Relationship - Heart's Desire Intl

How to Communicate so He Can Actually Hear You

by heartsdesireintl | Jul 10, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

What do your conversations with your partner look and feel like?

When you share what you want or feel with your partner, do you think you’re communicating effectively, but he n gets defensive or doesn’t understand what you’re really trying to say?

Do you want to know how to communicate what you want and feel in a way that your partner can receive and hear it?

Sometimes, learning how to communicate effectively in relationships can feel like you’re learning a whole new language. This is because we’ve been conditioned that “being honest” or “sharing how we feel” means we have to complain or say what we want in an ineffective way.

For example, let’s say you feel like your partner doesn’t do enough around the house. You say things like, “It’d be nice if I could get some help around here!” or “I never get any help!” or “I always have to do everything myself.”

And then… he doesn’t do anything different.

You’re confused, because you think you expressed your needs and hoping your partner will feel motivated and inspired to help.

But he isn’t.

This was going on in my relationship with Ric years ago, and it was frustrating!

I felt like I was asking for help, but nothing was changing in his behavior.

Why wasn’t he responding the way I wanted him to?!

The answer is because I wasn’t communicating effectively.

One day I said distinctly, “I need help.”

What was his response?

“What do you need help with?”

I honestly didn’t know what to say, because it never occurred to me that it could be that easy.

No nagging… no complaining… just “I need help!”

And then he offered to take on a few of the things I didn’t feel I could do alone.

Wow!

I got the result I wanted simply from changing the way I was communicating and being distinct and clear about what I wanted.

He wanted to help me, he just needed to be able to hear what I was saying without the “static” of complaints, reasons, and justifications for it. .

When communicating what you want with your partner, make sure you use short, distinct comments that clearly state what you want.

“I want to go for a walk.”

“I’m disappointed because I was looking forward to seeing you.”

“I don’t want to do these dishes right now.”

Clearly stating what you want allows the other person to hear you.

It really is that simple.

Another important part of communicating effectively in a relationship is making sure your intention for the conversation is clear and that you let go of any attachment to how the other person may respond.

Intention is the umbrella under which the conversation happens, and it’s the compass that guides it.

Your reason for communicating can’t be about trying to get the other person to do or say something. It has to be 100% about saying what you want to say in order to stay in alignment with what is true for you, regardless of how he may react.

Be very careful with this ,because your ego will try and get in the way.

Be honest with yourself and make sure your emotions are in a place where your pure intention is to create what you want — love, peace and connection vs being right or getting an apology.

If you’re not clear about what you want to say and why, postpone the conversation until you are.

Ineffective communication is the #1 breakdown in relationships, and mastering how you can create the kind of relationship you want to create is the key to success. If you’d like support in seeing how you can create more clarity and impact through your communication, book a call with us now!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Having clarity of intention, making sure your emotions are clear prior to the conversation, knowing what you want and don’t want, and letting go of attachment are the keys to having meaningful conversations that create deeper intimacy, connection and love in a relationship.

Let us support you!

Is He Lacking Integrity? Are You?

by heartsdesireintl | Jul 7, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

What is your definition of integrity?

The universal answers that probably come to mind are,”Being honest,” or “Doing the right thing when nobody’s watching.”

Here’s our definition:“Honoring your word to the same level that you honor yourself.”

This looks like following through with the things you say you’ll do – both to yourself and to others.

This looks like honoring your personal thoughts and beliefs.

This looks like knowing what you want and not settling for less.

There was a time in my life when I didn’t really think about integrity. It just wasn’t something that mattered to me. I thought that being ten minutes late was still being on time. I justified my behavior and figured that if I didn’t follow through on things, people would understand.

The thing is, I had no idea what I was doing to myself subconsciously.

The fact is, I was destroying my confidence regarding what I deserved. I was destroying the level of belief I had in myself about what I could create and accomplish.

Every time I took a job that paid less than what I wanted, I was diminishing my personal integrity.

