How to Overcome the Fear of Getting Hurt

How to Overcome the Fear of Getting Hurt

by | Sep 29, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Infidelity, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have a fear that you will be hurt or rejected? 

If you don’t, you must be superhuman, because as human beings, we all deal with this!

The real question is:  Is that fear running the show?
Is that fear causing you to hold back in relationships or keeping you from creating one altogether? 

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, this message is for you!

It’s a common misconception that, once you get into a relationship, that fear of rejection or of getting hurt goes away, but that’s just not true. The fear of hurt or rejection can be holding you back from creating deep, intimate connection, either way. 

Here’s how it works. 

You have fears that something will or won’t happen in the future because of something that did or didn’t happen in the past. 

Fear is running the show if it causes you to react in a certain way that is a coping mechanism for not getting hurt. 

This may look like withdrawing from your partner or pulling back. 

It may look like being paralyzed and feeling like you can’t do or say anything because of your fear that it will go badly. 

It may look like pretending, acting as if everything is fine, when, actually, you’re feeling scared inside.

Here’s how it looks for me.

My previous marriage was not a happy marriage. The relationship brought out the worst in me and I was often critical, loud, snappy and impatient. 

I remember how I would feel every time I’d come home and put the key up to the door to open it. Each time, I would stop and feel my chest tighten as I wondered what I was about to encounter on the other side of the door. I’d just hope that today might be a good day. 

My fear of being alone caused me to stay in that unhappy relationship.  I would stay quiet and pretend that everything was fine, and then I couldn’t really understand what was real and what I really wanted. 

Fast forward to now. 

I’m in an extremely happy and fulfilling relationship, but I’m still human. So during times when I may be sleep deprived or extra busy, those qualities of being critical, snappy or impatient can come out and my fear rears its ugly head. 

My fear is that if I allow those qualities that I don’t like in myself to come out – and sometimes they do – then I won’t be loved or I’ll begin to recreate the relationship I had with my ex.

Your fear may be feeling like your feelings won’t be validated, fearing you’ll be used or get hurt.

When fear is running the show you feel powerless, and that’s not the way we want you to feel!!

So how do you overcome these fears? 

First, you need to recognize it and acknowledge it. 

What is it that you’re afraid of that’s stopping you from having the relationship you want to have? 

Your fear is impacting you whether you acknowledge it or not, so you might as well bring it to light. 

Then ask yourself:- If I was standing outside this fear and standing in my power, who would I be that would allow me to make a different choice? 

When I recognize myself in the space where those undesirable qualities come out and I feel the fear coming to the surface, I ask myself that question. 

I acknowledge the fear and step forward to own it. I take responsibility for anything I may have said to Arnie that I didn’t really mean, and I apologize so that I don’t go back to allowing that old fear running the show and hurt my relationship. 

I know that I’m a powerful woman, and that I get to choose how I feel and behave. When I apologize, I open up the space in our relationship for intimacy and love to be present again. 

The truth is: You can either be run by your fears or run by your ability to choose a different experience. You get to choose.

It can take a little bit of effort to get to the bottom of these fears, which is why we’re so excited to invite you to the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want to overcome their fears in love once and for all is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

We’ve changed the dates to October 23rd-25th, and this year,  it’s going to be better than ever! 

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Once you transform something, you don’t go back to it. Take this opportunity for yourself to overcome the fears that are holding you back in love and relationships!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

True or False? Men are Intimidated by Strong and Successful Women

True or False? Men are Intimidated by Strong and Successful Women

by | Sep 11, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Success, Successful Women

by Gladys Diaz 

True or False? 

Men are intimidated and turned off by strong and successful women. 

False!

It is a myth and limiting belief that men are intimidated by strong women. 

The truth that we have discovered through working with hundreds of women is that you can be a strong, powerful and successful woman and create the loving, connected passionate relationship that you desire. 

The key is creating an interdependent relationship and developing the Irresistible Essences in yourself that are attractive to a man. 

