I’m sitting here, writing from our vacation home, feeling happy, relaxed, and so blessed! The cruise I had been Hopefully Anticipating* was a dream-come-true for all of us, and we had a wonderful time!
Aside from all of the fun family things we did with the kids, Ric and I took advantage of the on-ship child care center and were able to sip champagne together, talk, share a couples’ massage, and be “just us” for a little while. Having that couple time is so important to keeping the love alive in our relationship.
Now, before you begin to thinks that everything was “perfect,” I can tell you that it was not!
The day we arrived at our vacation home, I was disappointed, to say the least! The 2-bedroom apartment was absolutely breath-taking, but after being told that it wouldn’t be ready for several hours because it was being cleaned, as I walked around unpacking and putting things away, I noticed that it was anything but clean and had to call housekeeping and ask them re-clean the apartment.
Then, at about 9:30pm I kept hearing the sound of running water. I ran into the master bathroom to find the toilet was overflowing and there was about an inch of water running through the entire huge bathroom and that the water was beginning to seep into the master bedroom carpet! I was horrified and started freaking out, calling to my kids to bring me every dry towel they could find!
After figuring out how to turn off the water and calling housekeeping and maintenance again, I did what I could to contain the flood while I waited for someone to come rescue me! When my husband came in and saw me cleaning up, he said nothing, but the look on his face said it all, and I knew he had gone to complain that I was cleaning up a mess on vacation. I have to say that in the midst of the panic, I was so glad to know he had my back.
A few minutes later he came back and told me not to stop cleaning up, that he’d handled it and they were sending people over. Soon, our apartment was swarming with people who were cleaning, drying, and moving mountains for us to get moved to another apartment (after they had told my husband that there weren’t any other apartments available for the rest of the week)!
Thirty minutes later, we were in another beautiful apartment, overlooking the golf course and my kids were tucked snuggly in their beds!
I won’t lie. There were moments where my mind when to “the dark side” I’m human and I was upset and disappointed by the circumstances. There was a moment where I found myself thinking that our vacation had been “ruined.” I immediately stopped myself and began thinking of the cruise we had just experienced, the fact that this was just a few hours out of our 11 days of vacation, and all of the reasons I have to be grateful! Immediately, my mood shifted and I was soon able to fall into a deep and peaceful sleep next to my hero!
Life is not always going to turn out “perfectly.” Sometimes things happen that are outside of your control. It’s easy (and tempting) to allow those circumstances and events to “ruin” things for you.
You can choose to make a bad date or a series of unsuccessful dates or relationships “ruin” you chances for experiencing love and happiness.
You can choose to have your unrealistic expectations “ruin” a relationship with a great guy.
You can choose to have a flooded bathroom ruin an otherwise wonderful vacation.
Or you can make another choice.
You can choose to not allow circumstances and unmet expectations dictate how you feel.
You can choose to focus on all of the good in your life and feel and express gratitude for it.
You choose the attitude with which you handle the circumstances that come your way.
I’ve found that gratitude is one of the most powerful practices for dealing with life’s unexpected twists and turns. When you switch your focus from the things you don’t have, the things that seem to be going wrong, and results that aren’t quite what you’d hoped for, while none the actual circumstances may change, everything seems to appear different!
You can hear more about how I use a ritual of gratitude to create the life of my dreams in an interview I’ll be sharing with you later this week!
But, for now, I’m signing off because I have two beautiful pairs of brown eyes looking at me with Hopeful Anticipation*, waiting for me to take them to the theme park!
*If you didn’t read the article on living life in Hopeful Anticipation*, you can read it here.
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
The other day, Michelle and I had a very powerfulinterview with Bill Weil for his “Conscious Couples Conversation” program.
In this interview, we dove deep and talking about some of the most common questions we get asked when it comes to relationships, including:
The higher purpose of relationships
The difference between how men and women define and experience love and respect
The natural power women have to create and transform relationships
The most common mistakes women make in relationships
The essential ingredients for having a loving, intimate relationships
The 3 R’s for keeping the love alive in your relationship
How to have win-win arguments
And a lot more, including:
An interesting story about the “twin connection” Michelle and I share
How Michelle and I work together to coach women
A beautiful excerpt from Michelle and Arnie’s wedding vows (so moving!)
Whether you are single or in a relationship, you will walk away from listening to this interview with a HUGE amount of information and inspiration for creating a loving, intimate, relationship!
