by heartsdesireintl | Jul 18, 2014 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love, Sex, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
You love a man. You’ve loved him for years, and you think he loves you, too. The only problem is he’s married to someone else!
So, what do you do?
Do you keep loving him from afar, waiting for him to end the marriage?
Do you go with your heart, ignore the fact that he’s married, and become “the other woman”?
These are tough questions, and the answers may be even tougher for the woman who sent them to handle!
If you or someone you know needs to know the answer to these questions, then click the image below and read the response I wrote to a woman who had these questions in InspireMeToday.com’s “Ask a Luminary” column!
I’ll be responding to questions and comments on that page, so make sure you leave me a comment!
Thank you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 17, 2014 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love, Sex, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
As you know, this week is “Anniversary Week,” and in celebration of Ric’s and my 14 years of marriage, I’m sharing 14 of the secrets for making love last!
In the previous blog post, I shared with you the first 7 secrets.
Below I’m sharing 7 more of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on how to make the love in a relationship last and grow stronger over time!
7. Being vulnerable is a sign of strength, not weakness: For so many years I was in “survival mode,” just trying to get through this life. Inside of that view of myself and the world, I felt like I had to take care of myself, do things myself, and give off the impression that I had it all — meaning everything in and outside of my control – handled. When I started practicing being more vulnerable – asking for help, sharing my heart, allowing my husband to see all of who I really am (warts and all) – I learned just how much courage is involved in being vulnerable and trusting him to take care of me and my heart.
8. Your past is not a predictor of your future: I didn’t have very good role models for a loving, happy, intimate relationship. I saw, heard, and went through things as child that I wish no child would have to witness or experience. And, yet, I have created an amazingly beautiful relationship with my husband and my kids get to see what love and partnership look like every day (to the point where they beg us to stop being so mushy!). No matter what your past is, if can accept it and leave it in the past, where it belongs, you get to create the type of love and life your heart desires! You really can!
9. I’m 100% responsible for my relationship: Another myth out there is that a relationship is a 50/50 deal. Not true. I’ve come to learn that I am 100% responsible for my side of this marriage – regardless of what my husband chooses to do or not do. I can’t control him or what he chooses to do or say. I can, however, control my own thoughts, words, and the ways in which I choose to respond and react to him. Being 100% responsible is great, because if you can be 100% responsible for your part in the relationship when things aren’t going very well, you also get to take 100% of the credit when it’s going great!
10. Taking care of myself is not selfish: For too many years, especially after I became a mom, I saw my role as the giver and nurturer in my marriage and family. I felt “guilty” putting myself first, taking care of my needs, pampering myself, or doing things that didn’t involve my husband and/or kids. I’ve grown to learn that the most important relationship I have to nurture is the one I have with myself, and that, when I take the time to replenish myself mentally, physically, and spiritually, not only am I a better mother and lover, but I am also a much better version of ME!
11. All he really wants is to make me happy: For many years, I complained that my husband didn’t help me enough around the house or with the kids. I felt exhausted, unappreciated, and taken advantage of. I’ve grown to learn that one of my husband’s top priorities in life is not only seeing me happy, but making me happy. Inside of his desire to provide for and protect me is his desire to please me. It’s what gives him a sense of purpose inside of our relationship. I’ve also come to learn that seeing me happy makes him feel good, but he also likes knowing that he had something to do with the smile on my face!
12. Not everything that pops into my head needs to pop out of my mouth: I’m a well-educated and many times strongly opinionated woman. For many years, I thought that “good communication” meant saying everything I thought to my husband. Too many times I ignored or didn’t even consider the impact that those words were having on him, his sense of self, or the way he thought I saw him. My words caused a lot of damage in the beginning years of our marriage. Now, I choose my words and how I express them wisely. It’s not that I weigh and measure my words, or that I’m walking on eggshells. Instead, I choose to speak words that let him know how I feel and what I want without complaining. I choose words that lift him up, rather than tear him down. I choose words that bring love and intimacy into our relationship, rather than destroy or strip it away. My thoughts and words are powerful and create my reality, so I choose to create a reality that is completely overflowing with love!
13. I get to choose how to see things: Perspective is everything. I can choose to see the fact that the kids had popcorn and pizza for lunch as evidence that my husband is unable to care for them properly, or I can see them as his way of having a fun day with them so that I could go get my hair done in peace! I can choose to see the fact that he got me a gift that I wouldn’t have necessarily gotten for myself as him being selfish or not caring about or really knowing me, or I can see it as him having seen something that reminded me of him when I wasn’t there! I can see the fact that he wants to stay home and cuddle in front of the TV as him being boring, or I can see it as evidence that there is nowhere else he’d rather be than at home with me. I’ve grown to learn that if I’m going to tell myself something about me, him, and our relationship, I can choose to tell myself things that upset, frustrate, or sadden me, or I can choose to say things that help me feel happy, peaceful and grateful. These days, I choose love, peace and gratitude above all!