Every time I called a guy I liked after I’d promised myself I’d wait to hear from him. I was showing that I didn’t believe I was worth being honest to.

Every time I didn’t stick to a diet or exercise plan ,I was lowering my ability to trust myself.

I didn’t see that what I said mattered.

The problem with this is that you can’t create a powerful life if you can’t trust yourself.

Every time I lowered my integrity, my life got more chaotic.

And, finally I had a powerful wake-up call.

“What if I started living my life by what I say matters?”

Guess what happened?

Well, when it comes to dating,I stopped tolerating certain things. If a guy said he’d call at a certain time and he didn’t, I noticed. If he did it time and time again I would choose to let him go.

I stopped dating men that were separated, but still married.

I raised my standards and stopped dating men who lied, did marijuana, and had lower standards than me.

By raising my standards, I raised my awareness.

I realized that I could choose, and I started to choose differently.

I started dating men who cared about integrity, too, and that made all the difference.

What if you were living your life like what you say matters? What might change?

The #1 thing that improves self confidence is following through with the things you say you’ll do – both to others AND to yourself.

Even the little things!

You can’t attract what you don’t create. You must start with yourself and have a look at your own level of integrity.

When it comes to dating, you get to choose what you tolerate in a relationship – you get to decide!

We get it, sometimes emotions and attraction take over and we make concessions and accept behavior we don’t like.

That’s why you need to be aware and awake.

Does he show up late or cancel 50% of the time?

Does he treat you well both publicly and privately?

Are you tolerating something you don’t want to have in a relationship?

These are just the beginning of the questions you can ask yourself to make sure you are creating or in the kind of relationship you’d like to be in.

And, if it appears that you’re in a relationship that lacks respect and integrity – look at yourself first. Be honest with yourself about whether or not you are respecting and being in integrity with yourself.

Don’t waste time and energy on things that don’t matter. Let him go.

Choose what you’ll tolerate.

Believe that you’re available to men who have and demonstrate integrity.

There’s power in that.

If you’d like support diving into the questions that will bring you what you really desire in a relationship and what you may be tolerating to light, we’d love to speak with you!

Let us be the powerful wake-up call that supports you in creating the love and mutually respectful relationship you really want!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Creating the life and relationship you want is always an internal job. If you’re attracting or in relationship with men that lie, don’t follow-through, or lack integrity in some other way – it’s time to take a look inward. We’re here to help you course-correct that so that you can experience the love and happiness your heart desires.

We’ve got you.

How To Get the Love RIGHT NOW!

by heartsdesireintl | May 29, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance

by Gladys Diaz

How long has it been since your last significant relationship?
And, if you’re in a relationship, how long has it been since you felt truly happy in it?

A month?
A year?
Several years?

This has been a recurring theme for women stepping in. For some it’s been two, five or seven years since their last relationship or since they felt truly happy in their relationships For some it’s been 12 or even 15 years!

Oh, my heart just aches that it’s been that long since they’ve had that love and partnership they deserve and desire.

I’m so glad they found us!

Let me ask you another question.

How many times in the last 2 months have you heard the term, “stay at home,” “be careful,” or “stay safe.”
It’s only natural for you to be feeling the urge to push pause on your dreams.

That’s why we feel called to say that the time to make your relationship dreams come true is RIGHT NO.

Whether it’s been two months or two years or two decades since your last relationship, the time is now to create the relationship of your dreams – regardless of what the current situation says is possible.

Life is still happening! It may look a bit different right now, but life is still going on and there are things in your life that still get to be created during this time.

Love is one of them!

You can be careful and safe in order to protect your health and still be open to creating the relationship and love you desire.

What you can’t be is frantic, fearful or closed off – because that will only have you attract more of the same.

Even while you are staying at home, this is not the time to be isolated and alone.

This is the time to be creating community as you work through the Love Barriers that are keeping you from experiencing the amazing desires you have in your heart.

Now is the time to create the relationship of your dreams – with the right guidance.

Unless you’re a professional baker, baking a cake probably wouldn’t be very much fun without a recipe or guidance on how to do it, right?

