Heart's Desire Intl | Communication

Are You Ready to Call It Quits? Read This First!!

by heartsdesireintl | Jun 19, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Forgiveness, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love

by Gladys Diaz

The last couple of weeks have brought to our attention something we’ve been preparing you for since March.

Since the moment quarantine began, we’ve been anticipating a trend of more divorces to sweep the nation — and, actually, the world — in the months to follow. Unfortunately, it seems we were right.

Just within this past week, multiple high-profile relationships have announced their plans to split up, all citing circumstances that just could no longer be ignored during quarantine.

We’ve spoken with many women over the past several weeks who are feeling the exact same way in their relationship.

Here’s the thing).

Any issue that has come up in a relationship during this time was there before the pandemic. It’s simply been amplified because you can no longer escape it or distract yourself from facing it.

The financial stress, fear of the unknown, health complications, overwhelm and anxiety that we’ve faced over these last several months, coupled with underlying problems in a relationship, are enough to push anyone over the edge.

Quarantine has been the last straw in the proverbial bucket.

That being said, calling it quits is not the only option!

It’s heartbreaking, because no one gets married expecting to get divorced, and we know that divorce comes with a lot of financial and emotional expenses, on top of everything else.

Ending a long-term relationship is a big deal, sometimes costing upwards of $20,000-$30,000 in legal expenses, not to mention the work of splitting your assets, selling your home, and the strain it puts on the family unit and kids.

Now, we’re not saying that divorce or breaking up isn’t sometimes the best option, but it’s usually not, and it’s definitely not the only option.

On the spectrum between the most passionate, loving relationship and ending it altogether, there’s something in the middle – and that’s the opportunity to transform the relationship.

So, if there is another option, why not try doing the Heartwork?

When you do, everything transforms.

And, when we say “everything,” we mean that the relationship transforms, as well as the family dynamics, work relationships, and opportunities that open up.

Because you don’t just work on the relationship – you transform yourself in the process!

Last week, one of our clients said, “I’m so grateful I’m going through this program right now because I’m hearing what my friends are going through who aren’t getting support.”

When you choose to get support, when you choose to see that it may be you that’s getting in the way of your own happiness, you allow yourself to recreate your marriage or relationship in a way that didn’t exist before.

I remember one day, back when Ric and I were struggling in our relationship. I had lost my temper, thrown food in his car and he’d left. (Wow, we’ve come a long way from that!)

I remember thinking, “It’s got to be easier to be by myself!”

I also remember knowing that if I was going to make the decision to call it quits, then I was going to need to do everything I could do to make it work. And I knew I hadn’t done that yet.

Sixteen years later, I’m soooooo glad I chose to figure out what wasn’t working and to do what I needed to do to transform myself from the inside out, which completely transformed my relationship!

So, what about you?

On a scale of 1 to 10 where is your relationship?

Has the pressure of the last few months brought up those underlying issues that it’s time to address?

Have you caught yourself wondering if it would be easier to just throw in the towel?

Do you feel like you’ve done everything you can to make it work?

If you haven’t talked to us, you haven’t done everything.

If you’ve found yourself wondering, “Are they talking to me?”, yes we are, and this is for you.

If, as you’ve been reading, you’ve been thinking, “I wonder if this would work for me?” or maybe even, “I wonder if it still wouldn’t work,” we invite you to book a call.

Let’s have a conversation about what’s going on for you and your relationship, what your options are, and how you can turn things around.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Here’s what we know: We are experts in relationships, and our mission is for every woman — including YOU — to be in the passionate, loving, relationship of her dreams.

We also know that if you do nothing, nothing changes.

Let us be there for you.

Book a call now.

It could save your relationship.

Confidence: How to Be Absolutely Irresistible to a Man

by heartsdesireintl | May 22, 2020 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz

When you hear the word confident what comes into your mind?

A name of someone you know or someone you admire?

An act of confidence – something you do?

An image that exudes confidence?

For me – the first thing that always comes into my mind when I hear the word confident, is an image of Audrey Hepburn. That woman just exuded confidence. She was soft, feminine and graceful in her way of being, yet so strong and sure.

What does confidence look like to you?

Confidence looks like smiling and looking others in the eye.

