Let Go of the Wrong Man So You Can Attract the Right One

Let Go of the Wrong Man So You Can Attract the Right One

by | Sep 8, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success

rby Gladys Diaz 

Are you with the wrong guy? 

Are you in a relationship that feels like settling? 

Are you still hung up on a relationship that’s long been over, but you can’t seem to move on?

Are you frustrated feeling like you’re never going to be able to find the right person to bring into your life? 

The answers to these questions  are so important, because there is no way to create the relationship of your dreams if you’re stuck in something that’s not it. It can get tricky, because sometimes you may be open to seeing the red flags, and sometimes you’re not. 

So how do you know if you’re with the wrong guy? 

If you have clarity and know what you want to be experiencing in the relationship of your dreams, then you know when you’re not in it.

You must get crystal-clear on what it is that you want to feel and experience when you’re with the right guy in order to know when you’re with the wrong one.

Now, “crystal-clarity” isn’t the laundry list of what you want your guy to look like or have. It’s about the experience you have when you’re with him.

Do you feel at peace when you’re with him?
Can you be yourself?
Is the relationship aligned with your values and what’s important to you? 

When you know what you want – it becomes crystal clear if you’re in it or not.  It becomes less about looking for “red flags” and more about looking at what you’re actually experiencing when you’re around him, and then deciding if it’s aligned with what you really want. 

Why is this important? 

It’s important because, if you’re not having the experience you want to have in the relationship of your dreams, then the truth is:  You’re settling. 

We know why you stay. 

You think maybe he’ll come around.
You think maybe he’ll change.
Maybe… if you wait a little longer… love him a little more… give more of yourself to him…

If you find yourself in this pattern, listen up. Stop falling in love with “the potential” of what you think you see in a man, and start looking at what is actually there. Not from a judgmental place, but from a place of who he really is right now. 

We also know that if you’re willing to settle in a relationship, then you’re struggling with your self-worth and self-esteem. You’re not getting that you really do deserve to have exactly what you want in a loving relationship. 

When I was dating, this was me.

At one point, I was dating a man who was not only married, but was seeing three other women at the same time as me!

When I look back on that experience, I am dumbfounded as to what I was thinking, because, at the time, it didn’t even occur to me that maybe this wasn’t a good situation for me to be in. 

Years later, I know what I was thinking. I was continuing in my pattern of thinking if I could just be enough or do something right, that he’d choose me. I had fun with him, but the experience of being in what I thought was a relationship with him was super stressful. I was always wondering who he was with and whether he was going to call! It was not fun at all! 

It was not what I wanted, and this was blocking me from creating what I did want. 

The even bigger risk is that staying in a wrong relationship like the one I was in can have long-term effects on your psyche and your self-esteem, and the time it can take to heal from that can be devastating. 

Another aspect of being with the wrong guy is staying energetically connected to him, even after the relationship has ended. 

 The longest I’ve heard of a woman not being able to let go of a relationship is 17 years (that’s a teenager!)! 17 years of holding on to something that no longer existed and stopping herself from moving forward and creating the relationship she desired. 

 That’s heartbreaking! 

 So, what does it look like to let go? 

 First, you must bring acceptance to what is. You must realize that this relationship is not what you’re committed to creating and having, and accept that it needs to end.  If it already ended, you need to accept that it’s over, once and for all.

 Second, bring gratitude to the experience. Recognize the good memories, the lessons learned, and the people that may have come into your life through this person that are a blessing to you. When you feel gratitude for what was, it brings an empowerment to the choice you’re making to move on. 

 Third, you’ve got to realign yourself with your values. Your values are the compass you can use to guide your life. Though your boundaries and standards may change as the circumstances of your life change, your values – the things that matter to you most – will never change. Be true to and honor them, and you will always know you’re making the best choice for you.

 Fourth, do the Heartwork to understand how you got there in the first place. What are the core issues that drive the pattern of attracting the wrong man? Behind every dysfunctional pattern there’s a need you’re filling. Get clear on what that is so that you can shift it. 

 Fifth, begin taking committed action in the direction you’re now going. If you’re having a hard time letting go, make the choice to “lock the door” and move on! Take a stand, set boundaries and choose to move forward. 

 We know that a lot of this is “easier said than done” when you don’t know exactly how to do it on your own.  Think about it… If you knew what to do and how to do it, you would have moved on from this relationship a long time ago. 

If any or all of this sounds all too familiar,  we’d love to support you in finally letting go of the past, the wrong relationships, and anything that is holding you back from having the relationship of your dreams.

