you MUST make it work.

Sound familiar?

When you’re operating out of desire you feel FREE.

You’re aligned with what turns your heart on and you know you can be yourself and be loved for just that.

You’re clear about what you want and your behavior, words, and being all align with creating that.

Operating out of desire is how you manifest what you want. It is the only way that works.

When you stop operating out of fear and desperation, everything in life changes. Everything.

The thing is, you might not even realize that FEAR is what is driving you.

You may think that because you’ve made your checklist for your perfect man that you know what you want and that desire is driving you, but listen up, because this may surprise you.

And, by the way, desperation isn’t a single’s-only phenomenon. Women in relationships act out of desperation, too!

Acting out of desperation looks like checking his things, dropping hints, being controlling or asking leading questions to manipulate your guy or get him to say or do something you want.

In dating, it might look like pursuing a man in dating – calling him, asking him on dates, suggesting you meet up, “coincidentally” showing up at a place he might be in hopes of running into him – all of this is pursuing.

Desperation can even look like sleeping with a man too soon, getting into a relationship before you know his character and his values or compromising your own values in order to get with him.

In a relationship, it can look like having to approve his every decision, trying to guilt him into doing things, and even trying to get him to talk when he prefers to go into his man cave.

When you’re coming from this place, you are in a state of scarcity. You’re afraid you’re not going to get what you want, so you WORK HARD to make sure that you do.

Desperation has a VERY STRONG energy associated with it, and men can feel it a mile away!

So how do you shift into the easy, breezy, flowy, energy that is so attractive to be around?

Recognize when you’re in fear. As humans, we’re always going to feel fear. Power comes from recognizing that fears are only thoughts and that it’s the fears that are causing you to do the things you don’t want to do.
Be CRYSTAL-CLEAR about what you want. When you know what you want, you can see right away when something (or someone) doesn’t align with that. Act out of intention and make adjustments to your behavior, communication, boundaries, etc., so that everything is in alignment with what you want to create.
BONUS Tip: It is not enough to desire to be “in a relationship.” Being crystal-clear means asking questions like: What type of relationship do you want? What do you want to experience inside that relationship? How do you want to feel? What types of things do you want to do together? The clearer you are, the more powerful the intention is.
Recognize where you are not aligned, and shift. What are you doing that’s not aligned with that you want? What are the ways of you being that you get to create inside yourself in order to be aligned with your desires? Do you want to be able to be yourself and not feel judged inside of a relationship? Then BE yourself and don’t judge others. BE the love you want to see!

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