Heart's Desire Intl

How to Stop Rushing Relationships

by heartsdesireintl | Jan 22, 2021 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Question for you…

Do you tend to rush into relationships?

In our work with women all over the world, there is something that comes up frequently.

No matter where they’re from, how old they are, and what they’re life experience in love has been – they all say the same thing:

They have a tendency to rush into relationships.

Do you have this pattern, too?

Do you find yourself wondering, after just a date or two, when he’s going to make it official?

Do you rush to meet his close friends and family?

Do you stop dating other men the minute you start to like someone?

Do you rush to move in together?

Do you feel like you want to marry him before you’re even officially in a relationship?

We know that when you meet someone you’re attracted to and enjoy spending time with, that there’s a natural tendency to want to be with them… a lot, to dream about what could happen, and that this triggers the desire to want to move fast.

The thing is that there’s this beautiful phase in the beginning of a relationship, and when you rush, you cheat yourself out of those special feelings and experiences that only happen then.

The other, even more important thing, is that when you go too fast, you miss the opportunity to really get to know someone and can end up missing red flags.

While dating, you want to be aware and awake. You want to notice the things that he does, learn about him and who he is, and be curious about what being with him is like.

You want to take the time to really get to know someone before you jump into a relationship, because the physical chemistry can be there, but if the character of the man isn’t aligned with the kind of relationship you want to have, then it won’t work.

The fact is that after just one or two dates, you don’t know if this is the relationship of your dreams. Knowing that takes time.

So, what has women rush into relationships?

Fear.

You may be afraid that if it doesn’t work with him, it’s never going to happen.

You may be worried that if you wait too long, you won’t be able to have kids.

Or maybe you think that he’ll get bored and move on if you don’t “catch him” fast.

How do you shift out of this fear?

Turn the attention and focus back to you. Stop wondering so much about whether or not he likes you, and think about the experience you’re having with him and if it truly aligns with the kind of experience you want to have for the next 20, 40, 60 years..
Don’t get attached too quickly. Continue to date other people until you’re in a committed relationship. It’s heartbreaking when women invest too much of themselves too soon, only to find out that it’s not the right match. Give yourself the gift of getting to know multiple people at the same time so you don’t start feeling desperate or get too emotionally attached to someone too soon..
Think about what you’re learning about the men you’re dating. What is the quality of the conversations you have? Do you laugh and have fun together? Do you have common interests and enjoy being together? The more curious you get, the more motivated you are to let things play out and get to know him gradually.

Remember that feelings are fleeting. You need to give yourself (and him as well) time to really get clear and be sure that what you’re experiencing together is aligned with the relationship of your dreams.

If you tend to rush into relationships or get attached to a man too quickly and you’d like support with uncovering the fears driving these patterns, we’d love to talk to you! Click the link below to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

You get to keep standing for the love you want and not let fear or desperation have you slip into rushing into a relationship that isn’t what you really want.

Don’t let fear get in the way.

Take your time and know that the time you put into getting to truly know someone at the beginning will pay out in dividends later in the form of years of happiness in a relationship, as well as stop you from experiencing unnecessary heartbreak and disappointment.

Trust the process and know that the love you want is already looking for and coming to you!

Are You Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop?

by heartsdesireintl | Oct 2, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Forgiveness, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

How do you keep the love growing?

How do you keep the relationship from going stale?

How do you keep your marriage from getting complacent, too comfortable, or boring?

There is something we hear a lot from women. A very common concern is “Things are great now, but what happens when _________ (you fill in the blank).”

How do you not just create a relationship, but a long-lasting relationship that gets better and better with time?

We find that women who have this concern are waiting for the other shoe to drop — even when things are going well. They have a fear – whether it’s that they’re afraid he’s not trustworthy, that they’ll eventually fall into old habits and ruin things, or they’re sure there’s something wrong with him that they just haven’t seen yet – and it’s causing them to sabotage their relationships over and over again.

The problem when you are in this cycle of waiting for something to go wrong is that your focus is on what isn’t going to work, versus what’s right and going well in the present .

See if this sounds familiar…

One of our past clients found herself in this pattern. After years and years of dating, she finally found herself in the relationship of her dreams. She had met a wonderful man, and they had an incredible time together. He would fly to see her and pay to fly her out to visit him. Things were going wonderfully, and he was starting to initiate conversations about where they wanted to take the relationship next. EEEEE – exciting!

