Heart's Desire Intl | Communication

How to Stop Rushing Relationships

by heartsdesireintl | Jan 22, 2021 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Question for you…

Do you tend to rush into relationships?

In our work with women all over the world, there is something that comes up frequently.

No matter where they’re from, how old they are, and what they’re life experience in love has been – they all say the same thing:

They have a tendency to rush into relationships.

Do you have this pattern, too?

Do you find yourself wondering, after just a date or two, when he’s going to make it official?

Do you rush to meet his close friends and family?

Do you stop dating other men the minute you start to like someone?

Do you rush to move in together?

Do you feel like you want to marry him before you’re even officially in a relationship?

We know that when you meet someone you’re attracted to and enjoy spending time with, that there’s a natural tendency to want to be with them… a lot, to dream about what could happen, and that this triggers the desire to want to move fast.

The thing is that there’s this beautiful phase in the beginning of a relationship, and when you rush, you cheat yourself out of those special feelings and experiences that only happen then.

The other, even more important thing, is that when you go too fast, you miss the opportunity to really get to know someone and can end up missing red flags.

While dating, you want to be aware and awake. You want to notice the things that he does, learn about him and who he is, and be curious about what being with him is like.

You want to take the time to really get to know someone before you jump into a relationship, because the physical chemistry can be there, but if the character of the man isn’t aligned with the kind of relationship you want to have, then it won’t work.

The fact is that after just one or two dates, you don’t know if this is the relationship of your dreams. Knowing that takes time.

So, what has women rush into relationships?

Fear.

You may be afraid that if it doesn’t work with him, it’s never going to happen.

You may be worried that if you wait too long, you won’t be able to have kids.

Or maybe you think that he’ll get bored and move on if you don’t “catch him” fast.

How do you shift out of this fear?

Turn the attention and focus back to you. Stop wondering so much about whether or not he likes you, and think about the experience you’re having with him and if it truly aligns with the kind of experience you want to have for the next 20, 40, 60 years..
Don’t get attached too quickly. Continue to date other people until you’re in a committed relationship. It’s heartbreaking when women invest too much of themselves too soon, only to find out that it’s not the right match. Give yourself the gift of getting to know multiple people at the same time so you don’t start feeling desperate or get too emotionally attached to someone too soon..
Think about what you’re learning about the men you’re dating. What is the quality of the conversations you have? Do you laugh and have fun together? Do you have common interests and enjoy being together? The more curious you get, the more motivated you are to let things play out and get to know him gradually.

Remember that feelings are fleeting. You need to give yourself (and him as well) time to really get clear and be sure that what you’re experiencing together is aligned with the relationship of your dreams.

If you tend to rush into relationships or get attached to a man too quickly and you’d like support with uncovering the fears driving these patterns, we’d love to talk to you! Click the link below to schedule a Love Breakthrough Session.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

You get to keep standing for the love you want and not let fear or desperation have you slip into rushing into a relationship that isn’t what you really want.

Don’t let fear get in the way.

Take your time and know that the time you put into getting to truly know someone at the beginning will pay out in dividends later in the form of years of happiness in a relationship, as well as stop you from experiencing unnecessary heartbreak and disappointment.

Trust the process and know that the love you want is already looking for and coming to you!

Let Go of Your Checklist to Find the Love Your Heart Desires

by heartsdesireintl | Dec 11, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Getting engaged, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Ready to Love Again

by Gladys Diaz

If you’re dating, do you have a checklist for what you’re looking for in man?

Whether it’s a physical list you’ve written down or a mental checklist you keep in your head, do you have one?

If you do, you could absolutely miss the love that’s standing right in front of you.

Don’t believe us? Read on. 🙂

This week on Love Chat with the Love Twins, we had a powerful and fun conversation with one of our clients, Ellen, who’s story exemplifies this perfectly. (Did you miss it? Watch it HERE.)

Ellen is a teacher and single mom of a teenage daughter who had been divorced for 6 years. When she met us, she was dating again and had a very long, and specific, checklist of what she was looking for.

She wanted a man who was older than her, who had grown kids, was Jewish like her, didn’t have a cat… and the list went on and on. She had all of this outlined on her dating profile and would get messages from men saying things like, “Well I made it to number 14!”

This was not working for her!

