by heartsdesireintl | Oct 3, 2014 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
“How do I find my soulmate?
“How do I know if he’s my soulmate?”
Those are probably two of the most-frequently asked questions I hear from women! And who can blame them? Everyone wants to know that the next person they date or the man who they are with is, in fact, “The One,” their soulmate.
When my first husband, Andy, passed away, I swore that that was it for me. I was so upset and saddened at the thought that my once-in-a lifetime love – my soulmate – had come and gone and I’d no longer have the experience of sharing my life and soul with someone who truly and unconditionally loved me as much as I loved him.
Thankfully, I was wrong!
When I met and began falling in love with Ric, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was the one I’d be spending the rest of my life with. I was ecstatic that I had been wrong about there only being one person in all the world who would I would love and who would love me in such a powerful, passionate, incredible way!
While the idea of having one soulmate that has been predestined to share his life with you can seem very romantic, that belief is fed by a fear of scarcity, which is what has so many women – perhaps even you – think that you have to find that one, “perfect” guy, or your doomed to experience a lifetime of loneliness.
That is scary. And depressing.
The truth is that there is an abundance of wonderful, loving, men who are also seeking out someone with whom they would like to spend their lives. In fact, they are out there, looking for you! And the great news is that, as you meet and get to know them, then you get to choose which ones you’d like to get to know better, and, eventually, which one you’d like to spend the rest of your life with.
So, the question remains: How do you find your soulmate?
Well, it begins with YOU.
Whether you are single and looking to attract your soulmate or you’re in a relationship with someone that doesn’t feel like everything you thought it would be, loving and being loved by your soulmate begins with being crystal-clear about what it is that you want to experience in a relationship.
If you want to experience love, passion, and fun in your relationship, then be loving, passionate, and fun NOW.
If you want to experience trust, compassion, and forgiveness in your relationship, be trusting and trustworthy, compassionate, and forgiving NOW.
If you want to experience a drama-free, peaceful, and easy-flowing relationship, then stop creating and inviting drama into your life, seek to be peaceful with others, and be open to not having to control and manage everything and everyone in your life.
How you attract your soulmate is that you are BEing everything you want to experience in your relationship in your life right now!
And in BEing everything your heart desires, you are living from your soul!
The love that you want, dream of, and long for isn’t something that is or that you will find anywhere outside of you. Like attracts like. So, if you want to attract someone who is going to give you the experience you would like to have in love for the rest of your life, you need to start being that in your life NOW.
That is how he will recognize you! And that is how he will be drawn to you!
This may sound “woo-woo” to you. You can choose to believe it or not. But if you haven’t found your soulmate yet, or if you thought the man you are with was your soulmate and you’re beginning to doubt it, consider that being with your soulmate is not about fate, or chance, or luck. It’s about you BEing that amazing, irresistibly alluring love magnet that he simply can’t resist falling in love with!
If you’d like to hear more about how to BE the love you want to see and experience with a soulmate, I invite you to check out the interview that airs today on the Global Latino Summit! One of my very good friends and internationally renowned author and speaker, Deborah Deras, interviewed me on “How to Go From Heartbreak to Finding Your Soulmate.”
This was one of the most fun and heart-warming interviews I’ve done to date, and I know you’ll really enjoy it! Just click here to register for the Global Latino Summit, and you’ll receive instant access to the interview, as well as the other amazing interviews she is making available. But hurry! This interview is only available for 24 hours, so you’ll want to head on over the GLS site now!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
P.S. Ready to attract your soulmate or transform your relationship in 2015? I’m opening enrollment for my VIP Private Coaching Program now! Click here to set up a time to talk and see if this program is right for you! Let’s make 2015 the year your dreams come true!
by heartsdesireintl | Sep 15, 2014 | breakups, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
This weekend I attended a very powerful UN-Conference hosted by the Women’s Prosperity Network and there was a question that kept being asked all weekend long:
What does “success” mean to YOU?
When most people think about success, they think about the goals they have achieved, how much money they are making, and what position or title they hold in their career.
Certainly, those things make up a part of success, but there are so many other aspects to our lives: family, health, spirituality, and, of course, our love lives.
Do you include those things in your definition of success?
I do. Michelle does. And I hope you do, too!
