by heartsdesireintl | Feb 6, 2015 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
The other day I shared with you one of “The 3 P’s” most important to a man: Providing for the woman he loves.
Today I’d like to focus on the second “P”: Protecting the woman he loves.
It may seem a little old-fashioned to think that a man feels that he needs to “protect” the woman he loves. After all, we women have become very independent and self-sufficient, and we can take care of ourselves – physically, emotionally, and financially.
However, when you think back to the beginning of time, men were the providers and protectors. If they didn’t protect the tribe, people died. It was just that simple.
That need to feel like he’s capable of protecting you from harm is inherent in a man. When he has the experience that he’s not able to prevent something bad from happening to you, he may very well react with what appears to be anger. And, in the moment, it may seem like that anger is directed at you.
I remember one day I was sharing with my husband about a business deal. I had shared an idea and made a verbal agreement with someone about a program that we were going to partner together to create and launch. Eventually, it turned out that the person went ahead with the idea without me and offered me a role in the project, but not a full partnership. I, of course, was disappointed and hurt, and shared these feelings with my husband. I shared that I still wanted to be part of the project, because I believed in it, but I was very hurt that I had been informed about the change in plans after the fact.
All of a sudden, I felt like I was being “attacked.” Instead of comforting and encouraging me, he began yelling and telling me that I would be a fool to continue working with this person who obviously took an idea we had brainstormed together and ran with it on her own, without discussing anything with me. He kept getting louder and angrier, and I was completely confused and felt as if he was rubbing salt in my wounds.
Rather than say something I would regret, I went upstairs and laid in my chaise lounge chair, crying. On top of being hurt, I was angry! Why was he taking this out on me?
Then I asked myself a question that has helped me to move from anger to understanding in the past.
What would have him say something like that to me?
See, my husband loves me, and I know that he wants to protect me from harm, not cause me harm. As soon as I asked myself that question (What would have him say something like that to me?”), I was able to see it as clear as day: He was trying to protect me!
See, in my husband’s eyes, someone had let me down, hurt me, cost me what could have been a great financial opportunity, and left me out of a partnership I had been so excited about being a part of.
However, worse than all of that, there was nothing he could do to prevent or “fix” it for me.
He felt helpless because he didn’t and couldn’t protect me!
After I moved from anger to compassion, I then moved into a space of gratitude!
I was so grateful that my husband was so loving and protective – even if he didn’t express it the way I would express it.
I walked downstairs, stood behind the couch he was sitting on, leaned down, and whispered in his ear, “I get it. You’re upset because you want to protect me from being hurt or taken advantage of. Thank you for your love.”
He turned around and looked me in the eye. I don’t know if it was shock and awe at the fact that I’d figured it out, or just plain and simple relief that I got what he’d been trying to express, but I’ll never forget the look in his eyes. He just said, “I am upset. I love you and don’t like seeing you sad or hurt.”
I walked around the couch, sat next to him, and nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck and cried a little bit more.
Nothing had been resolved, but I felt loved, protected and at peace, no matter what ended up happening with the business project! I had my hero next to me, and, right then and there, that was all that really mattered!
Think about it:
Has there been a time when you felt like your husband or boyfriend wasn’t being supportive of your dream or idea?
Consider that he wants more than anything to see you realize your dream and be happy, and is afraid you’ll be disappointed if your idea fails. And, because there’s nothing he can do to stop that from happening, he tries to discourage you from getting your hopes too high.
Has there been a time when he’s gotten angry at you for being friends with or associating with someone who has hurt or disappointed you in the past?
Consider that he hates seeing you sad and upset, so he gets angry, and directs that anger at you, because he’s afraid you’ll get hurt and disappointed again. And, because there isn’t much he can do to prevent that from happening, he tries pointing out how foolish it is to trust someone who was capable of hurting or lying to you in the first place.
Regardless of what your specific situation is, if you can try to listen for the love behind the words of anger, it’s very possible that you will also hear his his desire to keep you safe.
While you may not understand his approach, if you can listen for and hear his love and concern and his desire to protect you, you, too, will be able to move from upset, to compassion, to gratitude that you have a man at your side who wants nothing more than to be your hero!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Dec 18, 2014 | Dating, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
During the next few weeks, many of us will be celebrating a variety of different holidays. This time of the year can be very stressful if we are not intentional about handling all of the events, tasks, and celebrations with love. grace, and ease!
Since I don’t want to add too much more to your “Holiday To-Do List,” I came up with a short-but-sweet list of things you can do to get through the holidays feeling love, peace, and joy! Whether you are single or in a relationship, you’ll want to have this list handy during the next few weeks!