One weekend, he flew out to see her and she found herself acting strange. She could feel herself pulling away and trying to withdraw, and when he would ask what was wrong, she would respond like most women do by saying, “Nothing!”

Well, he was persistent with asking her what was going on, and eventually she told him that she could feel herself pulling away because she was waiting for something to go wrong. – How could things actually be this good?

Instead of being overjoyed and in the moment about how wonderful things were for her then, she was worried about what might happen to ruin things in the future.

Have you ever experienced yourself doing something similar?

This pattern of behavior is so detrimental and destructive to relationships, because when men are having to constantly defend themselves against things they aren’t doing, or feel like they’re paying the price for men who came before them, they get exhausted by it, and the love and intimacy starts to chip away.

When you have a history of bad relationships or trauma from your childhood, you often spend time and energy in your current relationship looking for that same history to repeat itself as a way to prepare yourself for what may happen.

The thing is, if you go into a relationship, even with the perfect man, doing this, you will sabotage it.

So, how does this show up for you?

Does it show up like it did for this client, where you pull away when things are going well?

Do you always feel like you have to do something to either “fix” the situation or the person you’re dating?

Do you create drama in your relationship so that you can feel the dips of things going badly in order to feel the high that comes with things being good again?

Here’s how you can recognize when you’re in the pattern of drama or looking for things to go wrong in our relationship:

You’re telling someone about something that isn’t working in your life and they give you a solution, and you respond with a “Yeah, but…!”

Someone presents a solution to you, and you follow-up with yet another problem that needs to be solved..

No matter how well things are going, you don’t allow yourself to enjoy the good times because you are preparing yourself for the impending doom that is on its way.

Recognizing this pattern is one of the first steps in the Heartwork that we teach, so that you can start training yourself to experience happiness and joy. Getting to a place where you understand that “peace” does not equal “boring” is a great place to begin.

Here’s the truth: Life comes with enough challenges that you don’t want or need to u create more of them.

We often hear the phrase, “Hard times are part of being in a relationship,,” and that makes us cringe! Yes, hard times come sometimes. That’s part of life. But hard times are not a requirement in a relationship.

Our goal is for every one of our clients to experience joy, love, and excitement in a relationship and to know that those can come on an ordinary day simply because you’re together.

If you’re looking for more ways to break this pattern of drama and expecting bad things to happen in your relationship, please join us tomorrow for our Reignite the Spark Masterclass !

This 3-hour event is for every woman who is looking to make her relationship, partnership, or marriage the best that it’s ever been. We want to help you take things to the next level to experience even more love, excitement and joy in your life and relationship than ever before.

Click HERE to register NOW!

Marriage doesn’t have to be hard or get boring., Feeling peaceful and comfortable with your partner is a good thing. And just because you’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean the passion has to fade.

When I’m sitting on my couch and I look over at Ric and my boys, I think “This is it! This is what joy feels like! This is what I was waiting for!”

That’s what we want for you, too, NAME!!

Join us tomorrow for Reignite the Spark!

How to Overcome the Fear of Getting Hurt

by heartsdesireintl | Sep 29, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Infidelity, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

Do you have a fear that you will be hurt or rejected?

If you don’t, you must be superhuman, because as human beings, we all deal with this!

The real question is: Is that fear running the show?
Is that fear causing you to hold back in relationships or keeping you from creating one altogether?

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, this message is for you!

It’s a common misconception that, once you get into a relationship, that fear of rejection or of getting hurt goes away, but that’s just not true. The fear of hurt or rejection can be holding you back from creating deep, intimate connection, either way.

Here’s how it works.

You have fears that something will or won’t happen in the future because of something that did or didn’t happen in the past.

Fear is running the show if it causes you to react in a certain way that is a coping mechanism for not getting hurt.

This may look like withdrawing from your partner or pulling back.

It may look like being paralyzed and feeling like you can’t do or say anything because of your fear that it will go badly.

It may look like pretending, acting as if everything is fine, when, actually, you’re feeling scared inside.

Here’s how it looks for me.

