Heart's Desire Intl

How to Overcome the Fear of Getting Hurt

by heartsdesireintl | Sep 29, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Infidelity, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

Do you have a fear that you will be hurt or rejected?

If you don’t, you must be superhuman, because as human beings, we all deal with this!

The real question is: Is that fear running the show?
Is that fear causing you to hold back in relationships or keeping you from creating one altogether?

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, this message is for you!

It’s a common misconception that, once you get into a relationship, that fear of rejection or of getting hurt goes away, but that’s just not true. The fear of hurt or rejection can be holding you back from creating deep, intimate connection, either way.

Here’s how it works.

You have fears that something will or won’t happen in the future because of something that did or didn’t happen in the past.

Fear is running the show if it causes you to react in a certain way that is a coping mechanism for not getting hurt.

This may look like withdrawing from your partner or pulling back.

It may look like being paralyzed and feeling like you can’t do or say anything because of your fear that it will go badly.

It may look like pretending, acting as if everything is fine, when, actually, you’re feeling scared inside.

Here’s how it looks for me.

My previous marriage was not a happy marriage. The relationship brought out the worst in me and I was often critical, loud, snappy and impatient.

I remember how I would feel every time I’d come home and put the key up to the door to open it. Each time, I would stop and feel my chest tighten as I wondered what I was about to encounter on the other side of the door. I’d just hope that today might be a good day.

My fear of being alone caused me to stay in that unhappy relationship. I would stay quiet and pretend that everything was fine, and then I couldn’t really understand what was real and what I really wanted.

Fast forward to now.

I’m in an extremely happy and fulfilling relationship, but I’m still human. So during times when I may be sleep deprived or extra busy, those qualities of being critical, snappy or impatient can come out and my fear rears its ugly head.

My fear is that if I allow those qualities that I don’t like in myself to come out – and sometimes they do – then I won’t be loved or I’ll begin to recreate the relationship I had with my ex.

Your fear may be feeling like your feelings won’t be validated, fearing you’ll be used or get hurt.

When fear is running the show you feel powerless, and that’s not the way we want you to feel!!

So how do you overcome these fears?

First, you need to recognize it and acknowledge it.

What is it that you’re afraid of that’s stopping you from having the relationship you want to have?

Your fear is impacting you whether you acknowledge it or not, so you might as well bring it to light.

Then ask yourself:- If I was standing outside this fear and standing in my power, who would I be that would allow me to make a different choice?

When I recognize myself in the space where those undesirable qualities come out and I feel the fear coming to the surface, I ask myself that question.

I acknowledge the fear and step forward to own it. I take responsibility for anything I may have said to Arnie that I didn’t really mean, and I apologize so that I don’t go back to allowing that old fear running the show and hurt my relationship.

I know that I’m a powerful woman, and that I get to choose how I feel and behave. When I apologize, I open up the space in our relationship for intimacy and love to be present again.

The truth is: You can either be run by your fears or run by your ability to choose a different experience. You get to choose.

It can take a little bit of effort to get to the bottom of these fears, which is why we’re so excited to invite you to the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want to overcome their fears in love once and for all is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

We’ve changed the dates to October 23rd-25th, and this year, it’s going to be better than ever!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Once you transform something, you don’t go back to it. Take this opportunity for yourself to overcome the fears that are holding you back in love and relationships!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Do You Work On Your Relationship Every Day?

by heartsdesireintl | Jun 26, 2020 | breakups, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Success

by Gladys Diaz

Is your relationship or relationship status something you think about every day?
Not from a place of “desperation,” but from a place of commitment to having what you want?

Are your daily actions and choices aligned with creating the relationship of your dreams?

Being in committed action about the things that are important to you creates confidence and is the path to manifesting what you want.

So what choices can you make every day that will get you closer to creating the relationship your heart desires?

Here are five choices you can make everyday to get you closer to creating the passionate, loving, fun relationship you really want.

Be Crystal-Clear About What You Want.