If You’re Single During the Holidays…
The holidays can feel especially lonely, if you don’t have someone special to share them with. It can seem like everyone else has someone to cuddle and laugh with. You may be attending parties and events where there are couples and not too many (if any) singles present, and you may hear that ever-dreaded question about when you plan to settle down, get married, and start a family!
If you’re single during the holidays, here are some things that can help you get through them with hope and a smile!
- Accept as many invitations as possible for dates, holiday parties and social events. While what you really want is to share these days with that someone special, it’s helpful to surround yourself with family and friends who make you smile and bring out the best in you. Plus, you never know who you are going to meet at your cousin’s tacky sweater party or the last-minute holiday work party you were invited to. Resist the urge to want to be alone (unless you need to take a break), and accept as many invitations as possible. This goes for dates, too! Some people are “selective” about who they will see and spend time with during the holidays. While you may not want to bring someone you don’t know very well to your family gathering, going to a party or put to dinner is a great way to have fun and get to know someone new! (Plus, as I said before… you never know!)
- Plan some girls’ nights out with your friends. Aside from attending events solo or with a date, be intentional about spending time with your girlfriends. Whether they are single or in relationships, I promise you that everyone wants to disconnect and just have fun for the sake of having fun! Don’t wait until the last minute, since it may take some creative thinking to have everyone arrange their schedules. Also, let your friends know that this is your way of creating a new holiday tradition that is stress-free, feminine, and fun!
If You’re in a Relationship During the Holidays…
Sharing the holidays with someone is nice, but it can also bring about feelings of stress, especially if you’re trying to create time to spend with two families! It can be even more stressful if you are not close to or don’t have a great relationship with your partner’s family.
If you are married or in a relationship during the holidays, here are some things that can help you get through them feeling closer to your partner!
- Remember that your partner may want to be with his family just as much as you’d like to be with yours. It can be tricky to fit in time to be with both families over a short amount of time, especially if one or both families don’t live in your city or the same city. Create a plan together, but, rather than telling him what you “should do,” let him know what you would like to do and then ask him what he’d like to do. See if there is a way to create a win-win situation. If in-person visiting isn’t possible, then plan a video chat family reunion, where you can all share some treats as you speak over Skype or Facetime. Block out enough time so that no one feels rushed and you can really connect with one another. If you’ve sent and received gifts from distant family members, plan to open them when you’re on camera so that you can enjoy the moment together!
- Remember to share some “couple time.” Let’s be honest. Being with family and in-laws can be really stressful. Make some time to disconnect from the crowd and just share some alone time with your partner. If you’re visiting with or having family visit you, consider that you may have some readily available babysitters to watch the kids or pets so that the two of you can sneak away for a romantic walk or dinner! Plan your time for when the kids will be sleeping so that you don’t have rush back and you can stay out as long as you like with your honey!
Whether You Are Single or In a Relationship.
- Remember to put yourself at the top of your holiday list. Take time to practice self-care by scheduling time to relax and replenish your mind, body, and soul. Yes, it’s the season for giving, but you need to give to yourself, too. If you are going to be traveling to visit family members, bring some of your favorite books and music with you, and see if there is a gym nearby where you can exercise to get some of those endorphins moving! This also gives you a reason to spend some time alone, especially if being with family is becoming a bit too much to handle (Don’t feel guilty… We all have that one – or two, or three – family member we need a time out from!) Also remember to ask for help if you need it. This will help you feel more grateful and less exhausted (and resentful), and gives others a chance to do something for you, too!
- Be Present. Getting caught up in all of the activities, visits, and shopping can actually rob you of actually BEing with your loved ones. If you’re hosting the holiday get-together, don’t worry about planning out every single moment of the day. Allow for everyone (including yourself) to have some downtime. As you’re sitting around the table, take a moment to really look at and appreciate each person in the room. If you find yourself getting irritable or feeling exhausted, take a time out so that you can recharge (see the tip above) and so that you can really BE with the people you love!
- Begin thinking about what you’d like your love life and relationship to look like in 2015. As we begin to close out this year and move into next year, take a moment to take inventory of your love life.
If you’re single, ask yourself –
- What do I want my experience of dating to be like?
- What do I want the experience of being in a relationship to be like?
- What kind of girlfriend do I want to be?
- When I take a moment to stop and reflect on December 31st next year, how will I describe myself and my love life/relationship?
If you’re married or in a relationship, ask yourself –
- What do I want the experience of being in a relationship to be like?