A man admires and appreciates confidence and happiness in a woman. He loves knowing that the woman he’s with doesn’t depend on him for her happiness, but that he gets to come to the relationship and bring even more happiness into her life. 

What a confident, high-quality man doesn’t like is being with a woman who tries to control him, change him, or show and tell him how he should do things. What he doesn’t like is when the woman constantly tries to take the lead. 

That’s a total turn off. 

There’s a big difference between the woman who is strong, successful, and capable and  a woman who is intimidating, forceful, demanding or overbearing. 

If you have a tendency to show up in the more forceful ways of being, you may have a pattern of control that you get to look at.

Ask yourself:
What’s going has me switch into “control mode??
Why is that showing up for me?
What am I afraid will or won’t happen if I’m not in control of a person or situation? 

Fear wears many masks, and control is a big one. 

Do you fear he’ll leave? 

Do you fear you won’t be enough and, therefore, you’re always trying to prove something to yourself, him, and others? 

Do you fear things won’t go the way you want them to  if you don’t control the situation? 

Let me tell you as a former control freak: It’s exhausting to try to be in control of everyone and everything!
It’s absolutely draining to be constantly trying to control your man, or the whole universe, for that matter!

Life is so much better when you let go and learn to allow and go with the flow.

I can  tell you from my experience as a love coach that the best and most fulfilling way to have the most wonderful experience in a relationship is to do less.

That’s right! 

Now… If the thought of not controlling anything scares you to your core, not to worry.  There are still several thing you have 100% control over:

You get to be in control of your thoughts. 

You get to be in control of your words. 

You get to be in control of your behavior. 

Everything else? Just let it go! 

High-quality men, the kind I know you’re looking for, want to be with a woman who’s passionate, is up to big things in her life, and is the kind of woman who makes amazing things happen. 

High-quality men have passions of their own and are up to big things, too. 

The only men who aren’t turned off by a woman that tries to control everything are men who aren’t doing things with their own lives and want someone who will tell them what to do. 

And we know you aren’t looking for a man like that!

It’s a practice of learning how to let go showing your partner that you trust him, and then letting things be. 

It’s a practice because it takes effort – but it’s so worth it!

If you’re wanting to experience even more trust, openness and joy in dating and relationships, then you absolutely want to make sure that you join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE Virtual Live Event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event is for strong, successful, powerful women who want SUCCESS in love now! This event is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

The regular ticket price is $497 – but right now it’s only $97 and that price ends TONIGHT at Midnight EST! 

So if you know you want to attend and grab a seat for this super-low price, grab your ticket now!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

The other reason you don’t want to wait is because this year we’ll be sending you a special “LOVE Box” filled with gifts and materials you’ll be using during the event,  and we only ordered  a certain number of them.  Once they’re gone, they’re GONE

So again, if you already know you want to attend and have a life-changing experience where you and your love life will never be the same,  grab your ticket and your LOVE Box now!


Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

Whether you’ve come to the Irresistible Woman Live event in the past or not, this year is going to be very special, because there are things we can virtually that we couldn’t do before.

PLUS,  there are people who would not normally be able to fly across the country, or across the world, who can come this year – so we know it’s going to be extra amazing! 

This is a really special opportunity to share a powerful weekend together and have the transformation of a lifetime, and we can’t wait to see you there!

How to Listen to Actually Hear Your Partners

How to Listen to Actually Hear Your Partners

by | Aug 17, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Romance

by Gladys Diaz 

Let’s talk about listening. 

It’s been said that listening is 50% of the communication process.

Well, we think differently! 

Listening is 100% of communication because, if you’re not actively listening, you’re not really having a conversation.

If you’re not listening you’re having a monologue, instead of a dialogue, and that isn’t really a conversation, now, is it?

We’re talking about not just listening, but really hearing what the other person is saying. 

Have you ever had this experience of listening vs. hearing? 

Think about a clock that ticks in your house. Probably, most of the time you don’t even notice the ticking, or you might hear it and it doesn’t really affect you. Now think about how you feel when you tune into it and all of the sudden the ticking becomes 10 times louder and drives you absolutely crazy! 