One of the fastest and most life-changing ways to do this is to join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want SUCCESS in love is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

 In these three days, you are going to get connected to who you truly are, experience transformations and breakthroughs in your relationship with yourself, break free from the past, and create the access for creating the relationship of your dreams!

 Whether you’re deeply desiring to attract the man or you want to create your dream relationship with the man you’re already with – this event is for you!

 Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

You’ll even get a special “LOVE  box” filled with cool swag and materials we’ll be using during the event IF you’re one of the first 100 people to grab your ticket.  

 Once the swag boxes are gone, they’re GONE, so don’t miss out on getting yours mailed to you before the event!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Stop the Drama and Start Thriving!

Stop the Drama and Start Thriving!

by | Aug 31, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you feel like you’re constantly “surviving” in your life? 

Are you stuck in a pattern of drama?

Do you feel like love is “too hard,” or that it “takes too much effort”? 

Do you seem to always attract men that have a lot of baggage, don’t want to commit, or just aren’t good for you? 

The pattern of drama is an easy one to fall into, but it’s life-changing when you choose to shift it. 

Let me tell you my story. 

After my divorce and before I met Arnie, I realized I had a pattern of drama. One day I was telling a friend about the latest guy I was going after, how he was back and forth between me and another relationship that wasn’t working out, and how it was taking so much time and energy! 

After listening to me patiently this friend looked at me and he said, “Gosh Michelle, you have so much drama in your love life.” 

I was a little taken aback by that comment and he continued by saying, “I’m not saying that what you’re saying isn’t happening, but I’m saying that you’re creating it.” 

Wow. 

That was a wake-up call for me and I got to get really honest with myself. 

Was I creating it? 

I realized that I was. I realized that, from a very young age, I had learned that love is chaotic.

I had always had poor examples of relationships in my life. Both of my mother’s relationships included arguing, fighting, bickering, screaming, name-calling, and threatening. I had also watched my mom be “a martyr” and constantly give up what she wanted, not in a mutually compromising kind of way, but rather to “keep the peace.” 

I then recognized that I had always created, and was continuing to create, the same thing in my own life. 

My previous marriage had been filled with drama, constantly breaking up and then getting back together, and arguing about everything! 

When I got divorced, I thought I could start a clean page and do things differently. 

What I didn’t realize is that nothing inside of me had actually changed, so I continued to create the same thing in my new relationships. 

I always attracted men that had lots of baggage, had many failed relationships in their past, and were just as good at arguing as I was. My dramatic energy was attracting more drama and chaos.

And I was over it. 

When I realized I had this pattern and where it came from, everything began to change.  I broke the pattern, changed my beliefs about what love and relationships look like, met Arnie, and, together, we are creating the relationship of our dreams. 

If I can do it, you can too! 

So, how do you break the pattern of drama?

 

1. Recognize It.  Today is the day to get honest with yourself. Nothing is ever going to change if you don’t take a good hard look at what is happening in your life and see it for what it is. 

2. Own It.  Admit that if drama is showing up in your life, then you’re playing a part in creating it. When you do this, you stop being a victim to it. Take responsibility for it. You can choose to either keep going this way or create something new. And that’s where the power lies.

3. Accept It.  This means not judging yourself because of it. By recognizing that it’s there and owning your piece in creating it, you’re not blaming yourself for it, rather, you’re taking ownership in creating it so that you can change it. 

Ask yourself: What need am I trying to fill by keeping this pattern of drama in my life? 

Maybe you feel important when you’re giving everything away for love. 

Maybe you feel significant when you’re experiencing drama in your life. 

Maybe you’re just so used to the feelings of drama – worry, anxiety, loss, frustration – that you stay in that surviving state because it’s your “normal.”

If you broke that pattern, what could be created? 

If it doesn’t have to be that way, what’s a new possible belief?

4. Change it. Create a new definition of love and create new patterns. Decide what you want love to look like. And every time the old pattern shows up (because it will), recognize it, tell yourself that you’re not doing that anymore, and make a different choice. 

Choose to be love-able and worthy, because you are! 

When I changed this pattern, I decided that love got to be fun and easy. Love looked like communicating calmly and rationally. Love looked like being able to be 100% myself and still be loved. 

When I deepened the relationship with myself and decided I was love-able and worthy, only then did I begin to attract the high-quality men that I deserved and wanted to spend time getting to know. 

What do you want? 

Are you willing to do the work to break this pattern and create something better in your life? 