It looks like kindness.

It looks like knowing who you are and what you want and not being afraid to share it.

On the other hand, arrogance looks like trying to prove something. Without the deep knowing that she is worthy, a woman who lacks real confidence has to do things and have others give her validation in order to feel confident.

Real confidence is irresistible.

And I’m not talking about personality, either. You may be outgoing and exuberant in your interactions with people and still lack confidence. Or you may be more subdued and quiet, but carry the essence of power and confidence.

Confidence is a way of BEing.

So what does confidence look like in dating and relationships?

Like we said, confidence looks like knowing who you are, what you want, and not being afraid to express it.

We’re talking to a lot of women right now who have been meeting amazing men on dating apps during quarantine, and now that things are starting to open back up, still aren’t quite feeling ready to meet someone new in person.

How do you feel about it?

However you feel about it, confidence looks like being true to yourself and not being afraid of what the other person may say or do.

If a man that you’ve been interacting with on the app now asks if you’d like to meet and you’re still not feeling safe, you can say, “I’d love to meet you when all of this completely clears up. For now, I’d prefer to continue getting to know you here.”

This lets him know that you are interested in him. You’re simply not ready to meet in person yet.

And then he can do what feels right to him with that information.

Whatever his reaction is, you can know that you stood confidently in what was true for you.

Now, here’s another question we get asked a lot: Does asking a man out on a date exude confidence?

We don’t think so.

There is a difference between confidence and pursuing.

When you ask a man on a date, you are doing it out of the fear that if you don’t, then he won’t, and you cheat yourself out of the experience of him asking you out.

Instead, when you stand in the confidence of your worth and know that the right men will ask you out, you exude real confidence and that is simply irresistible to men.

So here’s the question for you now:

How confident are you that you can create the relationship you want on your own?

You see, we’re here to support you in developing the skills and knowing the steps to be able to say and get what you want.

These are the skills that will support you in creating the relationship of your dreams:

Communication skills, relationship skills and confidence.

Remember, confidence is a way of BEing. It’s something that’s developed through conscious practice. And we want to support you in creating such a knowing of your own value and worth that you radiate it through who you are being.

So if you’re ready to step past your fears and create a relationship with yourself that is so next- level that your confidence shines through the roof, then book a call with us now!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

I’ve been with Ric for 21 years and Michelle’s been with Arnie for 13. We know what it to keep relationships going and growing stronger year after year!

We’re both just as in love and passionate about our partners now as the day we met them – if not incredibly more!

We want that for you, too!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Stop the Arguing and Start Thriving in Your Relationship!

by heartsdesireintl | May 8, 2020 | Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Do you feel like you and your partner can’t agree on anything?

Do you like to talk about things and he prefers to think it through first?

When disagreements arise, do tension and arguments rise, too?

Do you feel like you don’t know how your differences can work in your relationship?

Let me tell you this.

“It’s not disagreements that’s tearing your relationship apart. It’s the way you’re disagreeing.”

Ric and I are like the yin and yang. We are two complete opposite puzzle pieces that couldn’t be more different.

We feel differently about religion, about politics and lots of other things! We are extremely different! And there was a time when I wasn’t sure our relationship would survive.

When I look back on that time in our marriage, I am embarrassed because I had to be right about everything! I would correct everything he did. Even the smallest things he did and said If he did them differently than me, I would correct him.

Almost every conversation we had, whether we were talking about paint, our dinner, or work, would end up in an argument, and I would end up in another room crying because I was so upset about how such a simple conversation could end so badly.

Can you relate?

The thing is we all have an Ego – that part of our brain that wants to keep us safe and wants us to be right, no matter what the cost. And, as human beings with an Ego, sometimes we don’t realize that we are giving away our happiness in our effort to be right.

It is painful and exhausting to be in the experience of always fighting over things you don’t agree on.

Your fear that possibly you made the wrong choice when you picked your partner, or that, if you were right for each other it wouldn’t be so hard is often the thing that is triggering your need to be right.

Sometimes we think that if two people are meant to be together, they’ll like all the same things, think the same way, and make the same choices

That couldn’t be farther from the truth!

Again, remember the yin and yang? Your differences and individuality are the things that brought you together, and they are the things that will keep you together – IF you learn how to respect and appreciate them.

