Heart's Desire Intl | Communication

Trust Yourself to Create the Relationship of Your Dreams

by heartsdesireintl | Apr 6, 2021 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Ready to Love Again, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz

Do you trust yourself?

Do you feel like you’re someone you can count on?

Do you feel confident in your ability to make the right choices?

Do you believe that you’ll be able to make the big life-changing decisions that will be best for you?

If you don’t trust yourself, you’ll find yourself struggling to make choices (especially big ones!) and then doubting the decision once you do.

This is a stressful way to live!

It also doesn’t lead to being able to create the relationship (and life) of your dreams.

If you answered yes to any of those questions above, what made you stop trusting yourself?

Maybe it was a decision you made that didn’t work out?

Or possibly you realized that you’d made a choice that you’d known wasn’t good for you and it turned out badly?

Or it could be that you simply don’t follow through with the things you say you will do (like waking up at a certain time, exercising daily, etc.) which eventually leads to you feeling like you can’t count on yourself.

When these things go unhealed, the trust in yourself fades and you begin to doubt even the most basic of decisions.

Sound familiar?

So, how do you rebuild that trust so you can feel confident in your ability to be the leader of your life?

Recognize what you’re still holding onto that’s causing you to doubt yourself.

The first thing you need to do in the process of rebuilding trust with yourself is to recognize what it was that began the erosion of trust in the first place.

For example, one of our clients had married a man who she’d known was not good for her. Before they got married, her intuition had tried to warn her he had character flaws she shouldn’t overlook but she chose to marry him anyways.

After years of dishonesty and affairs, and a few children later, she finally removed herself from the situation but she continued to carry that around with her.

She thought that if she continued to hold that decision from years ago against herself that it would help her to not make the same mistake again.

But that’s not how it works.

When you continue to hold something against yourself that you did in the past all you’re actually doing is perpetuating the experience of doubting yourself which will only lead to the same experiences you’ve created in the past.

So what do you do?

Accept the impact that the decision had on your life and forgive yourself.

You must accept the things in your life that the decision created for you and then stop holding onto the past.

Have it be okay that the woman that made the decision you made, was doing the best she could do at the time! It’s easy to look back and wish we’d chosen differently with what we know now, but unfortunately that’s not how it works. We learn from our mistakes and seeing them as opportunities for growth helps you to forgive yourself.

When you forgive yourself and let go of the past, you open up the opportunity for new experiences to come in. The energy that you were using to continually beat yourself up, you can now take and use to create something extraordinary.

Identify the values you have for yourself and consistently move forward with them.

Once you’ve let go of the past, forgiven yourself and committed to moving forward then you must do so with integrity and consistency to rebuild that broken trust!

Identify what you value, what matters to you most, and do those things consistently.

If you say you’ll wake up at 6am every morning, do it! If you say you’ll exercise 3 times this week, make sure it happens!

Become the kind of person you can count on because if you end up snoozing the alarm and not getting out of bed until 7 or if you only exercise 1 or 2 times when you said 3… it will continue to be hard to trust yourself.

The more you’re able to count on yourself, the more you’ll believe in your ability to create the relationship of your dreams!

You may need some support with any of these steps and if you do, that’s where we come in! A lifetime of doubting yourself makes it difficult to believe you can create the things that you want.

If you’d like support identifying what it is that has you doubting yourself, figuring out how to forgive yourself and let it go, or create some accountability in consistently moving forward with your goals and rebuilding that trust with yourself, book a Love Breakthrough Session Now!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now!

Remember, you are not your decisions or your mistakes.

Open yourself up and free your heart, mind and soul so that you irresistible essence can shine through!

Ditch Control and Inspire the Man in Your Relationship!

by heartsdesireintl | Mar 25, 2021 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Do you know what’s kryptonite to relationships and a behavior a lot of women don’t even realize they have?

It’s one of the things that is most unattractive to men and will diminish the love and respect in a relationship faster than anything else.

It’s also one of the things we get asked about by women the most because, when they recognize it as a pattern, they immediately know they want to adjust.

Can you guess what it is?

We’re talking about control.

Being controlling isn’t just unattractive, it’s extremely ineffective in relationships. We want to support you in understanding what control looks like and how you can adjust your behavior so that you can have less control and a lot more love and respect in your relationship.