Are you ready to stop merely surviving, and start thriving?! 

If you are, we have GREAT news for you!

One of the fastest and most effective ways to break a pattern  and transform your life is to join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE!

In this 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want SUCCESS in love, we will be uncovering what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

If you’re tired of the drama, the frustration, and the dissatisfaction of dating and being in relationships that are NOT the peaceful, happy, and mutually supportive, then you need to join us!

We’re making it SUPER easy for you by taking 80% off the regular ticket price!

Why?

Because we don’t want there to be ANY reason or excuse for you to not be there!

You’ll even get a special “swag box” with cool stuff we’ll be using during the event IFyou are one of the first 100 people to grab your ticket.  

Once the swag boxes are gone, they’re GONE, so don’t miss out on getting yours mailed to you before the event!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

You can thrive. You can have the relationship of your dreams. 

You just have to choose it.

The Key to True Love

The Key to True Love

by | Aug 21, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Ready to Love Again, Self-Love, Successful Women

by Gladys Diaz 

What is the key to true love? 

Many women think it lies in finding the right person or having a perfected list of qualities you’re looking for in a partner. 

Some think it’s about where or how you meet the person,  while others think the key is in “divine timing.” 

What we’ve found from working with women of every age, from many countries, and all backgrounds is that there is one thing that truly separates the women that create the loving, intimate, long term relationship they desire and those that don’t. 

The key to creating true love with another person is creating true love within yourself first. 

Now, we’re not talking about self-care, though we do encourage doing all the things that fill you up and nourish your soul.

Self-love is deeper. 

Self-love is about the relationship you have with yourself. 

It’s the things you say about and to yourself.

It’s feeling comfortable with the most intimate parts of who you are. 

It’s the beliefs you hold about yourself. 

It’s the way you trust who you are and how you feel. 

It’s loving and accepting every part of you, even the parts of you you’re afraid others may not like. 

It’s bringing forgiveness and acceptance to your past. 

True self-love creates confidence, trust and the ability to create the things you most deeply desire.  

This is important whether you are single, in a relationship, or in a relationship that isn’t everything you hoped it would be,  because the relationship you have with yourself will be reflected in the relationships you create with other people. 

Do you have any resistance coming up around this?
Do you doubt that this could really be what’s missing from creating what you want in your life? 

If so, you’re not the only one. It’s easier to point outside of yourself for why things aren’t working the way you’d like to in your life. It’s much harder to look inward and be responsible for what you’re experiencing and creating in your relationships and in your life. 

And, if you don’t have the skills to know how to turn things around it can be a terrifying and frustrating place to be. We get that. 

We also know that knowing exactly what to do and how to do it  brings incredible amounts of confidence,  joy, and empowerment, because the relationship you have with yourself is the ONE thing you have total control over. 

Everything starts with you.
And that’s GREAT news!

When I was in the midst of my own self-love mission, everything in my life looked perfect on the outside. I had the job, I had great kids, I traveled with my girlfriends, and I was dating a lot — though none of those dating experiences ever went very far. 

Men would always tell me that I had an amazing life and was an amazing woman, but that they knew they just couldn’t give me what I wanted. 

I felt so confused and wondered why.If my life was so awesome, how could I still come home at night and feel so miserable and lonely and alone? 

Once I did the HeartWork I realized that all I wanted was someone to validate that I was lovable, when what I really needed was to create that love inside myself first. 

Recognizing that belief, uncovering where it came from, and creating something different within myself was such a transformative experience that it’s literally why we started doing the work that we do. 

We want every single woman to create the love and relationship that she deserves and desires, and, like we’ve said, we know it starts with you. 

That’s why we’d love to invite you to the Self-Love Secret Mission, a free 5-day challenge happening next week! 

Imagine five days where you can break-though and create the type of love and relationship with yourself that you want to create with others. 

Throughout the week, you will experience falling in love with yourself  and start seeing the miracles that follow. 

Out of this experience we’ve seen women obtain new jobs, receive promotions, manifest new homes, and create the relationship of their dreams — all through the healing and transformation  that comes through doing this HeartWork. 

If you’re ready to create a deeply loving, profound, and powerful relationship with yourself that will have you create the life and love you really want, then make sure you join us for the Self-Love Secret Mission!

Click here to join us for the Self-Love Secret Mission! 

When you dive into self-love and develop a deep and intimate relationship with yourself, you tap into and unleash your Irresistible Essence,  which is the key to creating everything your heart desires!

We can’t wait to see you there!