It’s maddening right?!

Kind of a silly example, but do you see the difference between listening and actually hearing? 

Hearing involves attention and presence, and is so very important in dating and relationships.  

If you’re dating, you’re aiming to get to know people well enough to know if you want to keep getting to know them. How do you do that if you’re not listening well? 

Really listening can help you catch key things you may otherwise have missed that can cause you to either want to get to know someone better, or save you lots of heartache and wasted time in the long run. 

If you’re in a relationship, one of the most loving things you can do for your partner is to simply listen without saying a word. 

How often do you do that?

We get it,.   It’s not always easy. As mothers and wives we get how easy it is to give in to the desire to say something from a desire to support and help the other person. 

However, when someone feels heard, they feel acknowledged, loved, cared for, seen, known and understood. 

And those are beautiful gifts to receive!

So, how do you listen so you actually hear the other person? 

It starts with being in control of the voice in your head. You know, the voice that is constantly thinking about, judging and placing opinions on everything you hear. 

That voice that just asked if you have one of those voices… Yep, that’s the one!

Acknowledge you have that voice so you can start turning the volume down on it and really listening when others are talking. 

The next step is to be an active listener. 

What does that mean? 

Engage with the conversation. Ask questions and seek to understand. Refrain from interrupting and interjecting your own thoughts and opinions, but let the other person know you’re listening by showing you’re invested in the conversation. 

You can also say periodically things like, “I want to make sure I’m hearing you….” or “What I’m hearing you say is…” so that you can make sure you are understanding what they are trying to communicate. 

The experience on the receiving end of these questions is one of “Wow! She really cares about me and wants to make sure she understands me!” 

If you want to show a lot of courage, you could also ask at the end of a conversation how the other person felt about your listening. And then listen for the feedback of what the other person’s experience was. 

You can become a better listener just by asking for feedback along the way!

In communication, the words you say, how you say them, and how you listen are the keys to making a difference for people in your life.
 These tools work across the board. How would your relationships in all walks of life — work, family, friendships —  benefit from better listening? 

If you’d like some support with recognizing the blocks in your own listening patterns, that’s what we’re here for! We know the tools of communication that work in relationships — AND the ones that don’t — so that you can experience greater levels of love, trust and intimacy with those you love and care about. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Think of the number of people in your life who are important to you and how communicating better would make a difference for them. Think about how this could transform the communication and connection in your relationships.

It’s a complete game changer when you know how to use the tools! We want you to go out in your life and have beautiful conversations that make a difference for you and the person you love!

How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

by | Jul 17, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

How deep is your connection with the people you’re in relationship with? 

Do you feel like you can be open, intimate and close with others, or do you feel like your relationships are superficial and shallow? 

As human beings, we long for connection with other people, but not just any connection. We crave deep intimacy. Relationships where we can speak freely and share our souls. 

The thing is, the depth you’ll be able to go with someone else can only be as deep as the depth you’re able to go with yourself.

If you’re able to connect with yourself on a deep level, you’ll be able to connect deeply with others and create the fulfilling, connected, deep relationship you desire. 

So what if you can’t? What if you feel stuck in a pattern that’s not working? 

A client of ours was feeling frustrated because, for the third time in a row she’d created a committed relationship with a man, only to then find out something about his character that she wasn’t okay with.

She was frustrated because she was wondering why she wasn’t seeing the things she needed to see in a man before allowing herself to fall in love and become attached to him. 

She wanted to heal whatever was underneath this pattern so she could 1) stop having to deal with the heartbreak of walking away from men she loved who weren’t what she wanted, and 2) so she could finally create a deep relationship with the right man. 

She was experiencing this because there was something within her that needed healing and she was attracting that in those she was dating. 

So how do you heal what’s getting in the way of the love you want? 

First, you must get some insight. Look into your experience of you. 

Now is the time to get real with yourself. Answer these questions, honestly: 

Are your actions out of alignment with your beliefs and values? 

Do you have a hard time setting healthy boundaries?

Do you waver on your word or struggle having integrity with what you say?