- What do I want to see more/less of in my relationship?
- When I take a moment to stop and reflect December 31st next year, how will I describe myself and my relationship?
by heartsdesireintl | Nov 4, 2014 | Dating, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success
by Gladys Diaz
November is one of my favorite months of the year because it seems as if most of us are more present to the blessings we have in our lives. The more present we are to our blessings, the more gratitude we feel, the more we begin to see more of what we want in our lives. It’s pretty amazing the way that happens!
If you’re reading this, it’s likely that there is one thing in particular you desire to have more of in your life: LOVE!
Love is one of our purest and deepest desires because you are a loving being. You were made of love, to love, and for love. It’s simply who you are!
During the month of November, Michelle and I have partnered up with some amazing women who are just as committed as we are to guiding you to get more of what you want in your life! And, because we are all about you creating and experiencing the life and love your heart desires, we’re not keeping it only to attracting more romantic love into your life.
Over the next several weeks, we’ll be sharing opportunities for you to participate in both live and virtual events that will enable you to:
- Access more of what you want through practicing gratitude on a daily basis
- Manifest more abundance and success in all of the areas of your life
- Create harmony between your professional, personal, and family life
- End 2014 powerfully so that you can move into 2015 with grace, ease, and equipped to fulfill the desires of your heart
And, of course, we’ll continue to provide you with the tools, skills, and solutions that guide you toward creating the extraordinary life and love you desire and deserve!
Now, we intend to give to our hearts’ content, and we want you to prepare yourself to receive.
We realize that may sound strange, but the truth is that receiving – particularly when you are being given more than you feel you desire or deserve – can sometimes feel uncomfortable.
Rather than receiving the blessings coming to us, we tend to block or push them away out of guilt, fear, or habit.
That’s why it’s important to prepare yourself and your heart to receive!
Here are a few steps to help prepare yourself to receive all of the gifts, information, and invitations we will be sharing with you, along with the other blessings that are coming your way!
- Remember that you are worthy of every gift, offer of assistance, compliment, and smile you receive. You are a beautiful loving being, and, because of that, you attract beauty and love. So, if you begin to feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable, or “weird” when you are begin given gifts of any kind, simply tell yourself: I am a beautiful, loving being, and I am worthy of all of the beauty and love I am attracting and receiving in my life!
- Remember that there are no strings attached to the gifts, offers, compliments, or smiles you receive. Part of what makes receiving difficult is that we somehow feel like we’ll owe the other person something of equal or greater value in return. That kind of thinking is associated with a feeling of unworthiness and keeps us from receiving what others freely want to give us. So, if you begin to feel those strings getting attached, cut them immediately by repeating the affirmation above, and add: I openly and willingly receive the loving gifts and gestures others freely give me.
- Remember to be grateful for everything! Whether you’re in a space right now where you feel like you don’t have enough of what you want or need, or you are relishing in a feeling of abundance, gratitude is the doorway to experiencing more happiness, peace, love, and everything else your heart desires. So, make it a practice to take just a few minutes each day to just take inventory of the blessings in your life and express gratitude for at least 5 things every day. You can write them down, or simply say them aloud or to yourself. However you choose to express it, just take a few moments at the beginning and end of each day to say, “I am grateful for…”
- Bonus: Remember to be grateful in anticipation of receiving what you want! One of my favorite practices of all time is expressing gratitude in anticipation of receiving what I want. After expressing thanks for the blessings that already surround me, I begin to express thanks for the blessings that are making their way to me. So, if you want to meet the man of your dreams, already give thanks for the fact that he is making his way to you. If you are married or in a relationship, express thanks for the love that is growing between the two of you and for all of the beautiful memories you will create together. If there is something you desire for your family, career, or business, give thanks in advance for those blessings that are being manifested. And, as you do this, allow yourself to actually feel and experience the love, happiness, freedom and peace in anticipation of receiving the blessing. I promise you, this will be life-changing!
If you practice these steps, you will begin to experience the joy of receiving. And, in doing so, you also give the people who are giving to you the joy of having their gift received and appreciated! It creates a beautiful cycle of giving, receiving, and appreciation that keeps growing and multiplying the blessings!
So, take a deep breath…
Open your heart…
And receive the love and blessings that are coming your way!
And, just because we love surprising you with gifts, here’s a sneak peek into the events you can take part in over the next few weeks!
- Redefining Womanhood Series (Launches November 10, 2014): Discover 21 Creative Solutions for paving your own path to success in work, marriage, and parenting from top female leaders who are paving the way and redefining what it means to be “A Successful Woman” in today’s world! Click here to reserve your spot!