My previous marriage was not a happy marriage. The relationship brought out the worst in me and I was often critical, loud, snappy and impatient.

I remember how I would feel every time I’d come home and put the key up to the door to open it. Each time, I would stop and feel my chest tighten as I wondered what I was about to encounter on the other side of the door. I’d just hope that today might be a good day.

My fear of being alone caused me to stay in that unhappy relationship. I would stay quiet and pretend that everything was fine, and then I couldn’t really understand what was real and what I really wanted.

Fast forward to now.

I’m in an extremely happy and fulfilling relationship, but I’m still human. So during times when I may be sleep deprived or extra busy, those qualities of being critical, snappy or impatient can come out and my fear rears its ugly head.

My fear is that if I allow those qualities that I don’t like in myself to come out – and sometimes they do – then I won’t be loved or I’ll begin to recreate the relationship I had with my ex.

Your fear may be feeling like your feelings won’t be validated, fearing you’ll be used or get hurt.

When fear is running the show you feel powerless, and that’s not the way we want you to feel!!

So how do you overcome these fears?

First, you need to recognize it and acknowledge it.

What is it that you’re afraid of that’s stopping you from having the relationship you want to have?

Your fear is impacting you whether you acknowledge it or not, so you might as well bring it to light.

Then ask yourself:- If I was standing outside this fear and standing in my power, who would I be that would allow me to make a different choice?

When I recognize myself in the space where those undesirable qualities come out and I feel the fear coming to the surface, I ask myself that question.

I acknowledge the fear and step forward to own it. I take responsibility for anything I may have said to Arnie that I didn’t really mean, and I apologize so that I don’t go back to allowing that old fear running the show and hurt my relationship.

I know that I’m a powerful woman, and that I get to choose how I feel and behave. When I apologize, I open up the space in our relationship for intimacy and love to be present again.

The truth is: You can either be run by your fears or run by your ability to choose a different experience. You get to choose.

It can take a little bit of effort to get to the bottom of these fears, which is why we’re so excited to invite you to the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want to overcome their fears in love once and for all is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

We’ve changed the dates to October 23rd-25th, and this year, it’s going to be better than ever!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Once you transform something, you don’t go back to it. Take this opportunity for yourself to overcome the fears that are holding you back in love and relationships!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Do You Work On Your Relationship Every Day?

by heartsdesireintl | Jun 26, 2020 | breakups, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Success

by Gladys Diaz

Is your relationship or relationship status something you think about every day?
Not from a place of “desperation,” but from a place of commitment to having what you want?

Are your daily actions and choices aligned with creating the relationship of your dreams?

Being in committed action about the things that are important to you creates confidence and is the path to manifesting what you want.

So what choices can you make every day that will get you closer to creating the relationship your heart desires?

Here are five choices you can make everyday to get you closer to creating the passionate, loving, fun relationship you really want.

Be Crystal-Clear About What You Want.

Without crystal-clarity, you get blurriness. In relationships, this looks like having bits and pieces of the kind of relationship you want to experience, but not quite having it ALL. Each and every day, declare what the relationship of your dreams looks like and feels like. Don’t focus on the qualities the man will possess or what he needs to have but what the two of you will create and experience together.

If you want to experience happiness in the relationship, what does that look and feel like for you?

Do you want to laugh and smile together?

Are you going to be spontaneous and adventure together?

Get clear on what you truly want and declare it daily.

2. Set Your Intention.

Everyday, set an intention of what you are going to create and who you are going to be that day. Maybe you declare you’re going to “have fun and learn something new. Then, throughout the day make sure your actions align with that intention.

BE and bring the fun! BE interested and interesting.

Whether you’re going on a date, spending time with your partner, or just going about your normal day, you have the power to create and BE the experience you want to have.

3. Start Smiling and Stop Complaining

This one isn’t just about smiling and not complaining. It’s about focusing your energy and attention on what you DO want to see and experience so that you are finding evidence of that all around you. It’s about BEing the things you would like to see in a partner and attracting them to you.

You attract who you are, so BE the love you want to see!.

Everything we see is a projection of how we see ourselves. The more we become what we want, the more we will find it outside of ourselves.

When you stand in this power you step into the power of creating, attracting and manifesting, instead of hoping, waiting or forcing things to happen.

