Are You Being Used?

Are You Being Used?

by | Jan 11, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz 

Are you afraid of being taken advantage of by men? 

Do you seem to consistently attract men that “need” something”?

Do you feel like men only want sex from you and that once they have gotten it, they disappear? 

Is your experience that men always need your “fixing”? 

If this seems to be your experience in dating and relationships, know that you are not alone. In our work with thousands of women, this is the #1 limiting belief that women have about men and relationships. 

And the thing is, for those with this fear, it is 100% real to them.

That’s why we wanted to share this message first thing in this new year!

If this is what you are experiencing or feel like you are experiencing — basically if this is your paradigm for relationships — it’s because you’ve had an experience in the past that created this belief. 

Warning signs that you have this belief are that:

  • you have the experience of over-giving and not receiving back a relationship
  • you feel as if you’re being used for sex
  • you’re helping a man “gets back on his feet,” or being used financially
  • you feel like you must be “needed” in order for someone to love you, and that if they don’t “need” you, then they will leave you

Think about your last 3-4 relationships? Was this showing up? 

If these signs have shown up in three or more of your past relationships, then there’s a pattern that needs shifting!

This pattern comes from a belief that you created because of a past experience. 

And that belief was most likely created years before your first date. 

One example of something you may have experienced as a child is having something happen that led you to believe you had to DO something EXTRA in order to be loved.

When you have this belief, you will attract men who need you, need help, need support, and you feel like you are always the one doing the helping or “fixing.” 

So ask yourself – 

Are you noticing these patterns in your relationships?

Are you having painful experiences in dating? 

OR are you holding yourself back and not having experiences with men because of this fear? 

The first step to shifting fears is to recognize that they are present, so be honest with yourself here. 

If this sounds like you, then start to pay attention to these things when you are dating… 

  1. Are you over-giving? Are you giving to another person to the point that you are not honoring yourself? 
  2. Are you taking time to really get to know someone? Are you holding back in a healthy way so you don’t give too much too soon? Are you giving yourself the opportunity of time to get to know someone so you know that can trust the other person and his intentions? 
  3. Are you looking for consistency in words and actions in the men you are dating?
  4. Are you feeling safe to be generous and give love freely because you are receiving in return? 

Sometimes you need help recognizing these patterns in your life. We want you to know that so much of the pain you experience in love, dating, and relationships is unnecessary and avoidable!  

If you feel like this is a belief you have, and you’re having a hard time recognizing or shifting the pattern, let us help you do the HeartWork to break past it. 

You get to be loved freely, and to be loved freely  in return. 

And you don’t have to do it alone. 

Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Are You Ready To Set Your Dreams On Fire?

Are You Ready To Set Your Dreams On Fire?

by | Dec 20, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Love, Ready to Love Again, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

 

Here we are at the closing of another year, and this year it’s a little bit of a bigger  deal. It’s also the closing of a decade! 

 As you look forward to ringing in this new year (and new decade!) let me ask you a question.

 And be honest with yourself here. 

 Are you where you thought you would be when it comes to love? 

 While talking to a woman the other day, she realized that it had been 11 years since she’d been in a relationship. It’s been an entire decade since she experienced love! 

 When we think about it in terms of years, it really puts it into perspective doesn’t it?!

 Now, I don’t tell you this or ask you the question to depress you or make you feel bad.

 I simply know that if the topic of love is important to you (and I know it is, because you’re reading this), then it’s probably something you gave some thought to as you entered into 2019. 

 And if you’re not where you thought you would be by now, it’s probably on your mind for 2020.

 There is a powerful opportunity for you here to have an honest conversation with yourself about where you are and where you want to go. It matters to you and it gets to happen this decade and even this year!!

 I invite you to go through the following exercise, RIGHT NOW! 

 Take out a piece of paper and take just a few minutes to answer the questions and think about what you yearn to create. Be crystal-clear about how you feel about what you want. 

 I heard recently, “Our actions are our prayers to heaven.” What are your actions saying about what you really truly want? 

 New Year, New Decade Personal Inventory Exercise 

1. Look at where you thought you’d be. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, where did you think you’d be in December 2019? 

Write it down. Be very clear and as descriptive as possible. 

Did you think you’d be in a committed, loving relationship? 

Did you think you’d be spending Christmas with someone you love? 

Did you think you’d be traveling with this person? 

Did you think your relationship would be more passionate by this time this year? 

Be very honest with yourself here. And remember: Our brains are designed to look for what’s going to protect you, not what will actually make you happy. So there’s no right or wrong answer here, just make sure you are being very honest with yourself. 