Click the image below to listen to this POWER-FULL conversation!
Comment? Question about the interview? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
As you know, this week is “Anniversary Week,” and in celebration of Ric’s and my 14 years of marriage, I’m sharing 14 of the secrets for making love last!
In the previous blog post, I shared with you the first 7 secrets.
Below I’m sharing 7 more of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on how to make the love in a relationship last and grow stronger over time!
7. Being vulnerable is a sign of strength, not weakness: For so many years I was in “survival mode,” just trying to get through this life. Inside of that view of myself and the world, I felt like I had to take care of myself, do things myself, and give off the impression that I had it all — meaning everything in and outside of my control – handled. When I started practicing being more vulnerable – asking for help, sharing my heart, allowing my husband to see all of who I really am (warts and all) – I learned just how much courage is involved in being vulnerable and trusting him to take care of me and my heart.
8. Your past is not a predictor of your future: I didn’t have very good role models for a loving, happy, intimate relationship. I saw, heard, and went through things as child that I wish no child would have to witness or experience. And, yet, I have created an amazingly beautiful relationship with my husband and my kids get to see what love and partnership look like every day (to the point where they beg us to stop being so mushy!). No matter what your past is, if can accept it and leave it in the past, where it belongs, you get to create the type of love and life your heart desires! You really can!
9. I’m 100% responsible for my relationship: Another myth out there is that a relationship is a 50/50 deal. Not true. I’ve come to learn that I am 100% responsible formy side of this marriage – regardless of what my husband chooses to do or not do. I can’t control him or what he chooses to do or say. I can, however, control my own thoughts, words, and the ways in which I choose to respond and react to him. Being 100% responsible is great, because if you can be 100% responsible for your part in the relationship when things aren’t going very well, you also get to take 100% of the credit when it’s going great!
10. Taking care of myself is not selfish: For too many years, especially after I became a mom, I saw my role as the giver and nurturer in my marriage and family. I felt “guilty” putting myself first, taking care of my needs, pampering myself, or doing things that didn’t involve my husband and/or kids. I’ve grown to learn that the most important relationship I have to nurture is the one I have with myself, and that, when I take the time to replenish myself mentally, physically, and spiritually, not only am I a better mother and lover, but I am also a much better version of ME!
11. All he really wants is to make me happy: For many years, I complained that my husband didn’t help me enough around the house or with the kids. I felt exhausted, unappreciated, and taken advantage of. I’ve grown to learn that one of my husband’s top priorities in life is not only seeing me happy, but making me happy. Inside of his desire to provide for and protect me is his desire to please me. It’s what gives him a sense of purpose inside of our relationship. I’ve also come to learn that seeing me happy makes him feel good, but he also likes knowing that he had something to do with the smile on my face!
12. Not everything that pops into my head needs to pop out of my mouth: I’m a well-educated and many times strongly opinionated woman. For many years, I thought that “good communication” meant saying everything I thought to my husband. Too many times I ignored or didn’t even consider the impact that those words were having on him, his sense of self, or the way he thought I saw him. My words caused a lot of damage in the beginning years of our marriage. Now, I choose my words and how I express them wisely. It’s not that I weigh and measure my words, or that I’m walking on eggshells. Instead, I choose to speak words that let him know how I feel and what I want without complaining. I choose words that lift him up, rather than tear him down. I choose words that bring love and intimacy into our relationship, rather than destroy or strip it away. My thoughts and words are powerful and create my reality, so I choose to create a reality that is completely overflowing with love!
13. I get to choose how to see things: Perspective is everything. I can choose to see the fact that the kids had popcorn and pizza for lunch as evidence that my husband is unable to care for them properly, or I can see them as his way of having a fun day with them so that I could go get my hair done in peace! I can choose to see the fact that he got me a gift that I wouldn’t have necessarily gotten for myself as him being selfish or not caring about or really knowing me, or I can see it as him having seen something that reminded me of him when I wasn’t there! I can see the fact that he wants to stay home and cuddle in front of the TV as him being boring, or I can see it as evidence that there is nowhere else he’d rather be than at home with me. I’ve grown to learn that if I’m going to tell myself something about me, him, and our relationship, I can choose to tell myself things that upset, frustrate, or sadden me, or I can choose to say things that help me feel happy, peaceful and grateful. These days, I choose love, peace and gratitude above all!