If you were just trying to figure it out, it would feel frustrating and probably wouldn’t turn out very good either!

Trying to create a relationship all on your own is the same. When you don’t know what to do, how to do it, and the best way to do it, it can be frustrating and “hard.”

Get the support you need so you can have fun with it!

The doors for our Ready For Love NOW program close tonight at midnight, so the time to join is now.

This isn’t just a program.

This is a movement.

There are 60 other women who have already stepped in. 60 women who have said yes to their lives, to themselves and to love!

I have such a strong feeling that these women are going to take this and spread it to other women in the world. They are stepping forward during a time when, from the outside, it looks like there is no hope, and they are reigniting the fire in their hearts!

There is so much power in surrounding yourself with powerful women, thought leaders, and others who are working toward the same goals as you!

So will you join us?

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

(If there aren’t any slots available before midnight, that means other women grabbed the available spots. Simply choose another time, and we’ll make sure we note that you reached out to us before midnight.)

This 12-week program is going to teach you how to break through the Love Barriers that are holding you back from creating the love you want.

It’s going to support you in how to take care of yourself emotionally, physically and mentally so you can be the type of woman you could fall in love with!

And most importantly, at the end of the 12 weeks, you’re going to walk away from this program being so completely in love with yourself that a man won’t be able to help but fall in love with you, too. (And you may even have found your man! – This has been known to happen during our programs, so we wouldn’t be surprised!)

What will it feel like to know you are worthy of love, to be open to love and to know that you have the skills to create the love your heart desires?

What will it feel like when you have found your man and get to bask in the love, passion, joy, and companionship you have waited for for so long?

And, if you’re in a relationship, what will it feel like to know that you you know that you are loved and adored by the man that you love?

Well, it’s time to stop imagining and start making it happen! Let the waiting end now!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Confidence: How to Be Absolutely Irresistible to a Man

by heartsdesireintl | May 22, 2020 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

When you hear the word confident what comes into your mind?

A name of someone you know or someone you admire?

An act of confidence – something you do?

An image that exudes confidence?

For me – the first thing that always comes into my mind when I hear the word confident, is an image of Audrey Hepburn. That woman just exuded confidence. She was soft, feminine and graceful in her way of being, yet so strong and sure.

What does confidence look like to you?

Confidence looks like smiling and looking others in the eye.

It looks like kindness.

It looks like knowing who you are and what you want and not being afraid to share it.

On the other hand, arrogance looks like trying to prove something. Without the deep knowing that she is worthy, a woman who lacks real confidence has to do things and have others give her validation in order to feel confident.

Real confidence is irresistible.

And I’m not talking about personality, either. You may be outgoing and exuberant in your interactions with people and still lack confidence. Or you may be more subdued and quiet, but carry the essence of power and confidence.

Confidence is a way of BEing.

So what does confidence look like in dating and relationships?

Like we said, confidence looks like knowing who you are, what you want, and not being afraid to express it.

We’re talking to a lot of women right now who have been meeting amazing men on dating apps during quarantine, and now that things are starting to open back up, still aren’t quite feeling ready to meet someone new in person.

How do you feel about it?

However you feel about it, confidence looks like being true to yourself and not being afraid of what the other person may say or do.

If a man that you’ve been interacting with on the app now asks if you’d like to meet and you’re still not feeling safe, you can say, “I’d love to meet you when all of this completely clears up. For now, I’d prefer to continue getting to know you here.”

This lets him know that you are interested in him. You’re simply not ready to meet in person yet.

And then he can do what feels right to him with that information.

Whatever his reaction is, you can know that you stood confidently in what was true for you.

Now, here’s another question we get asked a lot: Does asking a man out on a date exude confidence?

We don’t think so.

There is a difference between confidence and pursuing.

When you ask a man on a date, you are doing it out of the fear that if you don’t, then he won’t, and you cheat yourself out of the experience of him asking you out.