How to Listen to Actually Hear Your Partners

How to Listen to Actually Hear Your Partners

by | Aug 17, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance

by Gladys Diaz 

Let’s talk about listening. 

It’s been said that listening is 50% of the communication process.

Well, we think differently! 

Listening is 100% of communication because, if you’re not actively listening, you’re not really having a conversation.

If you’re not listening you’re having a monologue, instead of a dialogue, and that isn’t really a conversation, now, is it?

We’re talking about not just listening, but really hearing what the other person is saying. 

Have you ever had this experience of listening vs. hearing? 

Think about a clock that ticks in your house. Probably, most of the time you don’t even notice the ticking, or you might hear it and it doesn’t really affect you. Now think about how you feel when you tune into it and all of the sudden the ticking becomes 10 times louder and drives you absolutely crazy! 

It’s maddening right?!

Kind of a silly example, but do you see the difference between listening and actually hearing? 

Hearing involves attention and presence, and is so very important in dating and relationships.  

If you’re dating, you’re aiming to get to know people well enough to know if you want to keep getting to know them. How do you do that if you’re not listening well? 

Really listening can help you catch key things you may otherwise have missed that can cause you to either want to get to know someone better, or save you lots of heartache and wasted time in the long run. 

If you’re in a relationship, one of the most loving things you can do for your partner is to simply listen without saying a word. 

How often do you do that?

We get it,.   It’s not always easy. As mothers and wives we get how easy it is to give in to the desire to say something from a desire to support and help the other person. 

However, when someone feels heard, they feel acknowledged, loved, cared for, seen, known and understood. 

And those are beautiful gifts to receive!

So, how do you listen so you actually hear the other person? 

It starts with being in control of the voice in your head. You know, the voice that is constantly thinking about, judging and placing opinions on everything you hear. 

That voice that just asked if you have one of those voices… Yep, that’s the one!

Acknowledge you have that voice so you can start turning the volume down on it and really listening when others are talking. 

The next step is to be an active listener. 

What does that mean? 

Engage with the conversation. Ask questions and seek to understand. Refrain from interrupting and interjecting your own thoughts and opinions, but let the other person know you’re listening by showing you’re invested in the conversation. 

You can also say periodically things like, “I want to make sure I’m hearing you….” or “What I’m hearing you say is…” so that you can make sure you are understanding what they are trying to communicate. 

The experience on the receiving end of these questions is one of “Wow! She really cares about me and wants to make sure she understands me!” 

If you want to show a lot of courage, you could also ask at the end of a conversation how the other person felt about your listening. And then listen for the feedback of what the other person’s experience was. 

You can become a better listener just by asking for feedback along the way!

In communication, the words you say, how you say them, and how you listen are the keys to making a difference for people in your life.
 These tools work across the board. How would your relationships in all walks of life — work, family, friendships —  benefit from better listening? 

If you’d like some support with recognizing the blocks in your own listening patterns, that’s what we’re here for! We know the tools of communication that work in relationships — AND the ones that don’t — so that you can experience greater levels of love, trust and intimacy with those you love and care about. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Think of the number of people in your life who are important to you and how communicating better would make a difference for them. Think about how this could transform the communication and connection in your relationships.

It’s a complete game changer when you know how to use the tools! We want you to go out in your life and have beautiful conversations that make a difference for you and the person you love!

Do You Believe Love Can Be Easy?

Do You Believe Love Can Be Easy?

by | Aug 13, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, Intimacy, Love, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

Believing you can have the love you desire is the key to creating the relationship of your dreams. 

Do you really  believe it’s possible for you? 

Your answer is probably yes. 

But, here’s the kicker.: Your brain is getting in the way. 

Whether it’s been years since your last relationship, or you’re in one right now,  if you’re struggling to know how to make it work the way you want it to, there’s a belief that’s getting in the way. 

Everything we believe is given by something that happened in our past. 

Things happen. Promises are broken, something unexpected happens, people change, partners die… and we start to wonder: Can I really have the love I want?

No matter what your relationship status, ask yourself this: What is getting in the way of me having the relationship I really want?

The first thing to pay attention to is what you’re thinking in the little moments. 

What’s the very first thing that comes to your mind when someone says you’re beautiful? 

When he doesn’t call after a date? 

When he’s 10 minutes late to pick you up? 

When your boss calls you in for a meeting?

The reason it’s important to pay attention to those thoughts is because those thoughts are the ones running the show. 

They’re creating your “reality.” 

Even if you say you know you can have the relationship you really want, but you don’t fully believe it, you won’t be able to create it. 