You first need awareness of the pattern – because, more than likely, it’s happening automatically.

So, ask yourself honestly:

Does this resonate with you?

Do you put your partner down?

Do you correct and try to get him to agree with you?

I guarantee that your intention is not to hurt each other – I know mine wasn’t!

But are you reacting to a subconscious fear or belief and, in the process, making him wrong?

Awareness is just the first step in the process. There are communication and relationship skills that will help you transform your differences from this recurring experience of disagreeing and fighting into something beautiful that actually brings you closer together.

Relationships require at least one person in the relationship being willing to show up at her strongest so that things work well, and if you desire a happy, healthy, connected and passionate relationship that will last a lifetime, then we have something special for you!

We’re so excited to be inviting you to the Reignite the Spark Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, May 9th at 12pm Eastern!

In three information-packed hours, you’ll learn exactly how to break through the patterns that have been sabotaging your relationship, inspire your partner’s love and desire, and deepen the love and intimacy in your relationship (yes, even during these stressful times), so that you can create the happy, loving relationship that will last well beyond this pandemic. In fact… It will last for a lifetime!

Grab your spot for the Reignite the Spark Masterclass here!

Just like two puzzle pieces that are shaped exactly the opposite of one another in order to complete the puzzle , two very different people can fit together perfectly, despite their differences, and create a beautiful masterpiece when they learn how to fit together.

We’re here to show you how!

How to Overcome Social Distancing Anxiety

by heartsdesireintl | May 1, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Even before the events of Covid-19 shook our world, women would come to us because they were triggered by the distance they felt in relationships.

Whether it was physical distance or perceived distance (like he starts texting/calling less than he did before), distance is something that causes a lot of women anxiety.

Because of the events of the last couple of months and the “social distancing” regulations that have been put on all of us, this anxiety may be amplified for you.

If anxiety in relationships isn’t something you had previously dealt with, it may be something that has been coming up for you now.

As these “social distancing” regulations begin to be lifted in different parts of the country, a whole new kind of anxiety might be setting in for you. The anxiety of whether it’s really safe to go out now? …to meet someone new? …to hug or kiss?

If you have been or are experiencing anxiety for any reason, you’re not alone, and the number one thing you can do for yourself under our current circumstances is to honor yourself. Get clarity around what’s true for you. Let go of social agreements and make a decision you can stand by.

One of the essential elements of being an Irresistible Woman is being connected to what you really feel and standing confidently in it.

So, what do you do if, because the restrictions are being lifted in your community, a guy asks you if you’d like to meet, and you still feel like it’s too soon?

You can say, “For me, it’s still too soon to meet in person, but I’d love to keep getting to know you.” From there he can decide whether or how he wants to make that happen.

It’s as easy as that.

What if you had anxiety before Covid-19? Did experiencing distance (either physical or perceived distance ) in a relationship trigger you before?

Did you find yourself sending memes that you found funny or articles you thought he’d be interested in because you’re feeling anxious that you haven’t heard from him in a few days (or hours!)

Do you find yourself doing these things just so you can get on his radar and get the hit that will deflate the anxiety when/if he responds?

If so, remember this: It’s not as helpful to pay attention to what he’s doing as it is to pay attention to how you’re reacting to it.

Your reaction is what’s causing the anxiety.

When the anxiety hits, ask yourself: “What is it that’s really bothering me?” “Why does not hearing from him worry me so much?”

And then be gentle with yourself.

It’s a fear that’s getting triggered, and it can feel all-consuming.

Take a breath and remind yourself that you’re safe and nothing bad is happening to you.

If you’re feeling this over a guy you’ve just started seeing, then remind yourself that you’re just getting to know each other and it’s okay that you haven’t heard from him. It doesn’t mean anything.

If it’s someone you’ve been seeing a little longer, then ask yourself if the anxiety you’re feeling is because you’re getting attached because he’s the only person you’re seeing. If you’re still not in a committed relationship with a man, maybe it’s time to open up to seeing others as well.

It is also powerful to notice if anxiety is a pattern you’ve created for yourself.

Not to downplay it in any way, as anxiety is a very real experience that has your nervous system go crazy and triggers irrational thoughts. But notice if being in a state of high anxiety is something you’ve trained yourself to feel.