Instead, when you stand in the confidence of your worth and know that the right men will ask you out, you exude real confidence and that is simply irresistible to men.

So here’s the question for you now:

How confident are you that you can create the relationship you want on your own?

You see, we’re here to support you in developing the skills and knowing the steps to be able to say and get what you want.

These are the skills that will support you in creating the relationship of your dreams:

Communication skills, relationship skills and confidence.

Remember, confidence is a way of BEing. It’s something that’s developed through conscious practice. And we want to support you in creating such a knowing of your own value and worth that you radiate it through who you are being.

So if you’re ready to step past your fears and create a relationship with yourself that is so next- level that your confidence shines through the roof, then book a call with us now!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

I’ve been with Ric for 21 years and Michelle’s been with Arnie for 13. We know what it to keep relationships going and growing stronger year after year!

We’re both just as in love and passionate about our partners now as the day we met them – if not incredibly more!

We want that for you, too!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Stop the Arguing and Start Thriving in Your Relationship!

by heartsdesireintl | May 8, 2020 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Do you feel like you and your partner can’t agree on anything?

Do you like to talk about things and he prefers to think it through first?

When disagreements arise, do tension and arguments rise, too?

Do you feel like you don’t know how your differences can work in your relationship?

Let me tell you this.

“It’s not disagreements that’s tearing your relationship apart. It’s the way you’re disagreeing.”

Ric and I are like the yin and yang. We are two complete opposite puzzle pieces that couldn’t be more different.

We feel differently about religion, about politics and lots of other things! We are extremely different! And there was a time when I wasn’t sure our relationship would survive.

When I look back on that time in our marriage, I am embarrassed because I had to be right about everything! I would correct everything he did. Even the smallest things he did and said If he did them differently than me, I would correct him.

Almost every conversation we had, whether we were talking about paint, our dinner, or work, would end up in an argument, and I would end up in another room crying because I was so upset about how such a simple conversation could end so badly.

Can you relate?

The thing is we all have an Ego – that part of our brain that wants to keep us safe and wants us to be right, no matter what the cost. And, as human beings with an Ego, sometimes we don’t realize that we are giving away our happiness in our effort to be right.

It is painful and exhausting to be in the experience of always fighting over things you don’t agree on.

Your fear that possibly you made the wrong choice when you picked your partner, or that, if you were right for each other it wouldn’t be so hard is often the thing that is triggering your need to be right.

Sometimes we think that if two people are meant to be together, they’ll like all the same things, think the same way, and make the same choices

That couldn’t be farther from the truth!

Again, remember the yin and yang? Your differences and individuality are the things that brought you together, and they are the things that will keep you together – IF you learn how to respect and appreciate them.

You first need awareness of the pattern – because, more than likely, it’s happening automatically.

So, ask yourself honestly:

Does this resonate with you?

Do you put your partner down?

Do you correct and try to get him to agree with you?

I guarantee that your intention is not to hurt each other – I know mine wasn’t!

But are you reacting to a subconscious fear or belief and, in the process, making him wrong?

Awareness is just the first step in the process. There are communication and relationship skills that will help you transform your differences from this recurring experience of disagreeing and fighting into something beautiful that actually brings you closer together.

Relationships require at least one person in the relationship being willing to show up at her strongest so that things work well, and if you desire a happy, healthy, connected and passionate relationship that will last a lifetime, then we have something special for you!

We’re so excited to be inviting you to the Reignite the Spark Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, May 9th at 12pm Eastern!

In three information-packed hours, you’ll learn exactly how to break through the patterns that have been sabotaging your relationship, inspire your partner’s love and desire, and deepen the love and intimacy in your relationship (yes, even during these stressful times), so that you can create the happy, loving relationship that will last well beyond this pandemic. In fact… It will last for a lifetime!

Grab your spot for the Reignite the Spark Masterclass here!

Just like two puzzle pieces that are shaped exactly the opposite of one another in order to complete the puzzle , two very different people can fit together perfectly, despite their differences, and create a beautiful masterpiece when they learn how to fit together.

