by Michelle Roza

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where you feel like you’re doing all the work? 

Maybe you’re the one planning all the dates, paying for things, or consistently initiating conversations.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

This dynamic is a common pattern for highly driven, successful women who are ready for a real connection but feel stuck with a passive partner.

On this week’s Love Chat With The Love Twins, we revealed a crucial “energy shift” that can change everything.

This shift is about understanding the difference between the energy that makes you a powerhouse in your career and the energy needed to build true intimacy in a relationship.

Career vs. Connection 

As a high-achieving woman, you’ve mastered the art of being in your masculine energy. You’re a do-er, a leader, and a strategist. 

This energy has made you wildly successful, but that same energy that works well in building careers is the exact opposite energy that’s needed to build true intimacy.

The qualities that drive success in the boardroom, like control, management, and a focus on accomplishment, are often repellants in the heart of a relationship.

The need for control is one of the biggest roadblocks to intimacy. 

Psychology Today shared that the “active woman, passive man” dynamic highlights this. This “pursuer-distancer” pattern is where one partner’s active energy pushes the other to retreat.

• In this pattern, one partner, the pursuer, seeks greater closeness, connection, and communication, often by taking an active, controlling, or even demanding role in the relationship. 

This person typically initiates conversations about feelings, plans, and the state of the relationship.

• The other partner, the distancer, responds to this pursuit by pulling away. This withdrawal can manifest in various ways, such as emotional unavailability, silence, avoiding difficult conversations, or becoming passive in decision-making. 

The distancer may feel overwhelmed or crowded by the pursuer’s intensity, leading them to retreat in an effort to maintain a sense of personal space and autonomy.

If you’ve ever had the experience of pursuing a man and him pulling away, this explains that dynamic perfectly. 

So, if you find yourself falling into this pattern… What can you do to shift? 

The Power of Receiving and Allowing

To attract and build a relationship with a high-quality man, the key is to shift from a mindset of “doing” to a state of “receiving and allowing.” 

This doesn’t mean you become passive or helpless. Instead, it’s about creating an openness that magnifies your feminine qualities.

It’s the difference between trying to control the outcome and allowing someone else to show up for you.

For many women, a sense of accomplishment and validation comes from how much you do, however, this can lead to burnout and resentment when applied to relationships. 

I remember when I was single and working in corporate America, I found myself doing everything in my personal life and my career. I overgave, even sending emails at 1 a.m. in the morning. 

Others thought I had everything together, but inside I ended up resentful and completely burnt out. 

Once I learned how to stop operating in this constant “doing” mode, I created the space for a genuine partnership to enter my life.

Beyond the Checklist: From Criteria to Connection

Another pattern many successful women fall into is managing the relationship’s timeline and making it about criteria instead of connection. 

You might find yourself evaluating a man based on a checklist of accomplishments or things. Does he have a good enough job, does he drive a certain type of car, is he more than 5 inches taller than me?

The real benchmark of a quality man and genuine relationship is how he makes you feel.

Focusing on the outside things is a subtle but powerful way of staying in control, but it often prevents you from being truly wooed and courted.

A high-quality man is not intimidated by your success, he’s looking for someone who’s real, who feels, and who allows him to take the lead. He wants to experience your openness and see that you can let down your guard.

When you’re dating, focus on how you feel when you’re together, what he brings out in you, and how much you enjoy being in his presence. 

The Right Man Will Celebrate You

The great news is that you don’t need to shrink back from your power or ambition. 

A real man needs space to step up, but he won’t be threatened by your success. In fact, the right man will celebrate your ambition. He’ll be attracted to your drive and confidence, but he’ll also cherish your vulnerability.

The recipe for true availability, the kind that magnetizes the right partner is: 

Ambition + Vulnerability = Availability

Ambition is the driving force that propels you forward in your career and life. It’s the beautiful, powerful part of you that a quality man will be attracted to.

Vulnerability, on the other hand, is the courage to show your true self, imperfections and all. It’s the willingness to be seen and to trust. 

When you combine your drive and your openness, you become truly available, not just in the sense that you’re “on the market,” but that you’re emotionally and spiritually ready to receive love. 

This is the recipe for true partnership, because it allows a man to see all of you and fall in love with the real you, not just the polished, professional version.

By moving from a mindset of control to a focus on connection, you’ll unlock the real connection you’ve been searching for. 

It’s about trusting a man to show up, allowing him to take the lead, and giving yourself permission to be both a powerful woman in the world and a deeply cherished partner in love.

This is the ultimate energy shift. 

I hope we made it seem simple here, but we know it’s not always easy to shift a lifetime of habits. 

What if the change you’re craving in your love life is just one brave step away? 

If you’re tired of feeling like you’re doing all the work and are ready to experience the deep, connected partnership you deserve, book a complimentary Love Breakthrough Call. 

This is your chance to talk through your specific situation, get clarity on what’s holding you back, and create a personalized plan to unlock real connection.

Click here to book your call now, and let’s get you on the path to a love that feels as successful and fulfilling as the rest of your life.