Without crystal-clarity, you get blurriness. In relationships, this looks like having bits and pieces of the kind of relationship you want to experience, but not quite having it ALL. Each and every day, declare what the relationship of your dreams looks like and feels like. Don’t focus on the qualities the man will possess or what he needs to have but what the two of you will create and experience together.

If you want to experience happiness in the relationship, what does that look and feel like for you?

Do you want to laugh and smile together?

Are you going to be spontaneous and adventure together?

Get clear on what you truly want and declare it daily.

2. Set Your Intention.

Everyday, set an intention of what you are going to create and who you are going to be that day. Maybe you declare you’re going to “have fun and learn something new. Then, throughout the day make sure your actions align with that intention.

BE and bring the fun! BE interested and interesting.

Whether you’re going on a date, spending time with your partner, or just going about your normal day, you have the power to create and BE the experience you want to have.

3. Start Smiling and Stop Complaining

This one isn’t just about smiling and not complaining. It’s about focusing your energy and attention on what you DO want to see and experience so that you are finding evidence of that all around you. It’s about BEing the things you would like to see in a partner and attracting them to you.

You attract who you are, so BE the love you want to see!.

Everything we see is a projection of how we see ourselves. The more we become what we want, the more we will find it outside of ourselves.

When you stand in this power you step into the power of creating, attracting and manifesting, instead of hoping, waiting or forcing things to happen.

And that’s irresistible!

4. Experience and Express Gratitude.

In each moment that you see something beautiful or experience something you feel gratitude for, stop for a moment.

Give yourself a few seconds to really feel the gratitude and love you’re experiencing.

This is one of the most transformational practices you can begin implementing in your life!

Simply try it and see if you don’t start calling more goodness into your life!

5. Choose your words wisely.

The words you say, both out loud and in your head, are very important, because your subconscious becomes a detective for the words you think and say.

As soon as you say the words, “Dating is hard” or “I’m really trying in my relationship, but it’s just not working” your brain starts to look for evidence that you’re right.

So… what do you want to be right about?

Change those words to “Dating is fun!” and “My relationship is growing stronger everyday,” and see how you and your love life begin to transform!

If you’d like some support in raising your self-awareness so that you can really start to understand how you can stop patterns that aren’t working for you and choose thoughts, words and actions that are aligned with your love vision, we’d love to talk to you! Just click on the link below and schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

This call will help you see what’s in the way, how to get it out of the way, and what your next best steps are for moving in the direction of life and love your heart desires.

It’s so easy to become apathetic in your life when things aren’t working out the way you would like, or if they are taking longer to become reality then you’d like them to.

When you choose to take daily actions that are aligned with what you want, then God and the universe can’t help but start to deliver it to you!

So, who are you going to BE today? What are you going to CHOOSE?

Are You Ready to Call It Quits? Read This First!!

by heartsdesireintl | Jun 19, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Forgiveness, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love

by Gladys Diaz

The last couple of weeks have brought to our attention something we’ve been preparing you for since March.

Since the moment quarantine began, we’ve been anticipating a trend of more divorces to sweep the nation — and, actually, the world — in the months to follow. Unfortunately, it seems we were right.

Just within this past week, multiple high-profile relationships have announced their plans to split up, all citing circumstances that just could no longer be ignored during quarantine.

We’ve spoken with many women over the past several weeks who are feeling the exact same way in their relationship.

Here’s the thing).

Any issue that has come up in a relationship during this time was there before the pandemic. It’s simply been amplified because you can no longer escape it or distract yourself from facing it.

The financial stress, fear of the unknown, health complications, overwhelm and anxiety that we’ve faced over these last several months, coupled with underlying problems in a relationship, are enough to push anyone over the edge.

Quarantine has been the last straw in the proverbial bucket.

That being said, calling it quits is not the only option!

It’s heartbreaking, because no one gets married expecting to get divorced, and we know that divorce comes with a lot of financial and emotional expenses, on top of everything else.

Ending a long-term relationship is a big deal, sometimes costing upwards of $20,000-$30,000 in legal expenses, not to mention the work of splitting your assets, selling your home, and the strain it puts on the family unit and kids.

