This morning, one of my first thoughts was about YOU! Why?
See, today is July 7th, and it’s sort of my Independence Day.
Three years ago today I received a phone call that I had been dreading for years. My boss called me with someone from the HR Department on the line to let me know that they were eliminating my position. I wish I could tell you that I was the picture of grace and ease on that phone all, and I’d be lying to you if I said that. I was a mess! I was crying, begging, and pleading. I was trying to explain to them how my family really relied on my income, and it didn’t make a difference. They were simply eliminating my position.
What does any of this have to do with YOU?
Watch the video below to see how YOU became part of turning what I thought was going to be a nightmare into a series of dreams-come-true! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxgw-7mEnN4
It wasn’t until several months later that I was able to see something that I hadn’t been able to see before. I was driving in my car, on my way to a woman’s business conference where I was speaking to women about how having a really great relationship requires us to be willing to take even bigger risks than the ones we take in our businesses, because we’re taking emotional risks. As I was practicing my talk, it was like one of those moments in a movie, where a ray of light comes and I was able to see what I couldn’t see before. That was that , on that conversation with my boss, where they had told me that they were eliminating my position, they actually had offered me another position. It was a position where I would be making the same amount of money that I had been making before, but I was going to be to traveling 80% of the time. I simply wasn’t willing to settle for that. I simply wasn’t willing to make that type of sacrifice.
Where all these months I had been saying that I’d “lost my job,” I saw in that moment that I had said, “No, thank you,” that I had walked away. I had claimed my independence from that job!
I also saw how it was in the weeks and months after that time, that I would share with people that I had lost my job, and they would say things like, “That’s Great! Now you can focus full-time on Heart’s Desire,” “Now you can do relationship coaching full-time,” “Now you can finish your book!”
And, every time somebody said that, I’d get so angry! (Even my kids were saying this!) But, you know, you’ve got to look at the signs in your life, and if enough people are saying the same thing, you might want to listen!
So I started to listen and I started to wonder, “What if I could really make this my career?” I had been saying for years that I wanted to do relationship coaching full-time but I couldn’tbecause of my job. I’d said it enough times, that God and the Universe heard me!
So I started to wonder, “What if I could do it?”
I started thinking of all of the women who I had worked with when I was doing this on the side, how they’d come to me hopeless, thinking that they were never going to be in a loving relationship or that they were going to be unhappy forever in their current relationships, and now they were living in the relationship of their dreams! If they were married, they weren’t just “happily married.” They were blissfully married to their husbands.
And I really started to believe that I could do this full-time.
And that’s where YOU came in! That’s why I thought of YOU this morning!
Because YOU – and, yes, I’m talking specifically to YOU – you’re part of my mission to have every single woman on this planet experience the joy of loving and being loved every single day of your life!
You’re what gets me up in the morning. You’re what I go to bed thinking about at night. It’s what I pray for. You’re what I work for when I don’t feel like going on anymore, because I’m tired! It’s knowing that this is my passion – that this my purpose – that keeps me going.
So, I just wanted to say, “Thank you!”
Thank you for being part of my purpose-filled life.
I also wanted to let you know that I have3 spots left in my VIP Coaching Program. This is a high-intensity program, where you work with me 1-on-1, and the whole purpose of the program is to take you from wherever you are – whether you are single or in a relationship – to where you want to be in your love life!
We take a look at your goals. We look to see what is it that has been stopping you from experiencing that level of love? What is it that has been blocking love from either coming into your life or manifesting daily? Then we create a plan and we work on it together.
So, in just a few months, you can be telling people about how your dream became a reality.
If that’s something that interests you, go ahead and click on the link below, schedule a Ready for LoveSession with me. We’ll see if this program is a good fit for you, and, if it is, we’ll get started right away on taking you in the direction of your dreams and making your heart’s desires a reality!
Thanks again for being part of my life. Thanks for letting me make a difference in yours, and until our hearts meet again, always remember that you are loved!
