Mythbusters! How to Build a Relationship Without Losing Who You Are
by Michelle Roza
Do you have a fear of losing yourself in a relationship?
You’re not alone. It’s one of the biggest fears many women have when it comes to love.
You’ve heard the stories, seen it happen to friends, and maybe even lived it yourself:
You start off strong, confident, and vibrant, and then somewhere along the way, you find yourself bending, compromising, and shrinking just to keep the relationship going. Before you know it, you’re playing the role of someone else—someone who’s not the real you.
It’s a story as old as time, but here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be YOUR story.
This week, we debunked the myth that being in a relationship means losing yourself. (If you missed this week’s LIVE Love Chat With The Love Twins, click HERE to Watch the Replay!)
Because the truth is, real love doesn’t ask you to give up who you are. In fact, it allows you to become even MORE of who you are.
The Myth: Losing Yourself in Love
There’s a lot of nonsense out there about what it means to be in a relationship.
You might have heard that being in love means sacrificing who you are, giving up your dreams, or becoming half of a whole.
Well, we’re here to tell you it’s a total myth.
You don’t have to give up who you are to find love; in fact, holding on to your values, your quirks, and your dreams is what creates a magnetic pull for the right kind of love.
The Truth: The Right Relationship EXPANDS You
Research shows that the right relationship is one where both partners grow and expand.
A study from Carnegie Mellon University found that people in supportive, loving relationships are more likely to take on new challenges, pursue their personal goals, and grow as individuals.
They’re healthier, happier, and more confident. And yes, this applies to both men and women!
When you’re with the right partner, you don’t lose your identity; you enhance it.
You become more of who you are. In the right relationship, you don’t have to hide parts of yourself or settle for less. Instead, you and your partner grow together, enriching each other’s lives.
Healing the Patterns That Created This Fear
But we get it: there’s a reason this fear exists.
Maybe you’ve been in relationships in the past where you did lose yourself. You might have changed your appearance, put your dreams on the back burner, or even let go of your core values just to keep the peace.
That’s not your fault; it’s a pattern that many women fall into, often without realizing it.
The key to breaking this pattern is to heal the wounds that created it. You see, when we don’t fully love and accept who we are, we look for validation in our partners. We let their opinions and desires dictate our actions, and slowly but surely, we lose sight of ourselves.
To break free, you need to do the inner work: recognize where these fears come from and choose to let them go.
At the Irresistible Woman LIVE 3-Day Event, we dive deep into uncovering these patterns and fears that have kept you from showing up as the woman you truly are. Because when you understand where these fears originated, you can rewrite your story and step into a new chapter—one where you create a relationship that honors YOU.
The Difference Between Independent, Co-dependent, and Interdependent Relationships
Now, let’s break down the different types of relationships, so you know what to aim for and what to avoid.
- Independent Relationships: In these relationships, each partner operates in their own bubble. There’s little sharing, support, or deep connection. While independence is important, when taken to an extreme, it can lead to loneliness and emotional distance.
- Co-dependent Relationships: This is where you lose yourself. You become overly reliant on your partner for validation, support, and even your sense of identity. You bend over backward to meet their needs, often at the expense of your own. It’s an unhealthy dynamic that can feel suffocating and draining.
- Interdependent Relationships: Ah, this is the sweet spot! Interdependence means that you and your partner are strong individuals who choose to support, love, and grow with each other. You don’t need each other to be whole, but you choose to share your lives and lift each other higher. You maintain your individuality while building a life together.
Interdependence is where love truly thrives, and it’s where you can grow without losing yourself. It’s about being two whole people who come together to create something even more beautiful!
Living Your Values: The Key to Lasting Love
Remember the movie Runaway Bride? Julia Roberts’ character didn’t even know how she liked her eggs because she always adapted to the preferences of whichever man she was with. She’d completely lose touch with her own desires and values. Sound familiar?
When you don’t know what you stand for, you’re easily swayed by others’ opinions. And in relationships, this is a recipe for disaster.
But when you’re confident in who you are and live your values consistently, you not only feel more empowered, but you also attract a partner who loves you for exactly who you are.
Living your values means knowing what’s important to you—whether it’s honesty, adventure, kindness, or growth—and standing by those principles, even when it’s not easy.
When you do this, you’ll naturally attract someone who respects those values and lives their own as well. The right man won’t want you to change; he’ll love you for who you are and join you on the journey of life!
Debunking the Mirror Myth: Disagreement Is Not a Bad Thing!
There’s another myth out there that says your partner should be your mirror, someone who thinks exactly like you and agrees with everything you say.
False!
You and your partner are two unique individuals, which means you’ll have different perspectives. And that’s okay!
The beauty of interdependence is that it allows space for both partners to be themselves. You don’t have to agree on everything. In fact, the healthiest relationships are those where partners respect each other’s differences and find ways to grow from them. Disagreements are an opportunity to learn, expand, and deepen your connection.
You Can Have the Life and Love Your Heart Desires
So, here’s the truth: you can love without losing yourself. You can find a partner who celebrates who you are, who joins you in living a life of growth, and who stands by your side as you both pursue your dreams.
You deserve that kind of love, and it’s 100% possible for you.
If you’re ready to break free from the fears that have held you back and learn how to show up as the woman you declare yourself to be, we invite you to join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE event. This is your chance to uncover the patterns of the past, step into your power, and create the relationship you’ve always dreamed of.
Love doesn’t mean losing yourself; it means becoming the fullest version of who you are.
And we’re here to show you exactly how to make that happen.
Join us at Irresistible Woman LIVE and learn how to love in a way that honors your values, your desires, and the woman you’re meant to be.
Because when you do, you’ll attract a love that celebrates you and a partner who grows with you.
Your next chapter is waiting. Are you ready to say YES to it? 💖