Trying to control my husband through constant criticism and correcting was something I didn’t even realize I was doing for a very long time. It’s also what almost led to us splitting up.

What I felt was me being supportive, encouraging, and helpful was actually diminishing, emasculating, and stripping away the love and intimacy in my marriage. But it was a blindspot for me. I just didn’t see how controlling I was being.

Since you can’t change a behavior you don’t know you have, what does control look and sound like?

The most common form control takes is through your communication.

You may think you’re simply “being honest” with your partner or sharing your feelings with someone you’re dating… But the words you choose you may be coming off as controlling.

Let’s say, for example, that you would really like to have more conversations on the phone with the man you’re dating…

Do you say, “You never call me like you used to.” or “Call me tomorrow at 5pm”?

If so, you are exhibiting control.

Why?

Because, in the first statement, you’re not saying what you want or how you feel. You’re complaining.

In the second statement, you’re telling him what to do and when to do it.

So, how can you say this instead?

Say, “I’d love to chat on the phone soon!” or “I would prefer to talk on the phone more often.”

These statements focus 100% on you and serve as a very appealing invitation to call you.

Let’s say you’d like to go away for the weekend with your partner.

Do you say, “We should go somewhere together this weekend?”

Yep, that’s controlling.

Instead, say, “I’d love to go away together.”

These simple adjustments in your communication are inspiring to a man and show love for him and respect for his desires and feelings, while at the same time expressing yours.

The reason control is kryptonite in a relationship is because when a man feels like he’s being controlled, he will do one of two things.

He will dig his heels in and refuse to do the thing you’d like him to do.
He will submit.

You don’t want either of those things!

You want a man to be inspired to be with you, to desire to make you happy, and to have fun, lightness and joy present in your relationship.

Wonder what causes that almost-immediate urge to tell him what to do and say?

The urge to control always stems from a fear that something is or isn’t going to happen.

So, how do you shift out of that fear and, instead, show your man that you respect him and see him as a strong man, capable of making good decisions, and trusting that he wants to make you happy?

Before you speak, ask yourself these three questions:

What am I afraid will/will not happen if I don’t say this?
How can I say what I want to say, focusing solely on what I’m feeling and want to express without bringing him or his actions into the statement.
What emotion will I inspire in my partner by saying this?

It takes some conscious effort to interrupt that internal chatter that;s always going on in our heads and think about how the words we choose will land for our partners.

Shifting out of a pattern of control isn’t easy, but it is so worth it!

And as you practice, it becomes easier and easier to do.

If you’d like some support in shifting a pattern of control in your dating experiences or relationships, let us support you by booking a Love Breakthrough Session with one of our coaches. On this call, we’ll explore what some of your control triggers are, and give you some clear steps on what to do to shift from controlling to inspiring your man!

Like we said, many times, these controlling behaviors are things you may not even realize you have, and with some support to help you see them, you can completely transform them and create more love and intimacy in your relationship.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now!

When a man feels respected, loved and connected to you, he will do just about anything to make you happy.

Choose your words wisely so you inspire that type of connection in your relationship!

How to Break Through the Patterns Sabotaging You

by heartsdesireintl | Mar 2, 2021 | breakups, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

Do you feel like you keep experiencing the same disappointing results in your love life?

Do you feel like you’re trying new things and doing all the :right things,” but the same sabotaging behaviors show up?

Does it seem like, no matter what you do, you just keep repeating the patterns and getting the same results?

First, you’re not alone.

We all have patterns, or habitual thoughts and behaviors, that hold us back from creating the results we want in our lives. These patterns are subconscious and they stem from fears and limiting beliefs that you don’t even realize are there!

The only way to stop these fears and beliefs from sabotaging your life and happiness is to break through and replace them so that they are no longer running the show.

And here’s what we want you to know: Repeating these patterns is not a reflection of how much you want to change them or whether you’re able to break through them.

You can have all the desire in the world for things to change in your love life, and if you’re not doing the internal Heart Work to truly through these barriers, nothing will change.

The hard truth is, if you’re still not experiencing the relationship of your dreams and creating the results you want in your love life, there’s still some Heart Work to be done.

There are still sabotaging thoughts and behaviors to get to the bottom of and break up. There are still wounds that need to be healed.

You get to do the full Heart Work so that you can create everything you dream of.

