by Gladys Diaz

Have you ever settled for less than what your heart truly desires?

Compromising your values, or worse, convincing yourself that what you’re getting is as good as it gets? 

Settling is the silent killer of dreams and desires. 

This is such an important topic because, let’s be real – it’s not just about romantic love; it’s about self-worth, self-respect, and ultimately, the quality of life you’re creating for yourself.

Why You Settle: The Fear That You Can’t Have What You Really Want

At the root of settling is a deep-seated fear: the fear that you can’t have the fullness that your heart desires. 

• You may have been burned in the past. 
• Maybe you’ve faced rejection, heartache, or betrayal. 

These fears try to convince you that this is as good as it gets, that there’s nothing you can do about it, and that you’re alone. 

Over time, these experiences chip away at your belief in what’s possible, creating a nagging voice in your head that says, “Maybe this is as good as it gets” or “This must be all I deserve.”

It’s that fear whispering in your ear that you should lower your expectations, make compromises, and stop asking for too much.

But here’s the truth: When you settle in love, you’re not just settling in relationships… 

You’re settling in life. 

You’re telling yourself that your dreams don’t matter, that your desires are too grand, too unrealistic. And that, my friend, is a lie.

The Vicious Cycle: How Settling Creates More Disappointment

When you settle, you set off a vicious cycle. 

You accept less than what you truly want, which leads to a string of disappointing experiences. These experiences then reinforce the very fears and limiting beliefs that caused you to settle in the first place.

Let’s break it down:

1. You Settle: You accept a relationship that doesn’t truly fulfill you because you believe it’s the best you can get.
2. You Experience Disappointment: Because you’ve settled, the relationship doesn’t meet your needs, and you feel unfulfilled, frustrated, and maybe even resentful.
3. Your Beliefs Harden: The disappointment reinforces your belief that you can’t have what you truly want, which makes you more likely to settle again in the future.

And so the cycle continues, keeping you trapped in a loop of dissatisfaction and despair.

Breaking the Cycle: Get 100% Clear on What You Want

The first step to breaking this cycle is to get crystal clear on what you do want and why you’re settling for less. 

I’m not talking about some vague notion of “happiness” or “a good partner.” I’m talking about getting down to the nitty-gritty details of what your heart truly desires in a relationship.

• What are your non-negotiables? 
• What do you value most? 
• What kind of love do you dream about when you’re lying in bed at night? 

Be specific. Be unapologetic. And most importantly, don’t let fear or past disappointments color your vision.

This clarity is crucial because it serves as your compass. Without it, you’re wandering aimlessly, easily swayed by fear, doubt, or the shiny distractions of relationships that seem “good enough” or “just for now.” 

But with it, you become unstoppable. You can confidently reject anything that doesn’t align with your vision because you know exactly what you’re aiming for.

The Difference Between Unrealistic Expectations and High Standards

Now, let’s clear up a common misconception: the difference between unrealistic expectations and high standards.

Unrealistic expectations are demands you place on a partner that are either impossible to meet or based on fantasy. They might involve expecting someone to always make you happy, never have flaws, or fulfill all your needs. 

Expectations often leave you waiting, hoping someone will rise to the occasion, and they’re a recipe for disappointment because no one is going to always say or do exactly what you want them to.

High standards, on the other hand, are non-negotiables that align with your core values and desires. They’re based on what you know you deserve and what you’re willing to give in return. High standards are about maintaining the integrity of your Love Vision and not compromising on what truly matters to you.

Having high standards doesn’t mean you’re being picky or difficult; it means you’re protecting your happiness, your future, and your heart. It means you know what you want and that you deserve the kind of relationship that will bring you joy, growth, and fulfillment.

Aligning Your Standards with What You Want to Experience

To stop settling in love, you need to align your standards with what you want to experience in dating and relationships. This means living in accordance with your values and being clear about the kind of love you want to create.

1. Identify Your Core Values: What are the principles that matter most to you in a relationship? Honesty? Respect? Growth? 
2. Set Non-Negotiables: These are the deal-breakers—the things you absolutely must have in a relationship. Don’t compromise on these, no matter what.
3. Be Willing to Walk Away: If a relationship doesn’t meet your standards, have the courage to walk away. It’s better to be alone than to be in a relationship that isn’t what you truly want.
4. Stay True to Your Vision: Don’t let fear or doubt cloud your judgment. Hold onto the vision of the love you want, and don’t settle for anything less.

Conclusion: Claim the Love You Deserve

Settling in love is a choice. 

It’s a choice to give in to fear, to compromise on your dreams, and to accept less than what you truly want. But it’s also a choice that you can stop making today.

By getting clear on what you want, distinguishing between unrealistic expectations and high standards, and aligning your standards with your core values, you can break the cycle of disappointment and create the love you deserve.

If you’d like support in getting clear on your values, what you want in a relationship, or how to walk away from something that you know in your heart isn’t what you want – book a call with our coaches.

On this Love Breakthrough Call, our team will work with you to create a step-by-step plan with you so you can stop settling and start creating exactly what you want and more!

Click HERE to Book Your Love Breakthrough Call Now!

Stand for the love that aligns with your heart’s desires, and don’t settle for anything less. Your future self will thank you.