Now, we’re not saying that divorce or breaking up isn’t sometimes the best option, but it’s usually not, and it’s definitely not the only option.

On the spectrum between the most passionate, loving relationship and ending it altogether, there’s something in the middle – and that’s the opportunity to transform the relationship.

So, if there is another option, why not try doing the Heartwork?

When you do, everything transforms.

And, when we say “everything,” we mean that the relationship transforms, as well as the family dynamics, work relationships, and opportunities that open up.

Because you don’t just work on the relationship – you transform yourself in the process!

Last week, one of our clients said, “I’m so grateful I’m going through this program right now because I’m hearing what my friends are going through who aren’t getting support.”

When you choose to get support, when you choose to see that it may be you that’s getting in the way of your own happiness, you allow yourself to recreate your marriage or relationship in a way that didn’t exist before.

I remember one day, back when Ric and I were struggling in our relationship. I had lost my temper, thrown food in his car and he’d left. (Wow, we’ve come a long way from that!)

I remember thinking, “It’s got to be easier to be by myself!”

I also remember knowing that if I was going to make the decision to call it quits, then I was going to need to do everything I could do to make it work. And I knew I hadn’t done that yet.

Sixteen years later, I’m soooooo glad I chose to figure out what wasn’t working and to do what I needed to do to transform myself from the inside out, which completely transformed my relationship!

So, what about you?

On a scale of 1 to 10 where is your relationship?

Has the pressure of the last few months brought up those underlying issues that it’s time to address?

Have you caught yourself wondering if it would be easier to just throw in the towel?

Do you feel like you’ve done everything you can to make it work?

If you haven’t talked to us, you haven’t done everything.

If you’ve found yourself wondering, “Are they talking to me?”, yes we are, and this is for you.

If, as you’ve been reading, you’ve been thinking, “I wonder if this would work for me?” or maybe even, “I wonder if it still wouldn’t work,” we invite you to book a call.

Let’s have a conversation about what’s going on for you and your relationship, what your options are, and how you can turn things around.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Here’s what we know: We are experts in relationships, and our mission is for every woman — including YOU — to be in the passionate, loving, relationship of her dreams.

We also know that if you do nothing, nothing changes.

Let us be there for you.

Book a call now.

It could save your relationship.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

by heartsdesireintl | Apr 24, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz

Should I stay or should I go?

Have you ever asked yourself that question?

If you’re asking yourself that, maybe a better question is: “Why am I staying?”

Maybe he’s not showing up the way he used to.

Maybe you’re not comfortable in the relationship and can’t be yourself.

Maybe there’s a lot of drama in the relationship and it’s exhausting.

Maybe it’s been this way for a long time and you know your life is passing you by.

Why…?

And by the way… this conversation doesn’t just exist when talking about relationships.

This conversation about being unclear or feeling “stuck” is relevant to just about any area of your life.

Maybe you’re staying in a job you don’t like and that’s not fulfilling.

Maybe your house doesn’t light you up or create the feeling of home.

Maybe you feel stuck in your business or a friendship.

Where in your life are you just surviving?

Where are you settling for less than you desire?

People stay in situations that are less than what they want because of FEAR. Fear of not knowing what the alternative will be like, if it will work out, and if they can handle it.

Staying comfortable in something less than desirable feels better (or seems safer) than the risk of stepping outside of your comfort zone to create something different.

Can you relate?

I know it was that way for me. I was married for over 12 years and at least the last three or four years of that relationship were spent knowing it wasn’t going to get any better. Did you hear me… four years!! I had major doubt that I could do it on my own, that I had what it took to leave and create something better.

At that time in my life I was doing the same exact thing in my professional life. I was in a job that I hated. But I had a false sense of safety and wasn’t doing anything about it out of fear.

Sound familiar?

So… should you stay or should you go?

First of all, if you are in a situation where you are in danger, where you experience moments of being afraid in your relationship, then there’s no question. You should go.

No woman should ever be in a situation where she feels afraid. If that’s you, please reach out for support.

Secondly, if you’re waiting for someone else to do something, or if you feel like you just can’t take the way things are for one more day, then it’s time to ask yourself, ”Why am I staying?”