You will always listen to your beliefs over your thoughts or words. 

So, what’s running your show? 

What are your dominant thoughts focused on? 

Do you think you can’t trust him? That relationships never last? 

Do you feel like relationships are too hard, or that a great relationship is never going to happen for you? 

These thoughts were created before you had your first kiss or your first crush. 

And that’s why it’s important to get to the root beliefs under those thoughts, so that you can dig them up and replace them with beliefs that will serve you. 

It’s like when I’m pulling those pesky weeds out of my yard. If I don’t pull them all the way out, including the roots, they will just grow back! But if I pull them  out,  roots and all, they will be gone for good. 

It’s the same with our beliefs. 

When you get to the root of the belief that’s tainting your reality, then, and only then, can you replace it by planting new experiences which create new beliefs that are just as strong and deeply rooted as the old belief. 

Those pesky beliefs that cause you to run the same patterns in your life cause disappointing experiences. Enough disappointment leads to apathy and more disempowering beliefs, and the tug-of-war in your life goes on and on! 

The conversation you’re having in your head is what’s keeping you stuck exactly where you are. 

If you’re done suffering and are tired of having a hard time in relationships, let us help you! 

Relationships are joyful, fun, exciting, adventurous, intimate and happy! Let us help you uncover what’s making it seem so hard. Because it doesn’t have to be. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

If what you really, truly believe isn’t giving you what you want, let’s talk. It can be easy!

How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

by | Jul 17, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

How deep is your connection with the people you’re in relationship with? 

Do you feel like you can be open, intimate and close with others, or do you feel like your relationships are superficial and shallow? 

As human beings, we long for connection with other people, but not just any connection. We crave deep intimacy. Relationships where we can speak freely and share our souls. 

The thing is, the depth you’ll be able to go with someone else can only be as deep as the depth you’re able to go with yourself.

If you’re able to connect with yourself on a deep level, you’ll be able to connect deeply with others and create the fulfilling, connected, deep relationship you desire. 

So what if you can’t? What if you feel stuck in a pattern that’s not working? 

A client of ours was feeling frustrated because, for the third time in a row she’d created a committed relationship with a man, only to then find out something about his character that she wasn’t okay with.

She was frustrated because she was wondering why she wasn’t seeing the things she needed to see in a man before allowing herself to fall in love and become attached to him. 

She wanted to heal whatever was underneath this pattern so she could 1) stop having to deal with the heartbreak of walking away from men she loved who weren’t what she wanted, and 2) so she could finally create a deep relationship with the right man. 

She was experiencing this because there was something within her that needed healing and she was attracting that in those she was dating. 

So how do you heal what’s getting in the way of the love you want? 

First, you must get some insight. Look into your experience of you. 

Now is the time to get real with yourself. Answer these questions, honestly: 

Are your actions out of alignment with your beliefs and values? 

Do you have a hard time setting healthy boundaries?

Do you waver on your word or struggle having integrity with what you say?

Do you avoid certain people, situations or conversations? 

Do you try to change who you are to appease others? 

Do you have a hard time trusting others?

Do you walk around in a state of protection? Always feeling that you’re unsafe?

Do you push people away before they can get close?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you most likely are disconnected in some area of your life, which will cause you to feel disconnected in areas of your relationships.

Look closely at your answers. 

Why do you behave the way you do? Where does it come from? 

If you’re in a relationship with someone right now and it feels like something is missing, look at it. Where is the connection missing? Get curious about it.

Open up in new ways to your partner. Look at what’s missing where you are and see what you can do to transform that barrier within yourself that will inspire change in the relationship. 

Once you’ve looked inward and seen where the breakdown is coming, from then you can heal it. 

You don’t overcome barriers. You heal them. 

You get to the source of where they came from — the moment you decided you couldn’t trust yourself, or whatever it is for you — and you do the Heartwork to heal it.

Now hear this:  You are not broken. Your heart may be broken, but you are not.
There may be a piece of you that is broken off, and that’s what you want to heal. 

Doing the Heartwork is about healing and bringing that piece back. 

Would you like support in healing the wounds you have?

Do you want to restore trust in yourself and others, have faith in love, let go of fears from the past and step into the relationship you desire – with yourself and others?

If so, we’d love to talk to you! Sometimes it takes someone else’s insight to see where we;re  blocked, and to learn how to do the work to heal it. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

When you heal, then you can be brave in life and love, because you’re open and ready to connect deeply and authentically within yourself and with others in relationship.