And if you’re in the place of thinking “Well, what about the years of therapy (or courses, workshops and retreats) I’ve already done” or “I’ve already done everything…” if you don’t have the results, there’s still a little work to do.

Consider that all of the work you’ve done already has led you to this place and moment you’re in right now, and that because of that work, you’re ready to bust through the final beliefs NOW! Consider that this is your time for real change.

The first step in breaking through these sabotaging patterns that are holding you back, is to be willing to look at what’s not working.

Ask yourself, “What might be having me do the same thing over and over again?”

Then recognize that it’s not anything outside of you!

I promise you that 99.99999% of the time, it’s not the app, or the man, or your ex, or your past., It’s something internal.

If you have these thoughts on repeat… “I can’t trust people” or “Everyone lets me down” (along with a thousand other possible thoughts!), those are the fears and beliefs that are running the show of your life and stopping you from experiencing the fun, joy, and love you really want.

After years of hearing those thoughts replaying incessantly over and over in your head, you stop realizing that you’re hearing them, and there comes a point where those thoughts become your “truth.” …And you relate to them as the truth.

They become what we call a “Love Barrier” which blocks your ability to give and receive love freely. These Love Barriers are usually blind spots that you can’t see for yourself.But when you receive the guidance and support you need to recognize and break them down, you are able to get past them and create a flow in your love life.

Once there’s flow, you’re able to CHOOSE who you want to trust, spend time with, and love because the limiting beliefs and sabotaging patterns are no longer listening, speaking, or choosing for you..

So what about you?

Are you willing to recognize that what you’ve been doing simply isn’t working to bring you the happiness, love, and relationship you want, and that you could use some support in recognizing what your blind spots that are creating the patterns that are sabotaging your dreams?

We hoped you’d say Yes!” which is why we’re inviting you to join us at the Extraordinary Love Intensive on March 12-14th!

This 3-day event intensive is designed to have you break through those Love Barriers, transform your love life, and attract and create the extraordinary, loving relationship of your dreams!

You will come out of this immersive weekend experience having more clarity about who you are and the patterns that are holding you back.

You’ll do some of the deep and transformational Heartwork that’s necessary to break these patterns, and you’ll be so much closer to creating the relationship of your dreams.

The powerful thing about these events is that when you’re there with us LIVE, you remember the work that you do. These patterns can be broken up once and for all, because what you’re experiencing it LIVE at the event is that powerful.

Claim your ticket to the Extraordinary Love Intensive

Don’t wait. Don’t keep putting your happiness on hold. I probably don’t need to tell you that waiting is another self-sabotaging behavior pattern that you can break free from now!

Claim Your Ticket Now!

Vulnerability is the KEY to Connection!

by heartsdesireintl | Feb 22, 2021 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

Did you know that vulnerability is your superpower?

Why?

Because vulnerability is the key to creating the loving, passionate, connected relationship you want.

So what does vulnerability look like?

Vulnerability is…

Trusting yourself to know who to trust
Sharing authentically and honestly, yet appropriately
Being vulnerable and honest with yourself
Having clarity with yourself and living in an alignment with your values and who you really are.
The ability to be yourself without beating yourself up.

So what stops you from being vulnerable?

Fear.

If you aren’t being 100% vulnerable with others then there is a fear at play behind the scenes.

Fear of disappointment.

Fear of what others might think.

Fear that if you do _____ then ______ will (or wont’) happen.

Fear that if you say ________ then they will think _______.

Fear that if you show up as yourself, people won’t like or approve.

Do any of these fears show up for you?

If you’re afraid of being vulnerable, there is some pain you’re trying to avoid or something you’re trying to force/make happen.

These fears lead us to either pretend, hide, or resist.

They lead us to try to control how everyone around us thinks and feels.

They lead us to think that we must show up one way in order to get a certain reaction from people.

How exhausting!

What’s worse is that people can usually pick up on the inauthenticity.Most people are be able to feel the insecurity behind everything you’re trying to cover up, and, eventually, it will all come out.

Imagine going on a date with you and all of the things you’re trying to control…
It’s you, him, and a pile of fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs sitting across from each other.

Doesn’t sound very fun, right? Or very real.

So how do you overcome these fears and show up with vulnerability in order to create genuine connection?

You do the Heartwork to uncover and heal those fears.

You learn how to express yourself with intention so that your authentic and honest shares come out in a way where they can be received and respected.