14. Keeping the love alive is a daily opportunity: Having a great relationship doesn’t “just happen.” Fourteen years of being happily married and feeling just as in love as we were in the beginning (if not more) doesn’t just happen, either. Keeping the love, fun, and passion alive means making choices every day that lead to nurturing and increasing them! Doing and saying things that demonstrate your love; laughing and playing together (both with and without the kids); and ensuring that sexual intimacy is fulfilling, satisfying, and enjoyable are all part of the daily opportunities we can create to keep our romance alive. So, kiss and hug him every day, flirt with him every day, and let him know that you love him every single day!
Yes, making love last takes work, but it doesn’t have to be “hard work.” Instead, it can be fulfilling, exciting and fun!
And, isn’t that what we dream of as we are promising to share our lives and our undying love for one another at the altar on our wedding day?
This weekend we celebrated Independence Day in the United States. While I’m always grateful to live in this country, on July 4th in particular I am present to how incredibly blessed I am to have the freedom and opportunities available to me!
One of the truths about freedom is that it’s never “free.” Freedom comes with a price. There are millions of men throughout history who have fought for, stood for, and given their lives so that I could enjoy the freedom I have today to create the life my heart desires.
The same holds true when it comes to you and your life. Whether or not you live in the U.S., you actually have the power to break free from the past and create a new future where you are able to experience the love and joy your heart desires! But that freedom also comes with a price.
To create the type relationship your heart truly desires, you have to be willing to let go of a few things.
You have to let go of the stories you have been telling yourself about you not being worthy or deserving enough to experience that type of love.
You have to let go of the resentment, regrets, and anger that you’ve been holding onto and have kept you bound to your past.
You have to let go of fearand be courageous enough to trust and open your heart to love once again.
Once you let go of those things that have been holding you back, keeping you stuck, and blocking you from attracting and experiencing the type of love you want,there is FREEDOM on the other side!
Freedom from pain.
Freedom from fear.
Freedom from a past that no longer serves you!
So, if you are in a place in your life right now where you feel held back, held down, and unable to move forward, I invite you to LET GO and embrace the love, happiness, and freedom that are already waiting for you!
And we’ll be there to welcome you on the other side!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Hello! It’s Testimonial Tuesday! From time to time, we will be featuring some of our favorite love stories of the women who we’ve worked with so that you can begin to see what is possible for you, too! Just this week, we had one former client announce her engagement, another share how grateful she is that I was her “biggest cheerleader” in staying and working on her relationship, and another share that she received Mother’s Day flowers from her love and a call from her stepdaughter on Mother’s Day for the first time in the 4 years they’ve been together!
One of our favorite parts about being relationship coaches is getting to witness the process of transformation our clients go through. It is such a blessing to be part of their journey and to watch as they move through the difference spaces in their lives toward having the relationship of their dreams!
Today I’d like to share with you a very special testimonial from one of my private coaching clients, Diana. When she first contacted me via email, Diana was dating a great guy. Things were going really well and she had some questions about where the relationship was going and how she should proceed. We communicated back and forth via email for a while, and about a month later I heard from her again and we set up a time to talk. At this time, she was worried because she felt her boyfriend was becoming distant. His communication patterns had changed and her gut was telling her that he was pulling away. We spoke for a little while to determine what she wanted to experience in a relationship, how she could go about doing that, and she signed up as a private coaching client.
It was about a week or two after we started working together that their relationship ended. As you can imagine, Diana was heartbroken and confused. This was a relationship that had been going so well. They had a great connection and were so happy together. She just couldn’t understand what had happened.
Together, we began the journey within, discovering some of her hidden fears, limiting beliefs, and patterns that had been impacting her when it came to relationships. It wasn’t always an “easy” journey. It took a lot of courage to be willing to do the inner work to create an opening for love to come back into her life.
But, as you’ll hear in Diana’s testimonial, the journey was well worth it!
Click below to listen to how Diana went from being heartbroken to being happy-in-love!
Working with a relationship coach is one of the best ways to have the type of relationship you have always dreamed of. Whether you are single and looking to attract the right man into your life, or you are in a relationship that you want to improve or reignite, choosing the right coach for you — someone you trust, who has proven results, and who can teach you the skills you need to make your dreams come true — is one of the most important choices you can make.
If, like Diana, you are ready to stop trying to do this on your own and to begin taking the steps that will lead you in the direction of your dreams, click here so that we can set up a time to talk. I have 3 spots opening up in my program and one of them could be yours!
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