P.S. I settled for a long time in my previous job, afraid that I wouldn’t be able to make my dreams a reality. Don’t settle for anything less than extraordinary love. You don’t have to. I’m here to help you manifest it!
Just contact me to schedule a Ready for Love session, and we’ll get you started on the path to making your relationship dreams a reality!
This weekend we celebrated Independence Day in the United States. While I’m always grateful to live in this country, on July 4th in particular I am present to how incredibly blessed I am to have the freedom and opportunities available to me!
One of the truths about freedom is that it’s never “free.” Freedom comes with a price. There are millions of men throughout history who have fought for, stood for, and given their lives so that I could enjoy the freedom I have today to create the life my heart desires.
The same holds true when it comes to you and your life. Whether or not you live in the U.S., you actually have the power to break free from the past and create a new future where you are able to experience the love and joy your heart desires! But that freedom also comes with a price.
To create the type relationship your heart truly desires, you have to be willing to let go of a few things.
You have to let go of the stories you have been telling yourself about you not being worthy or deserving enough to experience that type of love.
You have to let go of the resentment, regrets, and anger that you’ve been holding onto and have kept you bound to your past.
You have to let go of fearand be courageous enough to trust and open your heart to love once again.
Once you let go of those things that have been holding you back, keeping you stuck, and blocking you from attracting and experiencing the type of love you want,there is FREEDOM on the other side!
Freedom from pain.
Freedom from fear.
Freedom from a past that no longer serves you!
So, if you are in a place in your life right now where you feel held back, held down, and unable to move forward, I invite you to LET GO and embrace the love, happiness, and freedom that are already waiting for you!
And we’ll be there to welcome you on the other side!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
This is a completely different subject but still in the line of ultimatums. My boyfriend watched porn before we got together but we agreed he’d stop for us to be together, so he threw his CDs away. 7 months later, I found one of the “thrown away” CDs out after I came home from visiting family in a different state. He broke it and promised not to do it again. But since then, I’ve found out he’s still watching it because it was on the history (and we only have an 18mo old and one on the way, so no other adults in the house). He started deleting the history and promised once again he would not watch it because he wants us to stay together and he loves his family. Finally, today I found out he watched another one and deleted it (it had a time stamp on the computer) the other day when I went to get my haircut and our son was taking a nap.
So how do I let him know that I’m finished with his porn addiction? He needs to stop or we are gone. I love him and I know he loves us…but I can’t keep putting negative thoughts into my head when it’s not about me.
*Confused*
I know that this can be a very sensitive topic, so I appreciate you reaching out to write about it. I can hear that you are feeling very frustrated and unsure about what to do.
People have different opinions regarding porn, and it’s clear that yours is that you don’t like it, agree with it, or want anything to do with it. Apparently, your boyfriend feels differently. He enjoys watching porn, and was doing so before getting together with you, so it’s important that you realize that his choice has nothing to do with you.
You continue looking for evidence, catching him, and telling him he has to stop. He continues to promise you that he won’t watch it anymore because he loves you, and, therefore, doesn’t want you to be upset and he wants to try to make you happy. This cycle will probably continue for as long as you continue to try to get him to stop.
The fact is that he is a grown man, and, whether or not this is a true addiction or simply something that he enjoys, telling him what he can or cannot do is something that may be okay when it comes to your 18-month-old, but not for an adult man.
In fact, the more you try to control him by telling him what he can and cannot do, the more likely he is to want to do it.
As you read in the other article, ultimatums rarely work, especially when it comes to relationships. So threatening him to leave and take your children with you may get him to stop — perhaps temporarily — but it will most likely impact the love and intimacy in your relationship because (1) you’re threatening to take your children away, and (2) you’re treating him like a child, rather than the man who is the father of your child.
Telling him what to do hasn’t worked, and threatening him hasn’t and probably won’t work. The only way he is going to stop watching porn is if he chooses to stop of his own free will.