You practice. The more you practice vulnerability, the more confident you will feel in simply being yourself.

Now, we know that it’s usually easier said than done. (If you knew how to do all of this, you’d probably already be doing it, right?)

Doing the HeartWork to tear down the walls of pretense and stepping into your authentic and Irresistible Essence takes knowing what to do, what not to do, and what to do differently.

That’s where we come in, and that’s why we’re inviting you to join us at the Extraordinary Love Intensive on March 12-14th! This 3-day event intensive is designed to have you break through your Love Barriers, transform your love life, and attract and create the extraordinary, loving relationship of your dreams!

You will come out of this incredible weekend having more clarity about who you are and the patterns that are holding you back. You’ll do some of the deep and transformational Heartwork that’s necessary to break these patterns and you’ll be so much closer to creating the relationship of your dreams. This is the work we usually only do with our clients, but we want to share it with YOU so that you can stop pretending and start BEing the authentic, vulnerable irresistible version of yourself that is going to have you attract an amazing man with whom you get to create Extraordinary Love!

Life doesn’t stop. Time is going to keep going by, no matter what choices you make.
Why not make a choice that’s going to lead to more joy, love, happiness and freedom in your life…And the kind of love you’ve always wanted?!

Claim Your Ticket Now!
Hurry! Before the 2-pay option goes away!

Vulnerability is the only way to create true love.

Let us guide you toward the life and love your heart desires!

How to Stop Rushing Relationships

by heartsdesireintl | Jan 22, 2021 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Question for you…

Do you tend to rush into relationships?

In our work with women all over the world, there is something that comes up frequently.

No matter where they’re from, how old they are, and what they’re life experience in love has been – they all say the same thing:

They have a tendency to rush into relationships.

Do you have this pattern, too?

Do you find yourself wondering, after just a date or two, when he’s going to make it official?

Do you rush to meet his close friends and family?

Do you stop dating other men the minute you start to like someone?

Do you rush to move in together?

Do you feel like you want to marry him before you’re even officially in a relationship?

We know that when you meet someone you’re attracted to and enjoy spending time with, that there’s a natural tendency to want to be with them… a lot, to dream about what could happen, and that this triggers the desire to want to move fast.

The thing is that there’s this beautiful phase in the beginning of a relationship, and when you rush, you cheat yourself out of those special feelings and experiences that only happen then.

The other, even more important thing, is that when you go too fast, you miss the opportunity to really get to know someone and can end up missing red flags.

While dating, you want to be aware and awake. You want to notice the things that he does, learn about him and who he is, and be curious about what being with him is like.

You want to take the time to really get to know someone before you jump into a relationship, because the physical chemistry can be there, but if the character of the man isn’t aligned with the kind of relationship you want to have, then it won’t work.

The fact is that after just one or two dates, you don’t know if this is the relationship of your dreams. Knowing that takes time.

So, what has women rush into relationships?

Fear.

You may be afraid that if it doesn’t work with him, it’s never going to happen.

You may be worried that if you wait too long, you won’t be able to have kids.

Or maybe you think that he’ll get bored and move on if you don’t “catch him” fast.

How do you shift out of this fear?

Turn the attention and focus back to you. Stop wondering so much about whether or not he likes you, and think about the experience you’re having with him and if it truly aligns with the kind of experience you want to have for the next 20, 40, 60 years..
Don’t get attached too quickly. Continue to date other people until you’re in a committed relationship. It’s heartbreaking when women invest too much of themselves too soon, only to find out that it’s not the right match. Give yourself the gift of getting to know multiple people at the same time so you don’t start feeling desperate or get too emotionally attached to someone too soon..
Think about what you’re learning about the men you’re dating. What is the quality of the conversations you have? Do you laugh and have fun together? Do you have common interests and enjoy being together? The more curious you get, the more motivated you are to let things play out and get to know him gradually.

Remember that feelings are fleeting. You need to give yourself (and him as well) time to really get clear and be sure that what you’re experiencing together is aligned with the relationship of your dreams.

If you tend to rush into relationships or get attached to a man too quickly and you’d like support with uncovering the fears driving these patterns, we’d love to talk to you! Click the link below to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

You get to keep standing for the love you want and not let fear or desperation have you slip into rushing into a relationship that isn’t what you really want.

Don’t let fear get in the way.