2. Where are you now, compared to where you thought you’d be? 

Is it the same? Better? Worse than you thought? 

Have you even thought about it this year? 

Have you distracted yourself with other things because it hurts too much to try? 

Do you feel like you’re okay, but really you’re just surviving because you don’t have what you really yearn for? 

Again, be really honest here. If you continue to make it “okay,” even if it’s not what you really want, nothing will ever change. 

3. Now that you’ve compared, honesty, where you thought you’d be to where you actually are… what’s missing? What’s in the gap? 

Get honest with yourself. Admit that you’re tired of it being this way. 

And look at yourself. What needs to shift? 

Get curious about what is in the way.

Note: It’s not that the guy is the thing that’s missing…. What gets to shift inside you so that you can create what you want to create in love?

4. The last step is to write your vision about where you want to be. 

Where do you want to be in December 2020? A year from now, what will you have created? 

What does it look like?

How does it feel to be in that kind of relationship?

How will you know that  you’re exactly in the place you want to be?

Write it down. 

Maybe what you write now is different from what you thought you wanted last year. That’s okay.

You’ve had experiences this year, you’ve grown, you’ve learned. 

Or maybe you haven’t and you feel stagnant. 

Either way, honor where you’ve come over the last year,  and based on where you are today, write what it is that you want to create now.

How did that feel? How was that exercise for you? 

We really hope you took the time to do it, because it’s powerful. It’s only in knowing what we want and seeing what’s in our way that we can overcome the blocks and create it! 

That’s why we’ve opened up just a few more Love Breakthrough Sessions on our calendars before the end of the year.  Because what’s in the way isn’t always something you can see on your own. Sharing your vision and your gaps with someone who can guide and give you the exact steps you can take to overcome the obstacles and truly create what you want can make all the difference between staying where you are now or actually being in the relationship you dream of at this time next year.. 

Make sense? 

That’s why we’re here. 

1) To be another set of eyes, eyes experienced in love, to really help you to see what’s in your gap. 

2) we’re here to help you get to where you want to be without having to experience some of the pain that we have experienced or that we’ve seen others experience. We get to coach you to create the love you desire and create it NOW. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Make 2020 the year you set your dreams on fire!

Releasing Toxic Emotions and Feeling Whole Again

Releasing Toxic Emotions and Feeling Whole Again

by | Dec 13, 2019 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

Are you really happy?

I ask because, many times women say they are happy when really, underneath, there are other things going on. This is so often what’s blocking them from finding love!

Now, I’m not talking about pretending to be happy. And I’m not saying that you can never be sad. Experiencing happiness, as well as sadness, are both parts of being human. As are feeling disappointed, jealous, angry, joyful, and apathetic. 

These are all human emotions. 

What I am talking about is when these emotions become your “emotional landing place” or your natural state. When feeling sad, angry, disappointed or apathetic become the place you seem to come back to, even after brief moments of happiness or joy, that’s when they’ve become “toxic emotions.” 

An emotion becomes toxic when you allow it to “settle in” and take home in your heart. When you have these toxic emotions that haven’t been worked through, they show up, and usually in ways you don’t like and that push love away. 

Last weekend, at our incredible 2020 Love Vision Event, we coached several women who were dealing with unresolved toxic emotions . When they were triggered, some shut down, others got visibly angry, some allowed the toxic emotions to take over how they reacted and responded, and others were unable to feel anything.  

And we coached them to feel, process, and release the toxic emotions. 

See, when a toxic emotion comes up, it’s usually triggered by a memory or thought of something upsetting.  The thing to remember is that it’s not the current situation that is “causing” the emotions to come up.  Those emotions are already there, under the surface, , so you must feel them so that you can then do the work of releasing them. 

So how do you release toxic emotions? 

1. Feel it. 

As I said, in order to begin the process of releasing toxic emotions, you must feel them. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re angry, punch your pillow. Allow the emotion to be present for a moment, so you can feel it. The problem comes when you bury it.

2. Process it. 

Ask yourself… “What’s causing this? What are the triggers? How is it showing up in other areas of my life? life? What impact is it having? 

Is it causing you to lash out? 

Are you relating to yourself a victim because of it? 

Is it causing you anxiety or depression or nervousness? 

Is it making it difficult for you to connect with people? 

Are people being able to notice the energy of the emotion that’s constantly around you? 

Another place to look to how toxic emotions  may be impacting you is in your body. As Louise Hayes taught in her book You Can Heal Your Body, our emotions have a way of showing up in our bodies. 

Have you suddenly gained or lost weight? Are you having unexplained aches and pains anywhere in your body? Are you having a hard time sleeping?  What is your body telling you? 