14. Keeping the love alive is a daily opportunity: Having a great relationship doesn’t “just happen.” Fourteen years of being happily married and feeling just as in love as we were in the beginning (if not more) doesn’t just happen, either. Keeping the love, fun, and passion alive means making choices every day that lead to nurturing and increasing them! Doing and saying things that demonstrate your love; laughing and playing together (both with and without the kids); and ensuring that sexual intimacy is fulfilling, satisfying, and enjoyable are all part of the daily opportunities we can create to keep our romance alive. So, kiss and hug him every day, flirt with him every day, and let him know that you love him every single day!
Yes, making love last takes work, but it doesn’t have to be “hard work.” Instead, it can be fulfilling, exciting and fun!
And, isn’t that what we dream of as we are promising to share our lives and our undying love for one another at the altar on our wedding day?
For more information on how to keep the love, romance, passion alive in your relationship, be sure to get our special report, Relationship FUN-damentals: How to Keep Your Relationship Exciting, Fulfilling and FUN!
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 11, 2014 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love, Sex, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
15 years ago today, I had no idea just how drastically my life was about to change!
It had been just under a year since my first husband had passed away, and I was beginning to feel like myself again. I had lost weight, started a new job, cut my waist-length hair into a short, curly bob, and was about to release my first solo single – a song I had written for my late husband.
A few nights earlier, after having been stood up by an emotionally unavailable guy who I had been heavily pursuing (yuck!), my friend and I went out dancing. I had a blast that night, dancing reggae, flirting, and feeling, not like “a widow,” but like a woman – something I hadn’t felt in a long time.
A really cute guy I’d noticed when I walked into the club came up and started talking to me just as I was getting ready to leave. I almost blew him off because I thought he was too young for me, but my friend commanded me to walk back over and talk to him because she hadn’t seen me smiling that way in over a year (so glad she did!).
We danced, he asked me for my number and called me the next day, when he got off of work. We spoke on the phone for 7 hours that night and he asked me out for the following night.
I can honestly say that I didn’t have any expectations for that evening. I was just excited to be going out on a date, having fun, laughing and feeling alive again.
I believe whole-heartedly that it was this lack of expectation and just being open to having fun that led to me having one of the most romantic and unforgettable evenings of my life.
A few hours into the date, he asked me if he could kiss me. Why did he ask? Because I’d given him the run-down the night before of all of my “rules”: no kissing on the first date, no sex before marriage, what religion he’d have to be, etc. – something I now know could have completely ruined my chances of ever getting to know him, simply because I was so afraid of getting hurt. Honestly, it’s a miracle he even asked me out on a first date!
I don’t know why, but when he asked if he could kiss me, I said, “Yes,” and I’m so glad I did, because that kiss literally took my breath away (I actually had to sit down!), and, 15 years later, I’m still waiting to exhale! (Yes, I still get butterflies when he kisses me today!)
The spot where we shared our first kiss!
15 years of loving and being loved by the same person is a pretty big deal! We’ve been through a lot during these years – ups, downs, and everything in between – but thanks to the skills I practice and teach, we’re still here, and our love is stronger than ever!
On Monday we’ll be celebrating 14 years of marriage, and I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to know without a shadow of a doubt that you are loved – not because you did anything to earn or deserve it, but because the other person simply chooses to love and accept you for who you are, exactly the way you are!
This is the kind of love I know every woman on this planet can experience.
This is the kind of love I have dedicated my life to helping women attract, create, and nurture.
This is the kind of love YOU can have, too!
No matter where you are right now in your love life – single and hoping to attract the man of your dreams, a romance that is just getting started, or in relationship that feels like it’s falling apart – know that you can have and are worthy of experiencing love every day, for the rest of your life.
Does it take work to have this type of relationship? Yes, it does.
Does it take knowing the skills that help you create love, passion, and intimacy that lasts? Yes, it does.
Can I help you learn these skills? Yes, I can!
It’s my mission, my passion, and my obsession in life to teach women around the world how to begin experiencing the lifetime of love their hearts desired, and I’d love to do the same for you!
If you’re ready to begin doing the work, making the changes that need to be made, and finally experiencing the love of a lifetime, contact me to set up a Ready for Love Session, and let’s get started right away!
The clock’s ticking, life is happening, and your love-of-a-lifetime is waiting for you!
Schedule a Ready for Love Session today, and let’s get started creating YOUR love-of-a-lifetime!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 24, 2014 | Autism, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Parenting, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
This weekend, I did one of the scariest things I’ve ever done in my life, and I learned a lot about myself!