So, she came to our event, New Love in the New Year, because she didn’t know how to attract the kind of man and relationship she was looking for. She wanted to be a good example for her daughter of how to approach dating and relationships in a healthy way and knew that she was most likely sabotaging her success altogether.

Through her experience at the event, she had some incredible breakthroughs!

She gained awareness and started seeing her patterns in dating that weren’t working.
She realized that her energy and negative thoughts around dating were influencing who she was attracting, and shifted from trying to “get” a man to “attracting” the man she wanted by being herself.
She understood that she could be herself on dates and in budding relationships instead of always trying to fit into a mold of what the other person was looking for.

Through the coaching she did with us, she was able to let go of her checklist and realize that you have to actually fall in love with someone — the actual person, not just who they are on paper!

She learned that her checklist was about trying to control the situation and who showed up in her life, which was all based in fear.

As she recognized and released her fears, she was able to open up to what could be possible and started paying attention to what she wanted to experience in a relationship.

She realized that letting go of the checklist is not about lowering your standards.

It was about breaking down the wall of fears so that she could experience what she wanted to experience in a relationship!

And that’s when Ross came into the picture.

He sent her a thoughtful, kind message on the dating app, and it caught her attention.

She looked at his profile and saw that he was a couple of years younger than her and he had younger kids. (Not what she was looking for!)

Normally, she would have looked the other way and not even messaged him back.

But, because of what she’d learned in the program, she opened up and responded with love and curiosity.

She’d shifted her perspective, and her experience was different.

In her words, “I was no longer searching for my husband. I was just responding to someone and being kind. I wasn’t feeling so desperate to find it and that’s when it started coming to me.”

She got to know Ross, and she was attracted to his kindness, emotional intelligence and thoughtfulness.

Their children got along beautifully, and he didn’t mind that she was still friends with her ex-husband.

He stimulated her emotionally, mentally and physically, and now they are engaged to get married!

When she looks back, she sees that, had she not shifted her mindset around her checklist, she would never have met him.

So many women worry that if they let go of their checklist they will have to settle for a bunch of things they don’t want.

The truth is, if you stop focusing on what you don’t want, then you open up the space for what you do want to come in.

When you shift the focus to what you want to experience in a relationship, instead of what you want the man to be or have, you open up the door to actually see him!

Ellen said, “A year ago, I would never have imagined that I’d be here. All of the things I didn’t know I could want again, I’m getting.”

And you can have everything you want too.

If you already know you’re ready for and you want to hear what it’s like to be in this kind of relationship, we have an easy way for you to do this!

Join us this Sunday for a very special Fireside Chat with Us and Our Husbands!

This is going to be a very special and intimate evening where the four of us will share with you exactly how we’ve created the love, connection, intimacy and joy we experience in our relationships, and how you can create the same.

We’re going to be answering questions, sharing stories and opening up space in your heart for what you really desire to experience so that you can have exactly what you desire!

Register Here

You see, having the love you want is not just about finding a man. It’s about finding yourself, building trust, and knowing that you can create the relationship of your dreams!

Join us and open up to what’s possible for you and your love life as you go into the new year!

How to Create More Intimacy With Your Man

by heartsdesireintl | Nov 30, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

Let me ask you a couple of questions:

How much connection and intimacy do you feel in your relationship?
How effective is your communication?

Did you know that communication and intimacy are 100% linked in a relationship?

Communication is key! You can have all the love in the world, and if you don’t know how to communicate effectively, then the relationship simply will not work.

98% of the coaching we do is around communication.

Why? Because it’s one of the most important aspects of any relationship (and it begins when you’re dating!).

99% of divorces and break-ups happen because root issues in a relationship never get resolved because the couple doesn’t know how to communicate clearly, effectively, and in a way that BOTH partners feel heard and understood.

Let me paint the picture for you of how this happens. I’m sure you’re going to be able to relate.

Do you ever have the experience when you’re talking to your partner that you’re not even sure whether you’re having the same conversation?

I remember before Ric and I learned the tools we teach now — sometimes it would feel like we were so far from being on the same page that it was like we weren’t even in the same room!

We were both so committed to being right that we weren’t even listening to each other.

We would be talking about something completely innocent, like what bread we like to buy, and then I would say something, Ric would say something different, which made me feel like he didn’t hear or understand what I said.