True change only ever “sticks” when it comes from within.
So, what are your options?
Well, you say that you love him and you know he loves you. The fact that you know this tells me that he’s probably a good man and father. It also tells me that you probably don’t want to leave him. So, before you threaten to leave and take your children with you, you want to make sure that you are willing to go through with it, should he choose to continue watching porn.
Another option is letting him know that you do not want pornography in the house. By expressing your desire in this manner, you are making it about you and what you want – or, in this case what you don’t want – rather than what you want him to do or not do. This doesn’t mean that he will stop, but at least you will have expressed yourself in a respectful manner.
You can also accept that this is something that he enjoys watching, acknowledge that it has nothing to do with you or how he feels about you, and let it go. I know it probably won’t be easy, given your feelings about it. However, it is possible to respect him and his choices without agreeing with them.
If you do choose to leave and take your children with you, it’s important that you not make your choice to leave about him not wanting to stop watching porn. Instead, own your choice and make it about you not being willing or able to accept it. That way, you can be empowered in making your choice, rather than seeing yourself as a victim of his.
As I said, I know this is a sensitive topic, and you may have additional questions, so, if you’d like to talk about it some more, feel free to contact me and we’ll schedule a time to talk so that I can offer further support!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
If you’ve ever had your heart broken, you know how difficult it can be to find the courage to move on. One of the things that can make moving forward difficult is when you still have feelings for the other person. Memories can be tricky beasts, especially when you’re feeling lonely. Memories can remind you of all of the great moments and make you forget the reasons why the relationship ended in the first place. And loneliness can make you think that being in that relationship is better than being alone.
These thoughts and feelings can make you believe that maybe you’re not ready to move on.
How could you possibly open your heart to someone else if you still have feelings for your previous love?
Shouldn’t you wait until you no longer have any feelings for that person before beginning to date someone else?
When I lost my first husband, I honestly did not believe I would be able to love anyone ever again. I just could not imagine ever being “over” him. There wasn’t any reason for me to stop loving him, and, what’s more, I didn’t want to have to stop loving him!
When I met Ric, there was a moment where I wondered if it would be fair to him for me to continue dating him, knowing that I still loved and missed my late husband very much. Would I be leading him on? Would it be fair to him or myself to even explore the possibility of dating and getting to know one another?
When my sister, Michelle, ended the on-again-off-again dating pattern she had with Arnie, she knew she wasn’t willing to wait for him to make up his mind about whether or not he wanted to be in a relationship. She asked herself the same questions: Should I wait until I’m over him before dating someone else?
The answer?
No!
Thankfully, neither one of us chose to stop loving the man we loved before opening our hearts to someone else. In my case, it lead to experiencing 15 years of more love and happiness than I ever dreamed was possible!
For Michelle, it led to her meeting and dating another wonderful man. And when Arnie came back to her, asking her to give him another chance, she then had a choice regarding who she was going to choose to love, and she’s now married to Arnie and living in the relationship of her dreams!
Even if you still love someone else, putting your life on hold until you feel you’re over him only serves to keep you stuck right where you are.
Now, do I believe you should take some time to grieve the loss of the relationship? Yes, of course. You want to acknowledge your feelings for that person and grieve the loss of the relationship. But what you don’t want to do is keep putting your life on hold until you are completely over him!
Why?
Because, even though you may still love him, you need to love yourself even more!
Loving yourself more means that you can give yourself permission to continue loving and missing him while also giving yourself permission to open your heart to new love!
Trying to resist or ignore your feelings is only going to intensify them. Hence, the saying: What you resist persists.
So, rather than pretending you don’t love and miss him, you can acknowledge that you do and that you also love yourself enough to know that you deserve to be in a happy and fulfilling relationship with someone who loves you, too!