Also, look around you. Your life and your space are a reflection of what’s really going on inside you. Is your house a mess? Are you having a hard time keeping your desk organized? Do things seem to keep breaking around you? 

If you’re feeling like something’s off, do a personal inventory and ask yourself:  Where, energetically, am I in breakdown?  “What in my life is out of integrity?

These questions will help you take a self-inventory to see what’s actually going on beneath the surface.

3. Release it. 

Once you’ve  done the work to uncover and discover what is causing the toxic emotion and how it’s impacting you, you can then choose to let it go. You can release the emotion by seeing that you no longer need to experience this emotion.  Whatever triggered the emotion is usually no longer happening,  and you can choose to release it, rather than holding onto it and allowing it to consume you.

Happiness and lightness are what are attractive to others and what makes your body and soul feel good! We have emotions for a reason, and experiencing them is a human condition. 

The key is not being scared of them, wrapping yourself up in them, or indulging in them for too long.  Instead, allow yourself  to feel  them appropriately, process them, and release them so they don’t get stuck, become toxic, and stop you from having and experiencing the happiness and love your heart desires. 

If you’re dealing with toxic emotions and having trouble working through and releasing them, let us help you do the HeartWork to work and break through them.  You don’t have to let the toxic emotions rob you of the life and love you want.  And you don’t have to do this alone. Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

Yes, I want to break free from my toxic emotions!

You Get To Be Cherished.

You Get To Be Cherished.

by | Dec 6, 2019 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love

by Michelle Roza

 

Do you want to be cherished?
 

I don’t know about you, but that word just brings all the feels! 

To be cherished. What does that really mean? 

Literally, the word cherish means to hold dear, to show affection for, to cultivate care, and to harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely. 

Being cherished looks like being absolutely loved, cared for, and protected. 

So how do you attract the man that will not only cherish you, but cherish you forever? 

#1 – Believe You’re Worth It. 

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it forever, because it really is that important. 

The reason why we say it over and over is because I don’t think any of us walk around consciously thinking that we aren’t worth it. But, when you stop and honestly look at what’s underneath, do you really know that you deserve to be cherished? 

I know, for me, I remember when I didn’t believe.

On the surface, everything looked great, but, underneath, it wasn’t great at. Because I didn’t believe that I was worth it.

I never allowed myself to be seen by the men who I thought were really great. The high-quality, good character men, I just didn’t show up for. I always went one step below. 

Because that’s what I felt like I deserved. 

I felt so much shame about my divorce, about dating not working for me, and about being alone. I felt like my time was just about up to find love, and I was so desperate for love!

Can you relate? 

It wasn’t until I did the HeartWork – the internal work to release, heal, and let go of the layers of fear, shame and heartache – that things started to shift.

I started to feel better FOR REAL, so that’s what started being reflected out in the world, and that’s what I began attracting. 

I stopped attracting “not good”men and “not-good-for-me” men and started attracting those good guys that had the qualities that I desired

And I soon found Arnie. 

The #1 thing you MUST do in order to find the partner that will cherish you forever is to believe that you are worth it.

#2  – Make Yourself a Priority

You must make yourself a priority if you expect anyone else to. And it’s not just about doing your nails and your hair and looking physically attractive. It’s also not about buying yourself more “stuff.” 

Making yourself a priority is about spending time with yourself. Filling yourself up so that you aren’t looking to be filled by someone else. 

We all have big lives and sometimes we can end up putting ourselves at the bottom of the pile – and that doesn’t help anyone. 

Your way of being is the most attractive thing to a man (and everyone else). So make yourself a priority, so that you have light to give. 

#3 – Honor Your Word

If you want a man that will cherish, respect, and love you, then YOU must cherish you and respect you and love you. 

Honor your word. 

If you say you will go to bed at 10:00, go to bed at 10:00. 

If you say you’ll go to the gym at 7am, then get up and go to the gym at 7am. 

If you tell your kids that bedtime is 9pm, then put them to bed at 9pm. 

When you don’t honor your word, then others don’t know what they can count on your for. Worse than that, even YOU don’t know what you can count on yourself for. That breeds self-doubt,  and it’s all downhill from there. 

You will learn to not trust yourself, and you can’t trust a man if can’t trust yourself to choose the right man. 

Stop living your life based on your feelings, because your feelings change! Start living your life by your commitments, saying “this WILL be” and then making sure it is so. Do that, and see what changes!

You see, it really does begin with you. 

We may sound like a broken record, but it’s the absolute truth. 