So, I’d say it again, but louder this time, and he still wouldn’t understand, and, before we knew it, we were yelling at each other, saying things we didn’t mean, being disrespectful, and hurting each other.

And then we wouldn’t talk for two or three days.

Well, we would talk a little, but it would be what I like to call the “caveman’s grunt.” I would ask Ric a question and he would give me a one-syllable or one-word answer under his breath, to let me know that he didn’t want to talk to me. (Ugh!)

Sound familiar?

That’s how break-ups and divorce happen.

Arguments start over silly (or sometimes important) things, the communication breaks down, and soon you’re arguing about something completely unrelated.

Then the silent treatment begins, and the real problem never gets resolved.

So, do you want some real communication tools?

Do you want to stop getting frustrated with your spouse, getting angry and then reacting instead of responding thoughtfully and intentionally?

Do you want to know what to say so that when your spouse says, “What did you say?” instead of repeating the same words louder, you can respond in a way that will make you feel understood and heard (and loved)?

Do you want to know how to utilize your intention, tone and body language in your communication to increase love and intimacy?

These are just a few of the things you’ll learn inside our Black Friday Special, the New Year New Love Bundle!

Grab the New Year, New Love Bundle Now!

We are passionate about supporting women to communicate effectively because we know personally the painful consequences poor communication can have on a relationship.

We want you to have all the tools that will have you communicate in a way that has you create the love, connection and intimacy you desire with your partner! .

Click here to amp up the intimacy in your relationship!

Tip: This offer goes away TODAY, so act now.

Extraordinary Success AND Extraordinary Love!

by heartsdesireintl | Oct 15, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Getting engaged, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship Advice, Success, Successful Women

4by Gladys Diaz

There are many women who believe they have to choose between having a successful business or a great relationship. They truly don’t believe it’s possible to have both.

What do you believe?

Here’s the deal: if you believe that you can’t have both, you are living in a scarcity conversation, and you’re actually blocking the success you could be experiencing in BOTH!

This week on Love Chat with the Love Twins, we featured some incredible women, colleagues and dear friends of ours, who are rocking it in their business as well as their love lives. Through these conversations, we really highlighted how not only is it possible for you to have both – but it actually makes all of it even better!

In one of the interviews, we got to hear from Amy Yamada’s partner, Ken, who shared his experience as a man being in partnership with such an incredible and successful woman!

High-quality men want to support, be in contribution to, and pour into a high-quality woman. Ken shared how much more attracted he was to Amy knowing that she was an entrepreneur and motivational speaker.

For her, at first, she felt uneasy sharing about her business with him for fear of being in here “masculine” energy. But when she decided to lean into being her authentic self, which includes being an entrepreneur , it allowed him to really see her, and it ended up being one of the things that most attracted him to her.

He said he simply wouldn’t have been attracted to her if she had not led with that.

NOT the fact that she was a business woman, but that she was AUTHENTIC.

What more proof do you need, ladies?!

Men want to support us.

I’ll never forget, years back, when I was crying – sitting in a restaurant with tears flowing down my face because I’d just been on off the phone with my business coach. I was feeling so defeated that I didn’t know what all of the tech terms meant or what all of this software I needed was, and didn’t know how I was ever going to be successful in my business.

Ric saw the opportunity, and he literally learned how to create funnels, build websites and do all-things-tech related to our business, simply as a result of wanting to support me and my dream. All these years later and I can’t even imagine where I, or Hearts Desire International for that matter, would be without him. (And now he has a great business of his own doing this for other people, too! Talk about a win-win!)

The other reason why men love being with high-quality, successful, driven women is because it inspires them to be more.

I’ll also never forget the day when I heard Ric, my very soft-spoken husband, stand on one of our stages at an event and said, “Seeing how committed Gladys is to her own transformation inspires me to become a better man.”

Definitely another tearful moment for me!

Until then I knew he admired the things I did, my career, and professional accomplishments But that day, he was talking about what he admired about ME and the woman I am! No award,degree, or certificate can hold a candle to that!

The absolutely beautiful thing about creating a partnership with someone who loves and admires you for your determination and commitment in the world is what you can create together.

It also gives you the opportunity to lean on one another and lift each other up when you have days where you’re having a hard time seeing it in yourself.