Do you avoid certain people, situations or conversations? 

Do you try to change who you are to appease others? 

Do you have a hard time trusting others?

Do you walk around in a state of protection? Always feeling that you’re unsafe?

Do you push people away before they can get close?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you most likely are disconnected in some area of your life, which will cause you to feel disconnected in areas of your relationships.

Look closely at your answers. 

Why do you behave the way you do? Where does it come from? 

If you’re in a relationship with someone right now and it feels like something is missing, look at it. Where is the connection missing? Get curious about it.

Open up in new ways to your partner. Look at what’s missing where you are and see what you can do to transform that barrier within yourself that will inspire change in the relationship. 

Once you’ve looked inward and seen where the breakdown is coming, from then you can heal it. 

You don’t overcome barriers. You heal them. 

You get to the source of where they came from — the moment you decided you couldn’t trust yourself, or whatever it is for you — and you do the Heartwork to heal it.

Now hear this:  You are not broken. Your heart may be broken, but you are not.
There may be a piece of you that is broken off, and that’s what you want to heal. 

Doing the Heartwork is about healing and bringing that piece back. 

Would you like support in healing the wounds you have?

Do you want to restore trust in yourself and others, have faith in love, let go of fears from the past and step into the relationship you desire – with yourself and others?

If so, we’d love to talk to you! Sometimes it takes someone else’s insight to see where we;re  blocked, and to learn how to do the work to heal it. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

When you heal, then you can be brave in life and love, because you’re open and ready to connect deeply and authentically within yourself and with others in relationship.

How to Communicate so He Can Actually Hear You

How to Communicate so He Can Actually Hear You

by | Jul 10, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

What do your conversations with your partner look and feel like? 

When you share what you want or feel with your partner, do you think you’re communicating effectively, but he n gets defensive or doesn’t understand what you’re really trying to say? 

Do you want to know how to communicate what you want and feel in a way that your partner can receive and hear it? 

Sometimes, learning how to communicate effectively in relationships can feel like you’re learning a whole new language. This is because we’ve been conditioned that “being honest” or “sharing how we feel” means we have to complain or say what we want in an ineffective way. 

For example, let’s say you feel like your partner doesn’t do enough around the house. You say things like, “It’d be nice if I could get some help around here!” or “I never get any help!” or “I always have to do everything myself.” 

And then… he doesn’t do anything different. 

You’re confused, because you think you expressed your needs and hoping your partner will feel motivated and inspired to help. 

But he isn’t.

This was going on in my relationship with Ric years ago, and it was frustrating! 

I felt like I was asking for help, but nothing was changing in his behavior. 

Why wasn’t he responding the way I wanted him to?!

The answer is because I wasn’t communicating effectively.  

One day I said distinctly, “I need help.” 

What was his response? 

“What do you need help with?” 

I honestly didn’t know what to say, because it never occurred to me that it could be that easy. 

No nagging… no complaining… just “I need help!”

And then he offered  to take on a few of the things I didn’t feel I could do alone. 

Wow! 

I got the result I wanted simply from changing the way I was communicating and being distinct and clear about what I wanted.

He wanted to help me, he just needed to be able to hear what I was saying without the “static” of complaints, reasons, and justifications for it. . 

When communicating what you want with your partner, make sure you use short, distinct comments that clearly state what you want. 

“I want to go for a walk.” 

“I’m disappointed because I was looking forward to seeing you.” 

“I don’t want to do these dishes right now.” 

Clearly stating what you want allows the other person to hear you. 

It really is that simple. 

Another important part of communicating effectively in a relationship is making sure your intention for the conversation is clear and that you let go of any attachment to how the other person may respond. 

Intention is the umbrella under which the conversation happens, and it’s the compass that guides it. 

Your reason for communicating can’t be about trying to get the other person to do or say something. It has to be 100% about saying what you want to say in order to stay in alignment with what is true for you, regardless of how he may react.

Be very careful with this ,because your ego will try and get in the way. 

Be honest with yourself and make sure your emotions are in a place where your pure intention is  to create what you want — love, peace and connection vs being right or getting an apology. 