See, when you experience success in some parts of our lives, it’s not surprising that, no matter how many achievements, accolades, and awards we receive, there is still a part of you that feels unfulfilled – empty, even, as if there is an insatiable hole that just can’t seem to be filled, no matter how good things appear to be going.
This is because success – true success – consists of feeling happy, secure, and fulfilled in all of the areas of our lives. So, when we don’t feel that – and, even worse, when we deny that we want to feel successful in all of the areas of our lives (especially our romantic lives!) – there is a direct impact on our sense of aliveness, fulfillment, peace, and joy.
So, now I’ll ask you a different question:
Do you want to experience success in every area of your life?
If so, you just made my day, because I have several events I will be inviting you to attend this month that are going to not just going to tell you why it’s important to experience success in every area of your life, but they will show you how to do it!
The first two events take place this week, so I wanted to make sure I sent you that information first, and I’ll let you know about the others in a separate email!
The first event begins today.
It’s the Global Latino Summit, where 27 passionate, inspiring, and successful thought leaders (including yours truly) will be sharing our secrets to success in the personal, professional, and romantic areas of your life! My interview will air in a few days and is titled: “How to Go from Heartbreak to Finding Your Soulmate.” (You are going to LOVE it!)
The great part about this event is that it’s global, so you can participate from any part of the world; everyone can attend, and it’s absolutely FREE!
Click here to register now!
T
he second event is for those of you living in South Florida!
Come join me tomorrow, Tuesday, September 16th, where I will be speaking at the Coral Gables Chamber of Commerce Women’s Business Network Luncheon about “You CAN Have it All: How to Go from Invincible in the Workplace to Irresistible in Your Love Life!”
Not only will this event give you an opportunity to meet and network with some pretty amazing women, but you’ll get a delicious lunch, and I’ll get a chance to meet you in person, which I would love!!! All of the information regarding this event is included in the image:
If you will be attending either or both of these events, please let me know by commenting below, so that I can welcome you personally!
Success is about experiencing joy, peace, and fulfillment in every area of our lives. Join me in participating in these two fantastic events so that together we can continue expanding our ability to learn, grow, and love!
P.S. Remember to reply and let me know if you’ll be coming to either or both events! Knowing you’ll be there makes such a difference for me! 🙂
by heartsdesireintl | Sep 9, 2014 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Romance, Success
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever felt like something is just too hard and it’s time to give up – even when it’s something you really want or believe in, like a dream or a goal you’ve been working on for some time?
Many times, when I’m on my runs, I tell myself I’m not going to stop until I reach a certain distance. There are times when my legs are aching, sweat is dripping into my eyes, and I feel like my chest will explode, and I just want to stop. And, sometimes, I do. But the moment I do, I check the app I use while running, and if I haven’t reached that preset distance, I will literally say to myself aloud, “Don’t you dare stop now!”
Pretty tough, right?
Well, I’ve found that sometimes I need to get real with myself, or else I’ll quit before it’s time to stop. If I don’t remind myself of what my goals are, the milestone I set, and why I’m doing something, left to my own devices, I’ll quit when things get a little too uncomfortable for me – whether it’s in running, a goal I’ve set for myself in business, my well-being, and, yes, my relationship.
What about you? Are you getting ready to give up on something?
I speak to a lot of women – women of all ages, cultures, and relationship statuses – and there’s common question that comes up:
“Do you think there’s hope for me?”
Maybe you’re a single woman who’s become frustrated with dating unavailable men or men you’re not really attracted to, or the fact you haven’t gone on a date for months (or years) and you’re wondering whether you’re just meant to be alone.
Maybe you’ve been in an on-again-off-again relationship for several years, or one in which you’ve been waiting for him to commit or proposed to you, or things just seem to be unraveling at the seams, and you wonder whether it’s time to call it quits.
Maybe you’re in a marriage where things have been on a downward spiral for a while, or you feel like you’re just housemates or co-parents, and you wonder whether it’s even worth possible to bring the love and romance you once shared together.
And maybe you’re like many of my clients and you’ve taken several courses, read many books, and done a ton of spiritual and inner work and you’re asking yourself why these thing seem to lead everyone else in the directions of their dreams, but not yours, and you’re wondering whether there’s simply something “broken” inside of you.
I don’t know where you are, but I do know this:
The only surefire way to not reach your goals and for your dreams not to come true is for you to decide to give up!