Supportive partners see you, experience you and hear you in a way that you sometimes fail to see, and they can share your life, your success, and all of the ordinary-extraordinary moments with you as you continue to strive for success in business and love.

If you have a limiting belief that you need to choose between business and love then we have something very important to share with you.

In just two weeks we’ll be hostingThe Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event, and you won’t want to miss it!!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want to stop wasting time and want to start having SUCCESS in love!

This is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

The event is happening on October 23rd-25th, and we can’t wait to have you there!

In fact, we’re so committed to having you there, that, for Birthday Week, we’re lowering the price of the ticket to just $47!!! (It’s our birthday, and will give you gifts if we want to!!!)

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

When you know that you are a loveable woman, then you can attract someone who believes that, too.

When you’re honest and authentic about who you are, business success and all, that’s when you’ll find the man who will love you completely.

When you trust yourself, love yourself, and know that you’re capable of creating an amazing relationship in your life, you WILL!

Join us to discover this for yourself!

This is what I know was true for me and, it is true for you, too.

Are You Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop?

by heartsdesireintl | Oct 2, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Forgiveness, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

How do you keep the love growing?

How do you keep the relationship from going stale?

How do you keep your marriage from getting complacent, too comfortable, or boring?

There is something we hear a lot from women. A very common concern is “Things are great now, but what happens when _________ (you fill in the blank).”

How do you not just create a relationship, but a long-lasting relationship that gets better and better with time?

We find that women who have this concern are waiting for the other shoe to drop — even when things are going well. They have a fear – whether it’s that they’re afraid he’s not trustworthy, that they’ll eventually fall into old habits and ruin things, or they’re sure there’s something wrong with him that they just haven’t seen yet – and it’s causing them to sabotage their relationships over and over again.

The problem when you are in this cycle of waiting for something to go wrong is that your focus is on what isn’t going to work, versus what’s right and going well in the present .

See if this sounds familiar…

One of our past clients found herself in this pattern. After years and years of dating, she finally found herself in the relationship of her dreams. She had met a wonderful man, and they had an incredible time together. He would fly to see her and pay to fly her out to visit him. Things were going wonderfully, and he was starting to initiate conversations about where they wanted to take the relationship next. EEEEE – exciting!

One weekend, he flew out to see her and she found herself acting strange. She could feel herself pulling away and trying to withdraw, and when he would ask what was wrong, she would respond like most women do by saying, “Nothing!”

Well, he was persistent with asking her what was going on, and eventually she told him that she could feel herself pulling away because she was waiting for something to go wrong. – How could things actually be this good?

Instead of being overjoyed and in the moment about how wonderful things were for her then, she was worried about what might happen to ruin things in the future.

Have you ever experienced yourself doing something similar?

This pattern of behavior is so detrimental and destructive to relationships, because when men are having to constantly defend themselves against things they aren’t doing, or feel like they’re paying the price for men who came before them, they get exhausted by it, and the love and intimacy starts to chip away.

When you have a history of bad relationships or trauma from your childhood, you often spend time and energy in your current relationship looking for that same history to repeat itself as a way to prepare yourself for what may happen.

The thing is, if you go into a relationship, even with the perfect man, doing this, you will sabotage it.

So, how does this show up for you?

Does it show up like it did for this client, where you pull away when things are going well?

Do you always feel like you have to do something to either “fix” the situation or the person you’re dating?

Do you create drama in your relationship so that you can feel the dips of things going badly in order to feel the high that comes with things being good again?

Here’s how you can recognize when you’re in the pattern of drama or looking for things to go wrong in our relationship:

You’re telling someone about something that isn’t working in your life and they give you a solution, and you respond with a “Yeah, but…!”

Someone presents a solution to you, and you follow-up with yet another problem that needs to be solved..

No matter how well things are going, you don’t allow yourself to enjoy the good times because you are preparing yourself for the impending doom that is on its way.

Recognizing this pattern is one of the first steps in the Heartwork that we teach, so that you can start training yourself to experience happiness and joy. Getting to a place where you understand that “peace” does not equal “boring” is a great place to begin.

Here’s the truth: Life comes with enough challenges that you don’t want or need to u create more of them.