I was talking to a client the other day who just got married!!! I was remembering one of our first conversations when we uncovered her belief that there was something wrong with her because she was in her 50’s and had never been married. She believed that it would have been better to have been divorced 3 times than to be her age and have never been in a long-term relationship. 

What a limiting belief! But can you relate? 

Once we uncovered that limiting belief and she did her HeartWork, she started showing up in the world differently. She was smiling again. She felt good! And she was no longer on a timeline. She knew that she deserved it and that it was on it’s way to her. 

She ended up attracting a man that she’d met decades before who came back into her life, and now they are happily married. 

It is possible if you just believe. 

So, if you really want to learn how you can start cherishing yourself and then attract the man that will cherish you forever then act NOW to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening this weekend!

Click here to grab your spot (only 2 left!)!

At this event, we’ll help you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for the love that your heart desires deeply,  and the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience it in 2020! 

There are only 2 spots left at this event, and we’d love one of them to be yours!

Remember:  It’s not just about getting a man to ask you out. It’s about BEing the irresistible woman that he decides he can’t live without. That’s when all your dreams will become a reality!

It’s Possible For You Too.

It’s Possible For You Too.

by | Dec 4, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, heartache, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

One of the pillars of what we teach –  something that’s absolutely fundamental to creating the passionate, intimate, connected, loving relationship that you desire – is having a crystal-clear vision of what you want. 

And we mean crystal-clear. Not just kinda-sorta knowing what you want. Not just having a list of expectations of what your man must have. And not just having it written it down, but still not really believing that you can have it. 

We’re talking about being able to see it, feel it, taste it, smell it, AND believe that it will happen. 

Without that level of clarity, you will settle for what you think you can get. 

We hear it from clients all the time, 

“What if this is the best I can do?” 

“What if I let this one go and have to wait another 10 years?!” 

“What if what I want is unrealistic?”

“What if it’s just not possible for me?”

I was talking with a client the other day who was telling me about the beautiful vision she has for love. It was a vision of fun and laughter and connection and joy. hen, in the middle of describing it to me, she stopped, and said, “I know, it sounds crazy. There’s no way this is possible. It’s too much” 

Was she asking for a man with 5 hands? No. 

Was she asking for a man that owned 5 islands? No. 

Was she asking for a man with 17 eyes. No.

Now, that is unrealistic (and a little absurd)! 

As we dug deeper, we discovered that a childhood (and lifetime) of feeling like there was never enough and that she was always asking for “too “was the reason she had this limiting belief. She realized what it was costing her to continue holding onto the belief that what she wanted was too much and not possible for her, and she decided that it was time to break through it NOW!

Desiring to have a relationship that is full of fun and laughter and connection and wonderful sex — none of that is too much. Everything about that is possible, AND it’s possible for you. 

Creating that vision and the reality of creating it comes from clarity.

Clarity asks the questions:

“What do I want to experience in the relationship of my dreams?” 

“What am I going to bring to the relationship so that I can experience that?”

“How can I BE the love that I want to see?” 

Clarity is not about knowing what qualities you want your man to have. It’s about knowing what you want to experience in the relationship of your dreams, and then BEing those things. 

BEing the respect you want to experience. 

BEing the love you want to receive. 

BEing the fun. 

BEing the passion. 

And what does BEing look like? 

Taking action. But not just any kind of action.

It means taking the kind of action that is aligned with your vision.

Having all the faith and clarity in the world will get you absolutely nowhere without taking action. 

A vision without action is nothing but a wish. And wishing is not a real strategy for getting what you want.

Which is why we want to invite you to our 2020 Love Vision  Workshop, happening in just a few days. We’l lbe walking you through a deep process to help you actually physically experience the clarity you are seeking. 

But it won’t stop there. 

You will walk away from the event, not just with a crystal-clear vision, but with a PLAN to carry it out. With the actual steps to make it a reality. 

Because it IS possible for you to create the love that you want in 2020. 

Click here to learn how to manifest the relationship you want.

And, in case you’re thinking that 2 days can’t make a difference in what’s possible for you for 2020, I want to share this with you:

Let’s go back to Christmas of 1998. I had just lost my husband in September, and I felt like I was walking through a fog. The holidays seemed so empty without him. I felt alone, and it was hard. 

Just one year later, Christmas 1999, I was in New York City but I wasn’t alone.  I was celebrating Christmas with Ric and both of our mothers. I’ll never forget when he brought out my gift (a beautiful purse) and was fussing about how he hoped I would like it. When I opened it up, I found a beautiful, custom-made engagement ring inside! We’d talked about getting married, so that part wasn’t a surprise. But to have it happen then, on Christmas Eve, with our moms there with us, I was elated!!