That’s the only thing that will guarantee that you won’t get what your heart desires.
So, I’m going to say this with all of my love:
Don’t you dare stop now!
What if there’s something you didn’t know you could do to turn your love life around?
What if there’s just a little more work to do to finally get the things that have been blocking love from coming to you out of your way?
What if the next guy you meet in person or online is the one who’s been looking for you all along?
What if the man you love is just waiting for a sign that you’re not ready to give up on your relationship?
What if there is still hope?
Are you seriously willing to give up without doing everything you can to make your dreams come true?
If you’re not ready to give up yet, then take out a piece of paper and answer these questions:
- What is it that my heart truly desires?
- What is making me want to stop and is in the way of me having this be realized in my life?
- Is there someone who or something that can help me discover how to get past this?
- Am I courageous enough to reach out for help and do what it takes and not give up?
- What’s the next action step I will take, rather than stop and give up?
I know you’re tired. I know you’re afraid. But I also know that you can be courageous and unstoppable. I know you can take that next action step. And I know that you don’t have to do it alone!
If you’d like support (and a nice, hard push) in taking that next step, then you can always reach out to me and step up a time to talk!
I’m not giving up on you, so don’t you dare give up on you, either!
by heartsdesireintl | Aug 27, 2014 | Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
I’ve been going back and forth about whether or not to write this post, and I decided that, since it’s been on my mind so much, I need to.
Last Friday I attended the funeral of one of my very first clients. She was a young, vibrant woman who was into health and fitness, and left behind two beautiful teenage sons, and a loving husband.
When I first heard that she had passed away, I couldn’t believe it. She had done everything in her power to fight the cancer that was attacking her body, but never her spirit. She had thousands of people praying for and encouraging her. She was so loved that in just two days, her friends and family raised almost all of the $30,000 that was going to go toward helping pay for her to participate in a completely natural and holistic healing program.
Unfortunately, she passed away the day she was supposed to travel to the center to begin her treatment.
As I walked through a store the following day, I found myself hurrying to pay and get to my car because I knew I was about to break down in front of everyone. I just kept thinking about her and the time we spent working together when she attended one of my courses. I thought about how hopeless she felt at the beginning of the course. I remembered her sighing heavily and saying, “I don’t even know if there is hope for us” (referring to her and her husband’s marriage).
She wasn’t the “easiest” client. Almost every suggestion I made was met with resistance and a reason why it wouldn’t work for her and her husband. There were times when she felt hopeless, where she didn’t feel like doing the exercises I’d assign between sessions, and where I wondered if she would come around. I worked with her with loving compassion, because I know how scary it can be to get your hopes up when you wonder if things will ever really change.
Over the past five years we didn’t keep in touch very often, except for a few phone calls and commenting on and liking one another another’s Facebook posts. I did, however, always smile when she would post a picture of her and her husband. I’d observe their smiles, their eyes, and their body language. I could tell they were happy together, and it made me smile, too!
It was during that walk from the store to my car that it hit me that, while I hadn’t been able to do anything to stop the cancer from taking her life, because of the work we did together, she and her husband got to experience five more years together – five happy years together. I smiled through my tears as I realized that those five years may not have been possible, and that, instead of dying inside of a sad or broken marriage, she had left this world knowing that she had loved and been loved by her husband.
His eulogy of her was beautiful. He spoke of his wife, lover, and friend. He challenged us to live our lives as she did, trying to make this world a better place. Having lost my first husband, I couldn’t help feeling my heart break for him as I thought of painful days to come as he works through his grief and the reality of her not being here any longer begins to set in.
But I also thanked God that I had the opportunity to make a difference for him and his wife. That, in some small way, I was able to help them experience and share their love for just a little bit longer.
As I sat by the ocean after the funeral, thanking God for my husband and kids and the gift that it is to be alive and love and be loved by them, I thought about what her husband said about living our lives to make a difference in this world. I thought about all of the women I’ve worked with and who I’ve been able to make a difference for, and said a prayer of thanks for them. I thought about all of the women out there who haven’t had the courage to reach out for help as she did, and I prayed they’d find the strength to do so. And I thought about the difference there is still to make!
I don’t know where you are right now in your love life. I don’t know if you’ve begun to give up hope on whether you’ll ever be able to have the type of loving relationship you dream of and your heart desires. I don’t know what it’s going to take for you to gather the courage to reach out for support so that you can begin to make that dream a reality.
