by heartsdesireintl | Jul 25, 2014 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love, Sex, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
The other day, I was watching one of my favorite TV shows with my family and they were featuring a mother in her 40s who was almost 200 pounds overweight. She was beside herself with sadness and self-loathing because she said she had given up her dreams and could not believe how much she had let herself go after having been an athlete and gymnast in her youth.
Her reason for having gotten to this point?
Being a mom.
She shared how she had gotten pregnant in college and thrown herself into being “the perfect mom” and pastor’s wife. She described how she had put so much focus on being there for her kids that she’s lost herself and forgotten who she was.
I’d like to say this is an isolated incident, but it’s not.
One of the most common fears women share with us is that they are afraid of losing themselves in a relationship.
I work with women all over the world who are trying to prove that they are Superwoman or Supermom, doing everything, working themselves to the point of exhaustion, and ignoring their own needs so that they can please and impress others.
And this isn’t an issue that only affects mothers and wives. I also see women who are single and are throwing themselves into and losing themselves in their careers, giving all of themselves, their time and attention to their bosses and companies and leaving very little time or attention for having fun, dating, and just taking care of themselves.
Unfortunately, all of these women have forgotten that the MOST important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself!
If you don’t take the time to care for yourself by making time to relax, laugh, play, nurture your mind, body, and spirit, you literally have nothing left to give – to yourself or anyone else!
Giving to the point of feeling depleted, mentally and physically exhausted –and many times resentful, because you feel you’re giving, giving, and giving without getting very much in return – not only leaves you unable to have the energy, patience, and enthusiasm to date or create a loving relationship, but also teaches people how to treat you. So it’s unfair to resent the boss who keeps adding things on your plate with no recognition or additional compensation, the PTA President who knows she can call you the night before to do a task that would take anyone else weeks, or your husband who is not helping you around the house or with the kids.
When you don’t take time to make time for yourself, don’t expect others to go out of their way to do that for you, either!
It’s essential that you do something for yourself daily. Whether it’s read a book, talk on the phone with a girlfriend, take that class you’ve been saying you want to take forever, or just sit and do nothing (one of my favorites!).
When you make your needs, dreams, and self-care a priority, you are letting yourself – and the rest of the world know – that you value yourself, believe in your dreams, and know that there isn’t a need to “sacrifice” what you love and makes you happy in order to be a great woman, partner, or mother.
You’ll also find that when you make yourself a priority, all of those people who you love and are trying to make happy will rally around you, be your biggest supporters, and help make sure you have time for yourself and to make your dreams come true!
As we were watching the show, my older son said, “Wow… She had to give up her dreams so she could take care of her kids? “
I responded, “No, she didn’t have to give up her dreams. She chose to. We get to create our lives and make our dreams come true. A woman can be a great mother, have a happy relationship, and still follow her dreams.”
His response?
“Oh, yeah, Mama. Like how you take care of us and you’re also helping your clients and building your dreams for Heart’s Desire!”
My response?
“Exactly!”
Comments? Questions? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 7, 2014 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Gratitude, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance, Self-Love, Sex, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
This weekend we celebrated Independence Day in the United States. While I’m always grateful to live in this country, on July 4th in particular I am present to how incredibly blessed I am to have the freedom and opportunities available to me!
One of the truths about freedom is that it’s never “free.” Freedom comes with a price. There are millions of men throughout history who have fought for, stood for, and given their lives so that I could enjoy the freedom I have today to create the life my heart desires.
The same holds true when it comes to you and your life. Whether or not you live in the U.S., you actually have the power to break free from the past and create a new future where you are able to experience the love and joy your heart desires! But that freedom also comes with a price.
To create the type relationship your heart truly desires, you have to be willing to let go of a few things.
You have to let go of the stories you have been telling yourself about you not being worthy or deserving enough to experience that type of love.
You have to let go of the resentment, regrets, and anger that you’ve been holding onto and have kept you bound to your past.
You have to let go of fear and be courageous enough to trust and open your heart to love once again.
Once you let go of those things that have been holding you back, keeping you stuck, and blocking you from attracting and experiencing the type of love you want, there is FREEDOM on the other side!
Freedom from pain.
Freedom from fear.
Freedom from a past that no longer serves you!