We find with many women that they feel “alive” when they’re worrying about something and that, even when things are calm and going well, they still feel anxiety because they automatically (and subconsciously) start looking for something to worry about it.

Anxiety can also be triggered by wanting to control people, conditions, or circumstances that are outside of your control.

If you notice yourself in this pattern, start teaching yourself how to shift.

If you find yourself looking for something to worry about, notice and laugh about it. Then think of something you’re grateful for, or think of something else you can focus your attention on that you do have control over so that you can begin to retrain your mind out of the pattern of constant worrying.

There is so much more we could share on this topic, and so much of this really requires personal coaching to get to the root of what triggers the anxiety in the first place!

This is why we’re so excited to be inviting you to the second Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, May 2nd at 12pm Eastern!

Because we had such an incredible turn out last week, because so many of you asked if we could offer the training again – and because we had so much fun – we decided to do it one more time!

In this interactive masterclass you will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating skills, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams.

Grab your spot for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass here!

In the search for love, you don’t have to be worried!

You are in control of how you feel, react, and respond, and we’re here to show you how!

As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.

We’re here for you!

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

by heartsdesireintl | Apr 24, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz

Should I stay or should I go?

Have you ever asked yourself that question?

If you’re asking yourself that, maybe a better question is: “Why am I staying?”

Maybe he’s not showing up the way he used to.

Maybe you’re not comfortable in the relationship and can’t be yourself.

Maybe there’s a lot of drama in the relationship and it’s exhausting.

Maybe it’s been this way for a long time and you know your life is passing you by.

Why…?

And by the way… this conversation doesn’t just exist when talking about relationships.

This conversation about being unclear or feeling “stuck” is relevant to just about any area of your life.

Maybe you’re staying in a job you don’t like and that’s not fulfilling.

Maybe your house doesn’t light you up or create the feeling of home.

Maybe you feel stuck in your business or a friendship.

Where in your life are you just surviving?

Where are you settling for less than you desire?

People stay in situations that are less than what they want because of FEAR. Fear of not knowing what the alternative will be like, if it will work out, and if they can handle it.

Staying comfortable in something less than desirable feels better (or seems safer) than the risk of stepping outside of your comfort zone to create something different.

Can you relate?

I know it was that way for me. I was married for over 12 years and at least the last three or four years of that relationship were spent knowing it wasn’t going to get any better. Did you hear me… four years!! I had major doubt that I could do it on my own, that I had what it took to leave and create something better.

At that time in my life I was doing the same exact thing in my professional life. I was in a job that I hated. But I had a false sense of safety and wasn’t doing anything about it out of fear.

Sound familiar?

So… should you stay or should you go?

First of all, if you are in a situation where you are in danger, where you experience moments of being afraid in your relationship, then there’s no question. You should go.

No woman should ever be in a situation where she feels afraid. If that’s you, please reach out for support.

Secondly, if you’re waiting for someone else to do something, or if you feel like you just can’t take the way things are for one more day, then it’s time to ask yourself, ”Why am I staying?”

The thing is this, most of the time, love is not what’s in question.

We hear stories from so many women and the first answer is always “Because I love him” or “Because we love each other.”

You can 100% feel that you love someone and not be in a relationship that is healthy, going somewhere, or what you really desire.

What’s really in question is whether you love yourself.

Do you love yourself enough to have what you desire?

And if you’re not clear on what you desire, do you love yourself enough to get crystal-clear about it so that you can find the courage to step out of what you’re settling for and open up the space for what you really want?

After my divorce, and after I finally did the Heartwork to learn how to love myself, I was clear that I didn’t ever again want to be with someone that wasn’t 100% sure they wanted to be with me. When I finally created that clarity for myself, everything changed.

Now for the question of whether you should stay.

You should stay if you feel safe and if you have a desire to make things work. Even if right now, you’re the only one saying she wants it to work, there needs to be a desire to change things.

We’ve worked with women who have completely redesigned their relationships. They have done the work on themselves in order to experience the relationship differently and create the relationship of their dreams inside the relationship they are already in.