As many of you know, my older son has Asperger’s Syndrome – a mild form of autism. Recently, we told him about his diagnosis and we have taken on really empowering him to try new things, stretch outside of his comfort zone, and have confidence in himself.
Well, as they say: Be careful what you wish for!
This Saturday, I woke up at 4:30am to drop my son off at the church where his Boy Scouts troop was leaving for a full week of sleep-away summer camp!
I can’t tell you how incredibly nervous, unsure of myself, and terrified I was. This was the first time he’d be away from us for more than 48 hours – and in a completely different state!
I wish I could say that I was the picture of grace and ease.
I wasn’t.
As much as I tried, I simply could not hold back the tears. My baby was going far away and I would not be there if he got hurt, scared, or did not know how to do something. I had to trust that he would be able to communicate to those around him when he needed help. I had to believe that he would be able to problem solve and help himself.
I felt completely helpless and afraid. And it was written all over my face (in big, shiny tears)!
Thankfully, there are other mothers in the troop who have been through this and they gave me their phone numbers, have been reaching out, texting and emailing me to see how I’m doing.
Now, as a relationship coach, I’m usually the one who is helping and supporting other women through their own fears, pain, and insecurity. When it was my turn to be on the receiving end of that type of love and concern, and I have to admit that it wasn’t very comfortable for me!
I noticed how I was trying to play it cool at first, not completely open to receiving their genuine concern and affection. It made me feel so vulnerable to let them see how afraid I really was.
I also noticed how I kept thinking it was “worse” for me, because my son has special needs. I didn’t think they could understand what I was going through because they hadn’t been through my experience. How could they possibly know what it was like?
Then there was a moment where I stopped and thought about you – the women who trust me to guide you from some of the most heartbreaking and frightening moments of your lives to a place of hope and happiness.
I thought about how you open your heart in such a beautifully vulnerable way, sharing it with me and allowing me to see into the deepest parts of it because you trust that together we can find a way to the other side.
Realizing this gave me courage to allow these women who I don’t really know very well, but who I see want to offer comfort and reassurance, to be there for me. I’m allowing myself to be guided and taken care of, and to learn from their experiences. I’m still afraid and unsure, but I’m trusting, receiving, and releasing control and it feels great!
The best part is knowing that I’m not in this alone!
So, what about you?
Are you ready to open your heart and allow someone to help you break through your own fears, pain, and doubt?
Are you ready to talk to someone who’s been where you are and can show you how to get to the other side, where extraordinary love is already waiting for you?
If you are, go ahead and click here to schedule a Ready to Love Session. During this call, we’ll look to see where you are currently in your love life, what is standing in your way of having the love you want, and how to get to the other side of it so that you can experience the love and life your heart desires!
Remember: You’re not in this alone. There is hope. And I’m here to help!
Schedule your Ready to Love Session now!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 14, 2014 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
I’m so excited! This week my husband booked us on a Disney Cruise – something I’ve been saying I want to do for seven years!
I’m seriously so excited I have no idea how I’m going to keep this surprise from my kids a minute longer!
Seven years is a long time to wait for something. There have been times when I thought it was never going to happen. I mean, we’d talk about going – a lot. We’d look at the dates and prices online, and talk about booking the cruise. We’d even set a date and then see that date come and go.
What was missing?
Committed action!
See, wanting to go on a cruise is not enough.
Talking about wanting to go on a cruise is not enough.
Even setting the dates and researching the prices isn’t enough.
To go on a cruise, you actually need to reserve your date and pay the price!
The same holds true when it comes to having the type of relationship you really want.
You’ve been waiting to be in a real, loving, passionate relationship for probably as long as you can remember.
Wanting to be in a relationship is great, but if you’re not out there, meeting new men and dating successfully, it’s not going to happen.
Talking about how much you want to be in a great relationship is not the same as knowing the skills it takes to make a relationship work.
Reading books, attending webinars, and bookmarking articles about how to have a successful, lifelong relationship is not the same as working with someone 1-on-1 who can help you identify what’s been stopping you from attracting the love you want and then help you create that relationship in your own life!
The only way to be in the relationship you want is to take committed action and begin creating that relationship now!
This is what I help women do in my private coaching program. In this program, I help you identify:
- What’s stopping you from experiencing the love you want
- What you need to do to remove those blocks
- The steps you need to take so that you can finally have the relationship you want
Because of the high level of support and attention I give my private clients, I’m only able to accept a few women into the program at a time. Right now, the program is almost full, so, if you know that you’re tired of talking about the kind of relationship you want and you’re ready to take committed action toward making your dream a reality, then reserve a spot for a complimentary Ready to Love Session now!
Think about it…
Six months from now you could be talking about the relationship you’re in, instead of the relationship you want. I’d love to help you make that dream come true! Reserve your spot now!