The thing is this, most of the time, love is not what’s in question.

We hear stories from so many women and the first answer is always “Because I love him” or “Because we love each other.”

You can 100% feel that you love someone and not be in a relationship that is healthy, going somewhere, or what you really desire.

What’s really in question is whether you love yourself.

Do you love yourself enough to have what you desire?

And if you’re not clear on what you desire, do you love yourself enough to get crystal-clear about it so that you can find the courage to step out of what you’re settling for and open up the space for what you really want?

After my divorce, and after I finally did the Heartwork to learn how to love myself, I was clear that I didn’t ever again want to be with someone that wasn’t 100% sure they wanted to be with me. When I finally created that clarity for myself, everything changed.

Now for the question of whether you should stay.

You should stay if you feel safe and if you have a desire to make things work. Even if right now, you’re the only one saying she wants it to work, there needs to be a desire to change things.

We’ve worked with women who have completely redesigned their relationships. They have done the work on themselves in order to experience the relationship differently and create the relationship of their dreams inside the relationship they are already in.

So, if you find yourself in the question of whether you should stay or go, then the time is now to take action. No amount of complaining, talking about it, or hoping that it’s going to change on its own is going to change anything. You have to take committed action!

This is why we’re so excited to be inviting you to the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, April 25th at 12pm Eastern!

You will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating leadership coaching, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams.

Grab your spot for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass here!

In the search for love, YOU get to choose!

As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.

We’re here for you!

Are You Ready to be Liberated from Anxiety?

by heartsdesireintl | Mar 6, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz

Do you have a fear of abandonment?

If you’re dating, do you constantly fear that no man will stick around, causing you anxiety and stress through the process?

If you’re in a relationship or married, do you torment yourself with thoughts that he’ll cheat or leave?

Do you feel like it doesn’t matter how much they tell you that they’re going to stay, you still worry?

If so, then you most likely have a fear of abandonment.

And this doesn’t mean that you have a parent that left you… though it might. Any experience of feeling like someone left you, any experience as a child or teenager, can leave you with this fear.

For me, our Dad died when we were 3 years old. My mom told us that he had “gone to live with the angels” but my little 3-year old brain didn’t understand what that meant. I just wondered what would make my dad leave me? That was the beginning of my abandonment fears.

Then, when we were 15, we went to live with other relatives because my mother, who had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and alcoholism (not a good combination!) left. I wondered why my mother didn’t love us? Did she love alcohol more?

And that fear of separation and abandonment was reinforced.

Because of those experiences a few behaviors were created. I became very needy. I constantly needed others to validate me and reassure me of their love. I had a need to prove how great I was and often found that in order to do that I had to pretend to be something I wasn’t. I was super jealous in relationships and would create unnecessary drama.

In every relationship, I created one of two things. Either they would leave or I would leave before they could get the chance.

I was never getting to experience true intimacy in a relationship because I wasn’t allowing myself to go there.

Can you relate?

Here’s the thing. High-quality, integritous, confident men will not put up with this in a relationship. No matter how much they love you. If a man constantly feels like you don’t trust him or that he can’t make you happy, it affects his confidence and he will eventually withdraw or leave altogether.

Through your behavior you are actually creating the very thing you fear.

So how do you overcome this fear before it destroys your relationship?

Ask yourself – Who am I being in my life and this relationship that has me think that it’s so easy to pick up and leave me? – Asking yourself this question really opens up for you to explore the responsibility for your behavior. It also will help you to uncover what happened that had you make the decision that you were and will continue to be abandoned.
Resolve – completely accept the reality of what happened. – For me that was 1. My dad died and 2. My mom needed help and had to leave. Those are the facts. That is the truth without any of my meaning-making behind it. Once you can 100% accept the reality of what happened you can step into your power.
Dismantle the underlying beliefs. – Once you have uncovered the core belief, where it came from, and resolve it for yourself, you can uncover the other limiting beliefs about yourself. Once I accepted the reality I started to get that I am loveable. I will be okay. I am worth sticking around for.