If you’re not clear about what you want to say and why, postpone the conversation until you are. 

Ineffective communication is the #1 breakdown in relationships, and mastering how you can create the kind of relationship you want to create is the key to success. If you’d like support in seeing how you can create more clarity and impact through your communication, book a call with us now!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Having clarity of intention, making sure your emotions are clear prior to the conversation, knowing what you want and don’t want, and letting go of attachment are the keys to having meaningful conversations that create deeper intimacy, connection and love in a relationship. 

Let us support you!

Is He Lacking Integrity? Are You?

Is He Lacking Integrity? Are You?

by | Jul 7, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

What is your definition of integrity? 

The universal answers that probably come to mind are,”Being honest,” or “Doing the right thing when nobody’s watching.”

Here’s our definition:“Honoring your word to the same level that you honor yourself.” 

This looks like following through with the things you say you’ll do – both to yourself and to others. 

This looks like honoring your personal thoughts and beliefs. 

This looks like knowing what you want and not settling for less. 

There was a time in my life when I didn’t really think about integrity. It just wasn’t something that mattered to me. I thought that being ten minutes late was still being on time. I justified my behavior and figured that if I didn’t follow through on things, people would understand. 

The thing is, I had no idea what I was doing to myself subconsciously.

The fact is, I was destroying my confidence regarding what I deserved. I was destroying the level of belief I had in myself about what I could create and accomplish.

Every time I took a job that paid less than what I wanted, I was diminishing  my personal integrity. 

Every time I called a guy I liked after I’d promised myself I’d wait to hear from him. I was showing that I didn’t believe I was worth being honest to. 

Every time I didn’t stick to a diet or exercise plan ,I was lowering my ability to trust myself.

I didn’t see that what I said mattered. 

The problem with this is that you can’t create a powerful life if you can’t trust yourself.

Every time I lowered my integrity, my life got more chaotic. 

And, finally I had a powerful wake-up call. 

“What if I started living my life by what I say matters?”

Guess what happened?

Well, when it comes to dating,I stopped tolerating certain things. If a guy said he’d call at a certain time and he didn’t, I noticed. If he did it time and time again I would choose to let him go. 

I stopped dating men that were separated, but still married. 

I raised my standards and stopped dating men who lied, did marijuana, and had lower standards than me. 

By raising my standards, I raised my awareness.

I realized that I could choose, and I started to choose differently. 

I started dating men who cared about integrity, too, and that made all the difference.

What if you were living your life like what you say matters? What might change?  

The #1 thing that improves self confidence is following through with the things you say you’ll do – both to others AND to yourself. 

Even the little things!

You can’t attract what you don’t create. You must start with yourself and have a look at your own level of integrity. 

When it comes to dating, you get to choose what you tolerate in a relationship – you get to decide!

We get it, sometimes emotions and attraction take over and we make concessions and accept behavior we don’t like. 

That’s why you need to be aware and awake.

Does he show up late or cancel 50% of the time? 

Does he treat you well both publicly and privately? 

Are you tolerating something you don’t want to have in a relationship?

These are just the beginning of the questions you can ask yourself to make sure you are creating or in the kind of  relationship you’d like to be in. 

And, if it appears that you’re in a relationship that lacks respect and integrity – look at yourself first. Be honest with yourself about whether or not you are respecting and being in integrity with yourself.

Don’t waste time and energy on things that don’t matter. Let him go.

Choose what you’ll tolerate.

Believe that you’re available to men who have and demonstrate integrity. 

There’s power in that.

If you’d like support diving into the questions that will bring you what you really desire in a relationship and what you may be tolerating to light, we’d love to speak with you!

Let us be the powerful wake-up call that supports you in creating the love and mutually respectful relationship you really want!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Creating the life and relationship you want is always an internal job. If you’re attracting or in relationship with men that lie, don’t follow-through, or lack integrity in some other way – it’s time to take a look inward. We’re here to help you course-correct that so that you can experience the love and happiness your heart desires.

We’ve got you.