We often hear the phrase, “Hard times are part of being in a relationship,,” and that makes us cringe! Yes, hard times come sometimes. That’s part of life. But hard times are not a requirement in a relationship.

Our goal is for every one of our clients to experience joy, love, and excitement in a relationship and to know that those can come on an ordinary day simply because you’re together.

If you’re looking for more ways to break this pattern of drama and expecting bad things to happen in your relationship, please join us tomorrow for our Reignite the Spark Masterclass !

This 3-hour event is for every woman who is looking to make her relationship, partnership, or marriage the best that it’s ever been. We want to help you take things to the next level to experience even more love, excitement and joy in your life and relationship than ever before.

Click HERE to register NOW!

Marriage doesn’t have to be hard or get boring., Feeling peaceful and comfortable with your partner is a good thing. And just because you’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean the passion has to fade.

When I’m sitting on my couch and I look over at Ric and my boys, I think “This is it! This is what joy feels like! This is what I was waiting for!”

That’s what we want for you, too, NAME!!

Join us tomorrow for Reignite the Spark!

How to Overcome the Fear of Getting Hurt

by heartsdesireintl | Sep 29, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Infidelity, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

Do you have a fear that you will be hurt or rejected?

If you don’t, you must be superhuman, because as human beings, we all deal with this!

The real question is: Is that fear running the show?
Is that fear causing you to hold back in relationships or keeping you from creating one altogether?

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, this message is for you!

It’s a common misconception that, once you get into a relationship, that fear of rejection or of getting hurt goes away, but that’s just not true. The fear of hurt or rejection can be holding you back from creating deep, intimate connection, either way.

Here’s how it works.

You have fears that something will or won’t happen in the future because of something that did or didn’t happen in the past.

Fear is running the show if it causes you to react in a certain way that is a coping mechanism for not getting hurt.

This may look like withdrawing from your partner or pulling back.

It may look like being paralyzed and feeling like you can’t do or say anything because of your fear that it will go badly.

It may look like pretending, acting as if everything is fine, when, actually, you’re feeling scared inside.

Here’s how it looks for me.

My previous marriage was not a happy marriage. The relationship brought out the worst in me and I was often critical, loud, snappy and impatient.

I remember how I would feel every time I’d come home and put the key up to the door to open it. Each time, I would stop and feel my chest tighten as I wondered what I was about to encounter on the other side of the door. I’d just hope that today might be a good day.

My fear of being alone caused me to stay in that unhappy relationship. I would stay quiet and pretend that everything was fine, and then I couldn’t really understand what was real and what I really wanted.

Fast forward to now.

I’m in an extremely happy and fulfilling relationship, but I’m still human. So during times when I may be sleep deprived or extra busy, those qualities of being critical, snappy or impatient can come out and my fear rears its ugly head.

My fear is that if I allow those qualities that I don’t like in myself to come out – and sometimes they do – then I won’t be loved or I’ll begin to recreate the relationship I had with my ex.

Your fear may be feeling like your feelings won’t be validated, fearing you’ll be used or get hurt.

When fear is running the show you feel powerless, and that’s not the way we want you to feel!!

So how do you overcome these fears?

First, you need to recognize it and acknowledge it.

What is it that you’re afraid of that’s stopping you from having the relationship you want to have?

Your fear is impacting you whether you acknowledge it or not, so you might as well bring it to light.

Then ask yourself:- If I was standing outside this fear and standing in my power, who would I be that would allow me to make a different choice?

When I recognize myself in the space where those undesirable qualities come out and I feel the fear coming to the surface, I ask myself that question.

I acknowledge the fear and step forward to own it. I take responsibility for anything I may have said to Arnie that I didn’t really mean, and I apologize so that I don’t go back to allowing that old fear running the show and hurt my relationship.

I know that I’m a powerful woman, and that I get to choose how I feel and behave. When I apologize, I open up the space in our relationship for intimacy and love to be present again.

The truth is: You can either be run by your fears or run by your ability to choose a different experience. You get to choose.

It can take a little bit of effort to get to the bottom of these fears, which is why we’re so excited to invite you to the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want to overcome their fears in love once and for all is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

We’ve changed the dates to October 23rd-25th, and this year, it’s going to be better than ever!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Once you transform something, you don’t go back to it. Take this opportunity for yourself to overcome the fears that are holding you back in love and relationships!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

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