Take your time and know that the time you put into getting to truly know someone at the beginning will pay out in dividends later in the form of years of happiness in a relationship, as well as stop you from experiencing unnecessary heartbreak and disappointment.

Trust the process and know that the love you want is already looking for and coming to you!

Let Go of Your Checklist to Find the Love Your Heart Desires

by heartsdesireintl | Dec 11, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Getting engaged, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Ready to Love Again

by Gladys Diaz

If you’re dating, do you have a checklist for what you’re looking for in man?

Whether it’s a physical list you’ve written down or a mental checklist you keep in your head, do you have one?

If you do, you could absolutely miss the love that’s standing right in front of you.

Don’t believe us? Read on. 🙂

This week on Love Chat with the Love Twins, we had a powerful and fun conversation with one of our clients, Ellen, who’s story exemplifies this perfectly. (Did you miss it? Watch it HERE.)

Ellen is a teacher and single mom of a teenage daughter who had been divorced for 6 years. When she met us, she was dating again and had a very long, and specific, checklist of what she was looking for.

She wanted a man who was older than her, who had grown kids, was Jewish like her, didn’t have a cat… and the list went on and on. She had all of this outlined on her dating profile and would get messages from men saying things like, “Well I made it to number 14!”

This was not working for her!

So, she came to our event, New Love in the New Year, because she didn’t know how to attract the kind of man and relationship she was looking for. She wanted to be a good example for her daughter of how to approach dating and relationships in a healthy way and knew that she was most likely sabotaging her success altogether.

Through her experience at the event, she had some incredible breakthroughs!

She gained awareness and started seeing her patterns in dating that weren’t working.
She realized that her energy and negative thoughts around dating were influencing who she was attracting, and shifted from trying to “get” a man to “attracting” the man she wanted by being herself.
She understood that she could be herself on dates and in budding relationships instead of always trying to fit into a mold of what the other person was looking for.

Through the coaching she did with us, she was able to let go of her checklist and realize that you have to actually fall in love with someone — the actual person, not just who they are on paper!

She learned that her checklist was about trying to control the situation and who showed up in her life, which was all based in fear.

As she recognized and released her fears, she was able to open up to what could be possible and started paying attention to what she wanted to experience in a relationship.

She realized that letting go of the checklist is not about lowering your standards.

It was about breaking down the wall of fears so that she could experience what she wanted to experience in a relationship!

And that’s when Ross came into the picture.

He sent her a thoughtful, kind message on the dating app, and it caught her attention.

She looked at his profile and saw that he was a couple of years younger than her and he had younger kids. (Not what she was looking for!)

Normally, she would have looked the other way and not even messaged him back.

But, because of what she’d learned in the program, she opened up and responded with love and curiosity.

She’d shifted her perspective, and her experience was different.

In her words, “I was no longer searching for my husband. I was just responding to someone and being kind. I wasn’t feeling so desperate to find it and that’s when it started coming to me.”

She got to know Ross, and she was attracted to his kindness, emotional intelligence and thoughtfulness.

Their children got along beautifully, and he didn’t mind that she was still friends with her ex-husband.

He stimulated her emotionally, mentally and physically, and now they are engaged to get married!

When she looks back, she sees that, had she not shifted her mindset around her checklist, she would never have met him.

So many women worry that if they let go of their checklist they will have to settle for a bunch of things they don’t want.

The truth is, if you stop focusing on what you don’t want, then you open up the space for what you do want to come in.

When you shift the focus to what you want to experience in a relationship, instead of what you want the man to be or have, you open up the door to actually see him!

Ellen said, “A year ago, I would never have imagined that I’d be here. All of the things I didn’t know I could want again, I’m getting.”

And you can have everything you want too.

If you already know you’re ready for and you want to hear what it’s like to be in this kind of relationship, we have an easy way for you to do this!

Join us this Sunday for a very special Fireside Chat with Us and Our Husbands!

This is going to be a very special and intimate evening where the four of us will share with you exactly how we’ve created the love, connection, intimacy and joy we experience in our relationships, and how you can create the same.

We’re going to be answering questions, sharing stories and opening up space in your heart for what you really desire to experience so that you can have exactly what you desire!

Register Here

You see, having the love you want is not just about finding a man. It’s about finding yourself, building trust, and knowing that you can create the relationship of your dreams!

Join us and open up to what’s possible for you and your love life as you go into the new year!

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