SO much can change in just one year. The difference between Christmas 1998 and Christmas 1999 was just one year, but it was day and night for me! 

Trust me when I say, everything you think can’t happen, but you dream might happen, CAN happen in just one year!

And it will, once you have the clarity and the action steps to create it. 

Click here to manifest the love you want in 2020!

Not Feeling Attracted To Anyone??

Not Feeling Attracted To Anyone??

by | Nov 22, 2019 | breakups, Coaching, Dating, Forgiveness, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Ready to Love Again, Romance

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have a relationship from the past that you haven’t fully let go of? 

Is there someone that is still holding a piece of your heart?  

Maybe it wasn’t even a recent break-up, maybe it’s been two years, three years or even ten years ago, and it’s still blocking you from moving forward in love. 

If this is you, we hear you! It can be so frustrating when you want to run freely forward without anything from the past holding you back,  but just seem to be stuck. 

If this is you, we know that you want to get unstuck (otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this right now), but you just don’t know how. 

The first step in letting someone from the past go is understanding how holding onto that person and relationship is impacting you now, in the present. Whenever there’s something from the past that’s still in your space, it won’t  allow you to move forward. 

And how else is it impacting you?

To uncover the impact the past is still having on you, first look at your results. 

What are you currently experiencing? 

Are you going on dates or are you holding back? 

If you are going on dates, are you enjoying the process? 

Look at your last couple of dates. Are there patterns that are presenting themselves? 

Is there something wrong with every single person you  go  out with? 

Are you not attracted to anyone? 

Do you feel disconnected, and, immediately during or after every date,feel like he’s definitely not the one?

No,  you’re not going to be attracted to or want to date  every single person you meet. It’s natural to not be interested in every single man you go on a date with. But, if it seems you aren’t feeling it for anyone then  you may be holding onto someone from the past.

Recently a client expressed frustration with this very thing. She said that while she’s dating, she finds herself comparing every single guy  to her ex. She said he was the best boyfriend and that it was the best relationship she’d ever had. I lovingly pointed out to her that it couldn’t have been “the best,” because they’re not together anymore, and that there was a reason for that. There’s a reason that it didn’t work out, and as long as she keeps romanticizing this past relationship and putting that man on a pedestal, she will never have space for the right man — the one who really will be the best!

Sound familiar? 

If you find yourself having this experience, it’s time to get curious. 

Ask yourself, 

What’s really going on here? 

Why am I not feeling connection? 

Why am I never attracted to anyone? 

What’s really holding me back?

Get curious  

You will start to discover your blind spots by saying, “I wonder…” 

“I wonder if I’m still holding onto the past?” 

“I wonder why I can’t let go?” 

“I wonder what that person represents for me?” 

“I wonder if I’m afraid to move on?”

When it comes to breakups, it  would be weird if you didn’t miss someone that you once spent time with, and it’s normal to take time to grieve. However, sometimes we think that the longer we grieve or the more time we stay stuck, the more validation we give to the relationship. But, how much more time do you want to waste staying safe and alone? 

It’s okay to love someone and let them go.

Letting someone go does not invalidate the love you shared with him, the memories you created together, who he is  as a person, or the lessons the relationship taught you.  

And, just because you shared an incredible love once, doesn’t mean you can never find it (or something even MORE incredible) again.

When I lost my first husband and then found Ric, I realized that there’s more than just one “The One.” There are multiple people on this planet that can make you happy and love you forever! 

But only if you are open to it. 

Only if you are willing to do the HeartWork to bring the past to a close, release it from your mind AND your heart, and open the door to welcome the new love that’s already waiting for you. 

I promise you, there’s a love out there that’s even bigger and better than that person from the past. Someone even bigger and better than you can even imagine. And someone who wants to spend his life with you!

Because of this, Michelle and I would love for you to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening in just a few weeks!

Click here to say good-bye to the past and create a new and lasting love!

At this event, we’ll be helping you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for love that your heart deeply desires.

We’ll show you the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience that love  right now! 

The process we’ll be taking you through is hands-on, experiential, and transformative. 

We’re going to help you create your Love  Vision, teach you HOW to actually live into it so you can create it in real life in 2020! 

The absolute truth is that in order to open up to a new chapter, you have to complete the past. You take what worked and what didn’t work about that past relationship, release your attachment to the person, take whatever serves you into the future, and let go of everything else.  

It’s time for you to let go of the past and open up to the love that is already waiting for you.

Click here to create the love you want in 2020!