What I do know is that tomorrow is not promised and that continuing to wait, expecting for things to change on their own, isn’t going to have you create and experience the love and happiness you truly want.
So, just as I did that day by the ocean, I’m saying a prayer for you today and hope it moves you to take one step in the direction of your dreams.
And, as for my former client, I know that wherever you are, you are radiating love, beauty and joy. Thank you for allowing me to make a small difference in your life. I love and will miss you! Rest in peace and know that you are loved!
I sent this message to my community today and was overwhelmed by the emails that came in response — women sharing what opened up for them as they read the message.
What about you? Has anything begun to open up for you? If so, please share it with us in the comments below. We love hearing from you!
P.S. If you’re moved to talk and take that first step, you can always reach out and set up a time to talk with me so that I can help you get started on making your dreams come true.
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 25, 2014 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love, Sex, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
The other day, I was watching one of my favorite TV shows with my family and they were featuring a mother in her 40s who was almost 200 pounds overweight. She was beside herself with sadness and self-loathing because she said she had given up her dreams and could not believe how much she had let herself go after having been an athlete and gymnast in her youth.
Her reason for having gotten to this point?
Being a mom.
She shared how she had gotten pregnant in college and thrown herself into being “the perfect mom” and pastor’s wife. She described how she had put so much focus on being there for her kids that she’s lost herself and forgotten who she was.
I’d like to say this is an isolated incident, but it’s not.
One of the most common fears women share with us is that they are afraid of losing themselves in a relationship.
I work with women all over the world who are trying to prove that they are Superwoman or Supermom, doing everything, working themselves to the point of exhaustion, and ignoring their own needs so that they can please and impress others.
And this isn’t an issue that only affects mothers and wives. I also see women who are single and are throwing themselves into and losing themselves in their careers, giving all of themselves, their time and attention to their bosses and companies and leaving very little time or attention for having fun, dating, and just taking care of themselves.
Unfortunately, all of these women have forgotten that the MOST important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself!
If you don’t take the time to care for yourself by making time to relax, laugh, play, nurture your mind, body, and spirit, you literally have nothing left to give – to yourself or anyone else!
Giving to the point of feeling depleted, mentally and physically exhausted –and many times resentful, because you feel you’re giving, giving, and giving without getting very much in return – not only leaves you unable to have the energy, patience, and enthusiasm to date or create a loving relationship, but also teaches people how to treat you. So it’s unfair to resent the boss who keeps adding things on your plate with no recognition or additional compensation, the PTA President who knows she can call you the night before to do a task that would take anyone else weeks, or your husband who is not helping you around the house or with the kids.
When you don’t take time to make time for yourself, don’t expect others to go out of their way to do that for you, either!
It’s essential that you do something for yourself daily. Whether it’s read a book, talk on the phone with a girlfriend, take that class you’ve been saying you want to take forever, or just sit and do nothing (one of my favorites!).
When you make your needs, dreams, and self-care a priority, you are letting yourself – and the rest of the world know – that you value yourself, believe in your dreams, and know that there isn’t a need to “sacrifice” what you love and makes you happy in order to be a great woman, partner, or mother.
You’ll also find that when you make yourself a priority, all of those people who you love and are trying to make happy will rally around you, be your biggest supporters, and help make sure you have time for yourself and to make your dreams come true!
As we were watching the show, my older son said, “Wow… She had to give up her dreams so she could take care of her kids? “
I responded, “No, she didn’t have to give up her dreams. She chose to. We get to create our lives and make our dreams come true. A woman can be a great mother, have a happy relationship, and still follow her dreams.”
His response?
“Oh, yeah, Mama. Like how you take care of us and you’re also helping your clients and building your dreams for Heart’s Desire!”
My response?
“Exactly!”
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 22, 2014 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love, Sex, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
Yesterday was my husband’s birthday, and, at our house, I love making a big deal when it’s someone’s birthday by celebrating “Birthday Week.” During this week, the person gets to choose what we watch on TV, what we eat for dinner, and, basically is made to feel special all week long by everyone else in the house!