Once you allow yourself to feel what is there, then you can begin opening up to the possibility of meeting that someone new who will reciprocate your love and create a the type of loving relationship your heart truly desires.
And you can do it guilt-free because you’re not hiding your feelings from yourself.
As you meet and get to know new men, you’ll have new experiences, new moments of joy, new moments of feeling loved and cherished, and you may find that the feelings for your previous love getting less intense. And, while they may not disappear completely, it’s okay.
Your heart has an unlimited capacity to love. The more you expand it, the more love you are able to feel, experience, give, and receive.
So, if you’ve been putting your life and happiness on hold, waiting for your feelings for a previous love to disappear, grant yourself permission to continue loving him, and then choose to love yourself even more so that you can graciously welcome new and extraordinary love into your life!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
This weekend, I did one of the scariest things I’ve ever done in my life, and I learned a lot about myself!
As many of you know, my older son has Asperger’s Syndrome – a mild form of autism. Recently, we told him about his diagnosis and we have taken on really empowering him to try new things, stretch outside of his comfort zone, and have confidence in himself.
Well, as they say: Be careful what you wish for!
This Saturday, I woke up at 4:30am to drop my son off at the church where his Boy Scouts troop was leaving for a full week of sleep-away summer camp!
I can’t tell you how incredibly nervous, unsure of myself, and terrified I was. This was the first time he’d be away from us for more than 48 hours – and in a completely different state!
I wish I could say that I was the picture of grace and ease.
I wasn’t.
As much as I tried, I simply could not hold back the tears. My baby was going far away and I would not be there if he got hurt, scared, or did not know how to do something. I had to trust that he would be able to communicate to those around him when he needed help. I had to believe that he would be able to problem solve and help himself.
I felt completely helpless and afraid. And it was written all over my face (in big, shiny tears)!
Thankfully, there are other mothers in the troop who have been through this and they gave me their phone numbers, have been reaching out, texting and emailing me to see how I’m doing.
Now, as a relationship coach, I’m usually the one who is helping and supporting other women through their own fears, pain, and insecurity. When it was my turn to be on the receiving end of that type of love and concern, and I have to admit that it wasn’t very comfortable for me!
I noticed how I was trying to play it cool at first, not completely open to receiving their genuine concern and affection. It made me feel so vulnerable to let them see how afraid I really was.
I also noticed how I kept thinking it was “worse” for me, because my son has special needs. I didn’t think they could understand what I was going through because they hadn’t been through my experience. How could they possibly know what it was like?
Then there was a moment where I stopped and thought about you – the women who trust me to guide you from some of the most heartbreaking and frightening moments of your lives to a place of hope and happiness.
I thought about how you open your heart in such a beautifully vulnerable way, sharing it with me and allowing me to see into the deepest parts of it because you trust that together we can find a way to the other side.
Realizing this gave me courage to allow these women who I don’t really know very well, but who I see want to offer comfort and reassurance, to be there for me. I’m allowing myself to be guided and taken care of, and to learn from their experiences. I’m still afraid and unsure, but I’m trusting, receiving, and releasing control and it feels great!
The best part is knowing that I’m not in this alone!
So, what about you?
Are you ready to open your heart and allow someone to help you break through your own fears, pain, and doubt?
Are you ready to talk to someone who’s been where you are and can show you how to get to the other side, where extraordinary love is already waiting for you?
If you are, go ahead and click here to schedule a Ready to Love Session. During this call, we’ll look to see where you are currently in your love life, what is standing in your way of having the love you want, and how to get to the other side of it so that you can experience the love and life your heart desires!
Remember: You’re not in this alone. There is hope. And I’m here to help!
Schedule your Ready to Love Session now!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
Yesterday was not what I would call one of my “best days.” I felt as if everything was falling apart, and I couldn’t seem to get out of my funk!
I know myself well enough to know that when it seems like everything is coming apart, there’s either something I’m resisting, avoiding, or not willing to look at. So, when I felt myself getting on my own nerves, I decided to stop and look within, because that’s where change begins!