And that’s irresistible!

4. Experience and Express Gratitude.

In each moment that you see something beautiful or experience something you feel gratitude for, stop for a moment.

Give yourself a few seconds to really feel the gratitude and love you’re experiencing.

This is one of the most transformational practices you can begin implementing in your life!

Simply try it and see if you don’t start calling more goodness into your life!

5. Choose your words wisely.

The words you say, both out loud and in your head, are very important, because your subconscious becomes a detective for the words you think and say.

As soon as you say the words, “Dating is hard” or “I’m really trying in my relationship, but it’s just not working” your brain starts to look for evidence that you’re right.

So… what do you want to be right about?

Change those words to “Dating is fun!” and “My relationship is growing stronger everyday,” and see how you and your love life begin to transform!

If you’d like some support in raising your self-awareness so that you can really start to understand how you can stop patterns that aren’t working for you and choose thoughts, words and actions that are aligned with your love vision, we’d love to talk to you! Just click on the link below and schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

This call will help you see what’s in the way, how to get it out of the way, and what your next best steps are for moving in the direction of life and love your heart desires.

It’s so easy to become apathetic in your life when things aren’t working out the way you would like, or if they are taking longer to become reality then you’d like them to.

When you choose to take daily actions that are aligned with what you want, then God and the universe can’t help but start to deliver it to you!

So, who are you going to BE today? What are you going to CHOOSE?

Are You Ready to Call It Quits? Read This First!!

by heartsdesireintl | Jun 19, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Forgiveness, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love

by Gladys Diaz

The last couple of weeks have brought to our attention something we’ve been preparing you for since March.

Since the moment quarantine began, we’ve been anticipating a trend of more divorces to sweep the nation — and, actually, the world — in the months to follow. Unfortunately, it seems we were right.

Just within this past week, multiple high-profile relationships have announced their plans to split up, all citing circumstances that just could no longer be ignored during quarantine.

We’ve spoken with many women over the past several weeks who are feeling the exact same way in their relationship.

Here’s the thing).

Any issue that has come up in a relationship during this time was there before the pandemic. It’s simply been amplified because you can no longer escape it or distract yourself from facing it.

The financial stress, fear of the unknown, health complications, overwhelm and anxiety that we’ve faced over these last several months, coupled with underlying problems in a relationship, are enough to push anyone over the edge.

Quarantine has been the last straw in the proverbial bucket.

That being said, calling it quits is not the only option!

It’s heartbreaking, because no one gets married expecting to get divorced, and we know that divorce comes with a lot of financial and emotional expenses, on top of everything else.

Ending a long-term relationship is a big deal, sometimes costing upwards of $20,000-$30,000 in legal expenses, not to mention the work of splitting your assets, selling your home, and the strain it puts on the family unit and kids.

Now, we’re not saying that divorce or breaking up isn’t sometimes the best option, but it’s usually not, and it’s definitely not the only option.

On the spectrum between the most passionate, loving relationship and ending it altogether, there’s something in the middle – and that’s the opportunity to transform the relationship.

So, if there is another option, why not try doing the Heartwork?

When you do, everything transforms.

And, when we say “everything,” we mean that the relationship transforms, as well as the family dynamics, work relationships, and opportunities that open up.

Because you don’t just work on the relationship – you transform yourself in the process!

Last week, one of our clients said, “I’m so grateful I’m going through this program right now because I’m hearing what my friends are going through who aren’t getting support.”

When you choose to get support, when you choose to see that it may be you that’s getting in the way of your own happiness, you allow yourself to recreate your marriage or relationship in a way that didn’t exist before.

I remember one day, back when Ric and I were struggling in our relationship. I had lost my temper, thrown food in his car and he’d left. (Wow, we’ve come a long way from that!)

I remember thinking, “It’s got to be easier to be by myself!”

I also remember knowing that if I was going to make the decision to call it quits, then I was going to need to do everything I could do to make it work. And I knew I hadn’t done that yet.

Sixteen years later, I’m soooooo glad I chose to figure out what wasn’t working and to do what I needed to do to transform myself from the inside out, which completely transformed my relationship!

So, what about you?

On a scale of 1 to 10 where is your relationship?