And that’s when relationships started to get good.

Because the truth is… love is not enough. Relationships take love, respect, communication and trust to work.

So… will you do the HeartWork? And if you need support will you schedule a call with us? Sometimes this is tough work that having support could make all the difference for you! What if you could liberate yourself from fear and anxiety in your relationships? How much would that be worth to you?

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Releasing Toxic Emotions and Feeling Whole Again

by heartsdesireintl | Dec 13, 2019 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz

Are you really happy?

I ask because, many times women say they are happy when really, underneath, there are other things going on. This is so often what’s blocking them from finding love!

Now, I’m not talking about pretending to be happy. And I’m not saying that you can never be sad. Experiencing happiness, as well as sadness, are both parts of being human. As are feeling disappointed, jealous, angry, joyful, and apathetic.

These are all human emotions.

What I am talking about is when these emotions become your “emotional landing place” or your natural state. When feeling sad, angry, disappointed or apathetic become the place you seem to come back to, even after brief moments of happiness or joy, that’s when they’ve become “toxic emotions.”

An emotion becomes toxic when you allow it to “settle in” and take home in your heart. When you have these toxic emotions that haven’t been worked through, they show up, and usually in ways you don’t like and that push love away.

Last weekend, at our incredible 2020 Love Vision Event, we coached several women who were dealing with unresolved toxic emotions . When they were triggered, some shut down, others got visibly angry, some allowed the toxic emotions to take over how they reacted and responded, and others were unable to feel anything.

And we coached them to feel, process, and release the toxic emotions.

See, when a toxic emotion comes up, it’s usually triggered by a memory or thought of something upsetting. The thing to remember is that it’s not the current situation that is “causing” the emotions to come up. Those emotions are already there, under the surface, , so you must feel them so that you can then do the work of releasing them.

So how do you release toxic emotions?

1. Feel it.

As I said, in order to begin the process of releasing toxic emotions, you must feel them. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re angry, punch your pillow. Allow the emotion to be present for a moment, so you can feel it. The problem comes when you bury it.

2. Process it.

Ask yourself… “What’s causing this? What are the triggers? How is it showing up in other areas of my life? life? What impact is it having?

Is it causing you to lash out?

Are you relating to yourself a victim because of it?

Is it causing you anxiety or depression or nervousness?

Is it making it difficult for you to connect with people?

Are people being able to notice the energy of the emotion that’s constantly around you?

Another place to look to how toxic emotions may be impacting you is in your body. As Louise Hayes taught in her book You Can Heal Your Body, our emotions have a way of showing up in our bodies.

Have you suddenly gained or lost weight? Are you having unexplained aches and pains anywhere in your body? Are you having a hard time sleeping? What is your body telling you?

Also, look around you. Your life and your space are a reflection of what’s really going on inside you. Is your house a mess? Are you having a hard time keeping your desk organized? Do things seem to keep breaking around you?

If you’re feeling like something’s off, do a personal inventory and ask yourself: Where, energetically, am I in breakdown? “What in my life is out of integrity?

These questions will help you take a self-inventory to see what’s actually going on beneath the surface.

3. Release it.

Once you’ve done the work to uncover and discover what is causing the toxic emotion and how it’s impacting you, you can then choose to let it go. You can release the emotion by seeing that you no longer need to experience this emotion. Whatever triggered the emotion is usually no longer happening, and you can choose to release it, rather than holding onto it and allowing it to consume you.

Happiness and lightness are what are attractive to others and what makes your body and soul feel good! We have emotions for a reason, and experiencing them is a human condition.

The key is not being scared of them, wrapping yourself up in them, or indulging in them for too long. Instead, allow yourself to feel them appropriately, process them, and release them so they don’t get stuck, become toxic, and stop you from having and experiencing the happiness and love your heart desires.

If you’re dealing with toxic emotions and having trouble working through and releasing them, let us help you do the HeartWork to work and break through them. You don’t have to let the toxic emotions rob you of the life and love you want. And you don’t have to do this alone. Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

Yes, I want to break free from my toxic emotions!

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