So, if you are in a place in your life right now where you feel held back, held down, and unable to move forward, I invite you to LET GO and embrace the love, happiness, and freedom that are already waiting for you!
And we’ll be there to welcome you on the other side!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 27, 2014 | breakups, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
If you’ve ever had your heart broken, you know how difficult it can be to find the courage to move on. One of the things that can make moving forward difficult is when you still have feelings for the other person. Memories can be tricky beasts, especially when you’re feeling lonely. Memories can remind you of all of the great moments and make you forget the reasons why the relationship ended in the first place. And loneliness can make you think that being in that relationship is better than being alone.
These thoughts and feelings can make you believe that maybe you’re not ready to move on.
How could you possibly open your heart to someone else if you still have feelings for your previous love?
Shouldn’t you wait until you no longer have any feelings for that person before beginning to date someone else?
When I lost my first husband, I honestly did not believe I would be able to love anyone ever again. I just could not imagine ever being “over” him. There wasn’t any reason for me to stop loving him, and, what’s more, I didn’t want to have to stop loving him!
When I met Ric, there was a moment where I wondered if it would be fair to him for me to continue dating him, knowing that I still loved and missed my late husband very much. Would I be leading him on? Would it be fair to him or myself to even explore the possibility of dating and getting to know one another?
When my sister, Michelle, ended the on-again-off-again dating pattern she had with Arnie, she knew she wasn’t willing to wait for him to make up his mind about whether or not he wanted to be in a relationship. She asked herself the same questions: Should I wait until I’m over him before dating someone else?
The answer?
No!
Thankfully, neither one of us chose to stop loving the man we loved before opening our hearts to someone else. In my case, it lead to experiencing 15 years of more love and happiness than I ever dreamed was possible!
For Michelle, it led to her meeting and dating another wonderful man. And when Arnie came back to her, asking her to give him another chance, she then had a choice regarding who she was going to choose to love, and she’s now married to Arnie and living in the relationship of her dreams!
Even if you still love someone else, putting your life on hold until you feel you’re over him only serves to keep you stuck right where you are.
Now, do I believe you should take some time to grieve the loss of the relationship? Yes, of course. You want to acknowledge your feelings for that person and grieve the loss of the relationship. But what you don’t want to do is keep putting your life on hold until you are completely over him!
Why?
Because, even though you may still love him, you need to love yourself even more!
Loving yourself more means that you can give yourself permission to continue loving and missing him while also giving yourself permission to open your heart to new love!
Trying to resist or ignore your feelings is only going to intensify them. Hence, the saying: What you resist persists.
So, rather than pretending you don’t love and miss him, you can acknowledge that you do and that you also love yourself enough to know that you deserve to be in a happy and fulfilling relationship with someone who loves you, too!
Once you allow yourself to feel what is there, then you can begin opening up to the possibility of meeting that someone new who will reciprocate your love and create a the type of loving relationship your heart truly desires.
And you can do it guilt-free because you’re not hiding your feelings from yourself.
As you meet and get to know new men, you’ll have new experiences, new moments of joy, new moments of feeling loved and cherished, and you may find that the feelings for your previous love getting less intense. And, while they may not disappear completely, it’s okay.
Your heart has an unlimited capacity to love. The more you expand it, the more love you are able to feel, experience, give, and receive.
So, if you’ve been putting your life and happiness on hold, waiting for your feelings for a previous love to disappear, grant yourself permission to continue loving him, and then choose to love yourself even more so that you can graciously welcome new and extraordinary love into your life!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 24, 2014 | Autism, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Parenting, Relationship Advice, Success
by Gladys Diaz
This weekend, I did one of the scariest things I’ve ever done in my life, and I learned a lot about myself!
As many of you know, my older son has Asperger’s Syndrome – a mild form of autism. Recently, we told him about his diagnosis and we have taken on really empowering him to try new things, stretch outside of his comfort zone, and have confidence in himself.
Well, as they say: Be careful what you wish for!
This Saturday, I woke up at 4:30am to drop my son off at the church where his Boy Scouts troop was leaving for a full week of sleep-away summer camp!
I can’t tell you how incredibly nervous, unsure of myself, and terrified I was. This was the first time he’d be away from us for more than 48 hours – and in a completely different state!
I wish I could say that I was the picture of grace and ease.