Has the pressure of the last few months brought up those underlying issues that it’s time to address?

Have you caught yourself wondering if it would be easier to just throw in the towel?

Do you feel like you’ve done everything you can to make it work?

If you haven’t talked to us, you haven’t done everything.

If you’ve found yourself wondering, “Are they talking to me?”, yes we are, and this is for you.

If, as you’ve been reading, you’ve been thinking, “I wonder if this would work for me?” or maybe even, “I wonder if it still wouldn’t work,” we invite you to book a call.

Let’s have a conversation about what’s going on for you and your relationship, what your options are, and how you can turn things around.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Here’s what we know: We are experts in relationships, and our mission is for every woman — including YOU — to be in the passionate, loving, relationship of her dreams.

We also know that if you do nothing, nothing changes.

Let us be there for you.

Book a call now.

It could save your relationship.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

by heartsdesireintl | Apr 24, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz

Should I stay or should I go?

Have you ever asked yourself that question?

If you’re asking yourself that, maybe a better question is: “Why am I staying?”

Maybe he’s not showing up the way he used to.

Maybe you’re not comfortable in the relationship and can’t be yourself.

Maybe there’s a lot of drama in the relationship and it’s exhausting.

Maybe it’s been this way for a long time and you know your life is passing you by.

Why…?

And by the way… this conversation doesn’t just exist when talking about relationships.

This conversation about being unclear or feeling “stuck” is relevant to just about any area of your life.

Maybe you’re staying in a job you don’t like and that’s not fulfilling.

Maybe your house doesn’t light you up or create the feeling of home.

Maybe you feel stuck in your business or a friendship.

Where in your life are you just surviving?

Where are you settling for less than you desire?

People stay in situations that are less than what they want because of FEAR. Fear of not knowing what the alternative will be like, if it will work out, and if they can handle it.

Staying comfortable in something less than desirable feels better (or seems safer) than the risk of stepping outside of your comfort zone to create something different.

Can you relate?

I know it was that way for me. I was married for over 12 years and at least the last three or four years of that relationship were spent knowing it wasn’t going to get any better. Did you hear me… four years!! I had major doubt that I could do it on my own, that I had what it took to leave and create something better.

At that time in my life I was doing the same exact thing in my professional life. I was in a job that I hated. But I had a false sense of safety and wasn’t doing anything about it out of fear.

Sound familiar?

So… should you stay or should you go?

First of all, if you are in a situation where you are in danger, where you experience moments of being afraid in your relationship, then there’s no question. You should go.

No woman should ever be in a situation where she feels afraid. If that’s you, please reach out for support.

Secondly, if you’re waiting for someone else to do something, or if you feel like you just can’t take the way things are for one more day, then it’s time to ask yourself, ”Why am I staying?”

The thing is this, most of the time, love is not what’s in question.

We hear stories from so many women and the first answer is always “Because I love him” or “Because we love each other.”

You can 100% feel that you love someone and not be in a relationship that is healthy, going somewhere, or what you really desire.

What’s really in question is whether you love yourself.

Do you love yourself enough to have what you desire?

And if you’re not clear on what you desire, do you love yourself enough to get crystal-clear about it so that you can find the courage to step out of what you’re settling for and open up the space for what you really want?

After my divorce, and after I finally did the Heartwork to learn how to love myself, I was clear that I didn’t ever again want to be with someone that wasn’t 100% sure they wanted to be with me. When I finally created that clarity for myself, everything changed.

Now for the question of whether you should stay.

You should stay if you feel safe and if you have a desire to make things work. Even if right now, you’re the only one saying she wants it to work, there needs to be a desire to change things.

We’ve worked with women who have completely redesigned their relationships. They have done the work on themselves in order to experience the relationship differently and create the relationship of their dreams inside the relationship they are already in.

So, if you find yourself in the question of whether you should stay or go, then the time is now to take action. No amount of complaining, talking about it, or hoping that it’s going to change on its own is going to change anything. You have to take committed action!

This is why we’re so excited to be inviting you to the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, April 25th at 12pm Eastern!

You will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating leadership coaching, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams.

Grab your spot for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass here!

In the search for love, YOU get to choose!

As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.

We’re here for you!

« Older Entries

Next Entries »