What I saw surprised me and led to a really big breakthrough for me, so I went for a 3-mile run, and midway, I shot this video for you because I know I’m not the only one who sometimes feels like everything — whether that means your love life, your career, your health, or all of the above — is falling apart!
I recorded this video from Mile 2 of the 3-mile run that almost didn’t happen. In this video, I give you 4 steps that will help get you to a place of empowerment whenever you feel like your life just isn’t working.
I truly believe this will make a HUGE difference for you (so much so that I was willing put aside my concern over my hair being a mess and being out of breath and covered in sweat on camera!).
If you agree, comment below letting me know what opened up for you inside of watching the video. I love hearing from you!
So, I woke up this morning not feeling too good, because I have a cold, was tired, and a little bummed about some things that had happened over the weekend. Basically, I had lots of “reasons” why today wasn’t a very good day to take a run!
After taking some time to really go within and stop blaming everything and everyone outside of me for what was happening, I decided that I needed to look to see what was stopping me. And one of the things that was stopping me was that I haven’t been doing my training – my running training – the way I promised myself I would. And I find that any time I am out of integrity with myself, everything sort of starts to unravel.
You may be feeling in your own life as if things are coming apart – whether that’s in your relationship, your lack of relationship, or your business or career – and you can’t quite figure out why everything is happening at once. So, I thought I take a moment to make this video and let you know that it can be that you are out of integrity in some area of your life.
Now, people have all type of definitions for what integrity is. Integrity is doing what you said you were going to do, simply because you said you were going to do it, and doing it without someone having to tell you to it or reminding you to do it, but just because you gave your word.
I’ve given my word to myself that I was going to get back in shape and I was going to train for a half-marathon. And I did great for my 5K, and then once that was over, I was like, “Okay, I did that part!” and I went out of integrity. So that’s impacting, not only my health, but it’s impacting places in my business and places in friendship, my family, and things like that are very important to me. And I’m just not committed to not having my life work and not having everything that my heart desires – and that means workability in every area of my life!
So, I want you to take a moment and I want to tell you what I asked myself and you can ask yourself these questions as well.
You may want to write this down or come back to the video.
What’s not working? Write down what it feels is not working in any area of your life. Start with your relationship, your health, your career, your relationships with other people (family, friendship, colleagues).
What’s missing? When something isn’t working – think of it like a recipe – it’s usually because you forgot something. You forgot toput something in. A lot of times, we may believe that what’s not working is something outside of ourselves – our boss, boyfriend, guys on the online dating site, a family member – but it doesn’t work to point outside, because you don’t really have control over those things or those people. What works best is to look inside is to ask, “What’s missing over here?” For me, it was integrity. Maybe for you it’s integrity. Maybe it’s real commitment. If you saw the blog post on Saturday, maybe what’s missing is committed action. Maybe what’s missing is forgiveness. Maybe there is a relationship that is not working because forgiveness is missing… or compassion… or fun! If your life is boring and you’re frustrated, what’s missing is fun!
What can I do to bring what’s missing? What can I do? What’s in my power, my control, to bring what’s missing? So, for me, what there was to do was to get my running shoes on, get out of the house in the 30 minutes that I had in the 30 minutes I had before having to go pick up my kids, and get to running! What’s it for you? What do you need to put in that’s missing?
What difference would that make in my life right now? For me, the difference that running is makes in my life right now is that I’m back in integrity with myself, that I had a little bit of time to talk to you, and that I look forward to hearing the breakthroughs that this video is causing in your life, because I believe will make a difference for those of you who are watching!
So, if this video did make a difference for you, go ahead comment below, and let me know what was not working, what was missing, how you decided you could put in that was missing, and what difference it made for you!
This is Gladys. Until our hearts meet again, always remember that you are loved!
I look forward to hearing from you! Good-bye for now!
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