- 10 Days of Gratitude Video Series (Launches November 20, 2014): Join Mia Saenz as she hosts 10 inspirational interviews all focused on the incredible power that gratitude has on our lives! (Registration link coming soon!)
Remember: Give thanks… Believe… Receive!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Aug 27, 2014 | Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
I’ve been going back and forth about whether or not to write this post, and I decided that, since it’s been on my mind so much, I need to.
Last Friday I attended the funeral of one of my very first clients. She was a young, vibrant woman who was into health and fitness, and left behind two beautiful teenage sons, and a loving husband.
When I first heard that she had passed away, I couldn’t believe it. She had done everything in her power to fight the cancer that was attacking her body, but never her spirit. She had thousands of people praying for and encouraging her. She was so loved that in just two days, her friends and family raised almost all of the $30,000 that was going to go toward helping pay for her to participate in a completely natural and holistic healing program.
Unfortunately, she passed away the day she was supposed to travel to the center to begin her treatment.
As I walked through a store the following day, I found myself hurrying to pay and get to my car because I knew I was about to break down in front of everyone. I just kept thinking about her and the time we spent working together when she attended one of my courses. I thought about how hopeless she felt at the beginning of the course. I remembered her sighing heavily and saying, “I don’t even know if there is hope for us” (referring to her and her husband’s marriage).
She wasn’t the “easiest” client. Almost every suggestion I made was met with resistance and a reason why it wouldn’t work for her and her husband. There were times when she felt hopeless, where she didn’t feel like doing the exercises I’d assign between sessions, and where I wondered if she would come around. I worked with her with loving compassion, because I know how scary it can be to get your hopes up when you wonder if things will ever really change.
Over the past five years we didn’t keep in touch very often, except for a few phone calls and commenting on and liking one another another’s Facebook posts. I did, however, always smile when she would post a picture of her and her husband. I’d observe their smiles, their eyes, and their body language. I could tell they were happy together, and it made me smile, too!
It was during that walk from the store to my car that it hit me that, while I hadn’t been able to do anything to stop the cancer from taking her life, because of the work we did together, she and her husband got to experience five more years together – five happy years together. I smiled through my tears as I realized that those five years may not have been possible, and that, instead of dying inside of a sad or broken marriage, she had left this world knowing that she had loved and been loved by her husband.
His eulogy of her was beautiful. He spoke of his wife, lover, and friend. He challenged us to live our lives as she did, trying to make this world a better place. Having lost my first husband, I couldn’t help feeling my heart break for him as I thought of painful days to come as he works through his grief and the reality of her not being here any longer begins to set in.
But I also thanked God that I had the opportunity to make a difference for him and his wife. That, in some small way, I was able to help them experience and share their love for just a little bit longer.
As I sat by the ocean after the funeral, thanking God for my husband and kids and the gift that it is to be alive and love and be loved by them, I thought about what her husband said about living our lives to make a difference in this world. I thought about all of the women I’ve worked with and who I’ve been able to make a difference for, and said a prayer of thanks for them. I thought about all of the women out there who haven’t had the courage to reach out for help as she did, and I prayed they’d find the strength to do so. And I thought about the difference there is still to make!
I don’t know where you are right now in your love life. I don’t know if you’ve begun to give up hope on whether you’ll ever be able to have the type of loving relationship you dream of and your heart desires. I don’t know what it’s going to take for you to gather the courage to reach out for support so that you can begin to make that dream a reality.
What I do know is that tomorrow is not promised and that continuing to wait, expecting for things to change on their own, isn’t going to have you create and experience the love and happiness you truly want.
So, just as I did that day by the ocean, I’m saying a prayer for you today and hope it moves you to take one step in the direction of your dreams.
And, as for my former client, I know that wherever you are, you are radiating love, beauty and joy. Thank you for allowing me to make a small difference in your life. I love and will miss you! Rest in peace and know that you are loved!
I sent this message to my community today and was overwhelmed by the emails that came in response — women sharing what opened up for them as they read the message.
What about you? Has anything begun to open up for you? If so, please share it with us in the comments below. We love hearing from you!
P.S. If you’re moved to talk and take that first step, you can always reach out and set up a time to talk with me so that I can help you get started on making your dreams come true.
by heartsdesireintl | Aug 12, 2014 | Coaching, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
In June I had the opportunity to be interviewed by friend and colleague, Gina Hussar. She was hosting The “IT” Factor Master Class I invited you to attend. The other day, as I was listening to the recording of the interview, I thought, “Everyone in our community needs to hear this! I need to share this with them!”