I wasn’t.
As much as I tried, I simply could not hold back the tears. My baby was going far away and I would not be there if he got hurt, scared, or did not know how to do something. I had to trust that he would be able to communicate to those around him when he needed help. I had to believe that he would be able to problem solve and help himself.
I felt completely helpless and afraid. And it was written all over my face (in big, shiny tears)!
Thankfully, there are other mothers in the troop who have been through this and they gave me their phone numbers, have been reaching out, texting and emailing me to see how I’m doing.
Now, as a relationship coach, I’m usually the one who is helping and supporting other women through their own fears, pain, and insecurity. When it was my turn to be on the receiving end of that type of love and concern, and I have to admit that it wasn’t very comfortable for me!
I noticed how I was trying to play it cool at first, not completely open to receiving their genuine concern and affection. It made me feel so vulnerable to let them see how afraid I really was.
I also noticed how I kept thinking it was “worse” for me, because my son has special needs. I didn’t think they could understand what I was going through because they hadn’t been through my experience. How could they possibly know what it was like?
Then there was a moment where I stopped and thought about you – the women who trust me to guide you from some of the most heartbreaking and frightening moments of your lives to a place of hope and happiness.
I thought about how you open your heart in such a beautifully vulnerable way, sharing it with me and allowing me to see into the deepest parts of it because you trust that together we can find a way to the other side.
Realizing this gave me courage to allow these women who I don’t really know very well, but who I see want to offer comfort and reassurance, to be there for me. I’m allowing myself to be guided and taken care of, and to learn from their experiences. I’m still afraid and unsure, but I’m trusting, receiving, and releasing control and it feels great!
The best part is knowing that I’m not in this alone!
So, what about you?
Are you ready to open your heart and allow someone to help you break through your own fears, pain, and doubt?
Are you ready to talk to someone who’s been where you are and can show you how to get to the other side, where extraordinary love is already waiting for you?
If you are, go ahead and click here to schedule a Ready to Love Session. During this call, we’ll look to see where you are currently in your love life, what is standing in your way of having the love you want, and how to get to the other side of it so that you can experience the love and life your heart desires!
Remember: You’re not in this alone. There is hope. And I’m here to help!
Schedule your Ready to Love Session now!
Questions? Comments? Let us know below! We love hearing from you!
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 14, 2014 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
I’m so excited! This week my husband booked us on a Disney Cruise – something I’ve been saying I want to do for seven years!
I’m seriously so excited I have no idea how I’m going to keep this surprise from my kids a minute longer!
Seven years is a long time to wait for something. There have been times when I thought it was never going to happen. I mean, we’d talk about going – a lot. We’d look at the dates and prices online, and talk about booking the cruise. We’d even set a date and then see that date come and go.
What was missing?
Committed action!
See, wanting to go on a cruise is not enough.
Talking about wanting to go on a cruise is not enough.
Even setting the dates and researching the prices isn’t enough.
To go on a cruise, you actually need to reserve your date and pay the price!
The same holds true when it comes to having the type of relationship you really want.
You’ve been waiting to be in a real, loving, passionate relationship for probably as long as you can remember.
Wanting to be in a relationship is great, but if you’re not out there, meeting new men and dating successfully, it’s not going to happen.
Talking about how much you want to be in a great relationship is not the same as knowing the skills it takes to make a relationship work.
Reading books, attending webinars, and bookmarking articles about how to have a successful, lifelong relationship is not the same as working with someone 1-on-1 who can help you identify what’s been stopping you from attracting the love you want and then help you create that relationship in your own life!
The only way to be in the relationship you want is to take committed action and begin creating that relationship now!
This is what I help women do in my private coaching program. In this program, I help you identify:
- What’s stopping you from experiencing the love you want
- What you need to do to remove those blocks
- The steps you need to take so that you can finally have the relationship you want
Because of the high level of support and attention I give my private clients, I’m only able to accept a few women into the program at a time. Right now, the program is almost full, so, if you know that you’re tired of talking about the kind of relationship you want and you’re ready to take committed action toward making your dream a reality, then reserve a spot for a complimentary Ready to Love Session now!
Think about it…
Six months from now you could be talking about the relationship you’re in, instead of the relationship you want. I’d love to help you make that dream come true! Reserve your spot now!