We’re here to show you how!

How to Overcome Social Distancing Anxiety

by heartsdesireintl | May 1, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Even before the events of Covid-19 shook our world, women would come to us because they were triggered by the distance they felt in relationships.

Whether it was physical distance or perceived distance (like he starts texting/calling less than he did before), distance is something that causes a lot of women anxiety.

Because of the events of the last couple of months and the “social distancing” regulations that have been put on all of us, this anxiety may be amplified for you.

If anxiety in relationships isn’t something you had previously dealt with, it may be something that has been coming up for you now.

As these “social distancing” regulations begin to be lifted in different parts of the country, a whole new kind of anxiety might be setting in for you. The anxiety of whether it’s really safe to go out now? …to meet someone new? …to hug or kiss?

If you have been or are experiencing anxiety for any reason, you’re not alone, and the number one thing you can do for yourself under our current circumstances is to honor yourself. Get clarity around what’s true for you. Let go of social agreements and make a decision you can stand by.

One of the essential elements of being an Irresistible Woman is being connected to what you really feel and standing confidently in it.

So, what do you do if, because the restrictions are being lifted in your community, a guy asks you if you’d like to meet, and you still feel like it’s too soon?

You can say, “For me, it’s still too soon to meet in person, but I’d love to keep getting to know you.” From there he can decide whether or how he wants to make that happen.

It’s as easy as that.

What if you had anxiety before Covid-19? Did experiencing distance (either physical or perceived distance ) in a relationship trigger you before?

Did you find yourself sending memes that you found funny or articles you thought he’d be interested in because you’re feeling anxious that you haven’t heard from him in a few days (or hours!)

Do you find yourself doing these things just so you can get on his radar and get the hit that will deflate the anxiety when/if he responds?

If so, remember this: It’s not as helpful to pay attention to what he’s doing as it is to pay attention to how you’re reacting to it.

Your reaction is what’s causing the anxiety.

When the anxiety hits, ask yourself: “What is it that’s really bothering me?” “Why does not hearing from him worry me so much?”

And then be gentle with yourself.

It’s a fear that’s getting triggered, and it can feel all-consuming.

Take a breath and remind yourself that you’re safe and nothing bad is happening to you.

If you’re feeling this over a guy you’ve just started seeing, then remind yourself that you’re just getting to know each other and it’s okay that you haven’t heard from him. It doesn’t mean anything.

If it’s someone you’ve been seeing a little longer, then ask yourself if the anxiety you’re feeling is because you’re getting attached because he’s the only person you’re seeing. If you’re still not in a committed relationship with a man, maybe it’s time to open up to seeing others as well.

It is also powerful to notice if anxiety is a pattern you’ve created for yourself.

Not to downplay it in any way, as anxiety is a very real experience that has your nervous system go crazy and triggers irrational thoughts. But notice if being in a state of high anxiety is something you’ve trained yourself to feel.

We find with many women that they feel “alive” when they’re worrying about something and that, even when things are calm and going well, they still feel anxiety because they automatically (and subconsciously) start looking for something to worry about it.

Anxiety can also be triggered by wanting to control people, conditions, or circumstances that are outside of your control.

If you notice yourself in this pattern, start teaching yourself how to shift.

If you find yourself looking for something to worry about, notice and laugh about it. Then think of something you’re grateful for, or think of something else you can focus your attention on that you do have control over so that you can begin to retrain your mind out of the pattern of constant worrying.

There is so much more we could share on this topic, and so much of this really requires personal coaching to get to the root of what triggers the anxiety in the first place!

This is why we’re so excited to be inviting you to the second Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, May 2nd at 12pm Eastern!

Because we had such an incredible turn out last week, because so many of you asked if we could offer the training again – and because we had so much fun – we decided to do it one more time!

In this interactive masterclass you will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating skills, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams.

Grab your spot for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass here!

In the search for love, you don’t have to be worried!

You are in control of how you feel, react, and respond, and we’re here to show you how!

As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.

We’re here for you!

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