So, if you find yourself in the question of whether you should stay or go, then the time is now to take action. No amount of complaining, talking about it, or hoping that it’s going to change on its own is going to change anything. You have to take committed action!

This is why we’re so excited to be inviting you to the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, April 25th at 12pm Eastern!

You will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating leadership coaching, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams.

Grab your spot for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass here!

In the search for love, YOU get to choose!

As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.

We’re here for you!

How to “COVID-19 Proof” Your Relationship

by heartsdesireintl | Apr 13, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Is his breathing starting to drive you crazy?

Do you feel like you’re not getting any alone time?

Are you arguing about every little thing?

We ask these questions a little lightheartedly because we know feeling these things right now doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner. It’s simply that the stress in your relationship may be rising as you’re being forced to spend more time together than usual in what is probably starting to feel like a very confined space.

Also, with extra time and less distractions, the things you’ve been too busy or too distracted to address in your relationship are coming up.

The pressure may be starting to rise, and you may be feeling like you’re about to burst! (Remember those old pressure-cookers? The way they would whistle louder and louder meaning it was getting closer to the exploding point? Are you beginning to feel like that?!?)

You know, just the other day Arnie and I were having a conversation and I was starting to feel frustrated. It just didn’t feel like he was understanding my point of view and I was beginning to feel the pressure rising!

The conversation was starting to get a little heated, but then I remembered… “What if he just sees it differently?”

Remembering that people process information differently (especially men and women!) has the power to change everything. In those heated moments, it can be difficult to remember that , but it is so important!

So, what can you do to bring the stress level down a notch?

The different circumstances that we are all currently experiencing are magnifying the need to have good communication skills in place in your relationship, because, when you don’t have the skills you’ll either 1) withdraw from your partner, or 2) explode and word-vomit all over him!

Neither of these things will lead to the loving, connected, supportive relationship you want to have with your partner.

When it comes to communication there are three very important things to remember.

What you say.
How you say it.
The energy behind what you’re saying.

Let’s focus on that third one.

A large part of communicating effectively is thinking about how the message is going to be received. Now, you can’t control how the other person is going to hear what you’re saying, but you can be responsible for the intention and energy behind your words.

Before you speak, ask yourself, “What do I want to create in the space between us?”

Setting the intention of creating love, connection, and understanding before a heated conversation begins changes what happens during the conversation and the outcome drastically.

The second thing you can do if you’ve found yourself having a stressful conversation with your partner is take a step back and talk about what isn’t working from a neutral state by using nouns and verbs.

What does that look like?

Saying “When you did ____________ it made me ___________” doesn’t work, because it immediately sets your partner up to defend himself..

Instead, when you say, “What doesn’t work is yelling” or “What doesn’t work is blaming,” it changes the conversation. Instead of getting defensive, you are both able to identify what isn’t working and shift it.

And lastly, if things are getting heated and you’re not seeing a loving and productive way out of an impending blow-up, then call a time-out.

Take a 5-10 minute break to think about what the other person is saying and feeling. Stay awake in your relationship and allow time to process your own thoughts and feelings before continuing the conversation, if needed.

It’s also important to allow for disagreements.

Like I shared in the example above, sometimes we are just going to see things differently. You are two completely different human beings with your own thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. Remember that many of those differences are the things that attracted you to one another, so allow for the disagreements, making respect a top priority in your communication, even when you don’t see eye-to-eye on something.

All of these communication skills work really well in romantic relationships, and you can also practice them with everyone in your life.

It is not enough just to know what to do. As Tony Robbins says: Knowledge is only potential power., you get to do it.

Knowledge only has the power to transform and make a difference when it is used effectively. So, use these skills with your partner, with your kids, with your co-workers.

We are all under pressure right now, and that doesn’t mean our relationships have to break down.

If you have a specific issue you’d like to discuss with your partner, and you’re not sure how to do it in a way that leads to more love and partnership, we’re opening up extra spots on our calendar to help you prepare for and have the conversation in a way that will lead to more love, connection, and partnership with the man you love.

Simply click below and schedule a Love Breakthrough Session, and we’ll walk you through exactly what to say and do so that you can communicate and connect with your partner now.

Click here to schedule a Communication Love Breakthrough Session.

We are going to get through this, and we’re going to get through it together.

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