Well, Sunday night, I almost ruined Birthday Sunday for my husband. The boys had misplaced the remote control for the TV (again) and were arguing about it in the playroom. It was already late and past their bedtime, so my honey and I were ready for our “alone time,” so we could watch our shows and relax together.
When I saw that my husband was getting upset at the boys for arguing, I jumped in to “help.”
(Mistake #1 – Offering Unsolicited Help: Stepping in “to help” without there being a need or a request for it. This sends the message that you feel he is incapable of resolving the issue on his own. Instead, trust in your partner’s capability to resolve the situation himself. If he needs help, he’ll ask for it. By the way.. he probably won’t.).
The truth is that there really wasn’t any reason for me to jump in to “help.” My husband had the situation handled. I jumped in because didn’t want him to be upset with the boys (especially on Birthday Weekend) and I just wanted the arguing to stop. Now, even though these might be “good reasons” for stepping in, had I stayed on the couch and allowed him to handle things, it probably would have been resolved right away.
Instead, I jumped in and noticed that, the more I tried to “help,” the more angry he was getting. At first I thought he was angry with the kids, but, in retrospect, I can see that he must have felt like I didn’t trust him to handle the situation.
I did an exercise I do with the kids that helps them to remember where they last saw and held something, and, the remote was found!
(Victory #1 – Resolving the problem. This was short-lived, however, because of Mistake #2!)
Now, if I’d just left it at that, everyone would have felt happy, relieved, and the situation may have been over. However, for some reason, I simply had to make sure that I emphasized (rather loudly) that this is what you should do when you can’t find something.
(Mistake #2 – Proving I’m Right and You’re Wrong: This is an ego-driven need to prove the other person wrong. While there may be a sense of “victory” in having been “right,” essentially, there is no “winner” in this situation because your partner is left feeling as if he’s wrong or in some way “lesser than” you.)
Then, to prove my point further, as my husband was talking to the boys about them being responsible so that they don’t lose things, I butted in again to mentioned that things in the house don’t get “lost”; they simply get “misplaced.”
(Mistake #3 – Wanting to be “Right” AGAIN: This adds salt to the already-tender wound. By correcting or contradicting your partner, you once again disrespect him by pointing out how “right” you are. There is no demonstration of support or encouragement for your partner, which can leave him feeling upset and alone).
Well, that did it.
My husband yelled, “Okay, things in the house don’t get ‘lost,’ they are ‘misplaced! Is that better?’”
Now he was in an official funk…and so was I.
I was upset at myself for getting involved, sending the message that he couldn’t handle a simple situation, and that I was the one with the “right” solution. I saw how disrespectful and condescending I’d been. I was ashamed and angry with myself, especially since that’s not the way I am committed to treating my husband.
I wish I could say that I immediately apologized and that we were soon in a snuggly, blissful space, but that wouldn’t be true. It took me a while to get to the point that I could forgive myself enough to apologize to him. I made a first attempt to apologize, but I have to admit that it wasn’t very sincere. It came from a place of trying to “fix” things. I think he could tell, because he remained cold.
A little while later, I noticed it was past midnight (we always try to be the first to wish the other a Happy Birthday). I moved closer to him on the couch, looked him in the eye, and said, “I’m sorry I disrespected you, and I know you’re upset. I just want to say ‘Happy Birthday.’”
He leaned forward, we kissed, and I snuggled up next to him and said a prayer of thanks. (smile)
In the past, I wouldn’t have apologized. I would have made it seem like it was not such a big deal and then made him wrong (again) for not forgiving me right away. Now, even when it’s hard, I choose to apologize – because that’s something I can be responsible for – and give him space to work through his own feelings.
(Victory #2: Sincerely Apologizing. It’s not always easy to admit when you’re wrong. However, if you can put aside your pride and realize that what’s more important than being right, staying angry, or pretending like nothing happened is restoring the intimacy in the relationship, then you also recognize that it’s really a small price to pay. And now you’ve got a win-win situation going!)
Having a loving and intimate relationship isn’t about perfection. You may not always say or do the right things.
So what can you when you’ve made a mistake that impacts the closeness and connection in your relationship?
You can continue to focus on becoming your best self.
You can forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness along the way for those times when you don’t reflect the best side of yourself.
And you can recommit to restoring intimacy in your relationship.
In doing all of these things you can be confident that you are on the path to creating the happy, loving, intimate relationships your heart truly desires.
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