Gina has been generous enough to allow me to share this short interview with you so that you can eavesdrop on our conversation! I invite you grab something with which to take notes and soak up some of the tips and secrets that have lead me to having the life, business, and relationship my heart desires!
In this interview, I share:
- My story – which was not always “pretty” or easy – of how I came to be where I am today, which is where I believe heart, body, and soul is where I was created to be!
- How our book 30 Days and 30 Ways to Fall In Love with YOU! was created
- Universal Values for Success in life, business, and love
- One of my favorite rituals, which has gotten and still gets me through some of the scariest moments of my life!
I hope you enjoy this interview and that you’ll share with me the what you feel were you biggest take-aways you will use in your own life!
Click below to listen to this life-changing interview
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
You can learn more about Gina and the amazing work she does by visiting her website: 30secondstopeace.com
by heartsdesireintl | Aug 5, 2014 | Dating, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, Love, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
I’m sitting here, writing from our vacation home, feeling happy, relaxed, and so blessed! The cruise I had been Hopefully Anticipating* was a dream-come-true for all of us, and we had a wonderful time!
Aside from all of the fun family things we did with the kids, Ric and I took advantage of the on-ship child care center and were able to sip champagne together, talk, share a couples’ massage, and be “just us” for a little while. Having that couple time is so important to keeping the love alive in our relationship.
Now, before you begin to thinks that everything was “perfect,” I can tell you that it was not!
The day we arrived at our vacation home, I was disappointed, to say the least! The 2-bedroom apartment was absolutely breath-taking, but after being told that it wouldn’t be ready for several hours because it was being cleaned, as I walked around unpacking and putting things away, I noticed that it was anything but clean and had to call housekeeping and ask them re-clean the apartment.
Then, at about 9:30pm I kept hearing the sound of running water. I ran into the master bathroom to find the toilet was overflowing and there was about an inch of water running through the entire huge bathroom and that the water was beginning to seep into the master bedroom carpet! I was horrified and started freaking out, calling to my kids to bring me every dry towel they could find!
After figuring out how to turn off the water and calling housekeeping and maintenance again, I did what I could to contain the flood while I waited for someone to come rescue me! When my husband came in and saw me cleaning up, he said nothing, but the look on his face said it all, and I knew he had gone to complain that I was cleaning up a mess on vacation. I have to say that in the midst of the panic, I was so glad to know he had my back.
A few minutes later he came back and told me not to stop cleaning up, that he’d handled it and they were sending people over. Soon, our apartment was swarming with people who were cleaning, drying, and moving mountains for us to get moved to another apartment (after they had told my husband that there weren’t any other apartments available for the rest of the week)!
Thirty minutes later, we were in another beautiful apartment, overlooking the golf course and my kids were tucked snuggly in their beds!
I won’t lie. There were moments where my mind when to “the dark side” I’m human and I was upset and disappointed by the circumstances. There was a moment where I found myself thinking that our vacation had been “ruined.” I immediately stopped myself and began thinking of the cruise we had just experienced, the fact that this was just a few hours out of our 11 days of vacation, and all of the reasons I have to be grateful! Immediately, my mood shifted and I was soon able to fall into a deep and peaceful sleep next to my hero!
Life is not always going to turn out “perfectly.” Sometimes things happen that are outside of your control. It’s easy (and tempting) to allow those circumstances and events to “ruin” things for you.
You can choose to make a bad date or a series of unsuccessful dates or relationships “ruin” you chances for experiencing love and happiness.
You can choose to have your unrealistic expectations “ruin” a relationship with a great guy.
You can choose to have a flooded bathroom ruin an otherwise wonderful vacation.
Or you can make another choice.
You can choose to not allow circumstances and unmet expectations dictate how you feel.
You can choose to focus on all of the good in your life and feel and express gratitude for it.
You choose the attitude with which you handle the circumstances that come your way.
I’ve found that gratitude is one of the most powerful practices for dealing with life’s unexpected twists and turns. When you switch your focus from the things you don’t have, the things that seem to be going wrong, and results that aren’t quite what you’d hoped for, while none the actual circumstances may change, everything seems to appear different!
You can hear more about how I use a ritual of gratitude to create the life of my dreams in an interview I’ll be sharing with you later this week!
But, for now, I’m signing off because I have two beautiful pairs of brown eyes looking at me with Hopeful Anticipation*, waiting for me to take them to the theme park!
*If you didn’t read the article on living life in Hopeful Anticipation*, you can read it here.
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
